The Episode About Balls | Unfiltered & Unhinged - This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil

Summary4 min read

Podcast Summary: "The Episode About Balls | Unfiltered & Unhinged" — This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil

Overview

In this “Unfiltered & Unhinged” solo episode, Nicole Kalil candidly explores the overwhelm, guilt, and messy reality of juggling life’s never-ending responsibilities. Drawing from personal experience, Nicole addresses a recent string of “dropped balls” in her life and unpacks the now-famous metaphor: there are glass balls and rubber balls — and it’s okay to let the rubber ones bounce. The episode is spirited, sharply honest, and laced with Nicole’s trademark humor as she challenges the notion that “woman’s work” means flawless multitasking and unending self-sacrifice.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Overwhelm and the Myth of Perfect Jugglers

Nicole launches directly into how, despite her organizational prowess, she has been “dropping so many balls” lately that she may have set a personal record (01:14).
She highlights the societal pressure for women, especially working mothers and entrepreneurs, to handle everything seamlessly.

“If there’s one thing that I pride myself on, it’s being a master ball juggler… And lately balls are dropping everywhere.” — Nicole (01:24)

2. Real-Life Ball-Dropping Examples

Nicole shares specific, relatable incidents of forgetfulness:
- Losing track of time with an old friend (02:11)
- Missing her dog’s grooming appointment despite confirming it (02:42)
- Forgetting her child JJ’s weekly guitar lesson (03:00)
- General digital overload: follow-ups unsent, conversations blurred between imagination and reality.
These admissions destigmatize “dropping the ball” and create connection with the listener.

3. The Emotional Toll: Guilt and Second-Guessing

Nicole describes her inner monologue questioning her competence: “Am I losing it? Like, what the actual fuck is happening here?” (03:45)
She pokes fun at herself — “I’m the person people hand their balls to. Which, now that I think about it, really should have been my dating profile tagline back in the day.” (04:12)
This self-deprecating humor sets a relatable and forgiving tone.

4. The Glass Balls vs. Rubber Balls Lesson

Nicole introduces a pivotal concept she learned from a female speaker years ago (04:40):
- Glass balls: When dropped, they shatter and are often irreparable.
- Rubber balls: When dropped, they bounce and can be picked up again.
Nicole points out that most women treat every responsibility like it’s made of glass — but most are actually rubber.

“The problem is that most of us treat every ball like it’s made of glass. Every missed email, every scheduling mistake, every dropped detail feels catastrophic. But the truth is, most of the balls that we’re juggling are rubber.” — Nicole (05:12)

5. Reframing Mistakes and Granting Grace

Nicole gives concrete examples: missing lessons or appointments did not cause harm; life continued (05:30–06:00).
She emphasizes accountability, like paying for missed appointments and apologizing, but not catastrophizing mistakes.
The essential shift: Focus energy on “glass balls” (core values, meaningful relationships, health, and work that matters), and let the rubber ones bounce.

“So I’m giving myself grace, trusting that my track record of showing up when it matters most has earned me the benefit of the doubt. And I’m focusing on protecting my glass balls instead of obsessing over the rubber ones.” — Nicole (06:45)

6. Redefining Woman’s Work

Nicole closes by reminding listeners this is a universal experience for women: “Welcome to the shit show that we call being a working woman…” (07:18)
She invites listeners to ask themselves, “Was that ball actually made of glass, or did we just see it bounce?” (07:35)
She toasts the resilience in all women and the wisdom in discerning what really matters.

“Because this messy, imperfect, very human juggling act that we’re all doing, this is woman’s work.” — Nicole (07:45)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“I’m the person people hand their balls to…should have been my dating profile tagline back in the day.” (04:12)
“Most of the balls that we’re juggling are rubber.” (05:15)
“If a few rubber balls have to bounce along the way, that’s fine. That’s what they’re designed to do.” (07:09)
“Let’s take care of those [glass balls] and ourselves. Because this messy, imperfect, very human juggling act that we’re all doing, this is woman’s work.” (07:45)

Timestamps for Important Segments

01:14 — Nicole admits to dropping a record number of balls and shares how this challenges her self-image.
02:11–03:00 — Anecdotes of missed obligations: old friend, dog groomer, daughter’s lesson.
04:40 — Introduction of the glass balls vs. rubber balls metaphor.
05:30 — Applying the metaphor with real-world examples.
06:30 — The importance of grace, self-trust, and prioritizing what matters.
07:45 — Uplifting call to redefine “woman’s work” as a human, imperfect juggling act.

Conclusion

Nicole Kalil delivers a witty, honest, and empowering meditation on letting go of perfectionism, honoring what matters most, and trusting in one’s own resilience. By normalizing mistakes and shifting the narrative around “woman’s work,” she offers both practical wisdom and permission to let some of life’s balls bounce.

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[00:00]
A
As an entrepreneur, one of my biggest learnings has been this there is no magical unicorn person out there who can do everything. And also I don't want a huge team of people to manage. Which puts me in a bit of a pickle because my business spans operations, strategy and analytics, marketing and a wide variety of tech. And no one person is great at all of it. Which is exactly why I've leaned into hiring freelancers. Upwork is a one step platform to find, hire and pay expert freelancers. So instead of trying to force one person to do everything, or worse, doing it all myself, I can bring in the exact expertise I need when I need it. Upwork helps grow your business by giving you fast access to specialized talent across 125 plus categories so you can fill skill gaps, launch projects faster and scale support up or down without committing to full time headcount. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That's Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's up w o r k.com upwork.com. I am Nicole Kahlil and you're listening to the this Is Woman's Work podcast, the Unfiltered and Unhinged Edition. Short Episodes Big Truth Absolutely zero Perfection. All right friend, I gotta tell you, over the last few weeks I have dropped so many balls that I'm pretty sure I've set a new personal record. And listen, this is unsettling for me because if there's one thing that I pride myself on, it's being a master ball juggler. I follow through, I pay attention to details, I show up when I say I will, I have systems, reminders, I have the color coded calendar, the whole deal. And lately balls are dropping everywhere. And sure, I could blame perimenopause, brain fog, a crazy amount of travel, running a business while parenting, or the fact that lately my brain feels like a browser with 47 tabs open. Now it's just doing that spinny thing like it's buffering. Whatever the cause, it it's been a lot. So let me give you a few examples. One of my oldest friends, we're talking like 30 plus years of knowing each other was in town and we made plans to hang out. I didn't forget the plans, but somehow I completely lost track of time and what day it was until she literally pulled into my driveway. And then there was O's dog grooming appointment. It was in my calendar. I absolutely confirmed it and I still completely no showed. And then JJ's guitar lesson. The lesson that happens every single week on the same day at the same time and we missed it entirely. It just like vanished from my brain. And those are just the obvious examples from one week. By the way. There are also follow up emails that I owe the messages that I fully intend to send and then end up getting sidetracked. The the conversations I have with people in my mind and then I can't remember if I actually had them in real life. You know, all the things that I'm normally pretty on top of. So naturally I'm wondering, am I losing it? Like what the actual fuck is happening here? Because I'm not somebody who drops balls. I'm the person people hand their balls to. Which, now that I think about it, really should have been my dating profile tagline back in the day. But that's neither here nor there. Anyways, I hate this feeling. I hate not following through. I hate dropping balls. But there's a lesson that I heard years ago that I keep coming back to. Something that's actually helped me navigate the mess and the guilt. And I wanted to pass it along to you in case you too are currently struggling with your balls. And yes, the totally immature part of me is loving how many times I get to say balls in this episode. But. But anyway, I once heard a woman speak who shared a simple and what turned out to be unforgettable lesson. She basically said that there are two kinds of balls. And I'd argue that there are many kinds of balls, but for the purpose of this lesson, there are two. And these two that we juggle in our day to day lives and they are glass balls and rubber balls. When glass balls drop, they shatter. They break into a million pieces. And cleaning up the mess can be really hard. And most of the time you just can't glue that ball back together. But when rubber balls drop, they bounce. It's no big deal. You pick them back up and you keep on juggling. The problem is that most of us treat every ball like it's made of glass. Every missed email, every scheduling mistake, every dropped detail feels catastrophic. But the truth is, most of the balls that we're juggling are rubber. So yes, I've dropped more balls than I'm comfortable with lately, but the ones that I've dropped have all been rubber. Yeah, sure, J.J. missed a guitar lesson, I apologized, paid for the lesson, and JJ and I talked about what happened and life moved on. I'm pretty confident that this won't come up in some future therapy session of hers and, yes, Ove didn't get groomed, so we gave him a bath. And I paid for the appointment that I missed because nobody should go unpaid for my mistake. And yes, paying for things that we don't use just because I screwed up is super annoying. But guess what? My dog still loves me. And my friend of over 30 years might not have been super impressed that I didn't know what day it was, but we still got to spend time together. And it was so good to see her. Plus, we go way back. I mean, way, way back. So she already knows the best of me. And she has seen way worse. I can assure you of that. And at the end of the day, nothing shattered. No irreparable damage. Just rubber balls. Now, this doesn't mean details don't matter. Of course they do. And I'm tightening up my systems because clearly something is slipping. But what I'm not gonna do is beat myself up like I just screwed something up that I can't recover from. So I'm giving myself grace, trusting that my track record of showing up when it matters most has earned me the benefit of the doubt. And I'm focusing on protecting my glass balls instead of obsessing over the rubber ones. Because the things that matter most, the real glass balls, those are still firmly up in the air. My relationships, my integrity, my family, my health, the work that I care so much about. Those balls are still up in the air, and I am protecting the shit out of them. If a few rubber balls have to bounce along the way, that's fine. That's what they're designed to do. So if you're feeling like you've been dropping balls lately, welcome to the shit show that we call being a working woman. How about we all take a breath and ask ourselves, was that ball actually made of glass, or do we just see it bounce? Because, friend, I know you know this, but not all balls are created equal. So let's let those fuckers bounce. Here's to rubber balls, exercise balls, beach balls, bouncing balls, all the balls. But most importantly, those glass balls. Let's take care of them and ourselves. Because this messy, imperfect, very human juggling act that we're all doing, this is woman's work.
[07:52]
B
Foreign. What do you do when your toddler melts down or your teen shuts down? I want to introduce you to the Mindful Mama podcast. I'm Hunter Clark Fields, author of Raising Good Humans, and your host for the past 10 years. I used to be a yelling, overwhelmed mom until I found mindfulness and practical parenting tools that changed everything. Each week I bring you honest conversations and expert advice to help you regulate your emotions, manage your kids behavior with compassion, and break the cycle of reactive parenting. Whether you're raising toddlers or teens, you'll find real strategies for conscious parenting, screen time, ADHD and more. Listen to the Mindful Mama podcast wherever you get your podcasts because you can raise kind, confident kids without losing your cool.