Minnie Driver

Summary

Summary: This Life of Mine with James Corden – Minnie Driver (January 20, 2026, Lemonada Media)

Episode Overview

In this episode of This Life of Mine, host James Corden sits down with acclaimed British actor, musician, and author Minnie Driver. The conversation takes listeners through the formative people, places, possessions, memories, music, and movies that have shaped her life and career. Driver opens up with candor and warmth, sharing reflections on regret, reinvention, creativity, heartbreak, healing, motherhood, and finding joy. The episode is a rich dive into the personal and artistic journey of a celebrated performer who has found peace and purpose in unlikely places.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

On Reflecting and Revisiting the Past

• Minnie shares how her relationship with reflection shifted after having her son and beginning a new partnership. Feeling stable in the present allows her to look back without being consumed by regret.
  • “My rear view mirror was full of regret before I had my son… Once you’re stable in your now, you can look back and not feel like it’s going to consume you.” (04:30–04:58, Minnie Driver)
• James agrees: “You can’t be comfortable looking back unless you’re comfortable now.” (04:58–05:02, James School)

Music: "Tidal Wave" by Bomb the Bass ([05:11])

• Minnie selects a song she co-wrote under the pseudonym “River” at 17, representing her youthful drive and artistry.
  • “When I listened to that song, I hear everything that I wanted. I was just trying stuff out… so guileless… just having a go with these really talented producers.” (05:22–06:17, Minnie Driver)
• She recounts her early years in the pre–Massive Attack, West London music scene, being signed to Island Records, and how a fortuitous meeting led to her collaboration with Bomb the Bass.
• Minnie describes the transition from music to acting and how industry mentors (or lack thereof) influenced her path and residual “what-ifs.”
  • “I wish I’d taken that [music] deal… but I didn’t. And that’s also cool… I’m not very good at being famous… Always said the wrong fucking thing.” (10:26–11:33, Minnie Driver)
• Notable moment: James observes Minnie is the first guest to pick a piece of music they were involved in.

Film: "Grosse Pointe Blank" ([12:13])

• Minnie explains why she chose this film, highlighting its creative process as a turning point in her career.
  • “If you make art... choosing a film that also was such a revolutionary moment feels pertinent, not just narcissistic.” (12:16–12:33, Minnie Driver)
• She describes the improvisational, collaborative ethos of John Cusack’s creative troupe and how this energy made the film a unique, “runaway train” experience that she’s never quite matched.
  • “There was this immediacy and p about the way in which we were doing it. It felt like we were gonna go up in flames every single day. But we didn’t.” (15:13–15:48, Minnie Driver)
• The transition to awards season and starring roles brought fame and anxiety as she became “the hot commodity.”
  • “It was predicated on fear as opposed to enjoyment and revelry… it became terrifying.” (16:19–17:01, Minnie Driver)
• Minnie discusses her pivot to television in order to provide stability for her son after becoming a single parent, reflecting on how this necessity redefined her relationship to her career.

Memory: Not Getting to Sing at the Oscars ([23:26])

• Minnie recalls being set to perform “Learn to Be Lonely” (from Phantom of the Opera) at the Academy Awards before being replaced by Beyoncé and Antonio Banderas at the last minute:
  • “I was so invested. I felt like this was my song, this was my movie… how can you sort of have this taken away?” (23:50–24:43, Minnie Driver)
• A cathartic trip to Costa Rica with a friend ends with them mistakenly dropped in the Panamanian jungle, leading to a realization about letting go of disappointment and reconsidering her relationship to fame and validation.
  • “I just made a decision: I’m absolutely 1000% done with allowing an industry or an idea… to rule my mental health.” (26:47–27:16, Minnie Driver)

Possession: Her Mobile Home in Malibu ([28:11])

• Minnie’s most treasured possession is her impermanent beachfront mobile home, which represents sanctuary, resilience, and a break from material attachment.
  • “It is so perfectly impermanent. It’s a fantastic metaphor but also an absolute sanctuary.” (28:11–28:41, Minnie Driver)
• She recounts surviving the 2018 Woolsey fires thanks to ten neighbors (including retired firemen) who saved the community’s homes, underscoring the power of community and luck.
• The mobile home became a place of healing and transformation for Minnie and her family.

On Love and New Beginnings ([31:08])

• Minnie explains how the fires indirectly led her to meet her partner Addison—through a daring, “sea-based incursion” to deliver aid to neighbors.
  • “This guy shows up—a satellite phone and a bomb-proof case and snacks… He got in the boat with me and did indeed get chased by an armed coast guard.” (33:24–33:48, Minnie Driver)
• Their partnership grew out of this adventure, with Addison providing steady support and companionship.

Place: Her Surf Spot in Malibu ([34:38])

• The point where Minnie surfs is her spiritual center: a place of endless wonder and grounding.
  • “It never fails to astonish me how different it is, even though I’ve walked it a million times… It is never anything except new and beautiful and satisfying and immense.” (34:38–35:29, Minnie Driver)
• Since moving back to the UK, she seeks new water-based rituals and surfing spots in Europe to preserve this sense of wellbeing.

On Returning to the UK and Grief ([36:06])

• Minnie moved back for her son Henry during the pandemic and ended up staying after her mother’s death.
• She describes feelings of displacement, grief, and rediscovery:
  • “Did my whole adult life not happen?... I wrote this book and that helped heal lots of things.” (38:15–39:01, Minnie Driver)

Person: Her Son, Henry ([39:28])

• The most important person in Minnie’s life is her son. Becoming a mother radically shifted her worldview and priorities.
  • “Henry is the most interesting person I know, and he is almost certainly the funniest.” (39:33–39:41, Minnie Driver)
• She discusses single motherhood, fear and resilience, and how Henry “changed the way I looked at my whole life.”
  • “There was something about the expansion of love that I just didn’t think was possible… I thank him all the time for who he turned me into…” (41:34–42:19, Minnie Driver)
• Reflects on learning to balance creativity with life, presence, and letting herself thrive for Henry’s sake.

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Notable Quotes

• On Self-Acceptance and the Past:
  • “Once you’re stable in your now, you can look back and not feel like it’s going to consume you.” — Minnie Driver (04:51)
• On Early Music Dreams:
  • “I was just having a go with these really talented producers and really thinking that I could will this into happening.” — Minnie Driver (05:22)
• On a Defining Movie Experience:
  • “It was a revolution of the way in which you make films… it was like a runaway train. It was amazing.” — Minnie Driver (15:12)
• On Missing Out at the Oscars:
  • “I’m absolutely 1000% done with allowing an industry or an idea or anything that I make to sort of rule my mental health.” — Minnie Driver (26:47)
• On Her Malibu Sanctuary:
  • “It is so perfectly impermanent. It’s a fantastic metaphor but also an absolute sanctuary.” — Minnie Driver (28:11)
• On Her Son Henry:
  • “He changed the way that I looked at my whole life... I thank him all the time for who he turned me into.” — Minnie Driver (41:32–42:19)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [04:30] – Shifting relationship with the past and regrets.
• [05:22] – Music: "Tidal Wave," early music career and industry lessons.
• [12:13] – Movie: Grosse Pointe Blank, creative collaboration and improvisation.
• [16:19] – Pressures of fame and career transitions.
• [23:26] – Memory: Being dropped from performing at the Oscars.
• [26:47] – Turning point in prioritizing mental health.
• [28:11] – Possession: The Malibu mobile home, community and recovery story.
• [31:08] – Meeting partner Addison and the adventure after the fires.
• [34:38] – Place: Her Malibu surf spot, sense of home and belonging.
• [39:28] – Person: Her son Henry, motherhood and transformation.

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Memorable Moments

• Minnie’s retelling of being replaced by Beyoncé at the Oscars (23:50–24:43)
• Hilarious and daring account of “sea-based incursion” to deliver supplies during Malibu wildfires (31:15–33:48)
• Describing her love affair with surfing and the solace of the ocean (34:38–35:29)
• The emotional story of giving birth, single motherhood, and her bond with Henry (39:28–43:29)

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Tone

The episode strikes a warm, vulnerable, and conversational tone—marked by Minnie Driver’s dry wit, honesty, and self-awareness, along with James Corden’s empathetic and gently humorous hosting style.

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This Life of Mine with Minnie Driver offers a profound and entertaining exploration of the journeys—personal and professional—that shape a life. Listeners will come away with a deeper understanding of Driver’s humanity, struggles, and the joyful, imperfect path to self-acceptance and fulfillment.

Transcript

[James Corden]

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[James School]

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[James Corden]

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[Minnie Driver]

Lemonade.

[James Corden]

You can listen to every episode of this Life of Mine ad free with Lemonada Premium you'll get access to a quick fire round of questions with this week's guest. And I mean quickfire really quick. Like two minutes or less. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or head to lemonade premium.com to subscribe on any other app. That's lemonade premium.com.

[James School]

Hello and welcome to this Life of Mine, the show where our guests pick the places People, possessions, music and memories that have made them happy.

[James Corden]

Who they are.

[James School]

My guest today is an Oscar, Emmy, and Golden Globe nominated British actor who first appeared on our screens in 90s classics such as Circle of Friends, Sleepers and Good Will Hunting. She is also an incredible author, releasing her excellent memoir, managing expectations in 2022. She also has, and I should say this to you, dear podcast listener, a brilliant podcast called Mini Questions. She's had incredible guests and you should go and check it out. Courtney Cox, Debbie Harry, Cindy Crawford, to name but a few. She is a wonderful guest. I used to love it every time she came by my last show and I'm thrilled she's here at this show.

[James Corden]

Are you ready?

[Minnie Driver]

I'm ready.

[James School]

Then take us away.

[Minnie Driver]

I am Minnie Driver. Welcome to this life of mine.

[James School]

How are you?

[Minnie Driver]

I'm all right.

[James School]

Good, yeah. I'm so happy to see you.

[Minnie Driver]

I know. It's very nice to see you.

[James School]

I feel like you're a perfect guest for this show because you seem very comfortable looking back at your life. Is that a fair assessment?

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah.

[James School]

Is that since the memoir or have you always been good at sort of having a rear view mirror?

[Minnie Driver]

I think my rear view mirror was full of regret before I had my son and I think after my son and then since the advent of my lovely relationship with my boyfriend, I enjoy looking back because I really enjoy now.

[James School]

Yes.

[Minnie Driver]

And I think once you're stable in your now, you can look back and not feel like it's going to consume you.

[James School]

That's exactly right. You can't be comfortable looking back unless you're comfortable now.

[Minnie Driver]

Exactly.

[James School]

I'd never even thought of that before.

[Minnie Driver]

That's why I came on your show, James School.

[James School]

Give me these glorious snippets of wisdom.

[Minnie Driver]

Drop some wisdom bombs.

[James School]

Well, we've asked you to pick a person, a possession place, memory movie, and a piece of music. We're gonna start with your piece of music. What have you chosen to share with us today?

[Minnie Driver]

I've chosen the song Tidal Wave by Bomb the Bass, which is from their 1995 album Clear, even though it is credited to a songwriter called River. That is actually me. When I was 17, I was trying to figure out where I was going and like, when I listened to that song, I hear everything that I wanted. Like, I was just trying stuff out and it's so guileless in a way. I was just trying. I was just having a go with these really talented producers and really thinking that I could will this into happening. Was it the tide of wave of love or Sexual rain Down from above Was it the tide of wave alone?

[James School]

I think you are the first person to choose a piece of music that they're involved in. But I do understand why. How did you. Now, so tell me about this. Your rifle. But you're in a different band.

[Minnie Driver]

So music was what I always wanted to do. I mean, I was always acting, but music was really the thing. And I was in this band that didn't even really have a name. When we got signed to island in Island Records, we got signed to Island Records with a development deal. Atticus Ross and his brother Milo Ross and this other guy called Adam and me. And it was kind of a pre Massive Attack. It was that kind of vibe. It was really cool. I mean, you listen to ATS music now. He writes with Trent Reznor and, like.

[James School]

They'Ve won all kinds of nails.

[Minnie Driver]

Exactly. Like, that's what he went on to do. But this was very sort of proto West London. Like, it was such an incredibly vibey, amazing time. And we were making this record and all the money just disappeared and we never really finished a record and it was kind of a disaster. But there was this particularly wonderful man called Sean Oliver. I don't know why, but he took a liking to me and, like, believed in me as a songwriter. And once we got dropped by island, he was helping me get another deal. And he introduced me to Tim Simonon, who was again, sort of around and DJing and was this cool producer. And Tim was like, yeah, we should do a track together. And so we did this track, Tidal Wave. And, you know, it's so funny, like, listening to it, because it's. The music is timeless. Like, that record is so cool. Like, everyone should go and check it out because Nena Cherry did a vocal on a track. Like, it's really cool.

[James School]

You were sort of in that 90s British kind of rave scene.

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah.

[James School]

Did you get an acting job or someone said, oh, you should come and audition for this project?

[Minnie Driver]

It was. I didn't really do all the drugs with everybody else. I was always driving the car. And there was another girl who was also sort of sober. And we'd invariably meet at the end of these mad raves. Up the A40.

[James School]

Right.

[Minnie Driver]

With all of the casualties.

[James School]

Up the A40 is not a club. It's not a euphemism. It's not a euphemism for anything. It's a motorway. It's what you would call a freeway. It's a bit like saying, I met her up the 101, you know, which Then also for British listeners is also also not a euphemism.

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah, that's exactly correct. And I partied all summer with this girl. She was so lovely. And we never really talked about. I don't know what we talked about life and what we wanted to do and all this other stuff. And then eventually, at the end of the summer, I think I wrote in the book, you could feel September bench pressing in the parking lot, like, waiting for the calendar to tick over. And, like, partying's over. Now. You gotta face up to the fact that you got no job, you're not an actor, you're not a musician, you're not actually getting paid to do anything. What the fuck are you gonna do? And this girl was like, so what do you do? And I was like, I don't know. I'm trying to do this, trying to do that. She went, oh, I work for a casting director. You should come and meet her. Come on Monday. And it was now, you know, 7am on Sunday morning up the A40. And so I did. And this amazing casting director, Leo Davis, I don't know what she thought I was, but on a. Sort of rumbled into her offices off the Portobello Road and was like, hi. And I guess she thought I was funny. And she called her friend who was an agent, who said, yeah, no, we saw her in her showcase at drama school. She's rubbish. And the casting director was like, no, no, no, no, no, seriously, I think she's all right. I think you should meet her. So then I got this lovely agent.

[James School]

But you got a job pretty fast, right?

[Minnie Driver]

Well, she said, I'll take you on and if you get a job in a month, then I'll keep you on the books. I got a play at the Oldham Coliseum up north, and it was really exciting. I did that and then I started doing telly. And then I was carrying on doing the music, trying to get that going.

[James School]

And were you acting in a sense, where you were going, well, I'm doing this, but music's still my passion.

[James Corden]

Has that ever changed?

[Minnie Driver]

Actually, you know, no. I had this moment right after Good Will Hunting it, so it was probably, like, in 98. And I went and had this big meeting with Tommy Mottola, big head of Sony.

[James School]

He, like, found Mariah Carey and all these huge artists.

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah, amazing. He'd heard stuff that I'd done and I was sitting in front of him and he was like, yeah, we've got Jennifer Lopez. She's gonna be the Latina crossover, and you're gonna be the New Sheryl Crowe. It's gonna be great. I was like, excellent. I was like, and I'll. You know, I'll write everything. And he was like, no, no, no. And I wish someone had just said, do you know what? You're all right with your writing? Like, your writing's gonna be there, mate. Just make three records. Just go and make records with them. Just go do it and then write. And then write. Yeah, but I didn't have that kind of managerial mentorship, sadly. I didn't have anyone standing over my shoulder going, I promise you, it's a just do this deal and just go do this. I don't really have many regrets, but I wish I'd taken that deal and gotten to a place where I could then just write music and do my thing. But I didn't. And that's also cool. It went on. I don't think it went on. It was a totally different. I'm not. I'm not very good at being famous. I wasn't comfortable. I didn't know how to do it. I always said the wrong fucking thing and was too much the boy pointing the finger in the emperor's new clothes to really, like, be okay.

[James School]

Something I've really lived my life by is just this notion of, well, I'd rather regret doing something than not doing something. If you. You can go, well, I know why I did it, and I did this, and at least I did it, you know.

[Minnie Driver]

Absolutely, absolutely.

[James School]

Your career is extraordinary. Like, I think you were one of the first people that I can remember seeing going, no, look, she's gone to America. And look, it's just an absolute triumph. And we're going to talk about that now. Let's move on to your film choice, your movie. And. And you've once more picked one of your own productions. And it is brilliant. Tell us the film that you want to talk about.

[Minnie Driver]

The film is Grosse point blank brilliant.

[James School]

Film, by the way.

[Minnie Driver]

The thing is, if you make art, we all know there's a million and one things that we could choose to talk about. But if you're talking about my life and I'm an actor, choosing a film that also was such a revolutionary moment feels pertinent, not just narcissistic. It's.

[James School]

Sure, it's.

[Minnie Driver]

That was. I'd never made art the way that Cusack set it up to be made in that. He come from Chicago with this amazing troupe of actors. He'd had a theater company there called New Crime, and they all just transplanted to Los Angeles, and he had this amazing sort of like studio loft space in Venice with like a half basketball court inside. And it was this place of mad creativity and basketball and music and best joke wins and writing things and talking about what we're making and, you know, just a very regular audition as an actor. I got sort of vaulted into this because I read with Cusack and we had this massive connection. And then he said, well, you should just come and hang out and, like, we should see what's up. Which I did. And what I realized was the way that they make things is like, it is this moving creative train. And if you want to jump on board and make stuff, then do that and be willing. And I was. So now we're making this film and the script isn't really that good. And everyone knows the script isn't really that good. Really. It's kind of this great idea. Hitman goes back to his 10 year high school reunion, reconnects with the girl he dumped when he disappeared to become a hitman. And we needed to shoot the film, so we shot a couple of days. And I remember it was. It wasn't really that it was disastrous, but it just wasn't funny and it wasn't working in the way that I think he knew it could. So he went to Joe Roth, who was then head of Disney, and said, can we just improvise? Can we? Will you just give us. Just give us, like, give us a week and watch the dailies and tell me if you don't think that it's great. And George Armitage, who was the director, bless his heart, was kind of, I think, forced to kind of go along with this.

[James School]

Sure.

[Minnie Driver]

So then there we all were, either in Venice at New Crime or in a hotel in Pasadena. And it was D.V. diVincentis and Steve Pink, who were John's co writers on Grosse Pointe, Blank and me. And we sat there bouncing, ideas going, okay, this is what's gonna happen. This is the beginning of the scene. Martin Blank comes to Debbie's house. We need to show that there is this history between these two and she's got to not make it easy for him. And it's got to be hot, so what does that look like? And we. We improv'd the whole thing. How are. How are you?

[Addison]

It's good to see you.

[James School]

You look great.

[Minnie Driver]

How long has it been?

[Addison]

10 years.

[Minnie Driver]

How long has it been since you stood me up on prom night and vanished without a word?

[James School]

Yeah. Ten years, I think.

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah.

[James Corden]

Mm.

[Minnie Driver]

There would be these pages that were still sort of hot off the press that we go the next day. And there was this immediacy and this p about the way in which we were doing it. And it felt like we were gonna go up in flames every single day. But we didn't. And it got funnier and funnier and more and more sort of rooted in the insanity of the story. I'd made Sleepers and I'd made Big Night and I'd made Circle of Friends before this. This was sort of a revolution of the way in which you make films. And I knew that this was in a bubble and that I probably wasn't gonna make a film like this again. Cause it was like a runaway train. It was amazing.

[James School]

I mean, it was also a huge success. The reviews for this film are incredible. I think it makes a lot of people's top five lists of all time. And then you had this other film in 1997, Good Will Hunting, and then suddenly it's like, Oscar nomination.

[James Corden]

You are at this moment, arguably, without.

[James School]

Question, one of the most in demand actors at that time, Right?

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah.

[James Corden]

Did it feel like that? Were you aware of that?

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah, it was terrifying. It was rabid gone.

[James School]

Why?

[Minnie Driver]

There was this low hum of menace, of like, if you stop, it will all go away. So it was predicated on fear as opposed to enjoyment and revelry and like fun, which it had always been up to that point and which I've sort of recovered now. But it suddenly became this thing which I don't know if other people experience that, where you're sort of white knuck it going, I've just got to hang on and oh, what if I make a mistake with the next film that I make and what happens? And oh, my God. And instead of it just being this great fun ride, it became terrifying and like. And everything was under the microscope.

[James School]

Have you found that easier or have you felt one step removed from that since moving back to Britain?

[Minnie Driver]

I think I felt it before. I tell you what, you have to lose it all. You really do. You have to ostensibly lose it all. I never lost it all, but I definitely lost that chasing of being the hottest, most in demand actor. Because I had a baby. And I had a baby by myself, it turned out. And I had to call my agent and go, I need a TV show that's called Shoots in Los Angeles so that my baby is gonna grow up with tea time and mates and football and regular and not on the bandwagon, shooting an independent film in Romania, which, God bless them, I'll go see those all day long. But I didn't want that life for him and I needed a regular income. So I made this hard turn into television, which was incredible. Into network television, you know, which is pretty vicious schedule wise. Like 26 episodes of anything doesn't really even exist anymore. You work nine months of the year, you're extremely well paid, and you have a routine. And so it was hard, but it was also really good because I was so grateful to be able to build this life for Henry. And in building that life with him, I suddenly realized all of this other stuff was a wonderful story. And I don't know, since moving back here, like, I'm really happy, like working. I work pretty much all the time, whether it's TVs or movies. It's much more joyful now, maybe because I don't need it so much.

[James Corden]

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[Addison]

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[James School]

Let's move on to your memory, which is which is really wrapped up in this kind of in what we're talking about.

[James Corden]

In a sense.

[James School]

Tell us the Memory that you've chosen to talk about today.

[Minnie Driver]

All right, well, the memory is not getting to sing at the Oscars. So Phantom of the opera 2003, we shot that film. I'm a singer, but I'm not a high soprano. And that part, she needs to be a high soprano. So Andrew Lloyd Webber got the amazing opera singer Margaret Priest to voice the part.

[James School]

To voice the role that you were playing in Phantom of the Opera.

[Minnie Driver]

To voice the role that I was playing, Exactly.

[James School]

Okay.

[Minnie Driver]

I would sing along, I would sing down, or I'd sing the harmony. He knew I could sing. At the end of the film, he said, I want you to sing the title track to the film. I've written this song. It's called Learn to Be Lonely. And I was thrilled, and it was amazing. And then the song got nominated for an Oscar, and I'm in rehearsals to sing at the Oscars, and it just was so fantastic. This movie that I loved, that I was part of, had the best time filming. Gil Cates, he's now deceased, the producer of the Oscars, came in one day and was like, yeah, you're not singing at the Oscars anymore. And I was like, what? And Andrew Lodova was like, what? Beyonce's singing. Beyonce's singing all the songs. Beyonce and Antonio Banderas are singing all the songs at the Oscars. I think my manager was like, wait, what? What are you talking about? And, you know, it was like a ratings thing, and it was this big punt, which obviously, like, they've never done again, but it was very, very strange.

[James School]

So this is how many days before the.

[Minnie Driver]

Three weeks, maybe a month. I was so invested. I felt like this was my song, this was my movie. I was in this movie. Like, how can you sort of have this taken away? And there was a sense of powerlessness around the kind of version of Hollywood where you can just have stuff taken away and be disinvited. And I was incredibly sad. And I was sad at my reaction. I was sad that I cared so much. I was like, this is absurd. Like, Beyonce singing your song at the Oscar, like, who gives a fuck? Like, whatever. She's Beyonce. Don't give it a second thought. But I couldn't let it go, and I was devastated. So my. One of my best mates, Emma, said, oh, fuck it. Let's just go on holiday. Let's go away. Let's go surf. You love to surf. Let's go to Costa Rica and let's just. You can surf. I'll sit on the beach. So we go and we Land in the middle of the night in San Jose and you have to get on a smaller plane to take an interior flight in Costa Rica. And we get on a plane and it's meant to be a 20 minute flight. And about 45 minutes in, I'm looking out and there's no ocean, there's no nothing. And I go up to the pilot and I'm like, costa Rica. And he's like, no, Panama. Literally at like 4 in the morning. We got dropped off in the middle of the jungle in Panama with literally people with goats and chickens in cages. Getting back on the plane. There was no room for us to get back on the plane. We were dropped with our wheelie bags and Emma, like, in her slingbacks. You can hear the toucans and the pumas growling. And that was it. The plane took off and we were just left. As we traipsed through the jungle with our broken heels and our broken wheelie bags, just waiting to. I don't even know what for. It felt so existential. I suddenly realized just the complete absurdity of all of it, of worrying about something like that so much that you had to get away, that you wound up in the Panamanian jungle, like, with your wheelie bag, and that I'd let it get to me. And I don't know what it was, but I just made a decision. I was like, I'm absolutely 1000% done with allowing an industry or an idea or anything that I make to sort of rule my mental health and the way that I feel. And when I came back to la, I went and stopped and I went and lived in a guest house and I just surfed and I played music and I wrote my first record and completely and utterly disengaged from all of it. And I went there for about nine months and I came back and found my mobile home, park by the sea, sold everything, bought my trailer, moved in, and my life really changed.

[James School]

Your memoir in 2022 is called Managing Expectations. That's really what we're talking about, right. Is that you had an idea of what this was gonna be like. I'm gonna sing at the Oscars. This is gonna be great. It's my song, I sang it. It's the hope that kills you. It's the expectation comes in your mind.

[James Corden]

Yes.

[James School]

More than it is what's actually happened.

[Addison]

Yeah.

[Minnie Driver]

And it's like, what will people think? I got fired from that job and replaced by. Yeah, I mean, Beyonce. You know what was actually the great addendum to that story is that the guy who won that year, he won for the Motorcycle Diaries. He was actually a doctor called Jorge Drexler. He as well, had been replaced by Antonio Banderas. And when, instead of giving a speech, he got up and he just sang his song.

[Addison]

Wow.

[Minnie Driver]

It was very cool. It was very stupid of them to do all that, like, at that moment was so ridiculous.

[James School]

Let's move on to your possession. Tell us the possession you've chosen for the show today.

[Minnie Driver]

My possession is my house, which isn't actually a house. It is a mobile home. And a mobile home, by definition, is a house that does not have a foundation. And you rent the land. You don't even own the land. And it is so perfectly impermanent. It's a fantastic metaphor, but it's also an absolute sanctuary. My little cottage by the sea. I live right on the break that I surf in Malibu. And when I almost lost it in the fires and the woolsey fires in 2018, I was actually at work. I was working on this TV show and someone called me and went, my God, the Woolsey fire, which had started in the Simi Valley a long way away. They were like, it's just dumped the pch. And I turned the TV on and I literally saw.

[James School]

Which is the road that runs from the ocean to essentially the residential area of Malibu.

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah, I live on the beach side of it, and I turn the TV on, and as I turned on the news, there was this motel a hundred feet from the beginning of my little community that was on fire. This had his huge palm tree in front of it. And I watched the palm tree, the top of it, explode like a firework. And I knew that we were, like, done for. And the feeling of all that was going to be lost was so devastating. And only after a few days did it turn out that there were 10 men, two of them retired firemen in our little community who decided they refused to evacuate. And they stayed. And I guess when you retire from the fire department, you get given, like a ceremonial hose.

[James School]

Right?

[Minnie Driver]

They literally flagged down a passing truck that was on its way to, like, the big 20 million dollar houses up the road. Got them to open the fire hydrants, and the guys were like, we can't stop. We gotta go. There are people, they use the two hoses that they had. They dug fire lines and they fought the fire. And this one of their sons, who was about 15 or 16, stayed and he went and he got everybody's hoses. Like our garden hoses were left outside, and he wet down all of our roofs. So that. That if cinders blew across, they would have less chance of catching. And these 10 guys and this kid, they saved all of our homes. That house, that little tiny place, it has been an absolute sanctuary for me. Like when I came back from Hawaii and when I was like, if I'm going to stay here and carry on doing this, everything needs to be different. Like the way in which I belly up to work, life approbation, being asked to the party, being asked to the Met gala, being not asked, how am I gonna live my life? It starts here. And it really did. And, like, the Pacific Ocean and that little house and deciding to kind of be a different way, everything was born in that little place. So my attachment to it as a possession, I'm not really attached to much. My kid, my house, my boyfriend, my guitar, my dog.

[James School]

You met Addison, your partner, basically around this time because of the fires, right?

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah.

[James School]

So can you tell me that story? What happened?

[Minnie Driver]

Oh, my God. It all sounds so implausible. And I promise you it's true. I've been in a very long relationship with someone who turned out to be an absolute rotter. I found out he'd been having a relationship with somebody else for a good part of our relationship. And that all happened two weeks before the fires.

[James School]

Right.

[Minnie Driver]

I'm in a state of heartbreak. But also, these guys in our community who fought the fire, they're now running out of stuff. Like, they get a FEMA meal a day, which is like an emergency meal, but they're running out of gloves and eyewash from the smoke and chocolate and booze and any kind of luxuries. Hand soap, sanitizer. So I get it into my head in this state of heartbreak and slightly manic, I need to go and deliver supplies. But the Coast Guard had issued no ship to shore. Cause people were looting, and it was. You would get arrested. So I was like, okay, well, I still gotta do it, so. So I'm like, okay, well, I can't do this by myself. Because I had this plan. Jump in the water, go to the beach, get the paddle boards, load up the stuff, paddle it in. That was my plan. I was like, well, I need someone to do this with. I called everyone. Everyone was like, are you mad hard? No, you were an idiot. No, don't do this. But I wouldn't be stopped. So I just kept going through my phone book, and I came across this guy who I'd met very briefly at this really interesting lunch a couple of years before. And I remembered he made documentaries in places of conflict and he was a. So I went, oh, that guy. That is a good person to call. So I called him and he was like, hello. I was like, hi, do you remember me? We met at a party. And he's like, yeah. I was like, are you in la? And he was like, no, not currently. I was like, where are you? And he's like, I'm in the Middle East. Oh. He was like, well, I'm coming back on the weekend. Why? And I said, well, I. I need you to help me deliver stuff to this community. My house almost burnt down and my neighbors are stuck. And he was like, so you wanna launch a sea based incursion? I was like, oh yeah, that's exactly what I wanna do. So this guy shows up, I'm not joking. A satellite phone and a bomb proof case and snacks.

[James School]

Wow.

[Minnie Driver]

And I think he thought there would be other people and it was just me like smoking cigarettes and like really thin and like not healthy or stable. And he was like, oh boy. And bless his heart, he got in the boat with me and did indeed get chased by an armed coast guard. And we got stranded and we did deliver everything and we got stuck in my house sweeping up ash and sitting on the deck waiting for the coast guard to basically change shifts so that we could get back in the water. And we spent this day and he was kind of marooned with me. And I said, I'm terribly sorry, I know you're stuck here, but like, can I just ask you questions about men because you're a bloke and you're clever. He answered every question about why men cheat, why men do the things they do. Like, he was absolutely brilliant. He was like the best bloke jukebox. And I was like, I'm never going to see him again because I'm mad and heartbroken and he's never going to want to see me again. But he did. And then it turned into this. The most unlikely relationship of my life that is without a shadow of a doubt the greatest.

[James School]

This all really leads us to your place.

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah.

[James School]

Cause it's, I mean it couldn't be more connected to what you're just talking about. Tell us the place that you wanted to talk about on the show.

[Minnie Driver]

So the place is the geographical point where I surf. It's where I live and it is where I surf when I'm home every day. And it is completely magical. It never fails to astonish me, like how different it is, even though I've walked it a million times with my surfboard at every hour of the day or night, I have walked that beach to the place that I surf, gotten in the water, watched the water, sat in the water, surfed the waves. And it never gets old. It is never anything except new and beautiful and satisfying and immense. It's really hard to explain. I don't think I love. Apart from Henry. I don't love anything in the world as much as I love the Pacific Ocean in that. That one particular place.

[James School]

Do you miss it?

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah. Like a lover, right? Yeah.

[James School]

Because being in the water is quite an important thing for you.

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah.

[James School]

So how do you. How have you. Are you just constantly taking baths now? You live back in. In Britain?

[Minnie Driver]

I go to the Russian baths and I do the cold plunge in the sauna. I go to East Sussex.

[James School]

Right.

[Minnie Driver]

I go to Basque country in France. I surf there and I love that.

[James School]

Right.

[Minnie Driver]

Surfing the Atlantic is totally different and amazing. Like, it's warm. I can't believe it. After surfing freezing cold water my whole life. That's amazing. My holidays are basically built around where I can surf.

[James School]

How are you feeling being back in the UK now? Because this is the second time in your life that you've lived somewhere else and come back to the uk, Right. So the first time, you were very young. What were you? Six? Seven.

[Minnie Driver]

Seven, yeah. Yeah.

[James School]

You moved back because you're. Your parents split up, right? Is that what happened?

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah, yeah. When my mum left my dad. Yeah. Where were you living then? We were kind of. I mean, we were all over the place. We were in the south of France, we were in Barbados. We were in both those places. So then coming back to deepest, darkest Hampshire in the beginning of autumn was quite a shock this time. It was hard for two years since we moved back in 2020.

[James School]

What was your decision for moving back? Cause you.

[Minnie Driver]

My kid.

[James School]

Okay.

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah. It was Henry going, I'm gonna lose my mind if I have to zoom. School, right. Until the schools open in California, I mean, they really didn't go back fully open. So he said, can I just go for a term? I had to finish this movie, Cinderella. Which you were also in.

[James Corden]

Yes.

[Minnie Driver]

And so we were like, yeah, let's go back. We'll go for a term. He'd just go to local school with my sister's kids in London. So that was the idea. And then he was loving it, and he was like, could we just finish the school year? So I was like, yeah, perfect. Sixth grade.

[James Corden]

Good idea.

[Minnie Driver]

We'll just do it. It's great. We'll go back. And then my mum died in 2021 in March. And it was such a huge tear in the time space continuum and was just sort of completely lost. We took this tree to the school that she went to, that I went to, that pretty much all my family went to. We went to plant her this tree as a memorial. And Henry came and, you know, he looked around the school and he was just like, this is nuts. Like, this is unbelievable. This is incredible. He was like, could I go here? And it really was Addison. It was my other half going, we could do this. Like, why not? Why? Everything's still sort of shut and weird and who knows what's happening? Why don't we just. Let's just do this. Let's just see where it leads us.

[James School]

What did he call the move? What kind of incursion were we talking about with the move?

[Minnie Driver]

This must have been like a reversion incursion. And then there we were. I found myself back in West London and I felt like I had vertigo. Like, it was so weird. I was sort of seeing people and, like, they were still, like, walking down the Portobello Road and, like, down the market. And it was just so weird. I was like, did my whole adult life actually not happen? I'm just back here doing the same stuff. I'm down the market on a Friday buying veg. I'm gonna go and cook a Sunday roast. Like, what is happening? Why I'm not surfing in California? It was all so tied up in grief of my mum, you know, And I wrote this book and that helped heal lots of things, and particularly the grief around her dying. And I wrote about her dying and we kind of got more settled and Henry was so happy and thriving and just doing so well. Been a pretty sort of middling student his whole life, and suddenly he was just brilliant at all these different things and sport and school, and watching him thrive, I was like, go on. You have to thrive too. You have to find a way to thrive.

[James School]

Well. Anybody doubting how important Henry is in your life? Let's move on to the person that you've chosen for today's show. Who do you want to tell us about?

[Minnie Driver]

The person that I've chosen is my son, Henry.

[James School]

Tell me about Henry.

[Minnie Driver]

Well, Henry is the most interesting person I know, and he is almost certainly the funniest.

[James School]

None taken. Carry on.

[Minnie Driver]

He cracks me up. He knows how to turn a joke. His timing is, 7 times out of 10, it is bang on. And the other times, it's so nightmarishly off. It's also funny. He changed the way that I looked at my Whole life like, you know, as an actor, as a performer, you are your own brand, right? You are wholly invested in you. You can't help but have a slightly sort of myopic narcissism. You are self regarding, you're the show, you're the thing. And that is really good and interesting and great. And it can also be a little bit lonely. It shuts out an awful lot of other stuff or it certainly did in my life. And you know, when I found out very unexpectedly that I was pregnant, I was terrified and didn't know how I was going to do it and what that was going to look like. And Henry's dad, you know, was a person who had never wanted children. This was not something that was planned. Like I can't put any of this blame on him, but I did say, look, I'm having this baby, I don't expect anything from you, but I am having this baby. This feels miraculous. So I had this giant 10 pound baby that is not for the faint of heart to naturally give birth to a ten pound baby. And so began. I remember bringing him home from the hospital and I put the car seat on, you know, I had this big island in the middle of the kitchen and I remember I put the baby on the car seat and I think my mum was upstairs getting the bags, but it was just him and me in the house and we just like, we looked at each other and we both burst into tears and started wailing. And my mom came in and she was like, what the fuck is going on? I was like, I don't know. I don't.

[James Corden]

He knows I can't do this.

[Minnie Driver]

He knows I'm gonna be shit at it. And so it began. There was something about the expansion of love that I just didn't think was possible and how humbling it is to be solely responsible for another human life. Particularly at three in the morning when they've got a temperature and the doctor tells you down the phone, take your nightie off and put the baby skin to skin on you and his temperature will regulate to yours. And it works. You're miraculously symbiotic with this tiny creature. I liked who I became, you know. He'd be horrified to hear me say this. I thank him all the time for who he turned me into, because it was definitely him who was Minnie Driver.

[James School]

Before and who is she today?

[Minnie Driver]

I was really scrappy and creativity and making art and making things, whether it was music or films or telly, it was everything. There wasn't anything outside of it. I Just wanted to make stuff. I missed funerals, I missed christenings, I missed weddings, birthdays, I missed everything and my friends lives growing up because I wanted to do this thing so much and I loved it. And then after Henry, I found a way of loving it but realizing that life is so much bigger than just that single mindedness. There could be both. And that actually I was sort of much calmer and less worried all the time by letting sort of my heart expand to love other things and be present for other things. And now it all just sort of like rolls along and I mean I constantly. Not only do the wheels come off the train, I'm there with a wrench taking the wheels off and throwing them out the window going, look, the wheels are off. And Henry and Addison are so resolutely brilliant, sort of laughing at me and not taking my emotion too seriously. Leveling me, loving me. It's pretty cool.

[James School]

Mini driver, your music is Tidal Wave by Bomb the Bass. Your movie is gross point blank. Your memory is not getting to sing at the Academy Awards. Your possession is your house in Malibu. Your place is the point where you surf. And your person is your son, Henry. Thank you for sharing this life of yours. Next week is this.

[Brandi Carlile]

I'm Brandi Carlile. Welcome to this life of mine. I was gonna be baptized alongside this other kid and the pastor, he says, do you practice witchcraft or homosexuality? And I said, well, you know, I'm gay. And he said, if you can't denounce witchcraft and homosexuality today, I can't baptize you. I wrote I love Elton John on my notebooks at school. I had E and J on my shoes. He became my great hero.

[James Corden]

You now have a friendship with Elton John.

[Brandi Carlile]

Yeah, like talk every single day.

[James Corden]

Every day.

[Minnie Driver]

Every day. At least once.

[James Corden]

Stop.

[Brandi Carlile]

Neah Bay is the northernmost tip of the United States. And I've been going there since I was six or seven to go fishing. It's the place where we all go to just check in with our sort of Carlisleness one time and then go back out into the world and be who we are, you know?

[James School]

Have you ever invited Elton?

[James Corden]

Right now I'm just loving the idea.

[James School]

Of Elton John head to toe in Gucci trying to catch a fish.

[Minnie Driver]

Yeah. Oh.

[James Corden]

If you haven't subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now is the perfect time. You can listen to this life of mine completely ad free. Plus you'll unlock exclusive quickfire rounds of questions with all of my guests. They're all in two minutes or less. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or head to lemonadepremium.com to subscribe on any other app. Or you can listen ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership. That's lemonade premium.com don't miss out.