E553 Grace O'Malley

Summary

Podcast Summary: This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von – Episode E553: Grace O'Malley

Release Date: January 6, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode E553 of This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von, host Theo Von welcomes Grace O'Malley, an emerging entertainer from the Boston and New England regions. Grace, known for her work with Barstool Sports and burgeoning stand-up comedy career, joins Theo to discuss her journey in comedy, personal anecdotes, relationships, and upcoming projects.

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Guest Background

[06:36] Grace O'Malley shares her roots, originally hailing from the outskirts of Boston. She delves into her family dynamics, mentioning having three younger sisters and humorously referring to herself as "the milkman's" due to her red hair.

[08:08] Grace discusses the cultural shifts in her hometown, touching upon historical events like the busing controversy of the 1970s, which led her family to relocate outside Boston.

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Stand-Up Comedy and Podcasting

[06:33] Grace recounts her move to New York in 2020, initially performing stand-up on the streets during the COVID-19 pandemic. She became serious about comedy in January 2024, intensifying her performances and networking efforts.

[07:17] Whitney Cummings played a pivotal role in Grace's career by inviting her to open for her tours, propelling Grace into larger venues.

[41:10] Grace expresses her passion for stand-up, emphasizing her desire to be recognized primarily for her comedy rather than other ventures. She highlights the challenges of perfecting her craft and finding her unique voice on stage.

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Personal Anecdotes and Experiences

[10:14] Theo shares a personal mishap involving electrical circuits at a carnival, setting a humorous tone for their candid conversation.

[19:30] Grace humorously describes her father's near-death experience from electrocution, adding a light-hearted narrative to their discussion.

[58:47] Both hosts share stories about their encounters with celebrities and the humorous situations they've found themselves in while navigating the entertainment industry.

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Friendship and Relationships

[32:54] Grace discusses her longstanding friendship with Brianna Chicken Fry, detailing their collaboration on the podcast "Plan Brie Uncut." Despite facing professional challenges and changes, their bond remains strong.

[21:11] The conversation shifts to personal relationships, with Grace candidly admitting she's never had a boyfriend. She humorously attributes her lack of romantic success to her "bro-like" flirting style.

[74:02] Grace opens up about her struggles with alcoholism, describing herself as a "functioning alcoholic" and her efforts to moderate her drinking habits through initiatives like Dry January.

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Substance Use and Mental Health

[60:32] Grace shares her experiences with substance use, including a single instance of taking LSD and her family's grappling with mental health issues exacerbated by drug use.

[46:38] Theo and Grace discuss the impact of drugs on personal and professional lives, highlighting both the humorous and serious repercussions they've encountered.

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New Year's Resolutions and Personal Growth

[100:38] Both Theo and Grace reflect on their New Year's resolutions. Grace aims to reduce her alcohol consumption, while Theo focuses on being more intentional with his time and relationships.

[45:40] They explore themes of honesty and authenticity in comedy, emphasizing the importance of being true to oneself both on and off the stage.

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Upcoming Projects and Future Plans

[52:05] Theo reveals his collaboration with David Spade on a movie project, discussing the challenges of independent filmmaking and the joy of working with admired figures in the industry.

[95:25] Grace announces her upcoming podcast, "Disgraceful," set to release in February on the Unwell Network. The podcast features a unique format where guests audition to become her co-host, blending humor with creative collaboration.

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Notable Quotes

• Theo Von [03:00]: "Being alive is just. Damn. It's a lot sometimes, you know, it just feels like a lot."

• Grace O'Malley [38:35]: "I finally found my thing."

• Grace O'Malley [26:20]: "I'll wait for my special day. I don't either. This."

• Theo Von [71:22]: "I would rip that left and right if I had the sex."

• Grace O'Malley [100:07]: "I'm trying to kick back."

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Conclusion

Episode E553 of This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von offers an intimate glimpse into Grace O'Malley's life as she navigates the demanding worlds of stand-up comedy and podcasting. Through laughter, personal stories, and honest reflections, Theo and Grace create a relatable and engaging conversation that resonates with listeners. As Grace embarks on new projects like her podcast "Disgraceful," both hosts share their aspirations and challenges, highlighting the ever-evolving nature of personal and professional growth in the entertainment industry.

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Note: Advertisements and non-content segments from the transcript have been excluded from this summary to maintain focus on the core conversation between Theo Von and Grace O'Malley.

Transcript

[Theo Von]

I want to let you know about some new tour dates. I will be in Nashville, Tennessee on May 3rd at the Bridgestone Arena. You can get your tickets starting Wednesday, January 8th at 10am local time with pre sale code Rat King. We also have tickets remaining in East Lansing, Eugene, Victoria, B.C. in the Canada, College Station, Belton, Texas, San Antonio, Oxford, Fayetteville, Tuscaloosa, Tallahassee, Winnipeg and Calgary, Alberta in the Canada. Get all your tickets@the ovon.com to you are make sure to make sure to go through that site and thank you so much for your support. That'll still be the return of the Rat Tour. Today's guest is an entertainer out of the Boston and New England areas of America and I got to see her backstage the other night when she was performing standup here in Nashville, Tennessee. She got her start with barstool sports and I've been a fan and I'm looking forward to get to learn more about her. Today's guest is Ms. Grace. Oh.

[Grace O'Malley]

I've got, I've got three younger sisters.

[Theo Von]

Y'all do.

[Grace O'Malley]

But I'm the, I'm the Milkmans because I'm a redhead.

[Theo Von]

You're the milkman?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm the milkman's.

[Theo Von]

Oh, the milkman. Yeah, my mom's a. Oh, really?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, damn. I wish, I wish. Huh?

[Grace O'Malley]

That looks good. Yeah, thanks.

[Theo Von]

I wish my mom would have gotten laid more, I think.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh yeah, I think she was. I don't know if she was making love to maybe this auto mechanic one time. I don't know. He would always come run and look around at us.

[Grace O'Malley]

A lot of undercarriage.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I think. Yeah, he was just. I don't know what he was doing. He might not even have been a mechanic. I mean it was in our town. It was like if you were greasy enough and kind of, you know, people would do mechanicking in their yard, you know, type of thing. We're like, come drop the car off in my house. And people would do a lot of like at home mechanicing type stuff like.

[Grace O'Malley]

Tag, you're it, you've got the car now.

[Theo Von]

Oh no. Just like it was like, like people didn't have to have a real shop to be a mechanic.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, gotcha. All right, cool, cool.

[Theo Von]

You know, so people could just do it at home.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, I never come empty handed to anything but I've been in limbo all day so this is the best I could do. I heard you're on again, off again, quitting.

[Theo Von]

Damn. You brought me this air bar.

[Grace O'Malley]

I heard sometimes you're quitting. Sometimes you're not, but mostly you're trying to quit. So I feel like an ass. But no, it's nice to you.

[Theo Von]

Very sweet of you. This is very. Yeah, it's almost like the first Thanksgiving or whatever, you know, whenever they did that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

So that's very nice. Yeah. And I've actually been doing good about quitting. I think the tough part is the worst thing about quitting is that you have to. Every day you're like, I'm going to quit. And then you don't. And then you see you set yourself up for failure.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it's. It's a commitment that I just. I don't have the willpower to do.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Have you tried it or. No.

[Grace O'Malley]

I was supposed to start dry January yesterday and I just did it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I couldn't. I don't have the willpower.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I wanted to stop this going on. So we're try again today.

[Theo Von]

You got it. Yeah. It's another day. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing. January is a lot of pressure, you know, It's a lot of pressure at the beginning of the year to get it all right.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. But for what though? Like, we're just new all of a sudden. We're just going to flip it off.

[Theo Von]

Well, I think that's kind of the goal. I think that's the goal. It just feels kind of tough, you know?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it's a lot of pressure.

[Theo Von]

It is a lot of pressure, dude. God, being alive is just. Damn. It's a lot sometimes, you know, it just feels like a lot. Grayson Alley. Thanks for coming in today.

[Grace O'Malley]

Thanks for having me. I'm super pumped. I. I tried to play it really cool the other day, but I am a very big fan.

[Theo Von]

Oh, thanks.

[Grace O'Malley]

Very big fan. This is very sick.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I'm. I'm a big fan of yours too. You always just seem like a. Just like such a human.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, why not?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like I don't know what's wrong with half of these people. Everyone's kind of out of control.

[Theo Von]

Things are.

[Grace O'Malley]

Huh.

[Theo Von]

I think. Well, I think if people get into like the spotlight or get like popularity. Popularity, ego, all that stuff is super dangerous, you know?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And you don't realize it sometimes. Like you can be getting infected by it or that like. Or suddenly you'll try to super manage how you're perceived. Which some of that's normal because you want to protect yourself. But I think all of that's just. It's scary.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I mean it like you just gotta. You gotta say you you got to be yourself.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's what it is. You just gotta be yourself. But if yourself is an asshole, then maybe you should change.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. If yourself's an asshole. Yeah. Because they got people out there now that are not even gay, that are being gay. They have all types of people. Like fake Native Americans. Like, every week they're busting, like, one of these politicians for saying they were Honduran or, you know, just a lot of bullshit.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know. I wish I had the 23 and me to claim one of those things, because I feel like if you can claim it, you can say it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

There's a lot of words I can't say that I would love to claim, to be able to say. You know what I mean?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I'm trying to think if you seem like. Because what are you. You are.

[Grace O'Malley]

I am a Mick. So I'm Irish.

[Theo Von]

You're Irish.

[Grace O'Malley]

Pretty. Pretty inbreded. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Okay. Nope. No. Yeah, no judgment for me here. I. Yeah, I think. Yeah. Irish are. Some people are really Irish. Have you seen that video of that baby? He's, like, breastfeeding and he order another tit or whatever.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God. No, I haven't seen that. But that's classic.

[Theo Von]

It's the most Irish ever.

[Grace O'Malley]

Pretty much the way I was.

[Theo Von]

He, like, orders around for everybody in the room or something at some. They're breastfeeding it. Like a family thing or whatever. Like a birthday or whatever.

[Grace O'Malley]

One of my worst jokes I ever wrote was like, one of my first ones was that I'm so Irish that it was breastfed Guinness.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Stupid.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

But it is what it is. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

It's a rough one. Kind of. I told some rough. Oh. Oh, my. One of my first jokes was like, oh, I need a job. A blow job.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's classic.

[Theo Von]

It was pretty bad. Thanks. We have each other, right? It was pretty bad. So, yeah, I stopped by the comedy club the other night, and you were doing stand up. How long. So how long have you been doing stand up? Just so. Because some audience won't know you. So you're a podcaster and a comedian.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Theo Von]

Okay. And how long have you been doing stand up?

[Grace O'Malley]

I. So I moved to New York in 2020. I was doing it, like, here and there on, like, the streets, because you had to do it, like, outside at the time and because of COVID Because of COVID Yeah. Yeah. And so I did, like, on and off here and there, but started taking it serious around January of this last year.

[Theo Von]

Okay. Of 2024.

[Grace O'Malley]

2024, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And so what did that mean, taking these years? Like, just getting up more like getting into, like, the circuits or what?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it's like an oxymoron saying. Taking it serious because it's comedy, but just, like, going up as much as I could, like networking, I guess, and put myself out there kind of thing. So I've been going up as much as I could, and Whitney Cummings ended up taking me on the road with her.

[Theo Von]

Oh, Whitney took on the road with her.

[Grace O'Malley]

My apologies.

[Theo Von]

Whitney did.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, she did.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. That's awesome.

[Grace O'Malley]

Which was sick. Yeah. So she put the fire under my ass. She came on. I used to have a podcast. It's no longer. But she came on as a guest, and she was like, I fuck with you. Like, you should open for me. And I'm like, you don't want it. You don't want. You don't want that. And she was like, no, just. Just do it. Just say yes and it'll. It'll all follow. So she put the fire into my ass. I just grinded.

[Theo Von]

Wow. And so you were just. Now was it like you were overnight suddenly on stage, having to do a lot of time or. No.

[Grace O'Malley]

So she. She gave me 15, which turned into 20, and she just kept. I guess I was doing something right because she kept adding me to more cities. So I was like, all right, so I guess I'm doing pretty good. Yeah, that was nice.

[Theo Von]

I. So you're from. Originally from where at?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm from Boston, but, like, outside of Boston.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And do people from outside of Boston look differently at people than inside of Boston?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, culturally, probably. There was. There was this thing in the 70s called busing where they brought African American children into the city and for schooling and for schooling. Yeah. So. So I. Some people didn't like that. So those people, they left. And that is unfortunately, where I come from.

[Theo Von]

That's just. Oh, that's for your family.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You were birthed out of those people.

[Grace O'Malley]

Those were those guys.

[Theo Von]

People make their choices, you know. They have. Yeah, they have. Yeah. Because Boston's interesting. They got a lot of racism up there, you know.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. But it's. You know, it's not as loud as it is down here, so it's.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. In the south, it's more. This health has more of that kind of slave magic history.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We. We just have just little innuendos of bad history and bad. Bad things we did, I guess.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's still up there, though, for sure.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. It depends on what side you're on.

[Grace O'Malley]

But, yeah, you should just meet my dad.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

You'll see.

[Theo Von]

Is he a fireman or.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, he wanted to be a police officer. Ended up being an electrician, but he fucked that up, too.

[Theo Von]

What, doing electricity?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, he. He got electrocuted.

[Theo Von]

Oh, he did?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, on the job. And he said he saw God. He started to be a believer, and Tyler Childers walked him into heaven.

[Theo Von]

Tyler Childers?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes, Childers.

[Theo Von]

Yes, the musician.

[Grace O'Malley]

The musician walked him into the pearly gates. So that's my father.

[Theo Von]

You almost got to believe him.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, well, I mean.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I mean, that's real.

[Grace O'Malley]

That guy's still alive. So I don't know. I don't know what that illusion was with him. Not really sure. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Why would a guy who's not even dead come and help you? That's nice of him.

[Grace O'Malley]

It is really sweet. But that makes me. I was like, oh, that's pretend.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. That's when it got a little fictional.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Like you were having a bad dream, then you woke up and you were blasted.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude, being electrocuted, it's kind of under. It's not a. It's. It doesn't get as much credit as it deserves, really. I got got once by electricity.

[Grace O'Malley]

Little fork in the outlet. Action.

[Theo Von]

No. When I was at a fair or something, I was. We used to go to the carnival down the street from our home or whatever, and they had. They would let you ride the rides the day before the fair opened.

[Grace O'Malley]

Test monkeys.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Nice.

[Theo Von]

So we're out there and. And we're doing it or whatever. And they were just, like, plugging in and whatever, and every. You know, and I tried to get off one of the rides, and I, like, grabbed two different railings, and I think I connected some circuit or whatever. So I was just this.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, did your friends see a skeleton? Like the cartoons?

[Theo Von]

No. I don't know. My friends, they kind of ran off. They're like, oh, something's. You know, this isn't. We don't want to be involved.

[Grace O'Malley]

Be a superhero.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. This guy's not doing good. We don't want to be involved in it. And some guy called me, I think it. Or whatever, and kicked me in the back, and I was like, okay, he saved my life. But he still called me a. So it was like, well, you know. But that. What do you. That's what you get kind of around the carnival. But that time. And then I was walking behind a food truck that was serving crab meat or whatever, which I don't trust.

[Grace O'Malley]

That sounds really wrong. Wrong, too.

[Theo Von]

Oh, It's. Yeah. I don't trust crab meat. That's that close to, like, a gas tank, I think, you know?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, no, that's fair. I think. I think crab meat should be fresh from the ocean.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, right from the ocean. I. Actually, when we got here this weekend, I had. I had crab legs, and I'm like, what am I doing? Yeah, my brain's out. This whole last.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, it's horrible.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're in landlock right now, right?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know what I was doing.

[Theo Von]

Never seen a crab anywhere around here.

[Grace O'Malley]

Had money before, so I was like, yeah, we'll get some crab legs. This is sick.

[Theo Von]

You're as smooth as Tennessee shellfish. I. Yeah, that's wild, dude.

[Grace O'Malley]

I feel stupid. That's that new money, boy.

[Theo Von]

That's new money, dude. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's go to the crab legs.

[Theo Von]

This baby's getting a grill, and we're getting Tennessee crab legs.

[Grace O'Malley]

What else is like, a gay that I could get?

[Theo Von]

I'm trying to think of that we got like that or that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. What was your. What was your first new money buy?

[Theo Von]

Oh, I got a cyber truck was the only thing I've ever really gotten for myself. That was, like, expensive.

[Grace O'Malley]

Somebody was telling me about that, and they were saying that you thought that nobody would recognize you in that thing.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, that's what I thought it was. Yeah. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I thought everybody would have them, you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Know, and that's gonna make people do many double takes. Oh, it was once at the car, second at you.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it was.

[Grace O'Malley]

Sorry, once that you second for the car.

[Theo Von]

No, it was all horrible because. Well, whenever you first got them, I got home, I ordered, like, five years ago. Right. Like, it was. Because it was 100 bucks.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, that's like putting it on the wish list. Okay.

[Theo Von]

Right. So for 100 bucks, you could be like, I got a cybertruck coming. It was online. Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's rich people layaway. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

So I was like, yeah, I'm getting a cybertruck or whatever. And then I kept, like, bothering Elon on Twitter to, where are they? You know, give them.

[Grace O'Malley]

You know, Are you guys on. On a basis of, like, no talking? Okay.

[Theo Von]

No, I don't know him. I was just tweeting at him and stuff or, like, you know, saying stuff like that. And then finally one day I got home. I'd been on time for a few weeks, and it was in my garage.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, sick.

[Theo Von]

And so I was like, holy, dude. And at first when you would drive down the street, people would, like, there were people cheering people at American flags. There were Mexican. There were Mexican people out there doing this and dancing or whatever. That was crazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're like, where are you so happy.

[Theo Von]

For you people come from? You know? And you were just driving. But really they had like, we are the Champions. It was like gay people. People were coming out of the closet.

[Grace O'Malley]

In front of you, girls flashing titties.

[Theo Von]

It was a lot. Yeah, it was just a lot going on, you know, And. And, yeah, I did it. I thought it automatically would have extra darkness on the windows, you know, and it didn't. So for a long time, I thought it was like, it. Obviously it's. I can't. You know, I can just drop. You know, there was extra darkness. And then. And then my buddy was like, dude, you got to get those things tinted. I was like, oh, man, they're not tinted. And then so finally I did get them tinted.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, what was it? Run DMC or the. Or. I forget who it was, but they said tinted windows don't mean nothing. They know who's inside.

[Theo Von]

Really? Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So you're fucked. And. And so is the guy who waited five years for a cybertruck just to blow it up. What a science experiment.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, Somebody did that. Yeah, bring that up, dude. Actually, you know what's funny? I thought about getting, like, a big fuse and putting it, like, hanging out of mine.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah, that's a goodie.

[Theo Von]

Oh, he did it for 4th of July or he did it for New Year's.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's what it does look like. It does look like a spectacle. I think it was to a political point. In front of Trump.

[Theo Von]

Oh, in front of Trump Tower. Wow.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I think one person did die, so it's tough to find a joke there.

[Theo Von]

But, I mean, it was probably some Middle Easterns, like, getting a picture next to it. People are always like, can we get this? Can we? And you're just like, leave me alone.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm gonna blow a lid.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, don't come ask me. But the problem is the horn sounds a little bit effeminate, too.

[Grace O'Malley]

Does it?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, if you hit the horn, like, a couple gay dudes will kind of walk over.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, hi. It's all prostitutes that work the streets.

[Theo Von]

Do they?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, not even have to anymore.

[Theo Von]

Just some good. Where street walkers still in America. Can you pull that up, please?

[Grace O'Malley]

Because I've been looking. I've told my friends before, I don't get laid much. That's just a fact about me. But I told my Friends just surprise me with a hooker one day. And don't tell me it's a hooker.

[Theo Von]

A male hooker.

[Grace O'Malley]

A male hooker. They exist. I'm not sure.

[Theo Von]

I think that they. Yeah, definitely. I mean, there's, like, Italian guys, if that's what you're talking about. But what you're looking at, overall, Nevada has the largest commercial sex market in the United States when adjusted for population. Okay. Number of prostituted people. Nevada has more than twice as many prostituted people per capita as California and 63% more than New York. All right, so they still have brothels there.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right, so I'm moving. I'm moving.

[Theo Von]

Might have to go to Nevada to get it.

[Grace O'Malley]

There we go.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I wonder what would that be like for a. Right for a woman? Because I've gotten a. A lady of the night or whatever they're called. Mystical.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Just one time. Yeah. A mystical puss.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I got one in Amsterdam. Right. Where people go get them.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's where. That's, like, the prize. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

The red, like. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

The horse.

[Theo Von]

It is. It's like the Istanbul of, like, you know, midnight Cooter or whatever, you know? And so I went there and. Oh, here was the funny part. My buddy and I, both of us, like, snot, like, acted like we weren't gonna go there. So we both, like, went off by.

[Grace O'Malley]

Ourselves, like, all right, man.

[Theo Von]

Night, bud. And then saw each other. There were like, that's tough.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's when you just have to embrace it and then just do a force up or something.

[Theo Von]

But here was the sad part of it. You go in there and it seems like it's very alluring in the mirage of it is very compelling. But you go in there and right when you go in their door, because they're standing out there, and there's kind of some red lights inside of the room. You go in there in the main door, and there's like, a bouncer guy right there.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And he's very, you know, tough guy. And he says something real tough or something. And then you kind of go like that. And then you go into the room, and it's very much like a doctor's room. Like, everything's kind of, like, covered in, like, paper or plastic. It feels, like, classy. It feels like. It feels very clinical.

[Grace O'Malley]

Clinical. Okay. So it's routine. It's like an appointment.

[Theo Von]

Right. That's what it starts to feel like. So the magic of, like, any, like, you know, romance or whatever, you're looking.

[Grace O'Malley]

For lust and love.

[Theo Von]

I don't. I Think everybody probably.

[Grace O'Malley]

Probably looking for just, like, a wet willy.

[Theo Von]

No, I'm one of those guys who, like, would leave a strip club and be like, man, I think I. You know, I think there's a chance we're going to get her off the.

[Grace O'Malley]

Stage to give him a pep talk next time you go in, like, hey, Annabelle, Magic put you in community college, babe. You know, so much better than this. You could be so much more. Oh, wow. That sure is something.

[Theo Von]

So I think it's very hard, like, I can't get an erection, like, around broken glass or I can't get an erection. I'm realizing around, like, some environments like that that are so clinical.

[Grace O'Malley]

Have you ever spent a night in jail?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So that's, like, exactly that. How could you get.

[Theo Von]

Right.

[Grace O'Malley]

How could you get off? That feels like jail.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

With just a little silk.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's kind of crazy.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, It's a slightly silky jail.

[Grace O'Malley]

Silky jail. I would go to silky jail.

[Theo Von]

Smooth jail.

[Grace O'Malley]

Do you have a mug shot?

[Theo Von]

I don't know if I'm a mug shot. That's a great. That's a great question. If I do, it's in Mississippi or Louisiana. Off the check. That's a good thing to look up for.

[Grace O'Malley]

That would be sick merch.

[Theo Von]

Wow.

[Grace O'Malley]

Any day of the week. Is that supposed to be you? Damn. I'm sorry.

[Theo Von]

I can't believe.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then this one's just literally your. Your headshot. Not a mug shot.

[Theo Von]

Wow. Yeah, that's just a headshot. Go back up to.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, you're a tiny baby boy in that. In that blue shirt. 1.

[Theo Von]

Very young, very impressionable. There I am. What did I do?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, it was. It was kitty porn.

[Theo Von]

Oh, no. Kitty vids.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

K I T T Y. Oh, so it was meow. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right, no problem.

[Theo Von]

What about you? You been in.

[Grace O'Malley]

No. I'm dying to, though, because I. I would like. I would like a mug shot.

[Theo Von]

See you in there.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would. Yeah, it would be good. I think I'd run that a. Like a McDonald's.

[Theo Von]

I'd see you in there keeping stuff in your bra.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. And, like, they come to me and they gotta ask, like, oh, do you want red dye number two?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

You want some lipstick? Because that's what the girls do, and they go crazy.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. You want to watch McCall and I.

[Grace O'Malley]

You want me to thread your eyebrows with some. With. I don't know what they'd use.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. You want me to hide?

[Grace O'Malley]

But I'll find out.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I'll be the head of the market.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. You Want me to pull some Clairol out of your. Like, people smuggling makeup in there?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I mean, is Clairol still makeup?

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know what that is.

[Theo Von]

You don't? Not sure I could pretend Clairol. I thought it was a makeup company. Is it all right?

[Grace O'Malley]

Sure. It.

[Theo Von]

Do you. Yeah. Like, what is. What does love look like for you? What's your love life like? Do you have a. You have a boyfriend or you don't have a boyfriend?

[Grace O'Malley]

I do not have a boyfriend. I. I have.

[Theo Von]

I might have said that, too. Sorry.

[Grace O'Malley]

I've never had one, and I've never had one. I know. And it's like, everyone always does that, and it's like, ah, rats. Like, damn. Every single time, I'm like, oh, I should just let that person have that reaction because it is crazy. It is crazy. But I have to address it.

[Theo Von]

But it's also pretty special, though, I think.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. When I find that Mr. Special Guy, it's gonna be real good because I've waited this long, I suppose.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So. Yeah. 26 years.

[Theo Von]

You haven't missed them, have you? Do you feel like you've missed out on some good ones, or.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, no. They don't really. They don't really flock. You'd be. You'd be totally shocked that I'm not. I don't really scream, fuck me. Like, I don't really have fuck me eyes ever. So I think I'm more of, like, a bro to some people. Like, my way of flirting is, like, misogynistic.

[Theo Von]

Oh. Like, kind of. Yeah. Just being buddies.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Just being like, yo, dude, like, check out her tits. Or you can check out mine, if you prefer.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Kind of thing. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. So I haven't had luck thus far. Hence the male hooker.

[Theo Von]

Did you have a. Like, a high school prom date?

[Grace O'Malley]

He is now. I had to ask him. He was a year older, and he is now she. And we don't. I have. I've.

[Theo Von]

Is he straight still or in a woman, or is he now a gay woman?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm having a hard time picking up the pieces because we don't talk. You know, those people. You just have to be like, fix the clues in and see what they're.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

All about. Like, the little. The little clues that they put out there and then. I didn't go to my senior prom.

[Theo Von]

You didn't?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, it was one of those. I'm still waiting to get picked up for my senior prom in my head.

[Theo Von]

Oh.

[Grace O'Malley]

Foolishly, you know, one day.

[Theo Von]

Oh, but, yeah, dude. Yeah, that's definitely. I got stuck after the prom. This dude was crying, and he had borrowed his. His dad had left them a long time ago. And he borrowed his mom's business blazer and had those shoulder pads in it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, classy.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it was classy, but it was also just like a sign of the times, you know, like young men being raised by single moms and having to wear their mom's business blazer to the prom.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I guess I could have had it worse.

[Theo Von]

And it kind of broke. It was like. But he was bawling about something. He thought he looked like Damon Wayans or something, but some bullshit or whatever. I don't know. He was out of his fucking mind. And I was trying to get laid, but also be nice. So I was waiting to go see my girlfriend, but it was just a nightmare.

[Grace O'Malley]

But this was your buddy.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I know. I got stuck giving him a ride after prom.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, fuck.

[Theo Von]

To this party. And he started just ballin'damn.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's not that bad. Take the. Take it off. Just wear the T shirt.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Underneath.

[Theo Von]

But he's like, everybody says I look like Damon Wayans and I want to have my own life. And I was like, motherfucker, you don't look anything like David. Oh, no. He was kind of, like, tan or whatever. Like, you don't look anything like Damon Wayans, dude. You're closeted on a sexual. Just closet. We can go to this place.

[Grace O'Malley]

You wanted to wear that. You bought it.

[Theo Von]

Oh, he loved it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

He looked nothing.

[Grace O'Malley]

Was he balding? Like, what was the problem?

[Theo Von]

He did have a skinned head. And he had. You know, and he seemed kind of black sometimes, just for fun. But he was a great guy. Dang, that's. Yeah, I guess that's interesting. Sorry to. Sorry to act like that about that.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, that's actually. It's. I think it's hilarious.

[Theo Von]

But now, does it become a thing where you don't have a boyfriend? Because it's almost become a thing. Does that ever.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, like, I'm, like, too far in now, so it's like, I don't really. I'm not looking. I don't really give a. At this point. It' it's just. It is what it is. If it comes, it comes. But I would love to come one day and.

[Theo Von]

Are you saving yourself for marriage type thing? Are you still sexually active?

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, I would be if I could be if I had it coming towards me like that. Oh, my God. I'd be a whore. But I'm basically accidentally celibate, which is a beautiful thing. Really. Some women, they say, oh, it's so easy for a woman to get laid. They can have whoever they want. That's not true. There are some of us that have really hard time.

[Theo Von]

Really? I feel like I could name at least five or six guys that would definitely make love to you that I know firsthand.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, wow.

[Theo Von]

And have seen in the past two weeks, you know, wow.

[Grace O'Malley]

And you've got some cool pals or.

[Theo Von]

Just, you know, like, I. I mean, because. Yeah, I don't even. Yeah, but it's like, what am I even talking about? Is that a crazy thing to say?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, no. It's great to hear, actually. That just gave me a little bit of a boost, dude.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Are you kidding me, man? I know some people that would definitely probably knock you up even.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hell yeah. I know some people that would just be amazing. I was thinking about it the other night. I'm like, you know what? I'm so anti having a kid, but I guess if I had one, I would have to have it because that would be my only shot, you know?

[Theo Von]

Only shot at what?

[Grace O'Malley]

Having a child. Because if this one guy wants to bust it in, then I guess I gotta put one out, you know? It's like. It seems like a sad thing to people, but this is just my life.

[Theo Von]

No, great cat. Definitely. You know, I think there's a lot of semen heading your way in 2024.

[Grace O'Malley]

I can't wait to guzzle it down, my man. It's going to be good. But, like, it's. It's funny to not be a whore, but, like, really want to be. Yeah, there's something special about that.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because most whores, they don't want to be. They want. They want to be known for something other than their hole or their body.

[Theo Von]

But then they're just out there slurping or whatever to feel decent. Yeah, but at least you don't have to do that, huh?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I guess. I guess. But, you know, mouse wide open. I'll wait for my special day. I don't either. This.

[Theo Von]

I don't have a daughter, dude. This one don't have a daughter, dude. What do you do if your daughter is, like, a tramp and you're the dad?

[Grace O'Malley]

That's where you got to start.

[Theo Von]

Do you have a talk with him, you think? Have any of your friends ever? They're. They're like, damn, My dad had a talk with me because he knew I was, like, getting smashed so much or whatever, doing a lot of sex or whatever.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think when you start having the talk is when they develop more of a daddy problem. There's like, there's nothing you could do as a father. I feel like it's just like their decision to be what they want to do. Oh, I suppose. I don't know. I've never been a whore yet. Yet. So we'll see. You had a daughter. What would her name be?

[Theo Von]

Probably something from that Scarlet Letter book. What are some names in that book? Something from this. You know, the days when people used to die on long ship journeys type shit. You know what I'm saying?

[Grace O'Malley]

Hester.

[Theo Von]

That's beautiful, Hester. Maybe a pearl.

[Grace O'Malley]

Pearl.

[Theo Von]

Roger Chillingworth. That would be one.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Maybe I name her that.

[Grace O'Malley]

I got. I only have a boy name. If I were to have a boy.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, what do you have?

[Grace O'Malley]

I got Danger, but we call him Danny.

[Theo Von]

Danger.

[Grace O'Malley]

Danger.

[Theo Von]

And everybody in Boston named Danny anyway. No matter what their name is, it becomes Danny.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. You could literally be Roger, turn into Danny.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's my name. It's Roger, but they call me Danny.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, but this. This kid, he has to. Like, when he's filling out medical forms, he has to write Danger, but everybody knows him as Dan or Danny. Yeah, I think it's good.

[Theo Von]

That's a cool name.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. So bad.

[Theo Von]

And he could get a cool job. He could be. I'm trying to think of what. He could be anything.

[Grace O'Malley]

He could be the caution sign when you mop the floor. Yeah, it could be.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

A traffic guard. I feel like I'm blowing this. Am I blowing this?

[Theo Von]

This conversation?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

No, I feel like it, too.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Theo Von]

Do you feel like I am?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I feel like I'm blowing.

[Theo Von]

But you're doing great. I don't even think maybe I'm asking about the best.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think I'm too honest. Like, sometimes where I just have to be like. I feel like I'm this up.

[Theo Von]

No, I think it's interesting because I never really. I don't think. I'm not good at, like. I don't talk to women that much about sex stuff, so I think I.

[Grace O'Malley]

Never talk about sex.

[Theo Von]

I really.

[Grace O'Malley]

Just trying my very best, just.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, thanks for trying. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I have no personal experience, dude.

[Theo Von]

Well, hold on.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm like. I'm like writing a book report in a book I've never read.

[Theo Von]

We're gonna get somebody to come in here and just. Look, I'll do it like this and you guys just figure it out.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, dude, that's crazy.

[Theo Von]

You know, when I was growing up, I had a job cleaning out wishing wells over there in my parish and there weren't many of them. Yeah, I agree. You know, but I wasn't much of a worker as well. But I will say this, that wishing wells, they bring in big loot. You know the Trevi Fountain in rome collects over 1.5 million a year. Yep. What I'm saying is spare change really adds up. That's why I want to introduce you to Acorns. Acorns this episode is sponsored by them. Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start investing with the money you've got right now. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that fits you and your money goals. You don't need to be rich. Start with just $5 a day or even just your spare change. And here's the best part. Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bonus investment offer only available at acorns.com/theo that's a C O R N S.com/the oh get your $20 bonus investment now paid Non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Investing involves risk. The hypothetical calculations are for illustrative purposes only and are not representative of the performance of any Acorns portfolio and should not be used to predict the investment results of any customer. Acorns Advisors, LLC is an SEC registered investment advisor. View important [e-mail] the Even if you think it's a bit overhyped, AI is suddenly everywhere from self driving cars to molecular medicine to business efficiency. If it's not in your industry yet, it's coming fast. But AI needs a lot of speed and computing power, so how do you compete without costs spiraling out of control? Time to upgrade to the next generation of the cloud Oracle Cloud Infrastructure, or oci. OCI is a blazing, fast and secure platform for your infrastructure, database, application development, plus all your AI and machine learning workloads. OCI costs 50% less for compute and 80% less for networking, so you're saving a pile of money. Thousands of businesses have already upgraded to oci, including Vodafone, Thompson, Reuters and Sunoai. Right now, Oracle is offering to cut your current cloud bill in half if you move to oci for new US customers with minimum financial commitment. Offer ends March 31st. See if your company qualifies for this special [e-mail] the that's oracle.com Theo I don't even know what to ask about.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hey, how was your holiday?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's good. It was okay. I got a fever or something, you know, and so I was like. Everything was miserable, kind of.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I feel that. But I had an ear blowout. I can't hear out of this one.

[Theo Von]

Really?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Like, at all. Were you. You guys out on the water?

[Grace O'Malley]

I was on an airplane, and like, three weeks ago, it just. Just blue. And this is just a nightmare. I've never had it. I can't hear. Yeah, it's pretty brutal, but other than that, pretty classic of a holiday. Good stuff.

[Theo Von]

You spend time with your family?

[Grace O'Malley]

I did, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Nice. Are your parents still married?

[Grace O'Malley]

They shouldn't be. They can't afford the divorce. They looked into it, and so I'm just working really hard this year so they can get there.

[Theo Von]

Dude, that's such a great thing. If at the end of the year, you actually have a big divorce for them.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think they'll be stoked. Oh, yeah, It'd be really good.

[Theo Von]

And they still live outside of Boston?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And so you have. So just so my listener knows. So you. I know you, too, because we had Brianna Chicken Fry, and you guys had a podcast together.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And it's called Plan Brie Uncut. Plan Brie Uncut.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Theo Von]

And you guys don't have it anymore.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's no longer.

[Theo Von]

It's no longer.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Theo Von]

And so you guys. And you guys had been friends for a long time?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, we're friends forever. Okay. Since we were, like, in fifth grade.

[Theo Von]

Oh, wow. Kid friends.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's cute.

[Grace O'Malley]

Since we were little baby children.

[Theo Von]

That's sweet.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's sweet.

[Theo Von]

And. And have you guys kept a good friendship after? I know that. I know that there's been, like. I'm not trying to get into, like, the tumultuousness of things or whatever, but how is. How does that stand today? Because it must be tough to, like, have a business with a friend.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I was just. I've always just. Like, in 2020, she got the job at Barstool and, like, had to move to New York for it, and I was taking a semester off from college, and she was like, do you want to come with me? And I was like, yeah, fuck it. Why not? And so, like, I doordashed on foot when we got there and stuff, and, like, she slowly but surely, like, was trying to get me a job at Barstool.

[Theo Von]

Oh, really? So really hustling for you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. So, like, she, like, really like, like, stuck her neck out for me and, like, we ended up doing the podcast together after, like a year of living there. And it was just so much fun. We had a blast. It was always fun doing it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. A lot of Yalls clips are so great, dude.

[Grace O'Malley]

We would just shoot the shit. Good banter. But, you know, we're just. I think we're just going through a rough patch right now and we'll. I think one day we're going to figure it out.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

She's doing her thing, I'm doing my thing, and I still love her. So I'm being a politician right now.

[Theo Von]

Well, you know what's interesting is I've had times where I was, like, I was going through moments with friends and stuff, you know, and.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And most of them evened out over time.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

But the toughest part about it, like, was in the mo. Like the times where we weren't getting along or we're having differences that I didn't have my friend at times, that was really the shittiest part.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

It was like, even though I would have, like, a leg to stand on about why I was upset about stuff, sometimes it would. I'd be like. I'd be like, man, Scott, dude, I gotta call Scott right now.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, right.

[Theo Von]

I couldn't even call my friend.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm so fired up. I wanna. Then you get done with the conversation, like, oh, dude, you know who would really help me out with this? Exactly. Who I'm talking about. It's brutal. It's tough.

[Theo Von]

That was kind of the worst part sometimes was just hitting that type of moment. We're like, oh, man. Because it's hard to kind of have good friends, you know?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Do you still have pals from growing up?

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, I got some good pals from growing up, so. And then I've made more over the years. Kind of like people go through things. A lot of friends get married and stuff, and since I'm not married, you kind of fall into this weird place where you just become like, you're just friends. Who's with whoever's not married.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. That's kind of up.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

When does that start happening?

[Theo Von]

I would say probably in your 30s. It starts getting more like. Well, I guess it depends on where you're from. Like, where I'm from, L.A. people get married early.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Theo Von]

And so you lose a couple guys right out of the gate, and right after they get married, their hair falls out immediately. I don't know why.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, at least they locked it in beforehand.

[Theo Von]

That's true.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And maybe some of those guys know their hair is about to fall out.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. They have an idea. They're like, oh, I'm gonna lock it in.

[Theo Von]

Their bald dad is just having a conversation with them.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hey, buddy, it's time to get that ring and put the knee down.

[Theo Von]

Like, dad, I'm only 15, though. They always had that one kid that went bald way early, you know, and people would use him to buy alcohol. They're like, yes. What do you mean? He can't buy liquor and be like, he's only 20. Like, he's bald.

[Grace O'Malley]

Damn it. He just sucked out his 401ks5.

[Theo Von]

He rode here on his bicycle. You think a child is bald? Damn it.

[Grace O'Malley]

He's a dui. He already bought the booth. That's why he's on the bike selling the liquor diamond.

[Theo Von]

So. Yeah. But, yeah, I still have good friends from when I was growing up, I think. Yeah. And then I met, you know, it's been like, I think, like, since I work in business where I kind of travel around and stuff. You meet a lot more people probably than you do if you just stay in one. In a. Live in one town.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I. I do think everyone should get out of their some point because, like, you don't know what you're missing if you don't.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, I. I thought everybody was Catholic growing up. I never knew any Jewish people. I never knew anyone who was different. And I didn't find out till my junior year of high school that there's other religions. Oh, yeah, that's pretty.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. And you guys are so Catholic. Is the one with the priests. Okay. Yeah. The one where they're playing freeze tag with the kids, but they didn't tell the kids.

[Grace O'Malley]

And that's. That's where I thought I could get some, but.

[Theo Von]

Oh, really?

[Grace O'Malley]

They only like the boys. Oh, yeah. I've been trying every angle for years.

[Theo Von]

Anything you put eye black on or anything.

[Grace O'Malley]

I guess I could have shaved my head, but they see right through that with the test, you know? Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, it must be horrible in a pre sees tit. He's like, oh, good day, son.

[Grace O'Malley]

You shall not be blessed. I don't know what they say.

[Theo Von]

Oh, what are we talking about? Yeah, I never been. I'm trying to think if I ever been Catholic or not. I might have been. We were. Oh, we were Presbyterian for a while. I know. And then my mom got in a fight with somebody outside of the church once. And so then we. I think we were. I think we're Methodist or Sixth Methodist or something. I don't know how many there are. I gotta ask my mom.

[Grace O'Malley]

Is that like Mormon?

[Theo Von]

No, it's just like, you don't drive far to the church, wherever that one is.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. Yeah, sure.

[Theo Von]

Like the closest church or whatever.

[Grace O'Malley]

God, the lemonade stand church.

[Theo Von]

It was very. Yeah, yeah, it was. Yeah. It was like, okay, this is it, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it was like that, kind of. Yeah. But okay. So now. So you ended up in New York. Is that your first time you had lived in New York when you went there with Brianna?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes. Yeah. So I've been there for, like, four years.

[Theo Von]

And do you feel like you're fitting in there now, or is it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, now with. With stand up, I'm like. I'm like, oh, finally. I love New York. Like, I did. I needed, like, my thing and I finally found my thing.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And so I've been. I've been loving that and I was just too scared to do it. I was just being such a pussy.

[Theo Von]

About to get up on stage.

[Grace O'Malley]

To get up on stage. Yeah. And, like, even give it a whirl, like open mics and shit. I just wouldn't. But.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, because you're so endearing me. One of the things that I. That I always admire about you is just you being you is it's like, immensely charming to, like a. Like, it's like you can't help but not, like, want to follow along with your world. It feels like.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. That's really sweet. Thank you.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's a. It's. It's. It's great.

[Grace O'Malley]

I try to be like, like just myself and, like, open and honest. But my problem is I do this accent and it comes out only sometimes.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I've got like this Boston accent, but it's. Sometimes it's on, sometimes it's off. So people are like, you do in a fake accent. But I don't even know I'm doing it right, so I don't know who I am.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's kind of crazy.

[Theo Von]

If you don't know who you are, then you're a comedian. Then most comedians don't know who they are because that's why they're putting on a show there. Some of the show is there over time. They're trying to figure out who they are.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

They're trying to manage this presentation that they put to the world. You know, I think because, like, when they were young, maybe whoever they were didn't feel comfortable or ever in the world, so they started making this. Them.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And anyway, That's a little bit meta, I think.

[Grace O'Malley]

But what was the. Did you ever, like, there was ever a point in your life where you were like, oh, God, I. I want to be a performer.

[Theo Von]

Let me think about it. I liked. I liked when people laughed. I didn't. I didn't know. I didn't. I think I didn't. I never really trusted people that much, but I knew if they were laughing that they couldn't not like me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Like, I feel like it would be impossible to hate somebody and laugh at the same time, kind of.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Because you can't. You can't fake a laugh.

[Theo Von]

Right. You, You. But you. But if you're telling. But I would know.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I know a genuine laugh and I know a fake laugh.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And if you're just gonna hate me and be a dick, then you're not gonna laugh in general, and then I could wean you out.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. It's good.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. So I think there was something like that for me, probably. Do you think you kind of had that comedian thing like that, you know, that you wanted to be a comedian, or do you think that you just wanted to be a performer? Did you kind of know what it was like where you wanted to end up? And do you still know?

[Grace O'Malley]

I've always wanted to do stand up. I just didn't think I could. I didn't think it was an option. And there's a part of me that wishes that. And this is, I guess, serious, but there's a part of me that wishes I was able to get into stand up before anything else, because I just want to be. I don't want people to think I'm just doing it for shits and gigs to have this other thing. It's like, that's what my main focus is, and that's what I love. It just so happened that one came before the other kind of thing. And, like, I wish I, like, I don't know, got, like. Got more of the reps in before people started coming. Yeah, right.

[Theo Von]

Coming and coming to see you, which.

[Grace O'Malley]

I appreciate people coming and seeing, but, like, I really wanted to get. Get it right.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, I didn't even want you to stay the other night.

[Theo Von]

I was, like, over the set.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, one day. One day you could see it. Not yet. It's not there yet. But, you know, it's good enough to buy tickets, but it's not there yet for you. No. No shot.

[Theo Von]

Oh, it was just cool to see you and your friends in the green room. That was dope, dude. And just like, to see, like, just. I wanted to, like, kind of see what your energy was about going up on stage and. And the room was buzzing, man, people were so excited.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I think especially with podcasts and stuff, I noticed this. I've sat in the audience and watched some of my friends who are podcasters as well.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And you just want to kind of listen and be there in the room with them. You're like, I just. That's my person or that's my friend. Whatever it is. I. With them, I just want to be in the room while they' doing whatever.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, and I've done the. The podcast. Touring that shit is so easy.

[Theo Von]

Oh, you mean being on stage with just as your podcast?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, I never done that.

[Grace O'Malley]

So easy. You just. It's like you have segments. You do the same thing every night. You, like, you can switch around with jokes depending on the crowd. But compared to stand up, like, it's a walk at the park. It's like you're. It feels like stealing. You're stealing money from. From fans that adore you. It's like, it's not fair.

[Theo Von]

What?

[Grace O'Malley]

But I never made any money off of it.

[Theo Von]

Really far.

[Grace O'Malley]

Still took it all. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Off your tour.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

No way.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. We had. We had some. We had. I had an interesting contract.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

But I loved them so much.

[Theo Von]

Are you still working with Barstool?

[Grace O'Malley]

I actually just recently left.

[Theo Von]

Okay. So when you leave. So if you leave, that means do you still have your rights to.

[Grace O'Malley]

I didn't make anything when I was there.

[Theo Von]

Half your podcast. But you had a country. You got paid something annually.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. So I got. I had a salary.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

And that was. That was kind of it. And so I had the option to leave and I. I took it.

[Theo Von]

Was it a good salary?

[Grace O'Malley]

It was decent. It wasn't equated to.

[Theo Von]

Was it like, $500,000?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, nothing close to that. No. My. My buddy was making a little bit more. A lot of. Bit more. A whole ton more.

[Theo Von]

Okay. So there was discrepancy in power.

[Grace O'Malley]

There was, but she was doing another podcast and whatnot.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's right. So she was bringing a baby. Different client, different fans from that also.

[Grace O'Malley]

Y. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Got it.

[Grace O'Malley]

So it's all relative.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. And also some of that stuff is as much as it, like, it's like, it's live and learn sometimes.

[Grace O'Malley]

I also didn't care. I was just happy to be there.

[Theo Von]

Right.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, I was like, literally just. I. I was stoked to just have the job.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I was at one Point. I was working for free, selling T shirts, just paying for my own place. Yeah, it was crazy. I was like, yo, I just, like, really happy to be here.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Do it any way I can.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's about to grind.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. And I. You know what? I think no matter what and no matter what you get involved in, you have to go through that. You have to go through periods of that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And even with standup, you can't escape that. It's like you just have to, you know, get it on stage. We all. You know, it's like we all learn it. I still learn it. Every time I take some weeks off and go back on stage, it's like, God, this feels new and scary.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And my balls just hide inside of me.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's. I did. That's the new thing I'm learning is because I haven't taken time off this whole year, and with Christmas, I took, like, two weeks off, and I fuck talked myself big time. I was like, jesus Christ, this is bad. It's bad news biz. Those. Those shows, I don't know. They were fine, but they weren't great, I'll tell you that. It was tough.

[Theo Von]

What. What do you have, like, a closer? Like, do you have it set up? Like, are you telling stories? Are you telling more jokes? Like, what's your set like? Right now?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm kind of all over the place. I'm trying to find my. I'm trying to find my thing. I'm doing half jokes, half punches. The punches are corny.

[Theo Von]

Oh, some of the punches to the jokes are corny. I don't.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I don't know if you can tell, but I hate my entire set at the moment. I really think it could be a lot better, but that's what I'm doing. Dry January, when I hit the. Hit the ground running.

[Theo Von]

Oh, for sure.

[Grace O'Malley]

Try some new stuff now.

[Theo Von]

Do you feel like a comedian or do you feel like somebody that's pretending to be a comedian?

[Grace O'Malley]

I feel like I'm pretending, of course. And you can tell it's brutal. I'm like, I really want to be taken serious, but I can't even take myself serious. Fucking fool. I'm just foolish.

[Theo Von]

At least. You know what, dude? I'll pay to come watch you be dishonest. I will pay $42 plus fees. Okay. To come to. To come to a room and watch somebody be dishonest.

[Grace O'Malley]

Just, like, fucking sweating. Sweating through my pants. I'm like, it's really not as bad as I'm making it out to be.

[Theo Von]

Hey, but no, but I think, look, there's something about honesty. There's not as much of it in the world. I would literally pay to go to a room and watch somebody be honest with themselves about what's going on. I'm learning it. I think we all pretend to be something until we get the hang of it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. You know, I just, I mean I look up to you. I look up to like all, all, all you, all your buddies and.

[Theo Von]

Oh, we just been doing it longer. We're. We don't know the fuck we're doing.

[Grace O'Malley]

But you, you've got it and it's just. It's like so awesome to see. I just, I can't wait for the day I final, you know?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

When did it click?

[Theo Von]

I don't know. I mean, I think it like about 11 years. You start to be like, I don't know, there's some different moments. I mean. Thank you. That's sweet of you to say that. Yeah, I mean I definitely feel like I don't have a. Like this is like, it is my job now, you know?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

For a long time I didn't know if it was my job, you know, I felt like it was. But you keep going home like at Christmas and you don't have a real job and you. I'm a comedian. Like, like whatever, dude, you know, where's your husband?

[Grace O'Malley]

You know?

[Theo Von]

Cuz everybody just thinks you're homosexual, you know, until you get on some sort of television or platform.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, oh, he's actually very successful. Yeah, you should have been rooting them on. Good for him.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, maybe we'll scratch out these posters that we drew, you know.

[Grace O'Malley]

Wait, actually, will you sign this? Actually a huge fan.

[Theo Von]

Like it's a poster that says you're a. You held up at my show. But yeah, I'll sign it. Thanks, guy. So, yeah, I think there's like. So that kind of stuff gets tricky and then I think there comes a point where it's like you don't have anything else. And so it's like whenever you give up anything else. Like there were times I quit to do real estate. There was times I quit and I up like the third contract I ever did and I had to pay somebody's lease for like six months.

[Grace O'Malley]

How'd you up that bad?

[Theo Von]

Put myself as the guarantor or whatever.

[Grace O'Malley]

Crazy. That just takes one John Hancock to pay six months rent.

[Theo Von]

I had to go live with my girlfriend and I'm paying rent for these other. This is the worst part. I was going through Some weird sometimes. And I would pee in the sink at night at my girlfriends because I didn't want to pee loud and wake up the family, Right?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, with the family.

[Theo Von]

Oh, with the family. And the cat would go in there and like, mill around in a sink and snitch me out. The mom ended up knowing that I was urinating the sink.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's that talk sound like?

[Theo Von]

Oh, she said, it's your boyfriend been peeing in a sink.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's not the first boyfriend that's ever peed in the sink. She's kind of into it. The mom's into it.

[Theo Von]

I remember her daughter texting me, mom knows.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's what she said. But the piston in the sink, who knows?

[Theo Von]

Whatever, Grace, whatever. We're all going through it, I suppose.

[Grace O'Malley]

Not to.

[Theo Von]

You got. I mean, you're gonna figure it out. And I think it's interesting these days, I think, because I'll say this, there used to be more of stairways for how people got into comedy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Right.

[Theo Von]

There was like, obviously you got on stage, but then you got on different, like little. Like there was like a Comedy Central 10 minutes or there was like. Like these. Now there's like dry bar and different groups like that. But there was other small groups where you did comedy sets that they put out there. Right. And now a lot of that's disappearing. There was like. What was that late show? There were some late shows where you would just sit around in a panel. Right. Where people would start to build their name.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And now I think just a lot of, like, podcasting has kind of become that. It's taken the place of a lot of things.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's true. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Whereas before there was like, maybe more acting roles or things like that for. For comedy that. Because there's not even that many comedies now. Like, shows.

[Grace O'Malley]

Not really. No, not so much. I think that's. I think that's the new wave that they're trying to do right now is that they're trying to cast for a lot of comedy shows because there has been like a lull.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that's what I heard. So I think that you have to have some place where you start to build, you know, that's like an entertainment outlet. So I think podcasting is that, you know, I think it's just kind of become that.

[Grace O'Malley]

That and.

[Theo Von]

Or tick tock or some. Some sort of like just, you know, people's own social media, you know, because sure, you have the podcast, but then also the. The clips are kind of what bring people into your world a lot of times.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, that's true. That is truly true.

[Theo Von]

I don't feel like I'm preaching at you, do I?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, I'm listening. And I'm taking it all in because I was clearly. I need it. I need.

[Theo Von]

I needed all the information since you had a man in you. But this ain't. But you don't. Don't take any of my ideas. No, no. Don't take any of my. I'm not trying to give you any advice.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, that was. That was the advice. You don't. Don't take anyone's advice. Was it the other night?

[Theo Von]

Oh, good.

[Grace O'Malley]

You said. Oh, well, I just that up.

[Theo Von]

Because that's even advice.

[Grace O'Malley]

Huh.

[Theo Von]

Damn. What an idiot.

[Grace O'Malley]

I guess I haven't podcasted in a while. I'm pretty rusty. I'm usually. I'm usually good with the banter.

[Theo Von]

No, you're always great with the jokes. I feel like you're doing good. Your sister's here.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Shout out. Nora.

[Theo Von]

What's up?

[Grace O'Malley]

Nora's here. We're trying to figure out. So Nora just graduated from West Virginia University.

[Theo Von]

Wow.

[Grace O'Malley]

And we're trying to figure out what we're going to do with her. She needs a job, so I'm trying to think of what she can do. Do within the realm of working together.

[Theo Von]

So do you have some skill sets, Nora?

[Grace O'Malley]

Pretty much. I can edit. You can edit? Yeah. So we're thinking she. She's going to be doing, like, the social media side of things. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

So that'd be nice, just tagging along.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's good to have. It's good to have someone that knows you very well.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. And just find new things that are creative. That's just like, one of my goals. I start thinking of for this year. It's like, well, what things could I do that would be create, like. Like, would seem, like, unique or that I could try and be more creative.

[Grace O'Malley]

What do you. What do you got so far? Well, you have the. That movie is coming out.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Me and David Spade are making a movie.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're making a movie? It's. It's in the process of being made right now.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, we wrote it and we start making it in January.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's the writing process for that? Like, are you allowed to talk about it?

[Theo Von]

Yeah, we just. I mean, it took us, like, two years, and we try to get financing. Nobody wanted to help, and so we're making it ourselves.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, no. Yeah. That's sick.

[Theo Von]

So it's like. Yeah. I think I thought, like, I never wanted to be an actor. Or anything like that. And I. I don't really think that that is a world of mine, but I thought, like, if I look back and I was like, I get a chance to make. I got to do something with David Spade. Yeah, well, like, idolized.

[Grace O'Malley]

And you Skype and write or we would write together.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I still have my apartment in la, so whenever I'm there, we'll. We. We've worked on it over the years in tons of ways. Ways.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

But it's been fun. I can't even believe it. I definitely have learned a lot, and we think that it's funny, you know, but if I look, I'm laying in my deathbed or whatever.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I think it'd be neat to be able to say that I got to do that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Absolutely.

[Theo Von]

And also that I tried to do it, you know, because people may make it seem like, you can't do this. You have to have all these special people. Like, I haven't had an agent help me. Nobody's. And so that, to me is like the kind of. That I like. Like, you don't think I can do this? Watch me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, you. You know, I'll prove you wrong.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. There's nothing. The only thing. Difference between you and me is that you've done it already. That's the only thing that's fair. I don't know. That makes me activated for something locked in.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love to see that.

[Theo Von]

I don't know why.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, you're excited. You Jazz.

[Theo Von]

I don't know if I'm excited.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm angry.

[Theo Von]

To hide somebody's kneecaps in their ass.

[Grace O'Malley]

Dude, dude, you and Spade just spaded people.

[Theo Von]

I mean, it'll be. Look, if anything, I get to sit around with him for five weeks and. And laugh, and we have a good time, so it'll be sick.

[Grace O'Malley]

When do you know something like that's done?

[Theo Von]

That's the toughest thing is scariest, is that, like, you know, once you move on, you can't. There's no.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Like that scene or whatever is locked in.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You know, so. And I'm not a great actor. You know, it's like, I. You know, I'm gonna do my best. I have a plan, and. And I'm excited about what we wrote. You also worry that if you wrote it now and it comes out in seven months, will any of the. Will it joke still be funny? I'm sure that sort of thing.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm sure you guys are timeless. Timeless humor.

[Theo Von]

He does. I don't know what I'm Doing, dude. But he's definitely.

[Grace O'Malley]

So.

[Theo Von]

I don't know. It's. You know, it's just a lot of little things you learn, like, oh, this is maybe why I don't. This isn't something that I love. What did your mom get you for Christmas?

[Grace O'Malley]

My mom. My mom got me a megaphone for Christmas, and I got her a trip to Hawaii. So a little different.

[Theo Von]

And her dad, your dad, too, to go to Hawaii.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's. That's what's kind of up, I'm realizing. But my father and I, we have a. A tricky relationship.

[Theo Von]

Really?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And do you have any brothers? Does he have any sons?

[Grace O'Malley]

No. Even the dog's a lady, so. Yeah, the poor bastard. Everybody always says, but. But it's what he gets, he says. I guess he was a fucking asshole growing up.

[Theo Von]

So was he. To who? To women?

[Grace O'Malley]

It must be. Yeah, he must have been a fucking prick because he says, I deserve it. That's what I get. Four women and a lady dog.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

And what happened again? He was in a fire. What happened?

[Grace O'Malley]

He was in a. He was elect. Electrocuted. On the job. So he's the guy when the lights go off in the city, he turns them on and he got zippity Zap and pop. Now we're. Now we're doing the same drugs. He takes. He takes. He does ketamine therapy.

[Theo Von]

Does he really?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. And I. He does his in a doctor's office, and I do mine under the Brooklyn Bridge. It's a little different. Yeah, dude.

[Theo Von]

My buddy Ernest used to do it in a car wash all the time. He'd call me, like, how are you doing? He's like, ketamine, it's raining. Wow. And is your dad kind of a romantic guy still? Do they still have a romantic relationship? Your parents envision him?

[Grace O'Malley]

Just absolutely no picture. Like any Irish guy with like a scally cap about, like, yay high, wide one, one dead tooth.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, the old Andrea Gale, huh?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes. Chewing tobacco. But he doesn't care anymore. It's just all in his teeth.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, it's just all like a salad bar.

[Grace O'Malley]

Confetti, Confetti. Tobacco all over confetti. It's like every day's a party in his mouth.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Like that guy, just whistling tunes. Just. Just whistling the soundtrack of the departed all the time.

[Grace O'Malley]

Just rehearsing for lines he doesn't even have. He just always wanted to be a mobster.

[Theo Von]

Who's on the ball? Who was on your bost? Mount Rushmore.

[Grace O'Malley]

We've got Ben Affleck.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Matt Damon. And then it used to be. It used to be Marky Mark, but I. He kind of lost me because he wakes up too early in the morning. Praise and gets. Gets too swollen. Too early?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Got him. Got bizarre. But he was also selling liquor, too. That was a strange. I was like, you're. It's selling a liquor, but you're also up so early. How do you know?

[Grace O'Malley]

His hands are in too many baskets. I don't trust him. He has his hands in too many things.

[Theo Von]

Does he seem like. Do you think he still has the pulse of the streets in Boston or. No?

[Grace O'Malley]

Nah, I think he lost that. He went full Hollywood.

[Theo Von]

He might have.

[Grace O'Malley]

He lost us.

[Theo Von]

He moved to Vegas now, I think. I think he lives in Las Vegas.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Nice guy. Busy man.

[Grace O'Malley]

Busy. He's busy.

[Theo Von]

Done a lot.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes. And it starts early on. Beating the shit out of an Asian guy. All that jazz.

[Theo Von]

He did that.

[Grace O'Malley]

He did that.

[Theo Von]

Oh, I didn't know all that. Oh, you can't get caught.

[Grace O'Malley]

He's not stopping Asian hate at all.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. And that's a shit. Yeah, the brothers picked it up a couple years ago. I remember when the brothers was zapping Asians everywhere.

[Grace O'Malley]

Were they your brothers with the brother brothers?

[Theo Von]

The brothers was zapping Asians everywhere. And the news kept being like, asian people are under attack. They're like, yeah, my brothers.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was the brothers and my father. My dad just is Sparky now.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, Your dad's like that guy who just walks across the floor like this and he's like, remember doing that shit to people?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah. I get people good. I used to. My favorite thing to do to fuck with someone was pass the milk carton around and say, oh, you sit on it. It's all right. And then you give it to the biggest person and you know it's going to explode.

[Theo Von]

They sit on the milk carton, it opens.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, People did that to me.

[Theo Von]

Really?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. It wasn't me who was doing that to people.

[Theo Von]

Would you ever. Would it open under you or not?

[Grace O'Malley]

Always. Every time. And I fell for it every time. It was foolish. I got jumped a lot growing up.

[Theo Von]

You did?

[Grace O'Malley]

I did, yeah.

[Theo Von]

By whom?

[Grace O'Malley]

One time. From a black man.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

That was good. That was at a 21 Savage concert.

[Theo Von]

That's the old. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

That's the Irish hello right there. Yeah, it was at a 21 Savage concert.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. He was kind of windmilling me, and I was pissing pants, crying. And then all of a sudden, 21 Savage said, Yo, y'all wilding down there. Y'all gotta chill. And I'm like, can you help? It was crazy.

[Theo Von]

Were you wilding or you were not?

[Grace O'Malley]

I was getting wilded on.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry that happened, you know, it's brutal. And it was. It was good, though, because my buddy didn't even try to help the girlfriend. The girlfriend of the guy who was punching me said, nah, just let it happen. And she did. She. She let it happen.

[Theo Von]

No way. Way. So there wasn't even any female support?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, it was just. Yeah, it was just a baby girl.

[Theo Von]

That's tough.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. No, it's quite the story, though. I went to school the next day with a black eye. From a black eye.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So that was nice.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Like, oh, you. Oh. Then they say that's cultural appropriation. You're like, give me a break, dude.

[Grace O'Malley]

I just pretend it was from sex.

[Theo Von]

Oh.

[Grace O'Malley]

I just keep running back to that.

[Theo Von]

Well, I'm sorry that some. Yeah. You got abused by a brother like that.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's all good.

[Theo Von]

You could have got knocked up, though.

[Grace O'Malley]

That would have been nice.

[Theo Von]

Have you dated a lot of black men over the years?

[Grace O'Malley]

No. Dating is. What.

[Theo Von]

You haven't dated either?

[Grace O'Malley]

No.

[Theo Von]

What?

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, like, I've been on. I've been on three dates. Are you serious? Like, the last date I went on, he recorded inside my house. So I said, I think I'm good for now.

[Theo Von]

Oh, for now? Yeah. Two weeks later, you're like, let's run it back.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, yeah, dude, just, you know, lock your camera up, I guess. Yeah. So that was brutal.

[Theo Von]

I gotta think of somebody good to set. Well, now, that's sad. I shouldn't have said that.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, it's all right. Another date, I went on. I was talking about it on the podcast, keeping it very ambiguous. I didn't want any feelings to get hurt. But he showed up hammered. And I thought. I thought that he was, like, just wicked, drunken slurring his words. Well, it turns out he had a speech impediment. And I didn't realize, and I didn't pick up on that. And he sent me a very long text. I have a speech impediment, and I don't know why. Very long? Yeah. He said, I didn't know why you didn't like the champagne I bought you at the dive bar. Said, oh, I'm sorry. I guess we just want different things.

[Theo Von]

Ugh.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't have a good track record.

[Theo Von]

Well, yeah, I think you do. I think it's just, you know, I think I Would I have no idea.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes, papa.

[Theo Von]

I know. I'm not gonna fucking tell you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Dude, dude, it's quite all right.

[Theo Von]

No, we're gonna get some real dogs in here to smash you, Gracie.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hell yeah. Have you seen that girl? Have you seen that girl who got railed like, by like 150 guys?

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, I saw that. I don't know how I feel about it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know what to do with that. It's just. Is a. It's just a thing that happens.

[Theo Von]

But she's almost like the Evil Knievel of like.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, she's kind of doing like magic. Like, I don't know, she's like adding time. She's doing daylight savings or something.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, she's.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's a lot of time spent.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. It just seems crazy. And then what are you really doing? It's almost just like. Like if people are just running and just. Just kind of jousting themselves into your vagina real quick and then we're running.

[Grace O'Malley]

Off, it's like a meet and greet with their dick out. Yeah, yeah. Just like. Next.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Lily Phillips is her name.

[Grace O'Malley]

She's gorgeous British. Only British girl. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Well, I wonder if this is the thing you're starting to see because of only fans, like, people are having to start to one up each other.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Well, this is going. The extra goddamn mileage. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I don't know if I. I don't know if I would even enjoy something like that, you know, Like, I mean, even if you were doing it, you know, we're like, I'm gonna make love to 100 women. I'm like, at like 11 women. I would definitely want to chill. Have a Gatorade or something.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. He's like, yeah, like, what's. I don't know why I was gonna ask. Listen to some Scott Stamp or whatever.

[Theo Von]

Did you see that Scott Stab that? Their band has made more this year than they ever made before.

[Grace O'Malley]

Who did?

[Theo Von]

I thought that was pretty interesting. Bring that up, brother. There goes my hero. You know that song?

[Grace O'Malley]

Watch out. Wow. He goes, yeah. Is that it? Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Blue Chew, baby. New year. Same wiener buddy. You know it. Bluechew wants you to have better sex. They do. Bluechew is the original brand offering chewable tablets. These erection enhancing tablets help men achieve stronger, harder and longer lasting erections for sex. Bluechew is putting its money where its mouth is and offering you a month free. Bluechew tablets are made in the USA. The process is simple. Sign [e-mail] consult with one of their licensed medical providers. And once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. The best part, it's all done online. That means no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, no waiting in line at the pharmacy. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try your first month of BlueChew free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Today's episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. You know, it's a new year here in the, in the world and that means that you might have the same problems. That's what I'm noticing for myself. I've got some of the same things and I'm not getting into self pity, but I'm just noticing, hey, some of this stuff, I keep carrying it. I keep carrying. I don't want to have this luggage anymore. You know, I even met with a therapist today and, and was going talking about some of those exact same things. Better Help is offers therapy. Better Help is fully online making therapy affordable and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. Life isn't about resolutions that fade by February. It's about picking up the pen and becoming the author of your own life. And you can think of therapy as an editorial partner. Write your story with better help. Visit betterhelp.com t h e o to get 10 off your first month. That's better. H e l P betterhelp.com t h e O Dude, your friends were so funny the other night.

[Grace O'Malley]

So. Yeah, those are my friends from growing up. What, what I didn't realize was one of my friends, she's a really big fan. And her, her boyfriend who was sitting next to you, he's, he's an even bigger fan of yours.

[Theo Von]

That guy, I think one of his lips was sweating a little.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, he was losing it. And she had her phone out and she did exactly what I asked her not to do. And she had her flash and she recorded a video and I was like, she thought she was taking a picture.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[Grace O'Malley]

And she actually took a video and it was like three seconds long of her boyfriend saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's all right.

[Theo Von]

Right over the scary part to record your whole conversation just because then you don't even know what you've said.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, I don't say something crazy.

[Theo Von]

We're having a good time.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I would have, I would have had to delete that. I was so upset. You know, like you ask your friends to do one thing. Just please don't do that one thing. And they do that one thing.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I was like, ah, that's being alive a lot. Being alive is. They made. They made it interesting here. Right here. Creed reached their highest calendar year earnings in 2024, grossing 64.8 million from 825,000 tickets across 55 performance.

[Grace O'Malley]

Damn.

[Theo Von]

That's their highest calendar year earnings. That. Is that ever. Is there any more information with it?

[Grace O'Malley]

So Cree's never been hotter than right now.

[Theo Von]

That's crazy to think because didn't. Weren't they playing stadiums before?

[Grace O'Malley]

You know, it would be a good idea. I've been saying this is. There should be a comedian at a half at the halftime for the Super Bowl.

[Theo Von]

It's a horrible idea.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I want to do it. You do? Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Grace, you would be.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would fail miserably.

[Theo Von]

You think you would?

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know, maybe give me, what, 11 years.

[Theo Von]

Oh, 11 years. Yeah. I thought you talking about in a couple of months.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, right now? No, no. God, no. No. I could pull that though, if I wanted to.

[Theo Von]

It'd be hard. I think it would be way too scary.

[Grace O'Malley]

It would do like half music, half. You gotta find like. Like the good, happy medium between fireworks, music and jokes.

[Theo Von]

It would be. Yeah, I think it feels like it'd.

[Grace O'Malley]

Be like the worst thing that's ever happened at the super bowl thus far.

[Theo Von]

It'd be brave of you. I would. I would pledge allegiance to that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Salute on that.

[Theo Von]

That would be intense.

[Grace O'Malley]

There goes my hero.

[Theo Von]

Does Creed even sing that song?

[Grace O'Malley]

No idea. Truly. It always.

[Theo Von]

But yeah, it says right there, Creator earned more money in 2024 than they did in any other year over the 30 year career.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, so they've never been hotter. Good for them.

[Theo Von]

My hero. Oh, no. It's my Foo Fighter.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh. What's Creed?

[Theo Von]

Who knows?

[Grace O'Malley]

Dude, I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but I saw a Kid Rock the other night on New Year's. He looked like he was about to.

[Theo Von]

Like he'd been through it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. He looked like crack rock. Dude, pull up that video of him from the other night.

[Grace O'Malley]

Dude, I. No, I was. I saw him with my own eyes. Eyes.

[Theo Von]

Oh, you did?

[Grace O'Malley]

And he looked like he was about to. He was about to go out on a stretcher. Is that always. The thing is that is kind of his deal.

[Theo Von]

That's not always a thing, but.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, did somebody get a video of him? Yeah, this is it.

[Theo Von]

He definitely.

[Grace O'Malley]

He looked a lot worse upstairs.

[Theo Von]

He's Pretty healthy right there. Good. Yeah, a good drinking night out.

[Grace O'Malley]

He was shaking. Shaking good. I. You know what?

[Theo Von]

Was he up. Was he singing?

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't want problems with Kid Rock, actually.

[Theo Von]

Did he go sing? Oh, he.

[Grace O'Malley]

He's the best.

[Theo Von]

He's the best at taking jokes and telling jokes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, good. All right.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, he had a good time.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I almost met him for dinner that night, actually.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, really?

[Theo Von]

Ever spent time around him?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, just. Just that. That one high and by kind of thing.

[Theo Von]

You should do his comedy festival. He does a comedy show here every year. The rhyming is for charity.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, no.

[Theo Von]

It'd be fun to get.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

If you wanted to. If you. If you guys got to meet and you guys got along. I'm trying to think.

[Grace O'Malley]

You think he'd. With me?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Are you with me, sweetheart? Yeah. All right, I'm with you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Cool.

[Theo Von]

Cool. I'm a fan.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right, let's go.

[Theo Von]

I think you're. Yeah, I'm curious to see. Yeah, I'm just excited to be along for the ride and see what goes on.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Thank you, man. I'm really pumped for your movie. That sounds like really exciting stuff. So when do you start filming that?

[Theo Von]

We'll see. January 10th. Yeah, I don't want to think too much about it because I think it's. What if it's horrible and then it's like you have to put it out.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah. Just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. Don't talk about it.

[Theo Von]

Just.

[Grace O'Malley]

Just do it. Real GS move in silence. Like lasagna. Yeah, that kind of.

[Theo Von]

So that's the kind of. We're doing. I'm trying to think of. You have a new podcast coming out or. It's out already.

[Grace O'Malley]

Coming out.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

I want to talk about that with a. A new network. Have you heard the Unwell Network?

[Theo Von]

Yep. With Alex Cooper.

[Grace O'Malley]

Right, Alex Cooper.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

I never thought a day in my life I'd be a diversity hire, but it's all blonde hair, blue eye, pretty girls there, so.

[Theo Von]

So are you considered a diversity hire?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Why? Because you're burn.

[Grace O'Malley]

Redheaded redhead, and I just bring a different kind of flavor, so.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. Bay leaf. Huh? Back bay leaf. Do they have back bay leafs?

[Grace O'Malley]

I think they might.

[Theo Von]

Grace Valley is officially unwell, so that means you're officially working with their network. So that's happened.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's happened. Yes. So that happened, like, right before the new year, and then.

[Theo Von]

Did you know that was coming? Was there?

[Grace O'Malley]

I. They hopped on it quick.

[Theo Von]

So you already separated from the. From your previous podcast? Before this happened?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes. And so I. That happened on. I left Barstool on Sunday, and then I got to call Monday, and we had papers signed by Thursday.

[Theo Von]

Wow.

[Grace O'Malley]

So it moved pretty quick, which was kind of crazy.

[Theo Von]

And is it a better deal than you had at Barstool?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, that's good.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I'm excited about that.

[Theo Von]

You feel good about it?

[Grace O'Malley]

I feel good, yeah. Except the one thing I'm concerned about is I don't have health insurance anymore and I'm going deaf in my left ear.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. It's true, huh?

[Grace O'Malley]

So I'm gonna have to figure that out.

[Theo Von]

And especially if you start taking on a lot of kicks this year, you're probably gonna need some help.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, right. You know, maybe a couple of plan B pills and whatnot.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. Get you a little. Couple grams of Plan B. Yeah, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'll get it from Kid Rock.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, get it something from that ditch on you, dude. He'll sell you something, bro. Should do a powder, huh?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Would it be to do a line of Plan B?

[Grace O'Malley]

Dude, I would rip that left and right if I had the sex. Bye. I had. I had my first crazy fan bring me a bag of cocaine to my show the other night. Yeah, that was good.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

They know I like this stuff, but they wrote we love you so much on a bag of cocaine, which I thought was hilarious.

[Theo Von]

So cool.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's just interesting.

[Theo Von]

Were you able to use any of it or not?

[Grace O'Malley]

I preferred not to, just because the circumstantially it was unknown where the origin comes from. Yeah, absolutely.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude. My buddy's aunt used to fucking shed that like a hole in her throat or whatever. And they used to boof cocaine. Right?

[Grace O'Malley]

That's awesome. That's sick.

[Theo Von]

Rocket that. I want to get there right through that little bird.

[Grace O'Malley]

You got to be doing something right to get to that point.

[Theo Von]

Right through that little birdhouse door she had on her neck hole.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's cuckoo.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, she had that little birdhouse door. What else is going on? What else is happening in the news right now?

[Grace O'Malley]

Reaction.

[Theo Von]

We have not confirmed that the explosion was caused by very large fireworks and or a bomb carried in the bed of the rented cyber truck and is unrelated to the vehicle itself.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, it could have been a fun time. Or terrorism.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, dude, the toughest thing about a cyber truck. What do you drive, Grace? What do you drive?

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't have a license.

[Theo Von]

You don't have your license?

[Grace O'Malley]

I live in New York.

[Theo Von]

Oh, you don't need it, huh?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I used to have it But I just let it expire. I used to drive. I used to drive and I had a Lincoln 2002 Lincoln Presidential Town Car. Which is either an elderly person or a pimp. I don't know if you've ever seen those bad boys.

[Theo Von]

Very prestigious.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah. Three in the front, three in the back. That was the fucking cruiser. We loved that thing. It was awesome.

[Theo Von]

Whipping that bitch boy.

[Grace O'Malley]

That thing was classic.

[Theo Von]

Whipping. Workin that son. That thing's awesome.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Still smell like my dead grandpa.

[Theo Von]

Oh yeah. All right, papa. Yeah, he's in that for the.

[Grace O'Malley]

I couldn't wait for him to croak to cop that thing.

[Theo Von]

You ever are. Didn't you ever make out in your backseat of that car with any men or anything like that? I mean, I'm sure you had some dates, huh?

[Grace O'Malley]

We had plenty of room for it, but I never did.

[Theo Von]

God. And Nora, you don't coach her on dating or anything.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's hopeless. Well, it's fine. I'm not worried about it.

[Theo Von]

Right.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm not worried about it.

[Theo Von]

But it's just been something that's been in your life now. What if a man came along and he's looking for marriage? Do you think that that's something you would actually consider? You think?

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, at this point it's starting to be like. Well, the older I get and the bigger reaction that I get when I tell people I've never been in a relationship is when I start to think, yeah, I think the next guy will probably be for a.

[Theo Von]

Might be, huh?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. He could be a real prick too. No, I gotta lock it down.

[Theo Von]

He better be a prince. He better be. And there's got to be some. I'm trying to think of like what's your ideal man? Or to even have that. Such a dumb question, isn't it?

[Grace O'Malley]

Who gives a it? I'll. I'll tell this story. I had a crush on Shane Gillis for a little bit.

[Theo Von]

Oh yeah?

[Grace O'Malley]

Big crush. And I had met him at. At my work and I just word vomited. I was talking to him and I dropped a sandwich that I was eating and he said, are you gonna pick that up? And I said I gotta go. And I just left. Oh yeah, that kind of thing. And I just kept running into him.

[Theo Von]

You pick it up, white boy. That kind of shit.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, I just got really nervous that I wasn't playing cool at all.

[Theo Von]

Oh, it wasn't a stacked tactics.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no. I just. I just. I scrammed out of there. But I just kept running into him that month Like, a lot. And it looked like I was stalking him. And it ended with, he hosted Saturday Night Live Live. I was at the after party, and I'm like. I'm looking at him. I'm like, don't look at him. Don't look at him. And I looked at him, I go, hey, congrats tonight, man. He's like, yeah, thank you so much. I said, yeah. Bet you're gonna get mad tonight, bro. Oh, yeah, I don't. You're not supposed to say that one. And he said, what? What did you say? And I said, ah, see? And I just left the bathroom line. I bought him a beer because I felt good.

[Theo Von]

No, I respect your fucking move.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's how I flirt.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. You want this pussy? You're never gonna get it, Whitey. Don't you come honky, honking around this thing, around this little fucking kitty chamber. Whitey. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's just, like, a really great example of how I operate.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So it all makes sense. Right?

[Theo Von]

I feel you. Sometimes I would get so nervous. I followed a woman one time for, like, seven or eight blocks, and I finally caught up to her, and I was like. I was so nervous. I just was like, I'm not following you. That's what I said. Walked off.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I'm not following you.

[Theo Von]

And someone was uphill. It was, like, obvious that I was falling. My face was all wet.

[Grace O'Malley]

She started running.

[Theo Von]

Huh?

[Grace O'Malley]

She started running fast.

[Theo Von]

No, she's moving quick, kind of, you know, with pace or whatever. Yeah. Shane just won Cracker of the Year.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah. Is this. This is. This is a new one by him. Right. By Mr. AB. I don't know.

[Theo Von]

What is this AB?

[Grace O'Malley]

He's got. He did, like, a whole. Like, he was giving awards out to everybody this year.

[Theo Von]

Oh, he was?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Antonio Brown.

[Grace O'Malley]

Funny. Yeah, funny as crap.

[Theo Von]

Somebody said, winner got to use the N. It did. That was his thing. Winner got to use the N word. Is that what Antonio said? One time. Something.

[Grace O'Malley]

I got. I got a new goal for next year.

[Theo Von]

You do?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

This is it.

[Grace O'Malley]

This is it.

[Theo Von]

Cracker of the Year.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, you get to say the N word.

[Theo Von]

I think you can do it once.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right.

[Theo Von]

It's not like you don't even. It's not even like, a month.

[Grace O'Malley]

Not that I want to. It's just, like. It'll be a nice perk.

[Theo Von]

No. Yeah, you should. You just got to be a prize.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I wonder if you could say it, like, in public, or does it have to be alone in the shower or something.

[Theo Von]

I mean, you Can I. I don't. I don't say it. I mean, I'll think it sometimes loudly or whatever, but you will not. Not. I'm not that guy. Somebody in our town used to write it down all the time and throw it in. Like, put a message in a bottle and throw it out into the water.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then it go downstream.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. And then, like, some dad and his kid are just walking along the stream and the kid finds it.

[Grace O'Malley]

He's like, what's this historic artifact?

[Theo Von]

It's just sad that that kind of.

[Grace O'Malley]

Is just, like, unfortunate.

[Theo Von]

It's that kind of that's ruining our waterways. That's what I'm saying. Have you ever been in a contest? You've ever won? Did you ever win, like, a Most Talented or Funniest contest?

[Grace O'Malley]

No. I've lost pretty much everything I've ever tried to do. But, you know, you can't let that stop you. I lost Class Clown to some girl who dropped out of high school. Yeah. So we did them at the beginning of the year, and she was not there to receive the war. The award at the end of the year.

[Theo Von]

You should have to be able to. You should have to stay in school to even be able to do it.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's what I'm saying. It wasn't fair. And I don't think I was eligible because of just being a. I had, like, a 1.5 GPA.

[Theo Von]

Oh, you were not educated.

[Grace O'Malley]

I was. I was not. I was. I was too worried about having fun and cracking jokes.

[Theo Von]

Oh, so you were part. You were having a good time.

[Grace O'Malley]

I was blasting off. Yeah. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I wasn't as, like, much of a lose. I just wasn't getting laid. But I was. I was cool.

[Theo Von]

But you.

[Grace O'Malley]

I was having fun.

[Theo Von]

And were you getting wasted at parties and stuff and, like, having you?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, absolutely. People didn't like having me around because if you got stuck with me, you would have. You would be dragging me out of the woods.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I would fall flat.

[Theo Von]

Oh, really?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You were just.

[Grace O'Malley]

I was just.

[Theo Von]

The party stops here, boys.

[Grace O'Malley]

Tree falls in the woods. You're going to hear it. It's Grace.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We used to have this guy in our town, this fella. He had, well, a lot of Irish. They've always equated the ir. Like, I don't want to say, like, a step up from having down syndrome, whatever, but it's popular, right? Like, we had a guy in our town. I've told this story before, but he had down syndrome and his mom didn't know It. Right. Never got the paperwork or the blood test or whatever. And so she just thought he was Irish, right? She thought he's Irish and she's like buying him all this ball.

[Grace O'Malley]

Talking about Shane, huh? This wasn't.

[Theo Von]

This wasn't Shane. Shane. Rob. Shane probably knows the guy. But this was just a local DS guy, you know. Oh. But his mom would get him all this Boston Celtic and Notre Dame. I was like, you know, and our. The train that came in our town didn't even go to Boston to. It probably never go to Boston. But that whenever he would misbehave, whatever, they would put him in this baby crib. Even when he was an adult and he had this thing where he just would not go out of it. He would stay in the crib. Like a playpen. Not a crib, but like a baby's play little area or whatever. And he would stay in it. Even like, you know, 14, 15 years old. Yeah, something like that. What else did I see recently? Oh, there was the lsd. Diplo.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. Diplo trips on lsd.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's the most. I'm so curious. What's the most conventional place you've done lsd?

[Theo Von]

Now? Right now?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Please. Oh, my God. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Grace O'Malley]

Please tell me.

[Theo Von]

Look at Anderson. He's probably getting sick from being. Could be from gay from. Yeah, Diplo is definitely. Every time I'm in Las Vegas, I see that guy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. I'm surprised.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, he loves the party. That's so brave, dude. To go on live television on lsd.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God. I'd kill myself. I really would. That's so scary.

[Theo Von]

I would smoke my own nuts, bro. I could not even. Dude, I would take my penis off and just hide it in somebody's face, dude. I could not. I would freak the out, dude.

[Grace O'Malley]

He was playing it so cool too.

[Theo Von]

So cool. Cool.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would. I would have been scratching my eyes out, like. Yeah, I. I can't. I did it one time.

[Theo Von]

You did?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You did lsd. What, when you were on camera?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I wasn't on camera. No, I just, like, in general. Did it one time. I didn't.

[Theo Von]

Like, only one time. And where did you guys go?

[Grace O'Malley]

It was after a long day of partying and we. We ripped it at 3 in the morning. So it was a really bad idea. Yeah. Really bad idea.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I. I won't be doing that anytime soon. But Molly's. Molly's a lot better. She's a sweetheart heart.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I like her.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. Molly's the other one. Yeah, I remember throwing a bunch of rocks at bunch of grass or whatever. We thought there was, like, these little people in it or whatever. And we. We thought we kept hearing them yell every time we throw the rock in there.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was just children.

[Theo Von]

Oh. Half my buddies in the morning, half my buddy's driveway was in that. In his yard. Dude, we're all sweating. Our shoulders were hurting.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was like the neighbors.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, just. Just. They had, like, these elephant ear things in the ditch. And we thought that, like, we kept throwing these rocks, and I was like, listen, you can hear these people scream when you throw it in there.

[Grace O'Malley]

Get devious on that. That's not. You are not a one love hippie on lsd.

[Theo Von]

We threw a eighth of a dump truck of driveway gravel into that ditch.

[Grace O'Malley]

Started eating it.

[Theo Von]

And I'm trying to think of some famous LSD trips. I mean, I had some good ones. I had one where I, like, was in lsd. I took mushrooms to a party, and a lot of people had never taken them. And I gave them all to them, and I was like, let's play hide and go seek. And I just counted and they all went and hid, and then they were.

[Grace O'Malley]

All alone with their thoughts.

[Theo Von]

I never looked for any of them.

[Grace O'Malley]

Wait, that's classic.

[Theo Von]

I'm still never.

[Grace O'Malley]

You are devious.

[Theo Von]

I've still never looked for him. Yeah, them. Dude. If they can't handle that mountain lion, then get out of the.

[Grace O'Malley]

Can't handle their own goddamn thoughts, and they can get the.

[Theo Von]

Out of my face and get out in the forest. Big dog, huh? If you don't want to link up, then get out the food chain.

[Grace O'Malley]

So that's how you, like, tear your friends. Like, who can handle it? Who can handle being alone? Who can do their jobs?

[Theo Von]

My favorite thing ever. I used to be with my buddy Jeffrey and Scotty and Nate. We'd all be outside smoking. Smoking dope or whatever, smoking flour, weed or whatever. And I'd come back in a few minutes early and. And Jeff's dad would be always sitting in the house, just reading the newspaper or whatever. And I come in, I'm like, Mr. Mike. They. Let's go. Just. Jeff was being kind of. I don't know, like, he just. He kept taking his shirt off or whatever. And Mr. Mike had issues with, like, gay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I saw that coming.

[Theo Von]

So the second I was like. He had his shirt off. Whatever. He, like. You could. You could feel his teeth just climbing over his tongue through the newspaper. Right? And so I would just plant that seed, dude. And I would just go and they would come in. They'd be stoned out of their brain. They'd come in the house and he was like, Jeffrey. And he have them come in there. He just. Just roast him for being homosexuals.

[Grace O'Malley]

What are you doing out there with your shirt off?

[Theo Von]

And Jeff, stoned out of his face, has no idea what's going on.

[Grace O'Malley]

Stay in the house behind him. But yeah. Why are you being such a gay homo?

[Theo Von]

Oh, it was a good time. I mean, it was just.

[Grace O'Malley]

It wasn't like throwing your boys under the bus.

[Theo Von]

I like being the bus driver. And all the seats are under the bus.

[Grace O'Malley]

Nice.

[Theo Von]

That's what I like.

[Grace O'Malley]

And it's short too.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I just like that. I like it. I like just creating something. Something. Right. Like, let's see what happens here. If we set this thing up this.

[Grace O'Malley]

Way, let's cause some chaos.

[Theo Von]

There was that one famous story. Who's the famous. There was two members of, I think Fleetwood Mac that took lsd. Oh, wow.

[Grace O'Malley]

There it is.

[Theo Von]

The night that Fleetwood Mack lost Peter Green and Danny Kerwin to lsd. Yeah, what was it? It's all amid a manic psychedelic party in a commune like Mansion. Green, I think it's Peter Green is the guy's name. Name was drawn down into the basement and arrived out of the other side in tears. In the band's eyes, he was distraught. Despite Green claiming to have had an extraordinary experience and stating that he played the best guitar of his life down there. Another member of the band present that day was Danny Kerwin. Fate also besieged him that night. Peter Green and Danny Kerwin both went together to that house in Munich. Okay. That's where they were after a show, their one time manager, Clifford Davis recalled. Both of them took acid. As I understand both of them as of that day became seriously mentally ill. It would be too much of a coincidence for it to be anything other than taking drugs as of that day, a fear. The rest of the band felt an intense sense of dread in that place and managed to scurry away with the two heavily intoxicated members. While Greenwood recover and enjoy a creative life away from the spotlight. Despite persistent problems, things fared differently for Kerwin. Danny had been a nervous and sensitive lad from the start. He was never really suited to the rigors of the business. Mick Fleetwood once opined, touring is hard and the routine wears us all down. One night while backstage, this regression came to the fore. Danny was being odd about tuning as a guitar, Mick Fleetwood remembers. He got up suddenly and bashed his head into the wall, splattering blood everywhere. I've never seen him do anything violent in all the years I'd known him. The rest of us were paralyzed, in complete shock. Damn. He was wonderful. But he couldn't handle the life. Eventually ending up homeless on the streets of London. London. Wow. Damn.

[Grace O'Malley]

Sounds like a Tuesday.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that's what happens, dude.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's my biggest fear. Is it really getting schizophrenic?

[Theo Von]

Really?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it, like, freaks me out. It doesn't even run in the family, but that sounds scary.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I think taking a hit of acid or something. Next thing you know, you're just. You don't. You know, you don't know what you're doing.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, actually, my run in the family, I got a cousin like that.

[Theo Von]

You do?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

It's tough and it's. A Man or woman?

[Grace O'Malley]

Both.

[Theo Von]

God, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

That's a thing. Dude, I. I would just. I don't know if I could be a man and woman. Do you think you could handle it?

[Grace O'Malley]

I think I do a good job already. I'm saying manly to men, to flirt with them.

[Theo Von]

Huh?

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, yeah, get some pale tonight, brother. Like what? What?

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Euclas.

[Grace O'Malley]

Huh?

[Theo Von]

Padroa.

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's go, Brady. Come on now. Deflate these balls.

[Theo Von]

God.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. That's the unfortunate truth.

[Theo Von]

Who's on my Mount Rushmore? I wonder?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, from where you're from.

[Theo Von]

Oh, from where I'm from. Trying to think of my Boston one. Oh, my Boston one would be. Is it okay if I do a boss? Oh, Will Hunting. So you got him. You got Tom Brady. You got. Oh, Dutch Smith from Bring Up. Dutch Smith. This is him following an arson over the weekend. Police say a teenager is responsible for all that damage. News Watch 16's Nikki Cries joins us live from the Central Pennsylvania newsroom with more tonight. Nikki, Julie. A lot of people in Shamokin are upset that Dunkin Donuts is closed because they didn't have anywhere else to go for coffee and donuts. Today we also learn new information about the teenage girl police charged with setting the place on fire. Yellow tape surrounds the Dunkin Donuts on West Sunbury street in Shamokin. The popular donut shop is closed until further notice because of extensive fire. Fire damage.

[Grace O'Malley]

There's a lot of people that's definitely gonna miss it.

[Theo Von]

No doubt about it. A teenager is charged with starting a fire inside. Go further down, they start interviewing people. Oh, back up. Many people who live in Shamokin are upset that Dunkin Donuts is closed. Now I have to rely on myself to Go to maybe a Turkey Hill or something where I don't like their donuts. I'd rather the donuts at Dunkin Donuts. And I'm kind of dealing with it, but I really miss Dunkin Donuts.

[Grace O'Malley]

I go there every day.

[Theo Von]

I get a chicken baker croissant or.

[Grace O'Malley]

I get some coffee Powerade.

[Theo Von]

If I'm dehydrated, I sit there all the time. If I have any, like, legal work.

[Grace O'Malley]

That I need to do, I go there.

[Theo Von]

I meet with my attorneys there.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm gonna miss that place when. If it don't open up. A lot of my friends go in.

[Theo Von]

There, get the cold coffee. Well, iced coffee, I guess it's called.

[Grace O'Malley]

What a mly crew that is.

[Theo Von]

So the guy in the middle was like, yeah, get stay dehydrated. Meet my attorney up there, my boy Dutch Smith. He's on my.

[Grace O'Malley]

He's on your. Is he also like on your team? Like, I feel like you know him.

[Theo Von]

The Dunkin D, it's over there.

[Grace O'Malley]

I gotta talk to my lawyers.

[Theo Von]

He's like, I do some legal work.

[Grace O'Malley]

When you gotta do legal work, you gotta go to docs.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

He's like, classic.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. What do they call up there? Ice cold coffee? Iced coffee, Lady.

[Grace O'Malley]

That is good. Good.

[Theo Von]

They call it cold coffee. Freaking crazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

First, like, oh, yeah, meet me at the dunks on 15th and second, get.

[Theo Von]

To the legal work. We got some legal work.

[Grace O'Malley]

So good. And you know he's not studying to be a lawyer.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. Yeah. You know he's not studying to be a lawyer.

[Grace O'Malley]

Can you do accents?

[Theo Von]

Do I do them?

[Grace O'Malley]

Can you do accents? Yeah.

[Theo Von]

No, I can't really do them that much. I don't think I. Sometimes I wish I spent more time focusing on stuff like that. That.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

What about you?

[Grace O'Malley]

I could just do Irish.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Pretty, but under pressure it's pretty hard. But I. You just really have to emphasize ours. Really, truly and honestly.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, truly, Truly, honestly. Are you going?

[Grace O'Malley]

I do. I do it a wee little bit, but I. Here. And there is a good party trick if you do it.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

But it's not really going to take me far in life, is it?

[Theo Von]

We take you back to Ireland, that's fine. Yeah, I'm bad. But I. I think me, if I. It'd be fun to work on, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, I think I like it. You did a good job.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, thanks.

[Theo Von]

Have you toured in Ireland yet? You gotta wait. No, you gotta wait.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm new ski.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, sorry. What are we talking About?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm brand new.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Which is probably why I have nothing to talk about.

[Theo Von]

Okay. No, you're great to talk to. Oh, great Somali, I love. I'm glad I've gotten a sit in chat with. With you. If you guys don't know Grace now you probably do. I think you have a good. I think. Did we talk about your life enough, do you think?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, sure.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, did you finish college or not?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I dropped out.

[Theo Von]

You did?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. But by the time I dropped out of college, I had a 4.0.

[Theo Von]

You did?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I found out what Adderall was.

[Theo Von]

Oh, so you were using.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I needed it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

As it.

[Theo Von]

As it turned out, the Irish need it. What are the Irish missing?

[Grace O'Malley]

There's always that thing, you know, they're missing out on. Well, the fathers are missing out on loving their children. Yeah. I don't know how to express it.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah. They can't, huh?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, they can't. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

It's like they just get you a Edelman Jersey.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. They just hope that'll. That'll equate to love. It's good.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Why can't they do it?

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, sharing a beer in silence, that's. That's also supposed to be love in their eyes.

[Theo Von]

Really?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Why do the Irish have that trouble sharing love? Love, maybe. And if, if people listen, they can hit the hotline too with that 985-664-9503. And that would be great to just. I want to examine that next time we have a solo episode is why the Irish have that trouble expressing their love. Do you think that they have it more than other cultures?

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's. Let's think just to compare.

[Theo Von]

The Koreans can't do it.

[Grace O'Malley]

They can't?

[Theo Von]

No, they can't. No.

[Grace O'Malley]

Tough. Is it tough love or is it just no love?

[Theo Von]

Well, there's a video. You see that? I think, Steve, look up Stevie Weeby. He just put that video up of him, Bobby and their mother trying to do Christmas together or something. Can you see that? If you put it on his Instagram, The Koreans, I don't think they can do it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Bobby's the Asian representative.

[Theo Von]

Bobby is. I want to say, he maybe like it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know you like it. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Late at night and I leave Duke here by himself. He loses his mind. I. Huh.

[Grace O'Malley]

No.

[Theo Von]

Duke.

[Grace O'Malley]

You have no snacks here.

[Theo Von]

I got hungry there. She's been drinking.

[Grace O'Malley]

In the morning. Isn't at, you know.

[Theo Von]

No, it was six in the morning. So what happened last night was some snacks. So I went to 7:11. I got. That's good. This is like that game show, like that telephone game or whatever. Can you see where Bobby comes in later or not? Is there any. Can you help me out? Get further down. Further, further.

[Grace O'Malley]

Is there any problem?

[Theo Von]

No, maybe not. The mother is very endearing, though. I would love to meet her. She's probably a star that I would like to meet.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Who. Who's up there for you? Who haven't you met and who, on top of that, who was your favorite thus far?

[Theo Von]

I don't know. I got to meet Mel Gibson one time and he's very captive.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, that's wild.

[Theo Von]

It's very like you get drawn into.

[Grace O'Malley]

Him, you know, you sit down and like, shoot the shit with them.

[Theo Von]

Yep.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, I did get to one time, which is crazy because Patriots, my favorite movie probably. Was there anything else that we wanted to talk about? You have any of our topics, anything you want to look at really quick? I'm just trying to think, Grace, before I let you go.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Oh, wait. So your new podcast. Tell me about it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, so it is going to be coming out in February.

[Theo Von]

That's great.

[Grace O'Malley]

Everything is completely up in the air right now, trying to figure out what the hell it's going to be. But for the most part, the idea for it is the name's gonna be disgraceful and I'm gonna have, like, guests on every week, and for the first 15 to 20 minutes, they're auditioning to be my new co host because I need a new co host. So that's like the niche there. And then after that, hopefully we'll. We'll shoot the shit. I'll get to practicing a little more and be a little better for. For that.

[Theo Von]

So what are you looking for in your codes? Do you already have a parameter?

[Grace O'Malley]

That's the thing. It's all just a gimmick. I'm never probably gonna have a host.

[Theo Von]

Oh, you're not?

[Grace O'Malley]

We'll see how it goes.

[Theo Von]

But there is possibility, though.

[Grace O'Malley]

Possibility. Like Alex suggested.

[Theo Von]

Alex Cooper?

[Grace O'Malley]

Alex Cooper suggested that from Call Her Daddy?

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I had pitched her my idea for this podcast and she was like, yeah, that's awesome. But what if you did a podcast with like, Blake Griffin? I'm like, what? So that's the idea that she has for it. So we're gonna figure out something. Something somewhere in the middle. Something like that. Yeah, that was just like a little behind the scenes kind of phone call. So we'll see how it goes.

[Theo Von]

Will she have a say in it? Will you Have a say. It will. It just be. Is it up to you?

[Grace O'Malley]

I get final say.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, you do.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I think. I think I'm gonna stick to my guns. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. I think just trust your instincts. Yeah. Whatever your instincts are, I love them.

[Grace O'Malley]

Thanks. Right back at you.

[Theo Von]

They're fun. Your instincts are fun to ride along with the down for Anything tour that's going on right now.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yep. And despite everything I've said on this podcast, it is a good show. So come, come. Come on out.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah, I believe that it is. I almost stayed. I wanted to say that I think I got nervous. There was so many girls in there.

[Grace O'Malley]

A lot of girls. Yeah. It's a. It's. It's like a slumber party.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then I, I just. My whole time, I'm just trying to make the boyfriends laugh.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because they don't want to be there.

[Theo Von]

Oh, they.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I. I, like, really try my best to make them laugh the most.

[Theo Von]

You know what's so funny about comedy? A lot of times you'd be on stage and it's all dates there, and. Yeah. You're like. So not only are you, like the kind of like, if you're the lonely one, if you're the one that doesn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend, you're. Then you're also provide. You're the entertainment. Right. They're paying for sure. But then they all have. And then you like. Oh, it just builds up this. Sometimes they can build up this weird resentment.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, totally. I mean, I just did a New Year's Eve show, so everyone. 3, 2, 1. Everyone started kissing. I'm like, I'm still on stage by myself. Oh, it's like a double whammy. You. I was like, this is.

[Theo Von]

What do you do then? Throw a couple. You throw a couple fingers in the hoo. Ha. Or what do you do at that point?

[Grace O'Malley]

I just, I, I. I started. I just grabbed the. The bouncer. Just him on stage there. Yeah, no, I, I started. I started shotgunning beers so I felt less lonely. Yes. I swear to God.

[Theo Von]

There you. Yeah, we're gonna. We're gonna send some kicks your way this year, Gracie, baby.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hey. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

We're gonna send you a boatload of.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. This year. That's for sure.

[Theo Von]

And why do they say up there in Madison?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it's. It's just. There's no way. No, there's no, it's not. It's not a way for a woman to talk.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude. I was going in. I had a show out Right outside of. In. Not Medford. I don't know where it is. Is that right outside of the city?

[Grace O'Malley]

Medford? Yeah, That's a town.

[Theo Von]

And I had a show right out there, and some guy's walking up with his wife. They're eating a piece of pizza, and he's like, doris, give. That's the guy. We're gonna give him your pizza.

[Grace O'Malley]

Give him your pizza.

[Theo Von]

And Doris, they're both eating. You can tell they just gotten snack. They're running over. Running a few minutes late. I'm like, I don't give it. He's like, give me a pizza, Doris.

[Grace O'Malley]

He beg. I love this guy.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, that's.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't love you. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. What I want to see.

[Grace O'Malley]

And Doris.

[Theo Von]

So Doris gives me her pizza, and then they go inside. The guys just eat him like, what the Are you doing back?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God.

[Theo Von]

I'm just like, what?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, that. That's the kind of guys up there is. They'll throw. They throw their wives across. Across a car to impress their boys.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

They care about their boys. They're kind of gay for it.

[Theo Von]

Oh, they're definitely just to get a whiff of Pedroia's catches. Mitt.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

All right. I think we've had enough. I think we've. I think we've had a good start to the year. Any res. Anything that you're trying to push on yourself this year? I know. Maybe love is in the air. That's always in the air.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Anything else? You're kind of like any. Is there a real goal that you have or something?

[Grace O'Malley]

Get porked at least once.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then we'll go getting slammed.

[Theo Von]

Now we talking.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're talking. I'll take it wherever I can get it.

[Theo Von]

This is a Christian program.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, is it now? My apologies.

[Theo Von]

So you're right at home. Go ahead.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. No, and then I'm trying to cut back on drinking. I have a drinking problem.

[Theo Von]

You do?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm a functioning alcoholic.

[Theo Von]

Oh, yeah?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, Big time. So I'm trying to. I'm trying to kick back.

[Theo Von]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'll start with the dry January and see where that goes.

[Theo Von]

Oh, so you're going to get. You're tapping back in. So for the rest of January, you're off.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah. I missed the first day, but what do you got? I do.

[Theo Von]

That's still December in some places.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Right.

[Theo Von]

In Holland, I think. Yeah. They're behind. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like, I'm on Holland time. It.

[Theo Von]

I'm on Holland time.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Theo Von]

What about you? What about me? No, I'm gonna try to be sober all year, I think. But any New Year's resolution.

[Grace O'Malley]

Resolutions. Yeah.

[Theo Von]

I'm gonna try to be more pertinent with my time. Like don't waste time in things that I know. Like, I think with relationship stuff. Don't waste like dating time and things that maybe don't have. Have a. A chance kind of thing.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's fair.

[Theo Von]

I don't know.

[Grace O'Malley]

So stop. Stop dating girls with no personality.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Just if I know it's not really there. Don't just kind of you, you know, use the situation. Just because maybe I'm lonesome or something.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

You know, or like don't. Or just because I don't have anybody to go do, you know, just be like. I'll just do by myself then sometimes I'll just be by myself or whatever.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's not all that bad, right? It's not that bad.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Do it all the time.

[Theo Von]

And then.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then your nightmare is my everyday.

[Theo Von]

I don't know. And then. I don't know. Get out there and do some sex. Maybe. I don't know, something else. I don't know. I'd like to read a little bit more. Maybe this year.

[Grace O'Malley]

You read a lot last year.

[Theo Von]

Not as much as I'd have liked, but just because I want to have that slow time. Your thoughts are slowed down. You're just kind of relaxing, you know?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Theo Von]

Like my brain gets so sped up.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I can't. I don't know how to slow it down.

[Theo Von]

Yeah. Slow it down. And maybe pray. Pray. Yeah, pray. If I meet a wife or something. 2020 wife. That's where I'm at.

[Grace O'Malley]

There you go. 2020 wife.

[Theo Von]

It could happen. Dude.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's good. I like that.

[Theo Von]

Welcome to come country, huh?

[Grace O'Malley]

There you go. Then you can hang out with your other friends.

[Theo Von]

Yeah, yeah, we're coming.

[Grace O'Malley]

I got me a pride now.

[Theo Von]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Look at her. Look at her. She give me pizza.

[Theo Von]

Doris Grace O'Malley, thank you so much for coming. Nora O'Malley, thank you for coming too. And cheers and blessings to you guys. Happy New Year.

[Grace O'Malley]

Happy New Year, man. Thank you very much. It was a honor, truly and honestly.

[Theo Von]

And same for me. And best of luck with disgraceful. It comes out in February.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Theo Von]

Okay. On the Unwell Network.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hell yeah.

[Theo Von]

Amen.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hell yeah.

[Theo Von]

Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh but.

[Theo Von]

When I reach that ground I'll share this piece of my life out I can feel it in my bones but it's gonna take.