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Theo Von
We're getting into the final shows for the Return of the Rat Tour. Gosh, this red is Almost fully returned July 9th. Will be in Philadelphia, Rochester, New York on July 10th. Then we're in Detroit after that. Moving on, we're in Los Angeles Anaheim at the Honda center in Oceanside, California. You can get all your tickets@theovon.com tickets t o u R and just thank you so much for your support. Today's guest is an entertainer and a podcaster. You know him as half of the Sunday Conversation team with Caleb Presley. He's a bit of a cheese sommelier, amongst other things. I just got back from spending the weekend with him in Las Vegas. Today's guest is Glenny Balls. Yeah, dude, Good to see you, man.
Glenny Balls
Are we on?
Theo Von
Yeah, I guess. I don't know.
Glenny Balls
Good. Good to see you.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
We spent all weekend together, but good.
Theo Von
To see you again, dude. Nice to see you still.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, it's been a good 30 hour break between us.
Theo Von
That's a good point, dude. Yeah. I like that native American garb you have.
Glenny Balls
This is my mom. She forced me to get it today. We went shopping on Broadway today because I'm here with my parents. And I said, big podcast. I've been traveling for a week. I gotta go buy a new shirt. Went to one of the stores on Broadway, saw this and she said, you gotta try this one. It was either between this or a denim one. And the denim was a little. A little tight. When I sat down, it was only an xl. And the last time I did this podcast, I was wearing my shirt, was absolutely screaming for help. It was a lot. So I gotta make sure there's sitability. I was sitting on steps in stores today.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah? Yeah. And they should have a shirt that if something's going, it lets you know somehow because you don't. A lot of times you don't know. There'll be times I'll leave the house buttons completely uneven and nobody says, hey, buddy. Hey.
Glenny Balls
It's bad, it's bad. Like when I saw you're a good T shirt guy, I think I've only seen you in T shirts, actually. When you came to do our last Sunday conversation, the shirt you wore, there was a sick button down. I still want to find out where you got that from because that was a cool button down.
Theo Von
Thanks.
Glenny Balls
I would have worn that today.
Theo Von
Ooh, that is a nice shirt. Yeah. For some reason I don't like, I don't feel. I don't know, I don't feel acclimated in really nice Stuff. I think it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Glenny Balls
No, I mean, Saturday night we went to UFC, the first thing I wore was I wore a $20 shirt from Target. It was fantastic. Those Goodfellow shirts, they're great. They're like beachy shirts. $20. I just showed you. I brought up Bucky's T shirt with me. $24. Fantastic. I can't really justify, like, spending a few hundred bucks on a shirt. I don't know how to do that yet.
Theo Von
Yeah, I think I'm trying. Yeah, I don't like. I just don't like trying stuff on. I know certain T shirts. I know how they're gonna fit. I'm very basic with that kind of stuff, you know? But. Yeah, dude, that looks like a very. I'm trying to think that's like, sort of Sturgis. Like.
Glenny Balls
Like, very Dakotas. Some of Dakota about it. Yes. I hope it's not cultural appropriation. I did buy it on Broadway today. It was in boot barn. It was in boot barn. For the record, if it is, it's boot barn's fault, I'm sure.
Theo Von
Dude, first of all, our whole country is cultural appropriation. So can we just, like, is there anything, Dude? Yeah, I'm sure there's not a name.
Glenny Balls
I just hope it's okay to wear with a cheese store hat.
Theo Von
Yeah, that's a good point.
Glenny Balls
Two have never been together before.
Theo Von
Well, it's sad that we took over the American's land to build a cheese store, too, but it's also. It tastes so good. Dude, that's the thing.
Glenny Balls
I went to the cheese store last week. It was fantastic, as always.
Theo Von
Oh. If you get a comfortable Brie, it's like sometimes you. You want to swallow it, but you want it to stay in your mouth.
Glenny Balls
And Bree is basically like butter. It's legitimate butter. It's. It's unbelievable.
Theo Von
Brie is, like, the gayest butter you could ever get.
Glenny Balls
And it's. And I'm all for it.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
With some roasted red peppers and a little. It's good.
Theo Von
It just feels like a. I can't even explain how great it feels. Look, because look at it. If you look at Brie, first of all, it's cream on the inside, clean on the outside.
Glenny Balls
Kind of looks like a cake. What I'm looking at right now, it does look cake. And it's. It's a very, very freeing feeling to spread some good Brie, knowing how good it's going to be. Yes, it's. It's nice.
Theo Von
Yeah. Because a lot. A lot of the and let's go down a brief charcuterie lane here. A lot of charcuterie boards, right. Because that stuff became popular in the past three years. People are charcutering. You know, white chicks were, like, looking for something to do.
Glenny Balls
That's truly what it is. Because I've always thought to myself, this is so stupid. Why is anybody taking the time to do this? And now I kind of get it. I kind of. I've been trying to make my own charcuterie boards.
Theo Von
Really not.
Glenny Balls
I'm not good at it at all, actually. I take that back. I'm not trying to make my own charcuterie boards. I've just. I've been enjoying just, like, I guess, prepping food and just, like, presenting it in a nice way. Whenever. Whenever I'm doing anything with food, it's fun to take the extra time to make it kind of look nice. And I'm not very good at it. I'm still learning. But, like, if I'm cutting a steak, it is fun to, like, place it exactly how it should be, you know?
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Like, on the bone. Just make it look nice. I don't know. And I actually enjoy prepping. Like, when I cook, I enjoy cutting onions. I enjoy cutting tomatoes. I think it's fun.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
I like the thrill of possibly something happening.
Theo Von
Yeah. No, I do. You know, you. There is something fun about. There's something fun, like if you. Somebody, like, here, cut this, and you're like. And then it's all cut.
Glenny Balls
You're like, we did that. I did that. It's fun to see it. Like, you could buy diced onions. I'd rather dice my own onion. I actually cut myself a few weeks ago doing it, but I survived.
Theo Von
But, hey, you're a guy who's willing to get in there, get into the produce trenches, get into these kind of vegetable Vietnam situations where. Gets kind of intense.
Glenny Balls
Yes. And sometimes you lose.
Theo Von
Yes.
Glenny Balls
I lost a few weeks ago, but it's okay.
Theo Von
But. Yeah, so what. What makes a good charcuterie board? Like, is it. Is it an even out of, like, sweet and like. Like, robust? Like, what is it, Glenny?
Glenny Balls
That is one thing that I will say that I do love on charcuterie board that I've been getting into a lot. Like, I've been more inclined to ordering this on a restaurant menu when they have charcuterie. Shout out to my guy Josh, our producer, Josh, you met. Nice little fellow. He has recently taught me about jams and, like. And I love when there's a. Like, if we're Traveling. And there's a little jam on a table at breakfast. I'm starting to put that on the bread, on the toast, which is actually fantastic. And there's some great jams on charcuterie boards. And I've been loving, loving the jam with the crackers and the cheese. It's oddly a good creamy sweet scenario. So the jam has been my favorite part. And obviously you can meet. You can't get the meat from 7 11. I've been spoiled at the cheese store because they do bring out, like, stuff from Italy, which is obviously creme de la creme.
Theo Von
That's that place in LA that you love. Yeah, I know. You supposed if I was going to go, you'd offer to take me, but we'll have to do it another time, dude. Okay. So the jams, there's definitely. I do notice a lot of times you'll see the jam on there that has, like, the seeds in it. Yeah. And that, to me, it's just like, I've never really liked, like, really rich stuff, you know? Like, I remember one time we went to my. My dad had a girlfriend. Sorry, Mom. My dad had a girlfriend, and we went over and she was rich, dude. Like, she had a balcony. She had a lot of shit. We went over to her house and she was doing Thanksgiving and she had like, cranberries, but it was like real bear. Like, you know, I've talked about this years ago, but there was like. There's different grades of cranberries. You can get like the gelat, the jelly. It's basically somebody just open up a Smuckers, cut it into slices, and you eat it like that. Like, our mom would do that sometimes. She would put the jelly into the freezer for like an hour and a half. Yeah. Oh, this is. This is actual cranberry sauce. We would. There was a grade below that where you would just have, like semi frozen grape jelly. Ooh.
Glenny Balls
Kind of looks like that picture in the middle kind of looks like. I get what you're saying. I feel like that almost feels more authentic, though, right?
Theo Von
I agree. And then you got regular cranberry sauce, the jelly stuff. And then you got the one that kind of had the mix. And then rich people that just had actual cranberries that were kind of smashed or, like abused or whatever. They'd been through the system or foster care, whatever. And they had those, like, in a special bowl and she had those. And I couldn't even stomach it. Like, it just made me so scared.
Glenny Balls
It's probably so good, though, with some real Turkey, Some good authentic that you said was Thanksgiving. Some good Thanksgiving turkey. Like, that's another thing I've been enjoying on a Thanksgiving. The cranberry sauce, the sweet and savory is. It really is a delight. I've been doing some pervert stuff recently with like, getting a chocolate bar, like taking a Hershey's and taking a pretzel and just doing it myself. Because you could buy chocolate covered pretzels, but if you get the little. Do it yourself. Take one square of Hershey, one bite of a pretzel together in the same bite. It's a joy.
Theo Von
Wait, so you're doing this at home?
Glenny Balls
So my buddies live. My three best friends live like five minutes from my house. So I go there all the time.
Theo Von
Okay.
Glenny Balls
And we do some bad. Some bad eating every now and then. Sunday nights really get us. They get us. They get us big time. And Sunday nights too. The Sunday nights are terrible. Yeah, we'll do. Sometimes we'll do candy. I don't even like candy. And we'll do candy like nerd. Like Nerd busters, whatever. Those are all that. Yeah. And my buddies are in shape. They're in shape guys. They're not like, yeah, but are you.
Theo Von
Just using them to go over there and have those snacks, do you think? Is that like a crazy thing? Because I used to buy. I used to bicycle over to my buddy's dad's house to. To look at their pornos and pornography.
Glenny Balls
Same. But. But yeah, no, I mean, I think. I think it's a mutual thing. It's mutual. It's mutual. They love it. They love it more than me. Honestly.
Theo Von
I don't like man eating nerd ropes late at night or whatever. To me, that is.
Glenny Balls
It's the Sunday nights. Sunday nights will get you banned, will. It's. It's. It's Sunday night. If they didn't exist, I would maybe have a six pack. I'm bad at Sunday nights. I'm bad at Sunday nights especially. You think you have a good weekend, and then it's like, oh, oh, yeah.
Theo Von
You make it through that weekend, you get to Sunday, you're kind of surviving, and then it gets late in the day, and you could, if you could, if you had any balls and if you hadn't bought a vape, you could go to bed in two hours. But something happens to you where you start looking in your pantry and like, yeah, I'll make a cake. Like, there's been a cake box in there. You're like, I can eat a bunch of peanut butter.
Glenny Balls
Right now, I. I love peanut butter and apple. That's the thing, too, that Sundays are killing me because I've been trying. So my peak weight that I've ever weighed was 355 years ago. Like, six years ago. I was a big boy. Yeah.
Theo Von
Is there any photos? That is. Oh, my God. You were on the cusp of getting one of those shows. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
So I was a big boy. Like, 2018. It was 2018. I think I weighed myself, and it was 355 and, like, Labor Day weekend of 2018. And then so now I'm, like, sitting at, like. That's pretty big right there.
Theo Von
Wow.
Glenny Balls
Ew.
Theo Von
Oh, my.
Glenny Balls
You look at that Billy Joel shirt. Ew.
Theo Von
God.
Glenny Balls
Oh, my God. That's disgusting.
Theo Von
Look at that Billy Joel billboard.
Glenny Balls
That is a billboard, that shirt. You can fit three people in that shirt.
Theo Von
Well, you definitely increase the font of it when you put it on. That's for sure.
Glenny Balls
That auburn picture on the left there with Marina and Chuck, that's a big boy. Jesus Christ.
Theo Von
That's you?
Glenny Balls
Yes.
Theo Von
Zoom in a little bit. Oh, my God.
Glenny Balls
That's big boy.
Theo Von
Look like somebody poisoned you.
Glenny Balls
I needed to get poisoned to lose some weight.
Theo Von
Wow. And what were you doing for work? Were you, like, one of those secret people that eats at restaurants? No, but, you know, that's crazy.
Glenny Balls
You know what the problem was? Like, I was working at Barstool. It was in Manhattan. So I would get, like. Like, I went to the place Toasties all the time. It was like, Chicken cutlet and Bacon Heroes for lunch. You can't have that for lunch. If you're a normal person, you got to have a salad for lunch or, like, a bowl. A Chipotle bowl.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
You can't be banging out Chicken Cutlet Bacon Heroes for lunch. You just can't do it.
Theo Von
Yeah. If you're dinner lunching, then you are.
Glenny Balls
Exactly. So that's what I. But what I was going to say is since my top. Since my top peak weight, I'm at, like, 355. So I'm sitting right now at, like, 257, and I'm dying. I want to take all my friends and family when I finally hit255.102 outback to celebrate at Outback. Yeah, but I've just been sitting at 257. And what I'm saying is there were no Sunday nights. I think I would be at 255. I'm so close. Actually, I weighed myself the other day. Our hotel in Vegas, they had scales in the room, which Was meant to be. There should never be a scale in a hotel room.
Theo Von
Well, those are for drugs.
Glenny Balls
It was a human scale.
Theo Von
I was like, it's interesting. You're like, well, Glenn's balancing on this very small scale in here.
Glenny Balls
Saturday, Saturday morning I woke up and I was like. It was just staring at me, like telling me, come in, get on me, get on me.
Theo Von
Come here, white boy.
Glenny Balls
Or whatever.
Theo Von
Was it set to urban or whatever? Because sometimes it'll be like, get in here, honky.
Glenny Balls
He was just staring at me. Blow the sink. Get on.
Theo Von
And I got on.
Glenny Balls
And it was 254.8. But I'm not calling it official till I get one Monday, and it's under 255. Then we're going out back. Yeah, that's fair.
Theo Von
Monday weigh ins.
Glenny Balls
I've been doing Monday. But I'm also thinking I got to stop doing every Monday because then if I have a good week, I'll let myself go a little bit. I want to start doing like monthly, I think. I think monthly is the key.
Theo Von
Monthly weigh ins, I think that's the key. Well, a lot of people, they have bracelets now, and it's like, you're fat right now. Like they'll have that, that, whatever that thing. It'll be like you're a pervert or whatever. Sometimes it's supposed to tell you your blood pressure. It's like you're a pervert. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
After Sunday night.
Theo Von
Yeah. You're like, you're 40ft from a gay guy or whatever. You're like, what? Who cares?
Glenny Balls
That's why I don't have an apple watch.
Theo Von
Sometimes it'll. The volume will just be turned up and you're like, what the hell? That's my stepdad. You know what I'm saying? You're like, yes. Those watches is just like starting to take over our lives.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, the watches scare me. Everything's crazy. The technology is crazy.
Theo Von
Oh, it's getting crazy, man. But yeah, I want to go back to the charcuterie.
Glenny Balls
I mean, charcuterie. I'm not into it yet. I said I was into it before. I did not mean that. I mentioned food preparation in general. I think eventually I could see myself getting into it because it does seem like a thing like 10 years down the line. Like when you're a little older and you just want to hang out, it's something to do, like you said, for like old white women. It's just something to do just to preparation and then show off, show off to the group. Oh, I'm having a Super bowl party. Let me make a sick charcuterie.
Theo Von
Yeah. I think. Well, I think. Well, it also gets obtuse at certain corners of the charcuterie board because you have the crackers and the cheese. I get that. Right. And I remember I saw one one time at somebody's house, and they had that little knife. You ever seen that little knife? It's for, like, a Japanese, like, boy or whatever. Like a. It cut. It's, like, very little, and it has like, a little thing on the end. It's like kind of a.
Glenny Balls
You mean like like a spreader knife?
Theo Von
Yes.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Like, it's not even sharp.
Theo Von
It's not even.
Glenny Balls
No, it's like, to spread the brie.
Theo Von
Right. It's like a knife that. Like, something happened or. No. You know what I'm saying? It goes. It's in special lead or whatever. Right. It's still a knife. Don't tell it. Don't put it near real knives. Right. It's still a great knife, but it's not serrated. It'll never be serrated. It'll never be sharp. It is for spreading. Right. It's for just, like, paint by number type of shit. Right. But, yeah, I remember the first time I saw that. I had to. I. I was like, oh, this is like a little. For a little Japanese guy or something. And I was like, I'm still on this. I'm still on this.
Glenny Balls
I love that photo. That was a cleaver there. I just got a cleaver for Christmas recently. Really feel very, very happy about it. It's very good. My uncle got me a really cool cleaver. Yeah. It's kind of fulfilling dreams of mine. It's very. It's extra manly to cut something with a meat cleaver.
Theo Von
Who's zooming on that cleaver A little.
Glenny Balls
Looks like a little baby cleaver, too. That looks like a. Like a child one.
Theo Von
Yeah. Which is. It's not for children.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Look at. In comparison to the other knives, that must be like a. Literally a little cheese cleaver. A little baby cheese cleaver. Yeah. Really cut your pinky. You can only cut your pinky with it.
Theo Von
Oh, God. Dude. Yeah. But once. But then the security on the. Out on the outriggers of the shark, they put, like, these little pickles, right? And they're. And they're way undersized. I don't want to say that they're premature or whatever, but they. Nobody should have harvested. Whoever harvested them did it at night and probably was Sex trafficking or whatever. It's like, nobody should pick these. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
I think those are called gherkin pickles. If I do.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Say it correctly, I think, why did my voices do that? But yeah, gherkin pickles, I believe those are called. Oh, I'm not. I'm not a fan of them. I'm still getting into pickles. That's way one thing that I've haven't.
Theo Von
Loved my whole life, really.
Glenny Balls
I've been enjoying it more. It's odd too, though, because, like, I do love a relish on hot dog.
Theo Von
Yeah, me too.
Glenny Balls
Of a relish on hot dog. And that's just pickles.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
But just straight up pickles. Sometimes I don't know, they don't do it for me.
Theo Von
Yeah, but relish is like pickles. That's like. Yeah. What's up?
Glenny Balls
We're here. Put some mustard on me.
Theo Von
We rise.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I will die for relish. I'll eat relish. But I could eat relish by itself. Like, I don't do it, but I could. I love relish. Fantastic. Hot dog mustard, relish. Boom. Easy. Love it.
Theo Von
Yeah. One thing I do like about a hot dog time is I will do a hot dog. Right. Some people will do like, they'll DP a hot dog to put like 2 francs in it or whatever. I don't do that.
Glenny Balls
Have you ever done Chicago hot dog? It's my favorite type of hot dog.
Theo Von
I'm not. Oh, wait, Yeah. I was at the Chicago Cubs game. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Probably Vienna beef dog.
Theo Von
And I think they gave us some up there. Is very nice. Yes. There you go. Unbelievable.
Glenny Balls
Poppy seed bun, sport peppers, mustard, relish, tomato slice pickle. It's the best. That's a pickle I like. But on the Chicago hot dog, they literally put the whole pickle spear on it. So it's kind of hard to eat. I will say they should put pickle slices on it, but everything together in there is one of my favorite bites in the world. I love a Chicago hot dog.
Theo Von
And do they use a special type of bun for that?
Glenny Balls
They usually. It's a poppy seed bun. I'm pretty sure. I think that's the traditional way. I. I do enjoy, like a split top bun. Split top bun is nice. I think that's good. I'm a big. I'm. I'm very high on Chicago. I think it's the best food city in the country.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. I would watch you eat that, man. That looks cool. Yeah. You know, right.
Glenny Balls
One time we're in Chicago at the same Time we'll share. What?
Theo Von
Yeah, I used to watch those videos of Japanese women eating big pieces of cake or whatever. You've ever seen that?
Glenny Balls
Like a mukbang?
Theo Von
Yeah, but it was before mukbanging. It was just like, when people. It was like, you know, because Japanese people are like, the human asmr, right?
Glenny Balls
Sure.
Theo Von
If you've ever just been around a Japanese person, it's like listening to asmr, but they're, like, in the room with you, and they're just being themselves, Right? They're not even. Like, if a Japanese person whispers in the woods, who the fuck would ever know, dude? You can't even hear them, you know? So it's like they're just so quiet. It's like, oh, I don't know what I was talking about, but, yeah.
Glenny Balls
Anyway.
Theo Von
What were you talking about?
Glenny Balls
We were talking about some Chicago hot dogs. But speaking of food, we shared a great steak Friday night.
Theo Von
Oh, we did.
Glenny Balls
I felt really bad, though, because I could tell when the waiter asked me what I liked, how I like to cook, and I said, medium rare. There was so much disappointment on your face, and you want medium. And I felt really bad about it since then, so I just wanted to apologize for that.
Theo Von
Oh, well, thanks, dude. Well, I've been trying to do this thing where if somebody makes a suggestion, I go along with it instead of always just, you know, I'm usually like, like, if somebody wants to go see a movie, if I don't want to see it. Nah, always. Right? Never. Like, don't you want to come? Like, do not. So this was, like, something practicing for me. Like, somebody's like, hey, let's have a steak. This is how I like it. And I was like, I hate. I don't want that. But tried it. Loved it.
Glenny Balls
It was a fan. It was. That was one of the better steaks I've had out in a long time.
Theo Von
I agree.
Glenny Balls
It was really, really good.
Theo Von
Where were we at?
Glenny Balls
It was. I think it was called Don's Prime, Don's Fountain Blue in Vegas. It was one of the better steaks I've had in a long time.
Theo Von
Yeah, I agree. And I'll say what even made it good. I think for me. Let's tell each other what. What they thought made it good for me. It wasn't overwhelmed with, like, seasoning and too much juice. Like, too juice. Like, sometimes juices. It's nice, but it was just kind of perfect. It didn't, like, get the plate all blood. It was just kind of perfectly like, hey, it almost like it showed up and was like, hey, I know I'm the.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Because they kept telling us. They. As soon as we sat down, they said, oh, this is from some sick farm in Idaho. Yeah, this is good meat. And we all said, oh, that's the one we're getting. And it made, it made me happy to see because like there's so many times where I'm sitting around at these restaurants and you hear about all these details about the meat and it comes in, it's whatever that you could taste the difference. That was really one of the better, better steaks I've ever had.
Theo Von
Oh, I agree, man. It was great. And we split up. It was the perfect amount because we're still going to go out for a bit. We weren't too weighed down, like leaning on the speaker in the corner of the bar, dude, one thing. What they're always like, yeah, this calf, it was like tickled by tall kids or whatever.
Glenny Balls
You're like, well, yeah, the Japanese, the Wagyu, they're going through everything. They're eating good. They're like, they're feeding them, just grass fed. It's just energy. Grass all their lives.
Theo Von
But like Japanese people whisper directly into the skin of this animal while it was being raised. You know, it's like, it's like raised in a two bedroom apartment. You're like, holy. Some of this meat sounds very fancy. But yeah, it's like, it's so scary.
Glenny Balls
To also to think about. I always do this too many times, like to think about truly how many animals there are if all this food is being given to people. It's so scary to think about.
Theo Von
What are you saying?
Glenny Balls
Like how many like chickens are murdered? Not murdered, but killed a day. Like so many. Like even. I'm just trying to think about this reason, like if I order an order of wings at a bar and there's 10 wings in there, does that technically mean that I'm having five chickens? Like two wings of chicken?
Theo Von
I think there are some chickens that have more than 2,206 million a day. Globally, approximately 206 million chickens are killed for food each day.
Glenny Balls
Wild stuff.
Theo Von
What?
Glenny Balls
Wild stat.
Theo Von
Holy shit, dude.
Glenny Balls
It's like since we started Talking about this, 140,000 chickens just died. Oh, that's wild.
Theo Von
That's the original Gaza right there. Dude, that's crazy. I can't believe they're doing that. In the United States alone, the numbers around 26 million chickens. That means that roughly 140,000 chickens are slaughtered every minute. But hold on, how many people live In America, I think it's 350 million.
Glenny Balls
I think that sounds right. It's around there, I think.
Theo Von
So you're saying.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. 340.
Theo Von
340 million. 26 million chickens a day. That means one out of.
Glenny Balls
Trying to do this math. I'm not very good at math. It's like 1 out of 13. Maybe 14. I don't know. I think 340 divided by 26 is around 1412. Wow.
Theo Von
So 1 out of 13 people every day is having a chicken, which seems kind of low. I thought it seemed right on time.
Glenny Balls
Really?
Theo Von
Yeah. Because I think children don't eat a lot of chicken because they're so little and they can't. And you shouldn't give expensive food to children.
Glenny Balls
I had chicken today. Yeah, I had a chicken.
Theo Von
You already had it?
Glenny Balls
Yeah, I had a. I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich from Pot Belly today right before I came. I need something in the system. You want to know what happened to me yesterday that I'm actually really disappointed about?
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
And I hope that whoever did this sees this podcast and come catch me outside. But yesterday I was out. Me and my parents did one of those party buses.
Theo Von
And then send me a photo of a beautiful picture. We'll include the picture.
Glenny Balls
Nice photo. And then I went to one of these party buses. And then we all went back to the hotel afterwards. And I was pretty hungry. I ordered some chick fil a to be there when I get there. Someone stole it. No, someone stole it. I was actually pooping. I was in the bathroom. It got delivered at 4:23pm I heard the guy. Guy knocking the door. Left it outside, 4:36. I opened the door, vanished into the night. Somebody stole it. I was fucking furious. I've never been one to rat, but I was very close to go to the hotel and be like, do you have cameras? I need to see who did this because I got more chicken. And you know what I'm really. I'm really hoping for? Like, when I order my chick fil A, I do it every time I travel. I just got a bunch of grilled nuggets and spicy fillets with no bread. I hope those bastards were drunk and thought it was sandwiches and tenders and good. And they just open it to a huge pack of grilled nuggets. I hope that them over. I'm so. I. It got me so bad.
Theo Von
Oh, I hope those pieces of choke.
Glenny Balls
It's just don't take what's not yours. Yeah, that's it.
Theo Von
Yeah. I hope they choke on that. I Hope they get a waffle fry that never leaves their system.
Glenny Balls
So now I know I have a thief on my floor. Every time I've left my hotel room, I know someone is around here. Oh, yeah. I just want to start yelling, banging a bell, being like, I know one of you did this.
Theo Von
Dude, we. There's. We have to be able to get footage of it. What hotel was it?
Glenny Balls
Yeah, I could say, because I'm. I'll be gone. It's Cambria downtown in Nashville, Tennessee. Sixth floor. I'm room 614. Someone stole my Chick Fil A and I delivered about it.
Theo Von
And what could you have done? Dude, 13 minutes. Leaving chick fil A at your doorstep for 13 minutes is a long time.
Glenny Balls
On a Monday afternoon, though. I thought it was a Monday afternoon. I haven't even seen anybody in the hallway yet. Yeah, and I think the guy sent me the photo. It was right outside the room. 6:14. It was right outside there and then vanished.
Theo Von
Did it sound like he set it down completely and left it? Or could you hear any more? Like he might. He might have been the guy to come get it.
Glenny Balls
I hope he wasn't the guy to do it because that would. That would be bad. That would be tough for doordash. I love doordash.
Theo Von
But, oh, yeah, they're the fucking Navy seals of our generation. I mean, Tim Dillon and I had a big conversation about this. To roll up silently to a door as quietly as you can, leave something completely delectable, right? Evade dogs. Evade dangerous brothers. Probably trying to rob you, like all types of shit, you know, Evade hungry people.
Glenny Balls
That's my biggest pet peeve about nice hotels. Like, when you stay in a nice hotel, the door dashers can't get up to you. Because of the key. Because of the key. Like this past weekend, we were staying at a nice hotel in Vegas. They can't get up to you, so you have to go down. You have to go down, pick up the food. But not a decent hotel like a Cambria. They could walk right up. There's no security.
Theo Von
Oh, really?
Glenny Balls
Right at my door. I didn't have to go down to the lobby or anything. And then I run to the door and I open it in my underwear. Make sure no one's around grabbing it.
Theo Von
Yeah, we try to lean forward. Just get your.
Glenny Balls
Hold the door open and just. Just try to grab it off the ground.
Theo Von
Dude, hotel rooms are crazy. How much you're just hiding from everybody.
Glenny Balls
Interesting experience to think about. I was talking about this with our producer Kelsey recently too, about just how Sunday conversations. We love. Kelsey, Just how much like sex do you think has been in every hotel room you've been in? Like in Vegas especially.
Theo Von
Oh, I can't even imagine how many people have even just jerked off on the floor in my room.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. If a hotel has been. If a hotel has been open for 20 years, it's had like. I wonder how each, how much each room has. Seems scary to think about because there's no way it's being properly sterile. No way.
Theo Von
Do you, I don't know if you, how you could properly sterilize it unless you use like Eco Shield or one of those companies that comes and does the, you know, I mean you'd have to use some type of a high grade cleaner. What would you even do? Pressure wash the carpet or whatever.
Glenny Balls
Truly no idea that. What do they always say? No, you shouldn't bring a black light into a hotel because you know what's on the walls.
Theo Von
Yeah, right.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, that's, that's, that's weird for me. And also my hotel is. It's a very odd hotel. The only hotel. I got a new picture of it. It's the only hotel I've ever been in. The bed is in the middle of the room, like, like it's not next to any walls, if that makes sense. That's a normal room. But it's. There's. I'm telling you, I'll send it, I'll send you a photo. It's just the bed is in the middle of the room. I've never seen anything like.
Theo Von
Oh, I get dizzy in there, I think. And just trying to even. Just figure out how to get to the bathroom, you get caught in a fucking tailwind.
Glenny Balls
Like last night my mom came in my, into my room to get me to go out and it was. Yeah, that's it. They're just in the middle of the room. There's a walkway behind it. There's a bar behind it.
Theo Von
Yeah, that's too much. I don't. I like my bed in a corner. I like to eliminate all possibility of things attacking me or whatever. That's how I sleep. In complete fear.
Glenny Balls
I do love a good hotel view though. I'm a sucker for a good view. I love a good view.
Theo Von
We went to Power Slab.
Glenny Balls
Unbelievable.
Theo Von
What do you think it was your first time?
Glenny Balls
Unbelievable. I mean being. Thanks to you, obviously you're in the first row. Being that close and seeing it, hearing it, the heat, the sounds of it is the craziest part.
Theo Von
Yeah. I can't believe they.
Glenny Balls
My only complaint actually Is the big. The bigger guys at the end, they're so big, they don't fall. So the third guy. What was his name? Blackburn. He was a nut. It was awesome because those guys were falling. I don't know if you remember the one guy fell. Friggin. He got slapped. And then his. He fell so hard, his face hit the little middle thing they use. He got double hit. It was unbelievable. Power stop was awesome. It was. We were almost saying it was like. It's more of like a party environment, like just talking to everybo hanging out. And then it's like instead of a band is playing, it's just big guys get slapped.
Theo Von
Yeah. It's kind of like you're sitting there having a snack or chatting or having ice water or something, and then you can feel everybody's about. Somebody's about to slap somebody in the corner of the room. Everybody literally goes silent for one second, looks over somebody, slaps the living lights out of somebody else. And then.
Glenny Balls
And it's so cool because, like, we also, me and Caleb went to our first UFC Saturday. Like, there's a few. There's a few moments where you saw something like. Like, and you make that face. You make that face every single fight in Power Slap.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Every single time you see it, it's just, holy. Literally, holy.
Theo Von
Oh, it's overwhelming.
Glenny Balls
And the one big guy, remember, he was going right, and then he decided to hit with his left. That was a stunning moment.
Theo Von
Yeah, he's like the cow ripped in a. A power slap.
Glenny Balls
Whatever.
Theo Von
That dude. Yeah. He can play from both sides.
Glenny Balls
He was on. I don't even think he. And I think he did announce it, because then they kept saying, oh, he's going left this time. He's going left. I thought it was a surprise. I thought he surprised left, but it wasn't.
Theo Von
Oh, it would be great. But they announce. This is one thing. It's about power supply. They announce, like, all right, it's left on one. It just tells you, like. So you, like, what hand he's using.
Glenny Balls
It's just a wild scene.
Theo Von
It's a wild scene. And there's. First of all, there's all these influencers there, right? So you're like, everybody's like an influence. It's like, like, oh, yeah, have you met salad boy? Or whatever? And it's like, who? And they're like, yeah, this is salad Boy. He can. He. They're like, he doesn't have any arms, but watch him mix up this salad or whatever. You're like, he's like, I've mixed over.
Glenny Balls
2000 people walk in the room. The wrist there's clearly there. Yeah, I wish he was there, but.
Theo Von
Yeah, it's like Salad boy. Or then, like, there was, like, a black guy and he's like, oh, this is my son. He cat. He. Oh, you've seen him on Tick Tock. He counted to a million one time. You're like, I don't give a kid.
Glenny Balls
Asking you for money.
Theo Von
Yeah. Oh, no, that. This is the best, though. But, yeah, they're like, hey, will you just do a video of my son? Just you guys count to 20 together. So I'm like, dude, I don't give.
Glenny Balls
A fuck, dude, I'll do ten.
Theo Von
Yeah, dude, I'll do five with this kid, but I want to go sit back down. But the craziest thing that was happening at Power SAP was that the boxer was Crawford. Terrence Crawford was there. And he has a couple of beautiful young children. I think they were his children.
Glenny Balls
I think they were, too, because they were around him.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Most of the night, unless he was by us.
Theo Von
Yeah. He was like. And the kids would come up to you, and they'd be like, hey, give me a hundred dollars. Right?
Glenny Balls
But then you were talking to somebody else, and I was talking to the kid, and I said, oh, sorry, what are you asking him? And he just goes, oh, I lost a bet. I want to see if I could have a hundred dollars.
Theo Von
But then at a certain point, I didn't bet with him, right. Because I don't know him, and he's a child or whatever. And then he comes back a little while later, and he's like, pay up. Pay up, son. He said, this kid six here. And there was three of them, like a six, maybe a eight and a nine. And they're like, pay up or whatever. Or, pay up, son. Pay up. So now I'm like, yeah, there's. Here's Carver with his hammer right there.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, I think it was the one on the right. It was him on the right.
Theo Von
And so anyway, now you're like, well, I can't. I have to pay. Like, what is. What if this kid goes back to his dad, one of the greatest fighters in the world, and goes, dad, this guy lost a bet to me and won't pay it to me.
Glenny Balls
Dude. Dude, that's. It's so scary to think about, too. Like, Terence Crawford could kill both of us so easily and so easily.
Theo Von
All that kid has to go do is dad. This guy's being. That's all it needs for a dad to get Activated.
Glenny Balls
And we're like, fatherhood's gonna kick in. And then who's done? You and I guess me. Because I would think by proxy.
Theo Von
Oh, we're eating charcuterie through a freaking bag.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
We're sipping it through a colostomy. B. Ew.
Glenny Balls
I can't have. I can never have that happen. Man, that would be sad.
Theo Von
Oh, it was so sad. So, yeah, I had to give each one of these kids like $40 and I'm like, these kids are hitman. And they were going to every person in there. I bet those kids made six racks in there.
Glenny Balls
Did you actually give them the money?
Theo Von
Yeah. What the hell are you gonna do? The one kid had freaking cornrows.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
Yeah. Here. Have a great time.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, I hope. Yeah.
Theo Von
Good luck.
Glenny Balls
It was a big one for him. He got to see some slaps, made some money. He was on the clock.
Theo Von
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Glenny Balls
You can even go to the cab.
Theo Von
Yeah, I think I'm, I'm like 95 sure. Allegedly it was the same dude. I mean, his head was swollen and he looked like it had to be.
Glenny Balls
Their face were so red.
Theo Von
And he got into the Uber, showed up, he gets in through the trunk of it. I'm like, this guy is.
Glenny Balls
Their brain's got to be destroyed. I just got everything about it. I don't. How do they train? Who do they train with?
Theo Von
Who do they hit?
Glenny Balls
How does it. Because if you're, if you're training with a guy, you're taking the hits. How could you not then want to be the hitter as well? So who are you training on?
Theo Von
That's a good point.
Glenny Balls
Who's the one just taking the hits? Just them in training?
Theo Von
Yeah. Dude, if you're just doing. Hitting was. Yeah. What guys you, like, y' all come over there and let you hit me 15 times so you can practice. But, yeah, I won't hit you back. I'll just chill out.
Glenny Balls
Like, how could you not also want to be in Barra's lap?
Theo Von
Yeah. So, dude, second slap into it, it looks like you've been fucking eating wasps or something. It's like your whole face is swollen.
Glenny Balls
And some of the guys were getting hit up high, like, in the eye area. One guy was taking chin because they were calling the fouls, too, that they didn't get hit in the head. Seems scary close to hit. I. I was terrible.
Theo Von
It's just crazy. And the one guy that was getting in the Uber one time, he's like, yeah, man, I'm going to catch a movie with my girl or whatever. And I was like, like, what the.
Glenny Balls
You better sleep.
Theo Von
Yeah, you better, dude. Anything, actually. And I was like, dude, anything that keeps you awake for three hours sounds good to us right now. Dude, I hope it's a long. I hope it's a damn time. Do not rest.
Glenny Balls
Godfather one and two. But I mean, dude, it was a fun time. It was. It was really cool. I enjoyed it. It was. It was very cool.
Theo Von
It was, man, shout out to. To Nicole that helped us get over there and have fun. And they have, like. It is fun. Like, you're going in there and there's all these different, like. Like, people that you've seen from, like, different things online. Tick tock. Everything.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, Max Crosby was there. It's cool to meet Cheryl Hines.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
She was such an angel. I was so scared to say. Big fan. I felt. I felt bad because she was hanging, but I'm a huge curb guy, so I was like. I was. She was one person. I will say that. Like, me and Caleb's job, we do meet a lot of famous people. I didn't know she was coming when I started. I was like, wow. Kind of took me back a little bit. Like, I've just. I've just watched her my whole life, so I was like, oh, my God. Cheryl Hunt.
Theo Von
Yeah. I've never seen curvier enthusiasm, but I know people love it so much. I'll probably watch it when I get married or something.
Glenny Balls
But good show. 12 seasons, though. It's a long haul.
Theo Von
Really?
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I just redid it a few months ago. I decided to do a full rewatch.
Theo Von
At this age. Yeah, do something else, man. You can watch this later.
Glenny Balls
I know. I mean, something to give him, like. Like a Monday night. I got nothing to do. I'll watch a show.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Think about doing a Sopranos rewatch. I haven't watched watch Sopranos in a long time. Honestly.
Theo Von
You should do that in a theater and have people come. Have like a food experience for people.
Glenny Balls
Wow, that's a good idea. Kind of like our idea we were talking about at breakfast the other day. Me and Caleb's idea. I don't know.
Theo Von
Yeah. You and Caleb need an Airbnb.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. And then we. For the record being Caleb, we're thinking about starting an Airbnb empire in three different cities and making it our own experience in each Airbnb. I don't know. I don't know if I will do it, but we may try.
Theo Von
It'd be great. And, like, have, like a confessional in it where people that are going there. If it's like a bachelor party, a bachelor that can go in there and give a nice message to the Bachelor or Bachelorette. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
That confessional idea for me was a great idea.
Theo Von
You guys could compile those and make that, like, part of it and part of the experience, too, that you get this back. We get a video of the. Of your weekend of just people popping in and saying nice things. Stuff like. That's important.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Almost like. I agree, people don't say enough nice things to people. It's nice when people just are just saying, like, every now and then. I'm going to start doing it to you, too. Every now and then. If it's like a Sunday and I'll maybe a little buzzed having some drinks with my friends and I'm in a good mood, I'll just text people and be like, hey, Mission, hope all is well. You're a good guy. You're a stud.
Theo Von
I think you do a really nice job of that, man. You make people feel super welcome. I think, you know, you're like a welcome mat with black olives on the edges of it.
Glenny Balls
Oh, I appreciate that. That's the Greek side of me.
Theo Von
But that's good.
Glenny Balls
I mean, speaking of that, I got. I gotta commend you. I mean, same to you. You're so, like, seeing you this weekend at Power Stop, you're so nice to everybody. So courteous to everybody. The Power Stop, literally, I've never seen. You were like Paul McCartney. You're like a beetle.
Theo Von
Really?
Glenny Balls
You're so nice to everybody.
Theo Von
Yeah, I think sometimes I don't notice it unless I start to get, like, super uncomfortable, you know, I don't know. But we had a great time, dude.
Glenny Balls
Great time. Thank you for everything. It was a blast.
Theo Von
Oh, thank you guys. Dude, one of the reasons I went was because you guys were going to be there. I knew it was going to be some of yalls first events. What did you think about the ufc? Because it was your first UFC as well, right?
Glenny Balls
Yeah, it was our first ufc. UFC was fun. It was just, it was a blast.
Theo Von
But what time did y' all show up?
Glenny Balls
We got there at 7, so we were there for the main event. It was, it was really cool to see. I didn't make a little parlay before we got there. And it did lose pretty quickly. I won the first one with that van. Gray haired gentleman thinking like Danish or something.
Theo Von
Dariush.
Glenny Balls
Yes. But then I took Cara France. I loved his vibe at the weigh ins and that was, that was a tough one because his, when he was doing the Waynes with like Haka thing like he was doing, I said, this guy's the man, I gotta take this. And his brother's right behind us too. When he lost, he was getting super into it.
Theo Von
There was some crazy fight. Dude, I saw that one fight. It was Van versus.
Glenny Balls
He did win though, because I remember someone at the way and came up to me before, the day before and was like, you got to bet Van tomorrow. You got to bet Van tomorrow. And I forgot to. And as soon as he won, I was like, oh shit. He came out of the blue, was like just hyping Van up.
Theo Von
Yeah, it was Roy Valver's van. Dude, I'd never seen this. They took. There were times where they knocked each other out and then hit him again so quick that he knocked him back in. Dude, I'd never seen that in my life. I saw it, I swear to God, I saw it. Two times in this match. A guy knocked a guy out and then knocked him right back in. I was like, yeah, he for. I was like, he's. I was like, oh, he did.
Glenny Balls
He came right back. Yeah, I mean the guys are insane. They're. They're sickos and it's so, it's cool to see like how like much respect they have for each other too. Like, it's, it's nuts and it's crazy to see. The whole arena is just huge fight fans and I, I felt kind of weird because I didn't really know anything. Everyone's talking about the strategy of everything, different moves, what they should do. Who do you like? And I'm just like, guys, this is my first time. I've. I don't even, I don't even know who's fighting. Yeah, but it was Fun to see. I've always wanted to go to one. It was very cool to see. I will continue, definitely continue watching the big ones. The big ones are fun.
Theo Von
Yeah. And I think you can get into it. I think one thing that I, that helped me get into it because I. UFC was scary to me at first. Right. I never grew up being able to really like defend for myself or whatever type. So I think just fighting in general, I mean, I've been in some fights, but I wouldn't say I was doing great in them.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
You know, I'm.
Glenny Balls
I've only been one too.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Not a lot. I'm not, not a fighter.
Theo Von
Oh. When I get really old, I'm fighting. The second I go to a senior care center or whatever, I'm first. Dude I get in that comes up to me getting loud or whatever. Even if he's lost and he's just loud because he can't hear him, dog.
Glenny Balls
Done.
Theo Von
He's going down, bro.
Glenny Balls
Done. That's it for him. He's had a long. He's had a long life. Done.
Theo Von
But that's going to let everybody know what everybody else in there, Henry, whoever else lives in that, that I'm there.
Glenny Balls
You think you're going to go to a senior care facility when you're older?
Theo Von
Yeah, I might go when I'm younger. Dude. Caleb lives at a senior center.
Glenny Balls
He did 50. 50 and over, I believe.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
He lived in a 50 and over building, which is good for him because he like. I mean he likes to hang when he's home. So there's nothing else you could do really?
Theo Von
No. Relax. Learn a new game.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I think he had one room that he called his office and then he. But he was right on the beach too, so it was a nice location. You can walk around. Lily on the beach. I walk here.
Theo Von
So nice. We go out to the pool over there and it's a lot of like sun dried Hebrews kind of with like neck, neck Jordan and Italians and Greeks.
Glenny Balls
But that's pretty much it. Just Hebrews and Italian like in his area. In that area of Florida, Delray Beach. I call it the Six Borrow. It's basically all New York. It's only New Yorkers. And it's so fun. Like you get old Italian guys from like from Brooklyn there. I'll be at the bar with them and I'll just be like, where are you from? You think you look kind of like Nebraska, like you're from like Nebraska or something. They get somewhere like, what, are you kidding me? Benson. But Born and raised. They freak out. It's one of my favorite things to do. They're just. They're just the best. They're such funny people. I love them. They're such ridiculous human beings.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. Being down there is a good time, man. That's a beautiful area. It gets so hot, though, this time of year.
Glenny Balls
I love the water, man. Sometimes I just. There's something special about just being in the water. I'm such a fan of it.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. Well, I think that a lot of people believe that life started right out of the water. It kind of makes sense. We kind of seem like something the ocean left or.
Glenny Balls
I don't know.
Theo Von
Yeah. I wonder if God, like. Because you have to have water to make anything. Dude, look at. Probably most recipes use water, everything. So for sure, like, God made us with water, so obviously. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I think I remember for some reason. Remember the movie War of the Worlds that came out, like, 20 years ago? Tom Cruise, alien movie, ruined my life. I was terrified the hell out of me. It was an alien attack movie. But at the end, they find out that they started saying how everything starts in water and water. I think, well, that was signs, actually. And water is like, how all this started. Like, how they fought the aliens. But that's also in science, in the signs. They're also. The aliens are anti water as well.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah.
Glenny Balls
So I'm maybe mixing up my Alien movies.
Theo Von
Well, remember, like, a few months ago, they're like, aliens are in the water now. Nobody even gives a. People are just out there.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
Lazy rivers. And I was like. I was looking the other day. Some kids are lazy.
Glenny Balls
We gotta go to a lazy river. We've been talking about. What are you talking about?
Theo Von
They're.
Glenny Balls
Oh, man.
Theo Von
We got cyborgs in the deep end, homie.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, Someone I did see the other day. I saw a tree about the Jersey drones, too. What happened to that?
Theo Von
Oh, dude, that.
Glenny Balls
What happened to that?
Theo Von
I think that was just a new Papa John's delivery swarm or whatever. That was just Jersey. Mike's trying a new.
Glenny Balls
For three weeks, we had the lights going on in New Jersey. I knew people that saw him.
Theo Von
Like, really?
Glenny Balls
Yeah, I'm pretty. One of my buddies, his frat brother from college, is a cop in Tom's River, New Jersey. And he was like, texting them. Like, I'm seeing these things. They're here.
Theo Von
Did the key. Well, why don't you fucking shoot at him or something? You're a fucking cop. He's just texting his buddies. You're doing the same thing we're doing.
Glenny Balls
I'm not straight at him.
Theo Von
What do you mean you're. Who's gonna say I saw somebody attack?
Glenny Balls
Are we gonna say the Toms River Police Department gonna take out the alien drones? Yeah, dude, all he does is Tom's river pd, bro.
Theo Von
They hit dingers.
Glenny Balls
It's like really five guys on the store, on the force.
Theo Von
Dude, whatever. We cheer for those little bastards when they won the World. Yeah. Series.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, their World Series. Little League World Series home.
Theo Von
Hit a ball at one of those drones.
Glenny Balls
Frazier. Yeah, yeah.
Theo Von
You think the very least I could just hit a frickin fly ball and take out a couple of drones. Well, especially like the fact that there's. If it's aliens or whatever that they're spying on New Jersey. I'm like, dude, yes, get some Jersey, but get like a charcuterie of America. Get some other places as well. She just don't think that everybody is, you know, you know, has a side hustle doing trading cards or whatever.
Glenny Balls
That's. That is very New Jersey. It's such, it's such a creepy thing though, thinking about like aliens and if that exists, you know, it's actually a very weird thing to me too. What's your take on like supernatural stuff?
Theo Von
Supernatural? Like, what do you mean?
Glenny Balls
Like one of my. One of my. So one of my best friends is Scott and we call him Sal. I don't know why we call him Sal. We call him Sal. Anyway, he was here actually in Nashville on a bachelor party like three years ago. And true, like he's a normal person. He's one of my best friends. Truly to this day claims that like they came home from the bar one night, he was asleep and there was like some sort of entity like over him, looking at him and he was like. I remember he came home the next day and like we got lunch and he was telling us like this thing is real. We saw it multiple times and it's almost like freeing or like feels good because I know that stuff exists and now I know like God is real is what he said. And he's completely normal guy. Did he stands by it.
Theo Von
Wow. Did he bring a chick home? Maybe it was. He just brought a tall chick home with him.
Glenny Balls
He's had a. He said it was tall. He did say it was a tall.
Theo Von
Really.
Glenny Balls
But some of that shit's super scary, man. Like I recently had. I was in Los Angeles probably less than a year ago and you know, like staying and we rented a house in the hills and the hills for me Is very scary. I don't like the Hills. It's very like, I'm secluded and away from everything. It's just staying there in general freaks me out. And I was there with one of my producers and he was lining at like 1am and I was. I landed at like 6. And I went to this house. I didn't realize we booked it so far into the hills. It was almost under the Hollywood sign.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah.
Glenny Balls
And it was. We got there and I was like, this place is terrifying. Look. Nothing like the pictures. Was a nice house, but it was like, almost like 70s themed. Like, the pool wasn't even hot. It was cold.
Theo Von
And then like Vince Neil died here or whatever.
Glenny Balls
Like he's alive there still. But that. That's what ruined like Charles Manson. All that ruined the Hills for me. It freaks me out. So I'm in there. I'm sitting there in my bed, just in a pretzels like this, freaked out. And I kid you not, I hear the loudest boom out of the blue. Don't know what it is. Had no idea what it was.
Theo Von
It wasn't those Costco dudes. It was it aj.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, it was. It was.
Theo Von
It was big.
Glenny Balls
It was big. Big aj. And the next thing I know, the Rizzler's there.
Theo Von
That guy. Dude, the crazy part is the Rizzle doesn't even know Big aj. The whole thing's unreal.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. So many people think they're. That he's Big AJ's child.
Theo Von
He's just like a fifth grader or something. Or fourth. He had held back, allegedly. And then they're like kind of this Jewish powerlifting family.
Glenny Balls
I actually had the. One of your shows recently.
Theo Von
He was in the audience and he came up on stage. Very nice guy. But also, dude, he. He was drinking soda at like almost 10:00pm I'm like, yeah, I saw you.
Glenny Balls
Saying that at Craig's. But then on Danny McBride's episode.
Theo Von
Yeah, it's like he. I was like, what time's your bedtime? And he's like, you know, he gave me one of those, like, whenever he.
Glenny Balls
Gets tired is when the Rizzler goes to sleep.
Theo Von
He said, big money, don't sleep. I was like, what?
Glenny Balls
How much money do you think the Rizzler has? It's got to be multiple millions, I think, right?
Theo Von
You think so?
Glenny Balls
I. He's like the most famous person on the Internet.
Theo Von
It's a great point. And he does like a children. Is he working in a children's market? He's kind of edging into adult marketing.
Glenny Balls
Though I wonder if kids even like, are fans of him. I think it's more of adults just enamored with him. He's so gorgeous. He's unbelievable.
Theo Von
He's definitely. I like that. He's just himself, right? Yeah, yeah. He got up on stage the other night and answered a couple questions for us.
Glenny Balls
I think I've been learning to. I've been seeing videos of him. It seems like he's getting more confident in like speaking and stuff, which is nice because he's literally just a nine year old kid.
Theo Von
Yeah, yeah, that's what I was hoping. I was like, well, let's get him up here and at least get a little bit of practice in front of, you know, a random night and. Yeah, it was great, man. That was great to see him.
Glenny Balls
Anyway, hear this boom. I don't even investigate. I'm terrified. I'm going to meet a few buddies at Barney's Beanery and I'm like, you know what, I'm just going to go. I'm not coming back home till my producer lands at 1am So I got to occupy myself until he lands. This is no way I'm going back there alone. So I go to the. I met. Barty's been reading me for like seven hours because I refuse to go home. Finally he picks me up. We go in the house, I go to bed. I close the door. It was the mirror on the back of the door. Just. That's when I realized what it was. Just fell by itself. It was on like six screws. Just fell by itself, bro. No, didn't break. No idea why. It just. I was literally sitting in the bed. It was where that TV is. Just fell out of blue. And I was like, this is not for me.
Theo Von
Too much up there.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, I'm not into. Not into the supernatural stuff. There's been certainly other times in my house.
Theo Von
Oh, well, that's not that. I mean, that's pretty supernatural, but that's also just bad drywall probably. I mean, that could be a mix of things, right?
Glenny Balls
I think my house is haunted. I think.
Theo Von
Well, yeah, but that's. Do you.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, actually. So my buddy claims he did this in like the third grade. My friend Frank, I don't know if it's him or not or like my parents told him to tell me this to ease my mind.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah.
Glenny Balls
But literally in my attic, I'm pretty sure there's something carved that says like darkness is here on the wall. Which I don't, I don't like. I've always wondered if Someone's getting it gotten into my attic.
Theo Von
Oh, dude, I went into my attic, dude. Yeah, I went into my attic not long ago and was like, who's up here? Like, because first of all, the way they have an attic set up, it's the scariest thing ever, dude. Because first of all, you have to find a square on the ceiling of your. Your regular home, right. And it has a string hanging out of it. So obviously your attic is go. It's that time of the month in your attic, Right.
Glenny Balls
Always want to hear a bad thing about my attitude. The door to get into it is in my room, my childhood bedroom. So it's right there. Yeah, that's the way to get to the attic. And on top of that, we, growing up, we used to be a big Halloween family. So you would go all out for Halloween. Yeah, there's like a old witch up there. We still have this witch. Like a full sized witch. She's green, she's got a huge schnoz. So every time I walk up there, she's just staring at me. They're all. It's all up there. All my jerseys that I had when I was a kid. My witch. It's. It's a scary place.
Theo Von
Well, it's a very scary setup because first of all, you have to find that place and if it's in your childhood room and. And that means just like there's this open portal to like, scary pieces of the holidays that we keep in our attic.
Glenny Balls
Right, Exactly.
Theo Von
So first of all, you have to find that cable thing you pull on it. Right. Or sometimes there's even like a stick that's in a closet, this little hook. You have to find that. It's an insane thing. And it's. They built the whole contraption. It's literally like a pul. Like the earliest Pilates thing that they ever made. It's from like the 1700s. You can hear the polio leg. Like, it's just like one big polio leg kind of folds out of there. It's the same things that they used to use to make, like, Forrest Gumps.
Glenny Balls
Like leg braces.
Theo Von
Yeah, his leg braces. It's the same part of that makes a ladder that comes down. Maya. And you have to climb up there. And then you get up there. All the hollow. It's like there's a snowman that's looking at you. Right? There are. There's a vibe. Yeah. Like there's Halloween. It's just all the holidays are sitting right there, waiting.
Glenny Balls
That is an interesting thought. That all the holidays are right there and it's scary.
Theo Von
And I have turkey. And they all live up there when you're not. And it's like they all stopped and it's just like. And I'm like, who's up here? And you just hear bells will be ringing.
Glenny Balls
That sounds kind of nice.
Theo Von
Yeah. Yeah. Like, okay. Just making sure everybody's getting along up.
Glenny Balls
Everybody's good. It's almost your time. And they. That's big. They're up three months in a row. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, bing bang, boom. So there's nine months of nothing. Nine months of sleep.
Theo Von
No. But then you have the Easter egg. But he's like, I'm hot. Nicks. They're all just up there having a.
Glenny Balls
Good time there on the fourth. It's long. It's a big thing. That's a fun idea to think about. All the holidays hanging out.
Theo Von
Oh, they're all just hanging out up there in your attic, dude. Dude. And then there's Black History Month. They're like, what's up, Santa? Wet him. Hose it. You're like, okay, this is getting. This is getting a little turned. But hey, have a good time, guys.
Glenny Balls
As long as it's getting turned, as long as they're having fun. Their body, their choice, they're popping off, dude.
Theo Von
That's it.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
When it comes to like, yeah, Santa, Frankenstein, whoever. Your body, your choice.
Glenny Balls
Totally. And dude, I'm telling you, I have a witch up there. There's a legitimate green witch. It's a life size witch. Of course it's horrifying. I haven't been up there and my heart's almost beating a little bit thinking about the attic. The attic's a scary thing.
Theo Von
The attic is so scary. I had to go up the other day in my house and I was like, how do I even. Where is the attic? And first like, oh, shit, that's where it is. Because every now and then I'll hear something up there. And I'm like. And for the first two months, I didn't even care. I'm like, if the guy's up there, however, he's coming in and out. He's obviously passive. I've been hearing it for two months. He's not trying to attack or whatever unless he's up there plotting. But he would be louder. You know, he'd have a chalkboard going. I would hear something, you know, I'd hear like, you know, him watching John Gruden YouTubes or something. I would hear, oh, that would be nice. I would hear some strategy, though.
Glenny Balls
You know, Spider 2 I banana just in the back of your ear. But yeah, it's an interesting thing, man. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about all the supernatural stuff. I hope ghosts aren't real, but then I hope they are. Because if they are, that means God's real. Yeah.
Theo Von
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Glenny Balls
Yeah, I think it kind of goes hand in hand because, like, that's just one thing I always say. Like, I don't even. I don't know anything about how the universe was created, but even the Big Bang theory wasn't that few, like, particles or chemicals coming together and exploding.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Like, how do those chemicals get there? How did those particles get there in the first place?
Theo Von
There's the first meth lab. Really?
Glenny Balls
Yeah, yeah, that was the first. Like, how did those first things come together, though? It's a crazy thought to think about.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Like, when did it start? No one will know.
Theo Von
It's crazy. It's definitely interesting. And then they allow us to show up and mill around us, loiter through life, just, like, traveling by having some bruschetta, you know what I'm saying? Watching the genocide and then, you know, trying to find a nice dis. And then the, like, commercials during the genocide. It's like, nothing goes with this mass slaughter like a Pinot Noir, you know? You know, you're like, God, what has happened to us? Very sad times in a lot of ways. But. But, yeah, man. But you still have to live your life, right? And it's interesting. But then you're like, is Satan just amongst us? Like, we treat each other human beings? We're all. Instead of just being like, hey, look how crazy it is. We're all living together on this magical Christmas ornament of the Lord that got hung in outer space.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
We're here shooting each other. Like, imagine if you saw a Christmas tree and you see a beautiful ornament. It's the most beautiful ornament there is. And you go. And you look really close, right? Like, you zoom in, like you do. And like a Google Maps for a Christmas ornament. The most beautiful one that exists. It's like a diamond in the sky. And you look at it and you're like, holy. They are gunning each other down on this thing.
Glenny Balls
Stop that. Yeah.
Theo Von
You're like, why?
Glenny Balls
This is supposed to be an ornament. It's supposed to be. There's no bad things that happen in snow globes.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
And this is it. This is the best snow globe, and it's the best. I feel like we can do better in this snow globe, man. I really believe that. Let's talk about. I do want to. One thing that really struck me over the weekend, man, besides your kindness and sincerity to everyone, was the hash brown you mentioned at the Win, buddy.
Glenny Balls
That was something.
Theo Von
We came down for breakfast Saturday morning.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
And we had a hash brown down there at a restaurant.
Glenny Balls
It was called Tabloo. I think it is the restaurant tableau.
Theo Von
Look, see if you can bring up a photo of the hash brown.
Glenny Balls
It was like a little baby hash brown, too. It wasn't big at all, but it was thick. And I got a. I've been doing this a lot when I'm traveling. I've just been waking up, going to, like, a diner, hotel, bar, and just getting two eggs, sunny side up, toast, bacon, easy. Boom. This came with a hash brown, and that was a damn good hash brown. It was. It was this big. It wasn't even large, but it was so creamy. Yeah, it was perfect. It was fantastic. That's one of my favorite things, is a nice. Just breakfast hash brown as well.
Theo Von
Yeah. The inside tasted like it had kind of almost been cooked in a sauna. In a way. It was very perfect. It had a light. What was the spice? Now you bring it up. Let's get that. Let's see that.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I don't even know if it's, like, by. It's on the menu by itself. It may just be coming with the.
Theo Von
That was the menu. Just go down.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Because I just got the. It was three eggs. Any kind. I think it was Tabloo breakfast is what I got. They don't even give. Yeah, okay. That's what it is. Tabloo potato.
Theo Von
Ooh. The tableau potato.
Glenny Balls
That must be what they call it. They don't even call it a hash brown because it's too classy to be a Hash brown. It's just a tableau. Potato. And, boy, was that a hash brown.
Theo Von
It was a hash brown.
Glenny Balls
There they are.
Theo Von
Is that it? Yeah, it was. I couldn't. It was definitely, man. And it had it. I don't know if it had a rosemary, a slight chive. Just like a chive had wandered through and just left a few. Few footprints. Nothing heavy.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I mean, that thing was classy.
Theo Von
I like that place to stay at.
Glenny Balls
It was that. That's. I think, clearly, I could say the best hotel in Vegas.
Theo Von
You think so?
Glenny Balls
The Wynn and the Encore. Both awesome. I love both. I mean, I. I'm not. It's not that I really need much to, like, a hotel.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Like, I like the Resorts World there. Resorts World is great. Resorts World's like its own little city. They got everything in there. They got great restaurants, casino, bar, concert venue. But I'm not. I've been coming around on Vegas kind of. I think it's. It's okay. I used to hate it. Now I'm coming around on it.
Theo Von
Yeah. Oh. I mean, I think it's. You know, if you can. If the right things happen and it's. If you can use it to. For good, you know, I think it's perfect.
Glenny Balls
Biggest mistake people think about Vegas is they think it's like here, where you could just go on Broadway and there's a hundred bars, and you could just walk into one and say, oh, I don't like this one. I'm gonna walk to the next one. Vegas, it's so spread out.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
The hotels are. You think the Strip. You think everything's next to each other. It's so goddamn spread out. Like me and my buddies at a bachelor party there two years ago, and I was the best man, so I had to run it. You know when they say, like, Nashville ain't ready. Vegas ain't ready. Vegas could not have been any more prepared. They knew what they were doing. They kicked our ass. It's tough. It's tough to do his whole plan, especially when you're roaming around with 15 guys.
Theo Von
That's impossible.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Thank you to Alex and Drew. They let me bring in the chainsaw, Let me bring 15 Italian men to one of their shows, and that was the highlight of the weekend. But you can't bring 15 guys anywhere.
Theo Von
You haven't. I don't see that kind of troop support since World War II. I know.
Glenny Balls
It was.
Theo Von
Was.
Glenny Balls
It was. And the Italians were on the losing side of that, too. It was. It was a bad loss. It was a bad Weekend. But they. That was the highlight of the weekend. They did let us bring 15.
Theo Von
Very kind. That's kindred activity right there.
Glenny Balls
I mean, that's one of the worst ass you could possibly ask somebody. Hey, do you mind if me who? We're not even that close. Come and bring 15 guys and bring 15 dudes. That's zero boobs and just 15 penises.
Theo Von
Oh, man, that's like a. Yeah, it's not even.
Glenny Balls
Like we said, oh, it's a 15 of us. We're bigger than like five chicks with us. It's just 15 guys.
Theo Von
Yeah. Oh, it's just a dago invasion or whatever.
Glenny Balls
Exactly. We stormed the beaches like.
Theo Von
Yeah, like, just like storming the beaches of a fogging Buca to bepa. You know, that's what it is. That's the dago invasion. Can you say dago or not? It's bad.
Glenny Balls
I mean, we can bleep out a month. No, say they go, I'm not going to say. I'm 75. 75% Italian. I'm giving you dago.
Theo Von
You are?
Glenny Balls
Yeah. You got dago Wapa guinea. What's that one day?
Theo Von
Like, it's hot. Have you seen that video?
Glenny Balls
No. Is that an Italian video?
Theo Von
It's somebody watching an Italian person actually burned their hands on a castle.
Glenny Balls
No. Oh, guido's a huge one. That's the classic.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah, Guido's Guido's not even real.
Glenny Balls
Guido's wife, but like Jersey Shore, 2009. That was when guido came in. But guido Wap. Daigo guinea. Yeah, you have it. I'm giving you the D word.
Theo Von
Okay. Dude, I was at a show the other night. Some black guy gave me an N word card.
Glenny Balls
Oh, really?
Theo Von
Yeah, it had my name on and everything. He filled it out for me. It was cool. But I'm like, dude, I. Where you want me to use this? I mean, yeah, maybe at a Buc EE's or something, but like, I don't think you can just use this anywhere. So I don't know. I saved it. I'm gonna show it to somebody and see what they think. But I'm not just gonna make any. Any choices. I'll talk to my neighbors about it.
Glenny Balls
Love that. Yeah, that's something. I think you got it like. Like, you know, and you know, when you get a new apartment or something and they gotta get. They call for references, you got to get. At least five references exist.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah, definitely.
Glenny Balls
Dude, he can't be one guy.
Theo Von
No. I'm gonna have to get Drewy to sign the back of it or something. Yeah, somebody. Dude, I do want to talk about this. I was thinking about was the perfect peanut butter and jelly. O. I was thinking about that.
Glenny Balls
I. I will say I don't have too much experience in the peanut butter and jelly game. I do love crbles.
Theo Von
Not really. You're, like, uncrustable.
Glenny Balls
I'm. Honestly, this may sound crazy. I do consider peanut butter and jelly is sweet. Like, I'm more of a savory guy. I really am. I don't. Like I was saying, I've just been getting into the jams. I have never. Was never really the biggest peanut butter and jelly guy. Like, going, like, maybe brought it to lunch at school a few times. My big lunch growing up was like, ham and cheese. I've actually been dying for a good. Just classic ham and cheese sandwich.
Theo Von
Yeah. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Ham and cheese. A little mustard.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah.
Glenny Balls
Or roast beef. I used to do roast beef a lot, but then by, like, Wednesday, it was great. So you get. You get roast beef for the week. Monday. Fantastic. And then it just dwindles as the day goes by.
Theo Von
Roast bee gives up fast, you know?
Glenny Balls
I love roast beef, though. It's one of my favorite things. Me and my dad, sometimes I just go to our local deli and get like, a pound of roast beef and bread and just make our own sandwiches. And a ball of fresh mozzarella. Fantastic. Fresh mozzarella. Salt, pepper, mayo. Boom. Maybe some hot peppers if I'm feeling spicy.
Theo Von
God, dude. Yeah. I think I just. I. I want to be. I want to. Like, sometimes I. I. Psych. I just got to get more engaged with my life. It's like, you know, I eat only two things every day mostly.
Glenny Balls
You were telling us down the other day. What was it again?
Theo Von
I eat a smoothie that's pretty good. And then I also do a quesadilla. Almond flour quesadillas. There's these almond flour quesadillas that I really like is just like, simple ingredients, nothing. And then cheese on there. It's that fake cheese, like the Mexican shredded cheese or something, you know? And it's not. It's like plywood or something. It's not even real cheese or whatever, you know? I mean, a lot of Mexican people even use it as a construction, as like a. Some sort of a base in a construction. Yeah, yeah. It's definitely like. It's a polymer or whatever it's called, you know? Anyway, I'll put that. And then I'll have some ground beef I cooked up and then another layer of cheese a Little bit of sea salt, another almond quesadilla thing.
Glenny Balls
Nice. I hope that becomes, like, the McConaughey sandwich. Remember that clip that went crazy a few months ago? McConaughey was on Two Bears, I think, talking about how he makes a tuna salad, and it just went crazy. Everyone was, Everyone was making them a Conjay tuna salad.
Theo Von
Yeah, I haven't. Yeah, I, I, I just want to up my game and get some better recipes. Maybe I would like to. Maybe I'll get a wife that likes to cook or a girlfriend that really likes to cook and can take me down some different roads like that, you know, like a motherly type of girlfriend that's, you know, just like, who likes to cook and watch and our whole family can eat together or whatever, but. Oh, peanut butter and jelly. This is what My grandmother used to do this. And she didn't like me, but I do remember she made this for me a couple times.
Glenny Balls
She made that.
Theo Von
She would take a piece of bread, and I like wheat bread if I ever have to have peanut butter and jelly, because white bread just got. Something happened to it. The basic white bread, bunny bread or whatever. It just, like, it's better when you're younger, I think.
Glenny Balls
I never, I've never done the wheat on peanut butter and jelly. I think I feel like if you're going for PB and J, you should just go for the white, because wheat's supposed to be healthier for you.
Theo Von
Right? It's just brown white bread.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I remember some of the healthy kids in school used to have the wheat bread. And I was like, these.
Theo Von
Well, my mom was crazy like that. My mom would, like, never talk to us, but then make us eat. Like, you know, she would be like, oh, we're having, like, Lambton. Like, my mom was very bizarre. She'd be like, yeah, she would have no communication with us, but then be like, but tonight we were completely poor. But she'd be like, but tonight we're going to have F. And we'd all, we'd all hope she'd be like, emotional connection. Right. But it was always like, French onion soup. So it's just every time you're like. And it was like, once a month, she would do that. She'd come home from work, like, once a month, and we'd have a babysitter who was either deceased or, like, couldn't even. We had this one lady that couldn't even talk. Well, I think she'd been in, like, a. I don't know if she'd had a stroke Right. When we met her or whatever. She was with us for two weeks. And I think she had a stroke, like the day she got to us. And for two weeks we had no clue. It was just like playing charades with this, like, sweet older black lady. We're like, okay.
Glenny Balls
You know how old you were for that?
Theo Von
No idea. Probably fucking eight or whatever. Anyway. But my mom. Yeah, that's how she was. She would, like, not talk to us, but then she would, like, get us together and she'd be like. And we'd have all these issues or, like, desperate need for affection. She'd be like, but tonight, split pea soup with ham. And we'd be nice.
Glenny Balls
Yes. So using the food to bond. Yeah, my parents have done that too.
Theo Von
It was so excited, dude. Oh, for sure. I'm sure. I'm surprised shirt doesn't have some spare gorgonzola in the pocket, you know?
Glenny Balls
Yeah. My parents used to supersize me. They would give me the super Siiz McDonald's and I was, yeah, that's crazy. I know it's bad. I don't want to make them sound like bad parents.
Theo Von
Oh, they're beautiful people.
Glenny Balls
But when I was a child, I was having super sized McDonald's bed.
Theo Von
You were the first Rizzler then.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
Yeah, dude. I saw that he had. He had two Jimmy Johns. He's like, I don't even think I'm going to eat one of these. I was like, all right, dude, do whatever.
Glenny Balls
You can afford it.
Theo Von
Yeah, you want. But still. But my grandmother would make. She would put butter on one piece, jelly on top of that, and then peanut butter on the other piece. So one piece had butter, just spread butter base and then jelly. And that was, for some reason, so good.
Glenny Balls
Beautiful. It's already good. And then you add in some butter and we. Butter's welcome to any party.
Theo Von
Yeah. And it was, you know, it was like normal, real salted butter. Like regular ass butter.
Glenny Balls
Oh, that sounds so good.
Theo Von
Not like that stuff. It's like, I can't believe it's not.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, the margarine.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Because even that's what I've been saying. Like, when I've been having the jam at these restaurants, I've been doing butter down first and then the jelly. And it's, it's, it's good. Butter's just. I wish butter was zero calories. That would make my life a lot easier. Butter. I always say if I could do a zero calorie food, it would be rice. If I could do make rice, zero calories. I Would be pretty hot.
Theo Von
Is it high calorie as rice?
Glenny Balls
It's not high calories. Like, it's supposed to be good for you, but I could just. It's not like it's horrible for you, but I could, like, eat chicken and rice every meal if I could. I love chicken and rice.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
And then if it's just grilled chicken and the rice, I think. I think people consider rice remotely healthy, though, because everyone's all these skinny people in the city are eating grain bowls and stuff.
Theo Von
That's a good point. It says right here, while a cup of cooked long grain white rice is around 205 calories, a cup of cooked white rice typically contains around 205 to 242 calories.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
Brown rice doesn't really have that much difference.
Glenny Balls
No. And people think it's so much healthier. That's a little life hack. I do at Chipotle. I ask them for both rices and then you get, like, double the amount of rice.
Theo Von
And they do that.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
Wow.
Glenny Balls
That's one thing I popped in my brain one day. That's real good. I love basmati rice, too. They just said that there's this place in New York, Halal guys. You ever had that? It's actually nationwide now. I bet there's one here.
Theo Von
Boss Marty. I'll be up there next week.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. What are you doing in New York?
Theo Von
We got some podcasts up there next week.
Glenny Balls
Cool. What days? Hey, I'll be around.
Theo Von
You will?
Glenny Balls
Hey, if you want to get. I want to get dinner in a nice Italian restaurant one night. We should.
Theo Von
Dude, I'd love it. Monday or Tuesday. Yeah. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
I literally. Wait. This Tuesday? This Monday and Tuesday.
Theo Von
Yeah. She's gonna be gone.
Glenny Balls
We. We have a Sunday in Charlotte. We're leaving on Monday. That makes me sad. I literally just. Actually, Caleb just came and stayed with me and my family for two days in my childhood home, and I brought him to my favorite restaurant and he loved it.
Theo Von
And it's called halal, guys.
Glenny Balls
Called Luigi's.
Theo Von
Luigi's. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. It's in. So it's in New Hyde Park. It's right on the border of Queens on Long island, so it's not too far from the city. It's probably like an hour from. 45 minutes from. From the city, but it's right on the border of Queens and Long Island. Yeah, I bought. Caleb bought like, nine of my friends, my parents and Caleb. We went a few months, a few weeks ago. It's great.
Theo Von
Oh, we owe them a visit then. I'd love to go there sometimes.
Glenny Balls
Dude.
Theo Von
I went to this place the other day after one of the UFC fights, and I'm kind of after the UFC fights, Joe Rogan invited me to go to Dana, right? So I'm like, oh, yeah. You know, so I. I got to go. And I'm definitely name dropping, but it was just exciting. And John Anick and DC Daniel Cormier were there. No way.
Glenny Balls
I saw Rogan post a picture of it.
Theo Von
Actually, there's a place called Gaetano's. It was, like, in Henderson. Henderson.
Glenny Balls
I love the name of places. Not of Italian places. Not in New York. You just name, like, Gaetano's or Paisan's.
Theo Von
Or New York Pizza and Dean Thomas and the guy Nick, I think, was the owner of it. Dude, they gave me a. They gave me a ravioli. Yeah, it was just like a. It was like a shingle from the gods, brother. Like a shingle fell off a roof of a. Of a home or one of the gods, a summer home, and just travel through a cloud of sauce and land it right in my jaw, brother.
Glenny Balls
Oh, my God. The way you're talking, dude, you're very good, actually, at talking about food.
Theo Von
Really?
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Like the way you were explaining that hash brown, that potato the other day at breakfast, I remember saying, telling you at breakfast, you're good at explaining food.
Theo Von
Really?
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
Thanks, man.
Glenny Balls
You're very good at explaining food. Ravioli, which is a nice little piece of cloud heaven. I like a lobster ravioli. That gets me going.
Theo Von
I don't even know what was in this. They could have been anything. They could have had ground up pieces of my sister in there. I still would have loved it. It was just so good. It was so good. I could. It was so good, I couldn't even talk right after. I couldn't even tell the guy how good it was. I just suddenly, like. I just, you know, I was like my babysitter when I was young, you know, just at the bottom of the stairs, just yelling loud, single syllables because blood wasn't going in my brain.
Glenny Balls
Oh, man.
Theo Von
Man. Oh, it's very stroke victim raviol.
Glenny Balls
Did they just bring out stuff?
Theo Von
They brought out a few things. Well, Rogue Rogan had been there over the years, and he loved this place, right? So he's like, I want to take you to this place because. And that's the Italian. And Joe, like, I always. I do realize that, like, anytime been in dinner with him, he's always the one. Like, no, try that. Like, that never leaves a real Italian dude.
Glenny Balls
No, I I. That's my favorite. I love forcing people to eat food that they enjoy. It's a nice thing. It's fun to see people react in such a. In such a way. I love bringing them to places that they normally don't have. I love doing it. And. Yeah, Rugen is Italian Jersey, I believe. Yeah.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Actually, Boston, maybe. Boston, I think.
Theo Von
I think he grew up in Boston or. Yeah, I. I know he did comedy in Boston. I'm pretty sure he grew up in Boston.
Glenny Balls
But, yeah, like, it. Just fun. Just fun. Like, I'm sure his reaction was great to you having that lovely pillow of.
Theo Von
Ravioli, but there'd be times, like, if I'd be in dinner with him, I'd be almost, like, scared, you know, like, didn't know, like, you know, because it's like. Like those guys are like the UFC comp. I mean, they're like the dream team. Probably like the greatest guy since, like, Brent Musberger and, you know, whoever else. That guy, that. Jim Valvan, whoever, like some of. Or Dick Ginsberg, whoever. Some of those guys.
Glenny Balls
I don't know. Jim Valvano is a basketball coach. Stud, though, from. From the neighborhood. I'm from Queens.
Theo Von
Really?
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Corona, Queens. He's from Corona, Queens. But who. The great Frick. Great Frick. Jimmy V. Legend there he was. But I'm trying to think about the great announcers. Vern Lundquist, people love. I love Sam Rose and he used to do the New York Rangers. He just retired this year. He's a legend. Yeah, he's fantastic. Who are some other classics? I love the dude who does the horse racing. I can't think of his. Larry Colemus. He's a stud. He's a stud. That may be my favorite sports call of all time. Was American Fahrenheit, one of the Triple Crown.
Theo Von
Really?
Glenny Balls
Yeah. And not even the biggest horse racing person. It was just.
Theo Von
Can we hear that?
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I think he's. I think he, like, sounds like American Pharaoh is finally the one. And he does it. He does it perfectly.
Theo Von
He's from another country, I think.
Glenny Balls
He's from America, I would guess.
Theo Von
Yeah. I hope he's all right.
Glenny Balls
He's awesome. He's great. American Pharaoh, Yeah. American Foe has won the Triple Ground. Me and a bunch of my buddies were there. We were like 19 years old because we're 10 minutes from Belmont, from Belmont Park. So we all went. I have a video of it, like, on my phone. Like a phone video of it that I still have. It's sick. But, yeah, that was. That was A cool. That was a cool experience to be out to see the first triple crown in 37 years.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. Oh, that's pretty incredible, huh? Yeah. To witness something that's just so rare like that.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. It's funny. It's funny, too, because two years later, me and my friends also went. And there was another horse, Justified. We left before the race even happened, and he did win the Triple Crown. So we left before the next one because we already saw American Pharaoh. Once you see that you're good. You don't have to. And those days are. There's. There's so many freaking people. It's packed at those Belmont things.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
There's so many people. It was so hot. So we were like, we got it. But good, Ned, that even to beat the traffic we got out here, it's just so packed. Such a packed event. There's like a hundred thousand people at.
Theo Von
The park, and it's like. It's just like a lot of women that, like. It's like the new garden hats or whatever, but now women will come in there with, like the full guard, like an actual, you know, a quarter hectic or on their head or whatever.
Glenny Balls
Like UFO on their head or something.
Theo Von
Yeah. Some broad over here, you know, growing grapes off the back of her ball cap or whatever. You're like, this is insane. You know, it just gets a little too intense or.
Glenny Balls
The ones.
Theo Von
Yeah. The lady, the hat's so big, you can't even get near her. You're like, who the. Who is that?
Glenny Balls
Can't even see your eyes.
Theo Von
Yeah. So bizarre.
Glenny Balls
The track's fun if you pick a good day. Like, I like Saratoga. Ever been to Saratoga? Saratoga's awesome. That's a real fun place. Upstate New York.
Theo Von
I think we have a show in Rochester or something. Oh, really?
Glenny Balls
That's like. I think probably four hours next to that. Rochester's, like, up by Buffalo.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. I've had some good times in Rochester. Almost got hit by a vehicle out there.
Glenny Balls
Really?
Theo Von
Walking home. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
It's where the Gronkowskis are from.
Theo Von
Are they really?
Glenny Balls
Rochester. Birthed the Gronks. Pretty sure of it.
Theo Von
Wow. I just saw a beast.
Glenny Balls
He is.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. I just saw Rob the other day, man.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
So cool. Interesting.
Glenny Balls
He's an unbelievable. I've only been with him the one time. We had him on the show recently, and that may have been up there for one of my favorite videos we've ever shot.
Theo Von
That's what Caleb says all the time.
Glenny Balls
Awesome.
Theo Von
What is Caleb like as a boss? What is Caleb Presley like, funny boss.
Glenny Balls
It is funny as, because, like, you like, like, he's one of my best friends, like, literally in the world. So it's kind of odd that he's my boss now sometimes. He'll get mad at me every now and then. Like, actually, the other day we. We landed in la, me and Kelsey landed and we were both like, you know what? Let's go to Nobu Malibu for lunch. Let's take a little ride up the Pacific Coast Highway. And we went to Nobu Malibu. And we were like, how quickly do you think Caleb's gonna see this on our story and say, oh, spending that money, huh? Like, spending that company money. And then posted it. We're like, you know what we're going to do? We're going to pay for this ourselves. So when he says something, we had this in our back pocket. I wake up to a DM from the next day. He's like, he's like, oh, can't wait to look at this bill. And I was like, hey, bitch. Paid for myself. But we knew it was coming. So it's sometimes like that. That's the one thing sometimes that in the six months he's been my boss, he. He's very good at, like, giving a. Disappointed. Like, oh, I knew you were going to do this thing to me.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah, dude. I've certainly been like that, I think.
Glenny Balls
And I mean, you have to, because. Yeah, you totally have to. Like, there's no reason we should be spending 120 bucks per person on lunch. There's not a reason. So we paid for it ourselves. But we knew he would say something, which he should. But it's the way he's very good at, like, sounding disappointed in me. And I hate when. I hate when he's disappointed in me.
Theo Von
Yeah. But also, dinner, lunching, it goes back to that issue we're talking about that earlier when people are dinner, lunch, it's like, what are you doing? Like, yeah, it's, you know, and it's. It's a blessing, I feel like, to be able to. Dinner, lunch. Like, to have dinner at lunch.
Glenny Balls
Yes, of course. Because that, like, no, Malibu, that's a dinner meal. That's not a lunch meal. Lunch should be a bowl. A bowl from Chipotle. But yeah, and we. We did. And he immediately. He immediately got on us. Not immediately, but that next night.
Theo Von
Yeah, well, it's his job. If he's. Yeah. If he's has to look at the books, he's like, if. Yeah, we're not paying a 400 lunch for the record.
Glenny Balls
Great boss. Big fan of your work, Caleb.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah.
Glenny Balls
I owe that man my life. I always say that.
Theo Von
Oh, well, yeah, dude, you always.
Glenny Balls
He really is the best.
Theo Von
He's one of the most entertaining guys. There he is right there. Disappointed.
Glenny Balls
That was. Yeah, he really is one of the best people in the world.
Theo Von
Another good man. Lost to drugs.
Glenny Balls
I think that was what. That was what. Antonio Brown into cracker of the year. He was very jacked up on that.
Theo Von
Oh, I love that. Yeah, I love that guy.
Glenny Balls
I'm hyped up, but he's the best. I mean, him seeing him even just in person, the way he just talks normally. He's just so fucking funny. Oh.
Theo Von
So entertaining.
Glenny Balls
So unbelievable. Like, when I brought him to my house, he just kept telling me that. He just kept telling me I was unconsensionally Italianing him.
Theo Von
He just. He thinks of the most creative ways to communicate. It's like he almost makes everything in, like, this fun puzzle kind of fight. I mean, both of you do.
Glenny Balls
Like, when I was sitting at breakfast the other day with you two, I'm like, what am I doing with. At this table with these two people? They're too funny.
Theo Von
He is exceptional. And he. That's sweet of you to say, man. He is exceptional to be around. Every time I get around him, I'm like, I wish I could do whatever.
Glenny Balls
And truly, I would probably say my. One of my favorite people to just hang with. He's such a great hang.
Theo Von
He's the best.
Glenny Balls
And I think that is. I always tell him. I tell my mom this, I tell my friends this. I think the best compliment one could get is, oh, that guy's a good hang. And Caleb's great. One of the best hangs. Yeah, he's the man. Big fan of his work. And I think he also think he's one of the funniest people in the world. So, yeah, he's on my funny.
Theo Von
You're gonna keep your job. You're gonna. You guys are. You guys are a tandem. Well, look, you've. I will ask this. You've eaten a lot of ice creams over the years. Is that true?
Glenny Balls
I've actually. I have been whipped creaming recently. I don't know if I should say this to the masses, but in order to hopefully stay in shape, I've been doing whipped cream recently in the bowl. Yeah, I've been putting whipped cream in on Sunday conversation.
Theo Von
More. More whipped cream than ice cream.
Glenny Balls
Recently. I've been doing some whipped cream.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Cause it's just. It's a 2 tablespoons of whipped cream is 15 calories. And if I'm doing ice cream, I'm probably banging out like two pints. And that's like 1200 calories and so much fat. It's horrible. Yeah, it's absurd. Like, I'm doing a big bowl and it's like two pints of like, yeah, Ben and Jerry's. It's a lot of food.
Theo Von
That's a crazy amount of sugar.
Glenny Balls
And if it's in front of me, I'm gonna eat it. So I need to put whipped cream in the meal, in the bowl, because if I'm sitting there for 45 minutes, I'm gonna eat it. So I've been trying to do whipped cream.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
And hopefully it has not ruined the product of the show. I don't think it has.
Theo Von
I don't think so. I think that makes sense. It's like, dude, you can't just be ODing over there. You can't have so much sugar that your eyes won't open far.
Glenny Balls
And actually, I've learned eating ice cream, it's weird. It. It's so much food, but it doesn't fill you up. Like, I'll be hungry right after we're done too. And so it's basically just an extra 1200 calories in the day for like, time if, like, well, what a dinner after. I'll just eat at dinner. It's.
Theo Von
It's a good point.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
Yeah. Well, sugar doesn't really fill you up. A lot of times I feel like, especially. Do you know what I had the other. The other day, and we actually did do a commercial for them. I think at one point it was these masa chips. M A S A. Did you get some of those Trevin? Yeah, I liked them too, man. They're not cooked with seed oils. It's kind of like just like more of like a tangible chip. Yeah. Seed oil free tortilla chips. And at first I was like, oh, you know, these are. They're kind of like a hearty chip. But then I had a couple. I'm like, oh, it kind of fills you up. It just doesn't feel like this addictive thing. Read us eating like, like 2, 000 chips.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
You know, sometimes you open a bag of chips and it's just like every chip, it just has just enough nicotine on it or whatever to get you to the next.
Glenny Balls
Some stuff just gets you, dude. Like. Like a French onion dip. If I have one dip of French onion dip, I'll sit there and eat it.
Theo Von
Really?
Glenny Balls
I love French onion dip.
Theo Von
I would never go near a French. Always scare me. Didn't understand it.
Glenny Balls
Unlike a Super bowl party. Like now I don't even let myself have one because if I have one, I'm in for 100. It's French onion dip. Gets me big time. There's some things I still get perverted over, food wise. And. Ooh, I don't think we've ever had this. This packaged French onion dip.
Theo Von
Yeah, I don't. Yeah. Anything like those, like, cheese dips, all that kind of stuff for, like, at parties. Those middle things in the middle, the finger foods. Yeah. That stuff always kind of creeped me out. But the sandwiches that had the perfect amount of little mayonnaise, a little triangular. Those ham on the white bread. Good.
Glenny Balls
This may be just a food podcast now. We're just talking food all day, and I love it.
Theo Von
It's fine. Dude, food's the best. Well, it's never. Well, they had those kids, the foodie Boys.
Glenny Balls
Oh, the MD Foodie Boys. They were legendary. I just. I'm happy they're popping off, enjoying their food, you know?
Theo Von
Yeah. And it's fun to be that age and just have something unique like that happen in your life for everybody. Like, you know, maybe they're not athletes, and maybe this is their. At. This is their sport.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, that's cool, too. On the. On the left there, it says with Baltimore Ravens. I know. They're MD Foodie Boys. That must be cool. Doing stuff with. At the Ravens facility. Good for them.
Theo Von
Sure.
Glenny Balls
Oh, yeah. Chubb Perm delivering a speech.
Theo Von
Oh, it's Perm.
Glenny Balls
That's what that comment says. Chub Perm, I think.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
I don't know their names. That's cool. Like getting to go to the Ravens facility and everything if you're a multiple person.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. Oh, that's got to be fun, dude. Get to go to the. Yeah, get to go to Raven's facility. Just any. Anything to get you in out of the fentanyl streets.
Glenny Balls
What's up?
Theo Von
Place to hide over there. Their. Their mascot should be like, the fentanyl. A fentanyl bird or whatever. And he's just doing the finny.
Glenny Balls
Oh, man. What's one thing that you like when you did it that a cool experience you've had that you said? Wow, a child. The child version of me would absolutely go crazy for this right now.
Theo Von
Oh, man. I think, oh, I got to do the seventh inning stretch at the Cubs game.
Glenny Balls
Oh, really? That's awesome. That's cool.
Theo Von
That was pretty crazy. Because it happened so fast and it was supposed to be a nice day. And then cold weather came in and it was raining and stuff, so it was kind of like a. You know, and then I was nervous and we'd had a late show the night before, and then we just got into town and then the game got postponed by like 2 hours. Just a lot of like, little things. Yeah. But then they're like, yeah. They kept pushing it back and that was the time I was going to be able to go get a nap in or try and get to a gym or something to kind of get ready for the show that night. But, yeah, that was it.
Glenny Balls
That's cool. I would have been absolutely terrified doing this. Like, I don't know, I don't even know how you, like, do you get nervous or something like that. Because you're a performer, obviously, so you still get some. You still freak you out. Yes. The two hour delay would have killed me then. I would have been terrified.
Theo Von
It was terrifying. So I'm like, what do I do right now? Then I was like, well, I'll just go home and take a nap now. And then we got back, barely made it up the stairs to get in there and sing it. You realize, first of all. Right. When you're about to do this. Oh, it's not a song. It's kind of just like a poem.
Glenny Balls
Oh, take me out to the ball game. Yeah, take me out to the ball. Oh, one, a two, a three.
Theo Von
Take me out to the ball.
Glenny Balls
Oh, this is you singing? Yeah. I didn't realize it was you. Are you trying to do like a Harry Carry impersonation?
Theo Von
No, I just. You can't sing it. It's not a song, is it?
Glenny Balls
If I never get back, then we'll read. You know what's something I think you'll find hilarious? Can you look up? Mets, seventh inning stretch. Lazy Mary. Yeah. So this is that.
Theo Von
This.
Glenny Balls
They do this in the Mets games after the. After Take me back. After taking back to the ball game, they played this, which is hilarious, but the whole. The whole crowd just does this. It's unbelievable. All right, let's start this little Italian song. In the bed game. Every med game after the seventh inning straight, everybody does it and then they do it. Then they do a Billy Joel. Then they do a Billy Joel. Sing along. In the eighth inning, I swear to God.
Theo Von
And you can't see. It's just like this little like.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, it's a little like the Italian emoji.
Theo Von
Yeah, yeah. It's like the Italian hand emoji. Like, yeah, that's a thing. Everybody knows every game.
Glenny Balls
Every game this happens, and then Billy Joel plays in the eighth inning.
Theo Von
That's hilarious.
Glenny Balls
It's unbelievable.
Theo Von
So, yeah, I guess I should have done it better at the Cubs thing.
Glenny Balls
I would have tried to just do Harry Carry impression. I feel like that's all it would have been.
Theo Von
But then it's. I. But then you're like, I don't know. There's so many little things going through your head, and you realize, okay, it's on. And now these people can hear me. And you're like. Because you can't be like, take me out to the ball game. You know what I'm saying? It's not a song.
Glenny Balls
It's a slow, slow. You have to, like, almost speak in slow motion. Like, take me out to the. You can't just kind of take me out to the ball game, guys. Like, take. It's weird.
Theo Von
Let me buy you a drink.
Glenny Balls
T. Pain should do that, right?
Theo Von
You can't. You know, I'm saying, if somebody did T. Pain like that, you're like, what do you. You know, it makes it a poem.
Glenny Balls
T. Pain should redo take me after the ball game.
Theo Von
He's a bed. Like. Yeah. It's just so I. It was just like a lot of learning on the fly, and then you're just grateful to be there, and you don't want to mess up. Like, you don't want to do something that's, like, gonna disrespect the culture, you know?
Glenny Balls
Definitely. And that's. That's a big culture. Baseball in Chicago. It's beautiful. That's one of the best vibes you could possibly get. A good day game. Chicago Cubs. It's fantastic. So awesome.
Theo Von
I used to go, my grandfather was a big Cubs fan, and he'd watch all the games, you know, and he was smoking. Then he had to get his toes cut off or whatever, but he. We knew all the players, dude.
Glenny Balls
So you consider yourself a Cubs fan?
Theo Von
I think I was a Cubs fan for most of my life, probably. I think at heart, I'll always be, you know, I want to see the dove fly, dude. I want to see. You know, I hope they dig up Sean Dunstan and frickin, you know, find out who killed him or whatever. You know, if he's dead, I don't know if he.
Glenny Balls
Is that just an old player. I don't know who shot Dunstan.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. I think.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Yeah.
Theo Von
It's just a rumor, but, yeah. No, I love. Yeah. Growing up as a Cubs. That's all I knew because it was like, Midwest. We would just collect them. And the Cincinnati reds and the St. Louis Cardinals. I don't even know other teams existed, really, you know, Interesting.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, it's. That's so cool for. Interesting thing about too like baseball. I always see, like, people in Nashville. Everyone's always wearing brave stuff because I guess the Braves are just like the team of the South.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
I wish. I never really realized.
Theo Von
I wish they would get a WNBA team here. I think I would get out.
Glenny Balls
And they announced an expansion today. Not to Nashville, to Cleveland, Detroit and Philadelphia.
Theo Von
Ooh.
Glenny Balls
But literally today they announced that me and my friends are saying they should bring one to Nashville.
Theo Von
I think this is a spot to do it.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, Nashville would be awesome. But yeah, I saw actually today Sophie Cunningham said. She just came out and said, I don't think anyone's gonna be excited about Detroit and Cleveland, but those are the three coming.
Theo Von
Yeah. I'm curious to see how much they'll like that. I don't know. I would have picked Nashville as one of the places that I would have picked. I would. If fight enough money. I would like to even invest in something like that. But then that's also kind of crazy. I could just be, you know, I just could just be too big of a Caitlin Clark Aaliyah Boston fan. So maybe I'll just. Maybe it'll be an Indiana Fever fan from afar.
Glenny Balls
Hey, we're champs this year, baby. New York Liberty, y' all are. Our first. Our championship ever. One last year.
Theo Von
Oh, last year. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Stewie in the streets.
Glenny Balls
Beast Inescu.
Theo Von
That was so sick.
Glenny Balls
I used to. I used to go to Liberty games alive.
Theo Von
Did you?
Glenny Balls
Yeah, I remember. I remember there was one time. I don't even think anyone knows this happened one time. The Liberty, in like 2008 or something, played a basketball game in the Arthur Ash tennis stadium. And I went to it.
Theo Von
Wow.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, because my uncle. My uncle used to work at the post office. He would, like, run the group sales for the post office. So he would always get tickets. Everything, like, for Ranger games. A big Ranger hockey fan. So I love the Rangers. So that's how we would go to our Ranger games. But then he got tickets to this. They played in a tennis. In our tennis arena where they do the US Open.
Theo Von
Oh, that's so cool.
Glenny Balls
And I went to that. I used to go to who's I love? Tina Charles. Tina Charles was awesome. She was a beast. And yeah, I used to go to Liberty games a lot, but now they Used to play at the Garden. Now they don't play at the Garden. They play in the Barclays center. And I never. Barclays center is weird to get to. Yeah, it's in Brooklyn. I've only been to Barkley center like, five times in my life.
Theo Von
Yeah, it's fun. People showed up for their parade last year.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, I think it's pretty sick.
Theo Von
Yeah, I love watching. I mean, I'm just such a Fever fan. I've gotten to like some of the other teams, you know, I like. The Valkyries are the expansion team this year. They're doing well. The Aces have kind of struggled. So I think it's an exciting time in the league. League. Caitlin Clark's kind of been in and out this year, though, so she hasn't. I think their team is, I think, right at 500 right now. They have a game tonight.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I saw today. They said the in league players voted her the ninth best guard in the league, which is crazy.
Theo Von
But there's some great guards in the league, though, too. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
WNBA is fun anytime. Anytime sports are on. I'm more happy.
Theo Von
Yeah. Because there's a guy. First of all, I'm like, I can't dunk. Right. So I can relate to all these women, most of them. And if they can, I'm even like, get him out of here.
Glenny Balls
You know what I'm saying?
Theo Von
Like, so that kind of is a little bit much fun.
Glenny Balls
I. I always liked, like, college basketball is fun to watch, like, the women's college basketball, too.
Theo Von
I like watching Kay. I mean, another thing that I love about her, she's also. Whether she's. Even while she's playing, she's also kind of coaching. Like, she's just like, on a couple different levels. She's so competitive. And I love Aaliyah Boston. She's like one of my favorite players. There's so many. I mean, I could sit here and talk about the Indian fear for a long time, which is a little bit alarming.
Glenny Balls
And it's so odd to think about. I wonder how Caitlin Clark truly feels like she. She's the whole league. So it's kind of. I wonder how you look at your mindset works in that. In that frame of how you think, like, you're technically bigger than, like, your coach, the, like the owner of your team, everyone. You're just the number one person in the league. How that affects your mind when you're trying to play. It's crazy.
Theo Von
She must do it well. I believe that she must do it well, because otherwise it would be A catastrophe. And it doesn't seem like it is. In fact, it seems like she's taken, like, the. She's made the correct choice at so many moments where she could have, like, spoken differently or fallen for a lot of traps out there.
Glenny Balls
Trying to think in any other league, if there's ever been someone that has been. Has meant so much to the league, like maybe like Wayne Gretzky in the NHL at the 80s. I don't really even. I don't really even know. Maybe. Can you maybe Ohtani right now to the mlb? It's interesting.
Theo Von
Yeah. Who's meant so much? Maybe Joey Chestnut.
Glenny Balls
Yes. If we're counting Joey Chestnut. That is the answer.
Theo Von
You know what I'm saying?
Glenny Balls
Or like, he was out last year. He didn't even do it last year. Probably no one watched because he's trying to deal. He's trying to deal with like a vegan hot dog company. So they kicked him out.
Theo Von
Well, it was like Liv golf. He went and played. He went and played in Saudi Arabia.
Glenny Balls
He took that vegan money, dude.
Theo Von
And first of all, eating pork in a Muslim country, I think doesn't even go over well.
Glenny Balls
But he's back to, oh, Tiger. That's. Speaking of live money. Tiger is obviously a big one.
Theo Von
Oh, there you go. This year is extra special. Also. This will be a Fourth of July episode. Man. Have you ever been to watch him?
Glenny Balls
No, never in person. I've never seen him in person. I would love to. I mean, he's. He's a legend. He's a beast. But it's like going to that, like on Fourth of July. I can never imagine going to Coney island the Fourth of July. It's like an hour away from me. That just ruins the day for me. That's like thinking about, oh, have you ever been to the Texas Thanksgiving Day Parade? Like, it's an hour away. I'm on Long Island. I'm not going to go ruin my Thanksgiving going to that parade. I don't know how people do it.
Theo Von
Right.
Glenny Balls
What do you. Just to see balloons, What's.
Theo Von
I think. And the weather is. Usually the weather has not been good for that recently, I feel like. But I think getting to go to. I mean, I guess. What do you go see, Joe? I mean, I guess maybe the kids want to go see it. Maybe you've been married long enough. You're like, I will go watch this honky eat or whatever, you know, like, I don't know, like, when do you do this? But also to witness a man. Does it still seem like, these guys are eating. I wonder. And. And. Or does it seem like they're just processing? You know what I'm saying? That's what I start to look at. I'm watching. I'm like, are they really eating these things or dipping them in water? They're hiding them and they're, you know.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I almost wish they didn't let them do the water dip. Like, right there. We're looking at it. Joey's eating the bread first and then just eating the actual hot dog itself. I would like it if you had to authentically eat the hot dog.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
I think they would make it. It more wholesome to make it feel better. Make it feel like it's happening the way it should be. Because this does feel like it's not scientifically, right.
Theo Von
Yeah. And it doesn't make you want to go have a hot dog. I think if I see, you know, like, 20 beautiful hot dogs on a platter, I see that, you know, they got a freaking Polynesian girl there. Whatever, you know, Thick Ruby or whatever they call you. They all have these crazy names, you know, they're always like the Beef Viper or something, you know?
Glenny Balls
Oh, yeah, everyone has. Yeah, they all have the crazy. Then there's the, like, huge guys. These fat guy. And then the fat guys can't eat as good as poor Joey Chestnut. It's wild.
Theo Von
Yeah, they. Oh, there's always a big guy. They just wheel him out there and, like, his. His nickname is, like, nougat or whatever. You're like, oh, here comes Nougat.
Glenny Balls
And he's like. He's like the world champion of raw shrimp.
Theo Von
Yeah. It's always. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
So everyone's the rock. Should have made it something different.
Theo Von
Yeah, but, yeah, like, oh, this guy ate 40 cans of pringles, dude. And. But if he's also in a neck brace, you're like, it. That kind of seems like it's cheating just based on the shapes of everything.
Glenny Balls
Oh, man, that's. That's.
Theo Von
He has, like, a neck brace, like, an extended cab on, like, one of those African women, you know? You're like, what's happening here? Like, if people are removing their ribs or whatever so they can, like, hide more food, it's like, what the are we doing?
Glenny Balls
It's like the. Yeah, it's the. What was the Marilyn Manson story? Do you ever. Have you ever hear that rumor, obviously.
Theo Von
That he got his ribs removed?
Glenny Balls
That was a classic rumor. Yeah, yeah. That was all over schools. Grade schools. I'm one of.
Theo Von
He's like, my white whale to come on the podcast.
Glenny Balls
Really Interesting.
Theo Von
Why? Marilyn Manson, the pope, and I borrowed one of Caleb's white whales, Fat Joe Drake. Caleb. You guys haven't had him. Oh, who? But he's always wanted him.
Glenny Balls
Oh, should I say it?
Theo Von
Yep. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Beetlejuice is number one.
Theo Von
We could say it two more times and he'd show up. You know?
Glenny Balls
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. There he is. Yeah, but you should be so amazing.
Theo Von
Yeah, he's like the black Nate Diaz. I feel like. Like, he's just like. Everything's kind of so crazy with him.
Glenny Balls
We. We. I think we've tried to get him. It's impossible to get. You can't get to him?
Theo Von
No. His cousin, like, oh, I. We put in some cash with Caleb to try to, you know, see if he'd come on and even do something together, but he didn't want to do it. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
I think he said at one point. I think one time, Caleb was telling me, like, he lives with his sister, and his sister won't let him on. So you were trying to, like, get her. Like, she was, like, trying to get her a massage to get her out of the house to then go in and do it, like, under her nose.
Theo Von
Imagine he wanders up to your bed. You're in Betty. Wanders up the side of your bed. You can't even see him. You just hear his voice and see his, like, little afro at the friend of his.
Glenny Balls
So little, I think Lily. Trying to sneak into his house while his sister wasn't there to get Beetlejuice off the show.
Theo Von
He's only 3 foot 6. He's like, what are you doing? He's like, one of you. What am I doing? What I'm doing. He's always like. He's always like. He's the only person who lives in, like, present and past and future.
Glenny Balls
I forget about Beetlejuice.
Theo Von
At the same time, he's the voice that we need in America right now. You know what I'm saying? He's kind of like the. I mean, I hate to say this, but he's kind of like the. The. Like, kind of the special Obama. Like, the mentally, you know, irregular Obama.
Glenny Balls
He's such a God. He's such a God. Speaking of Howard Stern people, have you ever come across Artie Lang? You've ever met Artie Lang? He's a stud. I'm a big fan of his work.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah.
Glenny Balls
I haven't heard about him in years.
Theo Von
I would like to get to meet him.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. He's one guy that walked by me One time, and I was very, very starstruck.
Theo Von
Really?
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I've been in the same room with him twice. I think we've gone. I'm like, when I'm a fan of somebody, I get too scared to even, like, talk to them. I don't even say anything to him. Right by me. But he's such a legend. I love him. He has this great movie, Beer League, that came out, like, 2006. He made one of my favorite comedies ever, and not many people know about it. It's awesome.
Theo Von
What's it called again?
Glenny Balls
It's called Beer League. It's a softball movie. Him and Ralph Macchio, and they're just these dudes in Jersey. They have a softball team. It's like, my dad and all his friends loved it. All my friends love it. It's a hilarious movie. And, yeah, one of my favorites. I love Artie Lange.
Theo Von
Wow, that's cool. Have you ever met Howard Stern? No. Yeah, me neither.
Glenny Balls
No, I think he's, like, still in his basement because he stopped doing a show for so long from in person. He was, like, living in his basement for, like, three years because of COVID That's wicked.
Theo Von
Yeah. This will be for fourth of July. I have to pee really big. Do you?
Glenny Balls
I wouldn't mind peeing.
Theo Von
Okay. Yeah. Do you think you had a. And we just peed. We both peed, dude.
Glenny Balls
I had freaking penis hurts. Yeah, that may not be good.
Theo Von
And you're been doing that. Touch, touch, touch. So feel bad about that a little bit. Ah, whatever, man. Yeah. How was your. You ever had a great fourth of July that you really like a great Fourth of July?
Glenny Balls
I mean, honestly, this is gonna sound sappy, but I love just hanging out with my pals. Like, I got great friends. I love hanging out with them. My buddies, my best friend Johnny's grandpa used to do a sick fourth of July party every year. And he has, like, really nice house, like, on the water, on the lounge. He would get, like. Like, a professional oyster shucker. Like, cigar cutters. I think there was a Frank Sinatra impersonator one year. I'm pretty sure there was one year. There was. I mean, he's got his boat going in there, just hanging out in the water with the boys. Yeah, that's good enough for me. That's a real, real good day for me.
Theo Von
That is a great day.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Some drink right on the water. Just some drinks. Like, truly, I do think I'm happiest in my life when I'm having a few drinks and just in the water. Just floating in the water.
Theo Von
It's.
Glenny Balls
It's the greatest. And any Fourth of July, I could do that. But it's nice. Just pool, friends, family.
Theo Von
Yeah. Do you remember when we went to Jimmy John's summer camp last year and we got to just sit in that place? You guys were having some drinks in that circle.
Glenny Balls
We sat in that thing for, like, five hours.
Theo Von
That was so unbelievable.
Glenny Balls
That was like. That's my ideal day. Just sitting in the water is like. I'm trying to picture how we could even describe it. It was like a disc. It was a disc float. And then in the net, the netting is like, where we sit. So it was almost like a aquatic pouch that we were sitting in.
Theo Von
Yes.
Glenny Balls
And we just laid in there for five hours, like, literally all day. And it was. Was fantastic.
Theo Von
It's like a kiddie pool that'll kind of. That's bigger than that, though. It's, like, stronger sides, and it'll kind of float around in a lake or something. That was the. Sitting there.
Glenny Balls
Also, the first time I jet ski was with you. That was very scared. I was very scared. I'm really worried about jet skiing, because if I fall off the jet Ski, I'm scared I won't be able to get back up, and then I'm just gonna be stuck in the lake, which I don't want to do. But that was my first time ever jet skiing.
Theo Von
Dang. That's crazy, man.
Glenny Balls
It's a freeing experience. But they go fast. They go real fast.
Theo Von
They go way, first of all. Too fast.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, exactly. And I'm a. Like, I can't do stuff that fast. I'm horrible at that. Like, I'm really scared of falling off the jet ski, so I don't know if I'll do it again this year. I probably will.
Theo Von
Yeah. I don't think I'm a. I just don't think that I'm a. I'm not. Also not a, like, magician or, like, a televangelist or whatever it is. Like, you know, I'm not like a. What are they called? Like, I'm not like, a punt return of those guys.
Glenny Balls
You were speeding around on that place.
Theo Von
Well, yeah.
Glenny Balls
You were making. You were hustling. You were on the other end of the lake before I even moved. You were buzzing.
Theo Von
It gets going.
Glenny Balls
You were in Minnesota. We started in Wisconsin.
Theo Von
Yeah, definitely. Dude. I was crossing state lines on that thing.
Glenny Balls
Really? It was impressive.
Theo Von
You could hear the walleye getting nervous, brother. Yeah. I'm trying to think of a good. Oh, dude. I remember this fourth of July when I was a kid. So this fourth of July, I had went to my friend. His parents took me to their. They had a beach. They had, like, rented a place in Orange beach or something down there in Alabama. And it was like, if you grew up in the south, like, if you went to Florida or Alabama, like Orange beach, any of those places, like Panama City, if you went to one of those places that was like going to the beach, dude, it was like, very nice. So anyway, I went and they had blueberries. I'd never had blueberries. I'd never seen blueberries, right? So I was probably. I'm probably 13 years old, right? I'd seen like blueberry muffin, but I didn't know you could just have blueberries, like, by themselves, like freelance. Like just like a little square, like a small rectangle thing of just completely naked blueberries.
Glenny Balls
Independent blueberries. Yeah.
Theo Von
Yes, I got you independent blueberries. And I'd never. And I tried a couple of them and I was like, oh, my God, they're so good. So I ate probably two of these little cage fulls of blueberries. Right? Nice. So later I am. I was like, I'll just sleep out on the balcony, right? Because I didn't want to sleep inside because there's a lot of people standing over. They had like family, friends and stuff. And I started getting like. I don't even know how to say it, like, pretty much like diarrhea or something.
Glenny Balls
Blue diarrhea.
Theo Von
I mean, I got like. My stomach had never had this before, and so it was like. It loved it, but it also. It had way too much. I had probably. I bet I probably had 440 blueprint berries. So, dude, I was in. I ended up just diring off this balcony, like at a siding because it was flying out of my body.
Glenny Balls
Off the balcony?
Theo Von
Yeah, just misting off of this balcony. Dude, I. There was nothing else I could do. And I had to wash my legs with like a towel and a thing of water and like, it was horrible.
Glenny Balls
Dude, are you. Can you eat blueberries now or that. Did that kill blueberries for you?
Theo Von
No. I mean, it took me a while to get back, you know, to get back around to him, but, you know, it was kind of like, you know. Yeah. At some point I gave him a second chance. But that was like one of the craziest things that were happening. I Remember was on 4th of July because I remember that some of them had been used to make like the fourth. The. The cake. The fourth of July cake. They'd Been used for the stars on the. Like, cake on the.
Glenny Balls
Yes. When people do that. Yeah, absolutely. So interesting thing. Yeah. Blue bears. I don't know how my. How I feel about them, but 4th of July, great day.
Theo Von
It still made me nervous, dude. I remember it was happening so fast. I had to hold, like, kind of. I was laying on my side and about the balcony rails were going up, up and down. You know what I'm saying?
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
I had to, like, hold on to one of the rails with both of my hands.
Glenny Balls
Dude. And you're trying to, like, stick your ass through one of the holes.
Theo Von
Yeah. Or, like, try. Yeah, just get it close. It was horrible. Oh, I feel so bad. And there was a. Like, a night security guy down there or whatever. Like, every now and then, his flashlight would shine.
Glenny Balls
I'm like, dude, what are you shining.
Theo Von
Your flashlight light up here? Like, a bunch of, like, you're getting attacked by, like, a big bad or whatever.
Glenny Balls
What a bad day for him. You make him deport himself.
Theo Von
Oh, dude. He was very old. I bet he didn't even notice.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Especially, I mean, if you're a security guard in Panama City Beach. You've seen worse.
Theo Von
And it was, like, 300ft of distance between me and him, so if anything, he was getting like, a. Like a dusting. Like something you'd put on French toast, you know?
Glenny Balls
That's the worst. Man, I hate having poop. Oh, so annoying.
Theo Von
Well, I thought the other day, what if we didn't have to poop? Like, I know it's, like a side effect of being alive or whatever, but imagine if we didn't. You could eat as much as you want. Or if it. If it never left your body, you could only have a couple things in your whole life because it would build up too much.
Glenny Balls
Ooh. And carry around the whole life. I'd rather poop. I would need to eat. I need to have all of that. But just so much anxiety, like, when you're out at a restaurant. Yeah, I got to do this.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. What's so scary? Like, my body usually lets you know if I have to poop at it when I'm at home.
Glenny Balls
Oh, really?
Theo Von
I think so.
Glenny Balls
Nice. Like, I. I recently. Only the last few years, I've only become one that can poop in public. I've always been a home pooper.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
But now I've learned to do outside as well.
Theo Von
Wow.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Not outside, but, like.
Theo Von
And do you remember the first place you ever vacationed or whatever?
Glenny Balls
Ooh, first vacation.
Theo Von
No, that you took a poop Outside, I mean.
Glenny Balls
Oh no, I'm not saying. I'm just saying like.
Theo Von
Oh yeah. That you outside of the home. Right. Something. First place you took like a little.
Glenny Balls
Always fine with like hotel. I mean I got like a restaurant. Like a gas station. I think it was like a gas station in Alabama. We were doing some sort of road trip for. It was called Barstool vs America. And it was like a 10 city road trip. And we were on RV, so literally we had to. So that was. That was when I learned how to do it. It was like. But backwoods Alabama gas station. And it was kind of. It was fine. We got through it. You know, not poop. Shame.
Theo Von
No. Yeah. I think especially like you just have to realize that everybody's doing it. You know, you have.
Glenny Balls
You really, really do.
Theo Von
But it's kind of crazy that everybody's doing it.
Glenny Balls
I still don't believe it, you know.
Theo Von
Thank you.
Glenny Balls
Crazy.
Theo Von
Yeah. It's just as crazy as thinking that 260 million chickens are killed each day.
Glenny Balls
It's, it's. I do like to do it though. It's awesome. But I never think of anyone else doing it. You know, like maybe one night me and you were at dinner one night and let's say go to the bathroom for five minutes. Is he freshening up or is he pooping?
Theo Von
Yeah, no. Well, the craziest thing is if you like say you go like if you have to, if you try to poop at a high speed because you don't want people to think you're in there doing a number two. Right, Exactly. That is very taxing on the system, I think. Look that up. Is it, is it even okay to, to kind of at high speed or whatever?
Glenny Balls
Yeah, I need to like chill for a few minutes again. It's very hard to get in and out. I need to chill.
Theo Von
Well, yeah, because if you like pooping fast, meaning having a bowel movement quickly is not inherently bad. In fact, it can be a sign of a healthy digestive system. As long as it's not accompanied by discomfort or other concerning symptoms. Normal transit time. A bowel movement should ideally take a couple of minutes with minimal strain. Okay, but. Right, but. Okay, then how long does it take to urinate in a restaurant or whatever?
Glenny Balls
I'm gonna say two minutes.
Theo Von
But that at the pooping just said, let me see, 15 to 30 seconds to empty their bladder. What? Where'd you get your bladder from, dude?
Glenny Balls
Austin Powers XP 30 seconds is a lot of pee. And I've been trying to pee more.
Theo Von
30 seconds is a Lot of pee.
Glenny Balls
You think it's less?
Theo Von
That's not. Dude, I will rat. I blatantly. I casually will piss for fucking 70 seconds.
Glenny Balls
I just heard you had a nice stream.
Theo Von
Okay, that was nothing.
Glenny Balls
That was a nice stream for like a few minutes.
Theo Von
That was nothing. I could still cry after that. I could pee so much that I can't cry for an hour.
Glenny Balls
Really? Oh, I'm a quick peer. Then I think I'll put it all out.
Theo Von
I don't even. I'm very. I love to, I think, pee. And so I won't even wear underpants that are really tight anymore because I don't want that added outside influence.
Glenny Balls
All natural.
Theo Von
Yeah, because it'll kind of like tighten around your bladder, you know? I don't like that. I like to pee as God wants. As I want.
Glenny Balls
You ever done a poop on a plane?
Theo Von
Sure I have. Not. Not one that stands up. It's just so compartmentalized. You literally feel like you're playing hide and go seek and having a. At the same time.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
Because, you know, you're just kind of like.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, you're talking about pooping on high speed. That's what came into my brain immediately, was that if you're. That's going to 400 miles an hour.
Theo Von
That'S a top speed.
Glenny Balls
It's about as fast as you could go in the world. Yeah, that's.
Theo Von
It is crazy. Planes are crazy.
Glenny Balls
It's so. I don't even let myself think about planes because they're so even. Planes now are crazy. How did someone even come up with the idea for a plane? How did the Wright brothers even do that?
Theo Von
And.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, in, like, night. What did they make it in, like 1920?
Theo Von
It was fun, but the planes were shitty. A lot of people died right out of the gate. Like, seven Wright brothers. And we only know about two. Two of them. So is that actually true right there?
Glenny Balls
1903.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
So why did someone. Why did people even get on the Titanic if there were planes in nine years before?
Theo Von
I don't know. It's a great question, dude. Oh, my God.
Glenny Balls
That was nine years before the Titanic.
Theo Von
Yeah. That's unreal. Dude. Just hold out one more year and there'll be a decent flight over there.
Glenny Balls
Wait, can you just look up. The first transcontinental flight is now. I need to see when we finally cross the. Cross the.
Theo Von
I was flying right above the Titanic.
Glenny Balls
That's so. You know, it's another weird, crazy thing to think about. You know the Hindenburg. That was a blimp that just came here from Germany. They blimped from Germany. 1911.
Theo Von
The first transcontinental fighter across the United States was made by Calbr Perry Rogers. Since 1911, taking 49 days with numerous stops and crashes.
Glenny Balls
That doesn't sound like a successful flight. It took 49 days to get Sheep's Head Bay, Brooklyn.
Theo Von
Wow. Anything taken off out of Brooklyn is questionable.
Glenny Balls
Dude.
Theo Von
Yeah, there's a lot of Haitians over there in the park these days in Williamsburg.
Glenny Balls
There's a reason both airports are in Queens, LaGuardia and JFK.
Theo Von
Oh, there's a lot of Haitians selling sex in the park over there. That buys and let in. That's what I heard. I believe it. Oh, man.
Glenny Balls
That's a fun fact.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. I just saw this the other day. WI FI routers now tracking motion. Xfinity's new feature. Since the start of the year, Xfinity, a major Comcast brand for telecommunication services in America, has been notifying users about a useful new feature, WI FI Motion. It allows turning Internet devices into motion sensors that monitor movement at home.
Glenny Balls
I believe. I believe it. The other day I was in. I was in one of those Waymos. You ever been a Waymo yet?
Theo Von
No.
Glenny Balls
I've been in self driving cars. I was in one in Santa Monica. And they have sensors around them that literally the screen in the car, it not only tracks the cars around you, it tracks the people on the street. So like if you're at a stop sign and people are crossing the street, you see little tiny people on the map crossing?
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Like it mimics their movements. Like, I guess it must be some sort of the same technology as that. It's fucking terrifying.
Theo Von
Yeah, that sounds. That sounds super terrifying. They have that too. And in Teslas where you can see the people and even if it's a guy with dreadlocks, something you see that it's kind of crazy, like if it's a person carrying a bag or something. But the idea, like, I guess, what are the concerns about this? It says, how's it. How does it sense motion? WI FI signals travel between the router and other devices and anything between them can. Can disrupt the signal. WI FI signals bounce around and the sensing area is not a straight line, but an oval between the two devices. So it's like if you pass, like, you know, it'll just be able to know where you are in your home. That seems really scary.
Glenny Balls
I guess it could kind of maybe be good for not health reasons. But if people suddenly die, like if they stop moving out of the blue. Maybe they could pick that up.
Theo Von
That's a good point.
Glenny Balls
You know, like, if someone trips and falls or something, like an old person can't get up, like, at least notified. Maybe that would be a good thing.
Theo Von
But how many people are going to forget this? This even happens? They probably have it activated already in their homes. They don't even know it. And then there's some dude at a call center somewhere outside of. Outside of Toledo, and he's just watching some hologram, lonely dude just jerk off.
Glenny Balls
For like 600 times. He's watching the silhouette just go up and down. I mean, let him have fun. I know, but the boys eat.
Theo Von
But. And then he streams that to, like, India or some other country where they, you know, and then he. You're basically being live streamed. The hologram of you is being live streamed out. It just like. I don't know. Everything's just getting too crazy, dude. It.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Technology. I'm out on it. I'm not a big fan of it. I mean, it's. It's scary. Like, we just had to wear these meta glasses. We wore meta glasses to the UFC fight.
Theo Von
That's what y' all were doing.
Glenny Balls
It was great. But the technology on them are. It's unbelievable what it does. It's crazy. Like, they're. They were telling us there's a feature that it could, like, if you were talking Spanish to me right now, it could translate it in my ear to me. Yeah. That's wild. It's. It's crazy. The stuff that people are making is crazy. I mean, you have a cybertruck that must be used to have that, right? That must be insane.
Theo Von
Oh, it's like driving it down. I mean, dude, some. It's faster than an email. Sometimes you floor that thing. It's like, dude, you feel like, literally you could send an email, run, get in it, and drive to a place that you meet, that you emailed and see if you got there. Right.
Glenny Balls
Intercept the email.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. It's crazy. It's something.
Theo Von
Yeah. It's like you could land in somebody's inbox before a jpeg for sure. Yeah. But I think it's all just scary. And there's no protection for us. That's the scariest thing. There's, like. I don't think our government wants to protect us at all.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, the AI stuff, too. AI is getting to the point where I'm the new villain in Mission Impossible is AI. That's the villain in the new Mission Impossible. I think in. So I watched the last one I haven't seen the new one yet. I watched the last one I'm playing. And the villain, because it's a two part movie. This is the second part that just came out. The villain is AI. It's an AI villain.
Theo Von
Like what do you mean when he's an AI villain? Like he's a. Like what do you mean by that? It was like he's a computer.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. So the first scene, I think it's these guys on a sub, these army guys on a submarine. And there's this, there's this. I think it's like the Russians or something, they made this AI system and the system overrides it and like becomes its own entity and like killed like they're sending out a missile and then the system sends the missile back into them so all those dudes die. And then it's like. It's this AI thing. It's like a AI monster. It's wild to the point where it's a Mission Impossible villains.
Theo Von
Oh, it's definitely. Dude. It's getting the point where all these like, all like, these like tech guys, right, they're all like trying to platform. Like I think they're all gonna. They want to put chips in it. It's all going to get to the point where we. They all own and we're. They use us as their robot. It. That's what's starting that like, that's where I believe that things kind of seem like they're going. Because you have a few tech companies, they're going to start to own everything.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
So we're. We're all going to be.
Glenny Balls
And they do, they do too many insane things. Like my buddy Tommy, Tommy smokes, this great guy. He fucking puts in obituaries for me on AI and they send out like an obituary for myself. Oh, it's terrifying. I don't want to see my obituary.
Theo Von
When does it say what does it happen?
Glenny Balls
They had me doing. I forgot what it was. It was, it was. It was something in Vegas though.
Theo Von
What month? Oh, you died in Vegas?
Glenny Balls
No, that was. It was like. Oh, it was found in his hotel in Vegas, I think. And it's like, I'll send it to. He sent me. They made a long, huge obituary.
Theo Von
Damn.
Glenny Balls
For myself.
Theo Von
January. That's when I want to go. Not this January. Really? Yeah. Because it's always a tough month, kind of. I feel like a lot has been fun and then you're kind of figuring out the new year and then big football month. That's a good point.
Glenny Balls
I think the worst Month, which I wouldn't mind going. I like to enjoy a summer, so maybe. I don't really know. I love every month.
Theo Von
Yeah, you're right.
Glenny Balls
It's hard to find a bad month. Maybe April.
Theo Von
April's kind of. Yeah, I think you're right.
Glenny Balls
There's not much happening in April.
Theo Von
Yeah, we're waiting for the next thing. How was he? Oh, how's the new whip man from Only Stands? Didn't you get a new car?
Glenny Balls
Yeah, well, it lives at Caleb. It's kids Caleb's, but I gave it to Caleb. Well, it's this. So it's literally a. It's a moke. So it's like a baby between a Jeep at a golf cart, basically.
Theo Von
Okay.
Glenny Balls
So it's a little tiny car. And the lovely lady lives in Florida. That got it for me, Bryce Adams. So I originally was planning on. I originally was planning on driving it back to Caleb's and just leaving it at Caleb's. And then I. You can't even drive on the highway with it. I didn't realize, like, how slow it is. It's like, only goes 25 miles an hour. So driving from her house to Caleb's house would have taken legitimately probably like eight hours. And it's just super. So it's very slow, but it's awesome. I. Honestly, me and Caleb have not been in Del Rey in so long. I haven't been able to drive it in a while. But, yeah, he lives with Caleb's house now.
Theo Von
Really Just bought that for you?
Glenny Balls
Yeah, it was pretty awesome. It was definitely pretty awesome. And that's always been one of my dreams, to own those things. Like, they're. They're so sick. My. The one problem is I definitely underestimated how slow they are. They're very slow. But driving around in it, driving around Delray beach in it, put some tunes on. It's a fantastic little vibe. Go to the beach. I've gone to the beach with it twice so far, and it's fantastic. But, yeah, there's really no way I could even get it to New York. I don't even know how I'd go about getting it to home. Yeah, and it wouldn't play well at home because we have a great little beach town by us. But I'm like 20 minutes from the beach, so I can't even bring it there. So I think leaving it at KBS is perfect. And then whenever I'm in Del Rey, I could enjoy it and play with it. And it's amazing and. And it's A beautiful, beautiful, beautiful car. I love it.
Theo Von
Yeah, it's really neat looking. Looks like kind of a G wagon. Kind of. But it's like a small G wagon.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. My one, my one problem, though, is I couldn't figure out the seats for the longest time, so I was driving around very uncomfortably. I was like, scrunched up in the middle of it.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Now I eventually figured it out, though, and it's. And it's awesome. Got Bluetooth hooked up in there. It's. It's a great vibe. It's just a good vibe for sure.
Theo Von
But then they'll be able to own dude that in a couple of, like in a year from now. Say you want to go somewhere, but then the AI decides you can't. They're like, nah, come back, you're out. You have to be at work in one hour. You have to. I'm just like. That's what starts to scare me. You think I have to. You think I'm being scared too much?
Glenny Balls
Glenny, I don't think you're being scared. I mean, everyone freaks out about AI. AI is terrible. Like, when you have this entity of a computer that could be its own being, it's scary. Like, the other day, actually, I was walking around in Santa Monica. I walked past a Tesla store and they had the robot in the window, and it was creepy to see. Like, you are. That's movie. That's movie. You don't see movie in real life. Seeing that robot in that window was terrifying.
Theo Von
Yeah, I don't.
Glenny Balls
I don't need robots.
Theo Von
Yeah. Just like, God, I thought we were having a decent time and everything's fucking getting.
Glenny Balls
I just don't understand. And some people have the robots, like, in their house. I don't know if I could live in a house with the robot. How could you live in house with a robot?
Theo Von
You know, it's listening. The fucking WI fi is. Now listen. The WI fi now knows where you're moving around.
Glenny Balls
Could you imagine waking up one night, middle of the night, and just in.
Theo Von
Your room, just there, the robots in there. Yeah, I'm saying, I'm saying imagine sitting up, smoking. Imagine you wake up, it's had three aw root beers, and you're like, what are you.
Glenny Balls
Wow. It's an abusive robot.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
No.
Theo Von
And it's upset about it, about. Because it lost at the freaking horse track. You know what I'm saying?
Glenny Balls
There's just so many.
Theo Von
You're like, what is gonna happen?
Glenny Balls
I'm out. I'm out. I think we're good, though. But throwbacks.
Theo Von
No, we're good.
Glenny Balls
I think our lifetime mate. I think we'll. I think we'll be good with the robots. I'm thinking, like, 200 years down the line would maybe be, like, when they're in society, kind of.
Theo Von
I'm just scared, man. Even, like that Xfinity thing. Say, like, that they can, like, know where you're at in your home. Right? Just so they know. They know, right? And you're right. If you're an old person, you fall in.
Glenny Balls
That's one immediate pro.
Theo Von
Right. That thing is great. But if you are. You don't want to go to work. Right. And you say you're sick, but you're not. You're just at home building, like, one of those houses, a car. It was some. Doing some fun thing, doing a puzzle or something. And they're like, we know you're not sick. You know, I'm saying, like, it could get to that point where it's just like, you can't even lie. You know, it would be nice to not be able to lie, but it's also fun to be able to just make a puzzle sometimes or be by yourself.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. We can't have WI fi ratting on us. That's when it crosses.
Theo Von
That's what you would have.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want WI Fi ratting on us. No, we got to be able. You got to be able to do what's. In the comfort of your own home. In the comfort of your own home without the WI fi checking us out.
Theo Von
Yeah. Or if you said a bad word or something to report you.
Glenny Balls
Ooh.
Theo Von
Someone said in the 400 block. In the 400 block of Long Island. Hey, what happened to that? Long Island. That Long island serial killer. You ever crossed paths with him?
Glenny Balls
No, but he legitimately. So My best friend Johnny, he lives around the block from him. Literally, the house was around the block. It's 20 minutes from my house. Like, my favorite Cajun restaurant isn't. Is. He's right next to my favorite Cajun restaurant, this place, Big Daddy's. He's four minutes from. So it's terrifying to think about. He was doing. I just watched a three part documentary on it that came out last week. He was just doing a New York City commute every single day. I would actually. I would almost say it's not crazy that me and him have probably been on, like, the same train together or something before, because he was doing the. I'm on that same train line, and he was doing the Commute to and from New York for 20 years. So I would venture to guess we were probably on a train together at some point, which is very, very scary to think about. He's 20 minutes from my house and that documentary is. It was on Peacock. I think it was a very, very, very interesting watch.
Theo Von
The Gilgo beach serial killer. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Like this is so where he dumped all these bodies. Gilgo Beach. This was my Covid drive every Friday during COVID like there was nothing to do. I would just take this ride down the beach. Like it's like a 40 minute drive from my house. And I didn't even realize this is where all the, all the bodies are. And scary because there's. There's no, there's no businesses. There's nothing there. It's really just the beach and a few houses and it's a one lane highway and that's where he dumped all those bodies. It's terrifying.
Theo Von
That's crazy.
Glenny Balls
It almost like doesn't even cross my brain of how, of how simulated, how similar he was into like life. Like I did. I did that drive every Friday during COVID Right.
Theo Von
And imagine you're driving. It's hard enough to even pull over to change a tire or something. Like especially on a busy road and.
Glenny Balls
At night there's got to be. He's got a. I mean he did it. There's probably no one around. And the only thing you're surrounded by is water really. Because the one lane highway, it's two lanes each way.
Theo Von
What a crazy world to live in.
Glenny Balls
Yep. That. Did you see. I don't know if it's too much dark of a topic, but I've really been keeping up with it. Did you see they. That Coburger guy took a plea deal today. He said he's not. So he's just not going to get the death penalty. He's gonna go to jail for the rest of your life.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
I'm not a fan of him. I don't like that very much.
Theo Von
Oh, I think that's unbelievable. I think that the parents. I think there's a video. They asked the father what he thought about it. One of the parents.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, they. The parent. The parents are definitely mad about it.
Theo Von
They are.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. But I actually, I'm don't. I. It's hard to say we got in the position, but I almost think a life of prison would be worse than death penalty.
Theo Von
Oh, well, here's what I think. He's going to get killed in prison pretty quick.
Glenny Balls
I would think so too. And that's Way worse than a firing squad. I mean, I think we're allowed to say, I hope he gets killed in prison. I don't. I don't like him very much.
Theo Von
He's a. I believe that. I mean, I'm a. I'm a proponent of. Of the death penalty. I believe that he. I believe that, yeah. Because here's the thing. It's like we're wandering around with Satan and pure evil amongst us, right? I know that people make mistakes and things happen, right. That understand. But sometimes we're wandering around with pure evil, right? And we're like, hey, maybe we should see how pure evil feels on a witness stand for seven years. Yeah, I don't give a if it's pure evil. Why don't you tell me that? Xfanity. Tell me, just tell me who's pure evil.
Glenny Balls
That.
Theo Von
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I don't think we would ask AI that because I think it would probably turn immediately on a lot of its creators.
Glenny Balls
That, that, that one was about as bad as it gets. That for. I've been keeping up with that for the whole time. I don't know why that really struck with me. It's the coburger. Scary.
Theo Von
Oh, it's so terrible because so many.
Glenny Balls
The pictures of them, like, they're just. They're just normal college kids.
Theo Von
That's like just a crazy night out on the town.
Glenny Balls
It seemed like, yeah, normal, normal, normal. Friday, Saturday night, whatever it was. Come home and they're probably. Probably all still drunk. And then they just wake up and this nut job is here and the.
Theo Von
Guy looks like a Satan, like a partner of Satan or buddy of Satan. It's like we keep acting like these people that look like Satan aren't Satan. Like, I love how people are like, God, that guy looks like he's not doing well. That guy to me, looks like a Satan guy.
Glenny Balls
He's right. He's horrifying.
Theo Von
He's horrifying.
Glenny Balls
That was. I was like, it was a.
Theo Von
Because he got in there and wait, didn't the doordash lady see him?
Glenny Balls
I don't know because I think it's seen. And it's so terrible too, because I don't know who saw him. I think he snuck in and then he went. I don't know which child he went for first. It's. It's so scary. But that was. It was interesting to see how the police did that work because I remember everyone was freaking out, like, where is he? Where is he? Where is he? And meanwhile, they Were tracking him for like two weeks, which was awesome. They got him in Pennsylvania and they knew. And he also did a horrible job at it.
Theo Von
I think they were seeing what he was up to, trying to get.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Like, everyone's like, oh, where's this guy? Where's this guy? And they knew the whole time, so. And. And then he. Because he also left that knife sheath there too. Yeah, that was. That was a creepy story.
Theo Von
It's so scary because so many times you've gotten home, it's been drunk with your friend. What's going on. You wake up, you don't even know things are scary. And I'm. You can barely remember.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. And then everyone was freaking out about. Because there were other two girls that were in there. Didn't say anything. Like, they were, I guess, like caught up in their rooms. They were probably obviously scared shitless. One of them saw him. I think it's crazy.
Theo Von
Yeah. All the little things that happen, man, it's so heartbreaking. Just the pain of the families go through. And then I bet there's a weird part where you want to never have it be in the media, but at the same time, like, you almost get addicted to watching the story unfold because you have. It's all that's there of your child still, in a weird way, you know, I don't know. That might sound crazy. Does that sound crazy?
Glenny Balls
I don't think so. You're saying about people talking about it in the news.
Theo Von
Right. Because you want your child to be alive. So it's like the fact that their.
Glenny Balls
Name is bringing awareness to people about it.
Theo Von
It's like. I don't know.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, that. That was a story that really cut me deep. It was terrifying. I did not like that. Yeah, obviously.
Theo Von
Well, it's just like.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
How long are we. Do we just live amongst evil and pretend that we dudes like that and.
Glenny Balls
The dudes like this year, like the Long Island Gilgo beach killer. Yeah, it's like. Like we were saying, like I. I would venture to guess. I've been on a train with that guy. I would not be shocked if. If I somehow could look, I've. AI. Could look up our train records. I bet we've been on the same. Let's say train or cross paths.
Theo Von
What if you sat there next to him? Huh?
Glenny Balls
I actually saw a clip of a girl saying she was on the train. He, like, came and sat next to her one day and she was like, I remember that guy. And he was like. He said something very weird to her. And then she Just got off the train. But even thinking about that, like, that. That woman, too, is, like, Just had a little brush with true evil.
Theo Von
Yeah. I met a dude one time who. His mom had rejected the. Who was the guy that killed everybody at Florida State? Not Dahmer.
Glenny Balls
Ted Bundy was.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
I didn't know Ted Bundy was Florida State. Yeah.
Theo Von
Ted. Bonnie. At the end of his whole deal, he killed some people at Florida State at a sorority house. I think that's where they b. After that, they busted him, but somebody had escaped him. Like, Dang.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Scary to think about. Even Son of Sam. Like, I remember my parents. My parents always tell me this in, like, 1977. They say it was like the Summer of Sam. There's a Spike Le man movie about it. Even he. There was one time in the summer, it was. The whole city went blacked out, and he was, like, free. People knew there was a serial killer. The whole city had a blackout, and my. Like, they said they were. The whole city was freaking out because no one knows where he is. No one knows who he is. There's. It's 1977. There's no lights. Like, my dad said. Like, him and his friends, like, walking around with, like, bats, like, just, like, trying to. Trying to find him. Like, you're just gonna find the Son of Sam. But, yeah, they said that was, like, one of the scariest days ever.
Theo Von
That's so.
Glenny Balls
And also crazy thinking this guy. He's 24. He did this when he's 24. I think the guy looks like 24 years old.
Theo Von
Yeah. First of all, yeah, if I saw this dude, I would immediately be like, hey, this dude's a serial killer.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, he was a nut. He claimed that he was, like, talking to his neighbor's dog, and his neighbor's dog made him do it.
Theo Von
Yeah. Oh, dude. A lot of times when people are like, God, I think that guy's a serial killer. Well, hey, check it out and see if he is. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Glenny Balls
You should be allowed to investigate a little bit.
Theo Von
Yeah. Can Infinity pick that up for us? How about this? Infinity tell us where the serial killers are. That would help everybody out way more, you know, so that will be one more bonus, that whole thing.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, that's interesting thing that could actually, like, all seriousness, could that help with crime a lot? I would assume, right?
Theo Von
Oh, well, I think one of the reasons that they're even doing, like, all this ICE stuff or their deportations and that sort of thing, we're about to get into a Surveillance state. Right. And so you wouldn't even be able to be like technically illegal in America anymore. Like you can just see how they're just getting all the paperwork done. Like you wouldn't. Because we're going to show soon. There'll be drones in the sky. There'll be things. There'll be a new system that is just, just monitoring us at all times.
Glenny Balls
Know every, know everything.
Theo Von
It'll know everything. Yeah, right. I mean we're already at, we're already granting that access to technology. Right. There was a part in the big beautiful bill. I think it just, I don't know if it passed both houses or the Senate and the Congress, but US Senate passes Trump's sweeping tax and spending bill, setting up House battle. So that's going to be interesting. J.D. vance was the, was the tying vote or the tie breaking vote? I guess. I think this is a bad bill after, from what I've learned.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, I don't know much about it, honestly.
Theo Von
Yeah, it's okay. And I'm sorry for bringing it up.
Glenny Balls
No, no worries.
Theo Von
But I don't think that it's, you know, I learned one thing about these bills. There's these things called omnibus bills. Right. So instead of there just being like one bill and so everybody votes on like, hey, what do you think about this higher taxes for this tax bracket? And you'd be like, everybody could vote no one or everybody could vote yes, but they'll be like, what do you think about this? And that's just, that would be one bill. But an omnibus bill is a bunch of bills at once. So it's like, what do you think about this higher tax bracket? But also what do you think about, we give extra stipends to people that served in the military. So you only get to vote yes or no though. Oh, so that's how they get it.
Glenny Balls
So it's got to be a two for one is that's how they get the things they want.
Theo Von
Right.
Glenny Balls
As you hear the military, like, oh, I want to vote for that. But then you're also voting for the other thing. Yeah, interesting.
Theo Von
And there's like seven or eight of those sometimes in a bill. And there could be, I don't even know how many, but sometimes there's a lot. And then if say you or somebody that votes against it, you're like, I'm voting no because I don't want my people to have higher attacks. Sure. It's going to affect this thing of the military. Military. But then the other campaigns will run commercials against you. He Voted no on. Oh, on money for the military.
Glenny Balls
I could hear those. Yeah, yeah. All those shitty local political commercials.
Theo Von
They don't say in that commercial he voted yes on saving his people from. From like, raising taxes.
Glenny Balls
Wow.
Theo Von
So that's how it's all done, dude. It's this whole tricky system and it's called omnibus bills. And anyway, I just learned about that, so it's bad. Yeah, I never knew it either. Yeah, because it always seems like, well, why wouldn't that, you know? Because nothing ever gets done. That's.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, that's why I don't really pay attention to it. Nothing happens, dude.
Theo Von
Shit. So bad. Joey Chester had to come back to America.
Glenny Balls
He had to stop making his vegan money.
Theo Von
Yeah, dude. Bro, he had to come back and start slurping dogs again, dude.
Glenny Balls
Oh, man. He was at a Fanatics Fest last week.
Theo Von
Killing. It was.
Glenny Balls
You see him? Yeah.
Theo Von
Did you guys go?
Glenny Balls
Yeah, we went to Fanatics Fest. We had. We went with Meta again. We were rocking our glasses and he had Todd Graves had him do a. It was Todd, Livy Dun and Drewi against Joey Chestnut in a chicken tender eating contest. In a canes contest.
Theo Von
Joey Chestnut laps, celebs and chicken eating contest. Sorry, Livy.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, I don't even know how many. Oh, and they had DJ Khaled too. He was against DJ Khaled as well.
Theo Von
Oh, dude, you'd think he'd take one of those wings out of his mouth for a second and speak up for his home country, but no, that's just who he is.
Glenny Balls
Yes.
Theo Von
Go on. That's.
Glenny Balls
That's a funny image of DJ Cow. Look at him in disbelief. Oh, yeah, look at him taking those 10D. You guys have to dip those 10D's.
Theo Von
Well, that's the whole thing, man.
Glenny Balls
Dipping it in. That was a fun. That was a fun week. That was cool. I. I met like my, like my childhood hero. I was very, very intimidated. Who was Henrik Lundquist? He used to be a goalie for the Rangers. Like, he was like. He's literally like, still on my wall. He's my number one person, like, ever. And Caleb is from North Carolina, doesn't give a fuck about hockey. So if he eventually stopped, he grabbed. He's a stud. He eventually grabbed and was like, dude, I'm sorry, could you. Could you come meet my friend for a second? And I was like, yes, please. Thank God. And it was. It was one of the happier moments I've had. I haven't. I used to, like, go to the mall to, like, do his, like, Signings Lundquist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a beast. When I was, like, a child, like, my first Ranger game was, like, his second game ever when I was, like, nine years old. So I've just always loved him. That was a. That was a big moment for me. That made my weekend, made my year.
Theo Von
That's magical, man. You guys just had the first round draft pick, didn't you, for the Islanders?
Glenny Balls
Did. They had the first overall pick, so I'm very anti Islanders.
Theo Von
Oh, you're anti Island?
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Even though I live on Long Island. Like, my whole family's from Queens, though, so we're all Rangers fans. Like, I hate the Islanders so much. My high school I went to is down the block from the Islanders arena, and I didn't want to go to that high school because of that, but I did go because all my friends went. But, yeah, I'm not a fan of them, but love the Rangers and love Henrik, so that was a big moment for me. My heart's. My heart's beating right now thinking about it.
Theo Von
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Glenny Balls
We walked by him, like, three times. I kept. Kept hitting Caleb, Henrik, Henry, and finally he. He did it.
Theo Von
That is pretty cool, huh?
Glenny Balls
I was praying someone there, like, because one of our buddies was there, Matt, who's a sports agent. And he was there, and I was telling him, dude, I gotta meet him. He's like, my guy. I'll introduce you. I was like, could you please introduce me at some point? Just so, like, just be like, hey, this guy's a good guy. But we didn't. Caleb just had to go up there. Caleb had to raw dog it, but thankfully he did raw dog it.
Theo Von
Sometimes you gotta watch it, dude. At the UFC fights. So I'm back. We were, like, behind, like, backstage or something kind of thing. And this is a place you can go back there and get a coffee and use a restroom really fast, you know? And, like, you try to stay out of people's way, because these are, like, the most dangerous guys in the world coming through and, you know, getting ready.
Glenny Balls
To do their most dangerous thing.
Theo Von
Yes. So I went back there, and there's this guy, and I thought it was Stipe Miocic, right? He's like, a famous fighter that just retired. And so I asked two UFC employees, I was like, is. Is that. Who is that? And they both said, that's steep, Emek. Right? And I'd met him a couple times before, and he had glasses on when I met him. And this guy didn't have glasses on. I'm like, oh, Maybe he's just, you know, retiring and his eyes are getting better because he just retired. Maybe his eyes haven't been getting better since. He is not getting beaten and beaten in the head or whatever. So I went over and I was like, what's up, man? You know, how's retirement going? And I kind of. I don't want to say tickled him a little bit, but I kind of went like that a little like something I shouldn't have done, you know, or just like. No, nothing crazy. One hand. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
If you two grab a soldier.
Theo Von
Yeah, yeah. Like, good to see you, daddy. You know, welcome home, boy. Welcome home. And he kind of. He was like, huh? And I could feel it fucking get everything switched really quick. And I was like, what's up, Stipe? You know, how was retirement? And then that's when I realized it was was not him and his wife was right there. And like, I was like, oh. I was like, how do the people that work here not even know? Cross reference twice, two times to make sure. Anyway, it was John Blakovic.
Glenny Balls
That sounds way scarier than Steven Myoches.
Theo Von
And he ended up. He ended up cutting me some slack about it. He was. And then he even made a joke about it later. But anyway, yeah, sometimes you're just like, that's a scary thing sometimes about being around those places because there's some real.
Glenny Balls
And I've never heard that guy's name.
Theo Von
John Baklovich bring him up. I think he bit it.
Glenny Balls
A UFC fighter that I don't know. Sounds scarier than UFC fighter you do know. Yeah, like. Like the. The hard nosed dogs that the casual fan does not know. Sounds scary. Stipe. I've heard him. Cleveland legend, I believe.
Theo Von
Then look at just a general picture if you saw one and the other.
Glenny Balls
Those are very similar.
Theo Von
Yeah, similar enough. And both amazing fighters. Look, let me look at Blachowicz's history. Blachowicz, his fight history real quick.
Glenny Balls
Is he Russian, I'd assume, or Polish?
Theo Von
Let me see. Oh, yeah, Polish power.
Glenny Balls
He fought Izzy, beat Izzy.
Theo Von
Yeah, I think that's when Izzy tried to move up. So he was a. Yeah, dude. It was former freaking light heavyweight champion Jan Blakovic right there. Beautiful wife. Anyway, great guy, Sarian. And Steve. I hope retirement's going well. Okay.
Glenny Balls
Yes, Steve, Cleveland legend. I know that about him.
Theo Von
Oh, you do?
Glenny Balls
Yes, I know he's a Cleveland legend, dude.
Theo Von
He can come out and support the freaking women's basketball team.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, yeah, definitely Cleveland. I underrated city. Yeah.
Theo Von
Oh, dude, Cleveland is great. I Love that. The mall that they have down there. Have you been in that old mall that. The Reef? I think they Reef.
Glenny Balls
Is there, like, a hotel in it? Yeah, I stayed in that hotel one time.
Theo Von
Me, too.
Glenny Balls
Like, years ago.
Theo Von
Always put us up there. Yeah.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Like, me and my parents, like a road trip to Chicago. We stopped in Cleveland and stayed at the hotel when in the mall. Cleveland's a cool city. I like it. Underrated. Underrated place. That's a bad rap. And Cincinnati. Oh, I think both underrated.
Theo Von
A lot of good people out there. Well, Glenny, man, I'm just. Good to see you, dude.
Glenny Balls
I think you.
Theo Von
Yeah. I'm excited to see what else you guys want to do in the world. Do you think you'd ever end up on a cooking show? Could we see you being the next. Who's that guy? Not Juan Batista. What's his name? Oh, Border.
Glenny Balls
Anthony Bourdain.
Theo Von
Anthony Bourdain.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I mean, I love Anthony Bourdain. I mean, I love doing food. That's my favorite thing to do. Aside from being a larger gentleman myself, I do actually enjoy food. Food's awesome. I just. I don't like just eating it. I don't like eating too much of it, even. I'm at the stage in my life where I like to taste.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
I'd rather every place I go to just be a tasting menu, just have a few bites of each thing and get on with my life. But, yeah, I mean, that would be really fun. I think me and Kayla made to do the Airbnb idea. We both been. We've been. We got to actually look into that.
Theo Von
Yeah. And if you had your own series of Airbnbs where people could go and they were like, everything from you guys's vibes, maybe that'd be dope.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. But, yeah, it's been.
Theo Von
Oh, I'd love to go down a black olive rabbit hole with you sometime.
Glenny Balls
Wow. Can I burst your bubble here? I'm not the biggest olive person.
Theo Von
Really?
Glenny Balls
Yeah. I'm a bad Greek. I don't love olives. So don't go crazy for black olive, dude.
Theo Von
They've been through a lot.
Glenny Balls
I like black olives. They're good by me. I don't like color Kalamata olives. Those are gross.
Theo Von
Or February olives, as some people call them.
Glenny Balls
But even, like, when I go to. When I get martinis, I love martinis now. I get the olive. I just have them there for the aesthetic, though. I don't even eat them. I just leave them there.
Theo Von
You people Usually feed them with a drunk girl at the bar. There's like, there's always that drunkard who said like 60 olives. She's just wrecked. She's just spraying olive.
Glenny Balls
Tied a little stick in their mouth.
Theo Von
She's just spraying pavement relish in the parking lot later on. I'm going to tell you my last right before you leave. The invention that I came out with years ago, that's never been happened by science yet. The olive Cato.
Glenny Balls
An avocado olive child. Yeah, enlighten me.
Theo Von
That's what it is. Because all olives are kind of salty a little. And avocados and I always had a little more salt in them. The olive Cato.
Glenny Balls
Ooh. They've done food stuff like that before. They made. They've done all they do with dogs. You know what? Can I give you a business idea that I've always thought about? I want your take on it. Fully clothed strip club. I've always said I have two business ideas. Fully clothed strip club and fat only gym. Only fat people could go. And then when you finally lose the weight, you could still go to the gym and you could be inspiration for the other fats there.
Theo Von
Oh, I love that. And It'll be like 40. And you can wear a shirt you get every year. You get like a necklace or something. It's like, like 20, like 11 months. Non fat.
Glenny Balls
You get like a. Yeah, you get a picture on the W of hall of fame. If you lose the weight you get on the hall of fame. You're in there when you walk in and you can be like, oh, look, there's Roger. He's still doing good. Like he's not putting back on. He's doing good. So I think that would be a fun idea one day. Just do a fat only gym.
Theo Von
I love that, dude. Yeah, I think it's a great idea.
Glenny Balls
Fat only gym called Fogs. Foggies. Foggy's gym. Fat only gym. Because let me tell you, we don't like. We don't like. We don't like go to the gym, man. We don't like being seen by skinnies. It's horrible.
Theo Von
Yeah. I think it's interesting what life is like and we're all carrying some different type of thing that makes us feel uncomfortable. You know, it's interesting.
Glenny Balls
Yeah. Especially just being. Being at the gym in general is odd. Like my friends were here actually we were here like a year ago and they were all going to the gym and I was like, it, I'll just go with them because I was hopping I bought elliptical on my house, so I was. Got an optical there. We went to. You ever at the Quantum over here on, like, DemonBrian. It's like a hot girl gym. There's like all the. All the chicks in there in their hot gym outfits and then there's all these bros in their cool gym outfits. And I'm there in, like in N1 shorts and a Met shirt.
Theo Von
Yeah.
Glenny Balls
And looking like an idiot. And like, it was weird because then, like, some people were coming up to me and like, being like, oh, Gotti, what's up? And, like, give me like a high five. And almost like I could see tell in the way they're talking that it was like. Like they were trying to, like, make me feel welcome at the gym because they know I'm not a gym guy. And that made me feel so weird. Like, it was almost like. It was almost like, oh, like, keep going. Like, good work. And I was like. Like I was on the bench and one guy came over and fist bumping me and was like, good to see you here. And I was like, oh.
Theo Von
I was like, oh, this is like when an iron. Like when, like when a British guy shows up at a dentist or whatever for the first time.
Glenny Balls
Yeah, they were just trying. They were trying to be nice about it, but it was.
Theo Von
Amen.
Glenny Balls
Yeah.
Theo Von
Good to see you. I must see you at church for the first time in a while.
Glenny Balls
It's like, oh, they really just want to say good for you for bettering yourself is what they really were trying to say in a nice way. And it just felt really weird. Yeah, that was my last time at a hot girl gym.
Theo Von
You're always welcome here, man.
Glenny Balls
Thank you, brother. This was fun. I've had a good weekend. This is the most time we've ever spent together.
Theo Von
It is, dude.
Glenny Balls
I enjoyed it.
Theo Von
Thank you, bro. I enjoyed it too, dude. You're a special guy in the world. And yeah, thanks for the support this weekend too. I was kind of going through it, but you were right there for me and hell yeah. Yeah, dude, Glenny Balls. You can catch them with Caleb Presley on Sunday Conversation. And it's always out and about and then he'll be changing the world. Dude.
Glenny Balls
I get. I get scared easily. If you can't tell me too, I.
Theo Von
Don'T know what happened. You can catch him out and about in the world with. With Caleb Presley on their show Sunday Conversation. Thanks so much, brother.
Glenny Balls
Thank you, brother. And happy. Thank you for everything this weekend and happy fourth of July to all.
Theo Von
Happy fourth of July, huh? Now I'M just floating on the breeze.
Glenny Balls
And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones but it's gonna take a little.
Podcast Summary:
Title: This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von
Episode: #594 - Glenny Balls
Release Date: July 3, 2025
Host: Theo Von
Guest: Glenny Balls
Theo Von opens the episode by sharing updates about his "Return of the Rat Tour," mentioning upcoming dates in cities like Philadelphia, Rochester, New York, Detroit, and Los Angeles. He expresses gratitude for the fans' support and directs listeners to visit his website for tickets.
Theo introduces his guest, Glenny Balls, an entertainer and podcaster known for being part of the "Sunday Conversation" team with Caleb Presley. They reminisce about spending the weekend together in Las Vegas.
Glenny discusses shopping for new shirts with his mother, highlighting a Native American garb he wears, which his mom insisted on purchasing. This leads to a conversation about cultural appropriation.
The duo delves into their love for cheese, particularly Brie, comparing it to butter. They discuss the rise of charcuterie boards and Glenny's attempts at creating his own.
Glenny shares his weight loss journey, mentioning a peak weight of 355 lbs and his current weight of 257 lbs. They discuss the challenges of maintaining weight, especially on Sunday nights.
Both recount their experiences attending UFC events and Power Slap shows, highlighting the intense atmosphere and interactions with fighters like Terence Crawford.
Theo introduces ads for Moonpay, Tru Niagen, Shady Rays, and Shopify. Later, they discuss emerging technologies like Wi-Fi motion sensors and AI, expressing concerns about privacy and surveillance.
Glenny shares stories about haunted places, supernatural encounters, and unsettling experiences in hotels. They touch upon fears related to supernatural entities and haunted attics.
The conversation shifts to sports, covering topics like UFC fights, WNBA team expansions, and baseball fandoms, particularly Theo's love for the Chicago Cubs and Glenny's for the Rangers.
Throughout the episode, Theo and Glenny reflect on their friendship, mutual support, and memorable moments spent together. They emphasize the importance of camaraderie and shared experiences.
Theo and Glenny conclude the episode by expressing their appreciation for each other's company and sharing well wishes for the Fourth of July. They reflect on the enjoyable weekend and the deepening of their friendship.
Note: Advertisements and non-content sections present in the transcript have been excluded from this summary to focus solely on the main discussions and content of the episode.