Podcast Summary — This Is Woman’s Work with Nicole Kalil
Episode 361: “Your Brain Is a Filthy Liar” with Bizzie Gold
Date: November 12, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, host Nicole Kalil welcomes Bizzie Gold—creator of Break Method and author of Your Brain Is a Filthy Liar—to dissect the ways in which our brains deceive us, both to protect and to sabotage. They dive into self-deception, brain pattern mapping, early childhood’s impact, and the actionable science of emotional and behavioral rewiring. This conversation reframes “woman’s work” as the inner labor of reclaiming our minds, burning the old playbook, and forging new pathways to freedom and authenticity.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Our Brains: Masters of Self-Deception

• Nicole opens with the premise that everyone, especially women, battles a critical internal voice—a source of “head trash.”
• Bizzie Gold affirms:

  “Everyone’s brain does lie to them. …somehow we can be our own worst enemy in anything that we do.” (04:39)

• She introduces the idea that, globally, there aren’t 8 billion unique self-deception patterns—only five primary brain pattern types, each with distinct subtypes.

2. Positive vs. Negative Self-Deception

• Bizzie describes two broad categories:
  • Positive self-deception: Minimizing risk, overemphasizing reward (“I’m superwoman, I’ll figure it out!”), often leading to burnout or neglect of self in pursuit of achievement.
  • Negative self-deception: Fixated on risk, minimizing reward (“It’s too risky, things will go wrong”), resulting in missed opportunities and often anxiety or inertia.
  • Quote:

    “There’s always something that you’re borrowing from, and that would be a byproduct of something like a positive self-deception.” (06:05)

3. The Brain Pattern Spectrum: Mapping the Five Types

• Bizzie details a spectrum (visualized as an X-Y axis) mapping the five types from extreme left to extreme right:
  • Left side: More independent, career/purpose-driven, higher self-trust—but at extremes, isolation, paranoia, or PTSD-like vigilance.
  • Center (“Circle of Complacency”): Stable, risk-averse, family-centric—prone to repetitive routines and fulfillment through stability.
  • Right side: Increasing fixation on relational cues, emotionality, assumption/projection, codependency, culminating in nihilism and “nothing matters” dependency.
• Notable insight: The most successful entrepreneurs and leaders typically plot in the center-left quadrant, balancing drive and situational awareness.
  • Quote:

    “Halfway through the left side, we actually have the highest number of entrepreneurs and top 1% of any business setting…center left spectrum is going to be the concentration.” (13:32)

4. Childhood, Trauma, and Origin Stories

• Nicole: “What places us [on the spectrum]? Is it birth? Is it trauma? Is it childhood?” (25:03)
• Bizzie:

  “We are a byproduct of our early childhood repetitive experiences…most likely, your brain pattern was formed by things that are so much more under the radar that you would never really think about them.” (25:15)

• The little, often invisible, repetitive cues in childhood (not necessarily “big” traumas) shape brain patterns—e.g., a parent’s disapproving look can leave a long-lasting imprint.

5. Interpretation & “Gaps in Understanding”

• Children can dramatically misinterpret even trivial events, forming lifelong distortions. Example:

  “A child’s perspective of time is so drastically different from an adult’s that what might have been five seconds...they could be imprinted with the memory of being lost at Disneyland, even though the mom’s like, that never happened.” (30:04)

6. Is Change Possible? Center, Range, and Growth

• Nicole: “If where we’re placed is what it is…I’m assuming the answer is yes, we can move it?” (33:01)
• Bizzie:

  “We want to get you back to the center, but we want to get you back to the center with range. …Have dynamic range so that they can meet other people where they are.” (33:34)

• The goal: understand your own distortions, gain empathy for others’ patterns, achieve adaptability (not “perfection” or just centeredness).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the universality of self-deception:

  “Everyone’s brain does lie to them. …somehow we can be our own worst enemy in anything that we do.” — Bizzie Gold (04:39)

• On the spectrum and the myth of uniqueness:

  “…there aren’t 8 billion unique patterns, there’s only five spread out across 8 billion people…” — Bizzie Gold (04:59)

• On childhood origin:

  “…you are likely much more who you are because of certain facial expressions that your mom gave when you were three and four to express disapproval.” — Bizzie Gold (25:50)

• On memory and misunderstanding:

  “A child could have the experience of being lost at Disneyland when this is the objective reality…” — Bizzie Gold (30:04)

• On the goal of emotional rewiring:

  “We want to get you back to the center, but we want to get you back to the center with range.” — Bizzie Gold (33:34)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:10] — Nicole’s introduction and episode framing
• [04:39] — Bizzie Gold: Are our brains lying to us?
• [08:23] — Overview of the brain pattern spectrum
• [13:32] — Center-left zone: entrepreneurs and top-performers
• [21:14] — “Cowboy position” and nuances on the right-side spectrum
• [25:03] — What determines your placement? Childhood’s subtle impact
• [30:04] — “I Got Lost at Disneyland”: How childhood misinterpretation works
• [33:34] — Change: Moving toward the center with range and empathy

Final Highlights

• Bizzie Gold’s Diagnostic Tool: Available at busygold.com—the brain pattern mapping diagnostic takes about 20 minutes and is applicable individually or for organizations.
• Practical Takeaway: You are not stuck with your original programming; you can “rewrite the code,” gain awareness, and cultivate new patterns.
• Nicole’s closing words:

  “You are not your head trash. …You are not broken. You’re just running on a program that you didn’t install. But now you have access to the tools that can help you rewrite the code. This is the work of rewiring, reclaiming and rising. This is woman’s work.” (37:54)

For more, grab Bizzie Gold’s book, “Your Brain Is a Filthy Liar,” and explore her programs at busygold.com. All resources and links are available in the episode show notes.