This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von — Episode #619: Stan the Chauffeur (Oct 22, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this engaging and often hilarious episode, Theo Von sits down with Stan the Chauffeur, a larger-than-life driver based in Columbia, South Carolina, originally from the Bronx. The conversation weaves through Stan’s colorful past—from navigating family tumult in New York, to wild stories as a chauffeur in the South, lessons from failed relationships, harrowing brushes with danger, and profound wisdom on love, masculinity, and life on the road. Stan’s warmth, raw honesty, and unfiltered storytelling create an unforgettable ride.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Stan’s Origin Story: From Bronx Streets to Southern Chauffeur

• Background and Move South

  • Stan grew up in the Bronx, NY (169th St, Claremont Village projects) and relocated to Charlotte, NC after his first divorce, motivated by a desire to be closer to his daughter.
  • “In 97, I literally walked off the corner in the Bronx, got on the Greyhound bus, and went to Charlotte.” — Stan (03:01)
  • Early hustles and a memorable, awkward stint living with his ex-wife’s mother (who abruptly suggested he “contribute more than just rent”). Stan opted to move out the next day rather than engage in her “bonus plan.” (03:22-04:07)

• Becoming a Chauffeur

  • First driving job was offered on a highway by a stranger named Shane from Miami, who noticed Stan’s skills behind the wheel. Stan’s “Bronx mentality” initially made him suspicious.
  • “Every guy wants to look good driving a nice car, burning somebody else’s gas, and getting paid for it. And I really enjoy it. It is me now.” — Stan (05:33-06:35)

The Chauffeur’s Code & Tales From the Road

• Code of Ethics and Customer Service

  • Stan takes pride in always making guests the priority: anticipating their needs, practicing keen “ear hustling,” and ensuring safety, especially for female clients.
  • “Your job is to make sure your guests have a good night…You have to do a lot of ear hustling… If you hear the women say something like somebody has to go to the bathroom, you're supposed to hit them… you always have to try to stay a step ahead.” — Stan (07:02-07:53)
  • Stan places high importance on the safety of women, influenced by having seven sisters. (08:16)

• Passenger Antics: Stories of Vomit, Sex, Drugs, and Escapes

  • Wildest annoyances: drunks vomiting in vehicles, people trying to procure drugs, and amorous couples or wedding parties using the limo/Sprinter for more than transport. Stan has developed tactics to keep things classy and safe.
  • “But things that I detest are somebody that's too drunk, because you can't rationale with them, you can't reason with them.” — Stan (09:05)
  • “My man was pile driving... I started trying to push [the partition] back up. I didn’t want to see it." — Stan (10:50-11:58)
  • Stan avoids romantic or sexual advances from clients, setting clear boundaries. “Don't go for it… They're hitting on you because they're drunk.” — Stan (13:04-13:36)

Harrowing Encounters & Street Wisdom

• Facing Danger

  • Memories of a near-robbery: A client tried to rob Stan after being picked up from a bowling alley, but Stan’s nerves of steel (and driving recklessness) sent the would-be robber fleeing. (27:55-30:19)
  • “I turn the corner, he fell all over the car. I'm doing about 90 miles an hour… I'm hollering at him, we're both dying tonight. Yeah, let's die.” — Stan (29:06)

• Physical Confrontations: Stand Your Ground

  • Stan once fought a home contractor who scammed him, eventually using the man’s own knife in self-defense.
  • “A little while later, Mickey was popped eight times with his own knife…Below the waist is misdemeanor. Above the waist is felony.” — Stan (35:26-36:19)
  • “In a civilized society, there’s no such thing as a free kill… but he is alive”—Stan recalling the judge (36:05)

Love, Relationships, and Painful Lessons

• Stories of Love (and Burns)

  • Stan candidly recounts drama with his much younger, on-again, off-again girlfriend—a relationship both loving and tumultuous. The most intense event: She threw a pot of boiling fettuccine noodles on him during a drunken spat, sending him to the nation's biggest burn center.
  • “She hit me with a pot of fettuccini noodles…and I ended up in the doctor’s hospital in Augusta, Georgia, which is America’s largest burn center.” — Stan (37:13-37:32)
  • Despite scarred ear and skin, and repeated police urging for felony charges, he refused: “She was intoxicated and emotional. It's not like she did it. Had she not been intoxicated, it would have never happened.” (44:13-44:29)
  • Stan and Theo reflect on the irrational nature of love: “We love who we love. That's sometimes how... that's one of the really interesting things about love.” — Theo (45:43)

• Relationship Philosophy and Woes

  • Divorce, control, and the “strong Black man” dynamic: Stan attributes some challenges in relationships with African American women to generational issues around male leadership and absent fathers.
  • “Men are leaders. Allow me to lead. You hear a lot of Black women saying, 'I don’t need no man.' That filters down to the kids…that makes you raise a weak man.” — Stan (54:48-55:35)
  • Admits to relationship flaws, a flirtatious and social nature, and how aging influences intimacy and priorities. “I'm 60 now… there's changes going on in my body. I’m not as strong as I once was.” (63:39-64:16)
  • Stan’s ultimate wish reflects vulnerability and hope: “I want my woman…someone to make me happy for this last… what? I'm 61, yo. How much more time do I have?” (47:18-47:32)

Reflections, Advice, and Wisdom

• On Staying Away from the Streets

  • “The street: leave it alone. It's a lie. You want street credibility? It's a lie. You want to sell drugs? It's a lie. You'll end up in jail. You'll end up killing your own dreams.” — Stan (58:13)
  • Encourages education as the true “way out” and takes pride in his son Ricky’s scholarly achievements.

• Insights from Passengers

  • Reflects on potent marriage advice from an elderly couple about going “100/100%, not 50/50” in love. “That’s where people mess up…you have to do 100% all the time.” — Stan (70:14-70:28)
  • “Tell her ‘yes, dear’ twice as much as you say ‘no, dear.’” — Stan, quoting sage passenger advice (70:29)

• Advice to Young Men

  • Avoid the allure of the streets, embrace education, and be proud to be a “nerd.” Encourage others by sharing cautionary tales from his own youth. (58:13-59:56)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Surviving Advances:
  “One lady actually had me call my mother—three o'clock in the morning…I told her what happened. My mother was like, ‘stan, so why’d you run?’ I said, ‘Mommy, she has skills! If she could get on my finger and make my body wake up, imagine…’” — Stan (15:01-15:17)

• On Handling Drunk Passengers:
  “[When they’re too drunk] you can’t rationale with them, you can’t reason with them.” — Stan (09:05)

• On Physical Resilience:
  “My C4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 is fused—and my L5S1 is fused… I could do pain.” — Stan (48:03)

• On Chauffeuring Ethics:
  “It's not about you as a driver… your job is to make sure that your guests have a good night.” (07:02)

• On Drawing Boundaries:
  “I get out my bed for green. Now that’s what you can pay me. Green money…I don’t want no pink.” — Stan (77:50-78:19)

• On Love’s Mystery:
  “Love is love. I'm 60, she 25…I love the shit out this young lady…I don't know why, but I do.” — Stan (44:29)

• On Future Hope:
  “I want that ultimate queen, man. At least while I still got a little lead in the pencil.” — Stan (53:39-53:45)

Important Timestamps

• Stan’s family and Bronx origins: 02:46–05:10
• How Stan became a chauffeur: 05:25–06:35
• Chauffeur ethics & passenger stories: 07:02–11:58
• Wildest passenger advances & boundaries: 13:04–15:23
• Drug use in the old days and leaving it behind: 17:41–18:53
• Bronx neighborhood memories (“pool mobiles”): 19:07–22:49
• Dangerous rides—attempted robbery story: 27:47–30:19
• Contractor scam confrontation (“below the waist is misdemeanor…”): 32:00–36:19
• Pot of boiling noodles—love & injury: 37:13–47:02
• Reflections on relationships & masculinity: 54:08–55:35
• Relationship advice from passengers (100/100%): 69:24–70:28
• On failed relationships & aging: 63:39–64:16
• Advice to young men—avoid the streets: 58:13–59:56
• Stan’s wildest rides & “ladies of the night”: 76:10–78:49

Closing Thoughts

Theo and Stan’s conversation is a rollicking, deeply personal journey, delivered with authenticity, grit, and humor. Stan’s stories—full of wisdom, vulnerability, and laughter—remind us that a chauffeur’s real work happens not just behind the wheel, but in navigating all the wild detours of life, love, and being human.

If you’re ever in Columbia, SC and looking for an unforgettable ride, “The Stan Experience” comes highly recommended.

Contact

• For more of Stan’s poetry or to book him as a chauffeur: details shared by Theo at episode’s end.

[Please note: all promotional reads, ads, and sponsorships have been excluded.]