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James Corden
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Interviewer/Host
for one year while subscription is active. Hello and welcome to this Life of Mine, the show where we talk about the places, people, possessions, music and memories that have made our incredible guests who they are. Joining me today is a singer, songwriter, producer whose voice and musicianship has won her huge critical acclaim as well as 10 Grammy awards, it could have been such a different story. Aged four, her heart stopped multiple times when she was in a coma after contracting meningitis. When she finally left hospital and her family knew that she was saved for a reason. Perhaps that's why she hasn't only used her voice for singing. Choosing to speak up on multiple issues, using her platform to great effect, and raising millions for her Looking out foundation. Which is why Brandi and her wife are regularly named as women who are changing the world. I'm very, very excited for this show.
James Corden
Are you ready?
Brandi Carlile
I'm ready.
Interviewer/Host
Then take us away.
Brandi Carlile
I'm Brandi Carlisle. Welcome to this life of mine.
Interviewer/Host
Now, Brandi, I need to tell you something. We've done a few episodes of this now and I've never in the history of the time we've been doing this show has anybody had such a profound effect on our team who make the show. So Jeff, who works on the show, I have never seen a man so obsessed with a guest ever. Even now, as you walked in, people are spraying cologne. People are making sure that they. Is this a regular occurrence in your life? Is this the Carlisle effect?
Brandi Carlile
No, I sprayed cologne in the car too. I was just as excited to meet everybody in here.
Interviewer/Host
Imagine if you said I was just as excited to meet Jeff. And I've really got to say something.
Brandi Carlile
All I've been thinking about is Jeff. I get no sleep.
Interviewer/Host
Thanks so much for being here. I'm really excited to talk to you about your life. We've asked you for a person, a place, a possession, a piece of music and a movie. And first up, we're going to talk about a memory. It plays a significant part in your life and your story. Tell us the memory that you've chosen to talk about today.
Brandi Carlile
I chose to talk about an attempt that I made as a teenager to be baptized in the Baptist church that went terribly wrong.
Interviewer/Host
So what happened?
Brandi Carlile
I've always been pretty spiritual, even maybe religious person and you know, quite Jesus y. As you mentioned, I had like a near death experience as a child. So I had a lot of like, you know, faith based conversation and existential insinuation about my life. I was the first grandchild on both sides and I felt very self important as a kid and felt really close to the other side. I felt that the veil had been lifted and I'd had a chance to see beyond it really young. And as I got older and started to realize I was gay, it was really frightening to me because it was just antithetical to everything. That I had learned was virtuous or sort of salvation friendly.
Interviewer/Host
Yeah.
Brandi Carlile
And I'd be lying if I said it didn't embarrass me and smack me in the face a few times. And this is one of those times where I was a teenager. I was going to this church, I loved this church, and my brother was in the church. And we're like only about 11 months apart. We're really, really close, and we sort of did everything together. But we started to find a fork in the road around my sexuality and his faith at this time. And for whatever reason, I felt that some reconciliation to myself, some reconciliation to my brother, to my family, to my small town would be possible if I made this sort of declaration that would get me out of this feeling of isolation and outsiderness. I knew I couldn't change that I was gay. I was out of the closet in school. My hair was about an inch and a half long. I was a total little baby dyke. And I stood off in the middle of church on Sunday and said, yeah, I'd like to be baptized.
Interviewer/Host
And then what happened?
Brandi Carlile
You know, you started going to the pizza lunch once a week and you study the scripture and you hang out with the pastor who knew I was gay the whole time. And yeah, I learned all the rituals, all the right things to say and the right things to wear under my clothes on that day, and planned this day with the pastor for like a week, Invited all my family and friends. Nobody was real comfortable with me being a lesbian, but they accepted me and we just didn't talk about it much.
Interviewer/Host
Right.
Brandi Carlile
So I think the baptism was a welcome reconciliation for all of them, you know, and they kind of came to the church on the day I was going to be baptized alongside this other kid. And the pastor takes us back into the room and he was like breathing quickly, like you could tell that he was really nervous about what was about to happen. I remember thinking, I wonder what's wrong with this guy, you know? And he says, I just have to ask you one question. Do you practice witchcraft or homosexuality? And I laughed. I thought witchcraft was about the weirdest thing that anybody had ever asked me if I practiced before as a 16 year old. And homosexuality just seemed like such a sterile description of who I was. And me and my girlfriend were friends with this pastor and in this community, and he knew everything there was to know. And I said, well, you know, I'm gay. And he said, if you can't denounce witchcraft and homosexuality today, I can't baptize you.
Interviewer/Host
It Feels so cruel to me. It was pretty gnarly to wait until the day.
Brandi Carlile
The moment.
Interviewer/Host
The moment.
Brandi Carlile
Regardless of what happened, I do remember in the aftermath. Not to skip to the final chapter, but I do remember in the aftermath. God was so there in that experience. I think God was more there at my botched baptism than like any baptism you know, of anybody that I know.
Interviewer/Host
Talk to me about that. How do you know that?
Brandi Carlile
I was so embarrassed. I was completely humiliated, you know, So I had to run out of this church like a movie in front of all these people, you know, my aunties and uncles and neighbors. And nobody had ever like, looked at me and said, we accept this about you. You're one of us. Until that day. It was like that happening to me. Gave everyone a villain. And it wasn't my sexuality anymore. Yes, it was my humiliation. They denounced the treatment of me. They denounced the humiliation. My dad became protective and macho and, you know, my mom the same. And the town got angry with the church. And suddenly instead of feeling outside, I was shown acceptance. And it was.
Interviewer/Host
Isn't that funny?
Brandi Carlile
Groundbreaking.
Interviewer/Host
It's amazing that something so humiliating can actually become. Perhaps there would have been people there who maybe never would have accepted you after that.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah. So I just never felt more like I had a. A community.
Interviewer/Host
I want to talk about your book, your memoir, which is a really fantastic read. And one thing I wanted to talk about on the show is your memoir is dedicated to the family of fellow misfits on the island of misfit toys. Anyone who's been rejected by this realm and its interpretation of your faith, but never by your creator. To the repulsed, rejected, reformed, reaffirmed, and the redeemed. Your immeasurable worth precedes you. It's a wonderful thing to write. It's an even more fulfilling thing to read. Do you see yourself as a misfit? And has your success changed your perception of yourself in that way?
Brandi Carlile
I see myself as a misfit, but not in a bitter way. Yeah, just like in a beautiful way, you know, and actually since having this job and getting to know so many other musicians, you know, very few cool musicians, like only in this kind of latter day moment do they ever get called cool for one point in their life. We all just come from very interesting circumstances. And so, yeah, you get all these popular people with this interesting career that all feel somewhat dejected and rejected, which is why I think that we're able to speak to whatever masses we have access to. I just so happen to have access to a kind of People who are navigating cultural issues that even if we deny it, they stain us. The human stain of being queer in this culture and coming up in this way. One thing I feel particularly called to talk about, though, is the burden of hell, trauma and faith on LGBTQIA people.
Interviewer/Host
It's so.
Brandi Carlile
I used to think I was the only one, or at least like maybe a small handful, but then I wrote that damn book you're talking about, and it was like it has been non stop flow of people coming up to me and saying, yes, yes, yes, I feel the exact same way. I have the same dreams, I have the same fears, I have the same moments, and the same things pull me out of them. And I feel really passionate about that conversation, really good about how we talk about it now.
Interviewer/Host
So let's move on to your person and in your teenage years is where you first encountered the person that you're going to tell us about. Yeah, tell us the person you've picked as significant in your life.
Brandi Carlile
I chose Elton John, Right?
Interviewer/Host
Yeah.
Brandi Carlile
I was 11 years old. I was in fifth grade, and I was allowed to pick a book from the library to do my own book report on. And I chose a book about a little boy called Ryan White who had died of AIDS in the early 90s. You remember Ryan White?
Interviewer/Host
Yeah, yeah, I remember this. He's a hemophiliac, right?
Brandi Carlile
Exactly.
Interviewer/Host
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember this. Yeah, yeah.
Brandi Carlile
And he got HIV through a blood transfusion.
Interviewer/Host
Yeah.
Brandi Carlile
And he was amazing. He was in school, and back then, obviously HIV was a death sentence. Nobody knew anything about it. So he was expelled from school. Nobody would, like, touch him or be around him. And, yeah, he was really, really heavily politicized and sort of sought after by the religious right to kind of vilify gay men and create this narrative of HIV and AIDS being a byproduct of there being evil in the world. Even being from rural Indiana, even being a young kid, they totally denounced that as an option for them, fought to get him back in school. And I read this amazing story about this incredible family. And then toward the end of the story, this guy comes into this little boy's life and, like, pays off their house and befriends them and this English chap called Elton John. And he was a musician, and I didn't know his music or anything like that. I only listened to country music. But I remember thinking, wow, this guy's amazing. There was like a picture of him in the book with his little glasses, and I liked him. I liked the way he looked and When Ryan White died, he sang a song at his funeral called Skyline Pigeon. And I was reading the lyrics, and I just couldn't believe what I was reading.
Interviewer/Host
Turn me loose
Brandi Carlile
from your hands Turn me loose from your hands Let me fly Let me fly to distant lands Distant lands
Interviewer/Host
Over green fields, trees and
Brandi Carlile
mountains over green fields, trees and mountains Flowers and forest fountains and I'm just thinking, like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. Like, that was my first experience of poetry. Bernie Taupin.
James Corden
Yeah.
Brandi Carlile
And so I went to the King County Library, and they had a CD with a song on it, and they let me borrow it. And that was when I heard Elton John for the first time. And I devolved into this fantasy world of just worshiping this Elton John character. Every square inch of my walls was covered in Elton John posters. I wrote I love Elton John on my notebooks at school. I had E and J on my shoes. And this was not in the 70s, okay? This wasn't getting me any friends. This is, like, 1993, right? So I was transformed. My worldview was transformed. The way I talked to and interacted with my father was transformed. My music was born, and he became my great, great hero.
Interviewer/Host
And you now have a friendship with Elton Chong, right?
Brandi Carlile
Yeah.
James Corden
Like a proper friendship.
Interviewer/Host
Not really a showbiz friendship. Like a genuine, deep friendship.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah. Like, talk every single day.
Interviewer/Host
You talk every day?
Brandi Carlile
Every day, at least once, sometimes three or four times.
Interviewer/Host
Without fail.
Brandi Carlile
Without fail.
Interviewer/Host
This is insane.
Brandi Carlile
I just, like, went on from that point. I just, like, went on throughout my life. Obviously, I learned to play piano and sing and dress up like Elton John for Halloween. And you just, like. It was way more special to me than it should have been. I feel a little bit like it was almost not like premonition y, but that it did feel mystically connected to my future in some weird way, because through Elton John and, like, biographies I would read and stuff, I didn't divorce country music, but I developed a new appendage, which was that I just really embraced rock and roll and pop music, British pop music mostly. I learned about Queen, George Michael and the Beatles and David Bowie. And it became a new identity that was, like, wrapped up in, like, a whole new me. That led me to start writing songs, but not just writing songs. I was always had one step in activism. I had an awareness of politics, an awareness of charity and philanthropy, even though those are words that didn't really apply till later on because I didn't discover Elton John on the radio. I found his heart first, you know, and then I found his music, which is a weird way.
Interviewer/Host
That is a weird way. It's odd that that would be your first encounter with Elton John.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah. And I canonized him as saint a bit. And I tell you, that's not accurate either. He's so wonderfully flawed, you know, that's
Interviewer/Host
why I love Elton John.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah, me too.
Interviewer/Host
I love Elton John because he somehow has been been able to show us all of him and say, well, here I am.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah, how?
Interviewer/Host
And we go, I'm so happy that you're here. I mean, there are so many people that have stories like this of him touching their lives in an extraordinary way.
Brandi Carlile
Oh my God, I've sat with entire bands that he got sober.
Interviewer/Host
Yeah.
Brandi Carlile
And it's never, you know, I'm sure when Elton John was young he would just buy people cars and shit. It's never like that now. Now it's phone calls and flights to visit and real human connection stuff. You know, Elton asks you questions and then listens to the answer. You meet a lot of celebrities. When does that happen?
Interviewer/Host
Sorry, I switched off. What were you saying? No, I mean, he is.
Brandi Carlile
You know, honestly, I'm kind of proud of my 11 year old wisdom that that's who I chose.
Interviewer/Host
You know what's funny is if he knew right now that we were talking in this way about him, I'm almost certain he'd go, oh, fuck off.
Brandi Carlile
Stop, stop.
Interviewer/Host
Oh, fuck off, Jabber. Not about me.
James Corden
I'll fucking off.
Interviewer/Host
Was it a fucking podcast? Oh, well done. Yeah.
James Corden
Regular listeners of this life of mine will know that really on the show often we talk about great moments in people's lives, whether that's great memories or people that they love or songs, films. But you know, and I know that life isn't always full of just great moments. And we all have times when everything just kind of piles up, whether that's work or family, friendships, relationships, whatever it might be.
Interviewer/Host
And you think?
James Corden
I think I might need to speak to somebody. I've had one of those stretches fairly recently actually. And I'm away from home at the moment. I'm working in New York and I tried to find a therapist online and honestly, it was hopeless. Every therapist I found, they were either fully booked or they were out of network or they were charging prices, which made me think, sorry, does this come with a yacht? And I remember thinking, it really shouldn't be this hard. Affordable, accessible mental health care shouldn't be something that's out of reach. But too often it is. And look, if we use insurance for physical health. Why shouldn't our mental health get the same treatment? And that's exactly why I love what Ruler is doing. Here's the deal with Ruler, most online therapy platforms don't work with insurance at all, which means you'll be stuck paying out of pocket or signing up for some incredibly expensive monthly subscription. But Ruler does it differently. They partner with over 100 insurance plans, which means the average copay is just $15 a session. Unrula doesn't just match you with the first available therapist, they actually take the time to understand your goals and then they will give you a curated list of therapists who are in network and genuinely aligned with what it is that you need. So if you go to ruler.com lifeofmind you can get started today. That's R U L A.com lifeofmind for quality therapy that is cover by insurance. There are no wait lists, no endless emails. Ruler helps you find someone who is available as soon as tomorrow. Because finding the right therapist, well, that could be life changing. Thousands of people are already using Ruler to get affordable, high quality therapy that is actually covered by insurance. So if you visit ruler.comlifeofmind you can get started straight away. And after you sign up, they're gonna ask you how you heard about them. And it would be great if you could support our show and let them know that we sent you. That's r u l a.com lifeofmine you deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget. Right, let's talk about winter. It's freezing, it's dark at about 4:12pm and you've got big goals, right? But somehow you're meant to be meal prepping quinoa at 9 o' clock at night? Absolutely not. That's where factor comes in. Fully prepared meals designed by dietitians, crafted by chefs so you can eat brilliantly without planning, chopping or pretending that you enjoy washing up. Now, my personal favourite at the moment is the high protein creamy Parmesan chicken. It's got lean, juicy chicken, loads of colourful veg, proper whole food ingredients and healthy fats that actually keep you full. There's no refined sugars, no artificial sweeteners or refined seed oils, just real food that fits the let's be sensible this winter mood. It's perfect when I'm trying to stay on track, manage my calories and still feel like I've had a proper, comforting meal. And there's so much variety. There's over 100 rotating meals every week. High protein calorie smart Mediterranean GLP1 support even ready to eat salads. They've even launched Muscle Pro to support strength and recovery, which is incredible. It's like having a tiny little chef who genuinely cares about your goals. Now, the best bit, it's always fresh, it's never frozen, and it's ready in about two minutes. There's no prep, no stress and no excuses. Honestly, it really makes eating well ridiculously easy, even in the middle of winter. Head to factor meals.com lifeofmind50 off to get 50% off and a free breakfast for a year. Eat like a pro this month with
Interviewer/Host
Factor New subscribers only.
James Corden
Varies by plan. One free breakfast per item per box for one year while subscription is active.
Interviewer/Host
I mean, you didn't discover Elton John until you were 11, but you had started singing at this point in your life. You actually started singing when you were very, very young. Your mum was a singer, right?
Brandi Carlile
Yeah.
Interviewer/Host
So what sort of songs would you be singing?
Brandi Carlile
Well, the very first song I ever sang on stage was called Tennessee Flat
Interviewer/Host
Top Box by the little dark haired boy that played the Tennessee flat Top box.
Brandi Carlile
And he would play, which is a song Johnny Cash wrote. And then it was like Tanya Tucker, Just. Tanya Tucker was like the ballsiest I had ever seen. Just like.
Interviewer/Host
I'll be honest here, I don't know who Tangled Tucker is.
Brandi Carlile
Oh, man.
Interviewer/Host
Well, what sort of stuff?
Brandi Carlile
You'll know her by her camel toe.
Interviewer/Host
Okay.
Brandi Carlile
And feathered mullet and very wide stance.
Interviewer/Host
Right.
Brandi Carlile
She's like the toughest cowboy chick in country music.
Interviewer/Host
So how old were you when you were singing these songs?
Brandi Carlile
Eight.
Interviewer/Host
Right?
Brandi Carlile
Nine, ten.
Interviewer/Host
And did you know you were good?
Brandi Carlile
I have always believed that I was very, very good.
Interviewer/Host
Right.
Brandi Carlile
When I. Even when I wasn't at all. And I liked her because she was so. Just so like kind of dykey.
Interviewer/Host
Right.
Brandi Carlile
And honestly, I didn't know why, but I really liked that.
Interviewer/Host
Right, okay.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah. I mean, don't tell her I said she was dyke. I mean, you can tell her I
Interviewer/Host
understand what you mean. She recognized and perhaps. Am I right in sensing different to a lot of other country music stars in that sense?
Brandi Carlile
I think so.
Interviewer/Host
Right.
Brandi Carlile
I asked her one time who her favor female artists were because I was like, perplexed and she just said Elvis. So I was singing a lot at Daniel Tucker. So I was singing these songs. I would bring my songs in on a Wednesday night, teach them to the quote unquote Opry band. And then I do shows on Fridays and Saturdays and school didn't stand a chance.
Interviewer/Host
Right.
Brandi Carlile
I was never Going to finish school.
Interviewer/Host
Well, this really wonderfully brings us to your music selection. And I should tell anybody who's listening to this that really what the guests do when they're on the show is they give us their selections, their picks, a couple of weeks before, and it gives us a chance to curate the show and which order will it go in. And when you spoke to Jeff, who's obsessed with you, you said, I don't know my music selection. You said, I need to go and discuss this with Catherine, and I'll get back to you.
James Corden
And as I sit here right now,
Interviewer/Host
it says, memory being refused, Baptism as a teenager persons. Sir ELTON John. MUSIC TBC. You still, this moment, at this moment, haven't been able to choose a song. As it stands right now, there is no song being chosen. This makes this very exciting for me because I'm very excited to know which song you're gonna give us.
Jeff
What?
Interviewer/Host
Firstly, tell me why this has been so hard.
Brandi Carlile
Because songs are the pivotal moments, the turning points in my life. I remember that the song that goes with my refusal at the baptism is Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley's version, you know, and the song that goes with my love for Elton was Skyline Pigeon. So every song means a big thing in my life. So to find that song as a standalone thing, there are so many, and they are so important that it was really hard for me to kind of, like, narrow down a defining moment. And I didn't want to choose one of my own songs, but I think I did.
Interviewer/Host
So go on, tell us.
Brandi Carlile
I think I'm choosing my song, which is called the Mother, but I think it might almost be equally understood by a father because it's born of being put in a different role than the traditional understanding of a mother. Welcome to the end of being alone Inside your mind you're tethered to another and you worried all the time. You always knew the melody but you never heard it rhyme. But I am the mother of Evangeline. I wrote it because my wife and I, when we got married, she came over from the UK and she left every single thing she knows to come over here and do this crazy thing with me. And I had always thought I was gonna be pregnant and give birth to a child. And it became clear to me as we talked through what this would look like, that it wasn't gonna be me this time. It was gonna be my wife. And so we decided to go this really long route where Evangeline would be my egg and that Katherine would carry. And then the plan was that next time I would carry and it would be cass egg. Didn't happen.
Interviewer/Host
Right.
Brandi Carlile
Thank God. But at the time, there was like a grief that I was dealing with because my wife was carrying my child and it wasn't me. And I couldn't figure out why that felt so weird. I've not been really ever super tied to kind of feminine things or pageantry around weddings or childbirth or any of that kind of stuff. But it's so set up for a certain way for heterosexual people that it's really strange when you're dealing with feeling a little jealous and sad that you're not carrying, you know, in my mind, my own child, but that the whole system is kind of like built around upholding the birth mother and this kind of almost tongue in cheek, like, laughing at dad's vibe.
Jeff
Right.
Brandi Carlile
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Interviewer/Host
Yeah, do.
Brandi Carlile
Like, I would go to the birthing classes or whatever and the things, and they'd get me up in front of the room with all the quote unquote dumb dads and. And laugh at us when we put diapers on the babies backwards and the didn't know how to wear the Baby Bjorns. And I just felt so grief stricken and humiliated. So it was really difficult for me because I was like, squeezed into this heterosexual paradigm. I'm not carrying my own child and then the baby's born and there's this awkwardness of like, yeah, I'm in the room and do I cut the cord? And who am I, you know, in this situation? Because I'm really feeling like a mother, but really getting treated like a father. I just felt awful. And I remember that toward the end of Cath's pregnancy, when I was finally sort of honest with her about how I was feeling, because first of all, she was pregnant, man. Couldn't even touch her toes. She couldn't. She was like, eating tic tacs and just like, feeling terrible. And I couldn't be like, I'm really sad because somebody laughed at the fact that I couldn't put on a baby Bjorn.
Interviewer/Host
She's like, are you sad I'm growing eyelashes inside my stomach. So you're like, no, you're right.
James Corden
But yeah.
Brandi Carlile
So what you're saying, like, just your exact reaction to that is a cultural reaction that we're all set up to accept you set yourself aside for the birth mother.
Interviewer/Host
Well, I think the thing is that you don't necessarily really have a role. So I wish I'd known you earlier because somebody told me this and I did this with all three of my children. And I've told countless people this, and this is my little tip. Whenever a couple or a person falls pregnant, they can't move for people trying to give them advice. And I don't really have any, other than this is my one thing, which I did with all of our children. I've told everyone I know, lay it on me.
Brandi Carlile
I might have another one. You never know.
Interviewer/Host
Well, that last month before a child's born, I think is a really. It's an interesting time as the parent who isn't carrying the child.
James Corden
Yeah.
Interviewer/Host
So I did this thing where about a month before each of our kids were born, I got. And I'd buy this blanket from a nice shop. And every night when I'd get into bed, I would wrap it around my body. And you wake up in the morning, it's down on the floor at the bottom of bed. Whatever.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah.
Interviewer/Host
And then when you go to the hospital, put this little blanket in the bag. And then when you go in and the birth and all these things, the most important thing in the world is when that baby's pulled out, that it's laid on the person that's been carrying that, but it's laid on their skin.
James Corden
Yeah.
Interviewer/Host
The first thing they feel is that skin.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah.
Interviewer/Host
And it's amazing. And you're all crying, and it's covered in cook and stuff, and you're crying, and it's all amazing. And then a little while later, when they clean them up and they take them over and they start to weigh them and all these things, I'd go over and I'd get this blanket and. And I'd say, can you wrap them in this? So the first thing that they ever touched was Julie and my wife. And then the first feeling your baby ever has of being warm and safe in the world smells like you. It's like, this is my little thing.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah.
Interviewer/Host
That I'm gonna do.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah.
Interviewer/Host
Between me and them. And it always was of great comfort to me. And I've told everybody and I've told you, and I've told anyone listening to the. That's a little.
Brandi Carlile
Oh, my God. I love that because I'm with you. Like, I try not to give advice around childbirth and pregnancy and.
James Corden
Yeah.
Brandi Carlile
But that's really good for me. It was like, my voice. I was like. Toward the end of Katherine's pregnancy, I told Catherine I fessed up. She brings in this woman that comes in to our house and starts doing some of those birthing classes with us together. And she, like, did These things, like where she made these ice buckets, and she made us both plunge our arms into these ice buckets and hold them for 90 seconds. And she's like, that's the time of a contraction. And she, like, got me involved, right? And that felt so good. And she said, you have to think of a mantra. If you get to feel like you don't have a role, if you get to feel like you don't know who you are, if you get to feel like the world doesn't have a space for two women to both be mothers, you need to come up with a mantra. And mine was, I'm the mother of Evangeline. I'm the mother of Evangeline. And I just started saying it, and I thought, well, what if I say it at the end of every verse and I just write real feelings, and then I end the real feelings if I am a mother of Evangeline. And so that's when I wrote the mother. And it's stayed my mantra. Still sing it every single night. But I am the mother of Evangeline.
Interviewer/Host
Let's move on to your next selection. And we asked you for a possession. What is the possession that you've chosen for us to talk about on the show?
Brandi Carlile
The possession I've chosen to talk to you about is my log cabin. I've lived in the same log cabin for 22 years.
Interviewer/Host
And where is this log cabin?
Brandi Carlile
It's in the Cascade Mountain foothills, about an hour outside of Seattle.
Interviewer/Host
So when did you buy this log cabin?
Brandi Carlile
Right away when I was 21. And I've never moved, and I never will move most of my time that I've lived there. You know, it started out really rustic and has turned since into a very, very nice log cabin, but it's still the same log cabin. And it was my first taste of no one can make me leave. I used to pick houses on the school bus. I'd sit on the school bus and I'd go, if I could just live in that house. I want to live in that house. I want to live in that house. They're basic houses, little cottages, you know, with a pond in the yard, or there'd be some idyllic thing. And I had this, like, snow globe fantasy of a little square log cabin with a creek going through the yard, like a Kincaid painting. When I saw that cabin, I knew that was it. That was my house. And it's been my house ever since and always will be my house. And for the first 15 years I lived there, only heated it with a Wood stove. My wife finally made me get rid of that wood stove two years ago. Wow. And it's been a ritual. My house is like a ritual to me. It's my one thing that I fault myself for being materialistic and possessive about.
Interviewer/Host
You built quite a lot of the house yourself, right?
Brandi Carlile
Yeah, we ripped a hole in the wall and we built an addition because we actually. It's a small cabin, so we actually needed a nursery. And I learned how to do finished carpentry. And, you know, I just have poured a lot of my artistry into it, which is interesting, actually. If you've ever been to Joni Mitchell's
Interviewer/Host
house, you have not had the invite. Brandy, carry on, please.
Brandi Carlile
You need to come to a jam.
Interviewer/Host
Well, I lived in Los Angeles for eight and a half years. A lot of people used to say, oh, going up to Joanie's, I think, well, fucking hell, what am I going to do to get an invite up there? No, carry on.
Brandi Carlile
Hit up your girl.
Interviewer/Host
I'm joking.
Brandi Carlile
Well, the inside of her house is hand painted. The beams and the cabinets and her doors. And it's like it's not a house anymore after that. And that's why I did that work on the inside of my house. It's not perfect. It's laughable. Anytime anybody comes over and, like, understands construction, I die. I don't want them to see it, but it's a thing I have. And I feel like that's a unique thing about someone whose career has done what mine's done. And I've had the privilege to enjoy this success, especially this recent success, you know, but sort of stubbornly staying in this lifestyle or zone.
Interviewer/Host
But this makes complete sense to me. Knowing the circumstances of your upbringing.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah.
Interviewer/Host
It seems pretty obvious to me that I'm not gonna go to school, I'm not gonna do these things. Oh, my God. Music. Oh, I can do this. Writing songs and then 21. First bit of money, I will buy a house and I will tell everybody, everybody, that I will never leave this house.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah.
Interviewer/Host
It's like on some level, you must have been searching for some kind of foundation to put roots somewhere and go, well, I know who I am. Yeah, you've always known who you are. Really?
Brandi Carlile
Yeah.
Interviewer/Host
And this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna lay down these roots and this is where I'll be and I will never leave. We're having a child. Fine. I'll build a shoddy extension to this with my own, you know, nails and hammer. It makes complete sense to me.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah. Yeah, that's what happened.
Interviewer/Host
Let's move on to your next selection. We asked you to pick a movie. I will say there was a lot of talk amongst us here at this Life of mine about what movie you might pick. And I will say a couple of people made this. Guess they got it right.
Brandi Carlile
What?
Interviewer/Host
I know.
Brandi Carlile
Jeff. It was Jeff.
Interviewer/Host
It's Jeff.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah.
Interviewer/Host
Tell us the film.
Brandi Carlile
I've chosen the film. The Never Ending Story. I think it's like 1984. My grandma showed it to me when I was probably a little too young to see it. That horse drown in the swamp. But don't let that turn you off. It's an amazing 80s movie. Right up there with Goonies and Labyrinth and all the best things ever. I have loved its mysticism and cheese and darkness since I was such a little girl. It's informed so much of my aesthetic in the way that I think that it's just. It'll always be my favorite movie. I actually, in fact, have the R and tattooed on both of my shoulders.
Interviewer/Host
You have the character.
Brandi Carlile
The Arryn is like. Let me show you just the. You see it?
Interviewer/Host
Oh, there you go.
James Corden
Yes, I see.
Interviewer/Host
Okay.
Brandi Carlile
The Arryn is like a snake symbol that the character Atreyu wears because. Okay, so there's a boy called Bastian, and he is despairing, and he goes into a bookshop. And the man that owns the bookshop discourages him from buying this book. But the discouragement is meant for him to actually take it. The man wants him to take this book.
Jeff
Have you ever been Captain Nemo trapped inside your submarine while the giant squid is attacking you?
Brandi Carlile
Yes.
Jeff
Weren't you afraid you couldn't escape?
Brandi Carlile
But it's only a story.
Jeff
That's what I'm talking about. The ones you read are safe.
Brandi Carlile
And that one isn't.
Jeff
Don't worry about it.
Brandi Carlile
But. But you just said it was.
Jeff
Forget about it. This book is not for you.
Brandi Carlile
So the boy waits till the man's not looking, and he steals the book. And he runs to his school and he goes upstairs in the attic and he starts reading this book, only to discover that he's in it. That the book is speaking to him and is for him, and that he is some sort of protagonist in this story. In the story, there's a thing called the Nothing which is sweeping across the land. And the land is called Fantasia. And I think it represents, like, the imagination, the sanctity of the human mind's ability to create its own reality. And the Nothing is what's infringing upon that all the things that could infringe upon it. We have our own set of things now, you know, mostly the computer we carry around in our pocket. And there's a hero in the story, this boy, Atreyu. And he hunts the purple buffalo and he gets this charm put around his neck called the Aron that when the Nothing comes near, it lights up and it protects him. He inevitably saves Fantasia and the Nothing doesn't take over and the boy's imagination is preserved and the horse that dies in the swamp comes back to life in the end. But the thing about the Never Any Story that's so great to me is, first of all, the music is amazing because Giorgio Moroder did it.
Interviewer/Host
My writing thing is da da da da da da da da. That's right, isn't it?
Brandi Carlile
The Never Ending Story. Yes. I got the orin tattooed on my shoulders because I love the idea of this kind of symmetrical protection of my imagination from the Nothing.
Interviewer/Host
It does also bring up what I consider to be the most hilarious movie title of all time, which is the Neverending Story, Part Two.
Brandi Carlile
We don't talk about that one, which is.
Interviewer/Host
Or three. It's amazing that there's no. No, it's a Never ending Story, Part 2. It's so. It'll never not be funny to me. But it's not just you who's really, really into the Neverending Story. Your bandmates, Tim.
Brandi Carlile
It's a cult thing, Phil.
Interviewer/Host
They also have the tattoo.
James Corden
Yeah, yeah.
Interviewer/Host
Lots of bands, when you hear them speak about each other, they say, oh, we're like a family. But I feel in your case, dude, it really, really is the case.
Brandi Carlile
We're siblings. We've been together for 20 something years. They moved me into that cabin. They both lived with me at different times. I was the first person to live on five acres out there all those years ago. And slowly they've bought the adjacent land and they live there now. And we live with more family, more band members and stuff like that. About 112 acres out there in the foothills. And we do everything together. We do our holidays together. And when we are with each other in the rehab facilities, when one of us hits the skids, we are in the hospital together. We are in the shit together. You know, I don't think there's any other band in the world like us. We're very weird, very dysfunctional and very in love with each other or unconditionally, forever.
Interviewer/Host
So beautiful to hear and weird. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the last. I want to Say, the last five, six years of your career have been pretty extraordinary. Have you felt a change? Has it felt different?
Brandi Carlile
We weren't famous before. We really didn't have enough money to write home about. We were doing great. I mean, you hear about bands like ours, you know, on social media, or sometimes we get a little print press or we'll screen time, and it looks good. It looks, like, great. You know, this band's doing real good. Look at them. But, like, until the Grammys and that song of ours, the Joke, we were just a struggling band.
Interviewer/Host
Talk to me about that performance. When you walked out, it really was quite extraordinary.
Brandi Carlile
I knew the minute the song ended, like, and I watch it now and then, too, because it was such a turning point in my life. Like, when I watch myself and at the end of the song, and I didn't even know I did this in real time, but. And I start jumping up and down and I'm like, oh, it's like I glimpsed the next six years of my life or something right in that second. Because it really did change my life and our lives. Like, you know, I'm not putting it all on that moment, but it was about being ready, you know, I just was like, put me in, coach. This is my chance.
Interviewer/Host
We've got one more selection to go to, and I think this really ties up your story in a. In a really perfect way. Tell us the place that you've chosen to talk about on the show today.
Brandi Carlile
I've chosen to talk about a place called Neah Bay.
Interviewer/Host
Where is Nia Bay?
Brandi Carlile
Neah Bay is the northernmost tip of the United States on the West Coast. It's on the Straits of Juan de Fuca, right across from Vancouver Island.
Interviewer/Host
Why is it so important to you?
Brandi Carlile
It's the Makah Indian Reservation, and I've been going there since I was 6 or 7 with my dad and brother to go fishing. I'm really. We haven't talked enough about fishing today. Fishing is, like, a huge part of my life. It's probably my favorite thing to do, and it's my meditative state. So we've been going here every year since I was a little kid. And I'm actually going day after tomorrow.
Interviewer/Host
Right. Cause you go with a big group down there, Right. Traditionally, once a year. Is that right?
Brandi Carlile
Yeah. I think this year we might be looking at 30 or 40 people.
Interviewer/Host
Wow.
Brandi Carlile
It's always been this place where it's like. This place is like the great equalizer of our family, no matter what we believe or who we are. Where we come from whether we have a little bit of money, whether we don't have a little bit of money. When we're on the Makah reservation, we're all the same. It doesn't really matter that I come back to work and it means that I'm gonna fly to LA and hang out with James Cordon on a podcast or whether or not I'm gonna go roll underneath a bus like my Uncle Eric and be a mechanic. It's the place where we all go to just check in with our sort of Carlisle ness one time and then go back out into the world and be who we are, you know, for better or worse.
Interviewer/Host
Have you ever inv. Elton. Right now I'm just loving the idea. So, of Elton John, head to toe in Gucci, talking to your uncle. Is it Ernie? Did you say Uncle Eric?
Brandi Carlile
Yeah.
Interviewer/Host
Trying to catch a fish. Yeah.
James Corden
I'm done with this.
Brandi Carlile
Off. I will tell you, Elton, he is butchering. He is more butch than my father, which is something I didn't know when I was 11 years old. He's more masculine, more rugged, more blokey, David calls him than most people.
Interviewer/Host
Oh, yeah. He loves his football.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah. So he could handle Nia Bay. I think on some level, throughout this
Interviewer/Host
whole show, I think my main feeling has been like, oh, my God, this person, this artist whose work means so much to me and so many. The grounded nature in you is incredibly inspiring. This fishing trip in Near Bay is a great example of that. The need and the want to constantly check in with who you are. That's what it is outside of all of it.
Brandi Carlile
Yeah. Because it only makes you enjoy it more. If you can see how far you've come or what the distance is between wanting a dream and having a dream, then you can always relive achieving it. But if you just stay here, if you stay at the dream, you don't really get to enjoy it.
Interviewer/Host
That is a wonderful way to end this show. Brandi Carlisle, your memory was being refused baptism as a teenager. Your person is Sir Elton John. Your music is mother and everything that it means to you by you. Brandy Carlisle, your possession is your house in Washington State. Your movie, the Never Ending Story. And your place is near Bay on the Makar reservation. Thank you so much for sharing this life of yours.
Brandi Carlile
Thanks for having me, man.
Interviewer/Host
Up next is this.
Yuval Noah Harari
I'm Yuval no Harari. And welcome to this life of mine. Safer Prayer by Durand Duran. I saw there the video on Israeli television. And when I tried to look back, when was the first time in my life I saw an image of the Buddha or of Buddhist monks.
Brandi Carlile
Ah.
Yuval Noah Harari
It was in Duran Duran's Safe of Prayer. We are basically carbon animals in a silicon world. And now more and more of the systems in the world, they are run by these inorganic silicon entities, and they increasingly expect us to adapt to them. When I wake up, the first thing I do, I meditate for one hour and then I'll go and take out my morning porridge pot and I make porridge. And it's been with me for, I think, at least 10 years. And it's such an insignificant possession.
Interviewer/Host
This is a part you take on the road with Yami. Or so you try.
Yuval Noah Harari
No, no, no, no, no, don't. I don't go to extreme. This would be bizarre.
James Corden
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Host: James Corden (Lemonada Media)
Guest: Brandi Carlile
Release Date: January 27, 2026
This episode features Grammy-winning singer-songwriter and activist Brandi Carlile, as she joins James Corden for an in-depth reflection on the pivotal people, places, possessions, music, and moments that have shaped her remarkable life and career. The conversation weaves through Brandi's upbringing, her challenges and triumphs as a queer artist, her deep personal relationships, her sources of creativity and grounding, and the central role of family, community, and advocacy in her journey.
Closing Reflection:
Brandi Carlile’s episode of This Life of Mine offers an expansive, moving look at what it means to find your people and your place, build family and home on your own terms, and use your voice—both literally and figuratively—to forge belonging from adversity. It is a portrait of an artist whose life, music, and advocacy are rooted in authenticity, resilience, and the power of community.