Podcast Summary: Thoroughly ADHD
Host: Alex Delmar Coaching
Episode: Choose Meaning Over Mayhem: Enjoy the Holidays with ADHD
Date: November 23, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Alex Delmar, certified ADHD coach and person with ADHD, kicks off a three-part holiday series focused on reducing overwhelm and increasing enjoyment during the holiday season for people with ADHD. Part one centers on how intentional planning and preparation can transform holiday chaos into meaningful experiences.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Holidays Can Be Overwhelming for People with ADHD

• Sensory overload, social anxiety, and high expectations often turn what should be a joyful time into a "perfect storm of overwhelm, exhaustion and even meltdowns" (00:28).
• Alex emphasizes that with some strategic planning, the holidays can become “less stressful and more fun.”

2. The Power of Planning and Preparation

• Early prep is critical. Waiting until the last minute is a common ADHD pitfall, but around the holidays, “everything takes much longer… Waiting sets you up to spend the whole holiday mad at yourself.” (01:18)
• People with ADHD often set unrealistically high expectations and ambitious plans; it’s important to be realistic about what is achievable within your time and capacity.

3. Steps for Effective Holiday Planning

• Don’t just list what to do—consider:
  • How much time each task takes
  • When it can be done
  • Who can help
  • How to add fun, urgency, or interest for follow-through (02:14)
• “The process might sound like a drag, but doing this work up front will make everything else less painful.” (02:42)

4. Structuring Plans That Stick

• Stick to your normal routine as much as possible; fit holiday tasks around your existing habits and responsibilities.
• Be realistic and leave flex time to adapt to the unexpected.
• Write everything down in a format “you cannot misplace” and that can be revisited and revised as needed. (03:33)

5. Prioritize Meaningful Activities and Connections

• Start your planning by listing “non-negotiable responsibilities” (like work deadlines or required events).
• Then, focus on activities, traditions, and people that hold the most meaning for you.
  • “Otherwise, you’re choosing to give up things you love in order to spend time and energy on stuff that does not matter.” (05:14)
• Choose a few meaningful experiences rather than trying to do it all: “Relish the experience… instead of racing through them all.” (05:34)

6. Delegate, Simplify, and Collaborate

• Hold on to the tasks you care about; for the rest, find shortcuts and delegate.
  • Example strategies: “Plan a potluck, order the main dishes, or just gather for dessert… This is not cheating, it’s freeing up time and energy so you can actually focus on enjoying the holiday.” (06:13)
• If someone else usually handles everything, pitch in and “take advantage of knowing what motivates your ADHD brain” to take responsibility for urgent, interesting, or fun tasks. (07:10)
• Collaboration with others helps create shared experiences and relieves burden.

7. Coping When Things Go “Wrong”

• “When things don’t go exactly as you hoped, take a few deep breaths before reacting. Center yourself and think about the big picture. People will remember how you made them feel, not that you burned the pie crust.” (08:13)
• Shift focus from perfection to enjoyment and connection.

8. ADHD Cornerstones for Well-Being During Holidays

• Sleep, nutrition, movement, and downtime are crucial for ADHD symptom management.
  • Commit to at least “one healthful meal every day”
  • Use opportunities for exercise and mindfulness, like outdoor play or crafting with kids (09:12)

9. Recap and Takeaway Messages

• “Having written plans is essential. Look for shortcuts and delegate tasks whenever possible. Prioritize the people and traditions that are most important to you. Work together, practice self-care, and aim for keeping in the spirit of the holiday, not for perfection.” (09:47)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The festive atmosphere entails a lot of additional sensory input. Holiday parties involve social pitfalls. The high expectations placed on time with family and friends can be anxiety inducing altogether.” (00:11)
• “When we do plan ahead, people with ADHD tend to put very high expectations on ourselves and come up with ambitious ideas that, given the limitations of the space time continuum, are unfortunately impossible to accomplish.” (01:48)
• “Of the things that are important to you, choose the best one or two examples and relish the experience.” (05:29)
• “If you have been trying to do everything by yourself, stop it... This is not cheating, it's freeing up time and energy so you can actually focus on enjoying the holiday.” (06:10)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – 01:47: Introduction; why holidays can be tough for those with ADHD
• 01:47 – 04:13: The importance of realistic planning and avoiding last-minute chaos
• 04:13 – 05:47: Distinguishing non-negotiables and prioritizing meaningful connections and traditions
• 05:47 – 07:22: Delegation, simplifying, and working with your neurotype to distribute holiday tasks
• 07:22 – 08:35: Handling disappointment and focusing on how you treat others
• 08:35 – 09:47: Four cornerstones of ADHD self-care during holidays
• 09:47 – 10:26: Recap and preview of the next episode: thriving at holiday gatherings

Tone and Style

Alex maintains a warm, pragmatic, and encouraging tone throughout the episode. Practicality and self-compassion are emphasized over perfection or holiday “hustle,” with actionable advice tailored for those with ADHD.

Next Episode Preview:
Tune in next Tuesday for part two, with strategies for handling holiday gatherings.

This summary presents the episode’s wisdom, core strategies, and encouraging perspective for listeners eager to make their holidays both manageable and meaningful with ADHD.