The Youngmi Mayer Interview with Throwing Fits

Summary

Podcast Summary: Throwing Fits - The Youngmi Mayer Interview

Episode Information

• Title: The Youngmi Mayer Interview with Throwing Fits
• Host/Author: Throwing Fits
• Release Date: December 11, 2024
• Description: Two grown dirtbags just tryna navigate the male zeitgeist. If you have any money you want to give us or any constructive criticism you'd like us to 360 degree tomahawk slam dunk into the trash can please email us: [e-mail].

---

Introduction and Fit Check (01:00 - 10:05)

Hosts kick off the episode with an unconventional and intense introduction of Youngmi Mayer, a multifaceted personality known as a comedian, podcaster, content creator, and author. Youngmi expresses surprise at the unique introduction format, stating:

Youngmi Mayer [01:31]: "I'm good. I'm great. That was like the. That was a very intense intro. It's the first time that's happened to me."

The conversation transitions into a casual "fit check," where Youngmi details her tour wardrobe, showcasing a blend of personal style and practicality. She humorously discusses her limited wardrobe choices, emphasizing functionality over fashion:

Youngmi Mayer [03:21]: "I'm wearing that coat, so. And then the dress. And I have these shoes also, like, literally, my only pair of shoes."

Youngmi also shares anecdotes about her fashion preferences and the practicality behind her clothing choices, including her experiences with specific brands like Steve for Her.

---

Discussing Youngmi's Memoir (10:05 - 26:00)

Hosts delve into Youngmi's newly released memoir, Mommy Lord, forgive young me. Youngmi provides an overview of the book's themes, which intertwine her biracial identity with her personal experiences growing up in Korea and the United States. She explains the inspiration behind the memoir, relating it to a stand-up joke about her mother using humor to cope with discipline:

Youngmi Mayer [11:14]: "So the phrase that I based it on is from this very old stand-up joke... my mom would beat my ass and I would cry, she would start telling me jokes..."

The discussion highlights the duality of her experiences as a biracial individual, exploring cultural stereotypes and the complexities of identity. Youngmi emphasizes how her open approach to sharing personal traumas has been a consistent theme in both her podcast and her memoir.

---

Experiences with the Book Publishing Industry (26:00 - 36:00)

Youngmi shares her surprisingly positive experience with the book publishing process, contrasting it with the typically arduous journey many authors face. She attributes her success to her existing podcast following and a supportive editor who championed her work:

Youngmi Mayer [26:37]: "I lucked out that my editor was a fan of my podcast... she went to bat for me at her company."

She discusses the rapid acceptance of her book, noting that it took only a week to secure a publishing deal, which she realized was atypical after hearing about her friends' prolonged struggles. Youngmi attributes her efficient publishing experience to her engaging writing style and the relevance of her story at the time of submission.

---

Cultural Insights and Stereotypes (36:00 - 50:00)

The conversation shifts to Youngmi's perspectives on Korean and Asian cultures, particularly focusing on stereotypes and cultural exports like K-pop and skincare. She expresses mixed feelings about the global rise of Korean pop culture, praising its positive impacts while criticizing aspects she finds superficial:

Youngmi Mayer [46:24]: "I'm happy about it because I feel like it's great for Koreans overall... But I have to be really honest. I hate every Korean pop cultural export."

Youngmi elaborates on the distinction between K-pop and other cultural facets like Korean skincare, highlighting her appreciation for the accessibility and effectiveness of Korean skincare products while critiquing the perceived superficiality of K-pop music. She discusses the cultural nuances behind skin health perceptions and the broader implications of these societal standards.

---

Social Media and Personal Branding (50:00 - 65:00)

Youngmi discusses her approach to social media, emphasizing transparency and the challenges of maintaining personal boundaries. She shares strategies for handling negative comments and sustaining engagement without compromising her authenticity:

Youngmi Mayer [57:31]: "All these negative comments are basically, it's like somebody's projection. Of course, it has nothing to do with me."

She also touches upon the importance of BookTok—a TikTok community focused on books—in promoting her memoir, albeit admitting she is not actively engaging with it. Youngmi offers advice to aspiring authors and content creators about leveraging social media platforms to enhance visibility and engagement.

---

Dating, Relationships, and Parenting (65:00 - 80:00)

The hosts explore Youngmi's personal life, including her experiences with dating and motherhood. She candidly shares stories about her dating encounters, emphasizing her desire for honesty and authenticity in relationships. Youngmi also reflects on her parenting style, aiming to break generational cycles of trauma by adopting a more open and emotionally supportive approach with her son:

Youngmi Mayer [21:20]: "I think I'm probably too loose as a parent... I don't have a set dinner time. And I think children need structure and that's what parents are there for."

The discussion highlights the balance Youngmi strives for between being lenient and providing necessary structure for her child, acknowledging the complexities of parenting as a biracial single mother.

---

Comedy Career and Future Projects (80:00 - 90:00)

Youngmi talks about her evolution as a comedian, shifting from traditional stand-up to more interactive and audience-driven performances. She shares her reluctance to record her sets but expresses enthusiasm for her unique approach to comedy, which involves audience participation and improvisation:

Youngmi Mayer [55:23]: "I just sort of took that concept then. I do that on stage now."

Looking ahead, Youngmi mentions her interest in writing a second book, driven by her experiences and the positive reception of her first memoir. She teases potential topics, including restaurant drama and personal anecdotes that resonate with her audience.

---

Concluding Remarks and Final Thoughts (90:00 - End)

In the concluding segment, Youngmi Mayer offers constructive criticism to the Throwing Fits hosts, humorously advising them to cut down on podcast expenses. The hosts reciprocate with playful banter, wrapping up the interview on a light-hearted note.

Youngmi reiterates key platforms for her audience to follow her work, including her TikTok handle and promoting the availability of her audiobook version for those who prefer listening over reading.

---

Notable Quotes

• Youngmi Mayer [11:14]: "Do you know what happens when you laugh and cry at the same time? Hair grows out of your butthole."

• Youngmi Mayer [21:20]: "I think I'm probably too loose as a parent... I don't have a set dinner time. And I think children need structure and that's what parents are there for."

• Youngmi Mayer [26:37]: "I lucked out that my editor was a fan of my podcast... she went to bat for me at her company."

• Youngmi Mayer [36:18]: "I hate every Korean pop cultural export. Except all of these. The movies are fine. The movies are fine. The music."

• Youngmi Mayer [57:31]: "All these negative comments are basically, it's like somebody's projection. Of course, it has nothing to do with me."

---

Final Thoughts

This episode of Throwing Fits offers an insightful and candid conversation with Youngmi Mayer, providing listeners with an in-depth look into her multifaceted career, personal experiences, and cultural perspectives. Youngmi's openness about her challenges and successes serves as an inspiring narrative for those navigating similar paths. The blend of humor, honesty, and cultural critique makes for a rich and engaging listening experience.

---

Follow Youngmi Mayer:

• TikTok: @ymmayor / @youngmiMayor
• Book: Mommy Lord, forgive young me (Available in audiobook format)

For more episodes and content, visit Throwing Fits on Substack.

Transcript

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[Podcast Host 1]

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[Podcast Host 2]

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[Youngmi Mayer]

Deal.

[Podcast Host 2]

N's January 10 home club for details.

[Podcast Host 1]

Throw gang. We are joined by the biracial boss bitch, the princess of the pen. The memoir Mommy Lord, forgive young me, but it's time to go back to the old me statements. Bald but the butthole Harry always posting BTS except what you let the K pop. Young me a young ma. You call her Stephanie. She in the streets like sesame. She diaspora your ass, poor bruh. She swat the pesticide because her streams are unfiltered. The publisher little brown but the book making big green. No baloney but this Meyer needs an Oscar. How she got you wieners? Acting comedian, podcaster, content creator and author book. I'm laughing because I'm crying. Young me. Mayor Young me. How the hell are you?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I'm good. I'm great. That was like the. That was a very intense intro. It's the first time that's happened to me.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, you're normally introduced in a normal way.

[Podcast Host 1]

This is your first time on throwing fits?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, it's my first time here. I think I'm introduced resentfully, I would say.

[Podcast Host 1]

Really?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

That's normally where someone's like, well, here's young me.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Here's the filler. Guest of the roof.

[Podcast Host 1]

Even after you have this like smash memoir that is making waves across the Book world.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Maybe it'll change now. Maybe people will be like, oh, I'm usually the guest that like they call like the day before because somebody important canceled.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, you're just the warm body that fills the seat.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. So maybe, I don't know, maybe it'll change now.

[Podcast Host 1]

But are you getting more respect as you do the. As you like, do a full on book and comedy tour?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I don't know. Maybe I don't, I don't know how to process that. Right.

[Podcast Host 1]

Well, look, you just got a non resentful, very enthusiastic intro. Maybe that's how you measure it.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

And Roddy Dangerfield got no respect either. And he's a legend.

[Youngmi Mayer]

He never got no respect. No respect and never not my wife.

[Podcast Host 3]

We're so happy to have you.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Truly, I'm really happy to be here.

[Podcast Host 3]

We are not resentful whatsoever. The first thing we do want to do just real quick is a little fit check. What did you wear to do throwing fits today?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Okay, so I have this one dress that I've been wearing throughout my entire tour that I told you, every single picture on tour, every city, I'm wearing this dress. It's a Sandy Liang. Oh, shout out. Yeah. Neighborhood new mom. Yeah. She, you know, has her store in the neighborhood. She's from the neighborhood. She grew up in this neighborhood. Chinatown legend. It's a floral dress. I would say maybe it's like a baby doll.

[Podcast Host 3]

A little.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. Cutouts in the armpits and the stomach.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, so it doesn't stink then. Right. Because I would say how often do you wash it if you're wearing it on your tour stop?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I'm hand washing it in the hotel sinks. But then because there's holes in the armpit. Right.

[Podcast Host 3]

Ventilation.

[Podcast Host 1]

It's like performance. It's like a performance dress.

[Youngmi Mayer]

It's a performance dress. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

For female comedians.

[Podcast Host 1]

Do people comment like why the is only one Dr. And do you only. Only one dress?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I own maybe three outfits.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, but that like people have noted that my other friend was. We went to a sample sale and I bought something and it took me like three hours to buy one thing. And I was like, I just, I, I don't like buying clothes. I don't have space in my closet. I have three outfits. And she was like, I did notice.

[Podcast Host 1]

What else in your closet.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

I was saying, how small is it?

[Podcast Host 1]

What, what is in your closet if you're not into buying clothes?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I don't know, like just. I don't even know what's in there. It's Just like skeletons. Skeletons.

[Podcast Host 1]

Generational trauma.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Generational trauma.

[Podcast Host 3]

The good stuff.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Dead bodies. Yeah, the good stuff. I don't know what's in there, but nothing important.

[Podcast Host 1]

But why do you get rid of the pink tennis shirt? I feel like that's such your. Your brand.

[Youngmi Mayer]

That's my other outfit.

[Podcast Host 3]

It's one of the three.

[Youngmi Mayer]

One. I have three.

[Podcast Host 3]

So what's the third one? Now the.

[Youngmi Mayer]

The black tennis skirt.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And mesh shirts from Amazon that cost $10. I buy, like, I have like, maybe three of them.

[Podcast Host 1]

Right.

[Youngmi Mayer]

A. A pink tennis skirt, also from Amazon.

[Podcast Host 1]

Sporty and broke.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. And then this dress. And I'm not even joking. You can go look through my Instagram every single time I'm wearing, like, those three things.

[Podcast Host 1]

Did Sandy Gl Give this you?

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, but I.

[Podcast Host 1]

We're very pro free clothes. Okay.

[Youngmi Mayer]

But she. She gave me a huge, like, discount shout out.

[Podcast Host 3]

Sandy. That's very sweet of her.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah, Sandy.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Come on. The pod.

[Podcast Host 1]

Stop ducking us.

[Podcast Host 3]

A comedian of many words, but a few fits.

[Podcast Host 1]

That's totally. Wear the dress. What about. What about the coat that you came.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, the beautiful coat.

[Youngmi Mayer]

But coat has a. It's embarrassing. I got that on consignment and it's not embarrassing. I don't know why I said that. I only got it because it's a wool coat, and it was originally priced at eighteen hundred dollars. And it was on sale because, like, nobody wanted to buy it because it's a little funky. It was brand new. It's on sale for $150.

[Podcast Host 3]

Wow. Bargain basement.

[Youngmi Mayer]

So I was just like, okay, it's a wool coat, so I'm going to buy it. So that's why it's a black coat. The brand says it's March 11th, which I've never heard of. And then there's.

[Podcast Host 3]

What's gonna happen then?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Huh?

[Podcast Host 3]

What's gonna happen on March 11? Is it a warning?

[Youngmi Mayer]

No. I don't know, like, from this podcast.

[Podcast Host 3]

No, I think the brand. Is March 11th, like the date?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, like. Well, what's the date?

[Podcast Host 3]

I don't know. It could be a warning.

[Podcast Host 1]

3:11. Amber is the color of your.

[Youngmi Mayer]

You know, I don't know what March 11th is. 3.

[Podcast Host 1]

It's 3:11. The band.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, 3:11.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah. Or 3:1.

[Podcast Host 3]

1.

[Podcast Host 1]

Get called for info on the code.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. Who knows? We should look it up.

[Podcast Host 3]

Sorry, this is a terrible tangent that I started. My apologies. Let's move on.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah, please.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yes. I'm wearing that coat, so. And then the dress. And I have these shoes also, like, literally, my only Pair of shoes. They're from Carell. I think it's called C A R E L. It's like a French Steve.

[Podcast Host 1]

As in Steve.

[Youngmi Mayer]

It's Steve Carell's shoe company.

[Podcast Host 1]

We're comedian brands. Steve Carell for her.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, Steve. Steve. Do you. You don't know this, but, like, in Nordstrom Rack, they sell this underwear brand called Steve for her. Yeah, it's women's. And all my underwear is. Steve.

[Podcast Host 1]

Is it like sexy or like granny.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Panties and like, like industrial strength bras?

[Podcast Host 3]

What does a guy named Steve know about women's undergarments?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I don't know, but they're amazing. And you can buy like 10 panties for like $4. Steve.

[Podcast Host 1]

It's also available on Amazon and Walmart. It's Steven E. Oh, no, that's Steven. Stephen. Even is men's underwear.

[Youngmi Mayer]

This is a Steve. That's incredible. Wow.

[Podcast Host 1]

Industrial strength bras.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

That are all Madonna.

[Podcast Host 3]

Prince Steve.

[Podcast Host 1]

Are you wearing Steve right now? That's part of the fit Jack bra panties.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I think so probably. It's all my underwear, Steve.

[Podcast Host 3]

All right.

[Podcast Host 1]

Do you say that every time you pull out a pair of undies from the drawer?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Every time I see it.

[Podcast Host 3]

It's brand recognition.

[Podcast Host 1]

Steve, get ready. Get ready with me and Steve.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. And then it was really funny because the other day I like, bend over and one of my friends was like, oh, my God, Steve.

[Podcast Host 1]

I wear Steve. Never heard it. I think this is a first for throwing fits. Is Steve.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, Steve.

[Podcast Host 1]

Undies. What about the ear muffs and scarf? And. Okay, what are those pink things? Are those gloves?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yes, all of those are accessories. Accessories. They're called accessories. Have you heard of fashion? So the, the earmuffs are like fur, and then the, the scarf is like cashmere. And I think I. What I do is like, I look for really cheap versions of that online. Like, you know, because, like, that kind of stuff is expensive sort low to high.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Huh?

[Podcast Host 1]

You price sort low to high.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, yeah. So, like, if I look at look for cashmere, I get the cheapest. But that scarf I got for $25, 100% cashmere at that. At that vintage, like, thrift store on First Avenue and like 12th street or the huge one, it's like a famous one that's like, originates in Brooklyn, but I forgot what it's called.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yes.

[Youngmi Mayer]

So if you're listening, people know, but they have $25 cashmere scarves there.

[Podcast Host 1]

What about the earmuffs? Where do you get those?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Probably online, but they're probably like. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

And the pink Color Hot pink gloves.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Is literally like Amazon.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Like. Yeah, sorry.

[Podcast Host 1]

What about the tights?

[Podcast Host 3]

Don't apologize.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, the bag I got in Tokyo, it's like this vintage 2005 or 2002 Fendi.

[Podcast Host 3]

Fendi.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And I love it because it looks so fake, but it's real. It's like from that like Juicy Couture era.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And once I was like walking because, like, you know, like, I live in Chinatown and these people like got out of a car and they're like, oh my God, where'd you get your purse? And I was like, what? And they're like, on what? What? Corner of canal. And I was like, canal and Broadway. Like I was like trying to help them. Yeah. It does look very fake right in that.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh my God. Yeah, it's like shiny too. I didn't even notice.

[Podcast Host 1]

It looks like a bit of a fashion school project.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. Yeah. But it's just 2005. That was the look back then.

[Podcast Host 3]

That was a year.

[Podcast Host 1]

What a time.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

What about. What are you sipping on?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Celsius Lemon Lime. Because I needed some energy and.

[Podcast Host 1]

What's the vape?

[Youngmi Mayer]

What are we vaping on next? Clear.

[Podcast Host 3]

No such. No flavor.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Because I think this is the only legal one now.

[Podcast Host 1]

What?

[Podcast Host 3]

No.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, because they, you, you can't have flavored ones.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, because of the children.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Because of the children.

[Podcast Host 1]

Have you seen the nicotine free vapes? That's ridiculous.

[Youngmi Mayer]

That one. That's a caffeine.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, it's like energy or whatever.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And I tried it and I felt like I was going to get a heart attack, like hitting it like all day.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, yeah, you were mainlining Celsius right into your aorta.

[Youngmi Mayer]

There we go.

[Podcast Host 3]

There it is.

[Podcast Host 1]

Oh, the fire go off the fire alarm in the, in the airplane.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, I was vaping in the airplane bathroom and it set off the fire alarm.

[Podcast Host 1]

Why don't you just do what other people do and just vape through like your shirt like that? I guess cuz you're wearing the dress and it has holes in the armpits.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, it would come out my arm.

[Podcast Host 1]

Lady, your armpits are smoking.

[Youngmi Mayer]

So I didn't know there's a smoke alarm in the bathroom that sets. That's set off by vapes.

[Podcast Host 1]

It's a federal crime.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Because I thought, I thought it was water vapor. I thought, I don't know smoke. But it set it off in case anyone was wondering. But then I, the flight attendant was like, were you smoking? And I was like, no. And then she just like left me alone. I was like, damn, she's gonna kick me out. Because before the airplane left.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, I was gonna say kick you out midair.

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, it was before it took off. I was like. I ran to the bathroom. She probably clocked it.

[Podcast Host 1]

She was like vapor. 12 o'clock.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, I mean, we weren't smoking.

[Podcast Host 1]

You were vaping.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, I was vaping.

[Podcast Host 3]

I've seen her travel before. She only has one outfit her. So fake. Like, let her vape, dude. She's got bigger problems.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Fake bag.

[Podcast Host 1]

She pulled the vape out of her, Steve. All right, fit check, drink check complete. Let's get into the meat and potato, the only podcast. Young me. You just dropped a book. I'm laughing because I'm crying. It's a memoir. What is it about?

[Youngmi Mayer]

So it's about, obviously, my life, because it's a memoir, but it's, like, based on this concept. Well, so the phrase that I based it on is from this very old stand up jokes. Probably, like one of my first stand up jokes back in, like, 2018 when I started. And the joke was based around the fact that when I was a kid and my mom would beat my ass and I would cry, she would start telling me jokes, I would laugh, and then if I cry, when I was, like, crying and laughing at the same time, she would say, do you know what happens when you laugh and cry at the same time? Hair grows out of your butthole. Which is. I always thought my science, Korean science. I always thought my mom was weird. I was like, medicine. Why did my mom, like, make up that weird phrase to, like, trauma? Because when I was a little kid, I was traumatized. Like, I thought hair was gonna grow out of my butthole like a ponytail.

[Podcast Host 1]

Right.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And then I was like, my mom is so weird. Why would she, like, say that? But then I started saying the joke on stage, and people in the audience were like, Korean. People were like, oh, no. Like, all our parents said that to us too. That's like, just a popular Korean.

[Podcast Host 3]

It's like an idiom in Korea.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. So. So then my standup joke was like, oh, how did the Koreans figure this out? Basically, it was a joke. And then at the end of the joke, I'm like, I'm just kidding. It's not the crying and laughing. It's because I'm half white. That's why my buttholes hairy. But so I was, like, thinking about that concept of this. Like, you know, I think Koreans, there's a stereotype that we're very, like, extreme people. It's like, we're like Angry or does anyone know this? Because I know, like, me now, that I'm like, no. Okay. I don't know.

[Podcast Host 1]

I didn't know about the anger.

[Podcast Host 3]

I didn't know about the butthole thing either, to be honest. Okay, that's a news to me.

[Youngmi Mayer]

So. So then I was like, basically, so the book. I was like, what if that was, like, the theme of the book. I took these, like, two ideas of these two extremes that have to exist at the same time. So the book is based on that premise. And it's like this old Korean cultural idea based on in Korea called Tokyo, which is Taoism. And it's like the yin yang, you know, it's like these two things have to exist at the same time. And so I was like, what if I, like. Like, use that in relation to my life? Because also I'm biracial, so it's like white and Korean. And so I like, split the book up into two parts, basically.

[Podcast Host 1]

Why would your mom. While beating your ass. First of all, what would you beat with? Yeah. Did you have a favorite?

[Youngmi Mayer]

All sorts of stuff. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

What's her go to?

[Youngmi Mayer]

She, like, she. This is like a classic, like, wooden spoon. One time she pulled over and just ripped some twigs off a tree, shot.

[Podcast Host 1]

Out of the car, came back into the garden.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I just have this memory of her, like, just, like, ripping stuff off the tree. Like, it's just.

[Podcast Host 1]

Just hitting you with a bird's nest. And then why would she start. Yeah, why would she start telling jokes while beating your ass and you're crying? Was it to make her feel better? That. Because you're crying?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I think it's like. Well, I think it's a common thing among people who beat their children where it's like, then they start crying too hard and you're like, gotta. Gotta stop it now. Now you're. This is too much now.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. And so far. Yeah. So they try to, like, make you.

[Podcast Host 3]

Stop by, alleviate their own guilt.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Was there anything in the book, like an anecdote or chapter that you, like, that made you the most nervous about putting out there?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I guess, like the. I guess, like, the stuff that's, like, later in my childhood, like, the trauma that I experienced from my parents because, you know, like, the stuff when I'm younger, my mom's, like, beating my ass. That's kind of funny. Like, it's like, you know.

[Podcast Host 1]

But it was a different time.

[Podcast Host 3]

You were a bad kid. What do you. What are you supposed to do?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I was bad, but that kind of stuff made me nervous. But Then also, I guess I saw it as a challenge because I think, you know, obviously this idea that, like, traumatic stuff is funny isn't like a Korean thing or my thing. That's like, most comedians have said that, like, the depressing up is what's really funny.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And I think a lot of comedians understand that, and they go dive into those parts of their lives to find the funny.

[Podcast Host 1]

Comedy's tragedy plus time.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

That's why 911 is funny now.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

Hilarious.

[Youngmi Mayer]

It was funny the day it happened. 9:12, JK. But so I think as a comedian, it's. It. It's not like, necessarily it's scary, but then it's also, like a fun chat. Like, that's, like, the thing I enjoy.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Trying to make this funny, you know.

[Podcast Host 1]

Did you decide at the outset you're like, I'm just gonna put it all out there, or did you kind of, like, as the process of writing because it's your first book.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

So I don't know, like, if you. If your process evolved, we're like, oh, actually, I should dig deeper. I should, you know, dive further into this. I should put it all out there as you slowly put words to paper.

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, I think I've always been this level of open because I had a podcast for a few years called Feeling Asian about, like, Asian mental health issues specifically. So all of the really hard stuff I actually talked about already on the.

[Podcast Host 3]

Podcast got out of your system.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, it's already out there. And so I. I think the level of, like, openness was already set for me. Like, in the. There was nothing even. That was like, there's nothing new in the book that I didn't talk about in the podcast.

[Podcast Host 3]

Because you are an open book.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Well, it's a different medium. Right. So it's like, you can, like, you can listen to a podcast. Different than reading a book.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yes.

[Podcast Host 1]

It's to the consumer and to the creator.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. It feels way more, like, intimate. I think a book feels intimate because it's like, you know, like, just writing, especially a memoir. Yeah. In nature is a little poetic, and it's so isolating and quiet. I think. So it feels different than a podcast, where it's just like me being like, ah, my mom beat my ass.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah. I'm a 1920s gangster. I don't know why I said it in that accent. Yeah. I started reading last night, and I was not able to put it down until we started coming. Had to podcast and also talk to our accountant about our terrible spending habits all day today. But in the book. I mean, in the book, you, you, you credit the confidence that you have to being raised in Asia and Korea and Saipan. Right. Which is outside. So you're raising outside of the American system where Asians are wired to be inferior to white people, which is facts, people. Is it possible though, for Asian people raised in America to not feel inherently inferior to whitey?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, I think so. I think there's like, definitely very large Asian communities here where they don't feel inferior. And also it's like case by case, you know, like, it's an individual thing. Like, your parents might just be really good at making sure you understand that that's not the case. But I think what ends up happening a lot of times is that not, not just Asian people, but like immigrant parents that are not white or even white. Immigrant parents come here and they feel like they feel like they have to struggle or they have this mentality that they are like, not. They're kind of like second class citizens. And I'm saying, like, even my friends have immigrant parents that are like white people, like Ukrainian. Right. Like, they have this feeling like, oh, I have to like, prove myself. And that just unfortunately gets like handed down to their kids. And so I think that's, that's more of the issue, not, not actually the race. It's like the immigrant parent sort of feeling. But I, but I have a lot of friends that are like Asian Americans that have been here, fifth, sixth generation. And so they don't even have that. They're just like Californians, you know what I mean?

[Podcast Host 1]

So it's like, is it further complicated with. By when you're biracial, where it's like, I'm not too white for the Asians and too Asian for the whites?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, I think it's a whole different, whole different thing. And I'm like, I feel like that's probably one of the realizations I had writing the book because I really went into that where I was like, this is a completely different thing than like an Asian American being biracial. And also it's interesting because when I was a kid, I grew up in Korea and I never felt inferior because I was Asian, but I felt inferior because I was half white because they would pick on me for that. So it was almost like that was what I was embarrassed about.

[Podcast Host 1]

What do you get? What do white people get picked on in Korea? Like, are white people considered smelly?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yes. It's so specific. And it's stuff that like, white people have never heard. But I, I made like a Tick tock about this. And it went kind of viral, I think, because I was like, oh, when I was a kid, this Korean kid was like, oh, like where like pagans didn't like or something. She said, why do white people always open their mouths when they show off?

[Podcast Host 3]

No, that's so specific.

[Youngmi Mayer]

It meant like. And then I like, I made this tick tock about this video about all these like white kids, like frat kids, dancing sorority girls. And they're like that when they're doing a cool move.

[Podcast Host 1]

That's like when you take a photo, someone's like, why does it look like I can just put a corner while.

[Podcast Host 3]

I am sitting my white down and listening right now? That's to just basically make myself look skinnier.

[Podcast Host 1]

But thank you.

[Podcast Host 3]

That's a different complex, by the way. It's body dysmorphia, but thank you.

[Youngmi Mayer]

But like this kid said that to me and I was just like, okay, clock, that's embarrassing. Never opened my mouth again. But then it's like stuff like that. Korean people will like take note of things like that that white people do just by like. Because even when I was growing up in the 80s and 90s, they didn't have a lot of experience with white. There was like nobody in Korea except Koreans Bas. So the little experience they had, they would just be like, why do they all do that? Why do they all do that? You know, and that, that became like the funny stereotypes.

[Podcast Host 1]

Like, okay, you know, why don't they wash their legs?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, yeah. Seriously though, they probably your response.

[Podcast Host 3]

I wash my legs because I learned about it on this podcast.

[Podcast Host 1]

The exception makes the rule. Well, the book does. It starts off especially in the beginning with like, you know, kind of like how past generations have made you who you are and have, you know, the traumas and, and terrible things that they face, like all resulted in your experience as you explore your own generational trauma. Do you look at your kid and you're like, oh, I've already him up so badly. Or is he like, do you. Or do you think you can break the cycle? Or is it something he just has to deal with?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I think, I think with having kids, I think a lot of people are scared of that. Like, I'm gonna my kid up in the way that I was up with my parents. But I think the thing is that because everybody's so aware of that, I, I probably, I can't speak for everyone, but I probably over corrected in this very specific way. And so him up in a way that's invisible to me. You Know, like whatever, like whatever way kind.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah, it's a time bomb.

[Podcast Host 3]

So you could sleep at night.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. But I'm sure, like, he will tell me as an adult, but like, I can't see it because if I could see it, then I wouldn't do it.

[Podcast Host 3]

You guess what it might be.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I feel like I am m probably too loose as a parent, which is. It sounds like I'm like trying to make myself positive. But I think a lot of kids need structure or they need you to like set stuff for them. And so me being too loose is like me not doing the job of a parent kind of, you know, like, I don't have like a set dinner time. And I think children need structure and that's what parents are there for. And so I could see him being like, hey, kind of suck that.

[Podcast Host 3]

Damn. He's gonna grow up and be so mature and set his own boundaries. Mom never did.

[Podcast Host 1]

I was hungry. Six.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Is there anything you look at and you're like, are you like jealous of your kid at all for the, the way that he's being raised in America versus how you were raised in Korea?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I think one thing that I'm very careful of because I think I didn't receive it as a kid is like when he has emotions, I like listen intently and give room for them. And so like, if he cries, I'll just like listen and be like, I fudged up. I'm sorry.

[Podcast Host 1]

Versus like, what, what happened when you were a kid?

[Youngmi Mayer]

My ass beat. Okay, if I was just like, mom, your ass.

[Podcast Host 1]

Your asshole got hairier.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Your butthole got here. Excuse me.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, I guess just sometimes I'm like, I will up and then I'll apologize and then he will like cry and then we'll bond. And I'm like, man, like that's all it took, you know, like, my parents could have done that. Like, I feel that kind of.

[Podcast Host 1]

We think you don't know yet. Yeah, he's gonna come in in 10 years, be like, mom, my man. Why'd you bond with me, bro? Yeah, so why'd you beat my ass?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Why didn't you beat me? Yeah, why didn't you beat my ass?

[Podcast Host 1]

I know he. So he appears in the book a bunch, right?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Not, not a lot I think of the end.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

But as a first time writer writing this book. What? And this is actually a question. Guest question from the mutual homie, Mary H.K. choi.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, okay.

[Podcast Host 1]

She's asks or wants me to ask as a first time writer what about the book publishing industry struck you as really weird?

[Youngmi Mayer]

You know, I, like, feel bad because I had a really positive experience. It's so bad. I. I, like, don't want to talk about it because it's so embarrassing. It's like an embarrassing of good luck, right? Yeah. Like, I had no weird, bad, bad experiences whatsoever.

[Podcast Host 1]

Is that you being Korean that you don't want to like.

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, I'm being very honest. I would say if somebody sucked or somebody, you know, because I love talking.

[Podcast Host 3]

Or someone tried to exploit you or whatever.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. But it was just lovely and it was just like, every step of the way. And that part is embarrassing because, like, my friends who are writers are like, oh. Like, they were like, oh, it's gonna take you years to get somebody to pay attention to you, and you're never gonna sell it. And don't worry. Doesn't mean it's bad and you'll get rejected. It was literally like I had found an agent. I was like, I wrote this, the proposal. Then we sent it in. Somebody wanted to buy it right away. It was like, it took like a week top. So I was like, okay, cool.

[Podcast Host 1]

Your writer friends present you, huh? Do your writer friends resent you for.

[Youngmi Mayer]

How easy I don't talk about it now. They're gonna know.

[Podcast Host 3]

Mary's gonna hear this. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

Good.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I felt bad. Good for you, I guess. I'm talented.

[Podcast Host 1]

Why should you feel bad, though?

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, I. I mean, I, like, I think I felt. I didn't realize that I felt bad or whatever, that it was weird that I went through this experience until I had. I think when I sold the book after three days or whatever, I had dinner with one of my friends who had a mutual friend of ours that was a writer, and she was talking about, oh, you know, like, she just never got a call back for a year from her agent, and she just gave up after three years. And I was just like, oh. And then my friend was like, yeah, like, that's like. I feel bad because I was talking to her about it and, you know, I know for you it took like 14 hours, 3 seconds. It's just getting shorter and shorter immediately. And when she said that, I was like, oh, I Like, now I'm realizing that this is abnormal.

[Podcast Host 1]

Right.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I didn't realize until then that that was abnormal.

[Podcast Host 3]

Is it because you're just so good?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I'm just so.

[Podcast Host 3]

What do you think?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Smarter than. I'm just kidding.

[Podcast Host 3]

What do you actually think is, like, the reasoning behind it? Was it your story was something that, like, people needed to hear at that time, you think or.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I think, in all honesty, what. Why I think it was such a quick process was that I lucked out that my editor was a fan of my podcast, that she had been listening for years. So. And she, like, went to bat for me at her company. And I think she was like. I think at that time she just got hired because they were looking for specifically, like, Asian stories.

[Podcast Host 1]

How does that make you feel?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Huh?

[Podcast Host 1]

How does that make you feel?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I don't. That's fine. I don't care.

[Podcast Host 3]

Right here. Asian story. Right here.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I got one like that.

[Podcast Host 3]

Got a couple.

[Youngmi Mayer]

But then also, I think partially it's like that she was really gunning for me.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And then also partially, I do think that just from the feedback that I've heard, my writing style is very like, adhd. Like compact and fast and easy to read. And I think because even when I first sent it to my agent, her assistant was the one that read it, and she was like, this is amazing. Like, because it's like, I can pay attention to it and it's like, not. It doesn't feel like death trying to read.

[Podcast Host 1]

You know, call your great grandfather a man with subby vibes was when I knew it was. I was in for a good ride.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. Like, I think I write, like, because I have, like, a short attention span. And I think my writing histories from stand up where it's like, I want things to be punchy all the time. Like, I don't have time. Like, so I think maybe that had.

[Podcast Host 3]

Something to do with just taking advantage of generational adhd.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah. What about besides the podcast, do you think that having a pretty solid social following helped as well? Like, oh, she's already got 500, 000 tick tock followers. Like, we gotta get big on Tick tock.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Book Talk 100.

[Podcast Host 1]

Really?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I think I always would give people advice, like, if you want to do anything with your career, like, if you want to be a writer, sell a book. Just. I know this sounds so ridiculous. Juice up your Tik Tok following. That's all you need. That's all people look at now. Literally. Not.

[Podcast Host 1]

Not ig, I think.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Well, publishing specifically. And also, I'll give one other advice for social media. Yes, ig, yes. They look at the. What. What's it called? Well, engagement.

[Podcast Host 3]

Engagement.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Not the. Not necessarily the numbers.

[Podcast Host 1]

Right.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Engagement.

[Podcast Host 3]

Are there people in the comments that will buy this?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yep.

[Podcast Host 1]

But Book Talk is such a thing that I'm sure the publishers are like, okay, we gotta get on. We gotta get on there. Yeah, but that turn out a number one.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. I don't. Yeah. Because Booktok, I, like, look this up. Did you know that the most sold book of last year, the Bible? No, like, the most sold, like, newish book only, like, sold a bajillion copies because it went viral on Booktok.

[Podcast Host 3]

They're very. Booktok is super powerful.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Is that so nuts?

[Podcast Host 1]

Are you explicitly trying to go crazy on Booktok?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I don't even know because I have no idea what Booktok is. And also, I try to, like, engage with it. It's all, like, weird Greek fantasy stuff, and I'm like, well, this isn't. I don't know. I don't know how to do it. I would. Right, yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Well, you've been on a book tour. Have you been on your rock star shit and you, like, trashing hotel rooms and fucking groupies? No. No. Would you have been if you had written a book like, 20 years ago?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I have. No, I have not. But I have had some nice dinners with friends.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And some nice bottles of wine. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

So you're keeping it responsible?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

You're not exploiting the publisher's expense account or anything?

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, I don't think they have that kind of money anymore. They gave me a little bit of money, but that's not bad. Okay.

[Podcast Host 3]

For the wine, right? For the wine to spend responsibly and to drink responsibly.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host 3]

But you're not, like, trying to go hard in the pain because, like, you never know if it could be your last book tour.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Do you want to write a second book?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, I would. I actually enjoy it. And I have, like, a bunch of ideas for other stuff.

[Podcast Host 1]

Would it be like, I guess if you write a memoir, you got to, like, wait till you, like, live some more to, like, write about it. Right.

[Podcast Host 3]

You should start abusing your own son.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Well, there's. Yeah. This is for my book.

[Podcast Host 1]

No, it's research.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Well, there's, like, all these other things that I didn't really touch on in the book that I was like, this could almost be its own book. Like, I mean, I know you haven't really read it, all of it yet, but there's like. I have a lot of, like, restaurant drama stuff that I think will be.

[Podcast Host 3]

We're gonna get into it.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. And I. These are, like, the more popular stories that I tell at, like, dinner parties, you know?

[Podcast Host 1]

Is that how you know something's good? Is, like, you tell a story dinner, and people are like, hang on to everywhere. Oh, I gotta put this in the book.

[Youngmi Mayer]

That's how I think. Yeah. I think a lot of stand up comedians do that and it's annoying. Like they test out.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, they do bits at the meal.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, I've heard this, that they'll try out bits. Parties and stuff.

[Podcast Host 1]

Terrible.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I don't try out bits. But I'll like take note. If I tell a story and people start laughing a lot, then I'll be like, oh, maybe I should like turn that into something.

[Podcast Host 3]

Is that a mental note or do you like have a, like a note in your phone?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Like a mental note? Like, yeah, but I would never write out a bit like, hold on one second.

[Podcast Host 3]

Like, oh my God. This crushed.

[Youngmi Mayer]

This is crushing. I have thought that.

[Podcast Host 1]

Send yourself a voice note.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

I want to talk about something funny. Hilarious actually. The assassination of the United Healthcare CEO. Where does Luigi Mangione, the assassin who killed him, rank on your list of all time white boys?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Pretty high. Just, you know, just for what he did. Good job. That's like, that's the job of a white boy, you know?

[Podcast Host 3]

Grazie.

[Youngmi Mayer]

You gotta take your, you gotta take your privilege and use it for something good, like, you know, taking down the system that you're benefiting very a lot from.

[Podcast Host 3]

You know, like, that's a responsible thing to do.

[Youngmi Mayer]

That's what you're supposed to do. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Put that burden on his broken back.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. That's sad.

[Podcast Host 1]

He couldn't have sex because of his back.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, that's.

[Youngmi Mayer]

That's sad.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yep.

[Podcast Host 1]

You don't think you could have found a woman that could have done all the work?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, there would have been many women that would have been more than happy to do all the work.

[Podcast Host 1]

You made the national news for being real horny for him before they even revealed his face.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I know.

[Podcast Host 1]

How'd you find out?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I think I made the news because I was so early because I was like thirsting when I saw nothing but the top.

[Podcast Host 1]

Just the eyebrows.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, just like not even the eyebrows. It was just like the hands you said. Right, his hands. And then the under eye bags.

[Podcast Host 1]

Honestly, he had some big dick unibrow.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Okay. So I have this theory that you can tell if a man has a big dick because there's like a weight right here. Just ever so slightly. Looks like muscles right under the eyes are connected to the balls and dick for some reason. And I, I can tell just by how heavy this part of the face is. And I saw that. That's the only part I could see. But I was honestly just kind of joking because I was like, obviously I Didn't know that he was gonna actually be hot. I was just like, oh, this I can see. Oh, I have a crush on this person who. I don't know what he looks like. But then he did turn out to be very hot.

[Podcast Host 1]

Right. But are you still. When. When the mystery was revealed, did that kind of puncture the balloon?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, 100%, actually. I feel like when I saw his full face, I was, like, ill. No.

[Podcast Host 3]

Idea of him was. That's what it was about, the idea of him and what he did.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, the action. See, when I could see just under his dick wing.

[Podcast Host 3]

Big dick, eye bags, and even, you know, the.

[Youngmi Mayer]

The first face reveal. He was so handsome in that picture. I was like, I don't know about this. I don't know about all this.

[Podcast Host 1]

So if a guy looks like a fudgeing bloodhound, which is like this, like, oh, hell y.

[Podcast Host 3]

That guy's a dog.

[Youngmi Mayer]

What's that? Was that guy the tiny violin guy with that actor that. He had the tiny violin line. He has. He looks like he's in that meme, like, hello, fellow kids.

[Podcast Host 1]

Oh, Steve Buscemi is a giant.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Those eyes. Yeah, yeah. That muscle is doing a lot.

[Podcast Host 3]

I love how you know Buscemi from two separate memes, apparently, as one of the most celebrated character actors of.

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, the tiny violin. The. The scene in the movie. I know that movie. I just forgot what it was called. Dogs.

[Podcast Host 1]

Reservoir Dogs. Who else on the list of goated white boys.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Huh? Wow. Putting me on the spot.

[Podcast Host 1]

You putting up there with Luigi.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Luigi is probably pretty high. I would say top five.

[Podcast Host 1]

But Italian. Italian, Americans, white.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah. Italians, white. Confirmed.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I don't know now.

[Podcast Host 3]

Italian X. Yeah, they earned.

[Podcast Host 1]

They earned their spot.

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, they earned their spot. Who is. Who is a great white guy? God, I don't know. I feel like I had a list somewhere, and I name some. Name some good ones, and I'll say yes or no.

[Podcast Host 1]

Well, we actually have a list of just the goats of 2024. Not that there's many white guys on here. Girth master is the first goat of 2020.

[Podcast Host 3]

Spoiler alert.

[Youngmi Mayer]

White girth master.

[Podcast Host 1]

Hunter Biden.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, Hunter Biden.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, I. I'm okay with Hunter Biden. I don't know.

[Podcast Host 3]

That kind of proves the. He had a nice dick. And he kind of had, you know, some that might have been from the drugs, but he had.

[Youngmi Mayer]

From the seeing up from the crack. I don't know.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, some under eye bags.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I mean, I have to say that it's pretty amazing that Luigi. I'm Like, I'm okay with Luigi because he said all that weird shit about Japan. Did you see that? He said.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Anti Asian racist shit.

[Podcast Host 1]

Well, he's. He's a weird white boy. Of course he.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Of course he's weird Asian.

[Podcast Host 3]

Why?

[Podcast Host 1]

But he was. He was the one white guy in the Asian friend group. You see that?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, he has big, bad energy, I have to say. There's chaotic.

[Podcast Host 1]

Are we suspicious of those guys? The one white guy in the Asian crew?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Well, here's the thing. I think Luigi really, like, shows what that guy is because he's chill, he's cool, seems amazing. But then he's. He has ideas about Japan, and then you're like, oh, man. Like, chaeyeon.

[Podcast Host 3]

He wants to ban pocket. What the hell, dude?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I'm like, oh, God, relax. Okay. Yeah, the soju, like, gets to his head and then ruins the vibe.

[Podcast Host 1]

What do white people in Korea act like? Because I think the war. Yeah, yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Well, it's like white people in Japan, I guess.

[Podcast Host 3]

Is it a one for one kind of comp, though, of horribleness?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Well, I think in Japan they're worse because, like, Japanese people worship them so much. And Koreans do, too, but not to the extent, because Koreans will, like, cut it off if you, like, take it too far. But Japanese people will be, like, fine, forever.

[Podcast Host 1]

That's.

[Youngmi Mayer]

That's racist. That's a stereotype. But I'm just saying, like, they, like, Asian culture is, like, really kind to white people, you know, white foreigners, I think East Asian culture, a lot of, like, Korean and Japanese people, so they get really, like, pompous, you know, and arrogant. There's a phrase for it in Japan. They call it, like, white people abroad syndrome.

[Podcast Host 3]

They get gassed up too much.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

They fly too close to the sun.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they get too. Because then they. They realize that they can get away with a lot with the white.

[Podcast Host 1]

Just the white people.

[Youngmi Mayer]

The white people.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And then they get like. They take advantage of that and act in ways that they wouldn't necessarily act in America.

[Podcast Host 1]

Sure, of course. If you ever want to dive down a fun little YouTube hole, just search white people getting knocked out at Thai bars. Or like, they get too, like, whatever privilege. They're like, oh, I'm the king. I'm the king of the highway. And they feel like they get whatever. And then they cross whatever imaginary line. They probably cross it a while ago. And then some Thai guy will just come up and roundhouse Muay Thai his ass.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

To bank into from Bangkok to Chiang Mai. It's pretty awesome.

[Youngmi Mayer]

It's pretty awesome. Yeah. It's like, it's like a phenomenon because it's like, oh, a lot of Asian cultures, you know, there is like, you know, it's like the combination of the culture being kind of polite and then white supremacy obviously. And then they're like, oh yeah, white guys, deadly combination. Yeah. And then they take it too far. They don't like, they don't like, reciprocate the respect.

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[Podcast Host 2]

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[Podcast Host 1]

There is a great moment where there was a streamer, an American streamer I think maybe. I think American. Do you see this was in Korea and he was just acting a fool and being an. Yeah, and like call and being like, yo, Korea. Like I can do whatever I want.

[Youngmi Mayer]

He got like punched.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah, punched by some, by some like young brolic Korean dude from the army that was like, yo, I'm protecting Korea's national pride.

[Youngmi Mayer]

So this. Okay, I don't know this much about that story but He's a famous YouTuber so the Koreans knew about him. The guy that got the streamer. Yeah, yeah. And he's not white. He's black.

[Podcast Host 1]

Black.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And then he went to Japan and he was doing this whole series where he's want to with Japanese people and they Were just like, stop. And then the second he came to Korea, they were just like, like, yeah. And so I think the guy that.

[Podcast Host 3]

Around and find out, I believe is what they say.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah, he got knocked out on camera on his own street.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Beat him up. But then the one Guy was another YouTuber. I think the Korean guy, I think he. He is another.

[Podcast Host 1]

Everyone's a YouTuber now.

[Podcast Host 3]

YouTuber on YouTuber crime.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Exactly. It's not even about race anymore, but it was very satisfying to watch. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay, good. Who are the worst white boys of all time?

[Youngmi Mayer]

The worst white boys of all time? George Washington.

[Podcast Host 3]

Henry Kissinger. Henry Kissinger.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Henry Kissinger.

[Podcast Host 3]

Dick Cheney.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Dick Cheney.

[Podcast Host 1]

Let her answer. White boy.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Dick Cheney. Yeah, those. Those are the word, I think. But you know, this is the thing about worst white boys of all time. Even the white people have decided they're like, ooh, Dick Cheney. Boo. You know, it's like we all, we all know who they are. Specifically to Asians. Worst white boy of all time.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah. Matthew Perry.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Stop.

[Podcast Host 1]

Not the friends actor. The guy that forced open the Japanese port in like 16, 17, 1800s or whatever.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, okay.

[Podcast Host 1]

That guy.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, that guy. Matthew Perry.

[Podcast Host 3]

Not the actor from France.

[Podcast Host 1]

The Last Samurai. Tom Cruise.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Historically or just this year. Yeah, I know. There's so many bad white guys.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Is Timothy. Is Timothy Charlemagne? Is he on your go, white boys?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I don't know anything about him except like, I don't know anything about his personality. And I'm kind of like. My theory is he doesn't have one.

[Podcast Host 3]

No, he's really.

[Podcast Host 1]

I think he actually is like a fun loving. Yeah, fun loving kook.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, okay. I don't know anything about him for some reason.

[Podcast Host 3]

He's like a drama kid, but also a jock. People found out this week because he loves sports, apparently.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Interesting.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

He's a New Yorker.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I don't get.

[Podcast Host 3]

He's a New Yorker.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Timothy Chalamet. Information. Somehow the Internet doesn't, I don't know, send it to me.

[Podcast Host 1]

Do you have white fans? And is that weird?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yes.

[Podcast Host 1]

Is it like, weird?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. No, it's not weird because I.

[Podcast Host 3]

They buy tickets.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. No, I don't think it's weird. Well, because I also like the jokes that I make. I feel like, you know, a lot of my white friends make the same jokes too. You know, like when I make like white people jokes, it's like it's not all white people. I'm talking about the specific kind of white people. You know, it's like how the Karen joke is like so popular among everybody. But. But it's like, specifies a white woman, right? And like, white people love those jokes. A little misogynistic, but, you know, like, we understand what it means. Like, that kind of person, that kind of white person. We all have experienced them and we all hate them. And so, you know what I mean? It's like, no one's like, oh, that's not me.

[Podcast Host 1]

I'm not the type of white person she's talking about.

[Youngmi Mayer]

But, like, yeah, I think most people get that. It's like, I'm talking about a very specific type of person. Even in that move. Didn't that, like, movie come out the other day, the other month, where they made fun of the white guy with Japanese wife that he, like, does this accent whenever he talks to her? He's like, we eat a lunch today. Pizza. Yeah, like that. That was a big.

[Podcast Host 3]

People were mad about that. But Paul Thomas Anderson, director was saying he was trying to keep it historically accurate because it takes place in whatever, the 70s or something.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Well, I mean, that's like a joke. I remember when he. People told me that was in the movie, and I was like, I've been making that joke for years, like, for like. I think I made tick tocks about that joke, like three years before that movie came out. Huh.

[Podcast Host 1]

Does pta.

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, I was kind of like, I'm just kidding. I mean, but he. He said he noticed because I think his dad's new wife is Japanese or something. That's what he. Oh, really? Or his. His wife's dad's new wife is Japanese. So he saw how he was talking to her, and I was like, yeah, I've been making tech talks about this for like, three years where it's like all of a sudden, you know, white people will put on a weird Asian accent when they're talking to Asian people. But it's like. But it's like, if I make. Yeah, it's not.

[Podcast Host 1]

Not true.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, but it's not every white guy. It's. I would hope not some white guys who are married to Asian. I have a friend that's a white guy married to an Asian wife, and every time he talks to her, he's like, give me. Give me beer. And I'm like, what are we. Why are you. Why are you talking? Then he'll.

[Podcast Host 3]

So he's a Pokemon.

[Youngmi Mayer]

He'll be like, bring me beer. Then you'll turn around and be like, so, how's your day? And I was like, why do you talk to your wife like that? Like, that's weird, because it's Like.

[Podcast Host 1]

Like a waifu.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, like a waifu. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

And then I'm like, bring him the beer. Does it work?

[Youngmi Mayer]

And then she doesn't even seem to notice. But, like, if I made fun of, like, that's the kind of jokes that I have, right? I'll make fun of that. And white people will see that and be like, oh, I know that kind of white person. They suck. That's funny. They're not like, oh, I'm offended because I'm white. Like, we underst. We all. Everyone understands that it's like, a specific.

[Podcast Host 1]

Kind of person, so they connect with you more on, like, your observ about, like, the weird. The weirdness and quirks of the whites that they're not versus just, like, your Korean identity and heritage.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Exactly. Well, I mean, also, I think, you know, even that joke that I was talking about earlier, the white people, like, open their mouths and they show off. It's like, I was just saying, oh, this Korean kid said that to me when I was younger. But then a bunch of white people were like, oh, my God, that's so funny. You know, like that. Like, because it's funny. It's, like, funny that a Korean kid would say, notice that? Yeah, right. It's not like, no one's actually offended that they.

[Podcast Host 1]

What do you say when people ask, and this is what we buy racials get all the time. What do you say when people ask, what are you?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Actually, I don't get that a lot. In America, people just assume that I'm Asian. They don't even think I'm mixed. They just think I'm, like, Korean. Do Asians say to you in Korea, they do, because they don't think I'm Korean.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, right.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Nobody thinks I'm what they are, but.

[Podcast Host 1]

Do you have a response?

[Podcast Host 3]

They've rejected you?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, they were just. Well, in Korea, I just say that I'm, like, half Korean, because usually what happens is I'll start talking to a Korean person. They're like, oh, your Korean's really good. Because they just assumed I was foreign. And then I'll be like, oh, I'm, like, half Korean. And they're like, oh, okay, I get it. Like that. And then in the States, like, nobody thinks I'm mixed. Like, a bunch of my friends, you know, I'll, like, be talking about my dad. And I'm like, well, because, you know, he's white. And they're like, what? So that's like, yeah, but I know a lot of, like, biracial people get the, like, what Are you. Do you get that?

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Okay, what's your answer?

[Podcast Host 1]

I just say half Japanese, half white.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Is that true? I'm scared.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I'm actually Mexican.

[Podcast Host 1]

Filipino. I get a lot of are you Filipino? And that's a compliment.

[Podcast Host 3]

Swag a pina.

[Podcast Host 1]

Swag out.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

What do you say when people ask, how are you?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I. I'm usually honest, which is probably too, too honest. Destroys the vibe every time I need a Celsius.

[Podcast Host 3]

How about, how are you?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I'm okay.

[Podcast Host 1]

That's not bad.

[Podcast Host 3]

See, let's go with that.

[Youngmi Mayer]

That's.

[Podcast Host 3]

Let's go with that moving forward.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. All right.

[Podcast Host 1]

What about like, okay, what about the. What about this relatively recent influx of Korean pop culture and aesthetics that are make. That's making huge inroads into American. With American youth and American pop culture? Like, do you. With that?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I'm happy about it because I feel like it's great for Koreans overall. Like, I'm really excited that whenever I go to like a smaller US City, there's a Korean restaurant there now that's like a luxe Korea, you know, like where they, they'll have like tasty Korean food and it's not just like some scary diner looking place. And that's like, that's great, you know, and it's amazing that they have all these Korean products at Trader Joe's now. Like, that's, it's. It's actually positively affected my life. But. But I have to be really honest. I hate every Korean pop cultural export.

[Podcast Host 3]

Whoa.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Except all of these. The movies are fine. The movies are fine. The music.

[Podcast Host 1]

Boo. Yeah. Really?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I, I'm like always afraid of saying how much I hate K pop. I think it's so vapid and empty. It sounds tinny. It just, it's just a sound thing. It just doesn't sound like real music. It's so overly produced that I, like, it's hard for me to enjoy it, you know, which is my. That's my only.

[Podcast Host 1]

Like, what about also like with skin care? I mean, because you have been. You're fairly critical of. You have thoughts on Korean culture and like the superficiality of it and how it's just like literally surface level, especially with like aesthetics and skin care. And now that. That is like the dominant force in. Or maybe not dominant force, but like definitely making huge steps, leaps and bounds in American culture. Like, is that. Are we going to be okay?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I'm okay with that. I feel like it's good. I know that there's like a weird pale skin obsession with Koreans. But I don't think that's somehow. That has not really infiltrated American culture to the extent that I've, like, well, they're.

[Podcast Host 3]

We're already pale, so it's like, how. How much paler can you get? You know?

[Youngmi Mayer]

But because, like, in Korea, like, a lot of the products are focused on bleach or, like, you know, not. Not bleaching, but, like, making yourself paler. But that has definitely not entered the American beauty market, which I think is because they're trying to sell to everybody, and also because it's so, like, loaded, so that that part of the Korean skincare has not really spread, luckily. And it's great to, like, be able to just get Korean skincare products everywhere. Again, like.

[Podcast Host 3]

Right.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And because they are so much better.

[Podcast Host 1]

But they're both rooted in the ability to, like, transcend class. Right. Where it's like, oh, I'm so pale because I don't work. I'm not outside. And then Americans are like, I'm tan because I can, like, afford to go sit in the sun and do nothing.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Those are, like, the, like, the roots of, like, the ancient idea of, like, why it's better to be pale in Asia. But I think. But I think now it's more like a subconscious thing where, like, Asians are not thinking that way. You know, like. Like, they just think it's. And also in Korea, there's a belief that healthier skin is, like, translucent. So they're. What they're talking about when they say, like, hi. Or like, white skin is like, the healthier your skin is, it gets almost like, you know, like, you've heard glass skin, it gets like jelly. Like, translucent. That's what they mean by, like, brightness, which is lost in translation a lot. And white people are just like. Oh, you mean, like, white? And they're like. No, like translucent. Like. Yeah, like that.

[Podcast Host 1]

Like a jellyfish.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, yeah, like a jellyfish. Like a wet jellyfish.

[Podcast Host 3]

Healthy jellyfish.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

When you go to Korea, do you do any skincare?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yes.

[Podcast Host 1]

What do you get done?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I get a lot of laser facials, which are very well. Okay. So the thing about class skincare in Korea is considered this thing that's just for everybody. It's not for. And then the socialized skincare. Yeah. The history of skincare in the west is it's only for rich people that can spend $10,000 and go to a spa in France. Right. And, like, that's the root of skincare in the west versus Korea, where it's like, everybody has to always do it. And so it's always been really affordable and everybody buys products all the time. So the industries are massive and they can afford to like, like charge you nothing for skin care. And so when I go to Korea, I get all these like procedures done, like lasers. Because it's so much cheaper, so cheap. Because everyone goes every week, right? So they don't have to charge you 300. They charge you like $20, you know, because every single person's in there doing it every single week. Everybody. Every single person. That's awesome.

[Podcast Host 1]

Should we go to Korean?

[Podcast Host 3]

I was gonna say, like, not to be like, you know, superficial, but like, I need to book my flight ASAP and get my.

[Youngmi Mayer]

You get so much stuff. You get a laser.

[Podcast Host 1]

If we were to. So we all. We almost came this close to going to Seoul for some work this fall. If we were to go there and let's say we had like a few days, what are we doing? What should we do?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, Skin care wise.

[Podcast Host 1]

No, no.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Everything.

[Podcast Host 3]

Shopping, skin care, eating, drinking.

[Podcast Host 1]

Gangnam style dance.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yes. Okay. So I mean, when I lived in Korea, the like when I moved, I was 20. So I know all the like super cheap places to get clothes, like on the street, like near the universities. And they're like probably not the fanciest places, but you can get like a. So much cool stuff because they're all like really interesting, like funky things and it's kind of just fun to see. If I were you, yeah. I would probably go to the skincare clinic and get all the procedures like the first day or so, so you can like recover while you're here.

[Podcast Host 1]

I want a jellyfish ass.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, get the whole menu.

[Podcast Host 1]

I need to remove all the hair from my butthole.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, exactly. They'll. They know all about that there. But I would say like the eating and drinking is like so nuts. It's so fun there. And it's just like.

[Podcast Host 1]

And it doesn't stop, right?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Never stops, never closes. Everything's always open.

[Podcast Host 3]

Country after my own heart. I love that.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

What do you think of Back to K Pop? What do you think of. Do you know about this group? It's an American group, but it's K pop style and I think it's by Mr. Bang or whatever. The Hive guys. Cat eye. Cat's eye.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I don't. I've never heard of it.

[Podcast Host 1]

So it is like the first foray. It is by the main guy that did like BTS new jeans.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

I think his name is Mr. Bang or CEO Bang or something like that.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Mr. CEO. Bank chairman Bang.

[Podcast Host 1]

Chairman I think his name is Chad and he did. He partnered up with Scooter Braun.

[Youngmi Mayer]

No.

[Podcast Host 1]

And they did like a kind of reality show style. The users vote or, you know, viewers vote, but like it's kind of rigged with this group where it's like a girl from Sweden, a girl from South African American. It's a girl group, but it's like K pop style. And then they all live together and they're posting content and they're on the Hybe Group.

[Youngmi Mayer]

It's a reality show.

[Podcast Host 1]

It's like a reality. It started as reality show but now like they actually are like touring and like selling and like doing big shows and doing popular. I don't think so. I think people are. I think they're starting to like, catch on a little bit. But it's such a manufactured, like, thing that is the norm in Korea. But this is the first time doing it in America. And it and every. It's like, you know, United. United Colors of Benetton.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Every girl's like every shade of the rainbow.

[Podcast Host 3]

Is the music in Korea?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I've never heard of it.

[Podcast Host 1]

No, the music in English.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Wait, what's the band called again?

[Podcast Host 1]

Cat Eye with a K or Cat's.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Eye with a K. I have not heard of it, which means it's probably not doing very well. If I've literally never. It's like Timothy Chalamet's personality. I've never heard anything about it.

[Podcast Host 1]

Well, okay, so we covered the book. We talked about your podcaster. What about with comedy? How come you don't post your stand up on social media? I feel like that's such a thing now. With meaning doing like crowd work.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I haven't done stand up in years.

[Podcast Host 1]

Oh, really?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Traditional stand up? I think. I mean, sometimes every once in a while I'll do like a little set, but I usually just do these weird, like, audience participation things and like, like crowd work and riffing and a lot of times it's like, doesn't really make sense.

[Podcast Host 3]

What about like, if you own a heckler.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

And you could go viral.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Also, I don't tape my sets. I. I just feel like they're just like.

[Podcast Host 1]

I was gonna say, I feel like all the comedy I see on Tick Tock is just crowd work because they don't want to like, give away their. Their set. It's like, well, if you enjoy this, come see me at the comedy club Rattlebur or whatever.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I guess I should start taping my sets maybe. I mean, they're just like, I don't enjoy Stand up. So I feel like.

[Podcast Host 3]

So do you consider yourself a comedian then? Or like, how do you define yourself professionally?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I don't know. I. I don't know what a description.

[Podcast Host 3]

About the show later.

[Youngmi Mayer]

So I would love to see comedian. But I like, what I do isn't stand up. It's a lot of, like, it's a lot of just like I. I get people from the audience to do weird games on stage, and that's squid games. Yeah, like a lot of. Yeah, it's like a game show and it's audio participation. And I started doing that probably 2021, and the shows got really popular with my former podcast host, Brian, and they got really, really popular. They would sell out like within a day. And then we did a bunch of them and then we stopped. But then afterward I was kind of like, that's. I had so much fun doing that and I enjoyed it so much more. So I just sort of took that. That concept then. I do that on stage now.

[Podcast Host 1]

Nice.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

Do you.

[Podcast Host 1]

Whether it's like, for the, for like your comedy work or for the book or just like your vlogging or just like posting your life, do you. Do you read the Hate maybe on Goodreads?

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, I don't really like you personally.

[Podcast Host 1]

Don't you personally, like, block it out?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay. Has there ever been a comment that stuck with you? Because we all remember the bad ones, you don't remember the good ones.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I mean, actually, recently, I don't think that there's been a lot of bad ones, but there was this one guy that kept commenting the same thing over and over, and he was like, your ex husband left you for a white woman. Oh, he just kept saying that, like, no wonder your ex husband left you for a white woman. And first of all, okay, I initiated the divorce. Okay.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, let's be cool.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. For a white man. I'm just kidding. For a white woman. No. Yeah, for. I left him for a white woman. And not that that matters, but. And then also his girlfriend is like. She's like weijian. Like me. And I was like, she's not.

[Podcast Host 3]

He's got jokes on that guy.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Then I was like, this is. Why did you, like, who is this guy?

[Podcast Host 3]

Who is this?

[Youngmi Mayer]

He keeps making fake more accounts and to really the same comment.

[Podcast Host 3]

He's obsessed with you.

[Youngmi Mayer]

He's obsessed with this idea that my ex husband, my Korean ex husband left me for a white woman.

[Podcast Host 3]

You should engage with him and try to get him. Him to assassinate another healthcare CEO.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I know, right? I'd Be like, you know what would really impress me?

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Elon Musk.

[Podcast Host 3]

This is a parody podcast.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I'm just kidding.

[Podcast Host 1]

You'd be as Jody Foster.

[Youngmi Mayer]

You shook his hand.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, violently.

[Youngmi Mayer]

But it doesn't bother. Oh, I think the one day it occurred to me that, like, all these, like, weird comments. Also, none of the mean comments ever get me in my actual insecurities, and I'm not sure why. So it's not that hard, you know? Like, people always say stuff like that to me that I doesn't bother me. Doesn't bother me that I'm divorced. Even if my ex left me for a white woman, would not really bother me. Also, it didn't happen, so why would it? But, like. But nobody has ever hit me in the actual places that hurt, which is so weird.

[Podcast Host 3]

What, do you like to lay those out for potential haters?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, like. Like, the only thing that I get is like, oh, you're a dumbass with pink hair. I'm like, why would that hurt my feet? I've dyed my hair.

[Podcast Host 1]

But I think Lawrence was asking the insecurities that people could.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, like, if you said, you know, if you said something like, you're not funny. And, like, no one's ever said, like, you're not funny because you're funny.

[Podcast Host 3]

They can't deny the truth.

[Youngmi Mayer]

They, like, wanted to hurt my feelings. They'd be like, you're not funny and, like, you try hard and you. Your writing is bad and your jokes are cliche. Like, that would hurt me because, like, that's what I pride myself on and you're stupid. Like, something like that. Right.

[Podcast Host 1]

Would it drive you to work harder and be funnier?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, like, yeah, like, no, it would hurt my feelings. Don't. Don't.

[Podcast Host 1]

Don't say that.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Those are the things that would really me up. Like if they said, if somebody says to a comedian, like, you're not funny and you're a try hard. Like, that is embarrassing, bro. That's cringe. Like, if someone said it was cringe.

[Podcast Host 3]

Well, better are watching.

[Youngmi Mayer]

No one said. And sometimes I look at my videos. I'm like, I'm cringe.

[Podcast Host 1]

But you have to be cringe to post online. Yeah, you're cringe, but you are free.

[Podcast Host 3]

Exactly.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

What about, like, the. The mom kind of content you do with your kid? Is that a thing that people, like, start, like, they judge how you are.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Like, as a mother, I get the single mom comment a lot. Which also doesn't hurt my feelings.

[Podcast Host 3]

As if that's some, like, negative thing.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Joke about like I'm at peace with this, you know, like, don't. It's. You're hitting me where. Where you think it would hurt. And it's not things that hurt me out landing, bro. Some 23 year old college dude is telling me that I'm a single mom and I'm like, I'm like old and.

[Podcast Host 3]

I'm like, at least I had sex, dude.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, he's like, oh, he like googled it. Like women. What hurts women's feelings. It's not me.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yes.

[Youngmi Mayer]

With that.

[Podcast Host 1]

Like that's step one to writing a manifesto.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, yeah. And then what? We will. But the. But yeah, I get those comments a lot. Like you're a single mom and no one wants to like you. I'm like, you wish. Yeah. I'm like, well tell all you're about.

[Podcast Host 3]

To be a single mother of four. I got it. Like that. Pump it out.

[Youngmi Mayer]

It's just like, it's just like. Yeah, like things, like generic things that people look up and assume that women are sensitive about. Which I'm like not sensitive about those things, you know.

[Podcast Host 1]

You think they're actually googling what or what hurts women's feelings?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Well, it's like those like, I think like I'm assuming like those Reddit threads, like young dudes, like the single moms are disgusting.

[Podcast Host 1]

And it's like they're on the kill Tony comments.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, like some, some old guy told them that and like, well, we only want 19 year old girls. And it's like that's like that's the brain of some other old man. Like that's not their cool uncle.

[Podcast Host 1]

That's generational loser trauma, honestly.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, I was like, you guys need.

[Podcast Host 3]

To break that dudes.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And also they're like, oh, nobody wants you. And it's just like I. That's not my experience.

[Podcast Host 1]

Scoreboard. Yeah, just like533,000 tick tock followers can't be wrong.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. And it's just, you know, and then it just like I think it occurred to me that all those like negative comments are basically, it's like somebody's projection. Of course it has nothing to do with me.

[Podcast Host 1]

So I'm just like, what about let's get positive. Has there been any positive comments or feedback that really felt special, particularly around the book?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I think going on tour was very positive and it was like very moving to see everybody because they had such a positive reaction to it. And I think, you know, especially going on tour to I think a lot of Asian people when we live in cities that have large Asian populations, we forget that a lot of people don't. And so they. A lot of times their big cultural interaction is through social media or entertainment or media. And so, like, Boston.

[Podcast Host 1]

What are you talking about?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, I haven't been to Boston yet.

[Podcast Host 1]

But, like, also, they have an Asian mayor or had an Asian mayor. Woman.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So progressive.

[Podcast Host 1]

What are the cities that suck to.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Be Asian in Portland, Oregon?

[Podcast Host 1]

Not Asians, though. No.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Well, there were. There were some, but then it's just weird there. It's definitely, like, a weird vibe.

[Podcast Host 1]

The Nike cult.

[Youngmi Mayer]

It's a. Yeah, it's like a fascist. It's like a liberal fascist. It's. They're either like KKK or, like.

[Podcast Host 1]

Right.

[Youngmi Mayer]

You know, it's not.

[Podcast Host 1]

Say your pronouns.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, like that. That vibe. And it's like. Okay.

[Podcast Host 3]

Militantly woke.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Militantly woke. Yeah. It's like. But like, I was hearing people, you know, being like, oh, this is great. I don't know that much about culture. A lot of Korean adoptees. I think that was really moving in Portland. Well, everywhere.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I think a lot of Korean adoptees are interested in my work.

[Podcast Host 1]

I was gonna say, I feel like when you're growing up, the only white people in Korea must have been like, white parents come over, adopt some kids. No babysitters.

[Youngmi Mayer]

They don't come over. They get them sad.

[Podcast Host 3]

Ship it first class.

[Youngmi Mayer]

They're too scared.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I don't want to go there. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the only white people were the military people. Yeah, yeah. It was horrible.

[Podcast Host 1]

But I mean, okay, on the social media front, like, you are very transparent on your social media about, like, all aspects of your life. Is there anything you've ever regretted posting?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I've been. I think I posted one thing that my son did once and I showed him because it got a lot of positive responses. And he was like, oh, I didn't want you to post that.

[Podcast Host 3]

That was just for us, Mom. Not.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

I was like, but it was your first PO in the toilet.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And it was just like something that he did in school, like a drawing. And I thought it was cute, and I felt really bad. And then I was like, oh, do you want me to delete it? He's like, no. And he said something really cute. He was like, viral. People like it. I was, leave it up. They like it.

[Podcast Host 3]

Wow.

[Podcast Host 1]

Does your kid have swag?

[Youngmi Mayer]

He. What does swag mean again?

[Podcast Host 1]

It's like, does he have drip?

[Youngmi Mayer]

He gets. His dad dresses him exclusively.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay. So his dad is kind of a fashion.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

It's a fashion. Yeah. I'm not like, Balencia guy. Yeah. So it's really funny because I will be like, oh, he's like, out of shorts. So I'll buy him like, 10 pack of elastic shorts from like, Amazon or something. And his dad will just like, take. As soon as he gets his house, we'll just take him off.

[Podcast Host 3]

Right.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And like, put it on other shorts words. And so I just.

[Podcast Host 3]

Not at my house.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, I just stopped like, never mind.

[Podcast Host 1]

He only wears that monster during my week with him.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

What about you also post a lot about dating and your sex life on socials. Has that ever come back to bite you in your ass? In the ass where, like, you're on a date and somebody's like, why do you like, like, am I gonna get posted about or something?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Weirdly, no. Weirdly, no one's brought it up, but I did feel like there was a. There was like a period where stuff got too dark. Right. I like, kind of shut it down a little bit because I was like, this is. I don't want people that are potentially people that I'm gonna date seeing this, you know, because it's like, a little too. This is like six months into a relationship conversation. Like, you shouldn't be able to see this on my Instagram. You know what I mean? Like, so I've been. I know it looks like I'm over sharing, but I've been holding back. I'm holding back a lot.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay, give her post in a way where. Because, like, like, you know, the. The. The general thinking is like, Instagram is the best dating app. Do you ever post to, like, war men in?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Do I? Maybe I. Maybe I, like, le. Drop some vague hints.

[Podcast Host 3]

Okay.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. And then I think when I was, like, dating a lot, I had this rule that I remember. I set this rule for myself, like, back when I was, like, really dating a lot. Like, around a lot and doing a lot of, like, dating content. Because I. There's like, a period where I tweeted about dating a lot. I had this role where I would only, like, tweet about it three months after it happened or something smart.

[Podcast Host 1]

So no one knows.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one could, like, trace it back to people.

[Podcast Host 1]

So they're like, Pepe, Charlie, Pepe, trying to connect the dots.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. And, like, if I, like, thought of a funny thing, I would put in my drafts and, like, wait three months.

[Podcast Host 3]

Set an alarm on your phone, a reminder, schedule the tweet.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Because also, I also think that it would feel weird for somebody to something will happen, and then the next day they see it.

[Podcast Host 3]

It's like an invasion of privacy. Right? I mean, like.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

Straight up. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Give it three months again. Comedy equals tragedy plus time.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host 3]

There it is. And that time is three months on the dot.

[Podcast Host 1]

What. What do you think has grosser men? The book publishing world or the food and restaurant world?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Grosser men.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, fucking publishing. Oh, like, by a mile. Really disgusting. They're disgusting.

[Podcast Host 1]

Like, we're talking about their actions or, like, their looks.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And they're fucking creeps. Okay, this is my. Not that. I mean, I have a lot of friends in the arts, obviously, but, like, the creepiest men, artists, art adjacent, publishing, literary. Is it.

[Podcast Host 1]

Because these are all losers that didn't get any high school. Now they're like, oh, I have some clout. Let me.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. Especially in New York City. Okay.

[Podcast Host 3]

So they're trying to make up for lost time.

[Podcast Host 1]

Art and artists, then it's books and publishing and that.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Anything adjacent to that, like magazine editor. Barf. Barf. No, thank you. Chefs and cooks are amazing. They're all always the best. Yeah, they're not. Like, maybe they're like boys and they, like, forgot to text you because they're like. They all have adhd, but they're, like, genuine, you know, they're, like, pure of heart. Yeah. They're like blue collar. You know, like, blue collar guys are cool. Fashion is up in the yucky.

[Podcast Host 3]

Okay.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Fashion.

[Podcast Host 1]

They're on the yucky end of this.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Matrix musicians kind of in the weird space in the middle. Because they're, like, shitty. Shitty in both ways. Like, they're shitty like the artsy guys.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

But then they're shitty like the chefs, because they're those. I forgot. Like, I have the worst of the.

[Podcast Host 3]

Worst of both worlds.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Worst of both worlds. But then they can skew either way.

[Podcast Host 1]

Like finance bros.

[Youngmi Mayer]

They're totally fine.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Now I'm not going to date any of them. I'll sleep with them. But they're like, finance bros are like, this is my thing. I like honesty and authenticity. Like, that's my thing. And finance guys are just like. They're honest about how shitty they are.

[Podcast Host 3]

Right.

[Youngmi Mayer]

They will never. You know, they're bullshitting this day.

[Podcast Host 3]

If the bar is that low, they're.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Bullshitting to their main girlfriends. A blonde, like, 25 year old, like, yoga teacher.

[Podcast Host 1]

Right.

[Youngmi Mayer]

But not me. Like, we're here to party, bro.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah. Right.

[Podcast Host 3]

Madison is getting the lies.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. I'm not the one that they're lying to. I'm the.

[Podcast Host 1]

You Are the lie.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I'm the single mom that we once a month, you know, Like.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah, you are the lie.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Skater boys.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Kind of. I think they are also like musicians and they can go either way.

[Podcast Host 3]

Skateboarding is like jazz, you know?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. It's like, like they can either be really authentic and like if a guy has a.

[Podcast Host 1]

Doesn't have a bed frame, that doesn't bother you?

[Youngmi Mayer]

No. Okay.

[Podcast Host 1]

Skater boys.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

What about comedy guys? Oh.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Also. I don't know. I would say really up. No. I would say no. Really shitty.

[Podcast Host 1]

Really?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. But then it's like, is that. Am I get self conscious? Cuz I'm like, am I shitting the same exact way?

[Podcast Host 1]

Well, copy guys. It's all mommy issues. Right.

[Podcast Host 3]

You can't love until you love yourself.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And maybe I've never heard that. Is that a thing?

[Podcast Host 1]

I think what what I said or.

[Youngmi Mayer]

What he said, what you said?

[Podcast Host 1]

I think so. I don't know, I just kind of just made it.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Comedy guys have mommy issues. Is that a thing?

[Podcast Host 3]

I think a lot of guys do. So there's probably some overlap with any profession, you know?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, I don't. I destroyed. I've dated enough comedians to have a, like a solid, solid like idea.

[Podcast Host 1]

What is there like, what, what's the number one tip advice you give to young women who maybe they just moved to New York City and they are trying to start dating around here?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Like, I don't know. Because you know what I'm not looking for. I think the problem is I'm not looking for whatever young women are looking for. Like if you're looking to like have a serious boyfriend and get married and have kids, like, I don't know how that sounds. Like that sucks.

[Podcast Host 3]

Don't ask me.

[Podcast Host 1]

Don't do it.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Don't do it. Yeah, it's like just something I'm not. Yeah, yeah. Wait, I have a kid. Have the kid if you want to have a kid. Yeah, but like if you're looking for that, like heteronormative really? I don't even know why anybody would want that. So I'm like, I don't know how to get that.

[Podcast Host 3]

Right.

[Podcast Host 1]

Right.

[Podcast Host 3]

You're the wrong person to ask.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, I'm the wrong person to ask.

[Podcast Host 1]

Have you ever been?

[Youngmi Mayer]

People want that? I don't know. Do they really want that?

[Podcast Host 3]

Like in New York City or anywhere?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Anywhere. Like, I think it's going.

[Podcast Host 1]

I think it's going down. Yeah, there's just a, a luxury building that opened up in Brooklyn that's like only double income, no kids. Couples need apply.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I saw that. That's weird.

[Podcast Host 1]

And then it was like, because our amenities include DJ happy hours by the pool. And it's like, wait, are we the problem or.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yikes, we suck.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

We have a peloton room. Have you ever benefited from the general fetishization of Asian women?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yes, probably.

[Podcast Host 1]

Like, be like. Like, leverage it, you know?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. Like pro. There are probably times where I was vaping in an air airplane bathroom and I was like, what? Yeah, like, I was like, no. Yeah, like, probably in ways that I'm, like, not even aware of. Obviously I have. And I mean, I guess because it's like, you know, I always, like, have like a billion matches on dating apps. I don't know. All Jewish guys.

[Podcast Host 3]

A lot of Jewish guys.

[Youngmi Mayer]

A lot of Jewish guys.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah, A lot of. Everybody love their mommies.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yes. Is that a thing? I don't know. I'm just saying. Yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Going right here. But he's married. He's taken. Sorry.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, I'm living at the.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Was not interested.

[Podcast Host 3]

I have a. I have a peloton DJ margarita happy hour that we gotta wrap it up. I gotta get to my.

[Podcast Host 1]

Are you building?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Okay, Are you.

[Podcast Host 1]

Are you, like, done with dating and just, like, focusing on, like, work and family or. Or have you been on any. Like, we just want to know, have you been on any, like, terrible first dates recently?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I was on this weird date the other day. I basically, people always ask, like, oh. Like, I think one of my friends was like, are you poly? I was like, no, I'm just single. I just, like, date. Like, I just see people and I don't, like, think of having a relationship. It's not. I'm not discussing any boundaries with anybody.

[Podcast Host 3]

Right.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I went on this day and I like, I guess I should be more forthright and being like, I'm not dating to be in a relationship, but I wanted to stay with this dude and it was very. Like, we would text each other like, twice a month. Like, obviously neither of us were, like, in it. And he randomly sent me this, like, long paragraph, like, hey, I just want you to know I don't like, break your heart, but I'm. I'm like, seeing another person and we're, like, gonna, like, become monogamous. And I should tell you. And I was like, like, I was like, that's cool, bro. Thanks.

[Podcast Host 1]

Thumbs up react.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, yeah. Thanks for being honest. Thank you. Like, and then he was like, well, like. But if you want to, like, have a sit down. Convers. And I was like, hey. And so finally he, like, sent me, like. He was, like, crashing out. And so I was like. He sent me, like, five paragraphs.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, no.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And so finally I was like, hey, I'm sorry. Like, I should just be honest. Like, I.

[Podcast Host 3]

If you died, my life wouldn't change at all.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I was like. I don't know how to say. Like, like, I. You know, whatever. I was like. I was actually just looking to hook up. I was just looking to have sex. And then he sends me in, like, a hundred more paragraphs. And then he was like, well, like, maybe we can do that one last time. And then we would have. We would have to pull the plug on anything romantic. And I was like, that's creepy. I was like, wait, so.

[Podcast Host 3]

So you're in love, but you want one more?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. I was like, so you have a. Basically you're telling me you have a girlfriend now, but you want to, like, get it in one? And I was like, ew, damn. So then I literally was like, dude, that's. That's kind of gross.

[Podcast Host 3]

He played himself very hard.

[Podcast Host 1]

How are his. His eye bags?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Not. Not if they. If they were present.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah, maybe.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Like. Yeah, okay. Maybe one less.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, sure. Why not?

[Podcast Host 1]

One for the road. Is there anything a guy. Is there anything a guy will, like, wear to a date or show up in. That's like an instant turn off, a red flag.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, God. So many things.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, really?

[Youngmi Mayer]

So many things. Right. Like shoes, that hat. That's like a news cap hat. What's that called?

[Podcast Host 1]

Like, the Peaky Blinders? The newsboy cap.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, yeah, the newsboy cap. Once. I want. I think I want to read all about it.

[Podcast Host 3]

One of those.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I think I went on a day, like two weeks ago where he was wearing one, but he had taken it off before he, like. I sat down and then as I said good night and we, like, kiss. He was like, good night. And then he walked off, and then he put it on, and I was like, no.

[Podcast Host 3]

Goes kiss. He just flips it around.

[Podcast Host 1]

It's really.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Like, wiping my lips.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, no. Disgusting. Yeah, it's a. That's a. Not a bad one.

[Podcast Host 1]

That's a bad one. Was he. Where does he fall in the Matrix? Was he a finance guy?

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, he was a. I. I want to be vague. He was a. He was a good one. I'll say.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay. He was a good one.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Okay, except. But I'm never going to talk to him again.

[Podcast Host 1]

There's so few good ones. Well, being now out of the food world, is there anything about being in the food world that you really Miss.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I like the camaraderie between the working, working people, like, just. Because it does feel like a really shitty job. And I think anyone who's been in like that kind of like service industry job or like, you know, where it's like, like really up, but all of you go through it together and so you like, really bond with your co workers.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

And trauma bonding.

[Podcast Host 1]

Literally.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, literally. And it's like, it just feels. Feels like, I don't know. All my friends from the restaurant days are still my close friends and I feel like, you know, very bonded to them.

[Podcast Host 1]

Is there anything you're so happy you'll never have to deal with ever again?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Working? Well, I worked in restaurants right now.

[Podcast Host 1]

Oh, you do?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I. I serve tables. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay, so you're still in the food world.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah, very much in the trenches.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. But I don't do it enough where it's like bothering me.

[Podcast Host 1]

Okay, good.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I only do it.

[Podcast Host 1]

Is that on purpose? Like I need to like, only kind of dabble a little bit to like, like do what I got to do?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Well, it's not on purpose because it's like I do need more shifts, but like I can because I have my son. So it's like. But I think this is like the good amount.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah. What's the brokest you've ever been?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Constant. I feel like I dip into broke pockets all the time.

[Podcast Host 3]

But it's your cruising altitude is being broke.

[Youngmi Mayer]

It's just like, yeah, like I have a little money and then I like, don't know what to do with it and then I'm broke. Where's it go?

[Podcast Host 1]

What do you, what do you end up spending your harder money on?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I just feel like living in New York City. Right? Yeah. Just like when I'm like broke, I'm like, what? Oh, you know what? I went nuts on something and then I look at my bank account, I'm like, oh, I bought groceries. Ten dollar skirt on Amazon. Like, I don't know.

[Podcast Host 3]

I read it, I read it. But I think, yeah, you know.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

What's the richest you've ever been?

[Youngmi Mayer]

I think when I was married and then my ex husband was going, you know, like, he was like kind of blowing up a little bit as a chef. Like, we had a little bit of money for a little bit of time. And then also I think when I got the book deal initially I got that amount of money, but the richest I've been personally. And that felt really good just being like, oh, I'm an adult, you know, I made money yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

And then it all evaporated. Just living in New York.

[Podcast Host 3]

I'm broke again.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

How much money to make on me?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, my God. What? How much money do I make? Yeah. Do people answer this?

[Podcast Host 3]

No, but we do. But we do ask.

[Podcast Host 1]

We have to ask it now. It's just tradition at this point.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I'll say this, what should I say that's interesting? Because I feel like everyone's like, oh. I feel like there's like this Gen Z thing where people are like, you have to be like, open about how much money you make.

[Podcast Host 3]

Salary, transparency.

[Podcast Host 1]

Well, the one person who was transparent around it, he's like, I, I'm a black man who works in television on like production. And I want people to know so they can like, know their value because I know that I. He's like, I know that I'm making what I'm worth. And so I want people to know that this is what they should value themselves at. That's the one time that someone answered it. Everyone else is like, oh, not enough. Too much not. Or mainly not enough stuff.

[Youngmi Mayer]

I will say this. I make money to the point where I can buy food and pay rent. And that's like it.

[Podcast Host 1]

That's a lot.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, I mean that's like, you know, in, in these times. That's enough.

[Podcast Host 3]

Tell me hashtag blessed, you know, hashtag blessed.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

As a, as a Renaissance woman that does jobs across multiple industries, across multiple mediums, what's the worst job you've ever had in your life?

[Youngmi Mayer]

The worst job I've ever had in my life was probably. God, I don't know. I don't think it was. Oh, well, I mean, I've done sex work.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

Which is terrible.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, it was horrible. But it was very short lived. And I think the worst part about it was because I had to act like I was having fun. Like it's an actual.

[Podcast Host 1]

So you're acting, you're acting.

[Podcast Host 3]

It's like being a guest on a podcast.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. I was like, like, that was, that sucked. And that's like a big part of being a server. Like the actual work of being a restaurant server. Not that, obviously not that hard. I'm taking orders and carrying food around, but like pretending that you like the customer.

[Podcast Host 1]

Never heard that one. Never heard that joke.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah. Is it somebody's birthday? All work is sex work.

[Podcast Host 1]

Do you like food? No, I hated it. Here's my empty plate. Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

But then also now, like, I think the stand up thing, that's helped because now that I'm working in Restaurants again. I just realized that I don't have to be nice. Like, people actually like it when you're kind of a. In a funny way. Like, people love that.

[Podcast Host 1]

Like, they ever work at material while you're serving?

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, no.

[Podcast Host 1]

Like, kind of like, I don't know, like, should I. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

Who's this dumb fat Karen to say another entree?

[Podcast Host 1]

Get the. I guarantee you'll get the biggest head of the night.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Right. Should I? Certain.

[Podcast Host 1]

Oh, my God, she hates me. She hates me. I was acting like an let me over tip.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Right, right.

[Podcast Host 1]

Take it from two chauvinists.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah. Weaponize that wokeness like Portland dude. And just extort these.

[Podcast Host 1]

Leverage it.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. Every time. Like, kind of mean in a jokey way. They love that.

[Podcast Host 3]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 1]

I'm saying. Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

It's a universal language.

[Podcast Host 1]

People love saying. Yeah, write that one down. All right, well, as a fellow podcaster, as a fellow biracial person, as a fellow New Yorker, we'd love to know, do you have any constructive criticism you'd like to give us?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Well, we. I like, I. I don't know. Stop spending so much money on your podcast.

[Podcast Host 1]

Are we spending money on a podcast?

[Youngmi Mayer]

That's what you said. Your accountant said.

[Podcast Host 3]

Oh, wow. Good memory, actually.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Listen, when you talk, it wasn't even necessarily the.

[Podcast Host 3]

The podcast is just on everything.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Right, right, right.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Like, I recorded my bedroom. I have zero costs.

[Podcast Host 1]

Damn. Well, we had. You had guests. Right. Would they come to your bedroom?

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, they just zoom.

[Podcast Host 1]

We do in person. And then we were in my apartment for literally four years, and I was like, I'm tired of scrubbing people's skid marks off my toilet. And like, the crew members that they bring. So instead we're going to rent an office and they can take a. Over there.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Right.

[Podcast Host 3]

And we also like talking to people in person.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host 3]

You know, if. If you give us the option, we're going to take that every time over a zoom conversation.

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, it's obviously way better. I don't know. I don't have any criticism. Do you want criticism? I'll think of something.

[Podcast Host 1]

Constructive criticism.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Constructive criticism. Maybe if the. Maybe if. One time I went to a podcast recording and they gave me a giant glass, a giant lady, like literal, like Big Gulp size cup of ice and white wine. Probably like two bottles of white wine in there. That was really nice.

[Podcast Host 3]

Little.

[Podcast Host 1]

You're a little. You're a little loose with the tongue.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. Then I was like, maybe too lo. Maybe it was too much wine. Maybe just like a little one bottle wine. Yeah, one bottle Just one bottle.

[Podcast Host 3]

Get our guest face. And the content will be better.

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, they'll have more fun. But the content will probably be way worse.

[Podcast Host 3]

Okay, got it, got it.

[Youngmi Mayer]

But I would enjoy that.

[Podcast Host 1]

We used to. There used to be a looser alcohol policy with guests especially. And we're like we gotta tone it back because people are getting up and.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Like I would have taken.

[Podcast Host 3]

That was a me problem for sure. I was definitely.

[Podcast Host 1]

No, no, no. I'm talking about the guest and the host.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, I want to hear all about co host.

[Podcast Host 1]

The book is out now. I'm laughing. Where is it? I'm laughing because I'm crying out now. I can attest it is truly. Cannot put it down. Cannot wait to dive head head first even further into it. I think I'm two. I finished two chapters since last night. Limited time. You know, I was busy all day.

[Podcast Host 3]

I had to write the interview, you know.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yeah. But unfortunately it got sent to the office and I was like, I wish it got sent to my crib so I could have read it over the weekend. But the book is out now. Where can the kids follow you? Is there anything you would like to plug?

[Youngmi Mayer]

You can follow me on social media at YM Mayor and young me Mayor on Tick Tock. I guess I want to plug the book but I also have an audiobook and I always recommend that because I have ADHD and I, I don't read. I like listen to audiobooks and I actually read the audiobook so I'm like really happy with it. And also I feel like my writing is kind of like, you know, like I said, it's like very influenced by stand up. So it's like I wrote it kind of like to say out loud. So I think it reads really well if you're, you know, if you're struggling to read like, like I, I am.

[Podcast Host 1]

How non ableist of you.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, the audiobook is funny.

[Podcast Host 3]

How long did that take, that process?

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, they, I think it's like they, I think for all audio books, I'm assuming they just give you a week.

[Podcast Host 3]

And they just like get it done.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah, they rent out the. You have to go to the office and just like record for like eight hours a day.

[Podcast Host 1]

Did you like voices and or you just like kind of read it straight through?

[Youngmi Mayer]

They wanted me to do voices, but I'm not a big voice person. Like what are you writing? What are you laughing about?

[Podcast Host 3]

We're taking notes on your own show.

[Podcast Host 1]

Notes on how to promote this?

[Youngmi Mayer]

No, because he was like, he was laughing at your screen.

[Podcast Host 3]

I was not laughing at his screen. I was laughing at the fact that you said you don't do voices and you did voices the whole pod.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, was I?

[Podcast Host 3]

You were definitely doing some voices and they were funny.

[Podcast Host 1]

You did a Japanese accent.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Oh, right.

[Podcast Host 1]

Early on.

[Podcast Host 3]

I forgive now.

[Podcast Host 1]

Now we're even.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Maybe I choked during the reading because I got nervous, but I was like, I don't want to do this voice.

[Podcast Host 1]

It was fine.

[Youngmi Mayer]

Yeah. Now.

[Podcast Host 1]

All right, well, young me, thank you again for coming onto the only podcast that matters.

[Podcast Host 3]

Appreciate your time.

[Podcast Host 1]

Chef. Take us out AT T Mobile.

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[Podcast Host 1]

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[Youngmi Mayer]

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[Youngmi Mayer]

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[Podcast Host 1]

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[Youngmi Mayer]

Com.