*PATREON PREVIEW* Meet My Boy Johnny Cornball

Summary

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Podcast Summary: PATREON PREVIEW Meet My Boy Johnny Cornball

Podcast: Throwing Fits
Episode Date: March 27, 2026
Hosts: Lawrence Lossman & James Harris

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Overview

In this Patreon preview episode, James Harris and Lawrence Lossman—aka the Throwing Fits dirtbags—jump into an off-the-cuff, hilarious, and deeply personal conversation. The episode centers on their ongoing hair journeys, elusive grooming products, and the agony of finding your signature style discontinued. As always, the banter is heavy, layered with inside jokes, and peppered with their signature irreverence. The hosts also touch on topics like March Madness, weird idioms, and a surprisingly earnest discussion of environmental docuseries and their effects on male fertility.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fit Check and Current Vibes

• [00:59–01:55] Lawrence gives a detailed fit check:
  • Footwear: Margiela GATs ("Sneakers are back. Okay. That's all you need to know." – Lawrence, 01:03)
  • Clothing: Shiro socks, Emporio Armani jeans, Maximum Henry belt, bare knuckles thermal, vintage Armani shirt ("It's 2009 on this side folks." – Lawrence, 01:55), Austria trucker hat, Somebuddies shades, Supreme Hanes underwear.
• [01:41–01:55] Discussion on chambray and what counts as chambray fabric.
  • "When you see the washed out red denim shirt, what do you think of J. Crew Chambray 2.0? Nah, bro." – Lawrence, 01:47
• Vintage style and nostalgia permeate the fit check.

2. Hair & Lettuce Journeys

• [02:10–03:39] James asks about Lawrence’s hair (or “lettuce”) and the negotiation at home with his partner Jenna.
  • Quote: "Jenna got to a point where she's like, ‘we have to find a middle ground where, like, you don't—like, nobody wants me in a bald ass fade with my tiny ass head.’" – Lawrence, 02:38
  • The boys joke about haircuts as high-stakes diplomacy.
• [03:44–03:55] James gears up for his own haircut, and the two riff on idioms about preparedness.
  • Quote: “If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.” – Lawrence, 04:21

3. The Hair Product Crisis

• [04:35–08:27] James shares his lament over the discontinued Sasha Juan hair paste:
  • "Maybe I was like the last customer buying Sasha Juan hair paste." – James, 04:41
  • His attempt to replace the product is a saga involving advice from a Japanese hair/makeup team, failed substitutes, and turning to ChatGPT for alternative recommendations:
    • "So I asked ChatGPT, what is the most similar product to Sasha Juan hair paste?" – James, 07:39
  • Lawrence recommends Maen’s Sage Styling Cream, which leads to playful insults and Italian-American stereotypes.
  • Quote: "You look like a greasy dego, bro... you slick back like you sleaze it out." – James, 06:46

4. Scents & Sensitivities

• [08:47–09:11] The topic shifts to fragrance and Lawrence’s awareness of James’s scent aversion:
  • "Now when you walk in the room, it doesn't smell like Lawrence. I'm sure when your wife nuzzles into your neck, she gets a whiff of Larry. That's all that matters." – James, 09:02
• Brief reflections on discontinued personal items and the agony of having a go-to product vanish.

5. Plastic, Environment, and Documentaries

• [09:18–10:38] James transitions to a Netflix doc recommendation about the link between plastics and fertility issues:
  • "It's called the Plastic Detox. They find six couples that are having fertility issues... [it's about] the correlation between the rise of petrochemicals in our environment and...lowering the general lower sperm count of like the male population." – James, 09:58-10:38

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “My man was tossing salad.” – James, about Lawrence’s “lettuce” (hair), 02:24
• “If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.” – Lawrence, 04:21
• “I Kung Fu Panda on the nuts.” – James, referencing Jack Black, 04:58
• "You look like a greasy dego, bro, with your hair out... you slick back like you sleaze it out." – James, 06:46
• "So I asked ChatGPT, what is the most similar product to Sasha Juan hair paste?" – James, 07:39
• “Now when you walk in the room, it doesn't smell like Lawrence... That’s all that matters.” – James, 09:02
• "It's called the Plastic Detox... [about] the correlation between the rise of petrochemicals in our environment and...lowering the general lower sperm count..." – James, 09:58

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Notable Timestamps for Segments

• [00:59] Fit Check segment begins
• [02:10] “Lettuce journey” (hair struggles and relationship diplomacy)
• [04:35] Hair product crisis and deep cut grooming talk
• [06:33] Lawrence recommends alternative styling products
• [07:39] James turns to ChatGPT for hair product advice
• [08:47] Scents, fragrances, and personal product woes
• [09:18] Brief turn to documentaries and environmental health

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Tone & Style

True to Throwing Fits form, the banter is self-deprecating yet earnest, and the chemistry between the hosts shines through. The conversation weaves expert-level grooming and style nerd-dom with meandering, often absurd tangents—mixing laughs with vulnerable admissions about self-image and aging. The host dynamic is playful, often roasting each other but with underlying mutual respect and camaraderie. This summary should make you eager to listen to the full unlocked episode.

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Transcript

[Podcast Host]

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[James Harris]

Throw gang We're joined by the Chambray shaman, Lawrence Lossman and myself, the madman of the mules, James Harris. Welcome to the weekly running of the

[Lawrence Lossman]

Boys with today's full episode Only available on www.ThrowingFits.com.

[James Harris]

before we get into March Madness, bullies rest and piss to a lot of assholes and wedding anniversary plans. Larry section let's get into a fit check.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Warren I am wearing blacked out Margiela gats on my feet scenes are back. We'll talk about it at a later date. I need to. I need to formulate the whole thesis but the. It's a yes or no but foundationally. Sneakers are back. Okay. That's all you need to know. The socks are Shiro. The jeans are Emporio Armani. Our legacy workshop. The belt is Maximum Henry. I always forget to shot on my belts, but that's max on the waist today. The thermal, I'm definitely overdressed, I feel like. But yeah, I mean no jacket. But anyway, the thermal, which I did not need, is bare knuckles. The shirt which you said was chambray, I don't think not.

[James Harris]

What is it?

[Lawrence Lossman]

Well, it's just cotton.

[James Harris]

Okay.

[Lawrence Lossman]

But like it's. I mean, yeah, that's what. When you see the red. When you see the washed out red denim shirt, what do you think of J. Crew Chambray20 Nah, bro.

[James Harris]

I think of my boy Larry wearing some vintage armani jeans.

[Lawrence Lossman]

It's 2009 on this side folks. But yeah, the. The shirt is vintage Armani jeans. The trucker hat is Austria, the shades are some buddies and the underwear are supreme Hanes James, what did you wear today?

[James Harris]

How's your lettuce? How's your lettuce journey going?

[Lawrence Lossman]

Well, I've been getting it, trying to

[James Harris]

flip it out with the trucker hat. Allah. You know Benson Boone or Somber or Wes Wilson.

[Lawrence Lossman]

So thank you for asking, because I was really passionate about my Lety. I had some good cabbage flowing. This is a couple months ago, and Jenna just really didn't like it, despite how much I was really into it and how, like, because I wear hats most of the time, I just really liked how it looked. And Rob McMillan at Mildred was egging me on for sure. Not egging on is probably wrong. He said it looked good as well. But Jenna got to a point where she's like, we have to find a. Find a middle ground where, like, you don't. Like, nobody wants me in a bald ass fade with my tiny ass head.

[James Harris]

Look like Brett Gellman over here.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Yeah. Yo, when's he gonna die?

[James Harris]

Hopefully soon.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Brett Gelman death watch. Not soon enough. Fucking yeah. Shout out to Zaddy, bro. Fucking can't wait for you to. To get fucking memorialized on the show. Anyway, so this is kind of. I'm due for a haircut, but I've settled. Me and Rob have settled with Jenna.

[James Harris]

Okay.

[Lawrence Lossman]

On a middle ground. What do you, like, get to sit

[James Harris]

at the negotiating table. She hands over, like, writes down a length, pass it over.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Basically. That's exactly how it went.

[James Harris]

Damn. Lettuce, cabbage. My man was tossing salad.

[Lawrence Lossman]

I know. If. And it was. Dude, it was feeling really good.

[James Harris]

Sorry.

[Lawrence Lossman]

I could, like. Yeah, I mean, I appreciate you asking because it's something that. Yeah, I still think about.

[James Harris]

Got to do something with that fucking mop top, you know?

[Lawrence Lossman]

Yeah, true. But anyway, due for a haircut soon.

[James Harris]

And after this.

[Lawrence Lossman]

What's up?

[James Harris]

I'm going to Mildred after this.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Very, very nice. Yeah, I need to do one.

[James Harris]

I'm trying to think.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Like, normally I'm like, oh, we have a photo shoot or the travel. But, like, this is. I just need a cut for nothing.

[James Harris]

Besides the fact. Anyway, put 20 bucks in my wallet just. Just to ensure that I was tip ready.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Hell yeah, dude. You know, if you. If you. What is it? If you stay. I was trying to remember this the other day. What is it was saying, if you stay ready, you're always ready. What is the saying? I don't know about staying ready. No, but it's like a good one that is applicable. Whatever.

[James Harris]

Fail to plan, plan to fill that.

[Lawrence Lossman]

No, no, that's also going state.

[James Harris]

Look at the adages.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Stay ready. Idiom.

[James Harris]

Idioms.

[Lawrence Lossman]

What's an adage versus an idiom?

[James Harris]

I don't know. Look that up too.

[Lawrence Lossman]

If you. It's actually really simple. Apparently, it's. If you stay ready, you Won't have to get ready. It's terrible.

[James Harris]

Damn. Is it? Oh, did Chuck Norris say that?

[Lawrence Lossman]

Yeah, after he killed 10 bears.

[James Harris]

Sick.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Yeah.

[James Harris]

Um, no. I'm actually in a bit of a hair crisis myself. They stopped making my hair product of choice.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Why?

[James Harris]

I don't know. Maybe I was like the last customer buying Sasha Huan hair paste. They make the hair wax, but that shit is ass.

[Lawrence Lossman]

I thought you were doing, like, Jack Black or what's that brand?

[James Harris]

Huh?

[Lawrence Lossman]

There's not related to that.

[James Harris]

No, that was my. That was my ball. My hot ball dust.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Jack Black, right? Yeah.

[James Harris]

I Kung Pao. I Kung Fu Panda on the nuts.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Yo, my man had some kung pound chicken down below.

[James Harris]

I had Jumanji on the. On the hoggy.

[Lawrence Lossman]

About the Sasha Juan and what. What. What's the difference between the. It's wax, but you don't want wax. You want a cream.

[James Harris]

It was a. It was a paste, right? Sasha Juan. It was Swedish. It sounded Puerto Rican, but it's Swedish. I just. The only reason why I've been using it for, like, years and years and years, because the first, like, I think, like, quote unquote fashion show that I helped produce as I think was Shades of Gray by Micah Cohen, styled by Jason Ryder. Oh, wow. The hair and makeup team, they're all Japanese, like, hot, cool Japanese people backstage, and they're doing hair makeup and they're using Sasha Juan. So I was like, oh, I'll have what they're having. Totally cut to smash cut to 15 years later. I'm in a crisis now.

[Lawrence Lossman]

You. And you never stockpiled it.

[James Harris]

I did, but I didn't. I would buy like six at a time. I didn't know that they were gonna go out, you know, lose it. Actually, I think I have an emergency tin here. Hold on. Monologue.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Yeah, that's. That's crazy, dude. You might have been the only guy using it. Wow. Yo, look at that, ladies and gentlemen. Yo.

[James Harris]

Yes.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Cuz, you know, stay. You know what they say. If you stay ready, you don't have to get ready.

[James Harris]

Paste up. You won't waste. Stay paced up from the white stuff.

[Lawrence Lossman]

So are you. Can you use this sparingly at least? Like, I don't know how much of a. A big glopper you are, but yeah,

[James Harris]

you only use like, a dime size.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Let me smell. No.

[James Harris]

Oh, you can smell it.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Yeah.

[James Harris]

Nah, this is mine.

[Lawrence Lossman]

This is. So this is called p. This doesn't smell that good.

[James Harris]

It doesn't. It smells.

[Lawrence Lossman]

You know, it. It grows on you. This. To me, it Looks like a. It's a cream.

[James Harris]

A paste, bro.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Could I rec paste? I know. Could I recommend. I don't know how much hold you want, but Rob McMillan, my barber of Mildred recommended to me maen and get sage styling cream many moons ago, and that has never failed me.

[James Harris]

You look like a greasy dego, bro, with your hair out. You know, take your. Take your chapel off you. You slick back like you sleeze it out.

[Lawrence Lossman]

It doesn't. I mean, right now it's not looking. I mean, I don't know.

[James Harris]

Yeah, I don't. I don't want to look like I'm wet.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Well, we have different. It doesn't look wet. Well, whatever, dude.

[James Harris]

No, I appreciate that. But what I'm.

[Lawrence Lossman]

The crisis I'm going through.

[James Harris]

The craze I'm going through is that like, I need a. A hair product that has like similar hold, finish, shine, matte, whatever the. I don't know. And so. So I got like, Sasha 1 hair wax. I was like, oh, maybe it's just. Maybe it's similar. Maybe they just change. It sucks.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Damn.

[James Harris]

Sucks. I even did like two pods with it in. I was so self conscious.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Oh, really?

[James Harris]

I didn't even. I blacked out. I don't even know know who the guests were.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Well, I'm happy to let you know. I don't think anybody else noticed, but if it bothers you, that's. That's all that. That's all that matters, you know?

[James Harris]

So I asked Chatgpt. I was like, what is this most similar product to which is Sasha Kwan hair paste. Paste Brickle Was that. It's a fucking. It's where all the streamers live in Miami.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Oh, yeah. I was like, why does this sound familiar? So it's. It's. So you're using Clavcom. That's what they want you to do?

[James Harris]

Y. I said, what?

[Lawrence Lossman]

Streamer paste?

[James Harris]

What is similar and has like no scent? Because you know how I feel about.

[Lawrence Lossman]

But that does smell.

[James Harris]

Yeah, but when you have 2.5 fluid ounces of it in your face, when you just take a little dab and you warm it up in your hands and put it all the way through your shit, it doesn't smell.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Is your hair wet when you're doing that? It's dry.

[James Harris]

It's a little damp. A little dampness, but mostly dry.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Yeah. Something they never prepare you for. It's like you have your product that you know and love 15 years, right? And then it just disappears one day and you're like, what do I do?

[James Harris]

Yeah. What happens if like, you know, your crisis, if your deodorant choice, you know, just. They just stop making it.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Yeah, that's, that's totally fair. I mean, I know, I know you hate scents, but people talk about like their favorite colognes and chip perfumes, you know, being discontinued or running out. And that's why the gray market for that shit is like so next level. But in terms of like product. Yeah. This is an interesting dilemma.

[James Harris]

Two things real quick. One, I notice you've calmed down in the sense. Thank you for that. Appreciate that.

[Lawrence Lossman]

I mean I'm. I'm still wearing my scent of choice, which is Horace Ode Rose. But I've toned it. Yeah. I mean, I'm not trying to fuck your shit up.

[James Harris]

No. Now when you walk in the room, it doesn't smell like Lawrence. I'm sure when your wife snuggles, nuzzles into your neck, she gets a whiff of Larry. That's great. That's amazing.

[Lawrence Lossman]

It's all that matters.

[James Harris]

That's who you do it for. What I was gonna say is ask

[Lawrence Lossman]

me why I smell and who I do it for.

[James Harris]

I watched a movie. Lawrence.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Wow. Shocking.

[James Harris]

I can see you getting horny and wet.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Please tell me more.

[James Harris]

Soaking your arm on yo.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Honestly, Herman Miller is saturated right now.

[James Harris]

It's a null.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Oh, really? Whatever.

[James Harris]

A null N, K. N, O, O. No, no.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Yeah, the Knoll is saturated. Shout out our friends at Noel.

[James Harris]

The K is silent. This is with this loud.

[Lawrence Lossman]

This is the best come up of all time. Well done, dude.

[James Harris]

Absolutely. These are four of them.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Honestly, the best part of the show ending will be getting two free N. I don't know what I'm going to do with them.

[James Harris]

Wow.

[Lawrence Lossman]

Yeah.

[James Harris]

Anyway, I watched a documentary on plastics.

[Lawrence Lossman]

It's on Netflix right now.

[James Harris]

It's on Netflix right now. It's called the Plastic Detox. It's. It's not like educational like talky talky, teachy teachy. The framework is they. They find six couples that are having fertility issues and they've tried everything, they've done everything. But for whatever reason, they're just not having able to conceive. A woman comes in that has done like mad studies for decades now and she's like a rock star. She rules. She's like, you know, this tall, but he's like a force of nature. And she's, she's studied the correlation between the rise of petrochemicals in our environment and like everything plastic and lowering the just general lower sperm count of like the male population.

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