#601 - Dusty Slay

Summary

Podcast Summary: This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von – Episode #601 featuring Dusty Slay

Release Date: August 7, 2025

In Episode #601 of "This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von," host Theo Von sits down with comedian Dusty Slay from Opelika, Alabama. The episode delves deep into Dusty's upbringing, his journey in comedy, personal anecdotes, and reflections on societal changes. The conversation is rich with humor, nostalgia, and insightful observations, making it both engaging and relatable for listeners.

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1. Introduction and Background

Theo Von begins the episode by introducing Dusty Slay, highlighting his new Netflix special titled "Wet Heat" and his own podcast, "We Are Having a Good Time." Dusty expresses his excitement about the special, emphasizing the self-produced nature of his work and his pride in collaborating with Netflix.

Theo Von [03:00]: "Today's guest is a comedian from Opelika, Alabama. He has a new special out on Netflix called Wet Heat."

2. Childhood and Growing Up

Dusty shares vivid memories of his childhood growing up in a trailer park in Opelika, Alabama. He reminisces about the close-knit community, interactions with Laotian neighbors, and the blending of different cultures. Dusty fondly recalls the unique names of his peers, such as Misty, Stormy, and Treasure, reflecting the whimsical naming trends of his upbringing.

Dusty Slay [09:22]: "We had some windy names like Stormy and Treasure. It felt like we were characters in a weather-themed story."

He also touches upon the challenges of living in a trailer park, including the constant presence of neighbors and the lack of privacy. Dusty recounts humorous and sometimes poignant interactions, such as hearing his neighbors' domestic disputes through thin walls and the playful yet chaotic environment of his youth.

3. Comedy Career and Career Highlights

Transitioning to his career, Dusty discusses how he ventured into comedy while working various blue-collar jobs, including selling pesticides to major retailers like Lowe's and Home Depot. He highlights the balance between maintaining professional responsibilities and pursuing his passion for stand-up comedy.

Dusty Slay [60:03]: "I used to deliver pizzas while honing my comedy skills, turning every delivery into a potential joke set."

Dusty credits his early comedy experiences in Charleston, South Carolina, where he performed at venues like Hyman's and the Gailyard Performing Arts Center. These platforms allowed him to refine his craft and build a dedicated fan base.

4. Personal Anecdotes and Experiences

Throughout the episode, Dusty shares a series of humorous and heartwarming stories from his past. From childhood antics like peeing on the floor and riding bikes, to more mature experiences involving friendships and relationships, Dusty's storytelling is both captivating and entertaining.

He recalls memorable moments such as:

• Driving High: Sharing tales of riding high with friends during his pizza delivery job, leading to comical and sometimes chaotic situations.

  Dusty Slay [74:26]: "We drove around so high, biting the steering wheel and freaking out over nothing."

• Wishing Well Jobs: Describing his summer job cleaning out wishing wells, which led to unexpected and eerie encounters.

  Dusty Slay [82:25]: "Cleaning wells seemed simple until spooky echoes scared out my partner."

Dusty's genuine and often self-deprecating humor shines through as he recounts these experiences, making listeners laugh while also providing a glimpse into his resilient and optimistic outlook on life.

5. Reflections on Society and Technology

The conversation shifts to broader topics such as the impact of Artificial Intelligence (AI) on comedy and various professions. Dusty expresses confidence in his unique comedic style, believing that AI cannot replicate his delivery and personal touch.

Dusty Slay [96:30]: "AI can't capture the way I look or deliver my jokes. People say, it's funny if you say it right, but the essence is human."

Theo and Dusty also discuss societal changes, particularly the evolution of communities and the normalization of disabilities. Dusty emphasizes the importance of community support and understanding, reflecting his compassionate nature.

6. Future Aspirations and Closing Thoughts

Towards the end of the episode, Dusty shares his aspirations beyond comedy. He dreams of owning expansive land where he can cultivate orchards, build ponds, and create a sustainable, nature-centric lifestyle. This vision underscores his desire for peace, creativity, and community living.

Dusty Slay [109:25]: "I want to buy a lot of land, build an orchard, and maybe even start a food forest where families can thrive together."

Theo congratulates Dusty on his Netflix special and upcoming tour dates, expressing genuine admiration for Dusty's accomplishments and future plans.

Theo Von [120:43]: "Congrats on 'Wet Heat,' Dusty. It's out there now, and people can go watch it."

Dusty concludes by inviting listeners to check out his tour and merchandise, leaving fans eager to support his ongoing journey in comedy.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dusty Slay [09:22]: "We had some windy names like Stormy and Treasure. It felt like we were characters in a weather-themed story."

• Dusty Slay [60:03]: "I used to deliver pizzas while honing my comedy skills, turning every delivery into a potential joke set."

• Dusty Slay [96:30]: "AI can't capture the way I look or deliver my jokes. People say, it's funny if you say it right, but the essence is human."

• Dusty Slay [109:25]: "I want to buy a lot of land, build an orchard, and maybe even start a food forest where families can thrive together."

---

Conclusion

Episode #601 of "This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von" offers an insightful and entertaining glimpse into the life of comedian Dusty Slay. From his humble beginnings in Alabama to his rise in the comedy world, Dusty's stories are filled with humor, resilience, and heartfelt reflections. The episode not only showcases Dusty's comedic talent but also highlights his aspirations and thoughtful perspectives on life and society.

Listeners who enjoy a blend of humor, personal storytelling, and genuine conversation will find this episode both enjoyable and inspiring.

Transcript

[Theo Von]

Into crypto or your next ones. You know, everyone is health hacking these days. Biohacking people want to live forever. I was at a four year old's birthday party the other day. He said he wanted to live to be 1100. I'm like, dang, buddy, if you, if you are going to live that long, you're going to need to keep your NAD levels replenished. That's what I'm talking about. Nad. I'm sure you've been hearing about it. And between the ages of 30 and 70, your NAD levels drop off by 65%. NAD. It's considered the battery pack of your cells. Yeah, you want to keep your cells restored, you want to keep them refreshed. That's why there's True Niagen. Yep, True Niagen. It's real Fountain of youth vibes, man. It's, it's a science backed way to age better. It's clinically proven to boost your NAD levels by up to 150%. And it's backed by over 35 human clinical studies. And some people are like, well, what is nad? What does it do? Well, it just, it repairs and restores your cells. Right? That's it. It doesn't give you like some crazy boost of energy. It's a long term play. Andrew Huberman was on the podcast and we were talking about it and he said it's one of the top health hacks that he could recommend. So here's what I do now. I take True Niagen every single day. And right now, this past weekend, listeners get up to 25% off True Niagen with code THEO. Go to true niagen.com T H E O that's T R U N I a g e n.com/theo and use code THEO for up to 25% off your NAD levels will thank me. But yep, Bobby. We've added some merch from when Bobby didn't. Wasn't helping me figure out how to talk to him or whatever. We have a Bobby collab that is loose now on theovonstore.com you can check it out. And we sprinkled in some other new items and restocked some old classics. Again, it's the ovonstore.com and thanks so much for your support, Mo. Today's guest is a comedian from Opelika, Alabama. He has a new special out on Netflix called Wet Heat. Wet Heat. He has his own podcast called we are having a good time. I'm very thankful to spend time Today. We're with Mr. Dusty Slay.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. What's the. I see. The hat is a cold, cold, wet, Wetzel hat.

[Theo Von]

That's like coat.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but what's the. What's the lightning bolt?

[Theo Von]

I don't know. It's probably weather. I mean, they're doing all that weather seating now. Yeah, that cloud seating.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's true.

[Theo Von]

Maybe he's involved in this.

[Dusty Slay]

He is. He could be.

[Theo Von]

I wouldn't be surprised.

[Dusty Slay]

Get the record deal now.

[Theo Von]

He looks like. He definitely. He looks a little humid sometimes.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah, I do know. Yeah. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

But you look great, man.

[Dusty Slay]

I appreciate it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Good to see you. Congrats on the new special.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you. Yeah, I'm pumped. I mean, it feels good. I'm.

[Theo Von]

I'm. Your third one's. You're kind of your third one kind of.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I got a half hour. But these are. Yeah. Both self produced. Wet Heat and Working man. So it's fun to. You know, Netflix does. Is not like, hey, we're gonna give you a special. I have to film it and then sell it to them.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So it feels good that they're buying.

[Theo Von]

It and you do the work, man.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I saw you were trending yesterday or the day before on Netflix. That had to feel good.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it felt good. I hit seven. That was, you know, last time I think I hit. No, but seven is still good, though. I like seven.

[Theo Von]

Well, a lot of people are still really stuck in that missing woman off the cruise ship.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, okay.

[Theo Von]

And it's hard to go up against that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Because they put a special up against tv. So if. If you watch a full season of a show, then that's like, you know, each episode is a watch, but you have to watch a special over and over again to get that kind of.

[Theo Von]

You're lying.

[Dusty Slay]

I think that's how it works. Yeah. Like if you're watching Seinfeld, every episode is a watch.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And most people watch a comedy special one time.

[Theo Von]

Oh. If someone's watching it more than one time, they're not. Yeah, there's. I think they're probably kidnapped or whatever. They're not doing that.

[Dusty Slay]

They're locked in my basement.

[Theo Von]

And they're also called my wife.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes.

[Theo Von]

You know what I was thinking, dude? They don't have any more. There's not a lot of cross eyed people anymore.

[Dusty Slay]

You don't see it a lot. Maybe glasses are fixing it, but. Yeah, you don't see it.

[Theo Von]

Were you part of like that cross eyed realm or whatever?

[Dusty Slay]

No, no. I mean, I don't think I was ever cross. Eyed. I might have been in the realm because I remember people with an eye. You know, there'd be. Now I got some land out in McMinnville and I went into a. I thought it was a thrift store. Turned out to be a museum. And the guy had a bad eye, you know, I think he had a glass eye. And he. I think he was excited I was in there.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Cause he didn't have anybody to tell stories to. And he talked to me for a long time.

[Theo Von]

That's beautiful.

[Dusty Slay]

So they are still out there. They're just in. They're hidden away.

[Theo Von]

And that's McMinnville, Tennessee.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, McMinnville, Tennessee.

[Theo Von]

You've been there? Is that a nice community?

[Dusty Slay]

It is nice. I got a little land there. I got a little cabin where I'm trying to build an orchard. But McMinnville feels real tucked away. It's a good bit off the interstate.

[Theo Von]

Wow, that's beautiful looking.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Mountain town. You got a lot of kayaking. A lot of.

[Theo Von]

Really?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. That's the nursery capital of the world, they say.

[Theo Von]

Because of what? Just birth rate or whatever?

[Dusty Slay]

No, like. Like trees. Like plant nursery.

[Theo Von]

Oh, damn, brother. Hell yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

No, I'm from Opalika, Alabama.

[Theo Von]

Okay. Sorry, you're from Alabama.

[Dusty Slay]

But I got, you know, I just. During COVID I was. I didn't know what was happening. I had a little money, So I bought 10 acres of land.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. God.

[Dusty Slay]

And I was like, if we never get to go back out to stores again, I want to walk around some pasture land.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, and McMinnville, I mean, I walked into a restaurant there with a mask on, and that place was packed and I don't think they had ever seen a mask. And I was like, well, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, I ripped it off. I mean, I was like, this is. This is freedom out here.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Oh, you got to yell it right.

[Dusty Slay]

When you pull it off. You know, just to let people know.

[Theo Von]

Oh, he didn't mean the mask.

[Dusty Slay]

Exactly.

[Theo Von]

Like, he may. He may have gotten the shot, but they'll never get the homophobia out of him.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, right.

[Theo Von]

They'll never shake that. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, he may end up cross eyed again.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude. Yeah. Because sometimes a cross eyed guy looks like somebody that wants to yell a racial slur but just won't let it out. Like if he did, it would just fix his sight.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we knew you don't know who he's looking at when he says true.

[Theo Von]

That's true, dude. So it could be aimed at anybody. Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful. But, yeah, you don't see it anymore. I just remember when I was a kid, you would see more of that. Didn't you think you saw more of that?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I felt like there was like always, like a slower class when I was in high school where you would see them come through the hallway and you. Sometimes some of them, you were like, I don't know why they're in there. And others you could clearly see why they were in there. I feel like there would be a guy with real thick glasses and you would not know what he's looking at.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just like he. Almost like he should have worked for a submarine, but they discontinued him when they, like, made the technology or whatever. Yeah, yeah, like, oh, he should be the one on top of the sub holding his breath. Oh, dude, totally, bro. The first wigger they ever had in our town, they put in learning disabled, man. And I've talked about. I actually talk about that on stage, but. And shout out Brian Purvis that I put some money on his books, actually. He's. He didn't do it. He might have done it, but he's. He's. I think he's in jail now. But they'd never seen a white kid that wanted to be black and they threw him in there.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, that's too bad. The guy just had some style and some flair about him. Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

But he would just be in the hall, like, doing like doing invisible crossovers on all the other hand. So he was just like playing like, just full court offense against the rest of the.

[Dusty Slay]

He probably liked that he was in there. He's like, this is easy. This is a dream for me. He probably did, man, so far to get to the back of the bus.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, true, dude. Yeah, man. I just. There was times, I remember. You see that? Like, I just remember there used to be more disabilities that were normal. I felt like, normalized.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You know, like, maybe they just didn't know where to put people. Right. So they were just wandering around and, you know, I grew up in a trailer park, so I felt like there was a little bit of that in the trailer park, you know?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You never knew if somebody was just like, you know, real redneck, real country, or if they're just, you know, they got a speech impediment.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. Oh, well, dude, even the name Dusty, I mean, I remember there were names that were kind of. I don't want to say weather related, but off, like sunny, like a windy. Yes. Sunny, windy, dusty drizzle. Got into, like, the black kind of country.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

But there was other ones. It was like Misty.

[Dusty Slay]

Did we say Misty?

[Theo Von]

No, we didn't.

[Dusty Slay]

And now it. Yeah, that was a big one. Misty was very popular. Misty felt like. I know some Misty. So I don't want to talk traction, but it felt like. Yeah, it was like they were attractive, but a little loose with it sometimes.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Like they'd put their bra on but wouldn't. T. Like. But wouldn't snap it together in the back.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, they want. Yeah, they wanted people to see it. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude, Misty's were usually pretty cute, weren't they?

[Dusty Slay]

I think so. I can't think of an unattractive Misty ever. I know a few misties.

[Theo Von]

That was kind of country hot, man.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah. And you get maybe get a little Misty eyed around them.

[Theo Von]

Maybe that's why they named him that. Yeah. I'm trying to think. Yeah. Sunny, dusty, Misty. Oh, there was one more. We had a girl. Her. Stormy.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, stormy. Yeah. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

We had a girl named Stormy Bernard that used to play volleyball in our town. And they didn't even have volleyball, but she told everybody she played it or whatever.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. Yeah. She had good legs.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. If you have good legs, it's believable that you play volleyball or. Or softball. Yeah, that's believable. Girls with good legs and just a stoutness about them. Like an attractive stoutness.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You know?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's nice. Yeah. Dude, I loved. I love that about growing up, like, in a kind of a rural area, because we weren't in a trailer park. We were just kind of like in a white. Just like. It wasn't super redneck bus. It was just like kind of trashy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And no judgment. Shout out to everybody from McGee Street. But it just was what it was, you know, they know it. Nobody was fucking. Nobody was pretending what was going on.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. We had a trailer park. Our trailer park was, like, half Asian. We had a lot of Laotian people in Opelika, so. Really? Yeah. So our bus stop was, you know, me and the Asian kids.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[Dusty Slay]

It was fun.

[Theo Von]

Dude, y' all should have made a music video or something. That's beautiful.

[Dusty Slay]

It did seem exotic in a way. As I got older, I felt like when I was getting off the bus with the Asian kids, it made me. It's like. It felt like because you feel insecure about getting off a trailer park, but when it's with the other Asian kids, you feel like, well, you know, we got something going on here, right?

[Theo Von]

It's almost like, look, I'm here supporting them. It gives you that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got, you know, I got a vibe.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. You know, God, we're doing something. You wouldn't even understand it. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You don't get what we got going on. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude. Yeah. If you'd have got off the bus with a bunch of hv. Well, literally, people would have thought. On my street, people would have thought that bus came from outer space. Like, they just didn't even. I'm sure it had to be like that by you. Like, did you have Laotian friends there?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I mean, they were my age. Yeah, we were friends. We hung out. One guy named Enoy, we used to hang out. That was his name? Yeah, yeah. And we used to hang out. We were, we were. And there was others, you know, There was a guy named Chuqui ot. He was a little older than me. And then there was Hook. And then they had a sister named Sherry.

[Theo Von]

Ooh, Sherry's pretty hot.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, Sherry was hot. Sherry was hot. I had. I actually found some pictures of Sherry that she gave me when she was. When I was a senior. It's probably here. Like her junior pictures. Yeah, I found them in a notebook.

[Theo Von]

Did you?

[Dusty Slay]

I was like, wow, still got these pictures of Sherry.

[Theo Von]

That's nice.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

God, she sounds hot. Dude, I. Namburi.

[Dusty Slay]

Namburi was the last name.

[Theo Von]

Namburi? Yeah, Sherry Namburi.

[Dusty Slay]

Sherry Nanbury. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

God, sign me up. Yeah, we had a girl named Treasure in our neighborhood too. And.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh yeah, that feels oddly weather related. Like pie pirate ship. Like you're out on the waters finding some treasure.

[Theo Von]

Yes, Stormy, dusty, Treasure. All those are kind of Rain.

[Dusty Slay]

I didn't have any reigns. But that's a name.

[Theo Von]

Oh yeah, that's a name. I know a country ass rain lady that lives here. Oh yeah, I know like a real country lady named Rain. What? What was that trailer park like? Man? How was the vibes over there? Was it pretty cool?

[Dusty Slay]

It was awesome. I mean, I loved it. We had. It was like on a dirt road, about 20 trailers, probably some tucked away a little bit in the woods. And then on the front, like on the main street was houses. So we had some brick houses. Then behind those was some trailer. And then on the end two double wides. Oh, we had a. Enoy lived in one double wide. And then a guy, he went to a different school, nicknamed Squirrel. And that was my friend. He had an above ground pool. Oh yeah. So Squirrel had it Going on. I mean, his parents were fighting all the time. Yeah, but they were. You know, he had a stepdad named Sid and Sid was always yelling at him.

[Theo Von]

But you could fight all you want when you're able to cool off in a damn above ground pool.

[Dusty Slay]

Exactly.

[Theo Von]

Fucking heat things up.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. We would pull out the tarp and we had a slip and slide going. Some dawn dish detergent, huge tarp in his backyard. I mean, that was where it's at. Squirrel had it going on.

[Theo Von]

Oh, well, it sounds like he was doing well in our neighborhood. They had some dudes were over there smoking and getting BJ's or whatever in an abandoned above ground.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

So something had happened. There had been. I don't know what had happened, but something had happened. It could have been a gravity thing, could have been domestic dispute, somebody knifed it out or whatever. But the above ground, the water came out of it.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

And then over time or whatever, like men would hide from their wives over there and smoke a little weed or something at night or whatever.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, I always heard about that kind of stuff, like these kind of things going on. I never could get involved in that as a kid.

[Theo Von]

Really?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I mean, I felt like I was like, you know, I was like a good kid. I never could get involved in that BJ's in the above ground pool situation.

[Theo Von]

Damn, brother. And maybe that's for the best, you know.

[Dusty Slay]

I think it is. It turned out, you know, because the, the cool K in the trailer park life, they go to jail, they end up in jail.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, you're right.

[Dusty Slay]

You know what I mean? Because they got, you know, they're getting into trouble and it seems cool, but.

[Theo Von]

They put their shirt on, they're tattooing each other. Yeah, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

But then they end up in jail and you're like, oh, I'm glad I wasn't like as cool now. I was cool, but I was, you know, cool and then not getting in trouble way.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, you were like a Laotian hero.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, because the Laotian parents weren't letting that go down. They weren't involved in that either. I don't even know that they like them hanging out with me, to be honest.

[Theo Von]

Wow. Just because you were like, you were close enough adjacent to the other group, they don't want you to be a gateway drug to.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, And I was wearing bandanas and stuff, you know, I was like, you know, camouflage bandanas. Not red or blue.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, Like Willie Robinson or whatever.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Is it Robertson?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, yeah, more like that. You know what I'll be honest with you. I always put a T in there unnecessarily.

[Theo Von]

And it may have. It may have. They may have gotten rid of it. Who knows? A lot of people are trying to hide from taxes.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

[Dusty Slay]

They're like, oh, no, no, no. This is Willie Robertson. I'm Roberson.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Now, I will admit, we look. We look similar.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I'll tell you straight up, I'm Roberson.

[Theo Von]

Oh, Are you too hot or cold?

[Dusty Slay]

No, I feel great.

[Theo Von]

Okay, great.

[Dusty Slay]

Perfect temperature. Really feels good.

[Theo Von]

Thanks. Yeah, I feel pretty good. I'm wearing. I'm trying a different shirt on. Trying to look a little different. Some days. There's a lot of times I don't feel like doing. I want to stay in a similar pattern. I don't want to try something super new. But then every now and then, maybe three times a year, I'll get up and like, I'm going to try something different today.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Theo Von]

You know, and so I try. I thought I would try this.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Shirt. Kind of.

[Dusty Slay]

Those kind of shirts are hard for me. I feel like the nips always come through for me.

[Theo Von]

Oh, really?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. This. This is working here. I guess so. I guess I do.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't feel like that. I don't feel like it all the time, but if I wear a real thin. Like I used to wear thin shirts for work and. Yeah. I could feel like I need the undershirt.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Oh, the unders. I never got into the undershirt.

[Dusty Slay]

I was a big undershirt guy.

[Theo Von]

You were?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

What took you there? Well, I guess you just told me.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I feel like undershirts were the thing for a while. Even T shirts. And when I was in school, we would wear two T shirts.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Dusty Slay]

You never. Well, you grew up in Louisiana. It's a bit hotter there.

[Theo Von]

That's true. But you already had a shirt on to flex and be like, oh. Because you. In our neighborhood, we have people with no shirts on.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

So to be like, I'm gonna wear two shirts.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And some guys, like, you know, it.

[Dusty Slay]

Looked like you took his shirt just fucking.

[Theo Von]

He didn't know a lot of math. But I'll tell you this. That didn't add up.

[Dusty Slay]

Or either. He was like, you hold my shirt. If I need it, I'll come to you. But don't wrinkle it. Keep it on.

[Theo Von]

Keep it fresh.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I do remember in the neighborhood, like in our neighborhood, like, if you got Good grades. Like that kind of shit wasn't cool. Really. You didn't want to be like, too smart. You didn't want, you know, you kind of just had to play the game of like fitting in but not fitting too in.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You know, my dad would make fun of me for reading but also wanted me to make good grades. And I was like, I got. It's one of the other. Here. You can't make fun of me for doing the homework and go, why are you not passing?

[Theo Von]

Oh, you can't have your C, A, K, E and eat it too.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. If you spell in front of him, he wouldn't get it.

[Theo Von]

Oh, God. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. He would make. My dad has said. I've heard my dad say I ain't never read a book he likes. That's a brag for him.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm not a big reader, but I've read a book, you know.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude. Oh. In our neighborhood, it was like if somebody could whistle really good, they had clout, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Like, oh, get Donnie over here. You can hear. Get him over here. And you. Somebody would go get Donnie and he'd come down on his bike and he, you know, he's an adult with a bike.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

But he'd get there and he'd pull up and he'd fucking have half a can of beer and then he'd whistle.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, it's the weird talents.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It's like, you got it. You got a little something.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. There was just something like. But I think it was just like what? It was like that was just the energy around, you know, it was just kind of calm people doing stuff. It was just pretty basic back then.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Like even just have it. Like, Squirrel had laser disc. And I remember that my mom worked at a plant that made VHS tapes.

[Theo Von]

Oh, God.

[Dusty Slay]

So I told my mom that Squirrel had LaserDisc and she got real mad at me because I guess I came home bragging about the stuff that Squirrel had at his house. And laserdisc was a potential threat to her income.

[Theo Von]

To your family.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You're down there in the other double wide.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, look. Swimming in an above ground pool, watching laserdisc.

[Theo Von]

Living high on the hog.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

God.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Meanwhile, my mom wasn't yelling at me like Squirrel's mom was, but I'm like, these things seem cool.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I could take a little yelling for a few perks.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, for sure, dude. Oh, my big thing was peeing on the floor in my room. I remember when I was a kid, that was like one of my big tricks or whatever. Like, I never could whistle. And then I'm trying to think of what else have.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, what would peeing on the floor give you? Just fucking being like, I can do whatever I want.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, my mom can't do nothing. I'll pee in the floor if I want.

[Theo Von]

Okay, we'll show them.

[Dusty Slay]

You can't pee in the floor at your trailer or your house. I can.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude, I think there was a part of me that thought, like, one day I'm gonna have my whole room collapse right into the living room. I'll show all these. Like, an alien spaceship just landing, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

What else? Yeah. Are. Oh, I remember my buddy's dad got his wife. So my buddy's mom got her a window. Like their window had been out for a while. And he got him a window and he put it in upside down, Right? So it's like. But it wasn't coming.

[Dusty Slay]

Just come let it down like that. You let it down like it's a car.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. So it was just. Yeah, it wasn't bad, but it just.

[Dusty Slay]

He might be sitting out there with his arm propped up like he's riding in the truck.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. He just leans into the house like, how you doing?

[Dusty Slay]

Misty's out in the yard. He's letting it down.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude. Like that. Just regular.

[Dusty Slay]

I just been in here peeing in the floor.

[Theo Von]

Hold on, let me put a cork in my wiener. I'll come out there, take a look at that new. That's. Damn. That thing works with gravity at window, huh? That's different.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's the way it really is.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, because the old way, you push the window up that you're defying gravity.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

That's damn wizardry. Most guys enter the room wiener first. Yep. First you heard it. Bluechew helps. Bluechew isn't just a tablet. It's a cheat code for your crotch. Stronger, harder, longer lasting, straight bangers. You feel me? Like someone gave your downstairs a pep talk and a gym membership and turns your downstairs into an upstairs. Blue Chew is the original brand offering chewable tablets for better sex. That's it. Last time I took a Blue Chew, I accidentally picked a lock. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. As always, get your first month of Bluechew free. Just use promo code Theo at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. That's it. Join Bluechew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to BlueChew.com for details and safety info. And big thanks to BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. If you run an E commerce business, you know the best way to be successful is to keep your customers happy. That's why smart retailers use shipstation. One thing I love about shipstation is that it makes it easy to automate shipping tasks and manage orders. And in one simple dashboard. With ShipStation, you never need to upgrade. ShipStation grows with your business, no matter how big it gets. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers. With discounts up to 88% off UPS, DHL Express and USPS rates and up to 90% off FedEx rates. Wow. When shoppers choose to buy your products, turn them into loyal customers with cheaper, faster and better shipping. Go to shipstation.com the O to sign up for your free trial. There's no credit card or contract required and you can cancel at any time. That's shipstation.com. theo? Yeah, man, there was just stuff like that about growing up. Was it real poor by you or did it feel organized? Did anybody have that trailer with the lattice work around the bottom of it?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I think we all had 10. I mean, I gotta think somebody had lattice, but, you know, our trailer, we had 10 around.

[Theo Von]

Okay, so. But you did have that skirt.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we had. Yeah, we had it covered. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's a. That's actually not bad right there. That looks good. Yeah, but you know, then cats can get in there and lay. Have babies under the trailer.

[Theo Von]

Oh, with that lattice work.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, they could squeeze their little head under there and then they get in there and they start tearing out your insulation and they have babies up in there.

[Theo Von]

God damn.

[Dusty Slay]

You just hear a lot of meowing all the time.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude. Well, also a lot of those baby cats are. Are the asbestic cats or whatever, which they're, you know, because a lot of them get up in that insulation. Like you're saying they get that asbestos.

[Dusty Slay]

On them and then you let them in the trailer. Now you're all itchy.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude, whatever. I would notice. I'd pet a cat about 40 times and my hand would have little cuts.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, you could give a cat allergy.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude, the asbestic cats needs to be a group of cats that save a trailer park.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You could line the cats up as insulation if they got enough.

[Theo Von]

Just put a little bit of tuna paste on the walls in there and have them in there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

God, yeah, there was something. They had lattice work. I remember. That was one good thing. You Would see, dude, somebody. We had a balcony or whatever. We lived in, like, it was, like, four apartments next to each other. And they. Somebody stole our bat, Would steal the wood from our balcony, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. And so, like, just wood they had laying up there or like, you're railing.

[Theo Von]

Oh, they'd steal it all. If you can find that photo, it's out there somewhere. So we come back sometimes, and my sister. Each one of the bedrooms had, like, a door upstairs that would go out to the balcony, right? And it didn't get you anywhere. You still in our neighborhood. We thought like, you know, I remember the first time going up there. You go right there. Now zoom in on that.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, they took your whole porch.

[Theo Von]

Oh, fuck. Yeah, they did. But then you'd see it, you know, three weeks later, you'd see they'd have built a fucking fence or something in their shit. And we're like.

[Dusty Slay]

You're like, that's the color of my porch.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that's our balcony. And I'm like, no, it ain't. Like, who do you think carved. God help us, into one of those boards?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

With my initials under it.

[Dusty Slay]

That's why you got to pee in your roof. You can't go out on the balcony anymore.

[Theo Von]

Zoom back in on that. I looked at this in years, but, yeah, dude, people would steal the wood, and they would steal. We had a fence right in front of the bottom door downstairs. And so people would steal that shit. So you have to go find it. My mom slapped a kid one time because they took it, and she had to go to jail.

[Dusty Slay]

We had a bar. My dad had a barn. And we used to. We would take wood off the barn to build a clubhouse.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And we thought the barn was abandoned. And my dad went out there one day. He's like, where's all the wood? And then he sees our clubhouse.

[Theo Von]

Dude, Imagine having such a shitty childhood that you think part of your fucking home is abandoned. You're like, well, fucking. That's abandoned. Like, that's where I work. That's crazy, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, but the trailer park that I lived in, it did feel good. It felt organized, you know? But there was. You know, there was for a while, my sister lived next door to us in a trailer. So we had a trailer. My sister and her husband had the next one, and she married into a guy who had two kids already, so there was, you know, a bunch of kids. We had our own little courtyard there in the middle, and it's nice, and.

[Theo Von]

It kind of sounds like.

[Dusty Slay]

And then people. My mom Had a phone, and people would come over and borrow the phone, you know, landline.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So I'd have that long cord. And so people would be out on the back porch on the phone with the door closed. Like they still want privacy even though they're using my phone.

[Theo Von]

Hey, look, we're gonna listen. If you came over here, we're gonna listen.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude, that was. Things like that were so much fun. Well, one thing that money gets you is privacy. Or even just like. That's one thing I even saw, I think, when I was young, like when you were poor, everything was right there. You could hear the neighbors, you know, in the apartment. Somebody else would cook something. It would come through your vents.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

So you're hungry, and you're like, they got all that y. And now you're yelling through the vents, you know, fudge, y'. All, you know, but order, you know, but also ordering, like a number seven or whatever, you know, so, you know, it's just like. But you would hear if somebody was doing something bad or whatever. If somebody was. Domestic dispute, you would hear all of that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, my buddy. His. His mom, he lived next door. His mom had him when she was really young, so she was like, you know, we were like, you know, early teens, and she was still pretty attractive. And her. And her husband or her boyfriend. I heard them, like, having sex. And they're in trailer walls real thin, so I could hear it out in the yard. And I was like, me and my buddy. Not the buddy that was his mom, but another guy. We're, like, creeping up to the. And my mom's out there raking the yard. She's like, get away from there. But we're like, you know, we're like, this is pretty fun. We're here.

[Theo Von]

What's happening?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we're hearing this attractive lady have sex.

[Theo Von]

God.

[Dusty Slay]

Middle of the day.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That was like, you know, that could have been Cinemax for us.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude, you don't just get something like that unless God has favor.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I don't think.

[Theo Von]

Anyway, that's not an accident. First of all, two people comfortable enough to make love, and it. Was it drug induced, you think?

[Dusty Slay]

Or at least alcohol induced.

[Theo Von]

Okay, so. So. But yeah, but at least two people making love during the day, and neither one of them is a victim of something.

[Dusty Slay]

And they're being loud.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, they're brave.

[Dusty Slay]

Then it's like, you know, we can hear it. My mom's doing yard work out. We're into it, though. We're like, this is what I'm talking.

[Theo Von]

About, well, what if you don't really figure out it's not. And you see your mom just rubbing the. Like, the rake across the ground, and it's like. And you're like, what is she. What kind of new grass is that? She's like. She just keeps raking.

[Dusty Slay]

You're like, I'm like, you're working too hard. She's like, I enjoy it.

[Theo Von]

She's trying to cover for them. She's over there. Sorry, man. I'm not supposed to laugh and like this a bunch, but that's hilarious, dude. Yeah. I just look like. There was always something great about being in, like, in a shitty neighborhood, kind of, you know, because everybody was right. If you wanted a friend, they were right there. They were every. But everything was right there. But then also all the drama and the. Was right there. Like.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

If people were fighting. If people were like, you know, the dad was leaving, everything was right there. So everybody knew everything. You couldn't. It kind of was sad sometimes because you didn't feel like anything was personal to you. It. There was nothing you could keep for yourself.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Does that make any sense?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I think living in trailers, you're at least spread out a little bit, whereas apartments. Yeah, you would be right up. I mean, because I've lived in apartments since then, but. Yeah, we called the police on a church one time for playing their music too late too. On a weekday. Like, the church was real close. I still think about that, that we all agreed at the trailer to call the police on the church. It couldn't have been that loud. We could just hear it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It wasn't keeping us up.

[Theo Von]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

But we were like, no, I don't think so, guys.

[Theo Von]

God, this is. I mean, they need to turn that. Yeah, that's how it starts. I mean, should they turn that down? And somebody else is like. Somebody else has had a beer and they're like.

[Dusty Slay]

And I can't hear my music.

[Theo Von]

It weird. There's always talk like, tornadoes is such a big thing with trailer parks. Was that a part of yalls thing or. Not really.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I think any storm is scary when you live in a trailer. Right. It's like, you know, we were just talking, like, about weather and like, what. What storm is the scariest? And somebody said earthquakes was the scariest for them. But I'm like, I grew up in a trailer. Earthquake was the least of our worries. There's nothing even really to fall on you, but it's tornadoes or tornadoes. Even when we grew up under Pine Trees. We had a ice storm once that froze a tree limb and the tree limb fell and it stabbed through the roof of the trailer.

[Theo Von]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And hit a shelf. My mom had a bunch of ceramic owls on it. They went everywhere. Yeah, it's. It's heartbreaking.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that is heartbreaking.

[Dusty Slay]

But so all weather and so. Yeah. Tornado. We had a. Tornadoes blow trees down on our trailer one time.

[Theo Von]

Oh, well, down in Alabama, I think. Think they have the worst trees if a strong storm, tornado does show up.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

They literally have these tall ponds there. You can't really do anything with them. They drop pine cones. There's someone's fun around the holidays or whatever, but they're a million feet tall and literally just waiting to freaking kill somebody.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Felt one fell across the trailer, another one fell on top of it.

[Theo Von]

It's almost like they're doing a game like that. Like hands on the baseball bat, like whoever gets to the top, you know.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

It's like the. The pot, they're just going to keep falling until somebody. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Are just right under. I mean, the. The tree weighs more than the trailer does.

[Theo Von]

There's more wood in the tree.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Than there is in the trailer.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. It's like the tree is almost like, here, use us. We're right here. You're living in this aluminum.

[Theo Von]

The tree's trying to help. Oh, God, dude. Yeah, that kind of shit just fucking. I'm trying to think of whatever else really got me. Oh, dude. Well, one time when it froze, when there was a freezing in the south, it was a big thing, huge deal. And one kid, I remember, we had a basketball game, and it was a freezing, and we were playing, like, the rival town, and it froze, right. And it snowed at halftime, and it hadn't snowed in our town in probably 30 years or something. And so people were going crazy and drinking Dr. Pepper really fast and just amped up, you know, and stealing gas from each other, that kind of shit. People were excited. And one kid, this kid Lucas had went outside and an icicle, I guess, had formed on a tree at some point and had fallen and hit him right under his fucking eye and messed his eye up really bad. And his mom tried to, like, sue the city or whatever and all kinds of shit. And she's like. I remember, she's like, he was never the same. And I knew that fucking kid for that. He was never the same before it happened. You know what I'm saying? He was.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, the icicle didn't really mess up his path I think you didn't get it.

[Theo Von]

You didn't get a strong take on your son before that icicle hit him.

[Dusty Slay]

Right.

[Theo Von]

Oh, it's easy to show up once there's a weather lawsuit, you know.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. The city's. I will show us some of his accomplishments prior to this.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. And he was just a downward stock out of the gate, I think, you know, I mean, he couldn't even fucking whistle. I remember, like, boo. But yeah, there was something growing up, like, in, like, a place that, like, I don't know, know, like, that was just fun, man.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, yeah, you just get. You got some character. There's not a lot going on. Yeah. You know, I mean, you know, we.

[Theo Von]

You made the most of it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, we were just hanging. I mean, talk about pine cones. It's like, we love pine cones. We used to throw them at each other. You build fires out of the pine straw, burn pine cones. Get a fresh pine cone. That's not spread out. It's real hard.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

A lot of spikes on it.

[Theo Von]

A virgin one or underage when some guys.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, not like these old. Oh, wore out, stretched out pine cones.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Like a fresh green one. We'd throw rocks at each other. We'd ride the bike. We. I remember there were these girls riding bikes up and down the. And we were throwing rocks at them.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And my. My buddy missed and hit me in the head.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And I was bleeding. I started crying. You know, there's no one to sue.

[Theo Von]

Well, also, dude, that's another thing about being poor. There's no. Who are you going to sue? The other person. Nobody has shit. No attorney is going to support.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Either one of you guys. Dude, one time we're riding on the school bus, and this kid Jason, and he was. Came from a pretty shirtless family. Like, somebody got the shirt, but they had it. Like, not everybody got it or whatever. But he. On the bus that day, he's like. He found a rock that was pretty good. And he's like, I'm throwing this bitch today. You know, he was just fired up or whatever because I think his birthday was coming. Coming up. And he's like, I'm throwing this today. Somebody's gonna get hit by this. And he kept showing it to me. We kind of hung out in different little realms of school. They had, like, at our school, they had the hick tree, prep tree. Blacks kind of went out wherever they wanted, kind of. And then hick tree prep tree. And one other thing. I think it was just, like, people that Listen to Sound Garden or whatever, you know.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, like a. Yeah, like a grunge.

[Theo Von]

Yes. Yeah, like a grunge thing. And so anyway, he was over by the hick tree, and he's like. And I would hang out over by the prep tree. I just had more friends over there. And at one point, he had his rock. He's already. I'd forgot about it. So at recess that day, I'm fucking hanging out over there. Fucking rock comes, hits me, right. Of all the people, he didn't even aim at him. He just hummed that bitch. Fucking took me right out.

[Dusty Slay]

You were hanging out under the wrong tree that night.

[Theo Von]

Still. I'm like, dude, dude, just fucking. I'm the only guy you know over there.

[Dusty Slay]

And he probably was just throwing at the prep tree 100%. He's just like, I want to hit somebody under the prep tree. They think they're better than me. I want to hit people under the prep tree. That's my attitude. That would have been my. I didn't throw the rock, but, you know, my mindset was, I'd like to throw a rock over there.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, somebody's gonna feel a little bit of my pain today, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

And I had friends over there too. Yeah, I had friends in the hick tree, the prep tree, the black tree. I had to have friends under all of them.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. You know, God, dude. And I might even over there just bumming money off.

[Dusty Slay]

Even the Lay ocean tree. Yeah, they were all my friends.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude, I met some good Laotians. You know who's La Ocean is? There's a comedian named Lucas Sealy.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, I don't know. Lucas.

[Theo Von]

Lucas, he lives in Montana now, I believe. He took me up there to. They had a Montana comedy festival. We had a good time up there, but he's LA Ocean. I met some decent Laotians over the years, and I'd love to meet more of them, to be honest with you.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, Opelika is the spot. I think that's the La Ocean of Alabama. Yeah, Laos of Alabama. Because La Ocean's not the country.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Oh, there you go. Right there is Lucas. I believe he is Laotian. He runs a. Yeah, a lot of good food there. He. His family has a egg roll truck.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Theo Von]

Wet Heat, man. That's what you're calling the special.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, Wet Heat. And it's. I like the. I like the name because you don't know what the name might know. It could be. Hey, we're. We're taught we're doing a 90s sitcom. There's a little murder, a little sex. You don't know. It could be buddy cop film that takes place in Miami. But it's a weather joke. Wet heat, humidity. I. I go out to Phoenix, you know, and they're always like, oh, I'll go. It's real hot out here. And they go, yeah, but it's a dry heat, you know?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And, like, they're like, their heat is better than my heat. Right. And I get defensive and I go, yeah, but I like a wet heat. So that's what I tell them. I like a wet heat. So that's why it's called that.

[Theo Von]

I like.

[Dusty Slay]

It's a great special. Like, I had another one called Working man that's on Netflix now. It's very good. I think Wet Heat's better.

[Theo Von]

I like that.

[Dusty Slay]

I. I'm very pumped about it. I'm all about a full spare. I got a lot of callbacks, you know, I got a lot of things that. A couple of themes that come around a couple of times. And I like that. It's like a. You know, it's like a Pink Floyd album. The whole thing matters.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I watched about 15 minutes of it, and I enjoyed it, man. I like how I kind of get in. And then there's some spots. Are really just surprised. Like, I knew you always know you're gonna laugh most of the time. But there's some spots where I really just found myself just like, surprise. I can't tell if it was the delivery. I don't know what it is, but just really enjoying it, man.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I appreciate that. And, you know, it's about 70 minutes, so if you watch it 15 minutes at a time, you got got. You got about. I don't know. I'm not good at math, but maybe about four more settings, you know.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. I can invite friends over and have it in installments.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Come over, watch another 15 minutes of the special with me.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I was trying to think because I. I don't know if I'm at the part. Oh, I am at a part where there's a lot of urine in it. And talking about peeing and growing up and how many times men pee or don't pee.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, I got, you know, I got a lot of bodily functions in there, probably more so than any special I put out. But I like, you know, I just. I pee a lot. I drink a lot of. And I'm out here peeing.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. And it's a wet heat.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it is a wet heat. How do you pee Is a wet heat.

[Theo Von]

It's the ultimate.

[Dusty Slay]

That's a. That's something I missed. That's a theme I missed.

[Theo Von]

Well, I won't even wear. I notice at night, honestly, dusty. I won't even wear those tight underpants anymore because I don't. It pushes on my bladder.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I don't like that.

[Theo Von]

I didn't even think about this because I've been buying these kind of semi tight undies or whatever and it co. It kind of, you know, it's tight. The band up here is tight.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And so then my bladder didn't even get to fully expand and hold a normal amount.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh yeah.

[Theo Von]

And so all like twice and twice a night I have to get up extra just because I've chosen tight undies.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, you gotta just get loose with it. Just let it free, you know, I.

[Theo Von]

Want to almost make a good cotton undy because they say a lot of those polyamorous or polymethylene underpants or whatever. The plastic's getting in people's nuts.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm all about 100 cotton. I wear 100 cotton underwear. These socks are not. Jeans are. Sure it is 100 cotton. I'm all about. I like linen, wool, cotton. That's where I'm at these days.

[Theo Von]

Really.

[Dusty Slay]

Not together. All on their own.

[Theo Von]

Oh yeah. I don't mix meats. You know what I mean?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't want to blend it. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's where it's at though. And I think I got like a pee paranoia. Almost like if I'm getting on the plane, I'm like, nah, I gotta go pee. Because if I get on the plane and then I. We sit there for a while, I won't have to, you know, because you get you boy. If you bored early, you sit down.

[Theo Von]

It's a good point.

[Dusty Slay]

And then by the time everybody else is boarded and then you take off, it's like it's a long time to get to pee.

[Theo Von]

There's no way to win that. Exactly.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And then some flight attendant get. Goes in the bathroom and they're in there all day. I'm like, what are you doing in there?

[Theo Von]

Sudoku. Yeah, we know it. Yeah, so we know it. Yeah. But yeah, it's like. Like there is no way to leverage that perfectly where you. Because yeah, if you get on early, then you have to wait all that time before you even leave. Whereas if you wait and pee and get on last, that's kind of nice. But then you have to wait all that whole time in that line.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I Feel like. Sometimes I feel like I go, no, I want to board at the end. I'm just gonna chill, but I can't. I can't chill. I'm like, nah, I gotta get on right now. I gotta get on. Let's go ahead and get on. Yeah, there's a lot of. I don't want to call it anxiety because I'm not.

[Theo Von]

Not.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm not anxious about it, but I'm like, nah, I could get on right now. I'm gonna go ahead and do.

[Theo Von]

And then I'm on.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Because anything out there, you see the gate agent, you see them, they. The gate agent, they're basically the St. Peter with us with a lot of times mental conditions. Right. They don't. They'll be like, the gates closed. Gates not closed. They'll be like, we're full. Not. You know, I'm saying you don't know how they're going to be feeling and.

[Dusty Slay]

That, you know, they don't get treated well by people. I realize that, but it must be a hard life.

[Theo Von]

Life.

[Dusty Slay]

They don't seem happy.

[Theo Von]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

And then you. Every. Every time you go talk to them, they just do like this. They just do like this. They're just typing away.

[Theo Von]

Cat. Like that cat meme.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. They just type it away and it's like, what are you typing? What are you typing back there?

[Theo Von]

Oh, they're probably just typing down the F word over and over again. That's what I'd be doing, you know, I think.

[Dusty Slay]

Anyway, I'm gonna ask to see the screen.

[Theo Von]

What else? Oh, you sold pesticides. Is that true?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. So pesticides. I was a pesticide sale. I sold to Lowe's and Home Depot. That's what I did for years. I lived in Charleston, South Carolina.

[Theo Von]

Did you really do. I used to live on King Street.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, you live on King Street.

[Theo Von]

I used to live above the Bebe store for probably about eight months.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, amazing. I lived on Burns Alley, which is right off King.

[Theo Von]

Was it over there by Kicking Chicken or something?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, really close to Kicking Chicken.

[Theo Von]

God, it was so good.

[Dusty Slay]

I used to tear the cake and.

[Theo Von]

Chicken up if it was good. God.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I lived in Charleston for 10 years from 2003 to 2014.

[Theo Von]

Great place.

[Dusty Slay]

I loved it. So that's where I started comedy. And I. I waited tables.

[Theo Von]

Just kicking Chicken right there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

But it used to be different. That must be another location. They had a downtown, like, I think downtown's gone now.

[Dusty Slay]

The downtown cake and chicken's go.

[Theo Von]

It's been A while.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

They had a little alley and then they had that Harris teeter over there.

[Dusty Slay]

Was that theater. Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Had that joint. And then I worked at a bar called o'. Brien. I think it's called o'. Brien's.

[Dusty Slay]

I think I remember it was an Irish bar on King Street. Yeah, yeah, I think.

[Theo Von]

And they had a band that played in there like once a week. It was a cover band, and I would go listen to them.

[Dusty Slay]

What was the COVID band? I feel like there was like a Molly James or a Jane. Ah, there was something like that. They were there forever. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Dude, I've tried to remember the name of that cover band for the past five years, and I can't remember.

[Dusty Slay]

Ah, yeah, they were there forever. I remember hearing them when I first moved there. Everybody was advertising them and then they were still going.

[Theo Von]

And they would play Climate Safety about Widespread Panic, and I would. They played a lot of, like, songs everybody knew, like sing alongs.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

But they also played Climb to Safety while Widespread Panic mannequin. I loved it. And one time they let me get up there and ring like a. Ring a little bell or something.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, like pre Internet, Charleston was like. I don't know, it was just great. It was like this nice little hidden city. I lived on Folly beach for a while.

[Theo Von]

Dude, Folly Beach. People would surf out there. Yeah, people would get surf angry out there. And she's like, you dropped in on my wave. And she'd be like, dude, what are you.

[Dusty Slay]

I know.

[Theo Von]

What is anybody talking about here?

[Dusty Slay]

I know, I know. We were just supposed to be. Yeah, I used to hang out on the beach. I used to drink all the time on the beach. It was great. They had a place called the Sand Dollar, which I had to get a membership.

[Theo Von]

They had a place called the Silver Dollar Bar, which was over. Off on. Across. That was kind of downtown, but across.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, I got beat up outside the Silver Dollar one time.

[Theo Von]

I think I almost did.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. So, yeah, I think it was a Silver Dollar. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And Port side, they had a place over there called Port side Silver Dollar. Yeah, there it is. Silver Dollar.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

But there's always people doing blow over there. Yeah, thankfully.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, that's. Yeah, a lot of that going on in Charleston.

[Theo Von]

Dude. I was there during 9 11. I went up there, actually. I was. I hitchhiked up there to meet. There was a girl that I was in love with that moved away and she didn't want me to be around her. And she was right, you know, it.

[Dusty Slay]

Was getting you hitchhiked to see her. That's. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

When you're willing to. This is before Uber. This is when.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. How'd you get here? I just rode with some strangers in anything it took.

[Theo Von]

And it was like, it was 12 hours down from Louisiana, but I got up there and yeah, it wasn't good. I remember I was on her porch one night and I was like, this has got to stop, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

That's when I shut it down and got Mac together.

[Dusty Slay]

Took some of the wood from the porch on the way out. I'm trying to rebuild something at home here.

[Theo Von]

What am I going to make a shrine to her out of? Yeah, obviously her porch wood is the best thing to make it out of.

[Dusty Slay]

Of.

[Theo Von]

But, yeah, thankfully nobody caught me over there. And I just remember I was on that porch petting a cat that wasn't mine. I don't know if it was hers. And I was like, God, I. I am. I am emotionally, I've got some emotional issues, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And then 911 happened when I was there. That was kind of wild. But. But yeah, I love Charleston, man. Great place.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's awesome. My friend said you gave a speech at his school in Louisiana. Mary, I think, is where he grew up.

[Theo Von]

Up.

[Dusty Slay]

I forget the school he told me.

[Theo Von]

But I believe you. I just.

[Dusty Slay]

Boys school.

[Theo Von]

I can't even remember. Oh, it was a boy school.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, he said.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it was rumble or something.

[Dusty Slay]

I think so. Maybe so.

[Theo Von]

Oh, my God, dude, that just came back to me. Oh, it might have been when I was in distance student council, but maybe not. I don't know, dude. I forgot about that. That's crazy. It's weird how life will go on. You just remember things that happened.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I mean, like, yeah, the. The brain is super weird. Like, you can just. It feels like channels up and you go, oh, whoa. Here's a bunch of memories locked in here.

[Theo Von]

Do you think our brain, that all of our memories are available in our brain?

[Dusty Slay]

I think so, but maybe. Maybe our brain remembers them differently because people will tell stories about me. And I go, that's definitely not how it happened. Yeah, but am I remembering it wrong or are they remembering it wrong? I got punched in the face by a female firefighter one time. Yeah. And this guy, my buddy, he tells the story all the time and he always tells what I said. And I just know that I didn't say that, but I was drunk enough to get punched in the face, so maybe I don't remember.

[Theo Von]

Right. And then at that point, what if you know you were Drunk enough. It's like, well, do I want to disrespect this story by just trying to put maybe my current ego in? And even though I. But if I was drunk, I was out of control. Could that have happened? Happened, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And then it's what I realized from growing up. A lot of my friends, I'll tell stories from growing up. My friends are like, dude, I don't even remember that. I'm like, you don't remember that? I'm like, dude, that's like the only thing that, like that year, that was the only thing that happened. You don't remember?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh yeah.

[Theo Von]

I'm just amazed that some people don't remember things.

[Dusty Slay]

I think sometimes with us as comedians, like we're spending time thinking about stuff to write jokes about it, that we can recall all these things. But like people that aren't trying to think about it, they're like, oh, I can't believe you remember that. And I go, this is. All I do is sit around and think about this stuff.

[Theo Von]

That's a good point. And even if it's not me actively doing it, there's a part of my brain that I think is obsessed with being young and growing up and like, wants to have all of that as much as I can. Here, it says right here, is this Perplexity, man. We started using this. Perplexity. Have you heard of this?

[Dusty Slay]

No.

[Theo Von]

It's. It's. It's an AI. The brain holds and organizes all the memories we are able to form and retain. But it is not a flawless or complete archive of everything we've ever experienced. Memories can be changed, lost, or difficult to recall. Not everything is stored perfectly or forever.

[Dusty Slay]

That's interesting.

[Theo Von]

I know. I wonder if I should get someone to come on sometime who knows really the deepness of this.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And how could you open it up? They used to say acid would open different parts to your brain. Yeah, that's what they always said. That's why we like to take it. We would with. Because we didn't think we were partying. No, we were like, we're doing an experiment.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. We're hiding in an above ground pool for four hours laughing at we don't know what. But this is all under the guise of science.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, this. We're. Yeah, we're open. We're expanding our minds here. We want to. I want to listen to this Pink Floyd album and understand what he means.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude, I remember my friend, we did some LSD or something. Mushrooms, I don't remember. And he had A flashback of an Asian kid that had allegedly lived in our town or something. And he got so scared and then he went and he locked himself in a closet for like five or six hours. And we're like, dude, that's just on acid. Oh yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh yeah.

[Theo Von]

And he, he had anxiety ever since then. Every, that, that, that was a lot for him.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't understand how locking yourself in a closet would make your, yourself feel better. Yeah, he needed some better. A better. But I don't know, what do you do, you know?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I, I, and if I knocked on the door, he got very racial and very like, I don't want to say anti Asian, whatever. He just was going through a lot and I was like, I'm not going to fucking bother him. What am I going to do?

[Dusty Slay]

We're having a good time.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, what am I going to do? Get a fucking one of those like straw hats and like a fish basket and fucking just go in there, there and rattle his cage? Hell no. I'm gonna support my buddy. And that night we're at my buddy, we're at another dude's house and I was like, I'm getting out of here. And he's like, you shouldn't leave, dude, you took all your clothes off in the backyard. And I was like, yeah, well, you guys, I'm not being caged up by this white hate or whatever, you know, I just, I get out there, I go get in my car as a 1984 Ford Escort and thankfully I accidentally got in the back. Right. Right. I kind of stumbled trying to get out of the door, push the seat, went forward, honked the horn, the front horn. Cuz I was in the back seat. The, the, the seat moved forward and honked the front horn and his mom came out and thankfully shut it down because I could have driven off. Yeah, you know, get scary, man. Drugs and driver's licenses.

[Dusty Slay]

I've driven on acid many times and yeah, and it's, it's a blast. I mean it is a, it's a disaster. It shouldn't happen, but it was. That's another thing. Small towns, you know, you're out late enough, nobody else is out there.

[Theo Von]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

What's the danger, really? You know?

[Theo Von]

Oh yeah, the birds are gone. The dogs even shut down everybody.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we would drive around. Me and my buddy, we drove around, we were like so out of our minds. I was like biting the steering wheel while I was driving.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude. I remember one time we drove past, we just taken this LSD and we drove past a, a Cop. And he stopped us, dude. And he's like, what the are y' all doing? Blah, blah, blah. And we caused trouble in town before, and he's just like, I don't remember what his reason was, but he's like, I don't want. I don't want to see you. I don't want to see you guys out again tonight. And we're like, yes, sir. No problem. Not a pro. No. Definitely not. Yes, sir. No, sir. Right?

[Dusty Slay]

We.

[Theo Von]

We covered every bas. Right, Right, dude, Fast forward. Five hours later, we are just gleaming on this lsd. We are. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm like, kind of being like, oh, just saying, like, oh, I think there's way too many teeth in my mouth. Right? Like, oh, yeah, we're not doing good. And we realize we are coming up on the same street exactly where that cop is parked. And he's parked there again. And we're like, we promised this dude, dude, we would not. And we're up. We are. This is not gonna do. This is not gonna end well. And we thought if we go. This is our idea, dude. If we go as slow as possible, he won't see us, right?

[Dusty Slay]

He's sneaking by.

[Theo Von]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, dude.

[Theo Von]

Yes. If we go fast. That's how they catch everybody speeding. Yeah, we go as slow as possible, dude. Dude.

[Dusty Slay]

All looking.

[Theo Von]

Probably caught us so fast. Dude. Put us all in for the night.

[Dusty Slay]

You're like, hey, we're. We're trying to get home. Yeah, you told us to get home. We're just looking for it, man.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Between two factor authentication, strong passwords, and a VPN, you try to be in control of how you your info is protected, but many other places also have it and they might not be as careful. That's why LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast for 40% off. Terms apply. With prices going up on just about everything lately, dealing with money can be stressful. Luckily, Rocket Money can relieve some of that stress and help you feel confident in the financial decisions you make. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. I have seen Rocket Money work firsthand. I have friends that use it to keep tabs on subscriptions that they have have and help them cancel subscriptions that they didn't know they were a part of online or on different apps. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money Money. Go to RocketMoney.com T H E O today that's RocketMoney.com Theo RocketMoney.com Theo this is an ad by BetterHelp. Workplace stress is now one of the top causes of declining mental health, with 61% of the global workforce experiencing higher than normal levels of stress. Even if you work from home, it's home place stress. It happens to most of us. I've had problems in my life dealing with things, keeping things organized, keeping the flow, trusting myself, trusting my instincts, et cetera, et cetera. And BetterHelp was an option for me. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an App store rating of 4.9 out of 5 based on over 1.7 million client reviews. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] the that's better. H E L P.com Theo did you ever run any, any issues with the pesticide? You run any good? Any good?

[Dusty Slay]

Tales from the well, you know, I did that for like nine years and I'm just like, I, I got one joke out of it. And, you know, I used to, you know, it was four companies we sold to Lowe's and Home Depot, those four companies. I dated a girl that was on the competition for a while, and I'm pretty sure she had a boyfriend and she was dating me at work.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I love that.

[Dusty Slay]

So we would just, you know, like you had to go to the store and you'd have to call into the office from the store phone. And then so I would go in and I would call us both in and then we would go drink for a while and then we, and then we would go back to the store and she would call us both out. That way the store didn't see us coming and going. So we had, I mean, we had a wild summer. I had, I had not all the same territory that she had. So some days I had to work, but on those days I was Great. I mean, we would just party, me and her. And she was like. She was real hot. And it was like. Even the other pesticide reps were like, she's dating you?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And I'm like, I guess so, guys. I guess things are turning around.

[Theo Von]

You just take a hit off that side, off that peace side.

[Dusty Slay]

That's all right, you know? And it felt good. And, you know, I should have been fired. I had. But, you know, I was. My sales numbers were good. I looked good.

[Theo Von]

I mean, sometimes it's just, who do we want pulling up to the door to sell pesticide? Who are people going to believe when they open the door and they see.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I'm just selling to the stores, right. So I don't have to go door to door. But I looked all right, you know, I probably was a little heavy. I've been drinking a lot. I was. I was probably. I was drinking all the time. Time. So, you know, a lot of times I'd pull up to the store, clock in, go sit in the car, smoke cigarettes, go to sleep, you know. Right, right. Yeah. Because it's like, dude, look, don't act.

[Theo Von]

Like I haven't had a job.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And my boss was like, you got to be there at a certain time. And I was like, it doesn't matter, because the stores have no idea if this is my first store of the day or my second store. He's like, no, you got to be there. And I'm like, well, if I got to be there, this is how I'll handle it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I'll clock in and then I'll go, you know, Eat a bagel in the car and smoke cigarettes or dip.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. I mean, you gotta find ways to kill time.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, I'm the king of killing time.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's gotta be your next special, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, I can sit in a car all day. It doesn't make any difference to me. You give me the radio, some nicotine, I'm there all day.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. God, I love that shit, dude. I used to love fucking sitting in a car. I remember I'd fucking sit in there. Like, a lot of times my dad would go do something. I don't know what he was doing, but he. Because he didn't have a job or anything, but he would leave me in the car, and I would put. Try to put all the seat belts on. I'd like, try to sit in the middle.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And put all five seat belts on, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Just do cool. Like that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Nothing like being left in the car. As a kid back then with.

[Theo Von]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, there was no.

[Theo Von]

The cigarette lighter thing.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I had a cigarette. I had a Bronco. The cigarette lighter would, like, if you didn't have your hand up there would. It's so spring loaded. It would pop out onto the floor. Yeah. I mean, it has some power to it. To it.

[Theo Von]

Oh, you don't wear sandals around this mother.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. No, no. Yeah, I loved it. Yeah, you could. I love that. The way the cigarettes were built, you know, you smoke the cigarette and they just hold that thing right up there to it.

[Theo Von]

That thing felt real.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I had an ashtray in there with ashes in it. I mean, it wasn't coins in there. I was using that.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that was so nice, dude. When that cigarette. Because when you were a kid, if your grandparents, your parents left you in the car, you could push a cigarette lighter in and you knew it was going to get hot. You were not allowed around hot stuff. You weren't allowed to have hot stuff. But that thing, you figured out how to work it and then you take it out and you're like, I wonder if it's hot. And it would be. It was the hottest thing they had.

[Dusty Slay]

And then you're lighting paper on fire. You're putting paper and your grandma's like, where's all the receipts?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And.

[Theo Von]

Where'S my bookkeeping? Where's my missing posters for your stepfather? I don't know. God, that was fun, dude. My buddy's dad, my friend Bubby Jenkins, his dad would. I'd miss the bus or just say it or whatever because I didn't really love the government or whatever, but his dad would give me a ride to school, and his dad would do my spelling words and blow cigarette smoke in my face to make it harder for me to memorize them. To challenge me, dude, he'd rip two or three darts on the way there.

[Dusty Slay]

You gotta love that kind of help. You're like, I really. I really appreciate that. You know, because then you're good under pressure.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Like, I learned to drive a stick shift with my dad yelling at me.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Like yelling at me about not knowing how to work a clutch that I've just tried for the first time today.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And so you're like, now I'm good. I can drive a stick shift for the rest of my life.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. Especially when your sexuality is under a threat. When it came to anything back then, it was like, how do you know how to do this?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. It's like, this is my first time. Time. And he's like, yelling at me, and we're on a back road. There's that traffic behind us.

[Theo Von]

Oh, it's. Everything was a Vietnam back then at times, man. It was. And also the pressure just growing up, everything felt intense. You know, learning things and want to get them right and be cool and know the cool stuff.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, my dad is. Knows how to do a lot of things, but is not a teacher.

[Theo Von]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

So, like, you, like, think you're doing it right, and you're like, there's a lot of pressure to be doing it right. Right. But it's never right.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

He's gonna tell you how to do it. Even if he told you how to do it and you did it that way, he's gonna be like, nah. Like this.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm like, no, this is the way you told me, though. Yeah, but do it like this.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, we're not doing it like that. I don't know where you learn that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, we don't do it like that anymore, I'll tell you that.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah. I mean, I would tell you a story about my dad teaching me something, but he didn't teach me shit, dude. And then. But he would. Once I was tall enough, would expect me to be able to drive in places, right? Because. Yeah. I mean, my dad was just so old, and one day he's like, I think you can do it. And I was like, what? And he's like, I think you can drive me to Slide Ale. And I was like, I don't know, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

And how far would that be for you?

[Theo Von]

Probably 17 miles. Right?

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Theo Von]

I was like, I could. I don't know. But you want to do it?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You want to support your dad or whatever? And. And I did it, man. He. We got out there on the interstate, and.

[Dusty Slay]

Why would he need you to drive?

[Theo Von]

He was so old, he couldn't see that good.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Theo Von]

But we had to get there. And so it was like, you know, what are you gonna do? Yeah. Because he used to do those credit card signups at colleges. He'd get people to sign up for credit cards, and he'd get me out there on the table to call them over and whatever, you know, and, you know, make promises to him or something. And so we drive over to, like, Southeastern Louisiana University or Delgado or some school somewhere, and we'd pull all this out, and he's giving out free candies or whatever. Whistles or something, you know, or it'd be like a whistle that yells a slur or something if you hit that right octave on her Frisbees, you know, like that.

[Dusty Slay]

So he got, he got money for the, for signing people up for credit.

[Theo Von]

Cards if people signed up. I think he got like a dollar fee, 50. But I think it had to be approved and shit.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

But I'd sit there and fill a couple extra out while I was there. Yeah, we're killing time. He had no idea what's going. He'd be asleep, awake. He'd go to get a sandwich, fall asleep over there. It's just like, it was, it was like a huge game of hide and go seek.

[Dusty Slay]

And that's why you'd need to get to slide out.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, for sure.

[Dusty Slay]

So you're driving, you're working it. This is learning things. He may not be teaching it, but you're learning things.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that was it, man.

[Dusty Slay]

You're learning to hustle.

[Theo Von]

Hustle? Yeah, it was a hustle, dude. It was fun, though. Yeah. Any other blue collar kind of jobs that you had?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I, you know, I, I, I did restaurants mostly. I worked at a restaurant called Hyman's in Charleston. I don't know if you ever went there. It would have been around. It was nice. It was nice. It's a tourist spot, but it's good food.

[Theo Von]

Bring it up.

[Dusty Slay]

I mean, it's, I think I went.

[Theo Von]

There not long ago.

[Dusty Slay]

A hot spot. They have the, they have a lot of pictures on the wall of famous people that have been there over the years. And I finally have my picture on the wall. I'm finally on the wall. I was like, that's what I'm talking about.

[Theo Von]

Let's go. Hyman's, baby.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And Hyman's is great. There were so many employees at Hyman's that I run into people still all over the country that I used to work with.

[Theo Von]

Why was there so many?

[Dusty Slay]

It just was, it took up, it took up three addresses on the street. And then it was second floor, you know, first floor and second floor. Restauran restaurant.

[Theo Von]

That's beautiful.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Actually, it took up, it was like from 213 to 221. That many addresses on the block. It was great.

[Theo Von]

We should go do a show there sometime, man.

[Dusty Slay]

We should. I mean, Charleston is, is the best.

[Theo Von]

That would be cool. I started this, the tour I'm on now started in Charleston and so what did you do? I don't even remember.

[Dusty Slay]

It's probably North Charleston Performing Arts center on campus. Oh, the Gailyard, maybe.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Very nice.

[Theo Von]

Yes, very nice.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I just did the Gail yard too. Very Nice. I watched the Gailyard be built, so I was like very happy to do that. I mean, because a lot of people that I. That's where I started comedy. So a lot of people I started comedy with and people that knew me around that time all got to come there and see me.

[Theo Von]

Dude, that's pretty exceptional.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it was a big deal.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Because being a comedian, you're not. Everybody thinks you're just hiding from your parents or whatever. Whatever. Until you get something people can see.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

It's a weird thing to tell people you're doing. I feel like. Did you feel like that?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, even doing tv, it can still be like, you could still be. Not necessarily seen. Like you're doing great until they see you in a big venue and they go, oh, look at all these people that bought tickets to see you.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

It like, means more then.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Or on a show they have to see something. Everybody be like, well, what do you, you know, know?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I just did Hollywood Squares. I think a lot of older people in my life feel like I made it when they saw me on Hollywood Squares.

[Theo Von]

Oh, definitely.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. There's. Everybody has their own idea of kind of what making it is, you know, and it could be anything and it could be from any, you know, it could be some people thinking it's Charlemagne, the God show. It could be some people. Oh, there you are right there, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Justin Long and Drew Barrymore on there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I did an another episode with them and I was where Jeff Dunham's at. So I was right next to Drew Barrymore.

[Theo Von]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

And she was up in my square, so it was very fun. She was, you know, I was like, yeah, felt good.

[Theo Von]

She's cute. With some great folks in there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Dude, that's exciting. That's like a huge show from growing up. Ron Funches is on there. Oh, who's the host?

[Dusty Slay]

Drew Barrymore. Oh, the host is Nate Burles.

[Theo Von]

Nate Burleson.

[Dusty Slay]

He's awesome. Yeah, he was great.

[Theo Von]

Nate's a great dude.

[Dusty Slay]

Very nice, very funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Super talented, man. I mean, what a, what a neat. I guess I'd be able to have two careers. Great football player and does a great job hosting.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know how, I don't know how long this goes, but he's really great.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah. He does a couple of different things. He does some different stuff. You know, I'm trying to think of any other blue collar jobs.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, you know, I, I, I, I, I wait. I was a pizza Delivery guy. For a long time, I worked at Papa John's. I mean, that feels blue collar. I mean, it feels like. Like. Like stoner blue collar.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That's what I did out of high school. I did deliver pizzas, and it was great. I used to, you know, I was getting high a lot, so it was like, you know, you're riding around your own hometown, you know where everything's at. There's no GPS back then, so you know where everything's at. He's just getting high, listening to the radio. It's a perfect job.

[Theo Von]

You ever whip a slice out of somebody's order or anything?

[Dusty Slay]

No, no. I was. I was very anti that, but I would, and I respect that.

[Theo Von]

I want to say that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I never mess with people's food. I can't do it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, me either. I've never done anything like that, that, you know.

[Dusty Slay]

But I had. I used to pick up my friends at the gas station. They would. They would meet me at the gas station. I'd pick them up, and we'd all smoke weed together while I delivered pizzas.

[Theo Von]

That's cool.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think they had anything going on, but I also think it was cool for them to just ride around while I was working.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So I'd pull up to people's houses with four or five dudes in the car, you know, Had a guy one time meet us outside, and we were still smoking, you know, and it's like a little awkward. You get your certificate, get extra polite. You're like, how are you today, sir? Thanks for choosing Papa John's.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude, there's nothing better than that, dude, the awkwardness, dude. I used to get high and fall asleep all the time. My friends didn't want me to go out with them because they're like, dude, you just hit all. You hit, like. And I would. I would hit a lot of the weed. And then I would literally fall asleep for the next four hours.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And they just pick me up, and they'd still have to drop me off at the end of the night. I would just lay in the back of the car, whatever. And I think I was just growing at the time. Whatever your body's just dealing with or whatever. And one night we got so high, and they just started a Taco Bell in our town, right? And this was like the grand opening. So people had come. People came from 30 miles. One guy rode a horse there. People were coming however they could. Some people didn't even get out of their cars. They just drove by. They honked you know, people would drop off their spouses, just do whatever. They didn't know what was going on.

[Dusty Slay]

That's big, dad. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And I got out on my buddy's van and they'd all been inside. I. I'd fallen asleep. I wake up, I get open the door and my folks are right there. They had just pulled up. And I'm so high. And I'd never seen them when I was high before.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

And I'm just trying just to pretend like I'm not high, you know, like, great seeing you guys tonight, huh? And they're like, ah, that was not it, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

You're like, am I talking enough? Am I talking too much? Do I look at. Do I normally look this happy?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Good seeing you guys here tonight, huh?

[Theo Von]

This is so bad.

[Dusty Slay]

Big deal. Taco Bell.

[Theo Von]

Big deal. And then somebody did. I've told this before, somebody defecated in the meat and they had to shut it down. And that was a true thing that happened. That was horrible.

[Dusty Slay]

I bet that's happening all the time. Time. Not just Taco Bell.

[Theo Von]

I don't know. It happened in our town. And I'm not saying. And Taco Bell. I'm not. Nothing against you guys. I don't go there, but.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I'm not even trashing Taco Bell, but I'm like, you know, I don't trust people working these days. Yeah. Yeah. You ever go to a restaurant and see the people working there and go, I don't think so.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. I've walked in and be like, let me get a good look at it. Is there anybody in here who's not.

[Dusty Slay]

Does anybody look like they care in here? Yeah, I don't think so. I'm going to head on out.

[Theo Von]

Out. Yeah. Somebody's just making. And there's even like a guy who's like. He's just doing tick tocks of him peeing in people's food or whatever. You're like, that's insane.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah. There was like. There was a. You know, it was a bit of a Taco Bell thing going on for a while where people. Yeah, tell me it wasn't Taco Bell, but they were working there. And these people would take the hard shells and they would just lick. They would go down and lick all the hard shells and the stack back. And there was. That was tick tocks for them. And then there was a thing where people were going around opening ice cream in grocery stores and licking it and then putting the lid back on.

[Theo Von]

And that was. I think I had A black community thing, too.

[Dusty Slay]

It's just like. But if you're not putting the plastic over your ice cream, I'm not buying it. Yeah, here we go. Look at this guy.

[Theo Von]

That's the white version of right there. Hold on. You knew he was doing that for you even. And that dude should be cross eyed. That the thing is, is these days, that guy, both of his eyes are functioning well.

[Dusty Slay]

We don't know if the other one looks good.

[Theo Von]

That's a good point.

[Dusty Slay]

The other. He may be looking straight ahead on the other one. That's why this one's so far over, dude.

[Theo Von]

We had a cross eyed dude. He'd always try to, like, do his hair different. He's like, like, dude, just do you like, no judgment. We love you. We love you, dog. But you could have the mohawk and people are still gonna be like, damn, that cross eye guy is doing why, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see the mohawk on the cross eyed guy?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. It's like. Yeah, it's like, God, he must not be doing well. It's like, you need a very organized cut, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. You want to be everywhere else. You want to be as presentable as possible.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. You need to cut that tithe right. Your haircut needs to look like he gives 10% a month to the Lord, brother.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, you want to look like you. Like something just happened to you.

[Theo Von]

Yes. Like all.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, I was just. I fell out of a business meeting. I lost a wheel on the rolling chair.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Just fell out of a business meeting. Hit my head really hard.

[Dusty Slay]

Fell out of my limousine on the way here.

[Theo Von]

This is horrible to say, but if I were cross that I would just always pretend like it had just happened. Like something just happened.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. Like, look at this eye.

[Theo Von]

Guys just sneezed really hard. Do I look okay? That's what I would do.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. You know, it's like if you got a zit or something, you go, oh, yeah, look at this thing. You know, you would always. I would always point it out like.

[Theo Von]

God, my stepdad is patting me on the back real hard. Do I look all right or something like that? Or, man, I just got bit by a dog. How do I look? And people like, God, you fucking. You know. Yeah, you'd have to do something like that. Sudden cross eye. This is what can cause sudden crossed eyes. That's a good question. Sudden crossed eyes or strabismus in adults or older children can be caused by serious neurological conditions and should be evaluated promptly by a healthcare provider. Provider. The most common Causes include stroke, brain tumor, head injury, thyroid, eye disease. Interesting.

[Dusty Slay]

I think I'd go with this. Cranial nerve. Palsies. That's what I'm trying to tell people. Yeah, yeah, it's my cranial nerve.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I hit a speed bump and my cranial nerves all acted up, you know, that's what I would say. Or you could always tell the old lie. Two of your friends both threw Frisbees to each other at the same time.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the uncorrected vision issues. Just go with that one. Yeah. Just needed glasses and just wouldn't get them. Wouldn't get them.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. My dad ain't no pussy, as he says it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I didn't need to read those books.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. It's kind of weird because I would have to get two of the same book and just hold them each right.

[Dusty Slay]

Here, which is very expensive. Two monitors on a computer.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Oh, man. That's ridiculous. Dude. How do you feel? Do you. At this point, you have to start to really feel like you've made it in comedy, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I feel good. I mean, honestly, I feel like I never thought I would make it this far. I mean, I was just messing around.

[Theo Von]

I hear you all the time now.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, good. Yeah, I mean, I was just, you know, I was drinking, and I was like, yeah, we'll do comedy. And it was a good, good way to meet women. And I was like, this is something to do on Friday. And then I won a contest in Charleston, and I was like, oh, maybe I can do something with this. And then I just started, you know, figuring out how to work the road, and I started, you know, traveling around and doing road gigs. And then, you know, I did some festivals and got on late night, and I was like, oh, this is working out. And it just feels good. Yeah. I mean, this is. Because I don't. This is what I want to do, you know, I don't. I'm not trying to do other things. This is what I like doing. Stand up is so fun. We just did that outdoor festival in Winnipeg, and outdoor comedy is typically not that fun to me, but this was great. It was a really fun show.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Yeah. That was awesome, dude. You saw the Trailer Park Boys there?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I did. I got to hang out with them a bit.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, they were funny.

[Dusty Slay]

They were funny. Julian, the guy that seems like. Like the real mean guy in the show, was the nicest.

[Theo Von]

With the big head. With the black hat on, you mean? Yeah, yeah, he's really, really interesting. Guy. Guy.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, what lineup they had there?

[Theo Von]

They had Ms. Pat. There was still smoke in the air when I got there. That was Ms. P's friends, I'm sure. What a lineup we had. Martin Short, Malaney. That's so cool.

[Dusty Slay]

That was.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that was fun, dude. And just to be up there and see what it was like. I wish I'd have gotten to stay a little bit longer. And I called out the mayor too.

[Dusty Slay]

Much, I think, you know, I didn't know who I. I heard you calling out a guy, but I didn't know who the mayor was.

[Theo Von]

I was like, Release the Epstein 5.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Gillingham. He just had the perfect name to call out. I have no idea who he is.

[Dusty Slay]

But I got there a day early, and I walked around a little bit. It was fun. I like the area.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I thought I went to a nice steak restaurant. Turned out I went to, like, a chain. The Keg is what it was called. I thought, this seems like a cool spot. And then my wife, who's Canadian, who brought you a mug, by the way. Tim Hortons mug. We had a Tim Hortons and Hermitage. Now.

[Theo Von]

Are you serious? They're coming over here?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

What's the tariff on those Tim bits, I wonder?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know. I've not been. But I do see the credit card when she spends money. She brought you a note there. I don't know if that's a love letter or not. I hope not, but.

[Theo Von]

Oh, it's sweet. Thank you, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

But. Yeah, we got a Tim Hortons and Hermitage. But she told me that the keg is kind of a chance. Kind of like the Outback of.

[Theo Von]

Oh.

[Dusty Slay]

Which I don't mind the Outback, but.

[Theo Von]

No, but it's. Tell her I said thank you. Yeah, that is. Well, dude, my freaking sister used to work at. What's the one with a birthday? When. Texas Roadhouse.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. Oh. I was just in a Texas roadhouse in Alabama. And they do. They do quite a birthday thing in there.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's big. And they would always get Benjamin. He was like the gay dude that worked there. And first of all, when you see a gay dude working at a text roadhouse, I support it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

But at first, I feel like there's some conflict interest if some guy's like, this is supposed to be Texas or whatever. And then some guy's just over there just like. Like, you know, he just. Just like, you know, he's just. He's bouncing his dangly earrings off his own shoulders, you know, and he's like they say it's your birthday. Like, because the problem is they're all supposed to sing the birthday song, but they start. They start monopolizing the use of the gay employee to do all of them. And that would happen a lot. I would notice at my sister's restaurant, Benjamin. Gay Benjamin or whatever they called him. I didn't call him that would get out there and he would have to do all the birthday songs. So he started feeling kind of taken advantage of. Of. But anyway, I don't know what we're talking about.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, you know, I mean, it's, you know, you work what you got. You know what I mean? You got to feel good. Like, they're like, it feels like nobody can take your job.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's a good point.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, you're like, oh, you. For long birthdays are like, they're coming in, they're going, hey, it's my wife's birthday today. Is Benjamin working?

[Theo Von]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

And Benjamin's not working. So they're like, we'll come back tomorrow. Oh, we'll come back when Benjamin's here for the birthday. Birthday.

[Theo Von]

And we'll come back. Not even on my wife's birthday. Yeah, because we want the big dog to do it.

[Dusty Slay]

Exactly.

[Theo Von]

It's like going to McDonald's and only grimace is there or whatever you're like, right, right.

[Dusty Slay]

Where's Ronald?

[Theo Von]

Do you remember when Ronald used to be at the birthday parties?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know if he was ever at my. My Burger King. Is it Burger King's? McDonald's.

[Theo Von]

McDonald's.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't remember what the. Who the crew? Was it the Burger King had the king.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. That guy is a creep, though. They just had some issue with McDonald's. What? Was there something I saw in the news?

[Dusty Slay]

News?

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, that's what it was right there. Yeah, there's some Laotians, huh?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. That's probably opelica.

[Theo Von]

It was some McDonald's news. So I'm trying to think if I had another blue collar job. Oh, we. I used to clean out wishing wells. I've talked about that before. We had a lot of wishing wells in our town. And they give kids like summer job. You could go clean them. And you have to get down there, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And. Oh, dude, I remember they had this like a fountain. No, like a wishing well.

[Dusty Slay]

Like you had to get down. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

She get how to get a ladder and get you, you know, get down there and get all this stuff out. But be money down there.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, and you got to Keep the money.

[Theo Von]

You got to keep a share of it. You didn't get to keep all of it, but they didn't know. But you didn't want to be dishonest. But anyway, the kid I partnered me with was this black kid, and he. I'd go down, and he was just supposed to keep people from making wishes or whatever while I was down there. But he. When I got down there, he was like, this is at a time in the world when I think a lot of black people didn't. They were scared of, like, magic and shit like that. Some of that was still feel, you know, because. Because of whatever had happened in the past, I think, you know, like, getting this box and, you know, I'm gonna make you a millionaire or whatever. Whatever. Yeah, Whatever trick had been played on in a lot of black communities. Whatever. So anyway, I'd be down there, but when I started just talking up to him, it sounded real scary, I guess, because of the echoes. And so he'd get all scared, right. And I'd have to go back up, like, dude, it's just me. Like, chill out, dude. Yeah, he's a nice kid, dude, this kid named Alton, and.

[Dusty Slay]

But he's like, I'm not trying to make a wish.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, but he'd just be like, what are you. What's happening to you? He gets so freaked out, and I'm like, it's just me. And I'm like, it's just me, you know? So he'd run off and get help, and I was like, we're. It was horrible there, dude. It was just a nightmare. But he was so freaked out. But anyway. Anyway, that was one job I had.

[Dusty Slay]

You're down there collecting wishes.

[Theo Von]

Well, you're getting the money, but there's also a lot of people throw trash down there, Crime equipment.

[Dusty Slay]

I like to think there's somebody there coming to make a wish and sees you come up with all the money and it ruins it for them.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I hope not. I hope that that wasn't witnessed. It wasn't a lot of money. It's a lot of bullshit down there.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

It's not. I mean, you might get $4 out of there.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, is.

[Theo Von]

You know, nobody's coming up the ladder with 75 bucks.

[Dusty Slay]

It's not the ye. Old wishing well. This is not the original.

[Theo Von]

Well, it's not. Yeah. And they're using dimes. And there was no, you know, there's no dollars.

[Dusty Slay]

You're not even trying to get a wish if you're using a dime.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, you're just trying to take a little weight out of your pockets.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. The wells like you're never trying to get this wish, are you?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. The well even is like boom.

[Dusty Slay]

You think it's a ghost. You're just getting booed and then out and runs off.

[Theo Von]

He can't handle it. But they should have had some sort of a sensor in there. If a dime goes in, the well just yells something at you.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh yeah, yeah. It's got to be enough weight to trigger it.

[Theo Von]

Right. But you know, at that. When I was a kid, you don't have, you know, we found a crime. We found some crime equipment in there. We found a sword, like a bloody sword. I remember a of. Lot, lot of to go containers. People just driving out there, throwing, having a picnic, throwing all their in there.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh yeah.

[Theo Von]

You know, people didn't, you know they. A lot of people I think thought it was like just recycling and like so just like that. But anyway, those are the days, man. What's happening in the news right now? What do we got, dude? N nationwide McDonald's boycott plan for August 1st. So that's just happened.

[Dusty Slay]

Whoa. So why are people boycotting? I guess you're finding this out right now.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. The plan boycott of McDonald's in August was announced by John Schwartz, founder of the People's Union usa. Why? The action has been spearheaded by progressive groups who have expressed a number of concerns over issues including company tax avoidance and workers rights, in addition to backlash over companies scaling back diversity hiring commitments.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I've been boycotting McDonald's for a long time. I think. I don't eat that there. But not, not a real boycott. I just don't eat there. I don't like it. I don't think it's good.

[Theo Von]

That's fair. You know what I think? Yeah. Is it good? That's a great question. I don't think it's good anymore.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think so. There's no. There's hardly any fast food that I think is good anyway. I lived off Hardee's growing up. I mean that's all we ate. There's a Hardee's right down the street from our trailer park. We had to pass it going to school. From school. I would eat breakfast, lunch, dinner. Dinner. We ate Hardee's non stop.

[Theo Von]

Hardy's used to be really good.

[Dusty Slay]

I like a Hardy's breakfast still. But not. I'm not into Hardee's lunch and dinner.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, well, I don't think these places should be doing dinner.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I mean, I yeah, lunch.

[Theo Von]

I'll buy it. I'll buy you. You guys are doing lunch, but you're doing dinner. Now I will say this. Hardee's is just a Carl's Jr. In disguise. A lot of people don't know that.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, Hardee's breakfast, though, is banging though. These biscuits. Yeah, I mean biscuits and gray. I used to get a loaded omelette biscuit. This is back when I was drinking and I was real, I was pretty fat. I would get a loaded omelette biscuit and then I would get biscuits and gravy. And then I would put the gravy on the loaded omelette biscuit.

[Theo Von]

No, it's unbelievable. And they weren't offering that.

[Dusty Slay]

They weren't offering at the time. I think later they did, but I think somebody found out about what I was doing, I was doing in the parking lot of a Lowe's, one of.

[Theo Von]

These ops, watching me eat. Yeah, that's how it is, dude. Well, I sometimes will get a Double hamburger from McDonald's and then it's not on the menu.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow. It's not on the menu. You just have to ask for it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I want a double hamburger. And they'll, you know, they'll make a sound or somebody. If it's a, you know, if it's a black lady, they'll get kind of pissed or whatever for a second. You can hear them get them pissed even when the mic's off.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, sometimes. Well, the drive thru is like that. You can hear that. You can hear. You can feel the tension.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, you can hear. Yeah, but that's it right there, that double hamburger.

[Dusty Slay]

See, to me that doesn't even look good. And this is the picture to make it look the best it's ever gonna. It ain't even come out looking that good.

[Theo Von]

Oh, this is its Olen Mills photo.

[Dusty Slay]

This is.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, this is its head shot. And it's. Yeah, you're right, I think. Bring up a picture of a hamburger from McDonald's. I would say from the 1970s. Let's see what it looked like there.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. Yeah, I bet they had some sesame see seeds on it back then.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's who they don't even put those on. Probably saves them a Millim scent.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, look at that. That's what I'm talking about. Extra bun in there. I guess that's probably a. A Whopper or something. I don't know what who has what, but. Yeah, look at that thing.

[Theo Von]

That thing was pretty good. But now the Big Mac used to be you don't even hear about the Big Mac anymore.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And, dude, my mom, we would take us. I've said this before, but we would go sometimes and get a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit in the morning from McDonald's. That was something nice that we got to do.

[Dusty Slay]

Those are good.

[Theo Von]

During, like, Thanksgiving week.

[Dusty Slay]

The hash brown was a full thing. I like that. I like a McDonald's McDonald's hash brown. I still like.

[Theo Von]

It was good.

[Dusty Slay]

Full thing.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Yeah, it was good, dude. And my mom, she would order the mcfish or whatever, but she would act like after we'd all ordered. I've said this before, but it still blows my mind. She'd be like, and I'll have. And she would make sure we were all kind of quiet so she could order it. Yeah, like. Like she was ordering for, like, a special fucking menu. Like, we're gonna eat in a private room or something. She'd be like, and I'll have the McFish.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. She wants to separate it. This is what the kids have had 100 now. I'm an adult, and I'll be eating this.

[Theo Von]

Guys, go get your. Go get your sodas. And she's like, and I'll have the McFish.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, you know, I do that. If I order coffee at, like, a Starbucks at the drive through, and I'm ordering for my wife, I'll go, my wife will have this, right? And then I'll have a black coffee. Coffee.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. My wife will have a wedding cake in a cup. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm sorry to do this to you.

[Theo Von]

Yes.

[Dusty Slay]

This is what she'll have.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. My wife needs to take a nap in an hour. So she's gonna have so much sugar so that she can do that. Dude. My ex girlfriend would put, like, eight sugars in her coffee.

[Dusty Slay]

Dude.

[Theo Von]

At, like, we go to meetings, and she put, like, eight sugars coffee. Like, that's bad.

[Dusty Slay]

In my wife's defense, she is just getting cream in her coffee. But still, I'm like, I want you to know I'm not doing that.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay.

[Theo Von]

And this may be a note for help. We don't know what's really going on.

[Dusty Slay]

We don't know what's in there. I didn't read it. She did seal it, which I found interesting.

[Theo Von]

Well, it's sweet overdo.

[Dusty Slay]

If it wasn't sealed, I could have read it in the car.

[Theo Von]

Oh, there was the jelly roll wrestling. I saw that thing. You see that?

[Dusty Slay]

I didn't see it.

[Theo Von]

This is jelly rolls wrestling. Now look at this jelly roll, dude. Look how Fitty is.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. Look at that clothesline. Oh, Jelly Roll and Logan Paul. Oh, Jelly Rolls, the new Undertaker.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Just when you thought wrestling couldn't be more realistic.

[Theo Von]

It's crazy, but I think Logan didn't like some of Jelly Roll songs, and that's how this happened.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, okay.

[Theo Von]

So. And I know Jelly Roll's doing a lot of stuff to lose weight, but this is. This is like one of those things you go down to South America to get done.

[Dusty Slay]

Who's this other guy? Is this other guy got any albums out or.

[Theo Von]

I don't know. It's Jake, Paul's brother.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Theo Von]

Okay, I think that's enough. And look, they hug at the. Or they're trying to kiss real quick here. But hold on, go back. There's a little bit on this video that is also. First of all, great job.

[Dusty Slay]

What a move by him. Logan Paul.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Oh, it's. Logan Paul is a good wrestler.

[Dusty Slay]

That's amazing.

[Theo Von]

He is what it takes for the sport. You know, he does that thing. Have you seen that? That down syndrome guy that hits those two beers together and then gets in the glass?

[Dusty Slay]

I only know Stone Cold to smash the. That's all I know.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I kind of tapped out a while ago on wrestling, but.

[Theo Von]

But go back to the beginning of the video, please. You'll see Jelly on the table. When they put him on the table, watch. He kind of. This is like me, like, say if I go. If I'm at a girl's place and like, she's like, I'm going to go to the restroom or something, I'll try to make myself look cool. I get in the right position. Watch him kind of scoot over.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

He kind of just moves into the right spot so that it works out. Dude. That was pretty cool. Yeah, but that's wrestling, dude. That was big in our town, dude. One of our neighbors dated a Hulk Hogan impersonator, actually.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh.

[Theo Von]

And that was pretty cr. That was pretty cool. We'd always get excited. He'd come in the yard and rip his shirt off.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. You know, Jelly Roll's a real Nashville guy. My friend used to work at Hooters and she would say that Jelly Roll used to come in back in the day as a. He's always been a rapper in town, so I think that's cool. Yeah, I met Jelly Roll a few times. Nice guy.

[Theo Von]

Oh, the best.

[Dusty Slay]

Jelly Roll sang to my mom outside of Zany's on the. On the sidewalk one time.

[Theo Von]

Really?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. I was like, that's what I'm talking about.

[Theo Von]

Oh, he's just so heartfelt, man. He's just a human hug and know. And is his dieting. How much is Jelly Roll lost? It's got to be £150.

[Dusty Slay]

It's got to be a lot. I've not seen him like that. He looked very thin. You would think you would want a heavier jelly roll to be in the WWE. Yeah, £200, it says in a year. Almost 200 in a year.

[Theo Von]

Believable. And his energy, dude. I saw him a couple weeks ago just after Shane Gillis had done his show with the sps. Will you stop in and say what's the up on? He was like out, just great energy saying, you know, just like his energy level, everything. Yeah, I remember seeing him a couple years ago and I was like, man, it just seemed like he was in unsafe territory health wise. I mean, just visually, you know. Yeah, you don't know, but that's pretty amazing, dude. Yeah, we're gonna go to Hulk Hogan's funeral this week.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I'm bummed about that. I always wanted to meet Hulk Hogan. I was always a fan. As a kid, I got a little Hulk Hogan alarm clock at home. I mean, I don't use it still, but I got one. But I had it as a kid. Someone sent it to me, but I had one as a kid, like, you know, wake up, eat your vitamins to, you know, say your prayers.

[Theo Von]

He was exceptional, man. Yeah, he was exceptional, dude. Yeah, dude. I mean, this dude would come over to date this lady in our neighborhood and he had it. He would do like. He would get out of his car and do the whole hulan thing. Like he was going, like when he was going up to his. To the door to knock on her door.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, doing the. Doing the.

[Theo Von]

And he'd play the song in his car and we'd all get out there and chill. Yeah, party, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's the clock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got one of those.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, man. It's kind of sad. I mean, I grew up. Yeah. It's like just like my buddy Eddie Joe, my buddy Larry Tisdale, William Teague. We used to. On our street, we loved Hulk Hogan, bro. We loved him, dude. We loved all of wwe, wwf, nwa, all those guys eyes.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. We used to go, I like, you know, in Opala, Columbus, Georgia is close. And that's where they had Georgia Championship Wrestling and wcw. So we used to go there, watch Ric Flair and Sting back in the day.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Steiner Brothers.

[Theo Von]

Steiner Brothers. Dude, these guys Bushwhackers.

[Dusty Slay]

I got a bunch of pictures that we just took on our, you know, our camera of like the. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Steiner Brothers, the only Jewish mentally challenged people, I think, in the South.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

You know, they just didn't have that back then.

[Dusty Slay]

That's true.

[Theo Von]

But that, I mean, that just show you, like, Jewish people are just so, like. They'll always figure out a way, you know, they take their two mentally handicapped people, they put them into wrestling.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You know, and look at them. They're stacked.

[Theo Von]

While some cultures. We're putting our best people into wrestling.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah. We're giving up good guys for this.

[Theo Von]

Dude. And the crazy part was, though, that guy and the lady, they got in, like, a domestic dish dispute, and the cops would think it was just them practicing wrestling. And, like, that was the craziest thing if you dated, like, a Hogan impersonator or like a Jimmy Snook impersonator or whatever, because they'd be clotheslining some lady in the yard, and the cops are like, that's awesome. You know?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Run it back.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah. She's helping. She's a good wife. She's helping in practice, getting ready.

[Theo Von]

It was just different times.

[Dusty Slay]

We'll miss Elizabeth out here.

[Theo Von]

Are you worried about AI stealing your job at all? Do you think about that as comedian?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't think so, But I do think I'm in a good place to. Because AI can't even get the way that I look. Right. Maybe the way I look to other people, but it never looks like me. It can't get my jokes down. People try to get it to write an AI joke. It never makes any sense.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And then I feel like my delivery is my comedy. So I think people tell me all the time, I try to help them write jokes, and they go, well, that's funny if you. You say it right. So. And I'm. But I also think I'm in a good spot to make enough money to. Where I can just chill because I live a normal life. So I can just chill out if AI does steal my job. But there is. Apparently there is something where they're trying to get some kind of pass some legislation with AI where it's like, if someone is using your likeness for AI, then you can get royalties off of it. So maybe AI could do corporate gigs for me.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that'd be nice.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I wouldn't get hired for a lot of corporate gigs because I, like. Just Because I have more profanity in my setting. Your set's pretty clean.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Is your Set fully clean.

[Dusty Slay]

I wouldn't say it's. I like to say I'm relatively clean. Right. Where I go, I go. I don't want kids to come to my show. But, you know, you can watch with your aunt and not be embarrassed that you're watching with her. Yeah, I get, you know, I got. I got a few sex jokes and stuff like that, but nothing too graph. Nothing graphic at all. And nothing. And I like to talk about drugs.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

That's fair.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. That doesn't even look like you very much.

[Dusty Slay]

Right. I mean, it's like people could say, oh, there's a guy that looks like Dusty, but he really doesn't look like me.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Oh, Microsoft just dropped a study showing the 40 jobs most affected by AI and 40 that they can't touch. Let's look at through these phlebotomist. That's true. Getting blood out of somebody.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Nursing assistants.

[Dusty Slay]

I like that. Nursing assistant is listed higher here than like a nurse.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. So they saying hazardous materials waste reveral. What is that? Removal workers embalmer.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Tire repairs. Hell yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Prosthodontists, dude. People that make prosthetics. And we used. We had a place that made some prosthetics near us and they would throw all the bad ones over the fence. Dude. And they'd be in the woods back behind our house. We'd be humming thumbs at each other and oh yeah, we'd flip each other off with kneecaps and it was awesome.

[Dusty Slay]

My wife read this book. It was like by Klaus Schwab. Like, it was like called called the Great Reset. And it was like. It was like COVID 19 and the great Reset.

[Theo Von]

I've heard about that.

[Dusty Slay]

And it wasn't like some conspiracy book. It was a book he wrote and he had talked about in there that like, entertainment jobs are safe because we're always. People are always going to need entertainment.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, but what if we don't have any money to survive? Do you think people are going to spend it to like rent a film or something?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I mean, if there's no money, that will be tough.

[Theo Von]

Tough.

[Dusty Slay]

It'd be tough to make money off live performance, but I think we just make less money. Like you do it for cabbages or something, right?

[Theo Von]

Totally. I think you would still show up and have a tent or something and do it like that, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And sell like, you know, make it a nickel or dime, you know, whatever the thing is. I agree. And maybe that's what it would become. You're just traveling around with a cart and that's what you're doing.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Now working for drink tickets wouldn't be so bad. We're like, yes, please.

[Theo Von]

Dude, I always had a dream of working under a 10 tent, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I really like. Like a carnival.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. And it's peer to peer that way too. It's just. This is it. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

That would be. I mean, like, comedy would be so fun in a way that if you could. You just traveled to different towns and just do comedy under a tent and nobody like. Like the old days of comedy, nobody knows what you're going to be doing.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And you could just do the same act for 10 years.

[Theo Von]

It was all a surprise.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Okay. Here's some at risk jobs. Writers and authors, historians. That would be one. I would be kind of scared.

[Dusty Slay]

Writers and authors. That's at risk right now because no one's reading.

[Theo Von]

Right.

[Dusty Slay]

Including myself.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. It's different times. Statistical assistance, data scientists, web developers. Kind of things you would think of, sort of. Let me see if there's anything out there. Concierges, models.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, concierge, because you can just Google restaurants near me.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. But then you almost do want to be like what's really good, you know, you want. I feel like you to me, you want. But you're probably right.

[Dusty Slay]

Models, I feel like they'll be fine.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Models, dude, they need somebody to freaking do blow or whatever.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Who's gonna do that?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, now roofers. No, roofers are already doing drugs of their. That's for models.

[Dusty Slay]

I did drugs with roofers in Gulf Shores, Alabama one time. I met. I needed. I was like a late teenager and was looking for weed. I met these guys, real tan on the beach, jean shorts, and they gave me a little weed. And then they took me and my buddy back to their trailer and they had all this weed in the freezer. And the guy had a home. He had a bong. But the. The slide, the bowl slide was made out of a piece of two by four and it was carved out. So he had, you know, still a slide where you take it off to clear the chamber. And he packed it in and he goes. He was like, let me hold it, let me hold. And then he wanted to clear the chamber. And then we both coughed our heads off. And then we got so paranoid. It's fourth of July, fireworks are going off. We think it's gunshots. We're freaking out. This guy loves it. He loves that we're freaking out out. And that makes it even scarier. He's just laughing.

[Theo Von]

He starts playing electric guitar to your fears. Yeah, that's scary, dude. When you're scared and somebody's like, oh, you're really scared right now. Let me play this electric guitar for you.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah. And then it was fun. We got to leave, but it was, like, terrifying. And then you're finally. You never think you're gonna get out of there. And then you're in the car and you're like, ah. And we got some weed, dude.

[Theo Von]

Is there anything better? Then you trapped in some place. You're so fucking high. When you finally get out of there and you're like. And it could have just been anywhere. Could have been a conversation, could have been a car ride. Could have been anything.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And then you're finally out of there and you're like, oh, it's over now.

[Theo Von]

Free at last.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm free.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. God, that was fun. Yeah, I love that. What else we got? Oh. In two separate recent WNBA games have been plagued with a new problem. Unruly spectators throwing sex toys onto the court. Court. Oh, God. Indeed, officials had to pause two WNBA games this week because a person in the stands threw a sex toy on the court. The first incident happened on Wednesday in Atlanta, while the second happened on Friday in Chicago.

[Dusty Slay]

Sounds like they're trying to pump it up.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, they're trying to get you excited. Indiana Fever guard Sophie Cunningham shared on her social media her concerns about people throwing these NSFW items on WNBA courts with an ominous warning. You're going to hurt one of you. Us. And what are they throwing? Let me see. I'm guessing it's.

[Dusty Slay]

I saw a picture.

[Theo Von]

You did?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And then what is it? Okay, okay. We don't get to see it hit the court, though. Somebody, first of all, great accuracy. And that lady kicked it just into the stands, which seems crazy. Oh.

[Dusty Slay]

That doesn't even make sense.

[Theo Von]

That second one I thought would. I mean, that second one was. That was a great shot. Oh. 35 to 70 bucks. So somebody's, you know, that you're not just screwing around out there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, somebody's putting some money into it.

[Theo Von]

I mean, it is kind of wild, I guess, to. But first of all, I'd embrace it if I'm the wnba, Right. I would shoot those things out of a T shirt candidate during pride month or whatever.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean, if things get wild and people start tuning in, that's great. It's good money. You know, you don't want people to get hurt. And I Guess that's disrespectful. But it's like. Yeah, make it turn the negative around.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, let's put a positive spin on it. I mean, that lady was excited. You know what I'm saying? I'm not. And I don't know if that's AI. It could be AI Guy. It's allegedly a picture of a woman, but that's an attractive lady who is very fired up. And then maybe you make it like a. There's one minute during the game. It's almost like where they throw the fish on the ice.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. It's like this. There's like. If somebody hits three. Three pointers in a row, they hit a hat trick.

[Dusty Slay]

They throw a catfish on the ice.

[Theo Von]

Are they. They. You know, they throwing sex toys out there, bro.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Make it like a. You know, like a pom pom. You know how, like. Like in Mississippi, they have the bells? Isn't it like one, like Mississippi State has the bells, the cowbells.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

And then, like, you know, you have pom poms and you have different. You could have little vibrators. So, yeah, just a bunch of vibrations.

[Theo Von]

Welcome to the Hive. Call your place the Hive or whatever. Oh, yeah, we're buzzing tonight. And then you also have. Yeah. Like, if somebody hits three. Three pointers in a row, everybody throw a dildo out there, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You know, bounce a plastic kick off the floor or whatever.

[Dusty Slay]

And then you see people taking them home with them after the game. Me look like I bought a $20 ticket. I took home a $40 dildo. This a. I made money here.

[Theo Von]

Some kid has a collection in his room from, like, you know, I don't know. I mean, look, I think you have to embrace it. You don't get free advertising like this a lot. And Caitlyn Clark's out. She's been injured half of the season this year, almost, or not half, but a decent amount. So you need people to tune in. In. I don't know.

[Dusty Slay]

Hey, you got to get those viewers.

[Theo Von]

Tbd.

[Dusty Slay]

We're all trying to get views out here. We're doing what we got to do. If somebody starts throwing dildos on the stage at my show and it gets people into it, I say, let's do it.

[Theo Von]

Okay, you heard him, guys. You heard it.

[Dusty Slay]

Only if it gets people into it. If it's not driving sales, then we got to shut it down.

[Theo Von]

But, dude, you telling me a T shirt cannon full of five or six dealers, and they just popping them off? People are catching them in the stands That's. Yeah, there's a way to do it and there's a way not to do it. Guys, we're just helping. You think? But yeah. Yeah, I think the. The WNBA can embrace more like lesbian style stuff or tactics people call them.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You know, yeah. And. And we don't have to call him that. What else?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh.

[Theo Von]

Comedian Matt Rife buys home of couple who inspired the conjuring, becomes guardian of the haunted Annabelle doll. This is interesting.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I've seen this. This freaks me out. I feel like I'm your. I'm your friend at the top of the wishing well now. This is freaking me out.

[Theo Von]

I didn't know about this. Matt Rife is pivoting to. To the paranormal, at least when it comes to his new pad. The standup comedian has bought the former house of Ed and Lorraine Warren, the ghost hunters who inspired the couple played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Familia in the conjuring franchise. I've officially purchased Ed and Lorraine Warren's home and occult museum. Where is that?

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know, but I saw him talking about that this morning, and I like him, but I think this is scary.

[Theo Von]

It's interesting.

[Dusty Slay]

Freaks me out for him.

[Theo Von]

Ed and Lorraine Warren's famous house, which includes the occult museum and the artifacts featured in many other investigations, is located in Monroe, Connecticut. The museum, housed in the basement in a separate outbuilding at this location, contains many allegedly haunted and occult items collected by the Warren. The museum was closed to the public in 2019. As of recent years, the property is not open to the public. Due to zoning restrictions, visitors are strongly discouraged. Wow. How much did he pay for it? How much does something like that cost, I wonder?

[Dusty Slay]

You like that you. Are you into like, this kind of, like paranormal stuff like this?

[Theo Von]

I mean, I don't know if I would want to sleep around that or encourage another portal to hell to be open in my life. Life.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Theo Von]

I just think there's already a lot of dark arts going on out there, and I do not know if this is the other type of behaviors we need.

[Dusty Slay]

It feels like he's going. This is going pretty well. Let's try to mix it up a bit.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I mean, you're. And he also has a shirt on that says God's country, so maybe he's trying to get in there and refurbish some of what they're doing.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, maybe so.

[Theo Von]

Insane. Announcement. I've officially purchased Ed and Lorraine's home. I'm incredibly honored to have Taken over one of the most prominent properties in paranormal history.

[Dusty Slay]

The other guy shirt says rise above fear. I mean maybe they're. Yeah, they're trying to.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Try to turn it around. They could be the new Bieber and Carl Lentz.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I don't know what they did but.

[Theo Von]

Beaver and Carl lynch where they. They kind of joined up and just had a relationship. I think that part of it was based on their. Both of their religious.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh. Oh yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe.

[Theo Von]

So what would you buy if you could buy something like that or if you just like spent money on something wild?

[Dusty Slay]

I like land. If I could just buy a lot of land. That's what. Because land is so expensive now. But it's so, so valuable. I just love to buy a lot of land. I'd like to have, you know, a lot of woods and mountains and creeks and water.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Well we could just. Me and my kids could just get on the four wheeler and just ride around out there or just walk and explore. Get some animals. Go get some. I went to a museum and are not a museum. Like a eagle thing in outside of Gatlinburg where they have like a lot of eagles and falcons and owls.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, Birds.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I love that stuff. God, yeah, I'm all about it. I want to build a food forest, you know where everything in the forest is all fruit bearing, food bearing, you know, vines and trees and bushes.

[Theo Von]

And would it become like a pass through for starving people? Like what, what's the strategy kind of behind it or just to have it for yourself?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, just go. You know, me and my kids and family could. And my wife could just go eat fresh fruit and vegetables all the time. I mean maybe if you're starving. Yeah, you walk through there too. Get yourself some food.

[Theo Von]

Dude, that's awesome. I'd lied stop through there. If I was really hungry I would come by there. Yeah, that's nice. I would like to have a. A place like that. If I get a family and stuff, I'm gonna get me a little bit of land. Get me a dog or two. Yeah, maybe a cat. I don't know. Who knows. That's crazy. But I don't know. I'm not getting a cat but I will try to get something nice. But I love that dude. But would you if you could buy something like. Matt must really be into the paranormal. I'm guessing because this seems that's it's definitely unique. Unless they partnered with Matt. This is the thing you have to realize about advertising. They may have just partnered with Matt. Let's put this article out and let's rev. Let's make this museum really pop, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Who knows? Never. No, but I mean, that's how advertising is. Yeah. Do you. I'm trying to think of what I.

[Dusty Slay]

Would buy, maybe like a small castle. You ever see, like. I don't know, I think that'd be fun. Little. Have a little, you know, like a. Whatever they call the little. I don't know what you call them. Or on the sides of the castle or kind of has the round thing that goes up. Have a little tower up there. Have a little.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. What is that called? It looks like a rook in. In. In chess. Yeah. Put a little perplexity on it, though. Round part of the. Of castle tower.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Like, that's what I'm talking about. A drum tower.

[Theo Von]

The drum towers. Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

I'd love to have something like that.

[Theo Von]

God, that would be nice.

[Dusty Slay]

Little castle wall. So you have to go through a door, but inside is a little courtyard. And you could have. So you're protected, but you could still have a little village inside. Get a bunch of my friends to come live with their families.

[Theo Von]

God, it'd be fun. Yeah. I wouldn't mind being part of a commune or something one day. Day.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Or group living, where you just live off the land and you're kind of.

[Dusty Slay]

I'm into that, too. People get so negative about it, but I'm into that.

[Theo Von]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

[Dusty Slay]

I think that'd be great.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

You don't want to be like a cult, but close to it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Well, I think they only get negative about it. It often gets pinned, I feel like on white people, too. It's like.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I don't think if white people, if they're not being racist, they can support other people like themselves. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. I mean. And I just think it'd be fun to just have a little community where you're like, you know, you're all. You're like, one person does this. One person does this, and then you trade.

[Theo Von]

Like, I'm the shoemaker or whatever.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Like, I'll make you something.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You repair. You're repairing your shoes and your boots. And one person is really good at cooking, and one person's good at farming. One person's good at, you know, I don't know, working on cars or.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Raising a horse.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I'll do, like, the little methadone area if we need it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. And you might need it because people likely will come to the commune and need to need a little help, you know?

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, you got to have that area, too. Like, oh, I'll be. Meet you over there in the methadone tp.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. Yeah. And eventually, that's the. The most popular TP in the place. Now. Now the shoes aren't getting repaired.

[Theo Von]

That's the thing you start to worry about is how does this all break down? I'm trying to think. I just bought Dustin. I bought Dustin Poirier's gloves from his last fight. From his UFC fight.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I wanted the last one so bad, but somebody beat me on ebay or whatever. Whatever. But I would buy James J. Braddock something like a memorabilia of his. Him from Cinderella Man.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

I would buy some memorabilia of his.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

The Bulldog of Bergen, baby. That's who. I would buy something of his. I mean, that's just something like a specific thing I would get, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

But.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah. When I was just thinking in ref. Like, in the same world of a house, like, he's bought. So I was just like, that's why I said castle or. But yeah, I mean, if that. I would love just a lot of land. I think it just. Because you can just do so much. I got 10 acres that I've been doing all these things. I've been building little swales and put fruit trees and all these different things on it. I've been trying to cultivate it. I'm into ponds now. I want to build a. I want to build a pond at the top that kind of pumps water from the creek and comes down and runs all throughout.

[Theo Von]

Wow. Do you have access to a creek?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Wow.

[Dusty Slay]

I want to build a lot of water channels.

[Theo Von]

Do they allow how much water you can access and stuff?

[Dusty Slay]

I. I'm not looked into it because I don't live out there in McMinnville, so I don't know how much I can do right now, but I would. I don't want to steal it. I just want to borrow it and then channel it back to the creek.

[Theo Von]

I like that. Yeah, I love that. Or borrow it. Put a flavored syrup in it. Channel it back.

[Dusty Slay]

Perfect. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Imagine somebody's upstream, like, oh, this is nice. Water downstream, like, motherfucker, that's Sprite.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and you're like. You just out. You think, I'll get a nice drink from the creek? Creek. Yeah, yeah. Mountain Dew.

[Theo Von]

That's it.

[Dusty Slay]

They think you're making a pun because it's coming from a mountain and you're like, no, this is. This really is Mountain Dew.

[Theo Von]

Now if somebody's just peeing in the river, you're downstream of that. That's mountain don't.

[Dusty Slay]

That's right. That is right.

[Theo Von]

That's damn Mountain don't, dude. Oh. This part rife noted that he and Cassidy plan to open the house for overnight stays in museum tours. So you yourself can experience and learn all the haunted history surrounding this amazing, amazing place. I think that's cool, man. Matt's a creative guy. And oh, yeah, Elton Cassidy, he's paranormal guy. Hell yeah, him.

[Dusty Slay]

Wow.

[Theo Von]

All them ghosts, dude. Or whatever, dude, don't touch him, you.

[Dusty Slay]

Know, But I'm in the don't touch him camp. But, you know, everybody's got to do their own thing.

[Theo Von]

Well, look, I'm so. We. We've, you know, I don't know. I don't really want to walk with Satan.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Theo Von]

Saying.

[Dusty Slay]

So I'm not into it, but you know, people, you know, somebody's got to be.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. To each their own. Yeah. I'm glad it's not me, but I'm. Good luck to those guys. Yeah, that's what I say. Hot dog spill shuts down highway in Pennsylvania. Commuter's worst nightmare.

[Dusty Slay]

Little. Little hot dog pun in there.

[Theo Von]

Yep. W rst. Oh my God. Look at all those franks on that freeway.

[Dusty Slay]

It's like a WNBA game out here.

[Theo Von]

Dude. That's the kind of stuff we need.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, exactly. Get the news pumped up, dude.

[Theo Von]

Here's what they do. Now I have a great idea. In the middle. In the middle of the court at halftime, you can humma humm. A dilda, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Or H A D. Whatever they want to call them. You could chuck a dilda out there. If it lands in that middle area, the middle circle where they do the tip ball in the middle of the. Of the court. If it lands in there, Mayor, you get a free frank.

[Dusty Slay]

Free hot dog. Yeah, I love that. That's a good idea. You know what they could call, you know, Ring a wiener for a wiener or something like that.

[Theo Von]

Wiener Wiener Hot dog diner.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. You get a hot dog sponsor, you get some. Some dildo sponsors in there. You get it all working out.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Everybody's making a little extra money out here.

[Theo Von]

I like it. And you're feeding the fans, man. Man.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You telling me a lot of these ladies don't want that hot frank. Yeah, they do.

[Dusty Slay]

Look at these guys with the shovels, though. Imagine your. Your Day of shoveling hot dogs.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, lucky dude. Let me get a gander at these guys. All right. Shrewsberry Penny. Truckload of hot dogs spilled across a Pennsylvania interstate Friday after a crash that briefly clogged the highway in both directions. Crews were stuck with a job they did not relish. More play on words. Rolling up the scattered tube stakes for disposal.

[Dusty Slay]

Heavily traveled artery.

[Theo Von]

Oh, another one there.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Once those leave the truck and hit the road, that's all garbage and it's still pretty warm. Okay. So one guy was upset that they couldn't use them. A front end loader was used to scoop, which also, I'm going to say is what my dad referred to my stepmom as one months. So I'm not saying she got around. But a front end loader was used to scoop up the hot dogs and drop them into a dump truck. I can tell you personally, hot dogs are very slippery. The fire chief said. I did not know that.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay, you tell me. The fire chiefs never had a hot dog. Come on, dude.

[Theo Von]

Dude. That's their main source of sustenance. If you've ever been to any firehouse, there is always a. A crock pot going with a couple.

[Dusty Slay]

Hot dogs in it. I think he was just like, if this. If you're quoting me, I want you to know I've never touched a wiener before.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. A lot of those guys will keep it straight no matter whatever they got to do to get it. 4 people required medical attention, Dauerman said, for injuries that police said were not life threatening.

[Dusty Slay]

Okay. What happened happened to him?

[Theo Von]

God, this. Hopefully this ends up becoming a 30 for 30.

[Dusty Slay]

You know, you gotta know, tie it into the WNBA. It's a. It's a meanwhile.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Oh, Dusty sleigh man. Thanks for hanging out, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, thanks for having me. This is great.

[Theo Von]

I appreciate it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Congrats on the. On wet heat. Heat. It's out there now. People can go watch it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, it's on Netflix streaming. It's hot. It's a good special. It's not a time waster.

[Theo Von]

No, it's not. People love it and they get to know you too. I think you have your own kind of pentameter, your own sort of style. I mean, most comedians do, but I think you really feel it here, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you. I modeled this hat after this one I'm wearing right here. See, this is a Kodiak Wintergreen, so I can't really wear this hat, but that one on my head there, modeled after this one.

[Theo Von]

Oh, they wouldn't let you wear that one.

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I think that we were just worried about it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Keep it safe. And is this a hat that. Is this your merch?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

That's beautiful. What does it say on it?

[Dusty Slay]

It says all right. All right. You know, because I say all right and then my name.

[Theo Von]

I love it.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

To order me one of those. Yeah, go ahead and order me one of those hats so I can have one to wear sometime.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. There's a limited edition, that hat because the stripes cost more to put on.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

So it's limited edition.

[Theo Von]

Well, let's get it. We'll take one. I like it.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you.

[Theo Von]

Thank you for my coffee mug to Ms. Slay. And yeah, thanks for all the comedy, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, well, I appreciate you. This is great. Your podcast is great. I think you're the best podcast. You're the funniest guy on podcasts that exist. And this is great. I'm happy to be here.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's nice of you, dude. I appreciate it. I thought you, like, you know, I thought you really carried the load today, but I thought it was super easy for us to chat and hang out, you know, which I thought was really nice. Didn't feel like we were lifting any heavy lifts, you know?

[Dusty Slay]

No, I felt great. I had a good time here. I mean, I've watched you on podcast for a long time and the. I still think that there's a. There's a video of you that circulates through my tick tock sometimes of you doing comedy in a retirement home and you're doing jokes about your dad and it is in front of these really old people. It's. It's the funniest stand up. It's so good.

[Theo Von]

Well, thanks, bro. Thanks for the compliments. When your land, whenever that lane, when those fruit trees are ready, shit's gonna get. Could. Could get weird in the world. So you and I might be out there making tiktoks together and selling fruit.

[Dusty Slay]

I love it.

[Theo Von]

And if that's what happens, then I'm. I'm. I'll be happy to work right there side by side with you. And we got to get to Charleston into a show, dude.

[Dusty Slay]

We should. I mean, yeah, I mean, it's great. Charleston's great. I mean, it's changing all the time. It's growing, but it's still great.

[Theo Von]

We should put it together.

[Dusty Slay]

We should put it together. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Do that for later this year, next year. Dusty Slay. Thanks so much, dude. Are you touring somewhere this week or right now? You just letting the special rock.

[Dusty Slay]

I am. I am touring. Dusty Slay.com's got all my. All my dates, but I'll be. I'm starting in Huntsville, Alabama, and then I'm all, well, I'm doing the Comedy store on the 5th. I don't know when this comes out, but I'm. I'm in Huntsville, Alabama, on the weekend, Atlanta. And then I just. It just starts from there.

[Theo Von]

Okay, great, dude. Yeah. A lot of places you can see him. Dusty Slay.com for his tour dates and. Yeah, man. Thanks for the time, brother.

[Dusty Slay]

Thank you. Yep, Now I'm just floating on the.

[Theo Von]

Breeze And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone but when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of my life out I can feel it in my bones but it's gonna take a little.