Thoroughly ADHD
Host: Alex Delmar Coaching
Episode: Try Different, Not Harder with the ADHD Scientific Method
Date: January 30, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, host and certified ADHD coach Alex Delmar discusses how the typical advice for managing ADHD often fails to address the real challenges people with ADHD face. Alex introduces the concept of “trying different, not harder” and walks listeners through an "ADHD scientific method" for problem-solving. The focus is on practical experimentation, developing personalized strategies, and self-compassion rather than relying on sheer willpower.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Problem with “Just Try Harder” (00:02–02:10)

• Common Frustrations: Alex highlights that ADHD advice often assumes simple solutions like using a planner, but overlooks the complex effort required by those with ADHD.
• Quote:
  “A lot of the advice for managing ADHD has some level of: that’s a great idea. Now how do I do that?” — Alex (00:02)
• People with ADHD accumulate planners and tips, but struggle with consistency and the extra layers of effort (carrying a pen, remembering to check).
• Key Insight:
  “We’re told to try harder, but we don’t need to try harder. We need to try different.” — Alex (01:45)

Introducing the ADHD Scientific Method (02:11–03:00)

• Changing the Approach: Instead of relying on willpower, Alex explains the importance of analyzing and experimenting with different strategies.
• Personal Example: As a student, Alex couldn’t complete homework despite the high stakes, illustrating that increased effort isn’t always the solution.

Steps of the ADHD Scientific Method

1. Pick a Problem

   • Identify any recurring challenge that needs improvement.
   • Example: Forgetting to do homework despite knowing the consequences.

2. Analyze the Problem

   • Break down the issue into specific sticking points (decision-making, time management, organization, etc.).
   • Be as detailed as possible to find root causes.

3. Brainstorm Solutions

   • Think of all possible methods to minimize or remove the barriers.
   • Alex recommends focusing on:
     • Close proximity
     • High visibility
     • Good timing
     • Connectivity (linking with existing habits)
   • Example: For picking up clothes, possible strategies include:
     • Placing a hamper where you undress
     • Adding hooks or changing furniture position
     • Setting reminders or alarms
   • Quote:
     “Have fun with this part and write down as many ideas as you can think of—even the ones that seem a little out there.” — Alex (05:55)

4. Test a Solution

   • Start with the easiest and most promising strategy.
   • Connect the new behavior to an already established routine (e.g., scan the floor after showering).

5. Track Results

   • Use simple systems: smiley faces, X’s on a grid, daily photos.

6. Refine and Repeat

   • If it doesn’t work, try a new strategy. If it helps, keep going or tweak as needed.
   • Repeat until the outcome is reached.

Self-Compassion & Celebrate Progress (09:00–10:30)

• Practice Grace: Alex urges listeners to be compassionate with themselves during this experimental process.
• Reward Yourself: Don’t wait for outside validation. Simple self-rewards can help reinforce new habits.
• Quote:
  “Rewards can be as simple as giving yourself a pat on the back or savoring the result of your actions.” — Alex (10:15)
• Note on Others’ Expectations: Others may see things like picking up clothes as basic, but credit your own progress.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We’re told to try harder, but we don’t need to try harder. We need to try different.” — Alex (01:45)
• “Have fun with this part and write down as many ideas as you can think of—even the ones that seem a little out there.” — Alex (05:55)
• “Rewards can be as simple as giving yourself a pat on the back or savoring the result of your actions.” — Alex (10:15)
• “Chances are that to the significant other, keeping clothes off the floor is basic consideration and something a child can manage. But those of us with ADHD know you deserve credit for your efforts.” — Alex (10:36)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:02 — Opening problem: Why “try harder” doesn’t work
• 01:10 — Personal anecdote: Homework difficulties & internal barriers
• 02:40 — Step-by-step breakdown of the ADHD scientific method
• 05:55 — Brainstorming strategies for real-life challenges
• 09:00 — Emphasis on self-compassion and self-acknowledgment
• 10:36 — Validation of listeners’ experiences and efforts

Takeaway & Tone

Alex Delmar offers a compassionate, practical perspective for people with ADHD, emphasizing experimentation—“trying different” instead of “trying harder.” The tone is warm, validating, and slightly humorous, aimed at making listeners feel less alone in their struggles and more empowered to find solutions that actually work for them.