#652 - Matt McCusker

Summary

Podcast Summary: This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #652 – Matt McCusker (April 10, 2026)

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Overview

In this episode, Theo Von welcomes comedian and podcaster Matt McCusker (of Matt and Shane’s Secret Podcast) for a free-wheeling, often hilarious and occasionally philosophical conversation. The two reflect on everyday life, gardening, pest control, technology, social media, personal improvement, and the strangeness of modern society, mixing absurdity with insight in their signature comedic style.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Life Updates, Touring, and The Everyday Grind

Matt’s Comedy Tour & Geography:

• Matt discusses his current comedy tour and cities he's visiting, joking about crowd sizes and certain cities being a slog for ticket sales. (03:14–05:12)
• “Phoenix is haunting me. I don’t know what’s up with the city of Phoenix… Phoenix tradition. Just like historically, it’s been a slog.” – Matt McCusker (03:14)

Gardening Adventures:

• Matt shares his deepening interest in gardening: blackberries, raspberries, and the yearly struggle against the elements.
• He describes his tough-love approach to plants: “I’m a stern father. If you can’t pull your own, you die. I need producers.” (07:03)
• The personal satisfaction, failures (hailstorm that destroyed his blueberry bush), and small victories in home gardening. (05:47–07:27, 53:14–55:00)

Pest Control and Existential Realities

• The battle with cotton rats in his backyard, the grim details of rodent extermination, and a philosophical look at life, death, and the food chain.
  • “Gardening is crazy though, because you get like, you have little spider allies... They’re on my team fighting the bugs, the rats...” – Matt (09:33)
• Extermination tech, including hardcore poisons and the colorful eccentricities of exterminators.
• Discussion of “pocketbook technology” for men, moving into notions of masculinity and everyday problem-solving. (02:23–02:49)

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2. Culture, Technology, and Social Media

Dangers and Addictiveness of Social Media:

• Both discuss the addictive nature of social media, referencing lawsuits concerning mental health impacts, and noting how platforms were designed using slot-machine psychology to maximize user engagement. (25:11–26:30)
• “Apparently it’s set up like that, it’s purposely designed to be maximally addictive. And they did that on purpose.” – Matt (25:48)
• Reflections on the loss of daydreaming, boredom, and the old dopamine hits of simpler times. (26:33–28:20)
• “When was the last time that we’ve daydreamed?” – Theo (27:07)

Modern Loneliness and ‘Looksmaxing’:

• The trend of young men obsessing over physical appearance—‘bone smashing’, ‘mogging’, and ‘looksmaxing’—and the nihilism found in online communities promoting extreme self-modification. (43:33–46:54)
• “There’s a world of guys that are like, you know, looks maxing: your only hope is to become as attractive as possible... now they’re doing things like injecting peptides, bone hammering, micro-fractures…” – Matt (43:33)
• Commentary on plastic surgery, artificiality, and the “supernormal stimuli” effect in beauty culture. (48:15–49:58)

AI, Automation, and the Future of Work:

• They express skepticism about doomsday AI narratives, referencing Y2K and dot-com boom hysteria (35:02), but acknowledge AI and automation will transform the job landscape, especially for manual and driving work.
• “If it wipes out just like nine industries at once … There’s no point for [people] to do it. What do you do then?” – Matt (74:29)

Universal Basic Income, Billionaires, and Power Dynamics

• Playful yet serious questions about whether a world with UBI and tech-king overlords would be “chill,” and the psychological divide between ultra-wealthy and the rest of society. (75:38–79:49)
• “Could we trick billionaire types into thinking the real flex is to put millions of people on assistance and make a cool future?” – Matt (79:15)

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3. Weird America, Nostalgia & Societal Commentary

Nostalgia for Simpler Times:

• Reminiscing over pre-phone life, old internet websites (mullet.com, cameltoe.org, totalcreeper.com), and youthful imagination.
  • “I miss the imagination, bro... Like seeing a girl smile at you on a Friday at school or give you some sign, you're thinking all week.” – Theo (42:46)

Interactions with Social Institutions:

• Colorful stories about the post office, public transit, and how inefficiency and bureaucracy are a staple of public life compared to the risk of total privatization. (84:08–84:54)

Adult Aging, Surprises, and Feeling Your Age:

• Matt recounts his surprise 40th birthday party, feelings of being overwhelmed, and coming to terms with aging (“I want to look old as fast as possible. I’m trying to age max.” – Matt, 102:24).
• On living eulogies and community: “When you get living eulogies, dude, I think you’re doing a good job, man.” – Theo (103:57)

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4. History, Purpose, and the Human Experience

Matt’s History Podcast & Colonialism:

• Matt shares about his Patreon history series on the Spanish conquistadors, intertwining brutality, morality, and the subjectivity of right and wrong throughout history.
  • “Cortez wasn’t even supposed to do it… He just rolled up with 300, 400 guys… brutal battles… everyone was kind of against each other.” (85:58–88:36)
  • “They would just come at you 30 miles an hour with a steel sword; it was terrifying...” (89:39)

Philosophical Reflection:

• The meaning of purpose, personal agency versus being “blown about” by life, and the importance of crafting meaning through simple, local actions. (60:09–61:09, 100:25–101:39)
  • “You have to make your life mean something.” – Matt (60:39)
  • “Having a garden, doing things that build your own life up, they give you purpose, right?” – Theo (99:59)

Existential Risks and Global Threats:

• Discussion of the constant background noise of existential threats manufactured or perceived: from nuclear war, terrorism, to the endless news cycle designed to fill us with anxiety. (97:10–98:40)
  • “Think about a time there hasn’t been a giant looming existential threat overhead since literally the atom bomb…” – Matt (98:16)

Collective Anxiety and Agency:

• Both remark on the importance of filtering information, resisting collective outrage, and focusing on what one can control.

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “I’m a stern father. If you can’t pull your own, you die. I need producers.” – Matt, on gardening (07:03)
• “Are you part of a group with the gardening?” – Theo
  • “Lone wolf. Can't be dealing with just a run of the mill know-it-all.” – Matt (13:54)
• “When was the last time that we’ve daydreamed?” – Theo (27:07)
• “Apparently it’s set up like that, it’s purposely designed to be maximally addictive. And they did that on purpose.” – Matt, on social media design (25:48)
• “If you eat too many [Good Ranchers nuggets]… you eat the whole bag and you’re like, I say it to pound beef tallow.” – Theo (78:26–78:39)
• “Could we trick billionaire types into thinking the real flex is to put millions of people on assistance and make a cool future?” – Matt (79:15)
• “Having a garden, doing things that build your own life up, they give you purpose, right?” – Theo (99:59)
• “I want to look like old as fuck as fast as possible. It’s my goal right now. Me, I’m trying to age max.” – Matt (102:24)
• “When you get living eulogies, dude, I think you’re doing a good job.” – Theo (103:57)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Topic/Highlight | |------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 03:14–05:12 | Matt’s comedy tour experiences | | 05:47–07:27 | Gardening, tough love for plants | | 09:33 | Pest control, “spider allies” and rat extermination | | 13:54 | On joining gardening groups (or not) | | 25:11–26:30 | Social media addiction, lawsuits | | 27:07 | “When was the last time that we’ve daydreamed?” | | 43:33–46:54 | Looksmaxing, bone smashing, online self-modification | | 53:14–55:00 | Root vegetables, radishes, and the joy of a garden | | 60:09–61:09 | Crafting meaning, personal agency | | 85:58–88:36 | Conquistador history, brutality, alliances | | 97:10–98:40 | Constant existential threats, media anxiety | | 99:59 | The purpose of small acts—gardening and family | | 102:24 | Matt’s “age maxing” goal | | 103:57 | Living eulogies and appreciation |

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Tone and Closing

The conversation moves fluidly between quick-witted absurdity, comedic banter, and surprisingly thoughtful takes on the struggles and strangeness of the modern world. Listeners get a candid glimpse of the joys and worries that preoccupy two comedians as fathers, friends, and observers of a society in flux.

Final Note: A key message is the importance of focusing on what’s real and grounding: cultivating a garden, spending time with family, and finding purpose in simple things—while not letting the firehose of information and anxiety dictate your life.

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Transcript

[Theo Von]

K Pop Demon Hunters, Saja Boy's Breakfast

[Matt McCusker]

Meal and Hunt Trick's meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans.

[Theo Von]

What do you say to that, Rumi?

[Matt McCusker]

It's not a battle.

[Theo Von]

So glad the Saja boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share. No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor.

[Matt McCusker]

No, really, stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side.

[Theo Von]

Ba da ba ba ba.

[Matt McCusker]

And participate in McDonald's while supplies last.

[Theo Von]

It's springtime around here. You know that because you can see the bees. The bees are out there. Go see them. They're just be just being bees. And we're running a spring sale. That's what we're doing. In honor of spring, we're being on sale. We've got a mix of tees, hoodies and hats, all 20% off right now. And there's a limited quantity left on the year of the Rat hoodies.

[Matt McCusker]

Here's one right here.

[Theo Von]

I wear it. I love it. My favorite type of hoodie. That's the only time, only type we're selling anymore is my favorite type. All that and more [e-mail] I hope everyone is having a good day and thank you for your support. Today's guest is a stand up comedian. He's one half of the Matt and Shane's secret podcast. He's a shaman. He is. He's on a higher frequency. He operates in a special realm and he's on the road soon. So if you get a chance, I recommend that you go see him. It's just if you even get to spend time with this guy, it's a smart choice. I'm thankful to be able to do that. Today my guest is Mr. Matt McCusker.

[Matt McCusker]

Shine on me and I will find a song I've been sing. There we go. Beautiful.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

All this crap out of my pockets.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude, that's one thing, bro. How much shit do guys start? And I'm a guy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And it's like the shit we start to have in our pockets. Look at that. You have glass around the neck. The phone.

[Matt McCusker]

Phone, wallet, keys.

[Theo Von]

I need an upper. I need a downer. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

The little nicotine.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. You got BC powders you fog in.

[Matt McCusker]

We need pocketbooks, dude. Some guys have already adopted pocketbook technology. We need. We need all this commitment, guys. The purse, whatever. Pocketbook.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yep, yep.

[Theo Von]

That fanny pack that people were around

[Matt McCusker]

their Heart or whatever. Yeah, their satchel.

[Theo Von]

That's a weird one, though. Like the fanny pack on the heart. That guy's always.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

What's going on here?

[Matt McCusker]

I think. I think you have to, like. If you're going to have one, you have to have a gun in there just so you can maintain. You know what I mean?

[Theo Von]

But one of those little guns or whatever.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I think a tiny, like, James bond, like a little.38 little snub.

[Theo Von]

That'd be nice, man. Good to see you, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Bro, pleasure to see you, man.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, congrats on everything, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

Thank you, man.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. You guys, podcast is crushing it. And you're on tour right now, too.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Yep, yep. Yeah, I got to. Where am I going? I'm going to. I know, I know. I have Phoenix. Phoenix is haunting me. I don't know what's up with the city of Phoenix. I got to do the celebrity theater, so it's like the little one in the round. Yeah. I hope that's full. Otherwise we're gonna have, like, a semicircle. It's gonna be. That'd be pretty bad if I couldn't do the. If I could only do, like, 270 degrees just a. You. So, yeah, I get the Phoenix and.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, go support that one, guys in Phoenix.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, man. And everywhere else, but. Yeah, man, I've been good, man. Just chilling.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Pull up Matt's days just so we have them, please.

[Matt McCusker]

Yes. Thank you.

[Theo Von]

Oh, There we go.

[Matt McCusker]

St. Paul. There we go. St. Paul.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Where are you at in this thing?

[Matt McCusker]

I'm towards the end. I'm at the. I'm at the bottom half or the bottom, like, quarter here.

[Theo Von]

Okay. St. Paul. Indianapolis.

[Matt McCusker]

Yep. I got Des Moines. Yeah, yeah. St. Paul. Des Moines. Phoenix, Tucson, Toronto and Chicago.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, you got Des Moines. You got Des Moines. Obviously a black guy.

[Matt McCusker]

Desmond. And they.

[Theo Von]

But you don't. But there's not a lot of them there because you expect to see them when.

[Matt McCusker]

Des Moines. I think he invented jelly. One guy did. Peanut butter jelly.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Desmo, please. Tucson, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

Tucson's huge.

[Theo Von]

Great place to get some coral. What's that blue core? That rock? It's. A lot of older women wear the silver and the.

[Matt McCusker]

What?

[Theo Von]

Coral.

[Matt McCusker]

Is it good for, like, a magnetic bracelet?

[Theo Von]

You're talking about something people. A lot of people. A lot of copper and opal or whatever.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay.

[Theo Von]

What's a blue stone? Yeah, it's a lot of that out there. A lot of people missing arms.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, okay. It's like the mystical end of Arizona. There's like the yes guys with their pants up to here. Arizonans. And there's like, yeah, I got you.

[Theo Von]

It's shaman country. Did you think those would be your vibes over there?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I've never been to Tucson yet. Phoenix, I'm telling you, I like Phoenix. It's just. I don't know why. It's always, it's always. There's always cities. I have that. Tickets go great. There's other cities where they're like a slog.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Phoenix tradition. Just like historically it's been a slog. It's okay. I just accept it. It is what it is. That's just Phoenix. That's my Phoenix experience. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

So dang, dude. Yeah. I think for something like that, for me you're like Minneapolis, Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico tickets in Puerto Rico. I noticed.

[Matt McCusker]

Really?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I'm like pr.

[Matt McCusker]

That kind of surprises me. Honestly. I feel like you would rock the PR ticket market.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. That's kind of me too, dude.

[Theo Von]

The boletas. Yeah. Dude. Great to see you, bro. What's cracking? What's new right now in your world, man?

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, I, I. The only thing I can even. It's boring, but it's just gardening. I've been garden non stop. I got ahead of it this year. Last year I planted when it was already too hot. Everything got scorched. So. Yeah, I got some blackberries and raspberries I'm waiting on, so.

[Theo Von]

Really?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I've been a big. I've been. I've been big on that, man. Trying to grow stuff. I got garlic coming, so.

[Theo Von]

So blackberries and garlic. And this is all in your own yard.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, shoot. That's my garden. Yeah, that's. It's been revamped. The hailstorm destroyed my blueberry bushes. Yeah, it's in my life like a little backyard.

[Theo Von]

But you're making the most out of it now. Can you feed your family here, Matt?

[Matt McCusker]

No, dude. It's so sad. So that's a blueberry bush. It got destroyed in the hailst. That one's coming back to life as well.

[Theo Von]

And is there any reward from the like. Doesn't the government subsidize this kind of shit or whatever?

[Matt McCusker]

I should get, I should get some sort of subsidy. But there we had a blueberry bush and we had. It produced one. Literally one blueberry the first time I did it. And me and my whole family cut it into four. We each had a fourth of blueberry. We would be dead if I actually had a farm. We would all be dead. I've gotten like Five radishes, one blueberry, and raspberries were flowing, man. And then just the hailstorm wiped. Just completely wiped me out, so.

[Theo Von]

And was there stuff you could have done in advance to prepare for that? Because, I mean. And do the. Does it feel like the plants look to you for, like, the leadership, or you don't feel that at all? Because I've never had a garden yet.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, so here's the thing. You can be like that. There's a lot of doting mother type gardeners. I'm a stern father. If you can't pull your own, you die. I need. I need producers. I need people who are going to adapt to the elements. Like, I'm not going to baby any of these plants.

[Theo Von]

Like Stalin.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, completely. It's. It's a completely totalitarian system. My wife's like, we'll bring that one in. I'm like, if it can't handle the sun, it's dead. Yeah, I'll get someone who can handle the sun. I'm not out here babying these plants, bro. I got. I have kids. I'm not worried about a plan.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I gotta sit here, cry about a beanstalk. It's dead. Pull it out. Yeah, throw it in the compost. Next. So I run a ruthless guard. It's completely ruthless. I had a rat that just died.

[Theo Von]

Did you? Him, dude, he was.

[Matt McCusker]

That's the thing with gardening. It does kind of connect you to, like, a real life or death thing, because it's like, you know, I don't want to kill. I don't want to kill an animal. But then it starts eating, like, you know, starts just munching all your leafy greens, and you're like, I'm not about to grow food for a rat. That's bullshit. So then, like, I had a guy come out, and the guy gave it was like an exterminator. And this stuff, he gave it it. He's like, dude, this stuff's the real deal. Don't let your dogs get it. Because my dog had eaten rat poison once. No problem survived. And I was like, yeah, he'll be all right. He's like, no, this is like fiberglass in it. So when the rat eats the poison, the fiberglass cuts his lungs, and he starts, like, drowning in his own blood.

[Theo Von]

Who created this? Is Netanya?

[Matt McCusker]

I think so.

[Theo Von]

That's the same stuff they were putting in the Palestinians. Food that they were giving them, which is heartbreaking, but.

[Matt McCusker]

That's a fair point. But the.

[Theo Von]

And why are they trying to kill him so hard?

[Matt McCusker]

Like, dude, I, well, they, they just like that's their job, man. They're, they're like. Because if they, if they half step it and you still have rats, you're going to call them all pissed off. So like the poison messes them up, but the, the like fiberglass or whatever really makes sure they die no matter what. And also, rats won't die around the colony. They'll like a dog. They'll run off and find solitude and die. And we got rid of this chair recently. So, you know, it was like hogging up a space in our backyard. And we, we lifted it up. There was a dead rat. One of the dead rats back there had been laying there so long, I picked it up. Dude, its face was gone. It like really like kind of me up like it was yesterday. I picked it up. I had like, you know, two sticks put together and I was like, this thing's been sitting for a while. Let me peep its face, dude. Just a void where its face was like things ate its face. Yeah, just a hole for where it's face was. And I was like, damn, that was me up.

[Theo Von]

You're living in a damn saw episode over there.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, gardening is crazy.

[Theo Von]

Where are you gardening at?

[Matt McCusker]

Just my backyard.

[Theo Von]

Transylvania. Dude, it just sounds insane, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

Gardening is crazy though, because you get like, you have little spider allies. I see my spider, my orb weavers in my garden. I kind of. They're like, they're on my team fighting the bugs, the rats. I'm trying to fight the rats. But we got them, I think under, under control.

[Theo Von]

How did you know that you were having issues with, with the rats?

[Matt McCusker]

I'd see them right in my face, just munching my. I'd like open the door and they'd just be munching my.

[Theo Von]

Oh yeah, we ball.

[Matt McCusker]

See, I'd be like, what the. They are kind of cute though. They're called cotton rats. So they're these big guys and they have these like, they have these really furry coats. I, I kind of like them. But then they started in my grill and I was like, we're done. Yeah, they, they. Honestly, I would have tolerated them, but they, they completely over push, overstep their boundaries. There we go. That dude. There he is. That's the exact guy. Imagine one of those guys. No face hole for a face.

[Theo Von]

Zoom in on him.

[Matt McCusker]

Look at that little guy. A little fat, little hairy guy. Look like gerbils almost.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's that little floor bear.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, he's. He's munching on somebody's Herbs right now,

[Theo Von]

one of God's little Mac nuggets. Them little things.

[Matt McCusker]

They're thick as hell. They had a burrow underneath my little porch in the back of my garden. And also, people were like, oh, there's dump, cayenne peppers. All this, dude, I dumped, like, I got like, four pounds of red pepper flakes just lace the whole garden, dude. That guy was just sitting in a bed of it. I'm like, man, get out of here. This. Give me the fiberglass poison.

[Theo Von]

There's always all those tricks, dude. Like if you. If you'll siphon some piss out of a senior citizen or something, put it out there. Yeah. Rub a baby's ass on the fucking rails or whatever. Nobody will fall down it. Yeah. Nobody will get hurt.

[Matt McCusker]

It doesn't work. It doesn't work. The exterminators come. Not even the Home Depot. And I don't want to, you know, mess up Home Depot.

[Theo Von]

No, but let's talk about them, dude, that.

[Matt McCusker]

None of that stuff works. You need a professional exterminator, and they have, like. Like Dr. Evil Weapons. That's the only thing that gets them.

[Theo Von]

Well, did you get one of those guys who comes and he's tatted and he's like. Has all his, like, AA years of recovery fucking medallions around his neck and he's.

[Matt McCusker]

Ideally, that's what you want.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

But this. This guy is pretty chill. He's pretty clean. But he. You could tell he's been around. He's been around the stuff for a while. The other guy I know got bit by a rattlesnake. Literally. Got bit. He drove himself to the hospital.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that's boss, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

It's crazy. I. I got nothing but love for exterminators. Do you ever have, like, a horrible infestation of any kind?

[Theo Von]

Just these hoes?

[Matt McCusker]

True.

[Theo Von]

Basically. Sorry, I was just making a meme.

[Matt McCusker]

But basically, just needs a strong hand for that.

[Theo Von]

But, no, I never had anything like that. You know, actually, you know what? Bring up some of these exterminators first. I want to see some of these.

[Matt McCusker]

Let's act. Good call.

[Theo Von]

Let's get a gander at some of these. America's top 10 most extreme exterminators, including women.

[Matt McCusker]

There we go.

[Theo Von]

A lot of these will kill anything they go around.

[Matt McCusker]

There we go. Look at that guy. Look at extreme.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, look at that guy right there. Sandblasting.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, they're giving. This is. I need to see the real guys. This is the. It's like the stock footage.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's all teemo. Shit, man.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, no, that's. None of the exterminators look like these guys. These are male models.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I mean, there's Billy the exterminator. There's that guy, and he passed away.

[Matt McCusker]

Did he really?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it. Dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Short shelf life on those guys. I mean, you're. You're literally dealing in poison.

[Theo Von]

You're out there just fucking spraying glyphosate on everything. You're out there fucking.

[Matt McCusker]

Those bug bombs, they. What they do is they inhibit reproductive systems. So, like. Well, like, I had fleas and I had to do a bug bomb. The Home Depot was bullshit. So I got the real guy who came out. And when I did the first one, I lit it all like. You know, you pull the thing and it's supposed to give you 10 seconds. It just exploded in my face. So I just got drenched in this and had to run into the fourth

[Theo Von]

of July place because they'll put those things in together. Dude. Dude, they.

[Matt McCusker]

They just. You can't reproduce, so it just, like, scorches bug genitals and then they just. Just sit. Have to watch, like, the apocalypse. There's. There's a colony of them.

[Theo Von]

Is this Palantir online? Where are you? I just can't believe you're involved in all this, dude. And your children are what, sl. Sleeping inside?

[Matt McCusker]

Well, I came in from, like, talking to the exterminator and I'm like, bro, this rat poison is crazy. I forgot my two daughters were there. And I'm like, yeah, there's little mice and they, like, watch it play. And they're always like, oh, the mouse is back. I'm like, what it does is it cuts their lungs and they drown in their own blood. My wife's like, chill, dude. I'm like, my bad, my bad.

[Theo Von]

Are you part of a group with the gardening or how.

[Matt McCusker]

Lone wolf. I have thought about joining a group, but I. I'm like, when you ever do something like that? It's. It's just. It's too much human interaction for me. I just. I like to, like, figure it out by myself.

[Theo Von]

Maybe.

[Matt McCusker]

Maybe one mentor would be good. A whole group. There's bound to be someone I don't like. Yeah, I'm gonna be battling. I'm like, no, thank you.

[Theo Von]

Some guy trying to get you to buy his soil or some other thing,

[Matt McCusker]

Something like that, or just. Just a. Just a run of the mill, know it all. Yeah, any. Any adult. Any group of just adults together, there's going to be at least one, if not two, like, unbearable guys. Usually like, you ever do like adult education, there's always one person who's going to raise their hand, talk for 10 minutes every time. It's just like, bro, shut up, man.

[Theo Von]

Or when you go to like that dui course some guy who's like, you know, like he's never gonna drink and drive again, dude, first of all, one of God's rules is nobody gets just one dwi.

[Matt McCusker]

I know, I know. It's everyone, everyone needs to get one. My, my friend, it was funny, it was a couple years ago, but he, he had one. I think he was the last one to. Brother had one and his dad had one and they're all at like family Christmas party with extended family and he like, they're all drinking beer and he like cheers them like, hey, the three, we all have duis guys. And I think his dad was trying to keep his under wraps. He was like, shut the up. You did a DUI's cheers. And you know, I thought he would go over better.

[Theo Von]

But dude, there's nothing sadder than a dad getting a DUI on his way home from work and he's been drinking or whatever.

[Matt McCusker]

They get them, man. I know a lot of guys who just quietly, you get them and you're like, all right, all right, you got me, you got me, dude. They drive dry. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, my stepdad got one. My dad would be drunk, he would park his car just like wherever it kind of stopped, like by our gate or whatever. So my mom would fucking be out there yelling at this 77 year old man who's just fucking unconscious in a white fucking LTD that he was not even at a certain point, dude, he wasn't strong enough to get the door back open once he got in. So sometimes he'd get in there and he'd get home from work and we didn't know we'd be inside of these fucking slums. Leave him out there all night. Yeah, crazy, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, dude, that's the thing. They were allowed to drink and drive. Like drinking and driving was like, like, my dad is almost 70. And like when they were in high school, cops would pull. You'd be hammered driving a car. And they'd be like, come on man, get the hell. Take your beer and be like, get out of here. Yeah, you didn't get in trouble for it. So all of a sudden now it's criminalized. Fucking woke. Bullshit points. It's pretty bad. It's very dangerous. There we go.

[Theo Von]

Who's this guy?

[Matt McCusker]

That's exterminator.

[Theo Von]

And if he has a church behind him. He means it. Who is he? It's AI. Well, if. I think if you just go to YouTube, say you put in like Tucson Extreme Exterminator. If you go to some of those places, look for some. Try to make it by city or whatever you have to do to see if you can come up with some.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, let's get some organic.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it'd be nice if by the end we had some.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn. Exterminators are really. They keep. We keep themselves hidden.

[Theo Von]

Well, I think first of all, I wonder if that's a dying game.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't. I don't think so, man. Because it's like, is it running the family?

[Theo Von]

Because a lot of times you'd be like, you know, my dad was a fireman. I'm a fireman. And then the third kid is like, I'm not if I'm just fat or whatever.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, true. Yeah. No, that's.

[Theo Von]

But there's always that lineage, you know, like, I love hot dogs. My dad loved hot dogs.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

My son loves hot dogs.

[Matt McCusker]

And then you have like breaks. Gay son, like, who really likes hot dogs. Yeah, the dude. I think it's just like one of the. It's just one of those gigs. I think it's just like a. A get out of jail gig. And you know, you do it especially if you like do it for yourself. That's what a lot of them. It's just like, it's a business you can get into. It's like cleaning. You can run a. You can start a cleaning company pretty easily. It's very low overhead.

[Theo Von]

A lot of strippers do it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that's actually a great. Yeah, it's a great move.

[Theo Von]

And it's. It's their gate. It's like a re entry program into. I've hung out with a lot of strippers and me even made out in their cars sometimes.

[Matt McCusker]

That's all.

[Theo Von]

And you'll have like a mop handle coming across your shoulder. And you know, that's where, you know

[Matt McCusker]

they're on the ascension.

[Theo Von]

Oh yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

You see that? You know, this is actually a good sign.

[Theo Von]

This. This. This lady's got her act together.

[Matt McCusker]

Hop in. There's a nine month old in a car seat. You're like, bad sign. This lady needs mop.

[Theo Von]

He's sleeping on a pack of Swiffer replacement covers.

[Matt McCusker]

I tried my hand at stripper dating. Wasn't. You know, I'm nothing against him. I just wasn't cut out for. It was. It was a little too rough and tumble for me.

[Theo Von]

You have to be a boss, you have to also work late hours. To be a stripper's boyfriend, you are working. They work in late hours. You have to be up when they get home, dude. My sister had a friend that was a stripper, right?

[Matt McCusker]

Y.

[Theo Von]

She would come over to our house and. And her and my sister always fighting and stuff. And. And then she stole our vacuum one time, right.

[Matt McCusker]

Trying to break into the industry.

[Theo Von]

Velissa. That was her name. Melissa. Which isn't even a name. Like, what name is it? Volissa.

[Matt McCusker]

That's kind of a crazy day.

[Theo Von]

It's crazy, dude. And so anyway, she sold her vacuum, dude. Two years later, I met like one of these real fancy parties where they have a woman pop out of the cake or whatever. Like, you know the thing you kind of see, like, they actually had a girl pop out of the cake. They had two cakes and two girls pop out of them. And like, it was a big birthday for this guy. And. And they were strippers, right? And one of them was the woman.

[Matt McCusker]

Whoa.

[Theo Von]

It was Verissa who had stolen our vacuum, dude. And so guys are tipping her and. And I'm just like, waiting. I'm just in the bag. Just like, just making vacuum sounds and locking on her.

[Matt McCusker]

It's up to take someone's vacuum, too. That's a. That could really throw a household under quick.

[Theo Von]

And me and my sister were on our last limb as neighbors, dude. And we lived under this family that was like, very heavy boned.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I'm stomping.

[Theo Von]

Yes. And they were beating each other. I think there was domestic abuse.

[Matt McCusker]

Yikes.

[Theo Von]

And I would call the police all the time on them. I've called the police. I've always called the police a lot since I was. Since I was a child. But yeah, I would call the police all the time. And I'd be like, he has a gun. That's what I'd say every time.

[Matt McCusker]

That's a good. They get right there.

[Theo Von]

They're right there.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

If you're like, hey, he's beating this woman. One of his kids. He tied his kid to a tree outside or whatever.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

He just put a bunch of crow food on his kids shoulders and tied him to a tree outside.

[Matt McCusker]

Never. They don't get. Yeah, they're not gonna. Gun is. That's the code. That's the fast pass.

[Theo Von]

Because they want the action, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

They do. They love it. And will they get like, cred if a cop takes a gun off the street? That's something they get like, accolades for bringing a guy's like, Just socked his wife in the stomach. Nobody. Your sergeant doesn't like pat you on the back if you get a gun. It's like a. That's like a cop, like Pac man pellet that like takes you further in your journey. Yeah, that's bad. That's like literally a metric for cops. How many guns you get and all that stuff.

[Theo Von]

Were you almost on the force ever?

[Matt McCusker]

No, my wife was on the cop, so I got to like observe secondhand. I. Dude, I thought so hard about becoming a cop, but I could. I wasn't able to do it.

[Theo Von]

That's right. Your wife was a cop, huh?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I was selling weed so I couldn't become a cop.

[Theo Von]

You guys met?

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, we met before. Yeah, we were before that, but.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, but she was a cop when you met her?

[Matt McCusker]

No, she wasn't a cop. She just surprised me one day. I was like, I'm gonna become a police officer.

[Theo Von]

And I was like, she wants to call now?

[Matt McCusker]

No, no, no. She did it for like.

[Theo Von]

Was she ever a cop?

[Matt McCusker]

She was for five years in Philadelphia.

[Theo Von]

Okay, that's being a cop, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, dude, she was. She was on like little foot. She was on foot patrol and everything. She was in like, not the best area for sure in Philly, like north. No, she was in south, like Gray's Ferryish. So it's like, it's. It's a pretty. It's pretty rough.

[Theo Von]

A lot of areas there.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it was like gang. There were some gangs there for sure. It was like an old Irish neighborhood of like pretty. I would say pretty hardcore white trash. And then it was like black gangs, you know, It's a brutal. It's not a good mix. But the. So, yeah, and you gotta. Cops gotta watch like videos too of like all the bad stuff that happened. You get an email of like, like, like a 14 year old got shot up in a deli last night. It's just lively. It's like the video, it's like. I don't know. Why do they make them watch that stuff, dude?

[Theo Von]

Well, Twitter makes us all watch all that.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, true, true.

[Theo Von]

Dude, I'm not a cop. That's what I'm gonna start replying to some of these Twitter feeds.

[Matt McCusker]

I'll send this to the authorities.

[Theo Von]

I wake up in the middle of the night for some reason, turn on my phone, next thing I've seen seven people getting massacred outside of some, like. Yeah, outside of like a car dealership and outside of Tijuana or something. Like what? Yeah, what portal of hell did I just take Myself to.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, X is cr. Now I remember, like, I remember when it was Twitter, it was like, there's too much censorship. And I'm like, yeah, dude, like, let me see the real now. I'm kind of like, let's go. Let's censor this heavily again. My, my. I can't even go on X anymore. It's my. I get all like race baiting. Kind of like race war propaganda where it's like, can you believe it's just non stop, huh? You know, you know, you know, you

[Theo Von]

watch it, you get the race war propaganda.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, dude, I get like, lots of like, I get a lot of like white supremacy stuff.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I swear to God, I don't even like, I don't like her. They want you back.

[Theo Von]

They know you have a black wife.

[Matt McCusker]

They want me back. They want me, man. They're trying to break me out of that. But it's just like, yeah, it's. It's rough. I'll be like watching, trying to scroll next to my wife and it'll be like a guy screams the N word. I'm like, oh, what was that? I'm like, well, some video going back to Instagram, just a guy screaming N word again. I'm like, oh, my X feeds just completely bonkers.

[Theo Von]

Dude, Elon should do better than that. He should want better than that for society. I feel like. Yeah, you know, I think there's a lot of smut. It's just trash. It feels like trash, honestly. Yeah, I think there was a spot where it felt like. I mean, I guess there's still some good video and stuff on there. You'll see like, I'll see like some good political stuff on there. But I do feel like outside of that, it's losing. I feel like it's kind of starting

[Matt McCusker]

to lose its vibe, I think so. It's. Then you read the news. It's like this now, valued at $90 trillion. And like, how. How the. Why is this worth so much money now? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe though if you do flood it with porn and like, violence, it does make a bazillion dollars. So good business wise, he might be crushing it, but I, It's. I had a. I've stepped off of X. Yeah. Yeah. I can't. I just can't watch it. It's too much.

[Theo Von]

It's too much. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm trying to go to bed. I'm trying to drown myself to sleep.

[Theo Von]

I'm trying to have a decent life. Killing animals in my backyard.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, Only when necessary. Yeah. What is funny too, like. Yeah, you're, like, trying to, like, you know, I want to live in a safe neighborhood. Then you're just watching just people being shot in the face and you're like, why am I doing this in my safe house? This is crazy, dude.

[Theo Von]

It's. We're at a point, for sure. One of the biggest things I'm noticing, or for myself, that I notice we're at a point. What the am I talking about? That's insane.

[Matt McCusker]

We might be at a point. Let's see.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Where like, I have to control what comes into me, man.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And if I don't, then that's my fault.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. It's true.

[Theo Von]

You know? Now the algorithm, the people that make the algorithms should be able to be held liable if, like, someone goes and does a crime based on, like, them feeding them, like, the same type of, like, somebody goes and shoots out a place because they got indoctrinated into some really strong and, like, sadistic beliefs or something. Because the algorithm fed them that. I think that those people should be held liable.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, man. Or it's tough. Case by case is tough because it's like, well, how do you it, like in court, obviously, like the moral thing. Yeah. But like, like a lawyer, though. Like, Facebook's lawyers will just shred that and be like, oh, he was watching that and this and that. They'll get out of that. But I agree, it's like, I think. Didn't they just rule against Facebook now being like, yeah, what was a thing came against them being like, yo, you guys kind of like they did with cigarettes, where they're like, yeah, dude, this shit's bad. You knew it was bad. You gave it to people. Now you got a fork.

[Theo Von]

Here you go, right here. A jury has ordered Meta and Google to pay $3 million to a 20 year old woman who alleged that she became addicted to Instagram and YouTube as a child. Damn.

[Matt McCusker]

Shit. All right, everyone else, get on that train.

[Theo Von]

Jurors found the company's liable for product design features that harmed her mental health. The plaintiff, Kaylee gm, testified that the apps replaced her hobbies and contributed to anxiety, depression, and body dysmorphia. Yeah, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

That they have about 2 billion lawsuits coming about the same.

[Theo Von]

Like, that's it says it right here. The case is the first of thousands targeting big tech over addiction to reach trial, a bellwether to assess how other claims could be resolved.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, this is apparently, from what I heard, like, long ago, is a lot of these social media companies had people who design Slot machines consult with them to like, how to make their basically interface as addictive as possible. You know, when you, like, pull down and refresh and like, your phone kind of like shakes a little bit. There's that little noise. That's like slot machine technology somehow, like, it's designed to, like, you get a little dopamine burst when it goes like, bump, and you're like, oh, yeah, new stuff. And it's like, apparently it's set up like that where it's like, it's purposely designed to be maximally addictive. And they did that on purpose. Yeah, that's. And it's like, that's. It's like cigarettes. They're like, ah, this is bad for you. You know, now they're gonna have to pay out. They already have billions and billions of dollars. They don't have to just fork some of the billions.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah. It's worth it to them.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

To continue to do it. But do remember the old school dopamine burst? You'd see a bald eagle fly by. That's.

[Matt McCusker]

That was the dopamine burst. Yeah. Remember those days?

[Theo Von]

Or even if it wasn't and somebody just said. Said it was true.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. You couldn't see.

[Theo Von]

When you're a kid, you're staring up into the sky to pointing.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude. I. I do remember being younger before the Internet and just like, like, it's like summer, and I would just be like, sitting outside and just like, I would just be able to kind of like, stare off for a while and just like, be like, this is nice. And I. It's like, I have a. I can't, like, take a. Now if I don't have my phone. I'm like, I need to. I need to be scrolling.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. When was the last time that we've daydreamed?

[Matt McCusker]

You know, I know it's tough. You. You really do. I have to, like, on a plane, I can try to, like, force myself, but then the whole time I'm like, I can't believe I'm not on my phone. I'm so cool right now. I don't even daydream. I just, like, pat myself on the back for not looking at my phone.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

And then I go, you know what? I'm gonna look at my phone. Everyone's looking at their phone, dude.

[Theo Von]

Or if you go to a rest. It used to be this is the craziest thing to think that someone could be in a restaurant by themselves. Like, 40 years ago, you could do that. You could be in a restaurant by yourself, sitting at A table. And you wouldn't look insane.

[Matt McCusker]

That's true.

[Theo Von]

Now without a phone, like 40 years now. If you see someone in a restaurant by themselves just sitting there waiting for some people who are probably doing coke to bring them their food. Dude, there's no.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude. I. I do this when I go out. When I, like, I'm in a different city, I'll go out to dinner by myself and I'll pride myself and I'll sit there and just like, waiting for some congratulations. It never comes. I just stare straight like. You literally don't know what to do with yourself because it is that problem. You're like, I can't stare straight ahead. I'll try to look like kind of almost like I'm dreamily like, yeah. Oh, and it's just nothing there.

[Theo Von]

Or I'll rearrange a silverware again.

[Matt McCusker]

Do that.

[Theo Von]

Play the shell game with like, fork, knife, napkin, fork, napkin.

[Matt McCusker]

Go to the bathroom really slow. Oh, look at that.

[Theo Von]

Chick fil a is offering free ice cream to families who agree to put their phones away during their meal.

[Matt McCusker]

Bro.

[Theo Von]

As part of an effort to encourage more face to face time and less screen use at the table. What are the exact rules with that?

[Matt McCusker]

Who's enforcing? And dude, imagine if you cost your family the Chick fil a family meal just from one glance. That's tough. I would. You would get in serious trouble.

[Theo Von]

You glanced out of your phone just to see the bears didn't get it done. Again.

[Matt McCusker]

Blows a whistle at you.

[Theo Von]

They should have a. Dude, Chuck. Fil a is his name. It's just a black. Just a black dude in there. He's a straight chicken cop in there.

[Matt McCusker]

That'd be a good job. He's like, boom. Got you.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Fork. $38. Let's go. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Chuck. Filet Chuck strikes again.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. That's shit, man. That's. That's nice. Chick Fil A. It's. You know, I like that. I do too.

[Theo Von]

I like that if they're not on their phone, it. Let me see. The promotion is only offered at select Chick fil A locations by individual operators. Not a company wide program.

[Matt McCusker]

2016.

[Theo Von]

It originated in 2016 from a Georgia operator and has been revived locally at various times. I like that, though.

[Matt McCusker]

I do too.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude, there was just like. Or just driving and thinking about shit.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I know.

[Theo Von]

Dude, your mind had so much time to like. I think that's one reason we're more creative. Because our mind was able to just fucking create. It was able to, like, the ram wasn't always you Know your computer sends you that thing. It's like your RAM is almost done. You don't even know what your RAM is. You're like, I better empty the RAM trap.

[Matt McCusker]

Clean this out. I need to defragment. I still don't know what that is. Yeah, no, dude, it's, that's really, it's like, you know, because you have sleep, your brain gets to rest. But that like downtime, your brain does do stuff. Like it like kind of organizes things. When you just kind of chill out because that's. I like when you. So when you're on your phone, you know when you read something on your phone, you're like, you don't remember any of it because as you're reading, you're. When you're on your phone, every button and thing you're moving is like, it's a problem solving part of your brain. So like you're, you're trying to like, you know, you want your memory to be active. So you're like, you know, reading like information's coming. You have so much coming at you. Like you're. The part of your memory that can store information along to the short term is like a tiny little bucket in your brain. So it only fits so much. When you're like hitting buttons and going up and down this and that, it just gets just, it's like splashing a ton of water in a tiny bucket. Just everything spills out. So I never remember anything. I research stuff on my phone all the time. And then I go like, that'll be like, like, like how many carbs do you need to be in keto? I'll read a whole article on it and like a day later I'll be like going to tell someone about it. I'm like, I don't know, you need like only a little. I can never retain anything.

[Theo Von]

Well, dude, if somebody wants to tell me something these days, I'm like, dude, I can look at information and we all have it now. I know, like somebody used to have the information. Like you had to go down the street.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You had to get molested by a guy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Price you paid just to figure out how to like, you know, grow bougainvilleas in your backyard. You know what I'm saying?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. No, it's, it's true. Now I can just take a picture of a plant. It's like, this is the plant you're growing. I do it all the time. And it'll be like, is this good? When can I harvest this? Blah, blah. Yeah, it's Actually I do kind of like that.

[Theo Von]

But you'll just take a picture and you'll do what? Put it in a like perplexity or something?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. Like grock and be like yeah, when can I pull this garlic? But it's, it's not sure fire. It'll be like, have you eating today

[Theo Von]

and it just shows you some.

[Matt McCusker]

Go check this out.

[Theo Von]

It's not the same thing. As America celebrates its 250th birthday this year, let's remember the people who helped build it. The American ranchers. And one way to do that is I believe by supporting American Ranchers. And no one does that better than Good Ranchers. That's where I get my meat and poultry. I have a subscription. At a time where most Americans aren't sure where any of our products are coming from, Good Ranchers is doing things right. They source their cuts from local farms and American ranches. Full stop. I've met these guys and we've talked about how they're one of the only meat companies dedicated to keeping things sourced in the us. They've got all the cuts of meat. They've got this and that and poultry and thighs and filets and nugget. They've got it and it's good. I'm a subscriber. You can be too. Subscribe now to Good Ranchers and get free meat. Yep. Just use code theo to get $100 off over your first three orders. Go to goodranchers.com and use code THEO. That's goodranchers.com American meat delivered. They are the truth. You know they say anywhere worth going is worth going in good boots. Find your perfect pair with to Covas to Cova's crafts quality western boots for everyone from generational ranchers and lifelong cowboys. Yeah. To first time boot buyers to Cova's boots are handcrafted with over 200 meticulous steps for broken in comfort right out of the box. And their in store experience. It's unparalleled with expert staff and complimentary beverages. Beverages. Beverages and customizations. I put my Tokova's on and boy I'm ready to. I'm just ready to dang meet somebody. I'm ready to introduce myself to the world right now. You get 10% off at tokova's.com theo when you sign up for email and texts. That's 10 off at t e c o v a s.com t h e o to covas.com theo see site for details To Covas. Point your toes West.

[Matt McCusker]

I. I personally Am not worried about AI like people like it's going to end the world. It's gonna. It's like, I don't, I don't worry. I don't think it is, honestly. And if it's. It. The thing is like, if it does, what are you really going to do, right? All these. A lot of people are doing this. Like I'm just not using it because it's like, I just feel like it's such a weird. It's like it's a computer. Like it's not. You can, you can destroy a computer easily. You say wait, but it'll like self build itself so you can. It's like, dude, that's. You're just. It's just nerds freaking out. It's not. I don't think it's a real threat whatsoever.

[Theo Von]

You know, I started to think it definitely could be like the Y2K thing. Remember that?

[Matt McCusker]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

I remember everybody was like, like forcing their like cousins to admit they were fat or whatever because God wasn't gonna want him after midnight or any like all that, you know. Or it was like, don't say you're a fan before midnight or whatever, you know, or God won't let you in or whatever. There was like all that kind of like those email chains or send this to 10 people that are fast. You get those type of email chain. Like, what is this, dude? But yeah, because they were trying to catch fat whatever. I think Bush senior was doing that. But anyway, that was crazy, bro. Everybody thought Y2K ended and then people thought the dot com boom. People bought like. Remember a guy bought like shoes.com and he prefer like. And then he sold her for like $270 million and we were all buying different dot com. You know, people were making up crazy dot com names.

[Matt McCusker]

I try to get a couple. Did you? Yeah, I didn't get anything good. Honestly, I don't. I don't remember. I think I sold them off right away or just. They're probably just dead. They expire too if you don't keep refreshing them. Yeah. Anything good? I watched a soft white underbelly. This has been cracking me up for like a month. There was a guy who is similar to that lawsuit. He was going on being like, like I had too much Internet at a young age and it like, it had a bad effect on me. And he was like going out and compulsively doing like gay acts. But he was like, I'm not gay. I just got like, you know, it was the Internet and the thing that got him into it was gay.com, which just made me laugh so hard just as a young kid. Just hitting gay dot com. Your whole life just over. Everything changes from gay dot com.

[Theo Von]

Hey, bud.

[Matt McCusker]

Getting caught in fifth grade on gay dot com. I would have been done. Dude. Old. Two older brothers catching gay dot com out of fried.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that would have been crazy, huh? Going up to your room, you get to get on gay.

[Matt McCusker]

That's a billion dollar hash. That or not. Hashtag, hyperlink, whatever. People got that gay dot com.

[Theo Von]

So that's still worth money.

[Matt McCusker]

I for sure.

[Theo Von]

Gay dot com to send it to your buddy.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, Hilarious. Change. You can change the hyperlink. You can do. There's a way you can do that. Oh, man.

[Theo Von]

Dude, buff homos.com was one of my favorite ones. Ari man is this comedian and he started a website called buffhomos.com.

[Matt McCusker]

did he really?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. See if it's still active or not. I bet he pays.

[Matt McCusker]

Buffhomos.com is great. What's he doing with it?

[Theo Von]

He didn't want to. Oh, just go. Just goes to his website, which I think he should change that, but maybe not.

[Matt McCusker]

Actually. All you have to do is if you put like one good buff gay guy.

[Theo Von]

Well, he was doing it in. His fucking management told him not to do it.

[Matt McCusker]

He couldn't curate buff homos.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, they're like, you know, it's just kind of like that's on the beside of a manager.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that's a billion dollar idea.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

That's crazy if you.

[Theo Von]

If you're not a.

[Matt McCusker]

So his managers had to sit him down and be like, about buffhomos.com.

[Theo Von]

yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

But then. But then they told him to make that his landing page, basically.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. A non buff homo on there. And I love Aria's open for me a bunch over the years. He's a great comedian and he's a great, great dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Clearly business genius, too. Buffomos.com is so good, bro.

[Theo Von]

And he would send me the pictures of buff homos and stuff. And it was like. And it was like he would get his friends that owed him favors. He would give him stage time if they modeled for it. So that was the best part. So you had like guys like Steve. Steve Fury, just different comedians who were like kind of door guys at the store, but were also growing good comedians like Craig connect. And he would have them just modeling, like just regular dudes. But when you put them under the banner of buff homos, it's crazy. You put a banner over something, you see a Picture of a regular dude with his shirt off. You're like, okay, maybe that guy's trying to get the military, whatever, and they write buff homos above it. You're like, oh, this changes everything.

[Matt McCusker]

I mean, okay. So his manager is probably worried about the fallout of being like, is it true that you tricked young comics into stage time for modeling for Buffo Hose.

[Theo Von]

Com? I think some of them knew what was going on.

[Matt McCusker]

True. For sure.

[Theo Von]

They're all buddies, but.

[Matt McCusker]

But yeah, that's a good lose. That's a good lose a bet kind of thing. Like, you lose the bet playing poker for, like, buff homos of the week.

[Theo Von]

I had a website called total creeper.com for a while.

[Matt McCusker]

Did you really?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, this was a long time ago. And I would just find total creepers and just take pictures of them, put them on that. Dude.

[Matt McCusker]

And dude, I did those early websites on the Internet. There was mullet.com. that was great. Yeah, mullet.com was good. There was cameltoe.org people just snap camel toe shots and like. No way that one was that. Yeah, that one was a little. That's a little bit of an invasion of privacy, obviously, but I remember as a young man being pumped on camel.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, what was a good one? Oh, there was like, that. Is there a way to look at total. Is there a way to find that in the, like, analogs of anything, guys?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, web archive might have it.

[Theo Von]

No, no, this wasn't my.

[Matt McCusker]

That's Tumblr. That's a UK female.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that's Tumblr. Do you remember Tumblr? That shit was weird.

[Matt McCusker]

Tumblr was crazy, dude. Dude, I never got into it personally, but I. I knew a girl who, like, was. Her big thing was curating a Tumblr of just, like, lightly pornographic content. It was just like a sex Tumblr. It was crazy.

[Theo Von]

Oh, dude, there was like, one like girls in panties getting out of cars or whatever and dude, something about it, dude, but in panties. Not, like thong. Not trashy, you know?

[Matt McCusker]

No, dude, we. We're. We're rare that we can still. We're JPEG heads. We're one of the last to have beaten it to a still image. Oh. You know what I mean? Like, not a lot of people can say that. Yeah, dude, right? I remember the, like, Cole. I used to come home from church on Sundays and grab the newspaper, pop out the Kohl's catalog, straight to the underwear section, lock the door in the bathroom. God, 45 minute sesh, dude.

[Theo Von]

I used to rub some of the, like, I Would rub like a thing. This is crazy. I should never say this because I'll never have a wife after this. But. But I would rub like a picture of like if they had a model, like a underwear model. I'd rub it under my arms because sometimes it would kind of smell like a little bit like that jerk off too.

[Matt McCusker]

You would stank it up.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah. I'll just kind of stack it up.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. I don't think my mom got it. My mom. That's actually really good. That's a good idea to stank it up.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. I never even thought about that.

[Theo Von]

Thanks, man. I felt ashamed of it. It.

[Matt McCusker]

The snake. I think that's actually pretty cool. Now the problem is you're crossing wires because you're going to catch like you're going to be out working out one day, catch some of your own funk and be like, God damn, I better come under there. Start eating out your armpit.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's insane.

[Matt McCusker]

That's the line.

[Theo Von]

No worries. I had a buddy that did that, that we catch him doing it at night. No sleepovers.

[Matt McCusker]

Really.

[Theo Von]

Because he had like hair under his arm and he would kind of get his. Get it. Get his tongue around the corner of his boss of his pectoral.

[Matt McCusker]

Ah, that's weird.

[Theo Von]

And get him a little nibble.

[Matt McCusker]

Just get you a little nibble, Danny. Pretty impressive you nibbling your arm pussy,

[Theo Von]

huh, Ricky? Okay, this was. Yeah. Are there any still on here?

[Matt McCusker]

Total creepers. Sick.

[Theo Von]

But yeah. People were supporting. People were sending this shit in. This is good.

[Matt McCusker]

Sending the creepers in is awesome.

[Theo Von]

My great aunt died and there are two zombie jokers showed up to the burial and said they were friends of hers, but no one knew of these two. What you think?

[Matt McCusker]

But that's total creepers. That's a really good one.

[Theo Von]

It was good, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Damn. 2007, Lampman.

[Theo Von]

This guy and I were at the same full service car wash. He was yelling into his phone about a mortgage. What do you think? Yeah, I miss the imagination, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I miss like seeing a girl smile at you like on a Friday at school or give you some sign of like. Maybe she even just like asks you to go throw some trash away for us.

[Matt McCusker]

That would have been awesome. I would have loved to do that.

[Theo Von]

Totally. And then you're thinking all week and you're like, she's thinking about me.

[Matt McCusker]

Yep.

[Theo Von]

I'm gonna start working out. You start making like. Like we would like chisel like weights out of like wood and. And try to like get pumps. Yeah. And we didn't know that it had to weigh a real amount. We were like, oh, it just has to look heck weights and just dumb. But then Monday you'd be like, oh, she hates me again. But there was just that couple day period where there was no phone to see that she was having a blast or that she was like her family was rich or whatever, had a boat or whatever. You just laid at home in your poor bed.

[Matt McCusker]

Yep. Thinking, just imagine her. Yeah, it was actually. I, I genuinely, I know people say this all the time, but I, I do feel bad for like younger kids. Have you gotten into like the clavicular stuff? I see this maxing and all that stuff. So he did an interview with Andrew Callahan recently. I watched and I've watched a lot of his stuff. But there's like this world of guys that are like, you know, looks maxing is like you. The, your only hope in life is to become as attractive as possible. But now they're doing these things where like injecting a bunch of peptides. These are like young, like, you know, early 20s. Go on TRT. You're hitting the peptides and you know, the thing that gets like sensationalized is like, like you kind of tap your jawbone with a hammer because like it's called like bone hammering or whatever. So you like kind of do micro fractures. Dude, it's crazy. And he, I watched the interview. He said like, oh man, like that's really nothing. But that's all like, what? Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Bone smashing is a dangerous non scientific social media trend primarily popular on Tick Tock and within looks maxing subcultures that involves intentionally inflicting blunt force trauma on facial bones to alter their structure. Proponents falsely claim that repeatedly breaking or bruising bones with hammers, bottles or hard objects will cause them to heal in a more chiseled or masculine shape. If that's the case, everybody in Stockton would be fucking beautiful. True.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, true. Everyone's been fucking hit in the face.

[Theo Von]

Everybody fucking hit by bottles and shit.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, well, the thing is, it's like, you know, a lot of it's just Internet stuff, but there is the underlying philosophy where it's like, you know, the die has been cast for you. And if you're not like, you know, super attractive or like as a, you know, it's like guys are kind of becoming girls now where it's like, I just got to be prettier. And it's like there's a, it's called the bone structure hierarchy where like the way your bone structure is that kind of determines your whole fate as a person. And if you don't ascend, you'll become this, like, it's just like sad and very bleak and like this like, I don't know, this like really nihilistic thing where it's just like, dude, you can just be a dude. You don't have to be like, I need to ascend. I need to ascend so I can mog and blah, blah, blah. Just. I feel bad. I mean, I think a lot of kids at least joke about it, but I was watching an interview and I'm like, man, this is like a really sad way to live. Being like my. But my, my sub orbital is not maximal. And it's like, dude, you're a guy who cares. Just.

[Theo Von]

And what is mogging? That's.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, mogging is like. So you can be. You can be height marked. You can be frame mog. If you're like, someone's bigger than you and you. If they take a picture with you and they're looking bigger, you've been mogged.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[Matt McCusker]

If they're taller than you, you've been height mogged. You know, there's. And there's like, you can go any dimension of like, like whatever you have.

[Theo Von]

So somebody could begin you. Somebody could be.

[Matt McCusker]

That's the worst mog. If you get mog. Dude, that's tough. Yeah, I'd be hitting mine with a hammer.

[Theo Von]

Look at the jawbones on this little like, damn, that thing's small. You're like, yeah, but look at that smile on it.

[Matt McCusker]

Which is brutal because I know girls do that. They take pictures together and there's a lot of like very hyper specific comparison where they're like, look at my knees and her. It's like, this is now like younger guys, I think are starting to do that to some degree, becoming very aware and conscious of like, he's taller than me in that photo. It's like, you're fine. It's. I don't know. That kind of freaks me out. We don't. We can't have both people, right? There's no, there's no, there's not a. He got frame mogged. That was. He took a picture that's clavicular. And okay, he got framed because the guy stood next to him was bigger and it was just. That's like, now you descend. You were ascending and now he descended a little bit.

[Theo Von]

Damn, it's. And this clavicular. I mean, that guy also looks like. He looks like a GNC store.

[Matt McCusker]

So the other guys. So that's the Asu frat guy. The guy in the black is clavicular.

[Theo Von]

Yes.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. So that guy. Yeah, it's. That's just. It looks. It looks unnatural, I guess, is what I'm trying to say.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude, well, that. First of all, the guy on the right looks insane, dude. He honestly looks like a good. Like kind of a trill lesbian. No. Cat, bro. No. Cap dog. Blm. Dog. You know what I'm saying? You're wearing a like, bra shirt or whatever. What are you doing? And also, you know who started all that was Lar. Lar Jam.

[Matt McCusker]

Low ball.

[Theo Von]

Dude.

[Matt McCusker]

This.

[Theo Von]

Whatever. That dude wearing that bra or whatever. Remember he was shooting that fade away?

[Matt McCusker]

No, no. Was he wearing a bra?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, him and SGA were like, just gooning around after.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, I think that. I think I. Well, then this is.

[Theo Von]

This was that.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know that when I was

[Theo Von]

growing up, mixed dudes wasn't. Mixed dudes had enough.

[Matt McCusker]

That's what you're talking about. What the is that about?

[Theo Von]

No, that's not it. That's crazy. Yeah, I'm saying that's crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

That's wild.

[Theo Von]

You don't. When do you need just that much of a shirt?

[Matt McCusker]

Yes. Take it. Yeah, you don't need it at all.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, like you hit a gross spurt or whatever. Dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, the sad thing about, like, the. You see that guy? That's like a very bizarre frame with all like the peptides and like filters and all this stuff. That's what's garnering all the attention, like, especially for women. Like, your lips have to look. All. People are becoming literally artificial beings and they're. It's like, dude, it's. It sounds like a really complicated thing. It's just. I think about this all the time. There's this thing called supernormal stimuli which is like saying, you know, it's. It's. It's not as, like, crazy as it sounds. So, like, say they did these studies where they had these butterflies and like the male butterflies that they saw a female that was a shade of purple. The more purple the butterfly was, that was the more attractive they were. And the butterflies would go mate with those butterflies. The scientists made a shade of purple that wasn't able to be produced by the natural butterflies. That was like such a deep purple. The butterflies would just lay on this piece of cloth and just die. And I feel like that is happening to people in some regard where people are like, especially women are making themselves into these, like, artificial things. And now guys are matching and it's just. I Don't know. Freaks me out. So you're chasing an aesthetic that's not natural and it's not attainable, and they're using all these, like, scientific methods.

[Theo Von]

A lot of women. If women have those lip injections, dude, I'm out there.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

If women put on too much lip, like, if it's a little bit I can get right. But if it's just fucking dumb, dude. Like, your lips look like they've been like. Like they've been eating or whatever.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, dude. No, I'm telling that. And there's. There's also a fine line of plastic surgery where it almost all ends in the same exact look. There's like a fully constructed face that you're like, oh, it's just like, plastic surgery face. I just feel bad because, you know, you're obviously insecure. Everybody is. And then you do all this work and you're like, oh, my nose looks better. This looks better. And then it's like. And I have this, like, look that I look like I'm a clone or something.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude. Some. It's just too much.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And then also if a girl puts on so much lip gloss, bro, I'm like, it. Dislike. It's almost like you're saying it's like it's too. It's like too much of the purple color. It's like, it's too juicy. Yes.

[Matt McCusker]

No one's lips are this juicy. Like, chill. And it's. I just feel bad because. Oh, yes, I've seen this for sure. That one is.

[Theo Von]

Look what he's wearing.

[Matt McCusker]

That's a rough look.

[Theo Von]

He's wearing a jersey bra. He's wearing a Jersey, bro. Look at this.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that's.

[Theo Von]

I mean, what is going on?

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know. I don't know. Having a good time.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that's a good point, man. No, but that's.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I saw that. That's. You know, that's one of those videos. You're like, dang. Did I really look like that during that? Still smiling. That's like a no.

[Theo Von]

And the guy's a boss dude, too. And honestly, if he's one of the. If. If any of these guys ended up being gay fellas or whatever.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And being one of the best to ever do it. Good for them.

[Matt McCusker]

Exactly. Gives a shit.

[Theo Von]

Gay Jordan.

[Matt McCusker]

Gay Jordan would be nice. Just that light, that slightly lighter lift off this. That would actually be kind of sick to watch fly. Floating.

[Theo Von]

Floating through the air.

[Matt McCusker]

I just. I feel bad for, like, you know, because you have.

[Theo Von]

They.

[Matt McCusker]

They get like, Preyed upon because you're on social media and it's just nothing but before and afters. Before and afters, before and afters. And you just go after that and you get, like. You can get, like, permanently disfigured. And it's just, you know.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

I don't know. Something strikes me as, like, evil to do that.

[Theo Von]

Well, there's a lot of stuff now too, where it's like, you know, the peptide, like, all that stuff.

[Matt McCusker]

A lot of it.

[Theo Von]

There's not a ton of research done on it. We just started hearing about it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And everybody started using it.

[Matt McCusker]

I know.

[Theo Von]

And there was. Dude, I remember I was with a girl one night in her car, and I was trying to make out or something. I remember. But we were sitting in there talking and she's like, yeah, I gotta leave in like two hours to go down to Tijuana to get some Ozempic. It's just cheaper down there.

[Matt McCusker]

Really?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Dude, they busted a woman outside of a vineyard bond selling illegal Ozempic.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, bro. Yeah, that's because you start going to the doctor and then they, you know, they all start talking to each other and they get. One of them gets it off the Internet. Yeah, there's. Dude, so many of them are doing it. Taking the jab. And it is. Because you do get it. Like, you can go to a doctor, but it's like, it's kind of expensive. And all it takes is one of them being like, I got this website. I'll get it. I'll inject you. And then it's like, does this person know what they're doing? Where did they really get that? What is this stuff? And it's. I'm. I'm so freaked out about putting anything into my body. I. I, like, can't do it. I'll take, like a new vitamin. And I'm like, I feel kind of weird today. That's me. I'm being a. But it's like, I really am like.

[Theo Von]

But that's Irishness, I think, as well.

[Matt McCusker]

I think so.

[Theo Von]

You guys operate best on beer and stuff like that.

[Matt McCusker]

I think so.

[Theo Von]

Basic whiskey, beer.

[Matt McCusker]

Complete basics. Yeah. Adding to. I've. I took the one. It was like a pill form that just take it for your stomach. And I think it helped. I didn't really notice much, but the needles, man, I'm like, I get just too scared. I have one in my fridge. I can't do it. I'm like, I. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna do it. Supposed to help you, like, Sleep and burn fat. And I, like, look at it. I go, no, I'm not doing that. Just sits there. I'm scared of the needle. I won't do it. I won't do it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude. Yeah, say that in case things get crazy, shoot it into one of your plants. Plants true, dude. If you started peptide plants, dude. Next thing you know, you have, like, 11 blackberries in your yard, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

That would be nice. But, yeah, we can each have my whole family. Each have, like, three a piece. That'd be awesome.

[Theo Von]

How good are radishes, though? You mentioned radishes.

[Matt McCusker]

Radishes, man, they're. They grow so easy, and they're like. They're good. They can get a little spicy here and there. But, like, those ones are. They were rewarding because, like, that. This is the thing, too. Like, I tried growing carrots, dude. The carrot greens this big. I pulled the carrot out. I'm not lying. Yeah, it's this big. So that.

[Theo Von]

That kind of hurts.

[Matt McCusker]

You wait three months. So you just got to take it out and throw it on the ground. Just let it kind of decompose. Radishes just rip, man. You can grow radishes anywhere.

[Theo Von]

Those bowl those under those, like, potatoes, radish. I think this is pretty easy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, tubers or whatever they're called, I think. Yeah, potatoes are tuber radish. I don't know what the hell. Like, root vegetables, I guess. Yeah, root vegetables, they grow pretty good, man.

[Theo Von]

My grandmother used to have them all in her cellar at the end, back in. In the day. They'd have a lot of, like, senior citizens would have them in their cellars and stuff like that.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Keep a lot of root vegetables in there. I love radishes, though. They're kind of. They've kind of disappeared for a while. You would see them kind of like, shaved up. Like they'd been. Yeah. Literally, like, somebody had terrorized them and put them on, like, little salads.

[Matt McCusker]

I've seen that. Like, shredded radish. Yeah. It's kind of weird. I feel like Mexican food brought them back into my life because I would see them on the tacos, and I. At first I'd be like, I'm not eating. And then I started eating them. I'm like, damn, these things are pretty good, actually. You get a five.

[Theo Von]

Spicy radish up, bro. Put a little bit of salt on it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, man, they're good. They're good. And there's something. I mean, just pulling it out of the ground, washing off and eating it. It's just there's something awesome about that.

[Theo Von]

You ever pulled one right out and just wash it right there and eat it in the yard?

[Matt McCusker]

I'd have to wash it first, so I usually bring it inside. But I'd like to. I feel like those. You know, I've, like, picked them off. I picked like, berries off a bush and eating them. But the radish, I'd never pulled them out of the dirt and eat them.

[Theo Von]

Now do that.

[Matt McCusker]

I should actually. I. I have left a little bit of dirt on before when washing it. And like, it's got to be minerals and in here. I don't believe eating. Don't believe all the eating the dirt propaganda, dude. You can eat dirt for sure.

[Theo Von]

I wouldn't have a ton. I mean, it depends on what area.

[Matt McCusker]

Just a dust True. Yeah, true, true, true. My soil is pretty good. That's the thing, too. You gotta, like, work. You gotta, like, you know, you gotta build like a whole little colony in your soil, you know, because if you just dump soil out of a bag, it's not. It's not living.

[Theo Von]

How many square feet is your garden?

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, man, not a lot. It's probably like 40 total. If. If that. And then I have a little thing outside my fence. It gets, like, full sun all day. That's probably another, like. I probably have like 50, 60 square feet total. Small.

[Theo Von]

Do you have to water in the morning and evening or how does it work?

[Matt McCusker]

I do in the summer. Yeah, but water pale.

[Theo Von]

Use the hose.

[Matt McCusker]

I had those and I have. I have, like, some sprinklers now I gotta hook them up. But the. I just kind of water them, though, twice a day, depending on. Depending on how hot it is. If it's like super hot, that's twice a day. You put some mulch down, keep the roots up. Keep the roots from getting scorched. So it's just. It's nice, man. Especially like.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

When you just see a new little bud pop off your plant. It's just such a. I come out in the morning and I'm like, oh, it's just a nice little treat.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. And you're kind of like an orchestra conductor.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Nature.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it's. It is. It's pretty cool. And you got to be patient. You got to wait. And it's like. Like, dude, I planted garlic six months ago. I might have some, like, in three weeks. And it's just like. Just like a thing that's, like, good. That's grow. You know what I mean? That's like, you know, because otherwise I've had a lot of times in life where I just have nothing to look forward to and you're just like, whatever. And every day I'm like, well, my berries, eventually two years. I have like things that are going to take like two years to grow and I'm like, man, two years is going to be sick. It's. I'm telling you, it's really good for you.

[Theo Von]

I've been wondering if there was ever a time when you were with your family and your car broke down. Because I've been there and I remember my, the car was broke down and I stood off. I walked off from that thing. I said, I ain't even being with y' all anymore. Just, just didn't even want to be by my family. Dang it. Just out of shame, Car Shield could have fixed that. Car Shield offers month to month vehicle protection plans designed to protect drivers from expensive car repair repair bills. Car Shield contracts have low deductibles to prevent stress to your wallet at a critical time and they partner with certified mechanics and repair shops around the country. For when you're in a bind, make a decision your wallet will love with Car Shield. Right now, Car Shield is offering our listeners 20% off with the code [e-mail] visit carshield.com to lock in your 2026 protection today and protect yourself from expensive car repairs. Again, go to carshield.com and use code THEO for 20% off. Is pornography causing a problem in your life? Do you find yourself watching porno for longer periods of time and having trouble stopping? Is porn affecting your relationship or dating life? Well, you're certainly not alone. Watching pornography has become so commonplace today and oftentimes men use porn to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety and depression. Shame and stigma prevent men from talking about these issues and getting help for them. I want to introduce you to my friend Steve. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity. Steve is a Long term Sexual Recovery member and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography and has dedicated his life to empowering men to do the same. Steve is an amazing person and he is a close friend of mine. I mean that Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life. Their coaches are in Long Term Recovery and will be your partner, mentor and spiritual guide to transcend these problematic behaviors. To learn more about Valor Recovery, please Visit them at www.valorrecoverycoaching.com or email them at adminallor recovery coaching.com. thank you. Well, I. You know what? I recently, I started to get up earlier and do, like, just really just start to take some control over my own life. More.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Like, and it's just helped me so much, man. It's helped me to, like. I don't know, everything else just feels like, more possible. It's like, oh, I'm caring about what I'm doing here, you know? Like, it hasn't been, like, every day has been perfect, but just like, over the past month, it's gotten like. Let me see what I'm trying to say. Like, so I'll get up and I'll, like, do some yoga workout, meditate, hit an AA meeting or something. And then I'm like, it's like 10am and now I'm. But. And the rest of my day is mine. Right. Like, I didn't have work and to do. But I just feel like. Like the more I'm investing in myself or things like that, it's like. It feels good, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

It's. Yeah, it's unbelievable. Because otherwise it's like, what is moving your life? And you don't. You know, you're just kind of being blown about. I do that all the time where I'm just kind of like, you have

[Theo Von]

to make your life mean something.

[Matt McCusker]

Exactly.

[Theo Von]

I think when you're a kid, you come out of this time where you're like, oh, there's all these things that I get to get put into, and there's somebody putting you in a. You don't even realize that, like, yeah, all this stuff happens and you're just in. But you like. We kind of lose that as we get older, you know? I mean, I know work comes along and family comes along, but it's like, yeah, you have to. I always feel like, oh, life has to make it. No, you have to make it.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, dude, it's like 100. True. That's actually fair. I never thought about that too, because you do get thrown into school and yeah. You're just like, well, I guess someone will throw me into a job. And then you just kind of just like, drift along. And it's like, I. I'll do that for like. Like, stretches of time, and then, like, I'll just. Something will happen where I'm like, what the am I doing? It just is a really bad feeling where I'm like, what am I doing with myself? And then, yeah, waking up and being like, I'm gonna do this this time. I'm gonna work out. I'M gonna do this. It. Dude, it really does make your life feel so much better. It's like, even if you get up, like, a half an hour early.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Just, like, just get up and, like, go for a walk. Otherwise. Yeah, that's. That's a feeling that I get, like, really free. Like, that'll really, like, bring me to a bad place when I realize I'm just being blown about.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

By the whims of whatever forces are

[Theo Von]

around me, especially as time goes on. Dude, I went to your birthday party. That was fun.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, that was fun. That was a complete shock.

[Theo Von]

40. So you had no idea?

[Matt McCusker]

No clue. Everyone's laughing at me. Like, you didn't even Google the thing. Like, my wife told me she was going to take me to a. An opera, and then she did it. It was actually, to her credit, it was a pretty good move. She's like, we don't. We never do anything like that. We never get dressed up. And I was like, all right.

[Theo Von]

It was Boys in the Hood, the opera.

[Matt McCusker]

I didn't know. I didn't know what the hell it was, man. I was like, I. I didn't. Everyone was laughing at me because, like, didn't you Google the opera wasn't even in town that weekend? I'm like, I didn't look it up. I was just showing up, man. You know?

[Theo Von]

And, dude, 84 of life's just showing up.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, man, that's. And I. I really can just be like, what? Like, I don't look into things. I. I realized that night. I didn't realize how little I truly, like, look into things. And I'll just, like, just be like, all right, I'll just come. I don't. I don't, like, research it, because I was talking to a lot of people that are like. Like, I'd have to look at the seat chart. I have to know where I'm sitting.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that's whimsical, dude. That's like an Irish hello or whatever.

[Matt McCusker]

I really do, dude, not know what the.

[Theo Von]

Is going on.

[Matt McCusker]

No idea what's going on there. And I just showing up like, oh, this will be cool. I was like, I'll get to see an opera. I've never seen that before. Just wait it until it came. And then. So I'm like, in my head, I'm like, I'm gonna be in a dark room all night. I was like, I'm just. Eat a little weed. Edible. I'll be fine. So I'm literally. She was like, all the tickets we got, we get to go meet the opera singers like before. And I'm like a meet and greet with the opera singer. So I'm like, sounds weird, but I'm like, yeah, I'm down to meet them. This has got be to cool. I'm super gullible. And then something kind of stoned. And I just like walk into this room being like. I remember the last thought I had was like, I wonder what opera singers are like, walk in and I saw my mother in law and I was like, what the hell? Why is she here? And then I saw someone I hadn't seen in like three years. And I. I truly was like, oh, I'm probably having a dream. And I was like, this is not real. And I kept looking around and like, the noises kind of came back and I was like, surprise. And I was like, like, what the. And then I got like angry. I was furious at first, telling me that, dude, I stood there and Everybody was like 150 people. I'm like kind of high on it. I'm like, this is. I know this is. Oh, completely overwhelming. Surprise. And then like, I'm looking around being like, what the. She made everyone wear tuxedos. And for this. And I'm just like, yeah, I forgot. Furious. Sorry. I just felt like, oh, no. And. And then I just kind of like, I like realized what was happening, that I was like frowning at 150, 50 people. And I had to like, oh, hey, thank you everybody. And it took me like an hour and a half to like the shock to wear off. I was. I was up. But you know, eventually I was like,

[Theo Von]

what was the anger about you thing? Kind of. Because, I mean, telling me that that was fascinating. And your wife was great, dude. Like, she started like five months in advance. He's like, don't forget Friday or whatever. And I'm like, this Friday? She's like, no, Friday in five and a half months. But she would remind you every month. And I was like, like. And then once I said, I promise. I said, I promise I'll be there. I'm like, I gotta be there. But it ended up being great, though. It was a great night, dude. I got to hang out with Tony. There we are right now. Adam Egot, Joe Derosa. And is that your cousin Zach? He works at the mothership.

[Matt McCusker]

He was. Yeah, he was at the mothership for a while.

[Theo Von]

But yeah, dude, it was a. It was a good group though, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

It was. That was. It was fun. I. I though I got. There was just like, I don't even. I couldn't even place the anger. At first, I was just going like, what the? And I was actually kind of looking forward to sitting in a dark room all night watching the. I was like, this will be crazy. And then it was just like. What I was angry about was like, I don't really like a lot of attention. So then I walked into just like, a complete and total. Just being, like, a wash and attention and, like, surprise. And it just, like, it pissed me off.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

And then I was like, oh, this is like a party. This is nice. It was. It literally took my brain a second to be like, at first, it wasn't even a party. You know what I mean? Like, my brain was like, these are just people looking at me like, why is this happening to me right now? And then it was like, it came in in layers, and I'm like, oh, this is my 40th surprise party. Because we did something two weeks before that. So I was like, nice, I'm done. So, like, it like, took me. My brain was, like, lagging for, like, seconds. And then, you know, I just, like, had to walk around and be like, hey, thanks. Say thanks. Hey, thanks.

[Theo Von]

You know, thanks, Maxing.

[Matt McCusker]

Thanks, Mouse. Thanks, Max. Postmaxing. Thanks, Maxing.

[Theo Von]

But, dude, was. It would be so funny because I'd be talking like a comedian, and then there'd be just somebody who was randomly downstairs who was at the thing. And it was a nice event, man. It was like an event, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

It really was. It was.

[Theo Von]

And there was like a thing with desserts. And there was. I think they even had, like, a duck or something. They had great food. They had. But then there would be also, like, just family members or somebody's like, I'm Matt's 11th cousin or whatever, you know, you know, fire department, you know, just. I'm like, like, what is going on?

[Matt McCusker]

I think one of. Yeah, one of my cousins. I know. I heard the next day, kind of college you and was like, let's get a photo right now. Yes.

[Theo Von]

Oh, I don't remember some things, but it was just like. There was a lot of different things. And you would get like, yeah, kind of Irishy looking guys and this and that. And then a. You know, just somebody with down syndrome who they said was Irish or whatever. And then even just down to a big freckle in a wheelchair, you know, it just like, there was this decision of McCarthy that had just been through it all. You know, some Civil War veteran was there. Like, it was ghosts there.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. People were taken aback because that was only a small faction of My family. So people that I knew would be like. Because you would just see various mutations of me where you'd be like, that's got to be one of his. That. People were like, really laughing about that all night, being like, I can literally spot every single one of your family members. You guys all look exactly the same.

[Theo Von]

Dude, that would be the best if they had done a think fine, man. Matt's family, like a.

[Matt McCusker]

Wear small.

[Theo Von]

Yes. And you had to, like, just find, like, amongst all the people there. You had to get, like, a signature from those 10 people.

[Matt McCusker]

That's kind of fun, actually. But no, it was. It was cool, man. I. I had a. You know, I always. I gave it up to Brittany.

[Theo Von]

I was like, man, it was very sweet of her.

[Matt McCusker]

Very nice, very impressive. It was. It was just such a. It was. Like. I said, it was like an event. It was like a massive event. And it's. You know, I'm always kind of like, I don't want to do anything, you know, blah, blah, blah. So that was. It was nice. I was like. I appreciated it, but it was. It was a lot for me to take in.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's scary, dude. Having a experience is kind of scary.

[Matt McCusker]

Especially that magnitude, man. That was like. That really, like, threw me upside down because I'm going, like, you know, I'm like. I don't, like, ask people to do anything. You see people wearing tuxes, I'm going, oh, so my family hates dressing up. So I'm like, they made. They made them do that. And, you know, I was just like. But it was cool. It was awesome.

[Theo Von]

And you can. You can. Can you still be drafted or not?

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, for the war. I think they just bought. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I think the war is a 42 unique term over the military. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

The conflict, the. Yeah, I think it's up to 42. So if I'm.

[Theo Von]

What are the requirements? And they keep making the age bigger.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude.

[Theo Von]

Dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, 42.

[Theo Von]

Dude.

[Matt McCusker]

There's a. I got two good years of me, bro.

[Theo Von]

You could be years a colonel.

[Matt McCusker]

That'd be crazy. I mean, I went to college at least. I want sergeant. Like, I'm not. I'm not going in there as a grunt.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

But actually, I'd kind of like to boss up as a guy, be on time.

[Theo Von]

What are some of the army chance. Do you have to do some of those? Probably, yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

It's like, I don't know what I've been told. Yeah. 42 is not that old or whatever.

[Theo Von]

Welcome America. Army raises enlistment age to 42.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, they're pandering to me.

[Theo Von]

Eases marijuana restrictions, Dude. So you can have. Dude, it's just going to be a bunch of thick trans kids on gummies out there. Here was one of the problems. Did you know that 70% of. Of young Americans are unfit to serve in the military? They couldn't serve in the military.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I've heard that.

[Theo Von]

70%. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

That's no surprise, man. That's, that's. I mean that's sad.

[Theo Von]

That blew my mind.

[Matt McCusker]

Really?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. When I was a kid, I feel like I like it felt like 70% could serve in the military.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Theo Von]

You had some kids in wheelchairs or something. You had like some black kids that were still sucking thumb or something even though they were like 19 and still rocky.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Which is cool. But they weren't saying anything. But they weren't. So you got to pick a path. But then you had like, yeah, one kid that would get sunburned bad. He couldn't go, yeah, that be stained kid or whatever who was always a piece of.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm down for them just doing like BattleBots. We're at the point now where yes. What is ridiculous to just be like, yeah, we're going to just send a bunch of 18 year olds there, shoot each other. So that's like, it's just like I said this before, it's like embarrassing. Like guys, for real, we're still doing this. Let's do BattleBots. Solve it, see what's up. Whoever wins gets, you know, whoever takes pink slips. Yeah. Your buzzsaw flips my wedge. Now you get the whole nukes. And if I'll build a better robot, I'll get the nukes back so I can destroy the world if I have to. You know, if I want to get my way.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I agree. It's like what do to really be using? I don't know, dude. It's just.

[Matt McCusker]

But there's a trick where it's like, yeah, you know what, you're right. Then some guy just blows up your city and you're like, I'm blowing them up. That.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So it's like, you know, I don't think. I think it's escapable.

[Theo Von]

A major update to army recruiting regulations this week raises the maximum age of recruit can join a 42 and removes a barrier to joining for recruits with a single legal conviction for marijuana or drug paraphernalia possession.

[Matt McCusker]

Nice.

[Theo Von]

The army's previous limit was 35. Though exceptions are occasionally made. The higher age limit brings the army in line with other services limit of 41 in the Navy and 42 in the air Force.

[Matt McCusker]

That's the weirdest of all. And again, it's. Whoa. The.

[Theo Von]

Is that kind of. I don't know. Oh, I thought that was fucking Doug Stano for a second on the left. Well, the secret double life of Kristi Noem's cross dressing husband Brian. The pouting, busty bimbo photos and trove of explicit messages. That could have been a costume he was doing.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I mean, let me see.

[Theo Von]

Is today revealed as a secret cross dresser who dons gigantic fake breasts and pink hot pants to chat with online fetish models.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, that's the pornhole going wrong, man. Yeah, so you need. You need to shut the laptop once you're putting. Once you're bimbifying yourself for webcam. Is that what happened? He was bimbifying?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it looks like. Well, his wife operated at the highest echelons of government handing handling matters of national security. In a recent role as DHS secretary, Brian Noem, 56, has been dressing up and playing adult enter and paying adult entertainers to talk dirty. The Daily Medals reviewed hundreds of messages involving three women from the bimbification scene, where porn performers transfer themselves into real life Barbie dolls by pumping colossal amounts of saline into their breath. Whoa.

[Matt McCusker]

That's. That's his. That was his boobs, basically. From saline.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. So he pumped his. Was he pumping his own tits full of that shit? God.

[Matt McCusker]

Okay. Yeah. No, he had balloons. Okay.

[Theo Von]

Oh, Brian. An insurance mogul can be seen squeezing into a flesh colored crop top with skin tight pink shorts.

[Matt McCusker]

Hold on. So those. Those tits were balloons with the nipple? Oh, the knots mimic the nipples. I mean, I'll get. I'll at least shout them out on the nipple position. That was.

[Theo Von]

That's pretty smart.

[Matt McCusker]

That was kind of nice. Dang, bro.

[Theo Von]

What the. Dude, what the.

[Matt McCusker]

Is going on, bro? That's nice. For balloons. I'll get.

[Theo Von]

Whoa.

[Matt McCusker]

What the. Oh, man.

[Theo Von]

But he has that kind of glossy skin where he's. You know what I'm saying?

[Matt McCusker]

That's okay, you horny guy. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that that's kind of alpha to be that horny where you have balloon boobs like a fifth grader.

[Theo Von]

No, it sounds like what those clavicular kids are gonna be doing. Putting hacky sacks in their chest.

[Matt McCusker]

And yeah, man, that is.

[Theo Von]

He sent his secret roster of online acquaintances at least $25,000 via Cash App and PayPal. But when the payments were delayed or failed to materialize, the chats would quickly turn sound sour.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, I bet I would if I paid 25, 000. Look at my balloon tits. And you didn't be delayed on me. I turned sour.

[Theo Von]

Damn. Oh, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

So they. They kind of, like, put his stuff out there?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's a sounding that somebody whose spouse is at that level has that kind of bad judgment.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, whoa, whoa.

[Theo Von]

Hold on, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

I didn't know this is a thing, dude.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I guess it is, dude. Honestly, bro, all this makes me want to cut my own wiener off and just. Just mail it to Africa, dude. I'm not even joking, dude. I thought about that for years. Cut my wiener off me.

[Matt McCusker]

Dumb.

[Theo Von]

Get my nuts off. Yeah, if they want it or just whatever you want, you can do it. Send them both.

[Matt McCusker]

But keep your nuts, because that'll keep your tea going and stuff.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, keep my nuts.

[Matt McCusker]

Let your nuts hang. Yeah, chop off your unit and just

[Theo Von]

keep everything and mail it to Africa. Feed a. Feed a person or two.

[Matt McCusker]

That'd be nice.

[Theo Von]

They grill that up in a second, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Watch that thing.

[Theo Von]

They get some Tennessee wiener in the mail.

[Matt McCusker]

They would grill it, put mine on a toothpick, and serve it at a party with others. But yeah,

[Theo Von]

dude, they'd be like, glizzy, Glizzy. Who wants a glizzy?

[Matt McCusker]

A fresh glizzy. But that is sad, man. It's like. Yeah, it's a way here.

[Theo Von]

The Uber driver, he's like, we need a revolution.

[Matt McCusker]

You podcast guy, he was, but you pumped up.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, no, he's trying to get me to do something. Like, dude, I'm trying to go. I'm going to work, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

He's probably CIA. Honestly, he could have been a He's

[Theo Von]

probably massage, but it was just kind of crazy. He's like, we need a revolution.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Because he's like, AI's gonna come. It's gonna be all waymos. We won't have a job, you know?

[Matt McCusker]

That's true, too. Yeah, that stuff's coming, man, for sure. That's gonna be weird. I mean, it is gonna be.

[Theo Von]

You're not scared of it, though, you said?

[Matt McCusker]

No, not really. I mean, it's like, I. Well, here's the thing. It's like, if I felt like it was coming and it would just, like, destroy my livelihood, I'd obviously be afraid of that. I don't think it is, and I feel bad if it does, but I. I feel like maybe this is me just being hopeful. It. It will kind of engender some, like, massive change where people then have to, like, learn how to, you know, like, do we start just sharing stuff so everyone has what they need? Like, what do you. Like, literally, what are you doing that? You know, people go, that's communistic. It's like, yeah, obviously. But it's like, if it wipes out just like nine industries at once and you have millions and millions of people who could work that just. There's no point for them to do it. It's like, what do you do? Like, what do you do then? And it's like, are they going to have to just like, invent weird, like, almost like fake jobs? Are people going to get paid just to kind of vibe out? I don't know. I'm personally kind of curious to see where it goes because it's like, you're not going to fight the AI stuff. Everyone's like, we're going to stop it. It's like, no, you're not. If it saves. Saves big corporations money, they're. It's coming. They're going to do that. Then it becomes like, what do you do? And I guess, like, you know. Yeah, it could get. Now that I think about it, it's like, well, yeah, maybe the billionaires will, like, give us some money. I'm like, well, they said, yeah, you think they will?

[Theo Von]

Well, that's what they've said is that they're. That they. People would get some sort of a stipend or some sort of a UBI Universal Basic Income or some sort of a token that they could use for things like, for. Which is crazy to hear, like Altman said this sort of shit.

[Matt McCusker]

There's a king then. So then we'd have kings, which again, if we go back to some like futuristic medieval, like serfs, lords, kings, knights. Could be chill. I don't know.

[Theo Von]

Again, I don't know.

[Matt McCusker]

There's probably people like, fudge.

[Theo Von]

You could be chill, though.

[Matt McCusker]

Could be chill, dude, you get to, like, wander. I get to just be in my garden, light fires and just kind of like, think about the glory of the king.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

King Sam Altman. King Altman cut my fucking head off

[Theo Von]

and he cuts your fucking ram down. He cuts your hard drive down to 30 megabytes a month. Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

No more questions about your garden. Sorry, my lord.

[Theo Von]

Dude, and then that. That thing comes through where you throw the dead people just on it. Like if your neighbor dies, Remember back in the. Like in the wheelbarrow, the dead part or whatever. Yeah, yeah, I. I think.

[Matt McCusker]

And this is my. Again, this is just.

[Theo Von]

He had my ear pods in his pocket. We put him on the dead cart.

[Matt McCusker]

This is me being humanity.

[Theo Von]

Check his pockets of that guy.

[Matt McCusker]

You gotta follow him on your device. Yeah. I feel like, you know, every society rises and then falls in a terrible cataclysm. That's like, there hasn't been one that's made it out of it yet. So, like, maybe it's like with COVID there was it. Covid was bad, but it also did kind of shake people out of that, like, dull, thoughtless malaise that so many people are trapped in just like a meaningless existence they kind of hate. So I'm hoping the AI shakes the cage enough where people can kind of come out of it, but then we don't all just like fall into, like complete chaos and start, like killing each other. Yeah. I think there's a sweet spot. So I'm hoping it kind of shakes it just a little bit. That makes sense. Yeah. So that's my hope. But it's like.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Then it's like, well, maybe the billionaires will be generous.

[Theo Von]

I'm like, to me, it feels like they. They want us poisoned enough. Right. It's obvious. There's so much that is poisonous.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Our water, fluoride makes people dumb. Like, if you have fluoride in your water, you're dumber.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Which is crazy, dude. But like, they want us to be dumb enough and like, not have any balls or want to do. And so you just are kind of like in this sort of wheel.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And you're comfortable in the wheel. And the amazing thing to me sometimes is how comfortable a lot of us are in the wheel, including myself.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

You're like, you know what, I could go out there and protest sometimes or I could do this or, you know, but I could just sit here and watch March Madness.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You know, just got some new master chips. I got some fucking good ranchers.

[Matt McCusker]

Nuggets are nice, bro. I love those things.

[Theo Von]

They're nice. If you eat too many of them, though.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it's a fucked up belly and.

[Theo Von]

And I don't need them anymore. I like. I had like six bags in a row or whatever. I can't have anymore.

[Matt McCusker]

No, you eat the whole bag and you're like, I say to pound beef tallow.

[Theo Von]

What's like having Jim when you're a kid or whatever, you can't have it anymore, you know, but it's like that for me. It just kind of burnt out.

[Matt McCusker]

The thing that I'm hopeful about is that like, you know, because if it becomes like. If money becomes a weird thing where it's like, there's UBI and like, you do have these, like, rich billionaire overlords. Like, money is the thing. If you have enough of it, it kind of like, you know, pumps up your ego to where you're like, yeah, I did it. I'm the man. I've always wondered if we could somehow trick, like, ultra rich, like, billionaire types into being like, no, the real Flex is like, like putting like 9 million people on, like, assistance and making, like, a cool future, peaceful village. And like, getting them to think like, yeah, that would be cool if I did that. You know what I mean?

[Theo Von]

Like, yeah, like, why wouldn't they do that?

[Matt McCusker]

You just have to make up their nerds. Like, so like Zuckerberg, you'd be like, dude. Instead of, like, attacking them, be like, dude, Actually Zuckerberg's super jacked and super tough and cool at jiu Jitsu and like, just like giving the nerds everyone like, yeah, we love you guys. And maybe they'll just, like, you know, use billions of dollars to terraform the earth into like a cool hobbit world. I don't know. Now. Now I'm just reaching.

[Theo Von]

Well, you start to wonder, is it autism that's out there?

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, we need to give them the we need. Yeah, exactly. I think you could be completely right.

[Theo Von]

Because. Because, yeah, to think that you'd have billions of dollars and other people don't have anything is pretty crazy.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, but that's, that's the thing, though, because it's like I think about that all the time and it's like, White

[Theo Von]

House turns down Elon Musk offer to pay TS agents during DHS shutdown. Why?

[Matt McCusker]

That. That thing was like, well, yeah, we can't pay the TSA guy. This is. I'm a single issue voter and it's wait times at airports currently, but it's like, dude, just take the TSA out of the there. Because they're trying to both pass these, like, big deals where it's like, well, we'll do the tsa, but you have to agree to this.

[Theo Von]

But they're doing those omnibus bills.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it's like, take TSA out of it. You guys can go, okay, let's fund tsa. Okay. Back to arguing about forever. It's. I. That's. It's just that pisses me off.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Musk, the CEO of Tesla Knowner with social media platform X said offer to pay the salaries on Saturday. I would like to offer to pay the salaries of TSA personnel during this funding impasse that is negatively affecting the lives of so many Americans at airports throughout the country. President Trump said money that he would love it if Musk paid the agent salaries. I think it's great, let him do that. The offer of Musk was also warmly received by lawmakers. But then this is, here's the problem

[Matt McCusker]

is no, I pay him.

[Theo Von]

Right. John Fetterman said the offer was incredibly generous in his response to the post. TSA agents across the country were relying on on food pantries and community donations just to get by. DHS officials told House lawmakers Wednesday that over 480 airport screeners have quit since the beginning of the shutdown and that the agency is expected to lose $1 billion in missed paychecks by the end of this week. Dude. Timothy Mellon, heir of Mellon banking Shout out Pittsburgh, donated $130 million to pay the military during a 43 day long government shutdown from October to November. But what's crazy is, is this could be a trap because then you're letting kind of X or, or Tesla become this privatized, you know, because now you're kind of privatizing airport security.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Whether you realize it a little bit or not, you're saying, okay, we'll let him pay these salaries. Then he comes in and says, well, how about this? Why don't I just, why don't Tesla just manage airport security? We could probably do it so much more efficiently.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And so that's this like I'm not, which I'm not saying would be bad. I'm just saying that's where things get kind of risky. A lot of times, like offers like that there's this kind of caveat of, of hopeful. That makes sense.

[Matt McCusker]

The line, dude, I didn't know this until recently. Public transportation in Chicago and like I think the late 1800s there's all public company or private companies. So like you would just own like, you know, whatever. Like if you're in New York, it was like, but it's Chicago. Like the L train. That was a guy who owned the L train. Everyone who paid tickets, all the money went to him. And there was another guy who owned the like the north side public. And they all, eventually the city came and was like, guys, give me this. That was like, that was like that for a while. It was, it was like incredibly competitive and corrupt and you'd have to lobby the government to like pass your thing and you pay people off. Then you just collected all the fairs personally. Didn't like, didn't even go to the city. So yeah, it's, that is a Tricky thing though, because they can, you know, then they can start doing their weird like, credit card. I mean, you don't get great customer service with government agencies.

[Theo Von]

Dude, have you been to the post office?

[Matt McCusker]

Post office is crazy, dude.

[Theo Von]

I was there a couple days. There was this. There was like this sister that was working in there. She's fighting with a bird that's in there trying to steal like a thing of tape or whatever. And I'm like, like in the little gift section area. I'm like, there's nobody else in there, dude. Wind going by is just unbelievable. There's an Asian dude, he peeked up out of the back for like a second. The guy with the mustache, the catfish looking. One of those package catfishes. He's just back there. He swims up to the door, peeks around just to make sure he's not. Nobody's looking for him, and fucking goes back into the fucking hiding behind the seven day certified mail. You'll never see him for like 40 more years.

[Matt McCusker]

He's just a hide for 40 more years.

[Theo Von]

Like, it's like he saw his own shadows. Like 11 more months of fucking being on the clock on the government's dime.

[Matt McCusker]

Post office is crazy, dude. I used to mail all of our merch. Like in the beginning, I would mail all of our merch personally. So I started going to the post office with just like boxes of like 45, 50, 60 shirts already wrapped up. And like, I got to know the people there pretty well. But it was like, at first I would just show up before they knew me. They'd be like, what are, what are you doing to us? And then they eventually gave me another address where I could just like drop it off at the like, hub. And they would just take them like a big thing at once and just throw them in the thing. But it was funny. Yeah, I used to get. I used to go there and they let me like come towards the back and dump it in.

[Theo Von]

Fuck. Yeah. It's kind of cool to see behind the scenes scenes.

[Matt McCusker]

It was cool, but it was just, it's very. It is like chill time. If there's a line at the post office, people are like, okay. It's like DMV mentality. You're like, yeah, whatever, man.

[Theo Von]

Don't care. They don't feel lines. No, you only feel lines on one side of the counter. The other side of the county, they don't feel that line.

[Matt McCusker]

No, it's not a restaurant where you're like, oh, people are gonna leave. You're just like, yeah, it go Use something else.

[Theo Von]

Public transit in Chicago shifted from private to public control in the mid 20th century centered on their creation of the Chicago Transit Authority, the CTA in the 1940s. The Illinois General assembly passes the Metropolitan Transit Authority Act 1945 when the CTA took over the big private rail and streetcar systems and effectively complete. Completed for city service in 1952 with the motor coach purchase. Yeah, anyway. Yeah, that's when it happened.

[Matt McCusker]

True.

[Theo Von]

I saw you've been doing some history pods.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, on my Patreon, I've been doing. I've been getting deep into like the Conquistador era. Like, like the Spaniards going first to like Yucatan in Mexico to like, you know, when they like when Cortez kind of took over the Aztecs. And then I. There's another guy who like navigated the Amazon river like later on and they like Bizarros took, took out the Incan empire. Those. Dude, that's. Those stories are like insane. And that's. I've like, I've talked to. I talked to the author who wrote both the books I was talking about and we're both agreeing. It's like, dude, that's a movie. I talked to this other guy about this too, where it's like the fact that there's no movie about that yet. It's insane because it is like, especially Cortez taking over the Aztecs. It's the craziest story because everyone's like, oh yeah, he showed up and like tricked Montezuma. Like they did do that, but it was like, it was like a multi year effort. They had like brutal battles. It was, it went on like forever. They were like inside Tennichitland, which is like the city of the Aztecs. Dude, that was like a brutal siege. They barely escaped. Had to come back and attack it again. It was absolutely, absolutely insane.

[Theo Von]

Were they bad people that they were attacking or they were just people that they wanted their land or. It was just like during that colonial

[Matt McCusker]

times, it was, it was a little bit of everything. It was definitely during the colonial times. The Spaniards definitely just wanted gold. They were like, yeah, you guys have gold? We're taking the.

[Theo Von]

Oh yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

Cortez wasn't even supposed to do it some. He was, he was sent by another guy, Velasquez, who was like, take this flotilla of ships because they're. They were in. I was it like Cuba maybe or somewhere. And they were like. He was like, I want you to scout this Mexico whatever place and you know, see if they have any gold or slaves and you know, bring Them back to me.

[Theo Von]

That's crazy, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude. So Cortez is, like, for sure. He was. Just. Took 13 ships and was like, that guy. I'm going on an expedition to con, to conquer. So he just. It was, like, completely illegal, you know. It was all, like, up. But he just was like, I'm doing my own thing. Like a. Like a pirate, basically.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's like when you bar, like, when your dad's like, hey, go fill my car with gas, but you take it to go see your girl.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, dude. For, like, the ultimate version, it's like if he gave you his fleet of, like, trucks, and you were like, yo, let's go. You know? And it was like, he just rolled up there with three, 300, 400 guys. And they just battled and just battled and, like, made alliance. That was the thing that helped them. They made so many alliances with different people that hated the Aztecs. And it was like, you know, everyone's like, the Spaniards, you know, they did some stuff that was obviously horrible. But the problem was, in, like, the Aztec times, it was all kind of like, Yucatan Peninsula, southern Mexico, up into, like, central people. And so you would just be in a village, and the Aztec chiefs would be like, yo, it's time for taxes. But their taxes were sacrifice victims. So they would come down and be like, give us, like, 30 people. So you'd be living together, and they'd be like, yeah, we're gonna chop you up. Chop you up. Let's go. And, like, they would just snag most of your babes, and you'd be like. So then Cortez comes, and they're like, yeah, I'll help you. Those guys up. So they all were, like, kind of against each other. And then, like, they. The thing that really kind of like, it's up. It'll make me laugh. They would befriend the natives there, and the natives would be like, oh, you guys seem cool. Want to see something cool that we like? And they would take them to one of these, like, religious temples, and it would just be like, a dog with its head bashed in, like little kids bones. They're like, yeah, we chop that dog's head off. And they'd be like, what the. What are you guys doing? What's wrong with you guys? So there was like, you know, and they say the Spaniards exaggerated a lot of the sacrifice. And. But it was, like. It was definitely the books. And, like, so they got there, and they were, like, greedily looking for gold. But then they'd be like, these guys Are chopping off kids heads and kicking them down the steps. They're like, these guys. That's kind of how they were thinking. These guys need Jesus. We're going to kill them and turn them into slaves and give them Jesus and take their gold and we're doing a good thing. So it was like, it was kind of up all around, honest, in my opinion, but, like, nobody knew, you know what I mean? Like, they didn't think it was bad.

[Theo Von]

So do you think, like, it kind of goes to an overall idea of like. Like, yeah. Do you think that, like, human existence is like a trial to see of, like, good versus evil or like. Like, I wonder what it is, you know, and. And then, you know, as things start to get weirder and stuff, then you start realizing, well, most countries always live under, like, some severe oppression.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

With no hope of, like, a lot of freedoms.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

With not even the ability to express themselves in some ways.

[Matt McCusker]

Oh, dude. Yeah, for sure.

[Theo Von]

Like, yeah. You start to realize that, like. I don't know, it's just. I don't know, I just. Yeah, you wonder, like, it. And then you start to think, well, how does this end? Like, does this end well? But then if that. If. If you had groups at that time, if you had Cortez traveling around and realizing, okay, we believe these are bad people. We need to bring them into some sort of enlightenment of understanding. Is that the right way? You know, it's just. I don't know.

[Matt McCusker]

No, dude, it's really tricky. And so they were legally. Also, they were legally bound. So you'd roll into a village and, like, you'd hope they're peaceful. Otherwise, you're just doing battle.

[Theo Von]

I think the first 10 minutes has got to be a tough.

[Matt McCusker]

Very tough. But luckily for them, they'd roll up, dude, they'd roll up in, like, on a horse. Which. First of all, the Aztecs, they would see a per. Any There was. The Mayans were there as well, but they would, like. They would see a dude in metal on a horse and think this was like some new type of being. They never saw. Yeah. They never saw someone riding a horse. So they thought the man and the horse just became like one weird creature. And they. They were like, what the. They would just come at you 30 miles an hour with a steel sword, and it's like. It was terrifying. And then like, cannon fires that, like, helped him out a lot. But, yeah, they just thought they were like, aliens. They didn't know what the. They were. They were like. And then, you know, they, like, killed A couple of the Spaniards and they're like, oh, we can kill these guys. And they, you know, munch them. So wow, let's munch them a little bit. But yeah, it was. Dude, History has been brutal and it is getting. Things do seem to be getting better overall. Like that dude. Dude, that's like rolling into a village, you're like, I'm hungry. I want some gold. You know, Cortez wouldn't. He would be like, nice enough. But then as soon as people started with him, he would like burn villages down, burn people alive. It's like brutal stuff.

[Theo Von]

That's a dude. That's a crazy mix. So I'm hungry. I want some gold.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, well, they would be starving. They would be walking, walking, walking. Like we don't have enough food. And you just see a village, you're like, we gotta go munch.

[Theo Von]

These guys are dude and bro. You think there was hot babes back then at that time?

[Matt McCusker]

For sure. Sure. Oh yeah, 100.

[Theo Von]

I mean, they're probably healthier babes.

[Matt McCusker]

Healthy, I mean. Yeah, true. I mean. But here's the thing though. It's like, it's all relative because like, you know, you're. These guys are all by the way like 21, 22. So you're a 22 year old Spanish guy in 1600s or you know, late 1500s. There's guys probably, they're on like legendary nofaps, all of them. They probably weren't like beating off every day to pornhub.

[Theo Von]

That's a great.

[Matt McCusker]

These guys are the chambers fully cocked.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So yeah, they were probably like any. They probably. And you know, there's obviously a lot of brutal rape and stuff going on. But like. But yeah, Cortez famously, in one of the battles they like the general handed him like, here's a bunch of women like blah, blah, blah. And one of them happened to be a former princess from like one of the chieftain or chiefdoms who then got sold into sex slavery by like, you know, a warring tribe who then got given to Cortez as like, you know, a sex slave. But she happened to be a princess Malinche who like was like, honestly one of the key figures who helped him translate all the languages so that he can move about. I don't know if he could have done it without her. It's pretty crazy.

[Theo Von]

Wow.

[Matt McCusker]

Maybe they became lovers. Man, they were like, they were thick as thieves. And Cortez had a wife the whole time living in Cuba. So when his wife. After he finally won, he finally wins over defeats the Aztec Empire takes it over himself. That's great, dude. His wife comes over to visit him. She's like, all right, this guy's been gone. I don't know where the hell he is. He's been gone for two years. Cortez has a. A child with his new babe, who, like, been through it all with him.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

And his wife shows up, kind of gives him an earful. Dude, he choked her to death. And he's just. That was just his baby. It was pretty brutal.

[Theo Von]

Damn.

[Matt McCusker]

It's pretty brutal.

[Theo Von]

Dude. That's a crazy love story.

[Matt McCusker]

It's, it's. It's the bizarrest love triangle.

[Theo Von]

But, dude, if your guy conquers a bunch of like that, you gotta chill. Kill the first week or something, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

You can't just be coming up.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. You can't get out the car mouth at all.

[Matt McCusker]

He literally. It was like a savage conquest. And it was like, you know, he's there with all of his bros and like, he was also. He had made this alliances with these other, like, you know, indigenous factions who, like, when they beat the Aztecs, finally, they all had a party the night of, and they're like, you know, the Spaniards is like drinking around, dude. These, like Aztec dudes were like, cutting off their enemy's skin and like walking around in it. And like, you're just all partying. They had like a brutal up, like, two day party that they all woke up from. And we're like, let's say mass right now. That was kind of wild. And then his wife came to visit, mouthed off, and he just killed her.

[Theo Von]

Damn.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, it's. That's a up story.

[Theo Von]

It is. Sorry, but it's kind of. It's the story that we keep living. It's this crazy like that, you know, you don't know who's supposed to be like, the righteous ones, who's supposed to win, what the whole thing is, who's doing things in the name of the right purpose. You know, you're trying to go off of some moral calculations that you feel like you have, but then we're all, like, immoral. We're all like broken people. So it's like. I don't know, man.

[Matt McCusker]

No, well, that's. That's the thing too. Like I said, I try to, like, you know, keep like at least an open mind to like. All right, well, even with Iran, it's like, say they do make a nuclear weapon and then they drop it on whoever. It's like, yeah, maybe they have to stop. I don't know. But it's like, but they're dropping.

[Theo Von]

They're not. They're not dropping them or they're just

[Matt McCusker]

going to use it to get like a seat at the table. I think that's what people do with nukes. You make them and you're like, all right, can we. We get at the big boy table now?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

All right, get in here. So, yeah, I don't know. You know what I mean? I have no idea.

[Theo Von]

That's got to be crazy. Now.

[Matt McCusker]

Do you also think we're feeling.

[Theo Von]

Do you also think, though, you can kind of see how, like, these mega lords and tech lords and like, like, they start to just sit around and they're like, they all got in a room like, dude, we're the. We own the world, right?

[Matt McCusker]

They have. There's no way they don't.

[Theo Von]

Dude, right?

[Matt McCusker]

You're 100, right?

[Theo Von]

And they'd be like, well, we should obviously make sure the world stays like this, that we own it. Let's keep everybody dumb. Let's keep doing this, and let's keep bossing out and drinking kid dick or whatever until we. We live forever, you know? Like, I just feel like there's gotta be. That has to be like. And then you. Because you start to wonder, how could people at a certain level get to that? But they must think, well, if I'm this fortunate, this must. God must want me to. You know, I'm saying, like, yeah, because if you have been so fortunate and you do have a religious beliefs and your ego gets involved, I could see how you could end up on that road for sure. God wants me to do things this way. And then you start justifying whatever you do or.

[Matt McCusker]

Or it's the opposite. And you have no religious convictions at all. And you go like, this is. It's just, you know, it's like the. Those people who look at the world where it's like, yeah, strongest person wins. The whole point of life is to be comfortable and, like, in a dominant position. And then like, there's people who have that. That's like genuinely their philosophy. So, like, yeah, I'll just leverage technology to gain more and more power to my advantage. And it's like, that shit's scary. Especially when they get into, like, the realistic possibility of becoming biologically immortal. And you're like, dude, like, I just want to grow my radishes, man. Just let me grow. Yeah, it's for. It is. It's freaked out, man. It is really freaked out. But it's also like, I don't think there's a lot of peace, though, if you, if you're like running some cybertronic war surveillance apparatus. I don't think those guys are chilling. I don't think they feel good.

[Theo Von]

I think some of them don't feel.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, that's, that's so.

[Theo Von]

That's the scary part is they don't have the thing.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, I think you're actually right about that.

[Theo Von]

Like, to them it's all a game. When they die, they just short circuit or. You know what I'm saying? They don't have like a lot of these people, it feels like don't have something.

[Matt McCusker]

No. Yeah, you could be right about that.

[Theo Von]

But. Yeah, man, I agree. It's like, get back to what can you control, right? So you make a garden, you go on a nice walk, you spend some time with your neighbors, you do things that feel good while you're alive. You know, we didn't create the world, we're just here in it. And yeah, I don't know, it's.

[Matt McCusker]

It's all cyclical too, man. It's like it'll. It's gonna rise and fall and you know, it's. Again. It's. The problem is it's like, yeah, hopefully this time, this isn't the time where like everything pops off and we all just get wiped out in a hot flash. It's like, that is. That's scary. But like, like what are you gonna like, run into the White House and just get like shot in the face by secret security? It's just like, you have to just chill. It's like nothing you can really do.

[Theo Von]

Let me see this. Steven Pinker argues that by most measurable indicators, violence, health, wealth, rights and knowledge, humans are doing better now than in any previous time. Even though it feels like things are getting worse. I don't fucking believe that guy.

[Matt McCusker]

Well, I mean, it's like, yeah, there's probably less kind of crime and like large scale violence. It's just, you just. It's problem is it's just the information you get. Get bombarded with just like all this horrible.

[Theo Von]

Right. And I think there's still like, you know, news outlets are. It's all. Everything is. I believe that this is. It depends on what you mean. If you don't care about existing and like feeling like you can grow as a human, then maybe. So I thought we were past some of this like old school colonial. We're just gonna, you know, you'd think we would get past that. That.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

But no, it's the same thing.

[Matt McCusker]

They're gonna, they did it With Iraq, they're gonna go, oh, there's like an existential threat. Like, try to think back on since.

[Theo Von]

But America knows it's not true. Now we know it's not true. The problem and it's not our. Nobody's upset at our soldiers or anything like that. It's just the people putting them out there in harm's way. And to think about that, well, it's

[Matt McCusker]

like, dude, think about a time there hasn't been a giant looming existential threat overhead.

[Theo Von]

I know.

[Matt McCusker]

Since like literally the atom bomb. It was like terrorism was the big one. And that was like the Iraq War, you know, back in, like, when I. Before that, it was just like Fox News. My parents would watch it. It would just be like crime in the city. It'd be like, the inner cities are out of control. They're gonna come kill you always. And then it was just like, terrorists are gonna come kill you.

[Theo Von]

Remember they threw that there in the middle.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, yeah. Then there was unsolved mystery. Unsolved mysteries was good, though.

[Theo Von]

I like, it was banging. Maybe you helped solve a mystery. And do we go outside and I'm looking for missing people in our area? We're like, are you Rebecca Owens?

[Matt McCusker]

Sadly, I never stepped up to the plate. I was a passive of unsolved mysteries. I never even tried. I, I kind of, I feel bad about that.

[Theo Von]

I used to collect all those 1 800, the missing cards and ones that came in the mail. Yeah. And I would look at those.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm like, cool, that's good.

[Theo Von]

I was all. Felt like I was like. Because I always wanted to find somebody that was missing or always wanted to find like a dead body or something.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, Yeah. I was just talking to a guy today. He does a for a living. I had him on my show for a living. He goes into bank owned foreclosures. And his job is to like assess what bad. How bad of a condition it's in. And he's been multiple times come in just a dead body.

[Theo Von]

Wow.

[Matt McCusker]

And he said you just got to like, kind of, you know, you got to like give it a, you know, respectful nudge. And then you call if, like call the cops or whatever, come get it.

[Theo Von]

You think the first time you nudge, you nudge light. And then after a while you get a little tough. Like the fourth and fifth time, you just give it a. I think you

[Matt McCusker]

give it two solid. Just like a hard knock. Just two. You got to make sure. Just give it one. And then just like in case it's waking up, then no Response, you're like, yeah, it's a dead person. I'm in the house with the dead person by myself, and I got to call the cops.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, they must have had to get exterminated around. Dude, there you go, right there. Dude, is that J Rod the electrician? Shout out JRod the electrician. Dude, if you haven't followed that guy's journey, it's the best. But, yeah, having a garden, doing things that build your own life up, they give you purpose, right? That's the thing. Let me do something with my kids. Let me look at this dead rat, or, you know what I'm saying?

[Matt McCusker]

But let me check out this dead rat space.

[Theo Von]

Let me start a history podcast. Let me learn about journeys that were before me. You know, just. I think we have to start to create our own senses of purpose. We have to find new ones in our lives.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah, man, I think that. I totally agree. And it's like, you know, I just. For me, it's just like. Like, I'm weary of the news apparatus, information. Whenever I find myself getting angry, you know, it's. Again, it's just like, I just have to ask myself, like, am I getting pulled into some weird thing? And I try to just, like, you know, I guess it sounds like a cop out, but, like, stay out of that as much as possible. Like, what can I do? It's like, I'll try to make people laugh if I can, and just make like, you know, some vaguely entertaining and some fashion stuff. And then, yeah, just try to conduct myself and, like, tend to the stuff around me, because it's like, I don't know what the hell's going on. It's like, I. I don't, you know, I have no idea. I can. I can surmise and guess, and I think I have, you know, idea, but it's like, I don't know. So, yeah, I'd just be like, look, man, that's. If someone calls me to ask me to help with the situation, I'll try to do what I can. But it's like. It's just, you know, you're almost like. Sometimes I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels or just like, I'm getting, like, kind of worked over a little bit to where it's like, man, these guys, they're in my head right now, and I'm, you know, that's. That's, like, dangerous, man. Especially when you get, like, collective anger. You just. You can move that stuff around and, like, people, you can do stuff with it. It's like, I'M always kind of weary where I'm like, I don't know, man.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that's part of the trap too. You start to realize, well, this is part of the trap. They want us to be upset.

[Matt McCusker]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

There's a reason why they have all this information that's out there. So much of it is still under control. That there's a reason why this little bit and this got leaked and it's like, yeah, I don't know. Being alive is interesting, man. I will say it gets more and more interesting.

[Matt McCusker]

It does. I. I agree. The older you get. I think it does get more and more interesting. For sure. I. I like, I like getting older. A lot of people are always like, oh, man, this sucks. I'm like, bro, I like, I'm excited to be 50, dude. Like, this is gonna be awesome.

[Theo Von]

You just got 40, man.

[Matt McCusker]

I know. I'm gonna be 40. I'm gonna chill and be 40. But it's like, I don't have the. I think it's cool. I don't know. Something about getting older is like, everyone. I guess when you start hurting all over, that probably sucks, but I kind of. I dig it. I like getting older. Getting gray. I want to get. I want to look like old as fuck as fast as possible. It's my goal right now.

[Theo Von]

Really.

[Matt McCusker]

Me, I'm trying to age Max.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Yeah. That's dope, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

This is a dye job, by the way. I'm like jet black normally.

[Theo Von]

Is it really? No, no, no.

[Matt McCusker]

I'm really stressed out.

[Theo Von]

Well, dude, thanks for coming in and chatting with us, bro.

[Matt McCusker]

Dude, for sure.

[Theo Von]

Thanks. Upcoming dates, the Fitzgerald theater for Matt McCusker, uh, Hoyt Sherman, Play Place, Des Moines, St. Paul, Phoenix, Tucson. Phoenix and Tucson, man. You guys got to show up. Toronto. Oh, the Elgin's a cool spot, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Toronto's been good. I'm happy with Toronto and Chicago.

[Theo Von]

Let's go.

[Matt McCusker]

That's my. I'm stoked on that. Dude. Thank you for that.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude, thanks for. And I gotta come and do you. You guys a show again when I'm back in town.

[Matt McCusker]

Please, please do. That'd be awesome.

[Theo Von]

Next time it's. We gotta come and do. We did that one last time with Lemaire.

[Matt McCusker]

It's awesome, dude. Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Or whatever.

[Matt McCusker]

Blonkeys was great. That was. I think that might have been an all time episode. For real.

[Theo Von]

It was awesome. Yeah, dude, it's fun when you sit down, so. Thank you, bro. I appreciate it. Yep. Tell Brittany thanks for inviting me to the party.

[Matt McCusker]

For sure.

[Theo Von]

It Was a good time.

[Matt McCusker]

Thanks for coming, dude.

[Theo Von]

It was great. I'm glad I got to see you and just be there for you. So many people love you. It's so many. It's so funny. You're like the one guy when you say something like, oh, man, he's a great guy. It's almost like he was your dad. But they say that about you while you were alive. It is kind of up. Like, God, if you were here right now, we would high dog him.

[Matt McCusker]

He was a great guy. It's nice to be getting eulogized just like, yeah, he was a great guy.

[Theo Von]

When you get living eulogies, dude, I think you're doing a good job, man. Thanks for all your service to humanity, dude. And Matt and Shane's secret podcast and what's the new history podcast called?

[Matt McCusker]

It's just on our patreon. Yeah, we just. That's just a thing I do on our Patreon. Shane was to going and filming. So I had to, like, I had to just read books. I had to rely on, like, cool books, you know, that was. That was kind of mood, but it was. It was like, I can't just make up stuff to talk about.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Matt McCusker]

So, yeah, I just had the books. Yeah, man.

[Theo Von]

Thanks, bro. Thank you for everything, dude. Good to see you, dude.

[Matt McCusker]

Appreciate it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, man. Thank you.

[Matt McCusker]

Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be correct oh but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones but it's gonna take.