Loading summary
Transcript174 lines
- [00:00]
Theo Von
Calling all Call of Duty fans, the iconic map verdansk returns to Call of Duty Warzone. Starting April 3rd, you'll be able to drop back into verdansk, experience all the chaos, and relive the thrill you've been missing. Not only will you get the classic battle royale experience we all know and love, but verdansk is back with gameplay updates and the return of verdansk era weapons. That's right. You'll experience Verdansk like never before. Smoother movement, stunning visuals, and new mechanics. Whether you're dropping in solo or teaming up with your squad, it's time to come home to verdansk. So download Call of Duty Warzone for free and drop into Verdansk on April 3rd. Rated imprimature. Ah, just clearing the winter out of my throat, baby. Be gone, be gone. Snow. Be gone. Ice or hail, dude, what is hail? It's basically. It's like Italian snow or whatever. I mean, that just you up. It's like Memphis snow. It's like, what do we. What? It's definitely. I gotta look that up. What is hail? Because sometimes it's like you're relaxing, it's raining, and then the rain's like, oh, yeah, guess what, mother? And it just fucking shows up and it just starts like pinging off your car, bouncing off your wife's shoulders and shit. It's bouncing off your stepson or whatever, and you. Makes you care about him. Hail is just. Yeah, we gotta look into that and see what they're doing. They're probably charging us for it, you know, we're probably getting charged for that, I'm sure. Welcome to the episode. Happy springtime, everybody. Good to be here with you today. What's happening? Oh, I'll tell you, dude. So. Oh, I went to a little chili cook off around me. And you know, I like, man, I'm lying. Chili is always. It's. It's suspect. Chili is a suspect soup. Really? That's what it is. It's just a bunch of. It's like the hail of soups. It's like, all right, all right. Soup. I see what you doing. We ride here. It's just that kind of soup, you know, it's thickened up, baby. It's a. It's like soup got a bbl, baby. That's chili. And so I went to a little. I stopped by a little. They had a small chili tent cook off area and they had four vendors or something in there. Just ladle and booty gas edibles into small bowls for people. And so I Get up there. And I got me some chili. And they had one place, they were saying, we got all the fixings, toppings and this and that. You know, you could put anything on that. You could put cheese, onions, a little bit of ghb. And they. They. One place was offering, but I just said, hey, do you have pickles? And the guy just. I mean, this guy looked at me. I mean, this dude, he was stirring this big pot of chili. He was just a damn. Just a damn chili witch, you know? And he was just stirring a big cauldron of booty goop, you know, just. And I said, yeah, do you have any pickles for it? And he's like, you. You want pickles on your chili? And I was like, yeah, yeah, that's what I. Because that's what I like. I just. I like. I like putting just pickles on there. And he's like, you want. You want pickles on your filler, dude? And it was like he couldn't unders. I was like, yes, yes, sir. And he's like, you. You. You want pickles on your salad? He couldn't handle it, man. The dude couldn't handle it. So I guess the moral of that. I don't. You want to pack up? I don't know what the moral of that story is, dude. Who gives a dang? The moral of the story is sometimes you want things that people can't give you. I think maybe that's the moral of the story. I got this shirt on. This is a beautiful, beautiful shirt. This was given to me by the Bronx Fire department, baby. Engine 43, son. Quattro dose, baby. QD in the house. I'll tell you what happened. I saw. I was walking down the street. I'd broken my toe, right? And so when you break your toe, you suddenly everything. You see everything a lot clearer because you can't go fast. You go very slow. You ever see that guy that's crossing the crosswalk like, backwards in a wheelchair by himself? And you're like, jesus, dude. You know, you. You pray for him, but you're also a little bit pissed. You know, you're like, dear God, help this. Hurry up. Well, dude, when you break your toe, you go slower than that dude. He is the hair. You are the tortoise. You go slower than that, dude. So I'm in New York City. I'm walking around, and you. You know, and I just broken my toe probably 48 hours before. And so that bitch was big and dark. You could feel it had a little bit of heartbeat. Of its own, you know, like it had a damn bass track running through it. And I'm wearing some hey dudes that I have that. Cause it's easy to get in and out of them. The shoes. And anyway I'm. You're just slowly going everywhere, you know, so you start meeting people and people are saying stuff at you and yelling, you know, hey, damn. You know, I love their podcast, get out the Street. Just different, just New York, just New York hellos, you know, and. And I'm walking past this one spot and this guy comes up and he's like, hey, you wanna. And he'd been drinking and he was. Either he was Italian or he was like fast polish, you know, or polar or. Or he was. He was either Polish or slow Italian. One of the. You know what I'm saying? He was in that cross and he's like, come on a. He's like, my cousin Jeremy just got promoted to whatever, the top of the fire department, like lead arsonist or whatever. So he brings. There's just a door. He. Oh, we go inside and it's a huge. It's like everybody's like, hey, you want some fire? It's like a fire department party. And I think this guy Jeremy or something had just won like hoes of the month or whatever. Like I think whoever's got the most PSI coming out of him, they give him, you know, la, you know, you know, he done something, you know, it was an achievement for him. So all of his buddies are there and everybody, they're toasting and cheering and like, hey, get. Look at this mother. You know, and they're like, hey, if you ever have a fire, here's my number. Like, dude, I'm not. If there's a fight, I'm not looking through my phone if there's a fire, you know, and I'm going to call Antonio up, you know, in the South Bronx. I'm calling the fire department. So they're just like. And then they gave me this shirt that we took some photos and they're like cheers. And then offer me. They're like, hey, you want some matches, mother? You know, keep us in business. Keep us in business. They gave me like a eight pack of matches that was like the cool looking, the old school, like regular looking matchbooks. They gave me this shirt, they're like, hey, it's flammable. But yeah, it was just like a great experience. So shout out to them. Shout out to all the fire departments out there. Congratulations to the guy that got the promotion. I dated a girl in junior high school, her dad, great guy, threatened to kill me once. But outside of that, awesome. You know, he was a fire chief and we used to go over there and watch him eat hot dogs and, and this was before. A lot of firemen are getting in shape and stuff now. This is back when they would just over there just snorting Oscar Myers and, and just squirting ketchup on each other's backs, you know, and. And just basically just gambling a lot of them. But anyway, I'm not sure what I'm talking about, what I'm rambling about, but that was the first time at day at her dad's fire department that I ever had chili in my life, that I ever had it. Somebody served it. I didn't know what it was. I had a little bit of it and then, and then, and then I'd had it, you know, that's how that all works, you know. But you won't take a young Achilles. You won't pick around the. What else has been going on. Thank you to the people that have come out to the shows recently. We did, we've done some dates. We went up to the Pacific Northwest. That was really amazing up there. So the bill, just the way the buildings are, the people, everybody. A lot of people, they look clean up there because it rains so much. You just get cleaned even if you're just not. Even if you're dirty. Yeah, we did a huge show in Seattle that was amazing. I think it maybe was too many people. I know that sounds like a. I'm grateful everybody came, but I just never been in a venue and it was a. It was a big venue, right. And I just felt a little bad. Like maybe the people like some of the seats, they. It was hard to hear. I don't know. I think some of that's just a fear of mine, but I don't think that we will do that again. But it's just a learning curve. And yeah, we had a nice time there though. I got to see my ex girlfriend. We got to go to the fish market. Dude, you go to the fish market. I. I'd never been to the Seattle Fish Fair or whatever. It's like a little circus or whatever that they have every day. And people come. There's dead fish and you can look at them, right? And you can eat them, you know, it's pretty. It's pretty Neanderthalic in a way. But so anyway, we go in Amir K. That's a guy that's touring with me, a great comedian. He like Points at the guys running the fish fair. And so next thing you know, they do a thing where you. Somebody throws a fish and somebody catches a fish. And so they let me catch the fish and I. You know, one toss, one kill, homie. I gripped that and, yeah, it was awesome. I didn't know you're not supposed to spike it after you catch it. So that. That was, I think, frowned upon or whatever, But I didn't know that. And. And I'd been watching too many of those gronk commercials or whatever. Anyway, I'm rambling. What else is going on? Let's get into the episode. How about that? We got a bunch of calls that came in from you guys, and I'm going to focus on those today. I got one story. I went to the Grand Ole Opry's 100th anniversary. I'm going to talk about that. And we're going to speak to a miracle today. A gentleman named Matt up there in Canada. Calgary. He's up there and he. He has. He's a miracle. And we're gonna get to have a moment with him. Let's go. Thank you for joining us. Whenever you're down out in the cold? Faithless and dark?
- [12:48]
Guest/Caller
Your story's untold?
- [12:51]
Theo Von
Come take my hand and walk there with me? I know a place where we can be free? There is a light shining for you? Guiding your way? Helping you through shadows and gloom I'll let you see we'll find a place where we can be free? From the mountaintops down to the deepest shadows. You like pickles on your chili? Yeah. My mother came in town for my birthday, Actually, it was last week. And we said, thank you. If you're wishing me a happy birthday in your head, and if you're not and you're just like, dude, keep talking. That's fine. She came in and they had the 100th anniversary at the grand ole opry. And my mom likes country music and she likes older country music. And Blake shelton was hosting the event, and jelly roll was gonna perform, and my mom likes the. Likes both of them. And so I was like, oh, well, that would be fun for my birthday. I'll have mom. I'll see if mom wants to come in and then we'll go. And so she came in and we went and what was it like? We got dressed up kind of. I didn't do a good job of it. I. What I wanted to wear didn't really fit once I put it on. And so it was just, you know, I just had to change it. And wore a jacket, actually, that somebody had thrown on stage in Montana to a comedy show. I wore that. But, yeah, we went over there and it was nice. Who. Who performed? Oh, Allison Krause performed. And, I mean, she has the voice of the evening that. I heard a lot of great voices in there, but, my God, that was just exceptional. Clint Black. We got to listen to. Who's that other guy? Don't rock. Did you. Alan Jackson just. It was awesome, man. We got to sit there and listen to some music together and. And, you know, there was kind of a point in, like, there's one point. We're sitting there, and this is kind of, I guess, a childish thought or whatever, but I was like, you know, I wish. I kind of wish my mom would give me a little hug or hold my hand or something. I know that sounds crazy to say. I don't mean, like, hold my hand, but just kind of squeeze my hand. Just something, you know, like, we don't see each other that much. And I don't know. This. It sounds crazy to say this kind of, I guess, but I've said a lot of weird over the years. I just. I. I was thinking, man, it'd be nice if she gave me some sentimental but physical sign, like, sign of affection. That's what I was thinking, right? And so I'm sitting there next to her, and. And then I just reached over and grabbed my mom's hand. That's what I did. And. And then we were just kind of held hands for maybe 30 seconds or something, you know, just put my hand on top of hers, let her know that I care. And it was just something like, for me, like, a moment like, that is interesting because a lot of my life, I would just sit there and be like, man, I wish there was this moment of affection, but I wish somebody else would do it, right? Or I'm upset that they're not doing it, you know? And then I just did it. I just reached over and, yeah, my mom's an older lady, you know, and at some point I gotta be, no, that's not it. I don't have to. But I don't know, it was just like, well, if I want this, I can also get it for myself, you know? And it really had the same effect once I got over the fact of, like, oh, I wish they would show the affection first, or I wish they would do the action to be the person providing the affection. Which is probably what I thought of a lot when I was a child. But then this time, I just reached and I just put my hand on my mom's hand, you know, because she's getting older. She's not the child now, but she's, you know, just where we're at in our lives. Things are kind of even. And it still had the same outcome for me. It made me feel okay. The second I got over that little moment of kind of jealousy or wishing or not jealousy, but like, wishing somebody else had started the action. The second I got over that, I just had a nice moment where I got to sit there and just be with my mother and watch country music, which is something that we both enjoy doing and something that's important to me in my life, you know, to have moments with my mother where we're doing something that we like to do and we're doing it together, you know? So I don't know if that sounds weird or whatever, and honestly, man, I don't care if it sounds weird, you know, I really don't. Part of me does still, but. But I think the part of me that. That needs those type of moments is like, hey, man, finally you're meeting. You're trying to meet just the universe. How you're taking some direction to do something for how you feel, you know, instead of just. Because I always in my life have been caught in this moment. Like, God, I wish they would do this. I wish this. I wish. So. I don't know. That was just kind of an interesting moment for me. And then I put my arm around my mom's shoulder and just like. Yeah, like, she was, you know, like she was, you know, my mom, and we were just having a nice time. And. And once I did that, I was getting the react. I was getting what I wanted out of the moment, you know, And I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't made an effort. I'm not trying to say, hey, look at me. I'm just trying to say, like, for so long, I've always been the person, and I still am a lot of times, but this time I wasn't where I'm like, man, I wish somebody would do this so that I would be able to have a certain type of moment right now or so that. To show me that they care. And. And I didn't really realize that if I do it myself some, I can still get some of that same result. So I don't know if that makes a lot of sense or not, but. And, yeah, just. I don't know. Yeah. Sometimes you. You know, you may only want. You know, you may. Sometimes you got to Put your own pickles in the chili. You know, that's what I'm saying. I think. I don't know if that sounds crazy, but sometimes if you want pickles in the chili and that's the only way you're gonna have the chili, sometimes you gotta. You gotta bring the pickles, man, because sometimes the world just serves chili. So I don't know. But, yeah, I want to speak that out loud too, because, you know, it's just important to me that I start to live in a place in my life where. Where I just don't let that uncomfortable moment of, like, man, I wish they would do this. So this could be the outcome where I don't let that prevent me from. Even if I'm upset at them or whatever, that I don't let that prevent me from maybe trying to take the action myself. I don't know. I know that doesn't apply to everything, but anyway, enough about me, man. Enough about me. We got a lot of great calls that have come in today, and I want to get to some of those. And again, I do want to apologize that we haven't gotten to do these type of episodes a lot. I think about this all the time, you know, and I think that it's important. And sometimes it's just been tough, and I'm not complaining. I'm just saying that it's been tough. And then, you know, you also have the opportunity to talk to guests, and you're like. You're like, man, I love to talk with this person. And so you just try to balance it. So just bear with me. I just want to let you know that this community is important to me, and I'm trying to fine tune some things in my life a little bit better. So things are more organized, so I'm able to spend my energy where I would like to be able to spend it. Anyway, I know I don't need to say that, but I just want you to know that. All right, we have some calls that came in, and thank you guys for continuing to hit the hotline as always. The number is 985-664-9503. And we got a call right here. Here we go.
- [22:28]
Guest/Caller
Hey, Theo. My name is actually Theo as well.
- [22:32]
Theo Von
Oh, hello, Theo. Good to meet the others. Onward.
- [22:36]
Matt Tyberg
I got a situation here.
- [22:38]
Guest/Caller
I've been talking to this girl for, like, two years, and it turns out I got her pregnant. After that all happened, the word got around, and somehow it turns out that she's my first cousin. Any advice would help, and thank you so Much.
- [22:55]
Theo Von
Wow, Dang, brother, that's. Oh, that's. You gonna be raising a dang lizard, homie. You can't. Wow, brother. Good golly. That's like shooting fish in a family or whatever. I don't know. I mean, I haven't looked at a chart recently. I don't know the. The genetic legalities of that, but do. Yeah, I mean, they say, you know, don't pee where or don't eat where you. Or don't piss where your family is or whatever. Whatever that old saying is, dude, you. I feel like you've gone past that at this point. And God, that thing is going to have. You're going to need. Yeah, you're going to need a farrier to come and put shoes on that thing. I'm just chirping you. I'm just chirping you, dude. I look, I feel you. I look. It's having a child with a cousin. I think at the very least it's going to need glasses. That thing is going to need bifocals, brother. You know, I mean, you're just playing Russian roulette with your DNA right there. But. But at the same time, man, I don't want to scare you, you know, and I do believe I'm kind of chirping you there still. But I believe that everything's going to be fine, you know, I believe that everything is going to be fine. I think monitor the child's gestation closely. Make sure it's tracking, you know, make sure that it has everything it needs because it is. Bring it up. Can you. Who can. Can you have a child with your cousin or not? Let's. That's just a poll that says 40% say yes, that. But do you have any information on that? Oh, I should look it up. Who the hell am I even talking to? Dear God, out of my mind today. Can you have child with one cousin? Oh, yes. It is physically possible for first cousins to have children, but it is important to understand that such relationships carry a slightly elevated risk of genetic disorders compared to unrelated parents. Brother. So I'm just saying not everybody, you know, you know, some people like things different, you know, some people like pickles on their girl. You feel me? So it's. Yeah, I think you got to make sure that when that baby right out the gate, put that baby on a damn, you know, let some other people look at it and sign off on that bastard right out the gate, homie. And definitely I would make sure, you know, make sure it doesn't stand straight up when the Moon is full and shit like that when it's real young. Just I'd keep tabs on it. I'd hit a couple high notes near it on an instrument and see if it. See if its eyes turn red or anything. But you're just gonna have to keep tabs on it because that's risky. And look, a lot of people have good looking cousins, let's say that. But not a lot of them are as brave as you, brother. So yeah, I would just stay conscious of that and recognize you have an at risk child hire. Hire a night nurse or lifeguard or whatever you got to get. Sometimes lifeguards will work overnight. They're cheaper. They're, you know, they know cpr. They don't know a lot of the, that the nannies know, but they're still there. Got a whistle. So, yeah, I think just, yeah, just stay safe, brother. And I would back off that type of behavior, you know, if you win this round of DNA roulette, brother, this. I'd leave the rest of the bullets in the chamber, baby. When it comes to family, let's take another call here and thank you to the last fellow. Theo, actually. Dear God, I didn't even realize that, man. And look, hey, bud, I can't tell you, to be honest with you, if I'd had a really good looking cousin, tbd, homie. So the Lord don't give you what you can't handle, you know, But I'm just saying, yeah, just get out, you know, just meet somebody else. Meet somebody, you know, because if you're not, if you're dating your cousin, you're not even getting out there. You're not even getting out there. But maybe you're getting married to your cousin. I don't. Look, brother, I don't know. I would ask probably a state official or somebody, I would ask a pastor about this one them. But yeah. Let's get back to this call that came in.
- [27:41]
Guest/Caller
Hey, Dio. I'm in welding school right now.
- [27:47]
Theo Von
Oh, you're in welding school. That's a good school. And I had a family member who started a welding school. It's a good business onward.
- [27:55]
Guest/Caller
And I hate that. Like I genuinely hate that. And so I've always said my backup options are military. And I. I'm at the point where I'm about to head down to the recruiter's office and in the coming weeks possibly. But I just. I just wanted to know what you think I should do. Because I hate Welton, but I don't know if I want to Sign away four years of my life, you know what I mean? And it's like I'm 18, so I'm young and I could get out after four years and still not even be 23. But I don't know, it's just like, I don't know what to do. Should I stick with welding school and hate my life for the next few months or the next year and a half? Or should I quit that and go into the military and then get a bunch of free shit and a bunch of discounts for the rest of my life?
- [28:52]
Theo Von
Amen, brother. Thank you for asking and just for reaching out. Yeah, it's a good. You know, this is a great question because you're like, do I do a trade or do I go into the military? And especially you mentioned one thing. Yeah, going to the military and you get discounts. Like, I wouldn't go into the military just because you're going to get 15 off at long John Silvers or whatever. That's not a reason to go into the military for four years just so you can get, you know, free left shoes at DSW Shoes or whatever, you know, or 11% off of cheesy biscuits over there at Rhett Lobsters. You know, I, you know, that's not. I would take that out of the equation and I would just look at. Do you like welding? You're saying you don't like it, but do you not like the school part of it? If you don't like this, I would find out what don't I like? Because that's something we say that I was like, I hate this. But what really do I hate about it? Do you hate that you're, you're in school for it right now? Do you hate that you're having to learn it? Do you hate that you have to get up at certain hours to go learn it? Because you may love welding, you may just, you may not be in it, like being at class at 8:00am you know, and I'm not saying those things. I'm just asking you to or suggesting that you think, you know, try to figure out, well, what don't I like about it? Because sometimes I'll just be like, man, I hate that shit. But I never really look at, well, why do I hate it? What don't. And then I might realize I don't really hate that. I hate this other thing that comes with that. But I do believe that if you get into a trade that you do not like that you won't enjoy it. And I do believe that there's things out there that we can all do that we would enjoy doing. I believe that there's so many things. So yeah, I would take a look at that, man. I would take a look and just decide if you do not like welding and military is your backup. I think the military is a great idea, you know, I mean, I, you know, I don't think it's a bad idea, especially at your age. I wished I'd have gone to the military. I spent a lot of time just sitting around just trying to lick my own dick or whatever, you know, or, you know, buying binoculars and, and just not doing or whatever, being a shitty neighbor or whatever. Pervert. But what you, you know, you, if you go in the military now, yeah, you're out in four years and you probably have a lot of skills, you know, you may. It'll probably help you get up early, stay in shape. All these things that are going to really help shape the rest of your life right now. Some people may have went to the military and say, theo, you know what the you're talking about, honky, you little fucking queer. You little gun pussy. Or whatever, that's fine. They can say those things. And I don't, I haven't been. But for you, you're saying that that's what you've thought of as your backup option, you know, now you might, you know, I don't know how long the military will be there, you know, depending on what they could keep having our military carry out and the different actions that they have them do. But I think it's an honorable thing. I have a ton of respect for our military and, and I don't think you would go wrong with that choice. So that's kind of where I'm at with it, you know, and if you went in there, you know, you'd probably make a lot of great friends and you'd learn things about yourself that you like and don't. And then you'd be. Be done. And you're right, you'd only be 22 and a half years old, 23 years old. You got, you have so much time. There's just so much time, man, I wasted a lot of time. And one of the things I wish I'd done as a military, just because I think you don't also get those moments of camaraderie where you get to be around a bunch of other guys, you know, so those are just my thoughts recognize. I have never been in the military, but I do think you have time to do that and do countless other Things. And if you don't like welding, you know, you don't like it, then maybe it is time for a backup trade to try. Or a backup option. What else is going on? Theo?
- [33:05]
Guest/Caller
I'm a girl and I like girls.
- [33:08]
Theo Von
I had a girlfriend for a while, and recently I found out that. Okay, so you're a girl, you like girls and. Okay, carry on. And recently I found out that my mom's gay too. So now I don't know if I'm gay anymore. Oh, big facts, sister. Okay. Oh. Once our parents start doing something, we don't want to do it anymore. So I think that all checks out. I think you're good. I think just trust your instincts. Little mom here. We got a call. Let's hear this one.
- [33:52]
Guest/Caller
You know, sometimes you land on hard times, man. And you just trying to get, you know, food to eat in a place to sleep or whatever. And I'm like, you know, I got a five gallon bucket of pickles and I'm. I'm going. I'm feeling a bananas from the 7 11, man. I'm going in there and I'm pocketing these bananas from 7 11.
- [34:14]
Theo Von
Yeah, these are free.
- [34:16]
Guest/Caller
How long can I last is what I'm thinking. I was just like, could I last two months on a five gallon bucket of pickles and stealing bananas from 7 11? Because I'm eating bananas and pickles? That's all I'm fucking eating. That's all I got to eat, man. It's all I got to live upon. Live upon, man.
- [34:39]
Theo Von
Yeah, motherfucker. Blm. Dude, look. Yeah, if life gives you pickles and bananas, bitch, mix them. Okay? Yeah, dude. I mean, there's only so long you can be trapped somewhere with pickles and bananas and not put them bitches together, dude. Make some banickles, homie. You feel me? So look, some picnanas, homie. I think that that all checks out, brother. So I don't think there's any shame in it. You can always, once you get your feet back onto you, go back to that 711 and give them money for those bananas. Let's hear a little more.
- [35:20]
Guest/Caller
You know, the world is a cruel place. The world is a cruel fucking place, man. And I realize that, man, when you eating pickles and bananas just to survive.
- [35:31]
Theo Von
You like pickles on your bananas? What? You like pickles on your bananas? You like pickles on your bananas? Well, it blows my mind that we can give so much foreign aid to places when we have people who are eating pickles and bananas. Actually, pickles and Bananas are pretty good, so. That's not what I mean. But yeah, you would think we'd be able to help our own people that are starving first over here. That's just kind of how I feel. I'm kind of an American. I'm a North America first kind of guy, I guess because that's us and our neighbors. But what the do I know? But yeah, man, honestly, you sound pretty healthy. You sound like you're doing pretty good. You ever hit a couple of high notes? Dude, I think you're fine. I join a church choir. Have somebody make some tik tok. See if you can start selling tickets on the road. Brother, you're going to be fine. But yeah, sometimes we all get in tough moments trying to think of something where I was kind of down to my last dime. Oh, I do remember I'd get that block of damn hamburger meat that came in a missile that. They dropped that off a C130, that thing. You know what I'm talking about? It's shaped like a. Like both ends are kind of a wiener. Kind of like the front end of a wiener. God, that thing was heavier. To carry it out like this, you know? And sometimes I'd mix it up by the damn Duraflame logs and actually put that bitch in there and just cook that bitch and having a spoon it out the fire to eat it. Call the fire department. Hey, take some matches, huh? But yeah, man, it sounds like you're doing okay. Let's. What else is going on? What else can I tell you about that happened to me recently? Not much. Going to eat dinner with my neighbors. Looking forward to that. Hitting the road for some more shows. Yeah, we went last week. Oh. Victoria island, which is a beautiful, fascinating little. It's like a. This cold, white Hawaii off of the coast of Vancouver, but just great people, man. Canadians. And grateful to see them. And I'm a Winnipeg jets fan. Just letting everybody know that now, too. I don't want that to cause any issues between me and anybody else. But that's. I'm a Winnipeg jets fan, so I think their jerseys are fire. And I like the. The. I like their. They're doing good and that's good.
- [38:24]
Matt Tyberg
So.
- [38:25]
Theo Von
Okay, I think that works. What else? Let's take this call right here.
- [38:33]
Guest/Caller
Hey, Theo, hope you're doing well. I'm calling you today, see if I can get your perspective on something. My girlfriend of four years, she. She passed away five and a half months ago. She. It was not a surprise, but, you know, she. She had cancer. We Thought that she had a little more time. But. Yeah, since then I've spent most of my time doing nothing. You know, I would visit her grave every day for months, which is good, I guess, for getting out of my apartment, but I would just let the time pass, you know. But recently I've started going back to school full time and working again. And honestly, I feel like I'm just doing it because it's expected of me, you know, from people around me, my family and my peers. So maybe some people just expect me to move forward pretty fast. But, you know, I. I don't want to, you know.
- [39:47]
Theo Von
Well, thanks for the call, man. I'm sorry to hear about that. I can't even imagine that in the sense of losing a girlfriend or a partner, spouse, you know, I've lost people that I've loved, you know, and yet it feels so impossible because I think it's so many things at once. It's like, you know, something is gone and then the finality and the viciousness of life is so evident. And at the same time the preciousness of life and. And how beautiful life is that it could even exist. All that happens at the same time. And then it's not even about us, really, because they're the ones who has. Life has ended. So there's probably sometimes feelings of guilt that I had of like feeling bad that I'd lost someone, you know, or not being able to separate the feelings into okay, I'm in pain or I miss them, or I'm just loathing in my own sadness. I'm getting into self pity. Like all those types of things happened. I remember for me at the same time. And. And for one, it's just so much. And for two, it's hard to organize it and to even start to think and decide which feelings go where. I'd rather just sleep. I'd rather just hope that this goes away. I'd rather dream. I used to do that a lot when my dad died. I would just try and dream a lot because I felt like if I was dreaming, maybe I had a chance to see him or that my feelings could be different or I could be living a completely different experience. So I think a lot of it is normal. And I bet it's hard to get back into the flow of something when you've lost like a partner because you probably think a lot of your life is having that partner there with you. And I think prac. Even if doing something just. Even if you don't feel it, just have the practice of it until Your feelings and your emotional wellness catch up with your actions because one day they will, you know, and you'll be glad that you had started doing these things. Yeah, I don't really know what to say, man. Just appreciate you, like, just telling us what's going on. Maybe some people could call in, actually, and share things that if you had some experience with a loss of a loved one, and I would say a wife, let's. Because this is a man calling, I believe. And so if you lost a wife or a girlfriend, you know, and they passed away, and if you have just some. Maybe some experience with that, if you could drop a call on the voicemail. 985-664-9503. We will come back to that on our next solo episode. I don't know when it'll be. It'll be within the next month. But we'll come back to that and see if we have some answers. Maybe we can get some suggestions from other people. But, yeah, man, I hate to even leave you on this call, but, yeah, life is just sometimes it's just a lot of freaking pickles on your chili, isn't it? Love you, brother. Let's take another call. It's hard to say when somebody's going through something like that, you know, but that's just also the oddness of the world. It just keeps moving. You can't stop it. The world doesn't have any handlebars on it. Time just doesn't have any. It doesn't. You can't get your hands into it. That's the most painful part sometimes of everything. Let's take a call here.
- [44:16]
Guest/Caller
Hey, Theo, I'm having a really hard time right now. I'm 16 years old. I don't have a job, nothing. I got my girlfriend pregnant.
- [44:30]
Theo Von
Okay.
- [44:32]
Guest/Caller
She just turned 18 actually, not too long ago. I'm just kind of in this moment where I don't know what's coming for me in life. Like, I feel like I've failed myself because I made stupid adult decisions at such a young age. And it hurts me really bad. And I honestly just don't know what to do. I'm kind of in this, like, moment where I feel like I felt everybody around me, including my parents, and I'm just not going to be the. The dad that I'm supposed to be. And I'm just scared. I'm just looking for any advice.
- [45:20]
Theo Von
Well, at least she's not your cousin, brother. I'll start right there. And people can say, well, that's just. That's cruel. To be joking. But, hey, one last thing. The guy's got to kind of think about right now. No, man, look, first of all, the fact that you're calling even to talk about this shows I think, a level of maturity that is a lot of people wouldn't do so. Right. You're curious, you're looking at what's going on. You're evaluating where you're at. And you, you're like, well, I want to get to a place where I feel either confident about this or I have some support in this. So how do I get there? Well, I'm going to reach out to other people and see what's going on, see if I can get some thoughts, some suggestions, even to somebody to listen to me. Yeah, that's young to be out there gunning like that, you know, just to be rooting through some trap out there with no visor on, Daddy, you know, with no hoodie on. Yeah, but that's. That's the world we're in. So I wouldn't be. You are where you are. You could also look at it as that God has gifted you guys with an opportunity. I think people will probably be disappointed maybe in where you're at because they don't want to see you miss out on opportunities for yourself that could. That there might be less of. If you have a child, that's probably what the disappointment is. I don't think it's disappointment in you having a child. It's probably disappointment that, well, this may affect your ability to chase some of your dreams or ideas because you have a responsibility now. Now, I'm sure that as time goes on and this child comes into the world, it's going to bring a lot of love in everybody's life. So don't think about just that, man. Let me see, what else did you say?
- [47:14]
Guest/Caller
I feel like I failed everybody around me, including my parents, and I'm just not going to be the. The dad that I'm supposed to be.
- [47:24]
Theo Von
Well, we don't know if you're going to be the dad that you're supposed to be. You know, that's way still to be. To be determined, you know, we don't. We don't know you. That hasn't happened yet. So don't future trip like that. The fact you care about this this much already, I think you're probably gonna be a pretty caring guy, you know, and you're gonna have a. I'm assuming a girlfriend or wife or her and her family as well are gonna help support this child. So you didn't mention that. That, that's going to be a fear. I think everything's gonna be okay, dude. I think it's gonna take some time. I bet it's super scary, bro. 16 years old and you're having a child that's freaking. That's kind of scary. I think you got, you, you, you, you gotta let this play out, man. I think you have a chance to be a young dad now. That'd be cool. Think about that. You're gonna get to do stuff with your, with your kid that a lot of parents will not be able to do. So get to play tetherball, get to do probably some racing quads, like some kind of high speed that, you know, some parents kind of age out of when their kids age into it. Probably be able to play video games, do some VR type. So there's going to be interesting stuff. But all I'm saying is that don't let all the fear take away all the possibility. You know, now you're probably gonna have to grow up pretty quick and there might be a part of your adolescence you're gonna miss out on or it's going to be different or trickier. In fact, you're probably going to grow up pretty fast in some ways. But maybe that's what God needs you for, you know, you just don't know. We don't know what we're needed for in the future. So just hang in there, man. This isn't the end of the world. Hell, this is the beginning of a life that you're responsible for. So it's just, I know it's got to be scary. It's easy for me to say that, you know, I'm sure there's gonna be moments where it's really scary. But try to squeeze into those moments of fear some possibility, man, because that's cool, dude. You get to have a, you get to make a child. You get to have a child that you're going to take care of. So Amen, brother. And God. God luck. God luck to you. What do a mechanic and an auto shop owner in Georgia, a taco restaurant operator in Arizona and a life saving medical innovator in Tennessee have in common? They're all small business owners and they're all thriving on TikTok. Across the US over 7.5 million businesses from family owned shops to entrepreneurs are using TikTok to compete and grow. In fact, 74% of businesses on TikTok say TikTok has allowed them to scale their operations, increasing sales and expanding to new locations and that growth means jobs. Today there are over 7.5 million US businesses on TikTok employing more than 28 million people. And that number keeps growing. Small businesses thrive on TikTok. Learn more about TikTok's contribution to the U.S. economy@TikTok economic impact.com is pornography causing a problem in your life? Do you find yourself watching porno for longer periods of time and having trouble stopping? Is porn affecting your relationship or dating life? Well, you're certainly not alone. Watching pornography has become so commonplace today and oftentimes men use porn to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety and depression. Shame and stigma prevent men from talking about these issues and getting help for them. I want to introduce you to my friend Steve. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity. Steve is a long term sexual recovery member and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography and has dedicated his life to empowering men to do the same. Steve is an amazing person and he is a close friend of mine. I mean that. Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life. Their coaches are in long term recovery and will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide to transcend these problematic behaviors. To learn more about Valor Recovery, please Visit them at www.valorrecoverycoaching.com or email them at admin@valor recovery coaching.com thank you. From time to time on this program, we talk with miracles. Human beings that have. That are the corn of the. That are the cream of the death crop. People that have come so close to the grave but managed to stay out of it. Big bosses, we call them. Big bosses, they call them in some Polynesian areas. And today we're grateful to be able to talk with another miracle here. There he is. Big dog Matt. How are you?
- [52:53]
Matt Tyberg
I'm living the dream, man. Living the dream.
- [52:57]
Theo Von
Amen, brother. Yeah, we love to get to talk to people who've had miracle experiences in their lives and I just really appreciate your time today. How do you say your last name there, brother?
- [53:07]
Matt Tyberg
Tyberg. Matthias Tyberg. Oh, this ankle makes me look so fat, but that's okay.
- [53:14]
Theo Von
Oh, that's fine, man. My sister's fat and that's perfectly fine. Matthias Tyberg. Where are you located, brother?
- [53:24]
Matt Tyberg
I live in Calgary, Alberta.
- [53:27]
Theo Von
Oh, yeah? Yeah. A lot of good people up there eating steaks. And just what are they doing? Mining for gold. Is that the gold area?
- [53:37]
Matt Tyberg
Gold? Oil? Yeah.
- [53:40]
Theo Von
Memphis gold.
- [53:42]
Matt Tyberg
Memphis gold, yeah.
- [53:44]
Theo Von
Now, you've had quite an experience in your life. You've had a. I've heard that you've had a couple miracles kind of occur in your life. Can you kind of take me through, like, some of that. That situation? Yeah. How did it start?
- [53:59]
Matt Tyberg
Well, there's so many different situations. I mean, I've been at a party where I seen somebody that jumped me before, so I told him, let's run the fade or just apologize to me. And I guess he didn't want to do that, so he ended up chasing me, and I tripped and I got stabbed 10 times at once. Lost two thirds of the blood in my body.
- [54:27]
Theo Von
My God, brother, I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for. For just telling us about that. 10 times. That's a lot, Tommy. Did they. Do you. Do you feel like that was a lot? You feel like it was too many? Like, how did you.
- [54:44]
Matt Tyberg
Honestly, you can't feel it because all of your nerves are on the top of your skin, so it just feels like you're getting punched, but you're bleeding, you're leaking.
- [54:54]
Theo Von
Oh, God, brother. And what do you. How do you. And if. If two thirds of you is gone, what do you do at that point? Were you able to call the authorities or what do you do?
- [55:04]
Matt Tyberg
Oh, one of my buddies was on the phone with EMS and Snapchat.
- [55:10]
Theo Von
He was Snapchatting also.
- [55:13]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah.
- [55:14]
Theo Von
Oh, dark times. But you got to make content, you know?
- [55:18]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah.
- [55:18]
Theo Von
And which hole do you plug? Say you have 10 stab wounds. I guess they're referred to as. By the government or whatever. Do you plug one up? Do you pick the most kind of active one? What do you do there?
- [55:34]
Matt Tyberg
Honestly, you don't really know what. What to hold on to, man. I. It was more my. More or less. My stomach hurt, so that's why I was holding my stomach. But I was half dead by the time I got to the hospital, so.
- [55:52]
Theo Von
Did you pass out?
- [55:54]
Matt Tyberg
Oh, yeah.
- [55:55]
Theo Von
Wow. And did you have any experience? You remember anything when you passed down? Like, did you.
- [56:00]
Matt Tyberg
I just remember because I was on Xanax too. So I woke up in the hospital, and then, yeah, I woke up in the hospital, and then apparently, you're only allowed two visitors at once, and eight people come at once to come visit me, so then they kicked me out of the hospital, like, three days after it happened.
- [56:20]
Theo Von
Because, what, you guys were partying a little too much or whatever?
- [56:23]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah, pretty much.
- [56:25]
Theo Von
And were you allowed to drink in the hospital or.
- [56:27]
Matt Tyberg
No, no, no, I wouldn't drink. They were just mad because all my friends showed up at once to See if I was okay.
- [56:37]
Theo Von
Yeah, a lot of people don't live through something like that, man.
- [56:40]
Matt Tyberg
No, I've been hit by the sea train. I've. Oh yeah. The best one is.
- [56:45]
Theo Von
Wait, hold on. What? You got hit by a.
- [56:48]
Matt Tyberg
Well, what happened was, is my buddy knew this foreign exchange student. He gave money to these guys to try and buy him a pack of cigarettes. These guys are like 30 years old. They just told them to off. We're keeping your money. So I decided to go up and punch him as hard as I could in the head. And I didn't realize the police are there. So I'm getting chased by this guy's buddy with like a foot long knife. I keep looking back, still getting chased by the guy with the knife. Then I look back, it's the cops chasing me. So I'm at one end of a semi and the cop is at the other end. Yeah, we're playing peekaboo to see where to go. I'm wearing a bright red Chicago Bulls jacket and I'm freaking hammered. So.
- [57:40]
Theo Von
Dude, that's a fresh outfit, baby. Scotty dripping, huh?
- [57:44]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah. And what happened was I ended up getting arrested for assault. I got bailed. Two weeks later, I'm at the same train station that I punched the guy at. I'm hammered. Standing on the platform and then I get sucker punched in the back of the head and. Oh, who is it? The guy stole that guy. That kid's 20 bucks.
- [58:06]
Theo Von
No.
- [58:06]
Matt Tyberg
And then the. He just ended up pushing me like that and I fell onto the train tracks and the train was coming in, so there's. I didn't know what to do. I just throw my body above the yellow line and it caught my legs and dragged me like 15ft. They like ripped my shoes off. Ripped my pants in half.
- [58:27]
Theo Von
Oh yeah. It's a pervert, basically.
- [58:31]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah.
- [58:32]
Theo Von
Yeah. Who knew that train was a pedophile also? That sounds like a bit much, huh? Dude, that's insane, man. So, and were you drunk or were you already impaired when the train hit you or what kind of condition were you in physically just at that point in your life?
- [58:48]
Matt Tyberg
Oh yeah, I was an everyday alcoholic. We would all, all the boys would meet.
- [58:54]
Theo Von
I got this question though. What. Sorry to interrupt you there, but what kind of train driver would hit a draw? Just hit a guy. Would hit a drunk guy. Did you ever speak with a driver?
- [59:07]
Matt Tyberg
No. Well, the thing is, is the C train's moving so fast, right? So it's coming to dock into the station to let everybody off. There's nothing he really could have done to.
- [59:19]
Theo Von
I don't know. You can see a white dude most of the time, you know, no matter what's going on. But damn, brother, I can't believe that. And so. So you were stabbed 10 times. You've been hit by a train. But God had more in store for you, didn't he? What else happened?
- [59:36]
Matt Tyberg
The biggest one was the balcony because I ended up buying some cocaine. That wasn't. Wasn't all cocaine. So there was meth in it.
- [59:45]
Theo Von
Oh, yeah, right. Then moguls got some bounce to them, huh?
- [59:50]
Matt Tyberg
Man, every time I look through the little hole in my door to be four people outside with weapons trying to bust in, that's what I would see.
- [59:59]
Theo Von
I'm dragging like a diorama kind of.
- [60:02]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah, I'm dragging the couch with the landlord on it to the front door to try and block it.
- [60:08]
Theo Von
Damn, brother.
- [60:09]
Matt Tyberg
He told me to go to bed. So I went to bed and woke up. All I could do was get a glass of water. I looked through that peephole in the door and the same thing. People. Looks like people with guns are trying to bust in the apartment. So I tried to go from my balcony over to the neighbors, and I'm on the seventh floor, so.
- [60:31]
Theo Von
And who are the neighbors? Can we. Let's, let's. Who are they?
- [60:35]
Matt Tyberg
There was nobody even in there. That's why I was trying to get over to the.
- [60:39]
Theo Von
Okay, and how far is that? Is that a jump you're trying to make or did you have a kind of a rope set up or anything like that? Did you have a little trebuchet, anything like you could.
- [60:51]
Matt Tyberg
If you reached across, you could pass a beer to your neighbor. So it wasn't that far.
- [60:56]
Theo Von
Okay.
- [60:56]
Matt Tyberg
I just kind of was trying to leapfrog over. I know it's kind of stupid, but when you're up like that.
- [61:03]
Theo Von
Well, it's a great idea. I mean, here's the thing. People don't realize that people that are wasted have done amazing things. You know, one of the guys. Have you heard of Lewis and Clark?
- [61:16]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah, I think so.
- [61:17]
Theo Von
One of them was an addict and they discovered like a third of the North America. So let's don't. You can't always beat down on addicts. But. So take me out there, you're on the balcony, you're high on cocaine, and what is your plan is to make that leap over to the other balcony?
- [61:34]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah. And then the shittiest, I guess the shittiest attempt ever.
- [61:40]
Theo Von
And was it windy? Was it windy?
- [61:43]
Matt Tyberg
Yes, it was.
- [61:44]
Theo Von
Yeah, brother, Big Maddie, dude. Taking on the freaking boreas twins, brother. Taking on the jet stream up there. Seventh floor. Maddie, one shot. And how do you make that leap, dude? Tell me. Take me through that. Are you wearing shoes?
- [62:02]
Matt Tyberg
At first I stood up right on the thing and held my hand on the wall, but I was walking. Yeah. On the rail of it. So then I was wobbling, so I was like, oh, I'm gonna fall. So I like, crouched down to try and like, leap like that.
- [62:20]
Theo Von
Oh, yeah. Get some build up, a little bit of energy or whatever. What is it called? Potential energy. He crouch down.
- [62:26]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah.
- [62:26]
Theo Von
Yep.
- [62:28]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah. Leave my leapfrog my way down. All the way. 70ft.
- [62:33]
Theo Von
What happened? Did you bounce off the rail or you even hit the other balcony?
- [62:37]
Matt Tyberg
Oh, I didn't even hit the other balcony.
- [62:39]
Theo Von
I'm sorry, dude. Sorry to laugh. There's a glitch in the audio.
- [62:44]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah, no, it's all good. It's pretty. I laugh about it, dude. And now, man, you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes, you know?
- [62:51]
Theo Von
Yeah, but that's also. That's one way to look at it, man. But I think another way to look at it is that you're a miracle. You know, A lot of people do not get to live through stabbings, through train hitting, through falling. How far did you fall?
- [63:07]
Matt Tyberg
70Ft.
- [63:08]
Theo Von
Okay, and take me. Jesus Christ, that's a lot. And take me through some of that. Like when you first hit the. When you. Once you first realized you're not going to make the first balcony, were there lower balconies you could have grabbed?
- [63:22]
Matt Tyberg
Not when, because, damn, you fall so fast. I was 200 pounds at the time. And if you weigh 200 pounds and you go over 50, you fall 50ft, you go terminal velocity.
- [63:34]
Theo Von
Really?
- [63:34]
Matt Tyberg
So I. Yeah, I hit the ground going terminal velocity for the last 20ft.
- [63:40]
Theo Von
Big Dog went down, brother. God, dude. And so what were some of your thoughts during that? Did you get into a certain position to absorb the impact or were you just kind of like letting. Were you praying what was going on.
- [63:53]
Matt Tyberg
When I fell down? Actually, I've seen, like, some people on, like the third or fourth or whatever floor it was, they were outside smoking on their balcony.
- [64:03]
Theo Von
Oh, that's pretty cool.
- [64:05]
Matt Tyberg
I hit the ground, they look over at me and I tell them to bring me some liquor because I know I'm going to the hospital. I can't move my damn body. And I was an alcoholic at the time, so.
- [64:20]
Theo Von
God, dude, who survives that, brother?
- [64:24]
Matt Tyberg
The hideout, man. I've honestly almost died even more times than that. Like When I was a baby, I fell into a motel pool while my parents weren't there and I. I was drowned, pronounced dead. I came back, so. Yeah.
- [64:38]
Theo Von
Well, you must feel like God wants you here for a reason, brother.
- [64:42]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah.
- [64:44]
Theo Von
What do you feel like that is after all this? I mean, that's countless times you've escaped death, man, you know. Yeah. You know, forced to swim as a baby, train hitting, stabbing, stabbing or hot, you know, high amount stabbing, 70 foot fall off of a balcony.
- [65:05]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah, I've been stabbed other times too.
- [65:08]
Theo Von
But I think. Right. I understand what you're getting at, but I think. What do you feel like you're. Do you feel like you have a bigger purpose? There's a reason a lot of people are not able to go through all that, man. You understand? That's pretty miraculous. Do you understand, understand that?
- [65:21]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah.
- [65:22]
Theo Von
Amen, brother. And how are you doing today? What's your physical state today?
- [65:28]
Matt Tyberg
I'm a tetraplegic, so I can like, I can't feel or move anything. Chest down, I can move my arms, but my fingers are stuck like this.
- [65:40]
Theo Von
Oh yeah. Kind of like Muhammad Ali or whatever.
- [65:44]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah. But at the end of the day, I don't ever complain about it because man, I'm the one who wanted to do coke and I can't blame that on somebody else.
- [65:55]
Theo Von
I mean, and you're a survivor, brother. You're a damn survivor, dude. You're a damn. You know, I'm saying you're a damn. A gravity monkey, dude. Do you think you will ever walk again, brother?
- [66:10]
Matt Tyberg
Probably not, but I'm okay with that. I don't really. I love watching YouTube. There's so much people come up with stuff every day. Oh yeah, gives me something to do.
- [66:20]
Theo Von
Oh yeah, you can watch people walk on YouTube all day if you want and take it easy, you know. Yeah, but man, I just. Yeah, I appreciate you just jumping on and I appreciate you paying attention to the show and. Yeah, we're gonna come to Calgary, dude. You got to come out. I'd love to get to meet you out there.
- [66:36]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah, I'm coming. I already got my VIP tickets, so.
- [66:41]
Theo Von
Sweet, bro. Well, yeah, we'll have to catch up. Dude, I want to touch some magic limbs you got on you, daddy. I want to rub them for good luck. Hell yeah. Where do you live these days, man?
- [66:55]
Matt Tyberg
I live in. Well now I'm so crippled I gotta live in like a long term care home. So I'm, I'm the youngest here. It's pretty much just older people.
- [67:06]
Theo Von
Any chicks in there or What?
- [67:09]
Matt Tyberg
No, not really. Any disabled chicks, you gotta pray to.
- [67:13]
Theo Von
Meet the one you want. That's what my friend told me the other day. He said, are you praying to meet the woman you want to meet? You know?
- [67:19]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah.
- [67:20]
Theo Von
So I gotta start.
- [67:20]
Matt Tyberg
I kind of gave up because once you. Once you sever your spinal cord, man, you can't even bust a nut. I haven't busted a nut since I fell from that balcony.
- [67:31]
Theo Von
Oh, damn. How. How long before you had fallen to. Had you busted a nut, you think?
- [67:37]
Matt Tyberg
The day before.
- [67:38]
Theo Von
Amen, brother. Finish strong.
- [67:43]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah.
- [67:45]
Theo Von
And look, man, you're gonna bust one. We're gonna. We're gonna. If we can do anything, if we hear of anything that, you know, could help you, any elixirs or anything like that, we'll see what we can do, man. But yeah, dude, that's. That's. If you can get hit by a train and still be alive or whatever you can, you'll get another nut out.
- [68:07]
Matt Tyberg
Oh, yeah, that would be nice.
- [68:10]
Theo Von
Amen, brother. Well, thank you so much, dude. Give my best. Everybody up there in Calgary, bro, America's getting weird. We're probably all going to come up there soon, so. Say, save me room up there, big dog.
- [68:23]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah, Calgary is probably the best, nicest city in Canada. I think so.
- [68:28]
Theo Von
Dude, Canada is so great, man. And it's safe, too. That's the best thing about your stories I noticed, is that you didn't get shot in one of them.
- [68:36]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah, I've been shot at, but.
- [68:39]
Theo Von
But that don't count. You got to come to America to get shot, bro. That's where we do. So.
- [68:44]
Matt Tyberg
They won't let me across the border.
- [68:47]
Theo Von
Oh, we'll see what we can do. Well, look, right now you're probably an insurance risk. I would guess so.
- [68:53]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah.
- [68:55]
Theo Von
But. Yeah, dude, that's a good thing about Canada. They got knives, so you always stand a chance. You. That's one thing I like.
- [69:01]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah. Yeah. At least you're not getting shot, just killed instantly.
- [69:07]
Theo Von
Yeah. That's so. And lame, dude. I mean, look at you. If you got shot that first time, we wouldn't even. You wouldn't even got hit by a train. That's crazy to say, but you would. You know, the other stuff wouldn't even have happened. You wouldn't have had these other experiences, you know?
- [69:23]
Matt Tyberg
Yeah.
- [69:25]
Theo Von
So no doubt. You're like the worst Evil Knievel in some ways, you know. Sorry, dude, that's not funny.
- [69:33]
Matt Tyberg
But it is funny, dude. I laugh at anything, man. If I didn't become a criminal before, I would have Became a comedian, dude. I. I just didn't have any father figure in my life. Still. I was homeless, 16 years old, downtown, selling weed, so not making good choices, but.
- [69:56]
Theo Von
Well, you're alive today, man. Yeah. I do believe that you're here for a purpose and even just sharing your story right here today, man. You know, resilience is huge, and I think the future's bright, brother. I believe that, and I'm just glad I got to talk to you today. And, well, we got our first Canadian miracle right there. Matt, how do you say your last name?
- [70:15]
Matt Tyberg
Tyberg.
- [70:16]
Theo Von
Matt Tyberg right there. Ladies and gentlemen, if you don't believe in miracles, you got to believe in them now. That's what I feel like. And, Matt, thanks for your time, dude. I look forward to catching up with you in a couple months.
- [70:27]
Matt Tyberg
All right, awesome. Sounds good. Have a great day.
- [70:30]
Theo Von
All right. YouTube, brother. Cheers, man.
- [70:32]
Matt Tyberg
Cheers.
- [70:34]
Theo Von
Matthew Tyberg, right there. Let's see if we got one more call that came in here.
- [70:43]
Guest/Caller
Hey, Theo, this is Willie Bones. What's up, bro?
- [70:47]
Theo Von
Willie Bones coming through, baby. Breaker, breaker, one nine. Go through. Bones.
- [70:52]
Guest/Caller
What's up, gang? Yo, man, I just got one question for you, man. Like, I'm dealing with active addiction with, you know, the blow or whatever, but.
- [71:04]
Theo Von
Yeah, doing cocaine, brother. I hear you. What's going on?
- [71:07]
Guest/Caller
And I'm just. I just want some tips or some advice, man, on how I can kick this. Like, I just have problems, man. I say I'm gonna stop. Never do. Sure. You know, you went through the same, eh? But.
- [71:21]
Theo Von
Well, thanks for calling, Willie. The only things I know about this are I don't think you can quit cocaine without quitting alcohol. That's for me. That's what I've seen. I'm not saying that's everybody's case. I'm not. That's for me. For me, that's what I've seen. And then let me think about what else. Yeah, I think you have to get into recovery now. If you're pretty bad off, first you need to go to a detox. And then once you're clean, then you need to get into a recovery program, you know, maybe a 30 day or inpatient or then start to go to Cocaine Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous meetings with a friend. If you don't like Cocaine Anonymous meetings, I suggest Alcoholics Anonymous because there's more meetings and it's the same thing. Cocaine and alcohol aren't the same thing, but addiction is the same. So if you can. You can apply the same principles and you can talk to A sponsor about doing that. I wish I had some other cure for you. That's the only thing that I know that's ever helped me. So I wish you the best of luck, man. It's scary. You know what I realized too, about drugs? For me, I was just too much of a pussy to do them, really. Some people could get all fucked up and have a blast. I couldn't do that. I'd get all fucked up and squirrel away. I'd hide in your fucking mailbox, bitch. Ups, boy. I'll hide in your cousin's ass, boy, and take everybody's temperature in there, dog. Praise God, man. Thank you for calling, brother. And thank you guys again for all the support. We may add a few more shows to this tour. We're almost done with it and I just want to let you know that. And thank you to everybody that's come out. I can't even believe it. What else can I update you on? Oh, we're figuring out some of our stuff with the foundation and what we're going to do. Been doing some calls with different people and just figuring out how to, like, make a positive difference in the. In the world or in our community starting there. So that's something. That's exciting. I want it to be in the recovery space. I don't know what it all looks like, but in my spare time, I've been just discussing with other people who have done similar type things. And I just need to pray a little bit more and see if I can get more insight, you know, just to lead me to something. Because, yeah, I mean, there's causes for sure, there's lots of things, but I want to. I want to. Yeah, I want to land in a space that I'm going to feel motivated to keep doing, you know? One more call that came in, I.
- [73:59]
Guest/Caller
Feel it's Lenore from Florida.
- [74:02]
Theo Von
Eleanor from Florida. Thank you for calling.
- [74:06]
Guest/Caller
I'm calling to wish you a happy birthday because if I Remember right, it's March 17th. Anyway, I'm sending you a big virtual hug. I want you to know you're a very special person, shining light of not only laughs, but of so much love and compassion. I hope you're doing whatever makes you happy today. Keep shining your light. Love you, Theo Gang.
- [74:35]
Theo Von
Oh, thanks, Lenore. That's sweet of you. I appreciate that. Yeah, that's just sweet of you to say. I feel, you know, I think I feel a little more purposeful sometimes in my life these days. I think. I think there was this moment kind of even when I had Whenever we talked with Cat Williams on the episode, and he said, well, I was talking about, well, I don't know about this. I don't know about that. He's like, well, what don't you know? He's like, you're here. You're in this conversation right now. You're in this moment. So to keep second guessing everything, you know, you're here. There's a. You're here, right? Like. Like, because I think there was something like. I don't know if we should talk about that. He's like, well, when are we going to talk about it? We have to talk about this. Is. We're here talking about it. You know, in a lot of my life, I've. I've. I've. I've been standing in, you know, I've been standing in the, in the water, but not really ready to get wet, but it's like. But I'm. I'm in the water, you know, but it's like I'm waiting for this third day, you know, but there was this moment with him where he's just like, this is where you are. This is. And I don't mean me, but it's anybody. This is where this. It's. If it's happening now, it's happening now, like, there, you know, Because a lot of my M.O. is I get all this and later and that. And it's like, you know, so I do feel sometimes a little more purposeful. I don't know even what that means exactly, but I just. I don't know, I start to feel a little bit more okay where I am, you know, and that. Yeah, I believe that. Yeah, I believe that God's given me a lot of neat stuff, opportunity, like, you know, I believe that you guys have helped me learn, like, how to express, like, my feelings and learn about. Yeah, just thinking and feeling together. We've done a lot of that on this program over the years. And, yeah, I think at some point it, you know, there are positives from that, you know, and so I think, yeah, that's where I feel. I feel like a little bit like there's a reason that all this has kind of happened and that there are some positives and let's start to maybe see what those are and not just in me, but just like, yeah, what. What can be done as a group? What. What can I start or be a part of starting or what can we be a part of starting that could be of service? You know? I don't know. I don't know exactly what I'm saying, but. But I'm able to say it now more than I felt like I was in the past and feel like that's where I'm supposed to be. So. Yeah, I just feel lucky to be alive, you know, Lucky to get to see certain things. And I think America's getting weird and interesting and it's getting like, good versus evil type, and I'm here for that. You know, I think we've all always wanted to live in, like, in the Gryffindor vs Slytherin type shit type shit. So. But anyway, thank you. Thanks for the happy birthday wishes. What did I do? My buddy John Shahidi from. From Happy dad sent me a gift. I haven't even opened it yet. My. Did my brother give me something. I don't know. My brother came in town, too, and his buddy's friend was up here visiting their kid. Their kid was in show choir at the Grand Ole Opry or at the Opry Mills. So I got to spend some time with them. What else do we do? Took mom to my favorite breakfast place. That was fun. Oh, my mom did give me a gift. She got me an ounce of silver. You know, my mom was never a gold digger. She was a silver digger, though. Shout out to silver diggers, dude. They don't end up with shit. But, you know, but they're not gold diggers, dude. But my mom, like, you know, she's ready for, like, the end of things, right? So she's ready. She's like, when the banks go awry and all the, you know, everything falls apart online, you're going to have. So you could have real silver and you can trade it for stuff. So she got me, like, an ounce of silver, so that was really cool. I never had that. And what else? Oh, I got a pair of boots. Bought myself a pair of boots that I really like. And what else did I do? Oh, I texted some of my friends that had the same birthday, trying to think. Oh, I had to work. I had a podcast that I did with a hostage negotiator that was pretty cool. So got to do that. And did it. Is that when I did that? Yep. Yeah. So that's what I did, man. I did the things. Yeah. That I like to do on my birthday. I think I went and worked out. I got to podcast, I got to listen to some music with my mom and. And it was great. And I'm grateful to be here with you guys today. And yeah, thank you, Lenore, for the sweet message and thank. And I don't know what that was. And thank you, everybody, for the support. And, yeah, the hotline is always, if you need it, 985-664-9503. And, yeah, there's a light out there for all of us, man. You know, for all types of people and life. Sometimes, you know, you just don't get it the way you want it. But it's still. I don't know. Sometimes you got to meet it halfway, man. Sometimes you got to put your own pickles on your chili, brother. But there's a light for all of us. You guys be good to yourselves, baby. You deserve it, man. Faceless and tight Come take my hand and walk there with me I know a place where we can be free There is a light shining for you who needs matches? I'm on fire. Hey, two shots of Fireball. The Bronx is burning. From the mountaintops and to the deepest valleys we hear our voice Follow, you do the troll oh, and a rising star I'm upstairs.