Try Different, Not Harder with the ADHD Scientific Method - Thoroughly ADHD

Summary

Thoroughly ADHD
Host: Alex Delmar Coaching
Episode: Try Different, Not Harder with the ADHD Scientific Method
Date: January 30, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, host and certified ADHD coach Alex Delmar discusses how the typical advice for managing ADHD often fails to address the real challenges people with ADHD face. Alex introduces the concept of “trying different, not harder” and walks listeners through an "ADHD scientific method" for problem-solving. The focus is on practical experimentation, developing personalized strategies, and self-compassion rather than relying on sheer willpower.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Problem with “Just Try Harder” (00:02–02:10)

Common Frustrations: Alex highlights that ADHD advice often assumes simple solutions like using a planner, but overlooks the complex effort required by those with ADHD.
Quote:
“A lot of the advice for managing ADHD has some level of: that’s a great idea. Now how do I do that?” — Alex (00:02)
People with ADHD accumulate planners and tips, but struggle with consistency and the extra layers of effort (carrying a pen, remembering to check).
Key Insight:
“We’re told to try harder, but we don’t need to try harder. We need to try different.” — Alex (01:45)

Introducing the ADHD Scientific Method (02:11–03:00)

Changing the Approach: Instead of relying on willpower, Alex explains the importance of analyzing and experimenting with different strategies.
Personal Example: As a student, Alex couldn’t complete homework despite the high stakes, illustrating that increased effort isn’t always the solution.

Steps of the ADHD Scientific Method

Pick a Problem
- Identify any recurring challenge that needs improvement.
- Example: Forgetting to do homework despite knowing the consequences.
Analyze the Problem
- Break down the issue into specific sticking points (decision-making, time management, organization, etc.).
- Be as detailed as possible to find root causes.
Brainstorm Solutions
- Think of all possible methods to minimize or remove the barriers.
- Alex recommends focusing on:
  - Close proximity
  - High visibility
  - Good timing
  - Connectivity (linking with existing habits)
- Example: For picking up clothes, possible strategies include:
  - Placing a hamper where you undress
  - Adding hooks or changing furniture position
  - Setting reminders or alarms
- Quote:
  “Have fun with this part and write down as many ideas as you can think of—even the ones that seem a little out there.” — Alex (05:55)
Test a Solution
- Start with the easiest and most promising strategy.
- Connect the new behavior to an already established routine (e.g., scan the floor after showering).
Track Results
- Use simple systems: smiley faces, X’s on a grid, daily photos.
Refine and Repeat
- If it doesn’t work, try a new strategy. If it helps, keep going or tweak as needed.
- Repeat until the outcome is reached.

Self-Compassion & Celebrate Progress (09:00–10:30)

Practice Grace: Alex urges listeners to be compassionate with themselves during this experimental process.
Reward Yourself: Don’t wait for outside validation. Simple self-rewards can help reinforce new habits.
Quote:
“Rewards can be as simple as giving yourself a pat on the back or savoring the result of your actions.” — Alex (10:15)
Note on Others’ Expectations: Others may see things like picking up clothes as basic, but credit your own progress.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“We’re told to try harder, but we don’t need to try harder. We need to try different.” — Alex (01:45)
“Have fun with this part and write down as many ideas as you can think of—even the ones that seem a little out there.” — Alex (05:55)
“Rewards can be as simple as giving yourself a pat on the back or savoring the result of your actions.” — Alex (10:15)
“Chances are that to the significant other, keeping clothes off the floor is basic consideration and something a child can manage. But those of us with ADHD know you deserve credit for your efforts.” — Alex (10:36)

Timestamps for Key Segments

00:02 — Opening problem: Why “try harder” doesn’t work
01:10 — Personal anecdote: Homework difficulties & internal barriers
02:40 — Step-by-step breakdown of the ADHD scientific method
05:55 — Brainstorming strategies for real-life challenges
09:00 — Emphasis on self-compassion and self-acknowledgment
10:36 — Validation of listeners’ experiences and efforts

Takeaway & Tone

Alex Delmar offers a compassionate, practical perspective for people with ADHD, emphasizing experimentation—“trying different” instead of “trying harder.” The tone is warm, validating, and slightly humorous, aimed at making listeners feel less alone in their struggles and more empowered to find solutions that actually work for them.

Transcript

A (0:02)

A lot of the advice for managing ADHD has some level of that's a great idea. Now how do I do that? Like when we're told to just keep track of appointments in a planner. As if most of us don't have a whole collection of planners with only a half dozen entries in each of them. With adhd, we have to make extra effort to figure out how to have a writing implement handy. Keep the planner accessible and remember to check it every day. This is where the scientific method of ADHD symptom management comes into play. It's a technique for developing the most effective strategies to help things run more smoothly for yourself. I'm Alex Delmar, a certified ADHD coach and person with ADHD. Welcome to ThoroughlyADHD, where I share what I've learned to help other people with ADHD enjoy better lives. People around us get frustrated when we exhibit the same problematic characteristics over and over. And though we try over and over to change unwanted ADHD associated behaviors by sheer force of will, it almost never works. We're told to try harder, but we don't need to try harder. We need to try different. Here's an example some of you might relate to When I was a student, I could not complete my homework, even though I knew I'd be embarrassed in class the next day or get in trouble when the next test came around. Night after night I'd try again and generally got nowhere. I didn't see how it was possible to try any harder. I didn't have the maturity or the knowledge to consider what changes I might make to improve my chances of getting the work done. I could have asked, how can I remember what I'm supposed to do? Is this the best environment for me to concentrate? Am I hungry, thirsty, tired, overly emotional, or antsy? Every once in a while I'd be inspired and do a great job on something. But it never occurred to me to examine what was different this time and try to replicate it. And that's exactly what we need to do with anything that's consistently giving us trouble. So here's the scientific method. Step one is to pick a problem. Any problem. Step two is to think through the parts or steps involved and identify the sticking points that cause the problem. Difficulties commonly fall into categories such as making decisions, managing your time, remembering multiple steps, and being disorganized. But be as detailed as possible. Step three is to brainstorm potential ways to minimize or resolve these roadblocks. The most effective changes often involve close proximity, high visibility, good timing, and connectivity. This means any tools you need are close to the point of performance, Cues are in your line of sight, the activity is scheduled for when you have sufficient energy and time to complete it, and the new behavior is associated with something you're already doing. For instance, let's say there's friction in your relationship because you frequently leave your clothes on the floor. For you, just trying harder to pick up your clothes isn't enough or you would be doing it already. Consider changes you might make to increase the likelihood you'll pick them up. Will it help to put a hamper next to where you undress, or to change clothes in a different location or to move the furniture around? Do you need hooks on the wall or a designated spot for empty hangers? Should you get dressed earlier so you have time to put away reject outfits or get ready for bed earlier so you're not too tired to deal with it? How much earlier do you need to post a reminder next to the door and on the bedside table? Or set a daily alarm that tells you it's time to pick up your clothes? Maybe you need to adjust the temperature in the room, turn off the tv or change to minimalist decor. Have fun with this part and write down as many ideas as you can think of, even the ones that seem a little out there. I can help you if you get stuck. Step four is to test something from the list. To start, pick one that is easy to implement and that you suspect will have the most effect. Don't forget to connect the behavior to something you're already doing. In this case, it might be scanning the floor after showering or before jumping in bed. Step 5 Track the results with something simple like smiley faces, X's on a grid, or a daily photo. Step 6 Pick a different strategy if this one didn't help at all, or continue the strategy if it solved your problem. Or tweak and add to this strategy if it got you closer to your goal. Repeat steps four through six until you get your desired outcome. Remember to give yourself grace while you go through this process and to reward yourself every time you achieve the targeted behavior or or move closer to it. Rewards can be as simple as giving yourself a pat on the back or savoring the result of your actions. Don't expect recognition from others. In our current example, chances are that to the significant other, keeping clothes off the floor is basic consideration and something a child can manage. But those of us with ADHD know you deserve credit for your efforts. Your time is valuable, so I hope you found something useful here. If so, please like follow subscribe and come back next week for a new episode of Thoroughly adhd. Thank you.