Thoroughly ADHD – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Choose, Pair, and Scale Rewards To Start, Stick With, And Repeat Hard Tasks
Host: Alex Delmar (Certified ADHD Coach)
Release Date: March 9, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, Alex Delmar, certified ADHD coach and person with ADHD, explores effective strategies to design, choose, and scale rewards for motivating ADHD brains to start, stick with, and repeat challenging tasks. She addresses common pitfalls (such as guilt over rewarding oneself, or the sense that rewards "don't work"), provides frameworks for choosing personally meaningful rewards, and discusses methods to scale and layer rewards for bigger goals. She also shares tips for combining rewards with daily ADHD symptom management practices and tailoring them to work for individuals with ADHD's unique motivational wiring.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Why Rewards Matter for ADHD ([00:00])

• Rewards are a "vital component" for motivating the ADHD brain to start, finish, and repeat important behaviors.
• Many people with ADHD skip rewards (due to feelings of guilt or ineffectiveness), but Alex argues this is usually because the chosen reward isn't genuinely motivating.

2. Identifying the Right Rewards ([01:15])

• If you feel a reward "doesn't work," it likely isn't meaningful enough:
  • "If you really don't care about whether something happens or not, that's not a good reward for you." (Alex, 01:18)
• To find effective rewards, Alex suggests three self-reflection prompts:
  • What is something you've always wanted to try but haven’t made time for?
  • What is something you love doing now, but wish you could do more of?
  • What did you enjoy before being overwhelmed by responsibilities?
• Examples include creative activities, sports, socializing, crafting, hobbies—essentially, anything that allows relaxation, fun, or creativity.

3. Customizing Rewards for Scale ([02:45])

• Break down enjoyable activities into different “sizes” to match them to different goals.
  • Use short segments for small rewards.
  • Scale up the stakes for long-term achievements.

4. Overcoming Guilt and Pairing with Symptom Management ([03:40])

• If you feel undeserving of rewards, pair them with one of the "four cornerstones" of ADHD symptom management:
  1. Physical exercise: E.g., a daily Zumba class as both a necessary activity and a reward.
  2. Mindfulness: Incorporate crafts, coloring books, gardening, puzzles, or music-making as mindful rewards or activities after task completion.
  3. Sleep: Sleep itself is essential; consider a nap as a reward for finishing tasks or offer a special morning treat for going to bed on time.
  • Memorable suggestion: “If you get to bed on time, allow yourself something special in the morning, or you can reward yourself with a nap when you finish your work right away instead of procrastinating.” (Alex, 05:05)

5. Examples of Scaling and Pairing Rewards ([05:40])

• Rewards don't need to be repetitive—sometimes one-off incentives are highly effective.
  • Example: “Order that silly bedspread with a print of your pet riding a rocket through outer space as an incentive for completing your term paper.” (Alex, 06:00)
• Be cautious with food as a reward due to potential issues with disordered eating; suggest experiential food-related rewards (cooking shows, culinary tours) for foodies.
  • “If you’re a total foodie, perhaps watching a segment of a cooking show, splurging on ingredients, taking a cooking class, or traveling on a culinary tour of your favorite cuisine would work for you.” (Alex, 06:40)
• Use increasing reward scales as you tackle harder tasks: e.g., listen to a favorite band during homework (small), attend their concert film after an exam (medium), travel to see them live for a major accomplishment (large).

6. Timing and Frequency of Rewards ([07:20])

• Immediate rewards are critical for ADHD motivation—the closer the reward, the more helpful.
• For longer goals, frequent milestone rewards or “drip” motivators keep you on track.
• For far-off goals, use visual or psychological reminders to maintain excitement (e.g., photos, browsing related content, checking off days on a calendar).
  • “If a reward is more than a couple of weeks in the future, you should include frequent reminders that are representative of the reward to come.” (Alex, 08:05)

7. Systems for Tracking and Redeeming Rewards ([08:40])

• Gamify reward systems for longer or continuous tasks:
  • Token systems (charts, jars with marbles, smiley faces) help bridge the gap for small steps.
  • Have clear conversion rules for unlocking preferred rewards.

8. Final Takeaways and Invitation ([09:40])

• Experiment with rewards—make them immediate and meaningful.
• “Remember that it’s beneficial to have a reward immediately upon starting the first step of a task. Like sitting down at your desk earns a reward. Then reward yourself for continuing to work and when you reach the goal for the day—a sort of drip method to get you to the end of the task.” (Alex, 09:43)
• For more on this, Alex points listeners to the previous episode about rewards and ADHD symptom management.

Notable Quotes

• “If you think that rewards don't work for you, it's likely that you're not using the right rewards.” (Alex, 00:35)
• “If you really don't care about whether something happens or not, that's not a good reward for you.” (Alex, 01:18)
• “You may find that the hard stuff requires more meaningful rewards to power the greater effort.” (Alex, 07:00)
• “With ADHD, most of us can't just jump to big deal rewards. We need the small, continual motivators right up until we reach the end goal.” (Alex, 07:26)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00 – Why rewards matter for those with ADHD
• 01:15 – How to choose effective and meaningful rewards
• 02:45 – Adapting and scaling rewards to match tasks of different difficulty
• 03:40 – Addressing guilt; integrating rewards with daily ADHD management
• 05:40 – Specific, creative reward examples and scaling up
• 07:20 – The importance of immediate and milestone rewards
• 08:40 – Tools: token systems, tracking progress, and redeeming rewards
• 09:40 – Recap of strategies and encouragement to experiment

Summary

This episode offers a practical, compassionate approach for people with ADHD to build consistency and motivation through strategically chosen, well-timed, and scalable rewards. Alex Delmar emphasizes that rewards are highly individual and should be closely aligned with genuine interests and the scale of the accomplishment. Layering these rewards with daily symptom management, gamifying routines, and using drip or milestone-based incentives leverages the ADHD brain’s need for immediacy. Throughout, Alex maintains an upbeat, encouraging tone and provides lots of actionable suggestions, making this a valuable guide for listeners seeking to improve their habits and achieve challenging goals.