Podcast Title: This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil
Episode: How To Know When It’s Time to Quit with Goli Kalkhoran | 266
Release Date: December 30, 2024
Host: Nicole Kalil, Bleav
Guest: Goli Kalkhoran, Master Certified Life Coach and former attorney

Introduction

In episode 266 of This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil, host Nicole Kalil engages in a profound conversation with Goli Kalkhoran, a master certified life coach and the voice behind the Lessons From a Quitter podcast. Together, they delve into the nuanced topic of knowing when it's time to quit versus when to persevere, particularly emphasizing the modern reinterpretation of "woman's work."

Defining Quitting: Goli's Perspective

Goli Kalkhoran opens the discussion by addressing the complexity of deciding whether to quit or push through challenges. She emphasizes that there isn't a one-size-fits-all answer to this dilemma.

Goli Kalkhoran [04:12]: "It's an impossible question to answer because none of us know how anything's going to turn out... What we can know is what comes before the decision."

Goli underscores the importance of understanding the underlying motivations for quitting, advocating for introspection to discern whether the desire to quit stems from genuine necessity or temporary emotions like exhaustion.

The Reasons Behind Quitting

Nicole and Goli explore the myriad reasons why individuals consider quitting, highlighting both constructive and detrimental motivations.

Nicole Kalil [08:29]: "Anything to add to that before I go on to brilliant point number two?"

Goli Kalkhoran [09:25]: "Society created the standard that, like, longevity is the only measure of success... We have to shift away from this destination addiction."

They discuss societal pressures that equate long-term commitment with success, regardless of personal happiness or fulfillment. Goli encourages listeners to prioritize personal growth and meaningful journeys over mere longevity in various aspects of life, including relationships and careers.

Reframing Quitting

The conversation shifts to redefining the concept of quitting from a negative act to a strategic and empowering choice.

Nicole Kalil [17:10]: "Thank you for saying that, because desire and passion are good enough reasons to do just about anything... How do we think about quitting in a different way?"

Goli Kalkhoran [17:59]: "Quitting is simply just... you can call it evolution, you can be evolving, pivoting. But I choose to call it quitting because I do want to change that."

Goli explains that quitting should be seen as a form of evolution or pivoting towards more aligned and fulfilling paths. This reframing helps dismantle the stigma associated with quitting and promotes it as a choice rooted in self-respect and clarity.

Navigating Judgment and Lack of Support

A significant portion of the episode addresses the challenges of facing judgment and lack of support from others when making the decision to quit.

Goli Kalkhoran [24:11]: "What am I asking from them? Why am I talking to them about this? Is it because I want their support or is it because I want their permission?"

Nicole Kalil [29:04]: "You will be too much for some people. Those aren't your people."

They discuss strategies for handling external judgments, emphasizing the importance of seeking personal clarity over seeking validation or permission from others. Goli advises listeners to solidify their own beliefs and prioritize their happiness over societal or familial expectations.

Quitting in Entrepreneurship

The episode also delves into the specific context of entrepreneurship, where the temptation to quit can be particularly strong due to the inherent challenges and uncertainties.

Goli Kalkhoran [31:37]: "When you make a decision based on the journey... committing to this was about the growth, not necessarily the outcome."

Nicole Kalil [33:52]: "Communicating those time frames to people whose opinions matter... 'Do not let me quit.'"

Goli shares her personal experience with starting her podcast, emphasizing the need for commitment periods (e.g., a year) to properly assess the value of an entrepreneurial venture. She advocates for structured perseverance, arguing that setting time-bound goals can prevent impulsive quitting while still allowing for eventual reevaluation.

Conclusion

Nicole and Goli wrap up the episode by reiterating the empowering message that quitting, when done thoughtfully, is a strategic choice that aligns with one's personal growth and happiness.

Nicole Kalil [35:35]: "Quitting is not the opposite of perseverance. It's the companion to clarity... Trusting yourself with your own time, energy, and happiness."

They encourage listeners to trust their instincts, prioritize self-respect, and recognize that both quitting and persevering have their places in the journey toward a fulfilling life. The episode concludes with a reaffirmation that understanding when to quit is an essential aspect of modern "woman's work."

Key Takeaways

1. Introspection is Crucial: Before deciding to quit, deeply explore the reasons behind the desire to leave. Ensure it's rooted in genuine necessity rather than temporary emotions.

2. Reframe Quitting: View quitting as a strategic pivot towards growth and fulfillment rather than a sign of failure.

3. Handle External Judgments: Prioritize personal clarity over seeking validation or permission from others. Recognize that not everyone will understand or support your decisions.

4. Structured Perseverance in Entrepreneurship: Set time-bound commitments to evaluate entrepreneurial endeavors, allowing for both persistence and flexibility.

5. Embrace Both Quitting and Persevering: Understand that both choices are valid and necessary for personal growth and happiness.

Notable Quotes

• Goli Kalkhoran [04:12]: “What we can know is what comes before the decision.”

• Goli Kalkhoran [09:25]: “We have to shift away from this destination addiction.”

• Nicole Kalil [17:10]: “How do we think about quitting in a different way?”

• Goli Kalkhoran [24:11]: “Is it because I want their support or is it because I want their permission?”

• Nicole Kalil [35:35]: “Quitting is not the opposite of perseverance. It's the companion to clarity.”

Resources Mentioned

• Goli Kalkhoran's Podcast: LessonsFromAQuitter.com – Features tools and inspiration for intentional and fulfilling life pivots.

• Free Masterclass on Quitting: Available on Goli Kalkhoran’s website for listeners seeking deeper insights into the art of quitting.

This episode of This Is Woman's Work offers a compelling exploration of quitting as a mindful and empowering choice. By blending personal anecdotes with actionable advice, Nicole Kalil and Goli Kalkhoran provide listeners with the tools to navigate their own journeys towards authenticity and fulfillment.