Podcast Summary

Podcast: This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil
Episode: Five Habits of Hope with Dr. Julia Garcia | 365
Release Date: November 26, 2025
Host: Nicole Kalil
Guest: Dr. Julia Garcia – Psychologist, author, speaker, and creator of the Five Habits of Hope

Episode Overview

In this episode, Nicole Kalil explores the topic of hope—what it means, why it often feels absent in our lives, and, crucially, how it can be deliberately cultivated. Joined by Dr. Julia Garcia, an expert who specializes in guiding people through dark moments, the conversation centers around Dr. Garcia’s practical framework: the Five Habits of Hope. Together, they break down common misconceptions about hope, differentiate it from fleeting emotions or mere optimism, and discuss actionable habits to sustain hope even during personal or collective challenges.

The dynamic is candid, supportive, and at times vulnerable, as both women share professional insights and personal struggles. The aim is to reframe hope not as a naive feeling, but as an emotional practice and process that can empower individuals—and communities—especially women redefining “woman’s work” on their own terms.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Hope, Why Now?

• Nicole Kalil opens with reflections on personal overwhelm and the guiding question: What’s missing? For her, the glaring answer is hope (02:01).
  “Hope is what's missing. Sure, we have doom, gloom, shame, blame... But hope? It feels like it's slipping through our fingers.” (Nicole, 02:09)
• Nicole suggests hope isn’t just a feeling, but a habit and a lifeline we've been missing (02:38).

2. Dr. Julia Garcia’s Journey to Hope

• Dr. Garcia is deeply moved by the opening, sharing that hope was never her life’s planned mission, and she once thought it was “corny... not serious, not something people would take seriously” (03:42).
• Personal experience with both her own darkest times and others’, particularly in her work with students and people in crisis, led her to discover hope as a practical and transformative habit (05:00).

3. Debunking Myths: Hope Is Not Happiness (Or a Destination)

• Both women relate: people conflate hope with happiness (06:43). Dr. Garcia emphasizes that not “feeling hopeful” doesn’t mean you’re broken; rather, hope is a practice, and even she cycles back to dark moments (07:56).
• Nicole: “I wrote a book about confidence... So when I feel insecure, what a fraud I am. It’s not an achievable goal or a state of being. It’s the habits that get you back there faster, better, quicker that we’re talking about here” (09:42).

4. Process Over Pressure

• Trying to feel hopeful (or confident) constantly is both unrealistic and crushing. The key is focusing on process, not outcome (10:06).
• Dr. Garcia: “The process is a process... If we attach our feelings to our identity, we’re on a constant roller coaster. We want to build processes for feelings, not identities” (10:06).

The Five Habits of Hope: Framework & Application

Dr. Garcia introduces each habit, its prompt, and how to practice it in daily life.

1. Reflect (11:45–13:45)

• Habit Prompt: “I am struggling because...”
• Purpose: To identify and name present or past struggles—without judgment or rumination.
• Practice: Take time to pause, become aware of what’s hard, and allow yourself to acknowledge struggle instead of powering through or self-criticizing.
• Quote:
  “When we reflect, we don’t ruminate... We revisit it without staying there.” (Dr. Garcia, 11:45)
• Practical Example: Nicole shares vulnerability about launching her podcast on YouTube, feeling exposed and starting from scratch (18:24).

2. Risk (21:19–23:09)

• Habit Prompt: Take “emotional risks”—admit hard truths, express vulnerabilities, or share something you’re afraid to say.
• Purpose: To deepen real connection and reduce shame or fear’s grip.
• Quote:
  “I originally wanted to call the book ‘Everything I’m Afraid to Say’ because so many things that inspired the book are things people have been terrified to say out loud.” (Dr. Garcia, 21:21)
• Risks are “emotional,” not adrenaline-seeking; it’s about truth-telling and emotional nakedness with others—or even oneself.

3. Release (23:09–25:13)

• Habit Prompt: Let go physically and emotionally—symbolized by unclenching your fists.
• Purpose: To release built-up pressure, perfectionism, or performance stress.
• Practice: Dr. Garcia leads a physical exercise—clenching and releasing fists—to embody letting go.
• Quote:
  “That’s what I see people doing, women in particular, day in and day out—they’re holding so many things. We can do it, but it’s restrictive.” (Dr. Garcia, 24:05)
• Releasing is made easier by risk-taking—i.e., letting go after naming or sharing a struggle.

4. Receive (25:13–29:53)

• Habit Prompt: “I needed...” or “What would support look like for me?”
• Purpose: To accept support and identify help, resources, or community.
• Practice: Asking trusted people for specific types of support, or even reaching out to a larger community (e.g. Nicole asks listeners to support her new YouTube channel).
• Quote:
  “What would support look like or feel like for me?... And that is when your support system, the pillars in your life, start to come into play.” (Dr. Garcia, 25:13)
• Both caution and encouragement are given for sharing with community or broader audiences (28:20).

5. Repurpose (37:40–41:22)

• Habit Prompt: “I am hopeful for...”
• Purpose: To transform negative feelings, like anger or disappointment, into constructive energy or new visions.
• Practice: Seeing feelings (even hard ones) as neutral, and channeling them towards hope or meaningful action.
• Quote:
  “I take feelings, and I no longer look at them as one way. They’re neutral. It’s what I do with them that holds the most value and impact in my life.” (Dr. Garcia, 38:12)
• Repurposing is easier—and more joyful—with help from others; hope rarely happens in isolation.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Hope is what's missing. Sure, we have doom, gloom, shame, blame... But hope? It feels like it's slipping through our fingers.”
  — Nicole (02:09)
• “The process is a process... If we attach our feelings to our identity, we’re on a constant roller coaster. We want to build processes for feelings, not identities.”
  — Dr. Garcia (10:06)
• “When we reflect, we don’t ruminate... We revisit it without staying there.”
  — Dr. Garcia (11:45)
• “I originally wanted to call the book ‘Everything I’m Afraid to Say’... Because so many things that inspired the book are things people have been terrified to say out loud.”
  — Dr. Garcia (21:21)
• “That's what I see women doing, day in and day out—they’re holding so many things. We can do it, but it’s restrictive.”
  — Dr. Garcia (24:05)
• “Nobody accomplishes anything without support and help.”
  — Nicole (42:00)
• “Hope is not naive... Hope requires strength, and it's a practice.”
  — Nicole (43:06)
• “It's the choice to believe in possibility, even when the evidence suggests otherwise.”
  — Nicole (43:21)

Practical Segment Timestamps

• Introduction & Theme: 01:10–03:19
• Dr. Julia Garcia's Hope Backstory: 03:42–06:43
• Distinguishing Hope from Happiness: 06:43–08:35
• The Five Habits of Hope – Overview: 11:45–13:45
• Reflect Practice & Demo: 13:45–18:00
• Risk and Emotional Vulnerability: 21:19–23:09
• Release – Letting Go Exercise: 23:09–25:13
• Receiving Support and Community: 25:13–29:53
• Repurposing Feelings into Hope: 37:40–41:22
• Closing Reflections & Hope as Contagious: 43:06–44:06

Takeaways

• Hope is not passive or naive; it is an active, often difficult, but deeply empowering practice.
• Building hope involves a willingness to reflect, take emotional risks, release what hurts, receive help, and ultimately repurpose pain into constructive vision.
• No one sustains hope alone. Community, trusted friends, and chosen family are vital.
• Courage and hope, when made habits, make you resilient and make others braver, too.

Find & Follow Dr. Julia Garcia

• Book: [The Five Habits of Hope] (available at Bookshop.org, Amazon, and local bookstores)
• Podcast: Journey with Dr. J
• Instagram: Dr. Julia Garcia (link in show notes)
• Website & More: Links in episode show notes

Final Words

“Hope is not naive... It's the choice to believe in possibility, even when the evidence suggests otherwise... When we choose to look for the light, even if, or maybe especially if, we’re surrounded by darkness... Hope becomes an unexplainable force, one that connects us, fuels us, and inspires us. And here’s the thing about hope that we cannot forget: It’s contagious.”
— Nicole & Dr. Garcia, (43:06–43:47)

This is Woman’s Work.