Ali Siddiq and The John Wick of Comedy

Summary

TigerBelly – “Ali Siddiq and The John Wick of Comedy”

Host: Bobby Lee & Khalyla
Guest: Ali Siddiq
Release Date: July 1, 2026
Podcast Network: All Things Comedy

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Episode Overview

This episode of TigerBelly dives into the wild behind-the-scenes world of comedy, focusing on stories about ratting out friends, parking lot misadventures at the Comedy Store, and the relentless hustle of comic Ali Siddiq—dubbed “The John Wick of Comedy” for his independent grind and prolific output. The hosts (Bobby Lee, Khalyla, and friends) are joined by Ali Siddiq, who shares about his time in prison, the craft of comedy, the business of releasing comedy specials, and what drives him as a storyteller. The conversation swings from laugh-out-loud confessions to insightful commentary about the evolving landscape of stand-up distribution, especially the power of YouTube, all peppered with TigerBelly’s signature chaotic banter.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Parking Lot “Crime” and the Rat Hunt (00:53 – 20:00)

- The Comedy Store Lot Crash

• Bobby confesses to accidentally backing into another comic's car and driving away.
• The story unravels with allegations of “ratting” and an in-depth breakdown of who snitched and who stayed loyal among the staff and comics.
• Luke, a parking staffer, is grilled about revealing names, illustrating the mafia-like code of silence in comedy circles.

"I don't like rats. Right, right. So a couple of people ratted me out that I hit car." – Bobby Lee (07:56)

- The Tight Lot and Unavoidable Bumps

• The crew discusses how cramped and chaotic the Comedy Store parking lot is, making accidents inevitable.
• Bobby reveals he’s hit multiple cars over the years but rarely admitted it, highlighting both the shameless comedy world and LA life realities.

"It's the tightest parking lot imaginable. Have you been there? ... When there's a lot of comics on, you have to do a lot of maneuvering." – Bobby (11:24)

- Philosophy of No Pay, No Pain

• Bobby jokes about not paying for damages if the victim is relative “well off”, suggesting a hilarious sliding scale of accountability based on perceived income (72:44).

2. Ali Siddiq’s Prison Stories: Humor from Hardship (21:44 – 35:00)

- Siddiq’s Time in Prison

• Ali talks candidly about serving six years for a cocaine-related charge and shares how he coped inside.
• He recounts being a “pimp” in prison—loaning out photos of women to fellow inmates for snacks and supplies, and the economics and etiquette this involved.

"You get a picture of a girl sent to you from the world...and you just loan out for supes." – Ali Siddiq (27:38)

- How Bobby Would Survive Prison

• The group hilariously debates whether Bobby would make it in prison (“I think you would survive because they would think that you were nuts.” – Ali, 26:21).
• They riff on prison nicknames, prison toughness, and possible tattoos (lotus flowers are a no-go).

3. Craft and Competition: Houston Comedy Roots & Origin Stories (33:10 – 47:00)

- Bobby and Ali's First Meeting

• First encounter at the Houston Improv (2001), with Ali crushing so hard as an opener that Bobby suspected the club of sabotaging his headline set.
• Both reflect on Houston’s killer stand-up scene, name-dropping comics, evolving clubs, and the competitive dynamic that forges comedic talent.

“You, Ralphie May…they become hosts, but they want to show. I mean, this is what Texas is all about. You live or you drown...” – Bobby (40:21)

- How Show Lineups Shape Comics

• The practice of local headliners “stealing audiences” as openers is discussed; Bobby now prefers to bring weaker openers to avoid being upstaged.

4. The John Wick of Comedy: Ali Siddiq’s DIY Ethic (48:36 – 58:59)

- Prolific Special Output

• Ali reveals an incredible work ethic: shooting multiple unique hours per city, producing and releasing specials independently (often two or more at a time), and breaking traditional business models.

“I've been shooting for the last six years. I shoot two specials at a time... I'm working on four new specials now. All different hours, different things.” – Ali Siddiq (49:00)

- YouTube as a Platform

• Siddiq shares data: tens of millions of views per special, NAACP and Webby awards, and how his fan base is built almost entirely outside the traditional network ecosystem.
• The group discusses how legacy media limits comics, and how YouTube allows for wider, longer-lasting reach.

“Independently produced special ever win an award.” – Ali on YouTube success, referencing his NAACP Image Award (54:06)

- The Future of Specials

• Both hosts and guest agree YouTube distribution is the likely future for comedy specials.
• Siddiq runs a 24/7 live stream of his specials, keeping audiences constantly engaged.

5. Riffing on Movies, Suspension of Disbelief, and Realism (57:00 – 65:36)

- Movie Critiques and Realness

• Bobby skewers Spielberg’s “Disclosure Day” for its outdated ideas about how news spreads, paralleling the shift to new platforms like YouTube.
• Ali shares why he couldn’t enjoy “Get Out,” finding basic plot points unrealistic for a Black character.

“I was so mad at Get Out. Like, I didn't finish watching it because of the opening scene... There’s no bus stops over here!” – Ali (61:38)

6. Parenting, Trauma, and Breaking the Cycle (80:19 – 85:14)

- Intergenerational Lessons

• Ali opens up about his complex relationship with his father, which inspired the content and title of his latest special, “My Father.”
• He contrasts his hands-on, loving approach to parenting with the absenteeism of his own father, noting how this experience reshaped his role as a dad.

“I'm a great dad because of how absent my pops was. You know, I didn’t want them to feel that.” – Ali (81:15)

- Bobby’s Perspective

• Bobby admits his fear of repeating family trauma is partly why he’s never had kids.

7. Ticket Sales, Corpus Christi Woes, and Comic Ego (87:07 – 89:55)

- Touring Struggles

• Despite selling out theaters and arenas in most cities, Ali laments unusually low ticket sales in Corpus Christi—a blow to any comic’s self-esteem.
• Bobby relates with his own experiences of underselling massive venues, humorously suggesting “cancel it!”
• Both commiserate over how certain cities are just inexplicably tough nuts to crack, regardless of career success.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Ratting and Loyalty:
  "I don't like rats. Right, right..." — Bobby Lee ([07:56])

• On Prison Hustles:
  "You get a picture of a girl sent to you…you just loan out for supes." — Ali Siddiq ([27:38])

• On DIY Comedy Hustle:
  "I've been shooting for the last six years. I shoot two specials at a time. And then when I went to Dallas, two different hours." — Ali Siddiq ([49:00])

• On Special Lengths:
  “Part four is an hour and 56 minutes long.” — Bobby Lee ([54:17])
  “How long is yours?”
  “38 minutes.” — Bobby / C ([54:23])

• On Parenting and Trauma:
  "I'm a great dad because of how absent my pops was. You know, I didn't want them to feel that." — Ali Siddiq ([81:15])

• On Corpus Christi:
  "I struggle in Corpus...Corpus is fucking lowering my self-esteem..." — Ali Siddiq ([88:07])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:53 – 20:00: Comedy Store lot “hit-and-run” story, code of silence, and confessionals
• 21:44 – 35:00: Ali’s prison stories—hustles, hierarchy, surviving the system
• 33:10 – 47:00: Comedy competition, Houston roots, and meeting stories
• 48:36 – 58:59: Ali’s independent specials, YouTube strategy, industry disruption
• 57:00 – 65:36: Critiquing films for realism/suspension of disbelief
• 80:19 – 85:14: On fathers, trauma, and conscious parenting
• 87:07 – 89:55: Toiling in tough markets—ego and vulnerability of live shows

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Summary

This TigerBelly episode is a riotous mix of confessions, behind-the-scenes stand-up tales, and insightful industry commentary, built around the relentless drive and unique journey of Ali Siddiq. Expect stories of minor crime, comic loyalty and betrayal, self-promotion, and the new rules for comedy success in an online-first world. From the “rat hunt” of the Comedy Store lot to YouTube’s democratization of comedy, and the heartbreak of Corpus Christi crowds, this conversation is both brutally honest and hilarious—satisfying diehard fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

We got a rat in the house.

[C]

I am not a rat.

[B]

Fucking sinking rat. He's rat in the house, man. What a rat you are.

[C]

I am not a fucking rat, bro. How do you define a rat?

[B]

Somebody that tells, gives names up. Interesting. Interesting.

[C]

Which I did not do to you.

[B]

Yeah. So you didn't rat me out, but you ratted other people out?

[D]

Look, I want.

[B]

I know, I know. We're gonna edit it out, but we're gonna. But you ratted other people out.

[C]

I was losing my. On the phone, you're pressing me. You're hard pressing me. And I say, I'm not gonna give it up. I'm not gonna give it up. And you're like, if you know what's good for you, you will tell me now.

[B]

Ah, yeah, but it was. It was actually a test, though.

[C]

I said it was a test. I said that. I said if I tell you.

[B]

Right. Calm down, calm down.

[C]

Said if I tell you right now, then it's going to seem like I give people's names up, which I don't do. And you were like. You were like, you work for me and you tell me. And I was like, okay. I was very.

[B]

Gave me a list of names, did you not?

[C]

No, not a list to do.

[B]

You can't really listen to a list of two. A list of two. Yeah.

[C]

And I regretted it so much, it instantly called you back and said, is this going to. Is this going to be a bigger problem? And you really.

[B]

It could be. You were like, yeah, yeah, it could be. I'm going to make this. I want to make it a very big problem for you, which I want to tell you. I'll tell you what happened.

[C]

We won't include this, but what.

[B]

Yeah, so. So Friday night. Friday night, right? I'm at the Comedy Store and I take my car and I thought it was in forward, it was in reverse.

[C]

I just want to say.

[B]

And Luke's the Locke guy. Nowhere to be found.

[C]

Oh, this is a Hyundai.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. So I speed up and I hear a crash. Oh, no. So then I get out Of I can't get out. So I get out of the driver's seat. Because the reason why.

[C]

The passenger.

[B]

The passenger seat, I mean.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I'm letting you know. You're piling on, brother.

[B]

You're piling on.

[C]

How is this piling on?

[B]

Brother, Brother, please, please. And so, no, the reason why I put it in reverse is because I lost my phone. Okay? So I lied just now. I already got myself in a lie.

[C]

Okay?

[B]

So. But there's so little space that I can't get out of the driver's side, so I had to crawl over and go to the other side. I know exactly where it is. It's in the office. Okay. Grab it, get in the car, and just drive away. Yeah, right. Which is the normal thing to do.

[C]

I agree.

[B]

You agree, right. And then late at night, the problem started. Okay, well, so it's not your fault.

[C]

Okay, I know, but my perspective of this story is like, a lot shift from hell. I just. I was standing up on the ramp for one second. I come down, and there's a car totally smashed. And it's like, wha. Well, I wasn't even here. Everyone's like, oh, yeah, yeah, I heard

[B]

you made that sound.

[C]

I'm like, what happened? I can't figure out what happened. And they're like, well, there's only so many people it could be. It's either Ali Wong, Jimmy Oyang, Bobby Lee.

[B]

Oh. Because Asian drivers.

[C]

That's good, Luke.

[B]

That's a really good joke, Luke. Oh, boy, that burned. So, yeah, yeah. It could only be the three of us.

[C]

Just take a look at the lineup, and they go. It's the first that we should check up on.

[B]

All right, so anyway, that's not what happened, though. What happened was the person I hit go. Well, apparently I had people that are trying to undented before the guy finds out, which is me, which is you, which is which. Very noble. Yeah, yeah. And very. I like it.

[C]

It made it henchmen.

[B]

You're like a familiar.

[C]

They were so mad at me for doing that.

[B]

Who was they?

[C]

Management.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And don't put this in trying to undo.

[B]

No, no, no. It's. Everything's fine. No, but I will never play at the Comedy Store again if they fire you.

[C]

Oh, my damn, that's bold. Is this going in?

[B]

Yeah, it is 100% going in.

[D]

All right.

[B]

So then I asked him. So then Joe calls me, the manager of the condos. He goes. He goes, I saw it. I go, what'd you see? What? Huh? What you mean? Yeah. And he Goes the tape.

[E]

Oh, God.

[B]

The person that I hit saw his car and said, I need to see the tape. I didn't know. I didn't know there was tape.

[C]

Yes. You're playing. You're playing.

[B]

My plan wasn't crazy.

[C]

Can I hear the person?

[B]

I will. I'll let you know. I'll let you know.

[C]

Also, because your car. Before your car, you. You were notorious for, like, your bumper was always hanging off, and you're. You seem like you're a pretty rambunctious driver to begin with.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

You have a history, I think.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a history.

[C]

So I think it would have.

[D]

You.

[C]

You maybe bought yourself 15 minutes of innocence.

[B]

Right?

[C]

I think it would have gotten.

[B]

So then I'll tell you who. Not who. The rats aren't.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Steph Tola.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

Okay. She was in the car, saw me do it.

[C]

She was in the car.

[B]

Not my. Not my car, but in. In her car, watching me do it. Yeah, Right. And her. Her and her fiance looked at me, and they gave me a wink, like. Yeah, like, just move on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is, like, you know, respectful.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. So I go home, and they saw the tape. And then. But then Joe, the manager said, there's a couple of guys that said that you hit him. And I go, who are the names?

[E]

Right.

[B]

And he goes, I can't tell you that as the manager. And I go, okay.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

And then I call Luke.

[C]

You're like the Godfather.

[B]

I go, who ratted me out? Luke.

[D]

Right.

[B]

And Luke would not say.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

And then I'm not gonna say who the names are. I'm very, very honorable.

[C]

Yeah, except. Except for hitting someone's car and driving away. You're immediately. Immediately. Like, there's a red flag about, like,

[B]

how could you play. No, I'm the honorable one. I'm the honorable. Because if. No. If there was no tape, right. There were no witnesses. There's a mystery.

[C]

Okay. I guess.

[B]

Yeah. And I live in mystery.

[C]

But no tape.

[B]

That's the realm I live in. Mystery is a mystery realm. It's fourth dimensional.

[C]

No, tape is one thing of, like. Oh, the camera angle we couldn't see. You say no witnesses, or do you execute people? People saw.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. I don't execute in the way of the old times, like the 16th century where there's a guillotine. Yeah, yeah, right. And the townspeople show up and they witness. No, no. I execute in different ways.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I don't like rats. Right, right. So a couple of people ratted me out that I hit car.

[C]

Who's such a nice guy?

[B]

He's such a nicest guy. Very funny comic. Right. So I call after I've been read it out and you know, I mean, there's a tape and I go, what is it going to cost me? And he goes, nothing.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Very nice. He said nothing. Do you know why he also lives in the Mystery Realm? Yeah, yeah. If you don't know what it means. You don't know what it means. But there is a mystery realm out there. Okay. Alex knows. Yeah. Linkin Park. Dude, that's a mystery band. Yeah. If that's your favorite band, you live in the mystery world.

[C]

So it's your favorite band.

[B]

No, because I go in and out to reality.

[C]

Yeah, you're able to.

[B]

I go to a mystery. To reality real quick. Yeah. So you rather the two names out. I have it on a list. I'm not gonna do anything.

[C]

I did not do that.

[B]

Can I go upstairs and show you the list? I remember,

[C]

I was like, oh, my God, what the fuck am I gonna do? You know, it's such a. It's such. I'm like. I could not fathom the disaster that this has called. This has caused. It has nothing to do with me. I shouldn't be involved in this mess at all.

[B]

You had nothing to do with anything? I guess. What are you scared about?

[C]

I guess.

[B]

What are you scared about? Why are you scared of me?

[C]

Because you're a Mystery Realm dude.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Your leader of the Mystery Realm.

[A]

I'm not.

[C]

That was the worst lot. Shift of my life after that happened. I was so stressed because I was like, this is a disaster. And I don't know what. How to play. It was a little bit upset, honestly.

[B]

No, I heard he snapped.

[C]

He was a little bothered.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

He was like. He's like. So everyone just watched Bobby hit. Hit my car and leave. And I guess the consensus was yes. So he was pretty. He was pretty. I think. Hurt. I think his feelings were hurt.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I'm going to give him some time here on.

[C]

Let him promote something.

[B]

To what?

[C]

Let him promote something.

[B]

Yeah, you will.

[C]

It was not me.

[B]

Just. Just hold on. Just hold on. If he doesn't pick up, he doesn't pick up. And that's the Lord's will.

[C]

Mystery Realm forwarded to voicemail.

[B]

Oh, fuck the person you're trying to.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay, good.

[C]

Okay. You will call, but later in the night. And I don't like talking about this on such a phobic forum because it makes me look really Bad at my job and stupid. But I'm not. I'm good at my job and smart.

[B]

It doesn't seem so I read it. The fact would suggest.

[C]

No.

[B]

That you're not good at your job.

[C]

This had nothing to do with me. You're a freaking hidden corner. You're the bumper cars in there with you. I gotta, like, keep an eye on you 24 7. I literally. I remember I left your car in a place where I was like, he could easily get out. There's no issue. He's never gonna hit a car. Little did I know, you drive out

[B]

car which cost me $5,000. I'm known to do it.

[C]

Yeah, you are known to do it.

[B]

And let me tell you this right now. I've hit many cars there.

[C]

I know.

[B]

And never admitted to it. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

And other.

[B]

Okay, what are you gonna do about it?

[C]

Mystery Realm. Other comedians will get mad at the door. Guys who park the cars. Like, you guys are all idiots. All you do is hit the cars. Blah, blah, blah.

[B]

Well, it's a small parking lot. Let's say that.

[C]

Yeah. It's tight.

[B]

It's the tightest parking lot imaginable. Have you been there? Yeah.

[E]

Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

When it's a pack, when there's a lot of comics on, you have to do a lot of maneuvering.

[C]

Yes, yes.

[B]

And it's tough.

[C]

People want to leave and rush to another spot. People are late for their spot. So people are flooring it in. People are flooring it out. It was one of the worst lot shifts of my life because later in the night, I was getting ready to go home. And long story short, another comics car keys were ran over by a car. Oh, my God.

[B]

Wait, wait, wait. That night.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Another person's. What?

[C]

Car keys.

[B]

Got ran over. Ran over by car.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Whose car keys were they?

[C]

Can this be believed out?

[B]

Yeah, it can be bleeped out.

[C]

Yeah. Okay. Bleep it out. He was very nice about it.

[B]

Give me the name. Okay. Okay.

[C]

And this was on Juneteenth and.

[B]

Yeah, it was on June.

[F]

Timing.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So.

[C]

Yes. And unlike. Unlike Juneteenth. I told him right away.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Instantly the news dropped. I told him immediately.

[B]

Okay. Is that him? I'll go get him.

[C]

Wait, this. We gotta switch topics before he gets here. I don't want this. I want this topic.

[A]

What?

[C]

I'm, like, sweating. I'm sweating through my shirt.

[B]

I know. So I know. We're gonna. Why would. Why would that be a factor?

[C]

I just feel bad. Like, how so?

[B]

You're the lockeye, right?

[C]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

You're supposed to put the keys right in the dashboard or something like that. Yeah. So what you did was what, threw it on the ground?

[C]

No, it like.

[B]

Happy Juneteenth. What is going on here? It.

[C]

It. It was. I don't know how it happened. I don't know how it happened, but we. We give people. We give people.

[B]

Let me know when he comes, cuz I want to greet him.

[C]

We give people hill rides at the end of the night. All the other staff, we give them a ride to where you park your car.

[B]

I've done hill rides. Don't talk to me like that.

[C]

Who cares? I'm going to get fired. This doesn't even matter.

[B]

You're not getting fired.

[E]

Okay, you pass.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Energy, Energy, focus.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on a strict diet right now, so I can't.

[E]

There's no nicotine. It's just nad.

[B]

Yeah, I cannot do it. But thank you so much.

[C]

I'm interested. But what is it?

[B]

I'll take it. These.

[D]

Great.

[B]

Yeah, I'll take it now. Is it caffeine?

[E]

Look it up. It's blip. It's for energy and focus.

[C]

Nootropic. Is this a free ad?

[E]

Tropic? No, it's not a free ad.

[B]

Okay. And it's a pill. Oh, it's a dip pouch. It's a pouch. I have a pat. I already have a. I'll do two pouches.

[E]

No, no, no. Oh my God.

[B]

Double pouch.

[E]

Oh, no.

[C]

So do you care if I try one or do you want. You want.

[B]

No, give it to it. That's yours.

[E]

Give it to it.

[B]

Give it to it.

[E]

Dude.

[C]

All right. I'm a human person.

[B]

So anyway, I mean, Kalai has no idea what's going on.

[C]

There's a rat. You just have to know.

[B]

There's a rat. There's a rat. He's a rat.

[E]

You're a rat.

[B]

I'm not a fucking rat. I'm not.

[C]

I was. So first of all, I'm not a rat. But also I have so much respect for. And I felt my heart broke for him that 10 people are standing there looking at him and he's like. Everyone just let.

[B]

Just tell her real quickly. All right. I backed into car at the car, really dented the fuck out of it. And I drove away. And I drove away and left. Didn't say anything. Yeah, right.

[C]

And I.

[B]

At night. At night I got a call. We have the tape.

[E]

Yeah. Why'd you do that?

[C]

I'll get him and I Was working. So I'm in the middle of this huge mess.

[B]

Explain. You explain.

[C]

Is like, hello. What the fuck? How did this happen? Why did Bobby leave? Everyone's, like, so scared of Bobby so that they just let him leave. And it was kind of like, I guess, yeah, I wasn't there. I was not in the lot at the time. So I'm just being told all this information from, like, all these different random people. Like, oh, yeah, this. That I don't know. By the way, I later find out, Bobby says, oh, oh, I thought I hit the dumpster. The dumpster, which is like 20ft away. Obviously. You hit a car. Obviously. There's not a dumpster parked next to you. She can tell you stories. Used to live where he's ran his pri.

[E]

He's ran me over, of course.

[C]

Oh, he hit her. He's also like, oh, people are ratting on me. Who's going to find out? You have a reputation for hitting cars in the lot. You would have been the first call, no matter what.

[B]

T is here, everybody.

[E]

Hi. Hi.

[B]

Andre, guys.

[E]

Hi, Andre. Hi. I'm k. I am co host.

[C]

Nice to meet you. I'm Luke.

[B]

Nice to meet you all. You sit here whenever you have a chance. Bluechew gold is better sex in a tablet. I'll tell you that right now because I'm 55 years old almost, you know, I'm in a relationship, you know. And I'll tell bluechew gold is amazing because bluechew was great in itself, okay? But it's like. It's like Star Wars, New Hope, and then Empire Strikes Back. All right, all right. It's like you think, oh, my God, New Hope. Great, right? The Empire Strikes Back. Or like they improved it. You know what I mean? Bluetooth gold gives you the desire, right? It's time to make your bedroom noisy again. And I'm going to say that to everybody. All right? Nothing says hello to neighbors like a bedpost knocking against a drywall at 2am

[E]

What I'm hearing, Bobby, is that your wiener is no longer just an organization. It's a star athlete.

[B]

Yeah, it's the LeBron James of that.

[E]

Whoa.

[B]

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[B]

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[E]

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[B]

Okay, so if you pay Atlanta.

[E]

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[B]

I'll tell you mine too.

[E]

Okay, you say it first.

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[B]

need Ollie Nobody Ollie, welcome to the podcast. I honestly, this is the truth. You're one of my favorite comedians to watch.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

And can I tell you why? Tell me your your voice. It makes stuff in my body vibrate. Oh. Oh no, no. Not in that way.

[C]

Not in that.

[B]

Andre.

[E]

Well, what?

[B]

Hiding behind the body?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, no it just has like a berry whitey. You know what I mean? Like a dog. He could just. A really good voice.

[C]

A dark good voice.

[B]

Anyway, let's. It came out. Why are you shaking your head, Luke? No. Why does this guy hear what?

[C]

No, just keep me out of it.

[B]

I don't want to be in anyway. The reason why. The reason why is because your style of comedy is something that I've always wanted to do, but I can't do it. Your patience and the way you can control a room. Right. Cause I need to get a laugh every, like, eight seconds or do something stupid. You're telling a story. You have the room locked in and mesmerized. It's a type of talent that you're born with. I'm so needy. I can't fucking do it. So it's like, you're just such a good storyteller. You're such a great comic. Give him a round of applause every day. Let me ask you a question. Yes, if I may.

[D]

You may.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Podcast for sure.

[B]

What'd you say?

[D]

It's your podcast.

[B]

You may. I can ask whatever I want. Why is Andre not even focusing? Yeah. Yeah. Why? Because this is not Shay Shay.

[D]

He didn't focus.

[B]

If we were on Shay Shay, he'd be focusing.

[D]

No, didn't focus at all. He was eating. Like, I looked over when we was doing club shakes. I looked over. He's eating fries.

[B]

Oh, fries. Wrap this shit up. Okay, so I know that you went to prison.

[D]

Yeah. You've been, you know, you talking like you just met me.

[B]

I've heard you've been.

[D]

Do you want me. Do you want to go back to when we first met?

[B]

No, no. We will go to our origin story.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

I'd love to know that.

[B]

Yeah. But I honestly never knew that you went to prison. Yeah, yeah. What was it for?

[E]

Even I know that. Have you watched nothing?

[B]

Well, you explained it to me in Filipino terms.

[E]

In Filipino. I don't want to explain it now.

[B]

See? Cause you don't know.

[E]

Yes, I do. It was cocaine.

[B]

Oh, I love cocaine.

[E]

I do cocaine.

[F]

I do.

[B]

I love it. I used to do it all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

What's a Filipino term for that? Shabu. No.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know.

[D]

I don't know. I have to ask. My son. My son was raised by a Filipino lady.

[E]

Oh, really?

[D]

He may know.

[B]

He may know. Yeah, yeah. How old is your son?

[D]

15.

[B]

Wow. Okay. He'll know. He'll know. So how long were you in it?

[D]

Six years now.

[B]

Was it because I Don't know much about it. Okay. Prison life.

[E]

Can I tell you something?

[B]

Why is it uncomfortable?

[C]

I feel like we're not.

[B]

I'm sorry, do you have to reset? Because. No, I don't know what the is going on. I think I'm being a good journalist.

[C]

You say turtles journalist.

[B]

I think I'm being a very good mindful interviewer.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

And there's a vibe in here. It's Andre. I don't know what the is going on. Might be Andre.

[C]

Why be Andre?

[B]

When I said, like, his voice makes me you vibrate. That was weird. It wasn't weird.

[C]

It wasn't sexual.

[B]

It wasn't anything. It was just through my body. You know what I mean? Everything I got weird. So what I'm saying to you right now is let's regroup. We'll go to our origin story and everything will be fine. What the fuck is going on here?

[C]

You said the thing too.

[B]

I don't think it was the only reference that I could come up with in terms of that kind of storytelling. I only ask because I'm back now. Back in the fucking mode, dude. I'm back in the mode, dude.

[D]

Back to Larry King.

[B]

Larry King, dude. Yeah. Would I survive in prison?

[C]

That's a good question.

[B]

That's a good question. That's.

[D]

What, what was the question?

[B]

Would I survive Bobby Lee in prison?

[E]

Bobby Lee for six years?

[D]

Yes, you would survive.

[B]

Yeah. In what way? Because I have no muscle mass.

[D]

No, I think that you would survive because they would think that you were nuts. Oh, crazy. And it was like, yo, you, you would make it. Yeah, because, you know, but, you know, Bobby, I, I. You talking about now or then? No, that, that was in the early 90s.

[B]

Oh, when you went.

[D]

Yeah, 91.

[B]

Yeah. And it was like, cool then.

[D]

No, it was dangerous then.

[C]

It's very dangerous.

[D]

But it's, you know, it's, you know, they doing tick tocks now.

[B]

So they have cats, you know. Yeah, they have cats tick tocks. Yeah.

[D]

You know. Yeah, they're shooting videos. I don't know. I don't know how dangerous it is, you know, when you own the phone in prison.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, so they're, they're able to scroll and, and see the news.

[D]

I think they give them laptops.

[B]

Oh, really?

[D]

I don't know what they got going on. It seemed like they, they are very well aware of what's going on in the world.

[B]

Ah, I see. Do you think, do you think they watch pornography on there or. They probably have that block.

[D]

No, no, they, I don't know what they watch. Cause I don't know what's going on. But, you know, when I was in prison, I was a pimp.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[D]

For like six months. I was a pimp for six months.

[E]

How does a pimp in prison operate?

[D]

You get a picture of a girl sent to you from the world as a free world girl. And then you just loan out for supes.

[E]

Oh, nice.

[D]

You know, you have the taper. You gotta make sure that you tape both sides of the picture, you know? Cause they take it in the shower. You be like, yo, take my homegirl, Kim. Do what you do. Bring the picture back.

[E]

Who brings the pictures in and who are the pictures of?

[D]

Oh, no, the people get sent, you know, pictures get sent to them.

[E]

All of those.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

You tell your boys, hey, man, this what I need. There are no Latino ladies in here. They need Latinos, you know, we need black. We need some hot white chicken. And then you had. Then you just come and you show a picture, and dudes be like, oh, I'll take that one.

[B]

Yeah. And they borrow. It's on loan.

[D]

Yeah, it's on loan.

[B]

Yeah. And what would you receive for the photo?

[D]

Soups, chips, envelopes.

[B]

Oh, God, the soups. Yeah, you gotta get the soups. Yeah. Bone broth, maybe.

[D]

Then no.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Then they start. Then they started abusing my women, so I had to stop, man.

[B]

What? Oh, there'd be, like, stuff on.

[D]

It came back, her head ripped off. Violent. A violent character. Are you ripping off. Goddamn.

[B]

Oh, the. My friends, the crime that they committed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I see, I see.

[D]

It's resurfacing.

[B]

It's resurfacing. Yeah. Wow. So that's. That's good pimping. Yeah.

[D]

Nobody gets hurt.

[B]

No one gets hurt, right? You lamb. I would laminate mine.

[D]

No, we don't have no laminate. We got tape. You got to tape it. And you. You got the. You got the really stretch that tape where it's clear. It's a clear picture.

[B]

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[D]

Yes. But it's. It's a. It was. You know, photos was good back then.

[B]

Back then, yeah. Because pre Internet. But if I went in, I always thought that I would get, like, tossed around.

[E]

Oh, I see.

[B]

No, I'm little. Five, Three, five, three. From behind.

[C]

It seems like you want it. Like you're pitching yourself.

[F]

Why are you.

[B]

Can I be in your picture pack? You got a bobby as an option? As an option? Yeah, I got a special one. And then they're like, I already. That guy. I can't Be in the pair. No, no.

[D]

Why?

[B]

Why?

[D]

No? I only got one gender.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

2001, you'd have to go down to the other end of the prison where they got. Where they got PC and all them guys. No different.

[B]

All right, let me ask you this. If I offered services, what kind?

[E]

Bobby, you can't say soft services, soft serve ice cream.

[D]

Would you.

[F]

Would you?

[B]

No. Like, I give handies. Just listen to me.

[C]

I'm not done with my.

[E]

Put it on a menu.

[B]

I have a menu, bro. I have a fucking menu, dude. Right? So handy.

[D]

You've thought about this.

[B]

I have. Way too much.

[E]

Literally every episode, he talks about prison.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

He fantasizes about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yo, why is there so much glue over there? Just saw all this glue.

[B]

I'm obsessed with glue. El Elmore's glue.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's like my Diddy thing, you know,

[C]

There's a lot of Diddy.

[B]

He likes oil.

[D]

I like glue on, then slowly peeling it off. Like, what you got going on?

[B]

Yeah, stuff like that. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

No, man. Yeah. I think that you was. I think you. You was.

[B]

But so a menu. You don't want to talk about.

[D]

Talking about the fact that you be talking about, yo, I'm giving out handies. They were like, what the is wrong with him?

[B]

Oh, so I could get nothing from them. I can't get sued.

[E]

I think you're a little too thirsty.

[D]

What?

[E]

You can't just be like, handies.

[D]

They would be weird. Like, I'm like, yo, what's up with all. What's up with.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Yo, Bruce Lee is.

[B]

My name would be Chow Lynn.

[D]

They would call you Bruce.

[B]

Oh, they would.

[D]

There they go.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

They would call you Bruce Lee, man. Look at little Bruce Lee.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Because, you know, it was another Asian guy and nobody messed with him.

[B]

I didn't.

[D]

But Asian guys look a little tougher in prison than you think. It's like, it's not a large population. And all of them small Vietnamese guys.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Little, you know, little Filipino guys. These ain't the people that you want to mess with, you know, because they don't look friendly. They don't look like, yo, I'm like, you. Like, you, like, you going there combing your hair, right? Or something? Like, I don't know what you had going on, but them guys look tough in there.

[B]

Oh, okay. I shave my head.

[D]

Oh, you shave. As soon as you shave your head and put a dragon.

[B]

Yeah, I'll put a drag on my head. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Or tattoo on your head.

[B]

Oh, lotus flower.

[D]

No, don't put the flower.

[B]

Why?

[C]

Why?

[D]

No, you look.

[B]

All right.

[D]

No, put something dangerous on your head.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, how about like a. A photo of Pete Hegseth, Secretary of War. Right. And go America first above it.

[D]

Oh, that one would be.

[B]

Oh, that would be. Okay. I'm just testing it out. No lotus flower. No pediatric stuff. Okay, good.

[D]

Miracle first. I'm talking about your own people. Like you be just sitting over, getting kicked in the face. What the.

[B]

Going on over there. By the way, I am a liberal, and John Ossoff and James Tilariko are people that I'm really rooting for. Let's move on. What was our origin story?

[D]

We met in Houston at the Houston Improv.

[B]

Love it.

[C]

What year is this shit?

[D]

2001.

[B]

Holy fuck, dude. That's a long way back.

[D]

This is when you were mooning the audience.

[B]

I still do it.

[E]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my closure.

[C]

That's crazy.

[D]

He was just working again.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

I forget the. The lady that you had featuring for you, but I was hosting because I was coming up to the club that I was hosting. And after the first show. Because you did a weekend. And after the first show.

[B]

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Just give me a second.

[C]

You.

[B]

Is he thinking.

[C]

He's trying to think of the lady.

[B]

No, no, no.

[E]

You already remember it.

[B]

I remember it.

[E]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. And I didn't know it was you. Let's go. Continue.

[D]

So.

[B]

What a great. What a great interview.

[C]

What a great interview. Andy up and taking a lap.

[B]

I'm. I. I. Am I being backed into a corner?

[D]

No.

[B]

Was it. Is this a good origin story?

[D]

Bad.

[B]

All right. Oh, it's a good story. Okay, good.

[D]

So after the. After the first show, you come down to the green room.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And you put everybody out besides me. And you said, hey, I'm not going to put you off the show. I just want to ask, are you an opening act or are you a headliner? I said, I'm a headliner. I headline this clothes all the time. I fucking knew it. The improv puts all the strong people in front of me while performing. Cause I was destroying this. I was literally destroying.

[B]

I remember.

[D]

And I would ease up after your feature because you was coming up. Cause I was really. Cause I'm home and I'm destroying it with no local shit. I was really destroying. And he was like, yo, they fucking always do this to me. And then I didn't see your clothes at the first show. Cause I was downstairs. Then the second show, I was standing on the side. And I was like, is he taking off his clothes? There's no way he's taking off his clothes. And I don't know why I thought it was no way. Cause you had just got this dude's phone in the front and put it down your underwear. I was like, classic. Like, what the.

[B]

The classic joke taught me that.

[D]

Like, yo. And I'm like. And after that, after the rest of the show, after that show, when people was handing their phones, I was. I was trying to look at people like, no, don't give him your phone, because your phone is going down.

[B]

Here's what I do. It's a joke, okay? And I'm not gonna ever do it again. Now, this is the end of whatever. But this is why I did that. When I'm on stage and someone in the audience is texting somebody, it infuriates me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So, hey, you want a photo? You mean? And they'll give me the phone. Right. So then. Right. So then I'll stick it down my pants, take a photo, give it back to them, and go tag me. Okay.

[E]

Right.

[B]

And it gets a laugh, right?

[D]

It does.

[B]

It does get. It does, right?

[D]

It did.

[B]

It did. Yeah. Yeah. So my point is, it's not some random thing. It's always like, you know, as a comic, as, you know, you have different. There's a thousand things that can go on in the room, and you have reactions and different things that you can do to react to those things that occur. Heckling, you know what I mean? People being rowdy. Why do you look at my fingers?

[D]

Cause you doing it justice. It's like you're doing Obama. So I'm just. You got justice doing whatever his name is. Trump. Whatever.

[F]

All right.

[B]

Sorry. My bad.

[E]

Also, nice manicure.

[B]

Okay. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. I'm going to a little event tonight.

[C]

Prison?

[B]

Yeah. No, no. Yeah. With my menus.

[D]

You also told me that same weekend you told me a story that you and Spanky Hayes was supposed to do something together.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Like little cops or something.

[B]

No, no, no. It was called War Babies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Spanky Hayes is a little black man.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Is he not? Yeah, yeah. Kind of a little black man. And he's smaller than me. Is he shorter than you, Spanky Hayes?

[C]

Yeah. Oh, who's shorter, Bobby or Spanky?

[D]

I don't know. Yeah, I look like y' all about the same.

[B]

Okay. All right. But I'm taller than Kevin Hart.

[E]

You are?

[B]

Oh, yeah. I did a movie with him.

[E]

I know.

[B]

I stood by him.

[E]

Yeah. I Believe you?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. And I just saw him at the. The lunch.

[F]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah. So, yeah, yeah.

[D]

You got. You got invited to the Netflix launch? Yeah.

[B]

Why?

[D]

I just asked.

[B]

Okay. Have you been invited?

[D]

No.

[B]

And I'm going to tell you something right now, okay. That was the first time I was ever invited. And I was mad for years. That was never invited. And then it comes, and then you do it, and then you go, okay, check. You know, but what's so funny?

[C]

I mean, you say. You just go, oh, yeah, check. But you're like, yeah, me and Kev at lunch, we were hanging out at the Netflix lunch. You seem to be bringing it up. Okay,

[E]

you're right. He does talk a lot about it.

[C]

A lot.

[B]

How about the lunches?

[E]

Check. Yeah, you talk about it every day.

[B]

It's a double check. It's a double check for sure. Yeah. Yeah. But so Spanking Hayes and I had a movie that called War Babies, and it's basically, you know, we have the same. He's half Asian, right.

[E]

And I pass for half Asian. What could he pass for half Asian?

[B]

I don't think so. Yeah, yeah. I don't think so. Yeah.

[E]

For the purpose of this movie. Okay, continue.

[B]

There's Spanky. I think he could.

[E]

Oh, yeah, I think he could.

[B]

I think he could. Yeah. Anyway, we're stepbrothers or something, but we were both born during a war

[D]

and

[B]

we're called War Babies. That's the only premise. You know, Spinky and I back then, we weren't writers. I think we pitched it once and it was like, that's all you have, honestly.

[E]

But, like, visually, you guys probably looked really cute together.

[B]

We did. So, yeah. Yeah, it's a good idea. There's something there. But I don't know. But yeah, I love Spanky. Who's that? Is that Arius in back of him?

[D]

Like, Pete?

[B]

Yeah, Pete. Yeah.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Okay. Did you. So you started with. In Houston, then you. You knew Ralphie then?

[D]

Yeah, I knew Ralphie.

[B]

Yeah. Well, yeah, yeah, he was another one. See, let me tell you something about you in Texas.

[D]

Sleepers.

[B]

Exactly. So another thing happened. There used to be a comedy club in Houston called the Laugh Stop.

[D]

Yep, Laugh Stop.

[B]

Yeah. And this guy named. Do you know the guy that ran it?

[D]

Pete?

[B]

Yeah. But there was a meth head that once ran it and he became a meth head. Anyway, God bless you and take care. But so I played the Laugh Stop and I was featuring there in the 90s, and Ralphie opened. He was the emcee, and I drowned Every show. I mean, it's like these fuckers, right? They're so good. But, you know, locally, they become hosts. They host a show, but they want to. They want to show. I mean, this is what Texas is all about. You. You live or you drown, and then, you know, you see a guy like. Like Ollie and Ralphie May, and it's like. It's crazy. Like, Hicks is from there, Kinnison's from there, Carl LeBeau's from there. And there's so many legends from Texas. You guys, there's a Mexican guy that's still working from. What's his name?

[D]

Juan Valerie.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, Juan. He's a beast.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

These guys, dude. These guys. When you go on the road one day, dude, right? Yeah. And you're featuring, dude, be scared, because there are dudes out there that have been doing it that are animals. They're animals.

[D]

Yeah, we. Yeah, we gotta. We got a nice little lineage of people.

[B]

I know.

[D]

And when people, you know, especially when somebody come from out of town and they think that we just. Some run because we. Hosting, because we just like to work. So it's not a. The hosting position is not a bad position for us. And then what I was doing at that time was stealing audiences.

[B]

There's a. That was a laptop.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God, the memories.

[D]

Yeah, laugh. Stop. It was the last spot. Yeah, Just joking. It was, you know, before the improv, it was spellbinders.

[B]

I remember spellbinders. Yeah.

[D]

And they. Then they moved to the improv space and couldn't hold the lease. And then improv bought it, came in and got it. Now they moved the improv down. You know, they redid it and moved it down.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

It sees more people. But, yeah, Houston has a long lineage of great comics.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I completely. You don't have to preach.

[D]

No, I'm just saying.

[B]

I'm telling you right now. I get it. I lived it. And you know what I do now, dude? I call the clubs or whatever, because I bring all my own features. I go get me the worst comic. I literally do, like, somebody that just isn't good, and they go, are you sure? I go, yeah. Because I want my feature to struggle. Because if you have a bad host, Right. He doesn't truly get them. Right. So then your feature has to do 10 minutes of, like, getting them going, right. So that I have the feature spot. Yeah, right. It's. It's genius. It's psychological because of, like, you, dude, you, Ralphie, all those guys that would just, I mean, destroy. Right. And my Feature is also, like, kind of an open micr always. I don't know who was opening for me that weekend.

[D]

It was. It's like this. This white lady with sandy brown hair. I just remember that.

[B]

Oh, I know what it was.

[D]

I just remember.

[B]

I know what that I don't want to name.

[D]

And you know who else is from Houston who's a mother? Shane Wayne.

[B]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[D]

Shane Wayne from Houston.

[B]

Yeah, he's from Houston. Yeah. Christella is from Texas, too. Alonzo.

[D]

Yeah. Thea Vidal. Yeah, we have.

[B]

We have a. I remember Christella was the waitress at the Addison Improv.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And then she. And then she started doing MC spots for me, and I was like, what the. And then, like, I would use her as a feature. I mean, she's. There's people out there that you got to work harder.

[C]

Yeah. Now I'm a little embarrassed that I posted for you, honestly, here. Getting the worst guy ever.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I've hosted for Bobby Lee. No big deal.

[B]

This isn't the stage where I want to get the worst guy in there.

[C]

Yes, yes. But you. You talked about. You said you. You went up there and you wanted to, like, steal audiences.

[D]

Oh, yeah, for sure. You got to come steal somebody else. So that's. What was that. That was like, maybe six weeks of me going opening for whoever. Cause they would call me like, hey, you want to open for Bobby Lee? I'm like, cool new audience. And right before you, it was Angela Johnson.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And saying right before Angela Johnson was Mars Gibrani. You know what I'm saying? So then I was like, these are not people who would normally see me. So then I would get new fans in my own city that didn't know me. So I could literally stay in Houston and I don't have to really travel. I can go to the improv and do 13, 14 shows in a weekend.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

Make a bunch of money and just stay at home and.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And do that every three months.

[B]

Wow. Because you can get another hour and. Three months. You can get another hour in three months.

[D]

No.

[B]

Klarna let you split purchases into different payment options. Klarna. Guys, you know what? We had a redrobe. Redrobe wardrobe. Alex. And why.

[C]

He looks fine.

[D]

Right?

[B]

He looked like a bulldog.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

In a pound. And I didn't like it, you know? And, you know, he's genetically handsome. Stretched out, but still very handsome. He stretched out, you know? But he. To me, I can see the handsome.

[E]

So we had to basically buy this whole new wardrobe for Alex because, you

[B]

know, we go to dinners and lunch and we go out together. Yeah.

[E]

He's trying to look smacks. He's trying to look the best. Well, according to you, he just really just needs to change his overall esthetic.

[B]

And that's not a bad thing. It's like I'm not forcing. It was a suggestion. He agreed.

[E]

And so, you know, with that we had to make a ton of purchases.

[B]

We did.

[E]

And thankfully we don't have to come out of pocket almost immediately because we have Klarna. You know, with Klarna, what I love about Klarna for people like Luke and I is that it offers value, transparency, control and no surprises. You can pay now or later or over time. Whatever fits your life or whatever budget that you have. Klarna works for you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Guys, vote in the comments. Which look is better, please? We would like to see a poll.

[C]

Yeah, I think, I think he got upgraded pretty hard.

[B]

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[E]

Honestly, it's like, it's so hard to part. It's so hard to want something or like need something and have to put part with that like huge amount right out the gate.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

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[D]

It doesn't take me three months to get an hour. Ooh, I shot. I just, I just. When did we shoot? Two months ago. Yeah, we shot four specials. I saw that in, in two days.

[B]

All right, Bobby, give him. Bobby, give him your numbers.

[C]

Bobby, give him the ideas.

[D]

I've been shooting. I've been shooting for the last six years. I shoot two specials at a time. And then when I went to Dallas, two different hours. Two different hours. So in Dallas, I shot three. And then when we got to dc, I decided to shoot four. So I. After this special just came out. My father. I shot that in Detroit in 2024. So we have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. We have six specials in the can. I'm working on four new specials now. All different hours, different things. So three. I wish I did that three months. Like, three months. Well, I do like seven.

[C]

Poppy's face.

[D]

I'm just. Yeah, you asked. I'm just saying when I was in the clubs, I was doing. And people would tell people I was. If I did six shows, I did nine shows, I would do a different hour every show. I don't feel the same at 7:30 that I feel at 9:30.

[B]

Yeah. I'm flabbergasted.

[C]

It's got a list. And do you. Do you run it a lot? No. Right. You don't run the. The hour often. Isn't that another part of your process?

[D]

I do a lot of shows. So just look. So we just. If we just look at that.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Those are all your specials. Those are all your specials.

[D]

Yeah. So we shot Domino Effect by itself, then we shot. We shot two by itself. Then we shot three and four together. We shot in between that. We shot Don't Judge a Book by Its cover In between that. My Two Sons and Rugged was shot together Mondays. And my father. And the dog was all shot. And the dog is not up there yet. Cause we released that one on my father. Just like, that's the wrong date for release. I mean. But that's when we shot it. Yeah, that's the rock.

[B]

So I've been doing comedy for 30 years.

[D]

I've been 29.

[B]

Yeah. And I just shot my first special three months ago.

[D]

Boom. Take those numbers. It takes a while.

[B]

Take that in your face.

[D]

It takes a while.

[B]

Once you get in your face, friend.

[D]

Once it gets going.

[B]

Motherfucker. You're a motherfucker. Coming in this place acting like that.

[C]

You're activating the prison agent now.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Thank you. Dude, you what? I mean, I flabbergast. I don't have that kind of work ethic. It's almost as like. Yeah, I don't have that.

[E]

But I feel as though, like, you have so much to mine from, like. I feel like you've lived so many different lives that you are Kind of an endless well of just story, story, story, stories.

[D]

Yeah. And. And I think that's the benefit of not being with a network.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Because there's no way that I would have put out more than one in five in five years with a network.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I was waiting for. What I was waiting for was, goes, well, none of these streamers want me yet, you know?

[E]

Yeah. But you're a really good example, too, of, like, being really successful in putting out your own special in YouTube, because those. You have a ton of people just waiting for your next one to drop. And I feel like there. People do put out stuff on YouTube, but I feel like that is still a struggle for a lot of comics. But I feel like you crack the code with that.

[D]

Yeah. And. And I look at it sometimes to see. Cause, you know, people don't realize it's what, 30 specials a month come out. That's just the ones that they post on the. It's like 300 to 400 specials come out a year. Comics put them out all the time. And then I look at the list, and then I just go down on YouTube what everybody special is doing, and I feel very grateful because there's some people, 10,000 views, you know, 1500 views. Some people get to 200, and then it'll just stale out.

[B]

200 views.

[D]

200,000.

[B]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[E]

You know, I'm sure there's a 200 views.

[D]

There's some. It's some people that don't have a

[B]

lot of views, but are there famous people?

[C]

Yeah. Wow. But yours are like. Wow, 20 million.

[E]

Exactly.

[B]

Oh, my God, you're so rich.

[D]

So.

[B]

Oh, you're killing it.

[D]

So.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

The craziest thing is when you look at. Just go to. We just look at Domino Effect 1, right?

[B]

Yeah. So there's parts to it.

[D]

Yeah. 1, 2, 3, and 4.

[B]

It's like John Wick of comedy specials did.

[D]

So we look at. My two sons won the NAACP Image Awards for outstanding special. Only independently produced special ever win an award.

[B]

Part four is an hour and 56 minutes long.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

How long is yours?

[B]

38 minutes.

[C]

Take that.

[B]

30 years. 38 minutes. An hour and 56 minutes long.

[D]

Yeah. So rugged. Wonderful. Three Webby awards.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

These numbers are crazy.

[B]

They're crazy numbers, dude.

[D]

So this is the thing. So now when you on a network.

[B]

Yeah, this.

[D]

Over four years. Over four years, 20 million views. People keep watching it.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So when you on a network, it's over. It's like you. You do it, and it's Done. Like, my first special was on Comedy Central.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And I probably. Man, I say, maybe if you look at the one that I put out on Comedy Central now. So when I first initially put it out. Go to it now. Go to what they. What they did. So when we tried to buy it back from the success of. Of one.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

They put it out on YouTube. Ah, so not. This is not happening bigger than these bars. Look what it is. Look where it is now. How many views is.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

It did not have that when it was on Comedy Central.

[E]

Right.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

It got that on YouTube.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And they. And they did that after we dropped Domino Effect 1.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

So on YouTube, it probably got 200,000 views. I mean, on comedy. 200,000 views. Yeah, they showed it one time, then we forced them to show it again.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm saying because of Comedy Central having programming and whatnot.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So. And they played it like 11, 11:59 at night on the east coast. Time for it to be played at 8 o' clock on West. It was just crazy. But it. I would never recoup that special from them as what they spent. You know, when you're fine. Yeah.

[C]

So did you know right away, like, oh, this. There's much more to be had on YouTube. You like, how did you learn that that was the way to go?

[D]

We. We shot it independent. We just gonna put on our website at first.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[D]

And then we just said, said, oh, let's drop it on YouTube. And then we started is like, this is the crazy. This is the craziest thing because I have all of those. When people go to YouTube, I also have a. A24.7 live. So people, the specials just rerun all the time. So right now. Right now, Right now is people coming. 1600 people watching.

[C]

Wow. Wow.

[E]

Yeah. You definitely cracked the code.

[B]

You cracked the code.

[E]

Like, YouTube really is like a great place for this, but also could be the pits of hell for some other people. Yeah, for some other people.

[B]

But I think this is the future. I don't know, but I. I think it's the future. Why? Why wouldn't it be the future?

[D]

It's the largest streaming situation.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like nobody. I. Nobody. That's what my complaint about Disclosure Day was.

[C]

What did you

[B]

link this to this? I'm linking this to Disclosure Day, dude. You see Disclosure Day, dude, no. You don't like aliens Dog transition. Yeah, no, I will connect Disclosure Day to all these Sadiq. Okay. Do you want to hear it?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

It's been out for a while. So fuck it. I'm going to make the connection. And here's what's bullshit about disclosure day and what you're doing. Okay, okay. It might be. I have to get it right in my mind real quick. And us Asians, when we calculate, we use an abacus in our mind. All right? So.

[D]

Because literally I'm waiting on him to say, what the fuck is Andre doing?

[B]

He's falling asleep. He's falling asleep, dude. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You know. You know, Andre, you know, just.

[B]

Andre just might not be the kind of podcast that you're used to. You know what I mean? You mean, you know, other people. I get it. You know, I mean, if Gary Owens is here, you'd be like, yeah, yeah, whatever. But, like, yeah, but. But the thing is, is that I'm popular as well, and there are people out there that like me as well. Andre,

[D]

he didn't even go. When I would dig Gary Owens, he didn't even go.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, really?

[D]

No, he didn't even go. Like, this is him at every podcast.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

You could be fucking Michael Jackson. He'd be on his own, like, yeah, Mike over there talking.

[E]

Boo.

[B]

Talk about thriller. Go ahead. Okay, so in disclosure day, okay, It's a Steven Spielberg movie. My rating. Do you see it? Anybody in the room see it?

[E]

I haven't watched it yet.

[B]

Yeah, this week I will. Why?

[C]

I haven't seen it yet.

[B]

Don't, okay? Please don't.

[E]

I thought you were just gonna go,

[B]

no, please do not watch it.

[E]

Why?

[B]

What? I don't want to go against the Hollywood elites right now, okay?

[C]

That ship is sale. You're gone against them every episode.

[D]

Steven Spielberg is about to be mad. You're never getting war babies.

[B]

Delect. Four babies dying.

[D]

Somebody just heard more babies. They're like, I think I did get this.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay, okay, here we go, right? For. For people that are Gen X and boomers love this movie, okay?

[D]

That's me, right?

[B]

Because this is like an old school, like, Spielberg, 1980s type of legacy alien movie, okay? But it gets a couple. It's kind of like you don't really understand how the world works nowadays, right? Okay, so they have this information just really quickly, right, that they're like, we have to get to this news station to expose this alien information to go around the world, right? But who watches CNN just on their couch watching cnn? You get everything here. Yeah, right? Social media, it put it on tick tock.

[E]

What. What year was the movie set in now? Oh, right.

[B]

So they're all racing to get to this Kansas City, you know, I mean, local news. Yeah. All you have to do is look, yo.

[E]

You know what I mean?

[B]

And I was twinkling. You know what I mean?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, that's okay. Yeah.

[E]

It took you out of it then. Completely. Because you're like, this doesn't make sense.

[B]

It doesn't make any sense that why would everyone race? And then government agencies trying to block this group of people to get to the station. News station to reveal the situation. So it goes around the world. But what I'm saying is put it on YouTube, Instagram.

[D]

So this is kind of how you feel about this movie.

[B]

It was a great. You know, I'll give it 8 out of 10.

[E]

What?

[B]

Yeah, I give.

[C]

It just said don't go.

[D]

See, it is the exact way that I felt about get out.

[B]

Oh, well, we've had Jordan on the podcast. Let's just keep it easy here.

[C]

No, go for your.

[D]

I was so mad at get out. Like, I didn't finish watching it because of the opening scene.

[B]

Oh, what was the opening scene?

[D]

The opening scene. Black guy in this fucking random ass neighborhood.

[E]

Lakeith character. Yeah, he gets.

[D]

He's okay. I keep sitting there thinking, how did he get here?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Cause this is a neighborhood that you really can't ride a bus to.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Nice neighborhood.

[D]

If somebody dropped you off, why would they drop you off? An address that you done. They can't find and why would they leave you there? And you just randomly walking down the street in this dark ass street and somebody come by in a Porsche with a helmet on. A motorcycle helmet. And you not running, man, get the out of here. Like, this is the stupid. Like, where. Okay. How you don't know where this girl stay at? You just randomly walking down the street.

[C]

That's a good point.

[D]

Who dropped you? Lyft?

[C]

Uber?

[D]

Who the drops you off. There's no bus stops over here.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You didn't take a cab.

[B]

Yeah, this is like.

[D]

I couldn't take. I Like, my mind is still on it.

[B]

Took you out.

[D]

How did you get here?

[B]

Took you out?

[D]

Yeah, somebody had to take. You were looking for this person and then this shit happens. Somebody in a car with a motorcycle helmet and you just like, okay, whatever, you know?

[B]

Yeah. That took you out. You never finished that.

[D]

I never. I never recovered. I was like, yeah, like this, right?

[B]

He.

[D]

Where's he going?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, you can't.

[D]

And you get off the phone with the person that you looking for and somebody's in a. Again, this.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay.

[D]

Soon as I see this fucking motorcycle helmet.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

You're done.

[C]

You're out.

[B]

Okay, tell me. Tell me this is you. This is you. Where are you? What are you doing right now?

[D]

First of all, I'm not there in the dark and don't know where the fuck.

[B]

Okay, but let's just suppose you were. You're lost.

[D]

Back this. Back this way.

[B]

Okay, full speed.

[D]

I'm not. First of all, I'm not.

[B]

Oh, you're running. You're running full speed.

[D]

He got a motorcycle helmet on inside of a Porsche.

[B]

Okay, okay, that's so. He's fucking nuts.

[E]

Scary, but also, you're right. At that point, it's like, call somebody.

[D]

That door open, you look.

[B]

I'll be running. I'll be running.

[E]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right, you're right.

[D]

You didn't hear him get out this car.

[B]

Yeah, you know what?

[C]

Asians.

[D]

And you got choked out.

[B]

You Asians would behave the same way you would. Yo, I. I'd be on a tree.

[D]

It's no way. And look how stiff his legs is going to get tossed in a porch by a weakling.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

I was done. I was done.

[B]

So if that was you, you'd be gone.

[D]

Cause I would not, bruh.

[B]

Okay, tell me.

[D]

It's a random place I've never been before.

[B]

Okay, I understand.

[D]

How am I getting there? You know what I'm saying? And I'm not being dropped off at the. The address that was given to me.

[B]

Right.

[D]

And once I get there and nobody's at that particular address, yo, I'm back in Uber. Like, I'm not even hitting the app. I'm calling the contact. Yo, I left my wallet. I'll pay. And I just get back in the car. I thought you left your wallet, man, take me the Away from him. I'm not doing none of this goofy.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

What?

[B]

Yeah, it's suspension of disbelief, though. You just have to in your mind go, okay, this is what's going on.

[D]

Hey, man. Yeah, I'm Be honest. And it's not even racist. That was some white guy in that movie. I probably would watch the whole thing. The fact that I'm black. That does not register in my mind. Okay, then somebody in a Porsche right up in a.

[B]

Don't watch Obsession then. Because it's like, there's a lot of things in there. I was like, what?

[D]

Because I wouldn't watch that movie. Soon as you. Soon I would have been watching that movie you talking about. And I'm like a news station.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

With all this streaming shit going on.

[B]

Yeah, Now.

[D]

Like right now. Right now.

[B]

Yeah, I'm cooked. Yeah. It's also. Here's what another thing is. And I'm already out. You're right. You're right. I'm already out.

[D]

I'm not.

[B]

I'm out. Even though I am going to a Larry David event after this.

[C]

So you're in.

[B]

So I'm kind of in.

[D]

Oh, you in?

[B]

Yeah, I'm kind of still in. Yeah, you're in.

[C]

So, yeah.

[B]

And he called me the other day, so. So, so, yeah. So maybe I'm in.

[A]

That's how.

[B]

Yeah. What you're saying is I'm out. Right. But maybe I'm in.

[D]

So this is how I know I, I, I can't stand and listen to or watch a story that it's not true. Bill Bellamy, friend of mine, he been here telling the story about Busta Rhymes and Coolio in concert. And I'm sitting there like this. I'm listening to this story.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And it is set in 1997.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And he's. And he's talking about how Coolio got this big hit and Busta Rhymes got these, got these bigger hits. And I'm sitting there listening to the story. I'm like, gangster spirit, this is 95. Why the fuck would Coolio be in doing his concert in 97? And then he's naming Busta Rhyme songs. And I'm like, pastor, if I say that didn't come out to, like, 2000, 2000. And I was like. And I called him like, don't nobody believe this bullshit ass story you telling. And then he called me like, I got too excited. I was telling the wrong song.

[B]

So you call and confront. I called him like, yo.

[D]

Like, yo, this story is not accurate.

[B]

Write down that for you. Call and confront. Yeah, yeah. Like what I did. You missed a story before you got here, right? I want you to see if you. I was at the Comedy Store parking lot.

[C]

Oh, my fucking God.

[B]

Okay. He was a Locke guy at the Comedy Store parking car, right? Okay. I backed into a comics car, dented it.

[C]

Allegedly.

[B]

Allegedly. Right.

[E]

Allegedly. Thought it was a dumpster.

[F]

He hit.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just drove off into the night.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. I get a call later, right? He's a lockeye, right? The manager of the club is. We have the tape. Okay? And he goes. And also, a couple of people told me they saw it and they ratted you out. And I had to find the rats. Okay? But he would, he wouldn't tell me the rats, but he Was the. He was the lot guy. So he knew who the rats were. So I called him, and he's my boy. He opens for me. So I go, tell me who ratted me out. And I got the names on the

[C]

list, but it wasn't for me. It was. I know I'm not a rat, Ali. Let me tell you. I. I Stan. I keep it. But also, I'm loyal. I'm not a rat, but I'm loyal. Yeah. I don't know what's a better.

[D]

The whole thing here is why didn't Bobby pay for the person's car?

[C]

Why did he drive away?

[D]

That's already trying to get away with a crime. Yeah.

[B]

That's not a crime.

[D]

It is a crime.

[B]

That's not a crime.

[D]

It's something.

[B]

What. It's not good. It's not bad either.

[C]

You're the winners. It's a.

[D]

If you come out and your car is dented, I.

[B]

Okay, ask her. Yeah, ask her.

[E]

He's ran me over. What did he want to ask?

[B]

He was gonna. Yeah, he's gonna ask, right. If I came out to my car.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was dented, what would I do?

[E]

So he always keeps a big wad of cash for exactly this scenario. He's like, I don't want to do paperwork. I don't want to deal with insurance. Here's money. Money, money.

[B]

No, but what I'm saying is, is that if my car was crashed.

[E]

Oh, he'd be like, no problem. Bye.

[B]

No problem.

[C]

Bye.

[E]

Tell you a story.

[B]

Your car that you got. No problem. Let me tell you. No problem.

[D]

Because you keep a big wallet of cash.

[C]

Yes. And you got your car for free from Hyundai.

[E]

That's true. But also, one time. So he. His car broke down.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

It's the other pieces. You got your car for free.

[B]

I don't.

[D]

I wouldn't give a. If I came out, the bump. Car was craz.

[E]

For free.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

I would give a damn what kind of car it was. So my. My. My G Wagon, somebody came out. They. They bust the. Like with spark plugs, trying to break into the glass. Oh. You know what I'm saying? And you know.

[B]

Wait, wait. Explain again.

[D]

The. My G Wagon.

[B]

What's a G Wagon?

[E]

It's a Mercedes.

[B]

That's good. It's a good car. It's a good car. I drive a Blue. A Bluey. A Bluey.

[D]

I drive a Bluey.

[B]

Have a Bluey.

[D]

My daughter would love your Bluey.

[B]

Yeah, I have a Bluey. Hyundai. Free car. Anyway, so I don't know what A G wagon is.

[D]

You got it for free?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Who gave it to you?

[E]

Hyundai.

[B]

Hyundai.

[D]

You give me a car?

[B]

No, you're not Korean.

[D]

You're not. Oh, that's some racist shit. You don't know if I'm Korean down the line.

[B]

That's what I drive. It's the parking lot.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I. If somebody bumped it.

[B]

Oh, that's a G wagon. Beautiful car. All right, so tell me the story.

[C]

Now.

[D]

Somebody busted windows and trying to get into it with.

[B]

But when you do this, you're like throwing darts.

[D]

Spark plugs. They let. Throwing. Doing the spark plug, trying to get into it. And these ones, like, bulletproof type. And they. They bust. Cracked them. And I wasn't even mad, but I just got that windshield fixed. But now it's the windshield, and it's the passenger, the driver's side and the back. Driver's side. And I was like, I got insurance. But if I came out and somebody bumped it and just drove off, I would be a little tighter. See, I know they motive was to break in. I'm saying. Okay, the motive was you backed into my shit.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And just left.

[C]

But so picture this. You come out, you come to the Comedy Store, you do a set. You're having a good night. You park your gwac in there, you come out, it's bumped, indented. And then someone goes up to you and goes, yeah, it was Bobby Lee. He left. What is your reaction?

[D]

I'm gonna be up here.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Wait. Be up here. And what? Cause you got with Andre.

[D]

I know. Yeah, definitely with Andre.

[B]

What is Andre gonna do?

[D]

You know what I'm saying? You got a water cash? You know what I'm saying? Yo, we gonna get that out you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

You gotta.

[C]

I don't think so.

[B]

You don't get nothing. What You. Are you crazy? I'll tell you why. You. You get nothing.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Right? Because you're doing well.

[D]

I came to your house. Oh, because I'm doing well. Hey, Ali. You're doing well.

[C]

20 million views on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I saw your YouTube numbers. I know what that is. So what I'm saying is, is that it's.

[F]

It's.

[E]

It's.

[B]

Look at me right now, dad. Okay, we have origin story.

[D]

Okay, I. I think I. I think I would walk off, Bobby, if you told me, hey, you're doing well. Get the fuck out of my driveway. I bumped your car. You're doing well. And I would just walk. I'm like, dre, come on. Cause this shit don't even make no fucking sense. Bobby is actually fucking crazy.

[B]

I'm not crazy. That's what I believe.

[D]

He just told me I was doing well, said this didn't matter.

[B]

It doesn't matter. Cause it's nothing to you.

[E]

I see. Okay, so you're saying if you make. What's the minimum, someone has to make a year for you to be like, I'm not gonna pay for the bill.

[B]

Okay, the minimum amount, yeah.

[E]

Like, let's say someone makes half a million a year. You're like, you know, I don't.

[B]

Oh, no. No pay. No pay. No pay, no pain.

[C]

Oh, no, no. No pay, no pain.

[B]

100, 000.

[C]

No pay, no.

[E]

Ah, okay.

[B]

No. Average American, like, double income. 150.

[E]

Yeah, 150 is, like, barely making it still in LA, but 200, then.

[B]

200. Let's. Let's make a price 250. I'll go as far as that. That if you're doing less than 250, I will do.

[D]

I'll pay you.

[B]

I'll pay you back.

[C]

It's a nightmare.

[D]

If you doing crazy.

[B]

It's not crazy.

[D]

Like, yo, no, yeah, you making 300. But how would you even determine this? Like, yo, he's typing it on the calculator, making $300,000.

[B]

No, here's what happened. I was on Ventura, right? And a man literally goes into my lane, bones me, right? We pull it to the side. I'm like, I mean, you, obviously. He goes, I didn't see you, man. And I go, okay. And I go, I know, but, you know, I mean, you were at fault because I was in my lane. Yeah, but we need to. We need to call the cops, man. Right? And I had shit to do, so I gave him money

[E]

to get out.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I go, here's 400 bucks, right? I don't want to. I don't care. Let's just move on.

[E]

That's exactly what he does.

[C]

How did this not happen on the night that you were there? Why not pull out the wad of cash and go, look, whatever, Here, here's the money?

[B]

Because I didn't think there was cameras and rats, dude. It's not even.

[C]

It's not even a cameras thing. You're the worst criminal ever. There's a huge dent in the car. So obviously someone's gonna come out and be like, hey, so someone dented my car?

[E]

Was there a dent in your car?

[C]

People are immediately gonna.

[B]

I don't even. I didn't even.

[C]

Look, that's why you're the Number one suspect anytime.

[D]

Yeah, I think, I think they would have never ratted you out of somebody if you would have put cash like 400, taped it next to the bump.

[B]

Oh, I see.

[D]

You know.

[B]

Yeah, I see. Yeah, maybe I should have done that,

[E]

cuz one time I didn't have any tape though.

[D]

You tried to get. You tried to get away with the crime.

[B]

Yeah. It's not a crime, dude. It's not a crime.

[D]

I'm trying to get you to prison.

[E]

I haven't met but one time, I remember Enterprise put out a. I think you were almost gonna get caught for like theft because you didn't return the rental car for a year.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And then it was my phone number that he listed.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

So I was getting the call.

[C]

I remember that.

[E]

And I was like, you know guys, I don't know how to explain this, but just charge him and he'll pay for it. But he definitely. But yeah, you have to come back. And we have. We have to know that the car is still in his possession. I was like, he's not coming. So just.

[B]

I eventually did.

[E]

I remember you paid.

[B]

Maybe they came. I don't remember.

[E]

It took a long time. And then the other time his car broke down off the side of Kanga and he was just like. I was like, hey, I have aaa. I. He called me, he's like, oh, my car broke down. I was like, it's okay, I have aaa. It's on its way to you. Like no, I'm just gonna leave it there.

[B]

Oh my God.

[E]

And then he just left his car there.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No pay, no pain.

[E]

No pain, nothing. They never got it back.

[B]

I don't never got back.

[D]

You know, you never got. Know something. I see what this is.

[E]

I wasn't even rich at that time.

[B]

I did this behavior. I did this behavior when I had no money. Oh my God. This has been instilled my parents fault.

[D]

You have affluenza.

[B]

What's affluenza?

[F]

I like that.

[B]

What is affluenza mean?

[C]

I like that.

[B]

What does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean?

[D]

Affluent, like.

[B]

No, no, no, that's not true. That's not true. Okay, like.

[D]

Like in. In life. You rich in your life.

[B]

No, that's not true.

[D]

Like you not. Not just monetarily rich. You're rich in your life where you don't have to. You don't give a shit about.

[B]

I'll go to prison.

[D]

I see.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Bobby, do you understand? They would have sent a SWAT team to get that goddamn car from me. If I would have had their car, If I would have had that car three days over the times I would've had a car, it'd be a fucking SWAT team at my house. You had a car for a year.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay.

[D]

You done painted it. You started taking care of this car.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I mad at it.

[D]

You was getting all changes and shit.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

You taking a car that you. That didn't belong to you to get oil changes. Like, yo.

[B]

But affluenza is not the right.

[E]

It's honestly, like extreme adhd. He just doesn't want to deal with.

[B]

I don't want to deal with it.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

So what I used to do is, you know, I've said this before, even as a young kid, I would get parking tickets, and I would just not take them out. I would have just in a row on my. You know what I mean? The wiper, right? And I do what? I would do a contest where I would speed up to see if one of them would fly into the air on the freeway. It was like a game I play with myself, right? And then all of a sudden, like, you know what I mean? My parents would call, you know, I mean, and I go, what'd you say?

[D]

They called police.

[B]

Your money. And I go, pay bit. You gotta pay it. I have no money.

[D]

You know what I mean? Talk about it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

This is affluent. Cause you like. Even though it's not your money, you like, yo, do you not. I can imagine in my mind getting a ticket and they calling my mom, and I'm telling my mom, we'll pay it.

[B]

I'll tell you in 2008.

[D]

What did you say?

[E]

Right?

[D]

That's what you asked your dad.

[B]

What? What going on? What going on? I don't know what, you know, Portes everything, you know? And then you're like, you just got to have to pay it, dad. Here's another thing I did in 2009. None of my shit worked. Like, my cards or anything. And I never paid taxes my whole life. I didn't know you had to.

[E]

Yeah, that's correct.

[B]

You know, I mean, like, people go, it's tax year, right? And I'd be like, I don't know how to do that. Right. So I just never did it.

[D]

Last year, everything caught up. And my tax bill was crazy.

[B]

I know.

[D]

Just know that you would tell me, no pay.

[B]

You no pay. No pay, no pay. And I had to get a guy to help me because it was like, I owed so much money. I want to be able to pick where My tax money goes ballistic. Missile. Nah, you know what I mean. Infrastructure in our country.

[D]

I could dig that.

[B]

What?

[D]

I could dig that.

[B]

I think we should pick, like, parks. Oh, yeah. I like swings. Yeah. I mean, bridges. Yeah. Okay. But our money is being spent in aiding things that I don't want it

[D]

going to UFC at the White House.

[C]

I know.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. But, you know, so you have your special that you're pushing. My father.

[C]

Daddy.

[D]

What is my father, Daddy.

[B]

What's it called?

[D]

No, it's called My Father. My Father came out Sunday.

[B]

It came out Sunday?

[D]

Yeah. Why do you have a keyboard in front of you?

[B]

Oh, because for ads, I. I play a little music.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I just wondered why nobody else had a keyboard instrument.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I was like, this is a band podcast.

[B]

No, no. Sometimes I've broken in the song, but I didn't feel like that today.

[E]

What was your relationship with your father?

[D]

Oh, it's on all in the special. I. It was up and down. You know, like I say, he. You know, he wasn't ideal, but he was my.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So that's. That's the key thing. You know, I. I did as much as I could with him, as much as I could form, and, you know, I. I am the way I am because of him. Because that's the first person that told me. I'd never say the energy that you put in for someone else, you can put that energy in for yourself. So I. I was always independent.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Through everything. I don't really have.

[C]

I had.

[D]

I didn't have that many jobs, you know, unless I was getting a job to learn something. Something.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, then I was out. You know, my. My daughter, she's a chef, and she only worked certain places to learn how to do that part of the business. You know, Then she was back onto her own thing. Yeah.

[E]

Did your relationship with your dad, like, how did that inform how, like, you parent your kids?

[D]

Oh, I'm. I'm a great dad because of how absent my pops was. You know, I didn't want them to feel that. That. So I'm. I'm at everything with my kids.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

See, that's the same reason I never had any, because of my relationship with my dad and my mom. I was just like, I ain't doing this. I'm not gonna put my kid through the same kind of trauma you mean that I went through.

[D]

But you don't have to.

[B]

I know that. I mean, I. There's two ways to do it. Right. The way you did it was you change? You know, and I decided not to do it because I feel like I would accidentally traumatize them. I would never do that to my kid. I would never even, you know, I would go, how do you feel today?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Express to me what people say, what

[D]

they wouldn't do when they don't have em.

[B]

Good point. She has children.

[D]

The next thing you know you throwing a flip flop. Like, it's like, yo, man, you can say what you want to do, but he can say what's not. You know, I am, I, I've, I've been, you know, I have older kids and then I have young kids. So my, my 32 year old and my 27 y old, they, they'll say, well, he was, he has calmed down a lot. Ah. You know, but that's from experience apparent. And then the things that was done, like it warranted me to be crazy at certain points. Cause then it never happened again. If I was like, oh, you know, whatever, whatever, then it probably would have happened again. But after I zoned out. Cause they never seen me zone out. You know what I'm saying? They would hear about, oh, how your father was in the streets, but they never saw it. And then you would do something and I'm like, what'd you just do? Yeah, no, I know that's not what you did. And then you can't act nonchalant, like you don't give a damn about what I'm saying. Oh, okay. I bet we not gonna go down this road again. And then they would see me zone out. They were like, okay, I see that he is not wrapped as tight as he appears. And so now I have my youngest daughter.

[B]

How old is she?

[D]

Five.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

And she literally gets away with murder. It's like, this is me talking to her, like she in trouble. Then I gotta talk to her. I'm like, hey, let me talk to you real quick, man, why you do that? Don't be doing that now. I'm tickling us. He go from a sad face to a very mischievous laugh. Like, like. And this is the thing that I would see on YouTube. No, it'll be on Instagram or YouTube, whatever is on that. This mothers would be fussing at they, at their daughters. And then it was his father, his mother, he's got into a fight. The girl got into fight at school and the mother's going off and he's like, yo, you better handle it, you better handle it. It. So he went in the room, he closed the door and he took off his Belt. But he was whooping the bed, and the girl, the daughter was like, ah. What you do after that? Yeah, I punched her right in the nose. And it's like, yo, man. I'm like, dude, this is so me. Because I don't have the same. I don't have. One, I don't have the same energy. And two, it's not as just life threatening. It's like how you feel about taking a rental car back. I'm like, hey, man, it's whatever, but just don't do that no more. Cause I don't want to have to. I don't. Just don't get me in trouble.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And that's the. That's the thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I got. I got one question. How long you been a lot alive? No, a lot. A lot. Person attending a lot. Oh.

[C]

I mean, ever since I started. I probably worked there almost two years now. A year and a half.

[D]

Did you see my name on the. On the wall while you in the parking lot? Because it's right. Like, right.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

You seen his name on the wall? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you mad about the name placement there or.

[D]

No, no, I. It didn't matter.

[B]

It doesn't matter. Okay.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Some people complain. Why do I gotta be, you know,

[E]

can you choose ever?

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[D]

So there's no need to complain. And if you can't choose, you can't choose shoes. Yeah, but. Because they chose you to get on the wall and they did a little barbecue for you out there, and they did all that stuff, and they. They painted you where they painted you.

[B]

What year was that?

[D]

22. No, 23.

[B]

23. Yeah. Wow. Did E get pass you or Emily?

[D]

Who?

[B]

The. Whoever made you a paid regular. Who was it?

[D]

I forget.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I think it was.

[B]

Was it a lady or a man? Man, it was at probably. Adam. You get. Yeah, yeah. You get past you. Wow. Yeah. I've never seen your name on the wall.

[D]

Yeah. Because you. You pop. Because when you in the parking lot, you're bumping.

[C]

Not very aware of what's going on.

[D]

And scurrying out the parking lot.

[B]

Yeah. All right. Check, check. Alisa Deeds, my father on YouTube. Let me tell you something, man. This shit's the future. You know, I. You know, I. You know, I do.

[D]

I have an OnlyFans. Is that an OnlyFans thing?

[C]

No, that's TikTok. Oh, that's TikTok.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

I'm like, OnlyFans.

[D]

Goddamn OnlyFans.

[B]

What would you show on OnlyFans?

[D]

Nothing. I wouldn't be on there. I'd be on there showing pictures of my ladies, like, yeah, I wanna

[B]

tour date. San Antonio, Majestic Theater. We got Corpus Christi. I haven't played Corpus in 20 years. Man.

[D]

Oh, man. Let me tell you something.

[B]

Tell me about corporate.

[D]

I struggle in Corpus. Like, this is the only place on it. Like we. Most of these shows before this, we added shows, added theater shows, just doubling up, added arena shows. Corpus. I probably got 400 tickets sold in Corpus is a big ass. It's like Corpus. Don't with me.

[B]

It's not a personal thing.

[D]

I know. It's like it's a fishing town and like, yo, these so in bad. Yes.

[B]

I mean, Corpus is. I have. I have friends that are sellout headliners that are struggling to sell tickets because of the economy we're in.

[D]

No, I'm only struggling in Corpus. No, that's Corpus.

[B]

I. I know, but world of Corpus has things going on in their economy.

[D]

In Corpus. God damn.

[B]

Okay. You're selling out everywhere.

[D]

Yeah, but Corpus is like. Corpus is fucking lowering my self esteem,

[B]

dude. I'm telling you right now. I played Atlantic City. He's got Atlantic City too. I played Atlantic City. Not there. Somewhere else. And I, for the first time in my life, was shell shocked.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

He wanted to die.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

I literally was gonna kill myself that night.

[D]

Come on.

[B]

No. Yeah. What? I had maybe. I sold maybe a thousand tickets.

[C]

There's a lot of people. It was so massive. They even blocked off the entire.

[B]

You know how they put the drapes

[D]

and the different walls? With me, it's thousand people. And that's whether it's what you normally do, you know what I'm saying? But it's still a thousand people.

[C]

It's a lot of people.

[D]

You know what I'm saying? That's a lot of people. You know, Corpus Christi is 2,600 people. It's a 2,600 thing. It's going to be 400 people.

[B]

Okay, okay. Mine was a 3,000 seat venue.

[D]

And you got a thousand?

[B]

Yeah. You have 400 and how many? 2,520.

[D]

500.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

That's way.

[B]

What is it? What is it? What's the date?

[D]

Just think June 2020. I just did in Baltimore. I was at an arena that we sold out twice. Memphis. We sold out the Orpheum three nights.

[B]

Cancel it. That's what I feel. Cancel.

[D]

I can't. I gotta crack the code on Corpus.

[B]

There's no code in Corpus.

[C]

There's no code.

[B]

All right. Just can't. That's what I do I call my people? Two weeks in, I go, what's the percentage? And they go, it's this. I go, I'm out.

[D]

I'm like, yo, I'm bringing mullet to Corpus Christi. Man out fishing tackles. I'm like, yo, something gonna have to happen.

[B]

All right, give Ollie a round of applause, everybody.

[C]

Hey, I'm Andrew Santino.

[B]

And I'm Bobby Lee.

[C]

And we made something completely insane.

[B]

We took celebrities, we put them in

[C]

my mom's basement, we throw trivia at them, we hit them with absurd challenges. And then, just when they think they know what's happening, we blow the whole thing apart.

[B]

Nobody knows the rules. We barely know the rules.

[F]

It's chaos.

[C]

It's comedy. It's the Bad Game Show. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

[B]

Watch on the Bad Friends YouTube channel

[C]

or on the Bad Game show feed on Spotify Video. Follow, subscribe, watch, share, play along, have fun.