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- [00:00]
Theo Von
Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of angie. When you use Angie for your home projects, you know all your jobs will be done well, from roof repair to emergency plumbing and more done well. So the next time you have a home project, leave it to the pros. Get started@angie.com. all right. Good day. Good day. How are you? How are you? How are I. How are. How are us? Good to see everyone. Good to be here with you. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy November. Happy existence. You know, that's something as well. This year went, baby, this year. That thing is. This year was just hooked to a dang laser beam. I feel like. What was that? You almost had to slow down the film to even remember the summer. It was just. This thing was just a. This took the HOV lane this year. Life got roller skates on. Life's got just roller skates on that. I couldn't even. I couldn't even make an accurate police report on, on. On April. I couldn't tell you what she looked like, what she was wearing. The officer like. Well, you can tell me, April. Tell me, you know, how tall. I don't know. Damn it. It just all went so fast, you know, in. I don't know if it's just that life feels faster now, but you can't even get your hands on it. I mean, it's like just trying to grab sand. You can get some of it, but then it just. It ends up just. You just. You just realizing you can't get it. You can't get that grip on it. Boy, it's like trying to just do a. What's it called? The guy you go to and you go in his shop or whatever, and it's. He pretends like he has a secretary or whatever, but he doesn't. And then you go in there and he lays you down and he, like, he asks you like a question or something, but you're so nervous that you're going to get touched or whatever. But what is that? Dang it. Chiropractor. It's like trying to be a chiropractor on sand. You know, you just. You can't move it. You can't control. You just. You think you can, and then there's nothing. Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm just saying it's been a long year and I'm happy to be here with you today. And. Yeah, just. Thank you guys for just your patience on doing solo episodes. I wanted to tape this yesterday, but I just. My. I was just so damn rattled. You ever wake up and you're just damn rattled. I mean, it's just like a couple pigeons are just living in your ass. You're just like, what in the hell? And everything's a prop. Somebody, you know, somebody comes to the door and they just, you know, this guy came to the door and he was offering pest control or whatever. And I'm like, you know, I, I think they just came because I think I have like 11 pest control guys because I, you know, I forget. And then next thing you know, hell, I'll be in my living room reading a book. And one I'm will just. Damn. Just. We'll just spray for. We'll just spray for lice right in front of me. He'll spray for lice right across my damn forehead. Sometimes because I forget, you know, I always forget when they're going to be here. You, you have that one afternoon, you're doing a cook off and they show up with those, with those, those chigger grenades or whatever and they're humming those bitches. You know, when your family's out there, you trying to put mustard on something, and the baby's got damn bug gas in his eyes. It's just. I just forget. Anyway, the guy came and he had just. The bug guy, he's like, you know, we can come, we can come 17 times a year. That's what he said. And I was like, dude, I don't want. When I get married, I don't want my wife coming here 17 times a year, you know, so that's not a sales tactic. I wanted to hear, but. But the guy had the biggest mustache I'd ever seen in my life. And the only thing I could think the whole time he's talking to me is, you need to go spray up in that bitch. Cause there ain't, there is not a chance in hell you're not running some kind of damn bug motel right up under your snout. Daddy, there ain't a CNH baby shots in hell. You ain't got a couple of word lice running around up in that, in that, up in that trap house. You got above your lip, daddy. So it just, you know, I said, you know, I said, I think I. We're good. You know, we got guys. I got seven guys spraying right now. You know, I could barely talk to the guy. Some guy was spraying right in front of me. But yeah, just everything's happened so far. I just get confused. Everything's happened so fast. And. And here we are, and it's November and it's. It's like that and I'M sure it's like that for everybody. It's like, okay, some of you, your kid is a. You know, your kid is age has been a. Is aged this year. Like, man, I can't believe it. You know, Genevieve's four now or your dad is it. Got to get a hip. Got to get a new hip or new neck or whatever you're like now it's already time. Next week Ricky's getting that new neck. You know, it's just things happen fast, you know, man, it was only seven months ago that we laid my grandmother to rest. You know, just. It's just all these things and life just keeps life and you know, and it's just. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot for everybody and it's marvelous at the same time. It is existence. That's what it is. But I'm grateful to be here with you guys today and just grateful to be taking a moment to think about our lives and what they've been like. I. I want to say thanks. We. It has been a while since we've had a solo episode. I'm still going to try to do more. I'm. I'm finally having a little more time to start to take care of myself right now. And so that's feeling really good just to be able to relax some. What's going on? We had some shows in a lot of places. Thank you guys. That came out out there. We just got off the road out in the Midwest, baby. Oh, we did it out there on OSU campus. Grand Rapids, Michigan, baby. Let's go all over. We went up to. Where else? Oh, up in Montana. The. I think I do owe a little bit of maybe an apology to. What's that place called? It's like a place where they have people. Oh, Chicago State? No, it's Colorado State. Colorado Springs. I may owe us just Colorado Springs and Casper, Wyoming. When I got there, I was dehydrated, man. I mean I was just. I mean you could hear my eyes open, you know, I opened my eyes and they. You could just like it was loud, you know. You know, like somebody just hard art around, you know. I saw a cat look over at me like somebody just been hard ring at it and it was just how so dried out the weather there. It just. The wind up there is nasty up there. The wind. It'll. You open your eyes for a second, the wind will get in there and clean them out. Next thing you eat is. I was having to lick my hand and rub it into my eyes, spitting in my hand and rubbing into my eyes. And, you know, you're looking at everybody through damn spit eyes or whatever. And the ladies, they're like, oh, look at this little bitch with his damn spit eyes. Oh, honky got them spit eyes. But I was just dry as hell. Even the animals up there are dry. You see a damn animal up there, a dog up there. Casper, Wyoming. That thing up there just. He just somebody. You. You write water on the ground and a dog come lick on the word people things. Thirsty as hell up there. I saw a plant. It had grown up my leg and was trying to drink out of my. I had me a little canteen. I saw a VOD stood somewhere for 30 seconds. A vine grew up my leg, and it had opened the top of my canteen. Yet now everything's thirsty as hell up there. My. Yeah, it just. It was super dry. It was dry, and I just wasn't ready for it. I was so dry could be like. I don't know. I can't even explain it to you. You know, I definitely did my best, but they gave you oxygen tanks. And I'm like, but the. All the oxygen tank is just a can of. Just more dry. So you hit that bitch. And now you're just everything. Even the animals, they would sound like they were dried out. Like they had a cow. One cow. I saw them like, what he's like, but he was so dry. So that was just a. But beautiful country, beautiful place. I just. I was shocked at how dehydrated I got IVs up there. It just took me a little bit to get on my feet, man. It was a lot. That was like, probably one of the more hectic times that I'd had this year. Just health. Healthness, you know, and being alive and being like that. I went out to Montana, but all that area. Colorado Springs. And thank you for everybody coming out and. And Casper. I can't even believe it. I mean, we're Montana. Wow. That whole. All of those regions, I mean, that's where mother nature just. Just tries on her clothes up there. Baby is beautiful. Everything you see is beautiful. You know, it's just. It's remarkable. So to even get to go to that part of the country that people came out. Thank you guys so much to all the places that we went, man. I got to go to lacrosse, Wisconsin, and it's. It's. It's one of the greatest little city town places I've been. I didn't. Man, you always. I think of some people in your head, you have ideas of a Place that's kind of perfect, you know, and they got, you know, somebody's walking their kid home from school or whatever, and the kids just got a bunch of snot on his face or whatever, but the parent leaves it just, you know, because there's something kind of beautiful about it, you know, Especially when you were poor, dude, if your nose was running, I'd let that bitch fly cut. Because people are always looking at you when you poor people always look at you like you ain't got nothing. And that's when. When my nose was running, I'd be like, oh, yeah, I got this. I got this. Not. So there is something very beautiful about that. But we were. We were there in La Crosse or. La Crosse, they say it, or a lot of gay dudes are. They say it like, hey, I'm in lacrosse. But just beautiful. I mean, just to get to see some of America, man, and to get to see a lot of you folks. And we try to do some meet and greets after the shows and just. We did everything that we could. I promise you that. So thank you guys so much for the support. And, yeah, Thanksgiving's just coming in. Trevin, how are you feeling today?
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Trevin
I'm good, man. A little chilly.
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Theo Von
Oh, yeah, it's brisk out, huh?
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Trevin
That's for sure.
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Theo Von
And you think it's going to get worse this year? What are they saying there? And if you're looking at the diameter or whatever, the air diet or the. The weather, what are they saying?
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Trevin
Yeah, the weather. Yeah, about the same. Gonna get a lot colder, man.
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Theo Von
God.
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Trevin
Get ready.
- [14:25]
Theo Von
Blm, baby. Burr lives matter, son. It's gonna get brisk out. What else has been going on? Oh, I'll tell you, you know what? Something that was, I thought was really special. That was I got to be around or be a part of or be around really. So snl, Saturday Night Live was going on, and Bill Burr was going to be on it, you know, and. And Bill Burr is. There's nobody like him. There's not. I mean, there's nobody like him. He is. He is himself, and he is one of one. And I wanted to go see. I'd never been to snl. I'd never been over there and seen it, you know, and so myself, who came with me, oh, my buddy Kevin and. And John Farley was there, and that's Chris Farley's brother. And. And it was just like, man, to be at snl, you know, where Chris Farley and Spade and kneeling and carvey and all of the, like, rock Sam Just all these wizards of, you know, possibility. You know, Sherry O. Terry, who's the lady that puts her. She's always taking her own temperature or whatever and smelling it. Who's that lady? Her. She. You know, just. Just to be at snl Saturday Night Live, to be on that stage, just to be at. They are watching. And. And. And John Farley was there, Chris Farley's brother. And it was the first time he said that he'd been back there since his. Since he'd been there with Chris. And that was just. I don't know, it was just like. It just. It was just kind of. It felt special, you know, because I just can't imagine that. I can't imagine having a brother that is, you know, so. Well, first of all, it's your brother, so they're very important to you. But then also they're such a entertainer. And then you go back to the place where they. One of the places that they're most known from, you know, and. Yeah, that was just. It was magnificent, man, just to be able to be there with him. And he told so many stories, and I was kind of bummed that they didn't bring him out on the stage and let him tell a story out there at snl. He. The stories he was telling backstage were better than half of the things that were happening on the tube, I thought. I mean. But also, that's, you know, I bet it was just crazy to hear a guy talk about, you know, his brother Chris Farley, and all the. These little moments that they'd had backstage and just these funny things. And here, I'll say this. When it. When it came down to listening to him or watching some of the sketches, I couldn't help but listen to some of the things that he was saying, because it was. Yeah, it just was like walking through time and walking through time that really meant something, you know, time between brothers. And so, yeah, that was pretty exceptional. But, yeah, I was like, SNL should have had him out there, like, bring. This guy's. The first time he's been back since his brother. It's like the closest Chris Farley will get to being there. And, yeah, it was just. I don't know. So I. But that was. It was great. I'm not trying to tell, you know, I don't know, talking too much or whatever. I don't know, but, yeah, that. It was just. It was. That was something neat to be a part of and what else? I went with my butt. My friend has a son and. And we took him to the swing set. And then what else is going on? Oh, I watched the cmas Country Music Awards the other night because I'm, you know, I live in Nashville, and so you have to watch it or you people won't look you in the eyes for the. For the next year. And so, you know, I was checking it out and Caleb Presley was on there doing presentation. Laney Wilson was on there. So it's like, you know, I got a peep it. I wanted to see if Jesse Murph was going to be there. Jelly Roll was there. That whole gang, baby. Jelly Roll, Yellow Wolf, I think they had damn Jelly Wolf there. And it's just a. That. That is just a Saint Bernard with a couple face tats on him, you know, but that whole, like, musically recovering honky vibe, you know, that's really powerful. And Yellow Roll, I saw them Yellow Roll and it was. Bobby Lee was there, so it's just, you know. Yeah, he's doing music now, so it just, you know, it's just. There's a. Anyway, it was a very diverse group over there, and. What am I talking about? Damn it. Oh. But I watched because I wanted to see if Red Clay Strays were going to win. They were up for vocal group, which. What does that even mean? Kind of. It's all music, you know, but they didn't win. Old Dominion won it, right? And Dominion, no disrespect, right? I haven't heard a lot of. You know, I don't think. First of all, if you look at Old Dominion, they. Dominion is a brother's name. And it's, you know, show me 30 dominions and I'll show you, you know, how to get. How to get to Memphis. You know what I'm saying, bro? It's like, let's be realistic, baby. That's Elvis's neighbors, homie. Okay, so, and so that was the way I'm like, damn. They don't even. Somebody's hiding. They're hiding. They're hiding a brother amongst the four or five of the guys that they have in the group or whatever. But yeah, I just wanted to see Ray Clay Strays win. And I thought it was just a chance for see, you know, CMA is like, here you have a vibe that, you know. And no disrespect to. To od, baby, but you have a VI reclay. Strays, they. They sing. They sing prayers, man. They sing things that I can't. They sing prayers that I can't even make. That I can't even make the words. Who they sing those, and I just feel like that's part of such a movement. And so, yeah, I think I really wanted them to win that award. But also then Red Clay Strays. Are they a country group? And you could argue that it's all of it. Are they gospel? You know, I mean, they're music. And it doesn't need a space to fit in. You know, you don't need to put every foot in a shoe. But it's like, well, yeah, what are they? But it's a lot of. It's a lot of vibrant prayer. I feel like coming out of those boys. And I'm partisan as well, or partisan or whatever. Anyway, that's some of the stuff that's been going on recently and a lot more. Some of it I can't remember, but yeah, or just CMAs. I felt like they had a chance to pull some new blood in there and. And I just didn't see that, you know, But. But what do I know? I don't know. You know, I'm just allowed honky overha. That's all I am. What else? Grand Rapids. Beautiful place. Beautiful place, man. Just. Yeah, just to see a lot of places where people are just thriving and people are saying, hey, this is our community and we're going to keep it like it is, man. That's something that. That really felt great to witness. Well, now it's that holiday season. It's time for family and food and, let's be honest, a little bit of chaos. But hopefully the most chaotic thing that happens this year is you slurping down a little bit of oyster dressing. However, if things don't go as planned, like a holiday mishap that leaves you seriously hurt, your injury could be worth millions. Talking about Morgan and Morgan, they have your back, even if it's in a back brace. We hope you don't need them, but if you ever do, they're the guys that fight for the people. Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 1,000 lawyers. With over $20 billion recovered for over 500,000 clients, Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to for the people dot com this past weekend or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone. That's F O R the people dot com this past weekend, or pound law pound 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. What else? It's Thanksgiving, guys. That's what it is. You know, and that's the week it is. And, and it's a time, you know, Thanksgiving, it's. It's wild that our. That our calendar, that even, even our calendar, right, our setup, our framework, our time based framework for our society and for civilization has a stop time in it to give thanks. It's interesting that even time says, hey, hold on, I need you to give some thanks. I need you to. You have to have some gratitude here, you know, And I think that, that, to me, that's pretty fascinating that that is a speed bump that's been put into our calendar. It's just built in there, you know, it's a comma that says, hey, care, right? Care about the things that have happened to you. You know, find things to have gratitude for. And see, I want to think about those today and just things that I'm thankful for. I'm thankful. Yeah, being able to whisper, that's a big one. I'm so thankful for that because otherwise everybody in your family would just wouldn't know how you felt about them. So I'm just so thankful that, that God lets us whisper, you know, I'm thankful for my family. You know, I'm thankful that my sister makes me laugh a lot and that she likes to laugh. I like listening to her laugh sometimes she's ridiculous and that makes me laugh. I'm thankful my nephew talks to me, you know, I wish he kind of hit my line more, but I guess he's busy or whatever. Sure, whatever, dude. But he's a child, you know? And it's like, I just got to be an adult and just. Just take care of myself. But, oh, I'm thankful that urine isn't hotter than it is when it comes out of your body. That would be. That would. That would be crazy, bro. If you were, you know, if it. Urine just came out, like even 10 degrees hotter, bro, because you'd go in the bathroom and they'd have one dude in there about to urinate and everybody else would be supporting him. And like, you. Come on, Richard. Come on, Richard. Blast that shit, homie. And he's like, it's gonna hurt. Like, shut the up, Richard. Piss bitch. And people were like, whoa, chill out, dude. He's. It's hot. You know, and people. And then there'd be a gay dude just kind of holding his back for no reason, just. Or even pushing on his butt. That's the weird thing, dude. If you're doing a group piss, right? And everybody's support supporting one guy who has to piss. And the dude that's pushing up on the dude's on the guy's butt. That guy is not just trying to be helpful. I know that boy. So, yeah, I'm grateful that PP is at that. Or urine or whatever they want to call it is at a manageable temperature. That's a big one. I'm grateful that God. That God lets me try, you know, I'm grateful that God lets me try, you know, that every single thing isn't final. Yeah, I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful that. That my arms are, you know, they're not the best. I think they're not the best length. I got. I got medium length arms, but I know that they're good enough to hug. Good enough. I wouldn't win a hug title or whatever. I don't know if there is a title. Yeah. What else? Let me think. I'll think about some things throughout the show, throughout the episode today. Things that I'm thankful for, man. I'm thankful that I have some shoes on right now. Yeah, I'm thank. Yeah, I'll keep thinking about it, but let's get into some calls, man. You guys have been hitting the hotline and. And I haven't been there, but I just want to thank you for hitting it. And as always, the hotline is 985-664-9503. And let's get to a call right here. Here we go.
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Caller 1
Theo, I just was. Want to get your thoughts. 28, this guy, Navy. I live in Orange County, California, and.
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Theo Von
Thank you for your service, brother. We appreciate you. Onward.
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Caller 1
It's tough making friends as an adult. My whole life, I've always ended up with black friends. I play basketball and Navy. Out of 200 white guys, five black guys, I end up being friends with the black guy. But I want some white friends or like Asian friends. Just wanted your advice. Like, how does that happen? Or do I just stick with this? Hey, that's. This is how it is. Like, black friends are my thing.
- [29:23]
Theo Von
No, brother, I don't think that, you know, I don't think. I think you. You can get all types of friends. That is for sure, man. You know, I think, you know, basketball is a gateway drug to just to brother. IFIC type. Go out into your neighborhood right now, dribble a basketball in the street, see if a couple brothers don't show up. You know, that's. That just. You hear a basketball banging on that street, That's a. That's the Michael Jordan mating call cup. You know, that's how it is, Mike. You put a rim up anywhere and you gonna get some black friends, man. That's not a racial thing. That's just facts. You put a basketball rim up anywhere and you going to have some brothers show up. You put that bitch up in the ocean, you will have. You have a couple. Couple wet brothers out there just double drowning out there. So you got. You have to think if you want to get different types of folks, you have to put out different types of activities, you know? So if you want to get more Asian friends, you might want to do a Asian people like hide and go seek. That's easy, man. You know, and that's wild, bro. You know, look at an Asian. Look at any resting or sitting Asian, resting Asian or a, you know, AAR's or whatever. Asians at rest. Look at. Look at one. Bring up a couple, right? Go to any of these folks and say, you keep counting, I'll go hide. Because Asians got that clock in them, dog. So that's something you could do to meet some Asians right there, man. And also, it's okay to be a white guy that has black friends. That's a. You know. And I know you're not saying there's anything wrong with it, but, you know, they had. And when I was, you know, when I was getting into life or whatever, they had a lot of wiggas out there and no cap, bro. Wiggas used to be the thing, bro. You know, Thomas Jefferson was a wig, bro. Real talk. And people don't want to, you know, People don't want to say that shit, but he was, man. But now they got blockies even. They got blockies out there. You got a lot of black dudes that want to be whiter, you know, are having white. More white stuff go on in them, you know. I mean, I saw a brother crying in his car the other day outside of a Jimmy John's. That's the whitest shit you could do. That's our shit. So it's all good. What I'm saying is the portal is always open, guys. There's no nil money to have a new friendship in another ethnicity, man. That is we, you know, we're all bound to be beige in a couple generations anyway. So right now, if you want to meet someone of a color or of a ethnicity, then now is the time, baby bear. Because in two, three generations, everybody going to be beige. Mauve off mauve, you know, cookies and crumb. People gonna be all batched out and Jeanette modified or whatever. You will have a Monsanto taupe, friend. You won't have an off brown, white bottom speckled trout, Korean, Mexican, black lady. You're gonna have it all, man. So if you want to enjoy specific ethnicities now, now is the time to do it. Because genetically, we're all heading to one color. We're going to be just one little off brown, semi white, matte finish gray, baby bear of Christ, brother. Praise God, man. What else do we have? Let's take another call right here. Here we go.
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Maria Gillen
Hi, Theo. Me and my family want to invite you to our Thanksgiving dinner. This is Maria Gillen. It will be up in Gallatin, Tennessee.
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Theo Von
Oh, up in Gallatin. All right. Thank you for the invite there.
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Maria Gillen
And we think you could fit in really well with our family. And you would just bring about the conversation. And I think it's gonna be some really good food. I can whip up some really good mashed potatoes, so. Oh, and I'm making a pasta that's really good. Anyways.
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Theo Von
Okay. Yeah, y'all them carb dogs up there. All right. That's beautiful. I cannot make it. I appreciate it, though. Very sweet of you. I am. You know what? Here, I'll call you and tell you I can't make it. See if this works.
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Maria Gillen
Your call has been forwarded to an.
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Theo Von
Automatic voice message system.
- [34:39]
Maria Gillen
Is not available.
- [34:41]
Theo Von
At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press 1 for more options. What's up, you little potato maiden? How are y'all over there? This is Theo. I'm just calling you back. I want to let you know that I can't make it over there for the Thanksgiving up there in Gallatin. But I appreciate it and hope you guys have a wonderful time up there. And just thanks for thinking of me and thanks for inviting me. I was very nice of you. And. Yeah, that's about it. All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna go now. Yeah, I'm heading. I'm going down to Lafayette, Louisiana, baby. Dustin Poirier. You know, they every year, they. They, they. They put cooking utensils into his. Into his fighting gloves. And he gets out there and he'll beat up a damn meal for your son. Everything he serves, you got a black eye. The black eyed peas got two black eyes, bro. You like? Dang. Some of them had broken on them. Look, I didn't know even no peas had ribs, you know, he'll give you a little turkey leg or something. And it's in a cast. He beating the. Out of everything, bro. Turkey neck in a neck brace, he. That's how he does it, bro. He beat the eggs with his own hands, bro. I see him. You'll see him in the yard out there. He got on his fighting trunks into some. He just, you know, just putting a bunch of hand action into a damn mixing bowl, you know. That's just crazy, man. I never seen anybody do it like that. You'll see him out there, fucking calf kicking a rump roast, bro. It's. You're like, what is going on? But that's where I'll be, man. That's become a little tradition for me, and I'm. It's a blessing. I'm excited about it. And then we have a large show down there. It might be our largest show ever over at the Cajun Dome in Lafayette, Louisiana. And grateful to be from over there. Just got my mother a home over in Baton Rouge. My mom just moved back home, so when we got her a house over there. And I'm just grateful to that. Thank you, guys for the support over the years. And she hasn't complained about it yet, which is just damn unreal. So what else? Let's take another call. What are you thankful for, Trevin? You got anything that pops into your head, brother?
- [37:09]
Trevin
Oh, every day, bro. Thankful to wake up. Thankful to, you know, have a job. Thankful mostly for my, you know, beautiful wife. Shout out to Gabby and. Oh, our family and. Yeah, the health.
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Theo Von
Yeah, that's it. That really is true, huh? Having some health, man. Yeah, and taking care of it, too. That's another thing. Because I'll take, man. I'll take something for granted in a heartbeat. I'll take my heartbeat for granted in a heartbeat. That's crazy. Oh, something else going on out in the world today. What else? We got a call that came in right here from Tennessee. Hey, Michael, I just want to say I've been thinking about turkey and ham. We didn't have ham at Thanksgiving because.
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Caller 2
Apparently Pam's a Christmas thing, and I love honey, him.
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Theo Von
And all they had was turkey. Turkey's dry and bland to no honey.
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Caller 2
So I didn't with it. So I just want your opinion.
- [38:17]
Theo Von
Okay, brother, I see you there. I see you having a lot of feelings about it. Yeah. Turkey or ham? Well, ham. Ham. Ham is ham. You know, ham, it just. It gets home and it's like, where's your mother? You know, that's ham. But turkey, Turkey, turkey. Turkey's a little more risky, I think. You know, It's a little. It's a little more perverted, I think. Low key, bro. Turkey, you know, it's like, what you want to do to me? Want to put me in a sandwich? Want to put me in the fridge? You want me now? You want me left over? What do you want? So turkey kind of looking at you like that, I feel like ham looks like it's been smoking or whatever. Like, all right, that. You know, it'll party, but it's, you know. You know, it's gonna. It can't. It won't be able to drive itself home. Ham, you know, but tur. Because it drinks. Ham drinks. Ham drinks. But turkey is like. It could be anywhere. It could be Turkey. Turkey. You'll see. You'll. You'll see turkey in a high heel. You'll see turkey in a high heel. That bit, you know, so that's how I feel, I guess, about that. What else? Got a couple more calls that came in here. Oh, here's a news story right here. Police find two kilogram garden gnome made entirely of mdma. Wow. Yeah, that's it, man. That's how it is now, baby, Baby, they got aliens in the ocean. They got MDMA in the garden gnomes. Okay? Tape your eyelids to your ass cheeks, homie. And stay alert because they raping everybody out here. Praise God, baby. What else do we have? We got another call came in right here. Here we go. Stay home for Christmas.
- [40:47]
Caller 1
Yo, Theo, it's Harley from Portland, Oregon, man.
- [40:50]
Theo Von
What's up? Harley? And. Had a great time up there. We did a show out there in Portland, which is a great city. Let me say that. People are always like, there's antifas up there, you know. You know, larping in the park. It's just a bunch of leftover antifa and BLM activists and people, you know, adults wearing baby diapers up there, larping in the park and sword fighting and doing makeshift Renaissance fairs up there and shit. And damn George Foreman grilling every meal and. But I thought it was an amazing city. I never. I just hadn't. It was just. It really shocked me how. How special it was. Yeah, there's a naked guy pushing himself, you know, pushing himself in a. You know, and he's like. You know, has a boat or. And he's going down the street in a. A adult baby carriage or whatever. But it's. There's. It's awesome. I thought it was really, really groovy. I really like Portland, Oregon. What'd you have to say, brother? Sorry I interrupted you there, let's hear more.
- [42:03]
Caller 1
I really appreciate the way that you pedal your ticket, the way that you encourage people to not use second hand sites because you know, you don't want to, you don't want people paying more than they should to come see you. I understand that and I really respect that.
- [42:19]
Theo Von
Yeah, totally. Well, a lot of times what happens is people will look up a ticket, right, Want to go to the show, this city, this date or whatever. And then other secondary sites that are reselling tickets will put them, will pay more to get their searching higher on Google and stuff like that. And so then you click there and you're not really paying an original. You don't even have an option at a, at a regular price ticket if there's still any available onward.
- [42:46]
Caller 1
But then I go to your, your website, man, and I see that theovon.com tour is redirected to Ticketmaster. And I'm just curious, man, you know the, the people absolutely hate Ticketmaster.
- [43:00]
Theo Von
Oh yeah, and I'm one of the people, brother. I hate them. I hate them. It's a scam. They've been running this scam forever. So I don't know how we get a politician that is going to break up the monopoly. That's very obvious. I don't know how you get that done. You know, I would love to have a ticket broker on this year. Maybe we can find, start delving into the dark depths of all that because yes, it's a monopoly. It's sick. It's sick that you could take three of your friends to a show but now you can only take one because the fees are astronomical. We don't see any money from the fees. Artists don't. You know, it's just the same people. It's these big companies. Who owns Ticketmaster? You look that up for me. Live Nation Entertainment. So there you go. Ticketmaster is a wholly owned subsidiary of Live Nation which is headquartered in Beverly Hills. Yeah, well, I think one of the issues. Who's the owner of Live Nation? I wonder? Vanguard. Well, here's. This is hilarious. Zoom in on this a little bit. Liberty Media Corporation is the largest shareholder of Live Nation Entertainment, owning 30% of the company. Other major shareholders include. Vanguard owns 8.3%. BlackRock Advisors owns 5.5%. So there you go. It's the same people that own everything. So that's why you're getting. Because they own everything. They own the building that the show is in sometimes and then they own the website and they don't care. They don't care. That's the bottom line. They don't care. They don't care that it takes more money out of your pocket and mine if I buy tickets somewhere. They don't. They don't care. They want money. That's all they want. So. Yeah, that shit hurts my heart, man. Nothing I can do about it, man. You know, and maybe one day there'll be a better way to do it. I know Zach Bryan tried a unique method through a axs, I think ticketing, but it hasn't shown up yet. Or a way that's definitely definitively saves people that money. But yeah, those people are robbing people and that's what it is. And. But we have a government that continues to allow that sort of business behavior, especially when they have a monopoly on the market. Yeah, that's just. Those are my feelings. To me, it feels like it's bullshit to you calling, I'm sure to everybody listening. I'd love to have an extra $40 from Ticket and fees to go get me a soda or something. Get me a little Butterfinger or something. Get mom the payday or whatever. She likes eating. She can't even hear the show. She's over here. Cheaper to get her a ticket than put her in dang hospice or whatever, you know, she's over here, you know, listening to whatever we're watching, you know, Metallic on Ice or whatever over here, you know, or I Spice on Ice or whatever. Who knows what the hell they're doing now. You know, now it's. They have a new Anxiety on Ice as a new performance for kid. Like what? What are we even taking our kids to? It's Big Pharma Anxiety on Ice brought to you by Live Nation and Pfizer. Dude, that's what we're doing. I mean, yeah, people at least aren't blind to it. Praise God. Brother, thank you for the call and yeah, I'm sorry about it too, man. Let me hear the end. What do you hear? What you have to say? I'm sorry.
- [46:49]
Caller 1
And I personally would not go see a show just because it's being sold strictly food ticket master. So I was curious if there was some kind of way that we could get away from these big corporations and hopefully by getting away from them, you could get more of a percentage of ticket sales and that.
- [47:10]
Theo Von
Yeah, totally. I mean, those venues, they could give away to something. They could do something, you know, they also. Yeah, they charge people for parking a lot of times or it just. That's. But some of it is business. But that part, I believe is Egregious. That's how I feel. But no, as of right now, I don't know another way. You know, I could look into it, though. Maybe one day I'll have you know, I could own venues with other people and we could just do the shows there at our own venues and we wouldn't sell tickets and we wouldn't gouge people on those prices. Or maybe you'd find one politician that would just run simply on the fact that they're going to say, hey, those guys, we're not going to let them do it. We're going to figure out a way. So it's just those greedy companies and dirty lawyers, I believe. But also, there may be stuff I don't know about it. They may need an extra $42 a ticket to send you that email. So I might be off. What else? Sorry, am I getting negative there? Let me think about what else I'm thankful for, man. I'm thankful that I have buddies that check in on me. I need to do a better job of that, or I would like to do a better job of that in the coming year, checking in on people and checking in on myself. You know, I want to make sure I do a better job of that. What else am I thankful for? Oh, I'm thankful my buddy Jeremy just had a new baby, his third son. Him and his wife Natalie just had a child, and they just have a blessed. Just man. Him and my buddy Curtis, they. They run a speed and strength training, a training group over here in Nashville. And it just. Those guys are like. They're like the best part of my week when I get to be over there and just laugh with everybody, and we have so much fun, and they really uplift a lot of. A lot of the community here. And so, yeah, that's something I'm thankful for that he had a healthy son. What else am I thankful for? I'm thankful I got to go to my buddy Scott's wedding this year. I'm thankful I got to see my friend the other night. I'm thankful that God lets me think about other people and that I can try hard, that I can, you know, that if there's patches where I go through, where I get stuck, stuck in myself, that I can come out of those, you know, we're not. So every thought doesn't have to be a sentence, like a life sentence, you know, or that every feeling isn't like a life sentence. Even though there are moments sometimes where they think it feels like they might be, they're not I'm thankful you can see somebody that'll change your vibe, you know, or change. You can hear a song that'll change your energy, and you can choose to hear those things, too. What else? Yeah, I'm thankful that some of the mistakes I've made haven't. Haven't put me in places that make things very tough on me from day to day, you know, that's been a lot of grace from God in those spaces. What else? What do you think about, Trevin? Anything else? Any other gratitudes coming into your head?
- [50:41]
Trevin
Thankful for friends, like you said. Being able to be able to think about, you know, being grateful in itself. You know what I mean? Being able to take the time to.
- [50:52]
Theo Von
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thankful God lets me see different things or whatever. See animals, bro. I would hate that if you're at the zoo and your people are just telling you what the animals look like or whatever, and then the guy starts touching you on the back or whatever, you're like, this guy's a pedophile or whatever, you know, Who. Who am I even with, dude? That's the kind of scary that's out there. What else do we got? Oh, let's see. Oh, here we go right here, gang. Let's hear this one. They say home for.
- [51:34]
Caller 2
Hey, Theo, this is Big Red here.
- [51:37]
Theo Von
And Big Ridge, baby. Let's hear more, Daddy.
- [51:43]
Caller 2
I mean, I just want to preface by saying I'm. I'm not racist, but.
- [51:54]
Theo Von
All right. Onward.
- [51:58]
Caller 2
Lately, I've been hanging out with, you know, some brothers, and I've. I sneezed a couple times, but.
- [52:04]
Theo Von
You sneezed. Okay. You've been sneezing.
- [52:07]
Caller 2
I. I've noticed that I've been sneezing around outside, and.
- [52:15]
Theo Von
I just. I.
- [52:16]
Caller 2
They don't say bless you. And I don't know if it's, like, a me thing. I don't know if, like, you. It's like. I don't know if it's, like, hard to look tough like a thing. Bless you. Like, I don't know. I've been trying to stay bless you in the mirror in a tough way, and it's. I gotta admit, it's a really hard task to do.
- [52:34]
Theo Von
Like. Okay, I think I see what you're saying. You're saying a lot of brothers, they don't say bless you when you sneeze. Well, I mean, I think that's just a. That's just life, bro. I mean, brothers been through a lot of shit historically, man. Brothers. And female brothers, too. The sisters, they've Been through some shit, man. Get a history book, Doug. So they ain't worried if somebody can't handle a little pollen or something. Somebody sneezed. That ain't. They're worried somebody goes into prison, you know, that they. That's when they drop some bless yous on them. They worried they can't get the pain out of the culture. That's when they. That's some. They'll. They'll. They'll yell a bless you. They save some of their blessings for Sunday as well. But they. It's. It's white folk. We. You know, we. Somebody sneeze. Bless you, Ernie. Bless you. Bless you, Nathan. That. That's good. We. That's. You know, black folk, they. Just because somebody can't handle sitting near a tulip or something or somebody get a little activated, their lungs flare up around a fern. That ain't. That's a little bit more white trauma than it is a black trauma. I think, you know, some white dudes like, oh, dem azaleas, I can't breathe. Like you the Floral George, Floyd or something, man. Get your shit together, Mike. Get you. And don't bother a brother to say bless you because your white ass having trouble with some dandelion dander. Okay, get it together. Your soft ass can't breathe for half a second. You want God to help you. God, Come on, man. Come on, man. So I think that's just. Look, man, that's a cultural thing and I think you got to let that lie where it lies, baby. That's what I believe. Praise God, man. Thank you for the call, though. Thank you for letting me think out loud with you. Is pornography causing a problem in your life? Do you find yourself watching porno for longer periods of time and having trouble stopping? Is porn affecting your relationship or dating life? Well, you're certainly not alone. Watching pornography has become so commonplace today and oftentimes men use porn to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety and depression. Shame and stigma prevent men from talking about these issues and getting help for them. I want to introduce you to my friend Steve. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity. Steve is a long term Sexual Recovery member and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography and has dedicated his life to empowering men to do the same. Steve is an amazing person and he is a close friend of mine. I mean that Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life. Their coaches are in long term Recovery and will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide to transcend these problematic behaviors. To learn more about Valor recovery, please Visit them at www.recoverycoaching.com or email them at admin@valor recovery coaching.com. thank you. You know, I do want to say, though, it's that, you know, it is that time of year where we can try to do more for others. That's one of my things. I was thinking about yesterday. I was like, how can I make next year? How can I do more? You know? And we all want to. Right? We all want time. I hear that so many times from people like, hey, how can I be a part of. How can I do? You know? And so, yeah, I've been thinking about that a lot, and I'm gonna. I want to figure that out, you know, just ways to. Yeah, we have. We all want to find ways to give back to help our. Our neighbor, you know, and this is the time of year for that to be on our. On our hearts, I think, or I don't know. I'm not trying to preach at you. This is the time of year where that's on my heart, you know? How can I. Yeah, how can I think about somebody else? Because what a relief it is when you're trapped in yourself to have a moment where you're thinking about somebody else. You're like, oh, thank you, God. Letting me think about somebody else, man. What else? Let's take a couple more calls here on the way out. Let me take this one right here.
- [57:19]
Caller 1
Hey, Theo. I love the show. I'm calling with an issue. I'm 20 years old. I've been drinking every single day since I've been 17. There's been times where I stopped drinking for a week. I always fall back into the same thing, and I hate myself for it. Everything pulls me down. I'm just wondering if you have any advice for me.
- [57:48]
Theo Von
Yeah, I noticed myself, man. Thanks for calling, bro. I noticed myself when I get. When I'm doing something I don't want to be doing, when I'm doing something I don't want to be doing. And then I've said to myself, hey, I don't want to do this anymore. And then I keep doing it. I can't help but do it, right? That's addiction. You can't help it. You're doing it, which isn't you. That's not you making that choice all the time. It is. It's addiction. It's a disease, right? So the same as if somebody had cancer. You wouldn't say to them every day, oh, damn, you have cancer again. You keep choosing to have cancer. No, they have cancer. It's the same with addiction. You are. You don't want to do this. You are doing it right. You can't stop that cycle. And then here, this is what I would notice for myself. Then shame starts building up, because now not only am I addicted, now I am. Now I am ashamed because I keep breaking my own promise to myself. Right now I'm losing my integrity. So now not only am I dealing with addiction, but I'm also dealing with. With. With shame. And, man, when those two dogs get together, good luck getting a Frisbee through the yard, brother. Them some growlers, Daddy. But that's the only. People ask me a lot, how you know about addiction stuff. The only answer I ever know that has helped me has been going to recovery, going to Alcoholics Anonymous, starting there, going to a meeting. Because the first thing they ask you in there is that my life. Is your life unmanageable? That's the question. Is your life unmanageable? Nothing has to be about alcohol or any. Is your life unmanageable? Because that's a way where you get to choose for yourself. Nobody's making a diagnosis of you being an alcoholic. You decide. But it's like, is life unmanageable? And that's a very fair question. Anybody? If the answer is yes, then they. There's more. Then you take it from there and there, you know. But I would recommend go to three AA meetings, some different ones. Listen for the similarities and don't listen for the differences. Because it's easy to be like, ah, this shit, not that. Ain't. You hear One thing like, that ain't for me, you know? So, yeah, man, I'm sorry that you're dealing with that, but that's really the only. I don't have a magic button or a magic solution, you know? And then once you're in there, you can maybe get some sponsorship or something. They can help you decide if you should get treatment or that sort of thing. Now, if you're drinking every day for that long, you may need treatment to detoxify yourself. But thinking of you, brother, and. And thank you for calling, man. I appreciate that. What else? Here we go. Let's hear it. What up, Theo? Hi.
- [61:00]
Maria Gillen
Hey, I got a question for you, Theo. My name is Jocelyn and I have a son here. He's 10 years old with down syndrome. Just any advice that you would give to him personally would be much appreciated. And we Think you're great. Keep doing what you're doing, bro.
- [61:17]
Theo Von
Thank you. Thank you, Jocelyn. I was very sweet of you to call. Happy Thanksgiving to you and to your child right there. And I'd say to you, to. To your child, I'd say, hang in there, young king. Okay, you little freckled sparrow of the heavens, hang in there. Hold the line, baby boy. Because young DS lords like yourself are heroes and you are beloved. You are God's thank you card. There's not an any of us in the. In existence that doesn't. That doesn't see somebody with Don CENRA and feel something. You know, you make a candle, just a candle, just light up inside of everybody. Y'all are the ones. Y'all are the ones braving the genetic nether realm to see what's on the other side. Y'all are the Lewis and Clarks of DNA, okay? The Harriet Tubman of afflictions. That's y'all, young King. And every year, we're getting closer to winning this war. I'll say that out loud. We will battle with down syndrome until it's all the way down. We will not. Relentless. So keep hugging your mom and keep being a bumblebee of hope for all of us. And keep smiling, because when you smile, when people with down syndrome smile, we all smile somehow because we all have that just a. Not a. Not a ds, but a D O S E of it inside of us. And I believe that, you know, and that's why we can relate. And I love you and I love your mom. And I wish y'all a happy Thanksgiving and keep teaching the rest of us how to love better, you know, because I was right there in it. I was right there and just in the grips, and I was able to just break my foot free as a child. And I love you guys, man. Baby. Praise God, man. What else? Any other call that came in? Here's a young lady that called. And here we go. One more call.
- [63:51]
Maria Gillen
Hey, I'm struggling. It's just hard going back and forth trying to find a job with an addiction. It's really hard. I can't seem to put the alcohol down. And as funny as it is, I listened to your podcast because of how you talked about coke, and I've been struggling with putting it down. If I just get to the point where I just. I get so deep, you can't get out of it. And I know what. You know what I mean, but I'm really trying to keep just looking up, man.
- [64:47]
Theo Von
It just breaks my heart Kind of, you know, it's tough. Yeah. Just. I don't know what it makes me feel. I mean, it just. I guess. Yeah, I mean, it just. Yeah. I don't know. It makes me sad. Yeah, I guess it makes me like. What does it make you feel like?
- [65:14]
Trevin
Well, I think it's. I think it's powerful that they feel like they could reach out to you to talk about it with someone who can relate. You know what I'm saying?
- [65:22]
Theo Von
Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a part of. It's like you wanna. You can just tell when somebody's hurting, you know? I think we can all tell when somebody else is having a tough time, you know, and we maybe just call her. Is that crazy? You think Trevin do it?
- [65:40]
Trevin
I think it would make her day.
- [65:42]
Theo Von
Let's just call her. Let's see. We can even ask her if we. I don't care if we put this on or not. We can just. Let me see.
- [66:01]
Maria Gillen
Hello?
- [66:02]
Theo Von
Hey, what's up? It's Theo.
- [66:09]
Maria Gillen
Yo, Theo.
- [66:10]
Theo Von
Von. I got you. Did you call? I don't know if this the right person. Did you call our. I just. I'll have like a voicemail thing. I just didn't know if you called it the other day.
- [66:19]
Maria Gillen
Is this really Day Alone?
- [66:20]
Theo Von
Yeah. Yeah, it is. Who's this?
- [66:22]
Maria Gillen
Holy shit. You actually listen to it?
- [66:25]
Theo Von
Yeah, sometimes it takes me a while, dude. It freaking takes me a while. But we just happened to start list just like we've been listening for the past couple of weeks to try and do like a. An episode to come out next week and so yeah, today I was listening to him and I just heard your message and it just like. Yeah, you know, I struggle with. So I just thought I would just say what's up? Or you know, dude, I just had.
- [66:49]
Maria Gillen
A wreck like two days ago and.
- [66:52]
Theo Von
Oh, what happened?
- [66:54]
Maria Gillen
I don't know how I didn't die. I was not paying attention and I got. I like rear end but I was flying and I shouldn't have and it totaled the out of my car. I don't know how I died. I did. I just came out with a small concussion and nobody else was hurt and.
- [67:11]
Theo Von
Do you have insurance?
- [67:13]
Maria Gillen
Yeah, it's getting taken care of, but it's just been a shitty week. I got cheated on too, so.
- [67:19]
Theo Von
Oh, that's.
- [67:21]
Maria Gillen
I can't believe you actually listen to my voicemail.
- [67:24]
Theo Von
Yeah, well, it just shook me, you know, I mean it just made me, you know, it seemed like you're having it going through a tough time and I'VE been there for sure.
- [67:33]
Maria Gillen
I'm going on 19 hours of no drinking over right now.
- [67:37]
Theo Von
Let's go. That's awesome, dude. 19 hours is big.
- [67:42]
Maria Gillen
I know. It's a lot for me.
- [67:45]
Theo Von
Yeah. Yeah it is. I'm happy for you. That's awesome. What do you think? So what. What time of day or what kind of happens that you start to. You. You feel like you start to fall apart a little bit or make you drink?
- [67:57]
Maria Gillen
Well, it was really the start of my job. I started a job last year and we ended up having to work like it was a mandatory seven days a week. And it's been like that the whole time I started and I finally. They fired me in October. That then that's when really started to fall apart. I started showing up, drinking on the job and stuff. It was just getting really rough. Burnt out.
- [68:22]
Theo Von
Yeah. So you, you just drinking a get by huh?
- [68:25]
Maria Gillen
Yeah. Oh, I went through a couple of relationships. I tried to make relationships and just got cheated on. It's just. It's been a rough year. Really?
- [68:34]
Theo Von
Yeah. Dang. And where you got family over there or. No?
- [68:39]
Maria Gillen
Yeah, I live with my mom and my dad.
- [68:41]
Theo Von
Oh, nice. You have any children?
- [68:44]
Maria Gillen
Oh no, I'm 24. I'm still living a little bit of life at turn too.
- [68:49]
Theo Von
Oh well, look, I think you got some blessings right there and then. So you don't have a. You don't have a responsibility outside of yourself. You got to take care of. That's nice, you know.
- [68:56]
Maria Gillen
Yeah.
- [68:56]
Theo Von
I mean except for your folks, you know.
- [68:59]
Maria Gillen
Yeah.
- [69:00]
Theo Von
Do you ever go to AA meetings or anything?
- [69:05]
Maria Gillen
No, I have never thought about it. I got put on medication a while back, but I got off of it and I think that kind of made it worse because I went cold turkey.
- [69:15]
Theo Von
Oh yeah, that can be tricky.
- [69:18]
Maria Gillen
But I felt like the medicine was just making me more depressed. But it could be from the drinking too while drinking on it. So I've never had like talked to a therapist or anybody about it.
- [69:31]
Theo Von
What do you feel? I mean do you feel like you drink too much? You just feel like you feel bad? I mean are you or do you just feel like maybe you just had a tough couple days? No judgment either. I'm not judging you.
- [69:41]
Maria Gillen
Yeah, I just. I've been through. I know there's people out there that go through worse things. I have was in a relationship for a few years before I moved back in with my parents and it was abusive and I lost. I had a. I was pregnant and I lost my baby and I think that's where it all started. It was just really hard.
- [70:09]
Theo Von
Yeah, I bet that's tough, huh? You probably just. I don't know, what did it. Did you start. Yeah, like what did you start feeling, you think?
- [70:18]
Maria Gillen
I just felt like I couldn't do nothing anymore. I think that's where it all started, like to fall apart for me. And I kept trying to like get back up and it just kept bringing me back down. And then I just picked up alcohol. And it was funny because I used to never want to drink, not even when I turned 21. Yeah, it's just a lot of baggage. I feel like.
- [70:42]
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. Oh, if I just can't feel it. If I feel like I just can't do good anymore. That's horrible feeling.
- [70:49]
Maria Gillen
Yeah.
- [70:50]
Theo Von
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you've been dealing with all that.
- [70:55]
Maria Gillen
I'm trying to get back up on my feet, get another job. I think that's not working and stuff like that is. Really. You're just sitting at home thinking in your head all the time. I don't. I have one friend and I love her to death. She always tries to help me, but I'm kind of a hard headed. I don't listen to her.
- [71:13]
Theo Von
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we can't. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. Don't try to help me. Well, dang. Yeah. I wish there was some way that I could help out, you know, I wish there was something I could do to be supportive. Yeah, I mean, do they have therapists in your town? Do you think even going to somebody like that would help? I'm just trying to think of something that might help you get a better, you know, or do you need to get a new job? Do you think you could even work right now? What do you think's going on?
- [71:42]
Maria Gillen
I don't. I don't even. I don't know how to start. I don't know if I. I've always like been around people that tell me therapy doesn't work and you don't need to go to pay somebody to tell them about your problems because they don't care, you know, stuff like that. So I guess I kind of just stuck that in my head that I didn't need to go talk to people about it, I guess. Yeah, I kind of just hold it in until I explode.
- [72:06]
Theo Von
Yeah. Well, yeah, I just don't know if that's good or not. I don't know if it's good for anything to hold anything in that long, you know?
- [72:13]
Maria Gillen
No, it's not. But I've Always grew up where you don't talk about your emotions that much. So.
- [72:20]
Theo Von
Yeah, dude. Oh, God. If I. If you felt something in my neighborhood, somebody call you a dang. To be honest with. With you, you know, and no offense, I didn't say that. I think it's a.
- [72:32]
Maria Gillen
No, that is exactly how it is.
- [72:34]
Theo Von
Down here, but damn. Yeah, I feel you there. Well, how about this? Maybe I'll just. Is it all. I'll check back in with you in, like, a week or something to see how things are going.
- [72:46]
Maria Gillen
Okay. That. It really helped me calling you actually heard me, like, it just felt. Made me feel better.
- [72:54]
Theo Von
Yeah, well, I. I know what that's. Yeah, I can relate to that, man. For sure. Yeah.
- [72:59]
Maria Gillen
Just sometimes you just need somebody to listen.
- [73:01]
Theo Von
Yeah. Yeah, that's true, man. I feel that. I feel that. Yeah, I feel that. I definitely feel that.
- [73:18]
Maria Gillen
Yeah. It feels good to get it out, but, you know, some people just don't want to hear about your problems. They're always like, well, I'm doing with this. I'm dealing with that. Everybody's dealing with.
- [73:30]
Theo Von
Yeah.
- [73:30]
Maria Gillen
But sometimes you just need somebody to hear you out and not make you feel crazy for it.
- [73:37]
Theo Von
Yeah. And you're right. Sometimes we just want somebody to listen, you know, we just want something to be. You know, we just want a place to put something. There's obviously different things you could go do to try to get help for yourself, you know, or if you wanted to. You have insurance or. No?
- [73:51]
Maria Gillen
Yeah, I do.
- [73:52]
Theo Von
Okay, cool. So you could. If you wanted to try therapy, then you could try it at least. You know, I know it takes time to, like, try and figure that out, but that is a thing. And then. Yeah, but. Yeah, how about this? I'll just. Yeah, I just want to just. I'll check back in, like, in a week or something and just see how you're doing. Is that okay if I check back in?
- [74:10]
Maria Gillen
Yeah, that's fun.
- [74:12]
Theo Von
Okay, cool. All right. We'll have a good time over there. What y'all gonna do for Thanksgiving?
- [74:19]
Maria Gillen
I don't know.
- [74:22]
Theo Von
What are your parents doing?
- [74:24]
Maria Gillen
They're cooking some food. Family over? I'm not on good terms with my brother right now, so it's gonna be kind of awkward.
- [74:32]
Theo Von
Damn, I wish I could figure that out before he gets over there.
- [74:37]
Maria Gillen
Everybody tells me to apologize. I need to stop holding the garage. I know. I do. Yeah, I'm working on it.
- [74:42]
Theo Von
Yeah, I feel you. Sometimes that stuff's hard, you know? It's hard. Maybe. Yeah. I don't know. I feel you. I struggle with that. I got the same issues with some of my family. It's tough, you know, it's. Family's tough. But, yeah, if I can't swallow my pride for my family, you know, at least do it for myself, for others, you know, because it don't have to be about me on Thanksgiving. That's what I started thinking the other day.
- [75:09]
Maria Gillen
Yeah.
- [75:10]
Theo Von
You know, I don't. I don't deserve to ruin other people's day just because I have feelings a certain way, you know, I should be able to figure that out. I'm not telling you that. I'm just saying that to me, really.
- [75:22]
Maria Gillen
Gotta be humble and grateful.
- [75:24]
Theo Von
Well, I just. I should be able to approach somebody in my family at the end of the day, say it were the last minute on earth. What do I. What do I want that family member to think? I want them to think, oh, I was holding something against them, you know, that I couldn't figure out, you know, like, no, I would want my family member to think that I love them, you know, and so I gotta figure that out, even if it's for short term basis, you know, because I. I don't know. I just don't want. Yeah. I don't want to be always a part of the problem, you know?
- [75:57]
Maria Gillen
Yeah.
- [75:58]
Theo Von
But. All right, well, I gotta finish up because I'm about to go watch some football. All right. What's your first name?
- [76:06]
Maria Gillen
Emily.
- [76:07]
Theo Von
Emily. Well, I appreciate you calling and I just hope you hang in there and. Yeah. Just don't feel alone, you know, because that's. That isn't true.
- [76:17]
Maria Gillen
Yeah, I know. I have family that supports me.
- [76:20]
Theo Von
Yeah. And you just have people that are like you. I think sometimes you just have to go find. You have to. It's hard times. We gotta. We gotta. We gotta find them, you know?
- [76:29]
Maria Gillen
Yeah.
- [76:30]
Theo Von
So. But anyway, I hope I'm not trying. I don't sound like I'm trying to preach at you, do I?
- [76:35]
Maria Gillen
No, no, I needed this, actually. I needed to talk to somebody about it.
- [76:40]
Theo Von
Yeah. Anything else you're feeling?
- [76:45]
Maria Gillen
No, I'm just gonna drink a bunch of water and keep going.
- [76:50]
Theo Von
There you go. Stay hydrated, baby. That's what you can do. All right, Emily. Happy Thanksgiving.
- [76:56]
Maria Gillen
All right. Happy Thanksgiving. You have a good one.
- [76:58]
Theo Von
Okay. You too. Take care.
- [77:00]
Maria Gillen
Bye.
- [77:04]
Theo Von
Wow. Sweet girl. Yeah, man, it just. That's wild. That's so fun to you.
- [77:10]
Z
This.
- [77:10]
Theo Von
The same things. I'm dealing. I got some fam. It's just like. It's tough. But then what do I want to do? I want to go. I want to bring all this or tell my family members, like, well, I don't want to be there if they're there. And then I'm just making a storm. And the truth is there's a part of me inside of me that. That wants to be around my family. It wants everything to be okay, you know? But there's another part of me that wants to have things my way. That's really what it is for me. Even if the other person wronged me or I don't like their energy or whatever, I can't figure this out for two hours, you know, and then what's my part in it? I'm a saint. No. Sometime. Sometimes I'm a Saint Bernard with a couple of face tattoos, baby. I'm Jelly Wolf. You feel me? So don't make me pop the trunk. Ah. Oh, this is my brother. Let me see if I can get a couple him to say a couple things he's thankful for. Big Z.
- [78:16]
Z
What's up, bro?
- [78:17]
Theo Von
Not much. I'm recording my podcast right now, brother. How are you?
- [78:22]
Z
Good, good. Just checking in on you, bro. And seeing. Checking in on you after the other day.
- [78:27]
Theo Von
Oh, yeah, I appreciate it, man. Yeah, I was just talking to some girl I've been. She like, called her hotline. She'd been having a tough time.
- [78:35]
Z
Oh, really?
- [78:36]
Theo Von
Yeah, she just. Yeah, she was having a tough time. So I just gave her. I just called over there and was talking to her for a little while.
- [78:43]
Z
Oh, from the show?
- [78:44]
Theo Von
Yeah.
- [78:46]
Z
Oh, nice.
- [78:46]
Maria Gillen
Yeah.
- [78:47]
Z
So you got the. You've been doing the hotline more now. Someone said that to me the other day.
- [78:51]
Theo Von
I'm trying to. I just. Sometimes it's hard for me to feel comfort. It's like I don't like to do it when I don't or do solo, you know, Sometimes I do my podcast just by myself.
- [79:01]
Z
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [79:02]
Theo Von
I don't like to do it if the. If I don't feel comfort, you know, like if I feel agitated or something or I'm stressed out.
- [79:10]
Z
Yeah, well, that's fine.
- [79:12]
Theo Von
That makes sense to me. Yeah. Because it just feels like I can't be. I don't feel like my. You know, I just feel like. Like I'm just going through the emotions or whatever, you know?
- [79:24]
Z
Yeah, you kind of caught up.
- [79:26]
Theo Von
Yeah, but it was just. Yeah, but some girls called. She just been struggling.
- [79:31]
Z
Oh, nice. That's pretty. That's pretty crazy. You kind of did a little 12 step work on your podcast.
- [79:37]
Theo Von
Yeah. Just to listen to her. She. She was talking about I don't know. She reminded me of just. It's funny because we both had some of the same things, which was like being around family during the holiday. Just stuff like that, too. We ended up talking about.
- [79:50]
Z
Yeah, yeah, I need to call that hotline, man. I always forget about that. You can call in sometimes.
- [79:56]
Theo Von
Yeah, dude. Well, actually, you can help us right now. We're finishing that. If you have a couple things you're thankful for, we're just going to think of a couple of them on the way out of the episode. If you got a couple.
- [80:05]
Z
Oh, man.
- [80:07]
Theo Von
What am I thankful?
- [80:10]
Z
Oh, that's such a big question.
- [80:11]
Theo Von
I know. It is.
- [80:13]
Z
I guess. I mean, I'm definitely thankful for my family, you know, you and everyone else in our family, for sure. I'm really thankful for my friends and the friendships that I've been developing. I mean, I'm thankful for.
- [80:37]
Theo Von
Potential, you.
- [80:38]
Z
Know, just like being able to. Just to get up in the morning and, you know, go for another day. I'm gonna thankful for. Really thankful for the. That I get to be a parent, you know?
- [80:54]
Theo Von
Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
- [80:56]
Z
Yeah. I love parenting. I love raising my children. What is that here? Yeah, I used to have this. This hypothetical. Like, it's a little bit derogatory, but I can tell you if you want.
- [81:13]
Theo Von
Yeah. All right.
- [81:14]
Z
All right. So if you're on an island and you can't. You can't masturbate, right? You can't. Okay, that's the example. You have no arms. You can't do it.
- [81:26]
Theo Von
Okay. You have legs, though.
- [81:29]
Z
Well, you. Yeah, but if you can use them to masturbate, then. No, because you can't masturbate in this example.
- [81:33]
Theo Von
Okay.
- [81:35]
Z
There's no way you can do it. There's no way you can do it with one leg. You have one leg and no arm.
- [81:39]
Theo Von
Oh, yeah.
- [81:41]
Z
And you're just laying naked. You're laying naked on the beach on this deserted island.
- [81:44]
Theo Von
Right. Okay.
- [81:45]
Z
And. But you have a strong libido.
- [81:47]
Theo Von
All right?
- [81:48]
Z
And you're a heterosexual male. Like you. Like you. I mean, like, you probably are. I don't know for certain, but you probably are heterosexual male, so you're heterosexual male.
- [81:55]
Theo Von
Yeah.
- [81:56]
Z
And you have a strong libido. You can. And then all of a sudden, there's another man on the island.
- [82:01]
Theo Von
Oh.
- [82:03]
Z
So here's the question. Do you eventually have sex with this man?
- [82:09]
Theo Von
No, I don't think you do.
- [82:11]
Z
Well, for me, it's a. Hell, yeah.
- [82:13]
Theo Von
God.
- [82:15]
Z
Okay. I mean, really. I don't mean, like. Well, yeah. Think about it. Which. If you can't. If you can't masturbate, you can.
- [82:21]
Theo Von
But y'all date for a long time first. Or is there any. Or how does it even.
- [82:26]
Z
No, one day you're out there just laying on the beach because you can't walk. You only have one leg.
- [82:30]
Theo Von
You can get up.
- [82:32]
Z
Well, you could. You could knee over. You could knee over. You could hobble over. And then kind of from the distance, here comes this man walking, and he's got two legs.
- [82:42]
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. Big spender, huh?
- [82:45]
Z
Big spender. He's got a shirt. He's got a shirt, but you can see his chest. And you guys just strike it up.
- [82:51]
Theo Von
You know what I'm talking about?
- [82:54]
Z
Just listen. There's the example. You make a bonfire together. You roast weenies. You have a little weenie roast.
- [82:59]
Theo Von
Wait, hold on. You can't even walk, but suddenly you're a damn wee blow scout, dude.
- [83:08]
Z
No, bro, look. He carries you over to the fire and lays you down.
- [83:11]
Theo Von
Oh, God. Breast.
- [83:14]
Z
Breasts up. Breasts up. Lays you down. And then. So I'm just saying eventually. Eventually, you'd have sex even though you're not. Even though you're heterosexual male.
- [83:26]
Theo Von
All right. All right, man. I'm gonna give you a buzz back, all right?
- [83:29]
Z
That's what I'm thankful for.
- [83:30]
Theo Von
All right, bro. I love you. All right. Love you, too, man. Wow. It's got me thinking, too, man. You're like. You'd have to go on dates with the guy. You know what I'm saying? You're like. And you'd have to know people aren't coming to get you. You can't just. You know what I'm saying, Trevin, you'd.
- [83:55]
Trevin
Be having sex with the guy, and then you hear a helicopter over.
- [83:58]
Theo Von
Yeah, totally. Yeah. You can't be. If you just are stuck on an island for two days and you hook up with a dude, then you're just a gay guy, which is fine, but don't be like, oh, the island. Or whatever. Wow. Just an island, boy. Dang, bro. And that's why our family has trouble during the holidays. I'll tell you that, man. That is why they do. Blessings to everybody out there, man. Thank you, guys for being a part of my life. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life. Thank you for just this year. It's been crazy, man. The past couple weeks were really crazy. Like, yeah, I kind of was, like, losing my mind. I went on Joe Rogan's show, and I was just having a tough time on There I just was like, I think I got real scared like after like the election and people making podcasts, like, they're like podcasts swayed the election. And I don't believe any of that. I believe people do what they want to do, you know, and, and then they make you out to be this big right wing fat people emailing me about fascism or whatever and just a lot, just like, yeah, just because I voted for my buddy. I, Bobby Kennedy's my friend. That is my friend. I know, but I, I, in fact, he's, he's a good, He's a, just a, he's somebody I trust. He's my friend. Right. I'll vote for my friend. You think my friend is going to run for fricking President of the United States and I'm not going to vote for him, dude. Or for, you know, Minister of Health or whatever or whatever it is called. It's called Deadpool 7 or whatever he's called now or whatever, you know, the CVS warlord or. I'm not even sure what they're calling him now. But yeah, I'm gonna vote for my friend. And I don't really care what anybody thinks about that. I don't think, and I wouldn't think it's weird if you vote for your friend. I don't give a. Who anybody votes for. But, yeah, so, But I don't know. Yeah, I think just a lot of stuff, like, kind of freaked me out in the past couple weeks and I was just been feeling overwhelmed and, and yeah, and then we all go through and then the year's going fast and whatever. I'm not, I'm not making a pity party. I'm just happy to take a breath, man. I'm just happy to take a breath, happy to be alive. And maybe I do feel like I have to explain myself. I don't know, I may, you know, I don't, I don't know. I'm just, I don't know what I'm doing. Okay. So you won't come to my house or office. I don't even have an office. But you won't come to whatever and see, like a board, like a, you know, chalkboard or whatever with arrows on it or whatever. Or like, you know, it says, you know, secrets or, you know, just like. So anyway, I don't know what I'm talking about. Who cares, man? I've talked enough. I've wasted enough of your time today as always. The hotline is 985-664-9503. And yeah, the holidays, man. You gotta think they're coming up. Let me try this one. No, that's. Jesus Christ. I'm gonna beat somebody's ass outside of a Bed, Bath and Beyond if I have to hear that. Let's try this. Okay. It's close. It's a bit much. That's my brother. I can't listen to that anymore. He's trying to get me to go on a cruise. I bet. There we go. A little too slow. Oh, yeah. That's taking a bath by yourself, dude. That's when it gets really crazy. If you're young and you jerk off to that dude. You obviously wear. Wear like a nice jacket when you do it, you know?
- [88:19]
Caller 3
Sa.
- [88:44]
Theo Von
Just remind everybody. Be good to yourselves, man. Be good to others. Do. Let's do. We'll just keep doing what we can do. Excited about the end of the year we have coming up. We will take a week off at some point for no episode. And. And. Yeah, that's what's. That's all that's going on. And Happy Thanksgiving to you, Trevin.
- [89:05]
Trevin
You too, brother.
- [89:06]
Theo Von
Yeah. Thank you for being here. Riley Mao, Ben Becker, all of the producers that have helped. Zach Powers, Colin Reiner, Nick Davis, Cameron George. We got a whole gaggle of guys and. And people who have over the years. Happy Thanksgiving to you guys and thank you guys for being a part of my life and. And the support. And you guys be good to yourselves. Baby.
- [89:37]
Caller 3
Help me find who my baby will be Santa, tell me where you show yourself to me Help me find who my baby will be tonight that's all I need Somebody that I can for me Somebody I can give a Give time and ring Someone in this puzzle Give me my missing piece, you know I don't need anything else this Christmassy Just want someone to be with Shiny Jesus under the mistletoe under the moonlight we can take it slow I can be your only guide don't need to think twice when I got you by my side with you everything feels just right didn't want to admit that I needed this wish I know you got a lot on your lips but all I'm asking is Santa tell me when you show yourself to me Help me find who my baby will be Santa, tell me when you show yourself to me Help me find who my baby will be tonight Tonight Tonight Must be facing go without anyone to hold and this your tight season's not meant to be alone I really wanna believe if you got plans for me Santa Tell me when you show yourself to me Help me find who my baby will be Santa, tell me when you show yourself to me Help me find who my baby will be who my baby will Santa, tell me when you show yourself to me Please help me find who my baby will be yeah, Santa, tell me when you shine Know yourself Tell me help me find you My baby oh, my baby oh, my baby oh, my baby will be tonight.