Gen Alpha Breaks Bobby Lee

Summary

TigerBelly Podcast Summary

Episode Title: Gen Alpha Breaks Bobby Lee
Host: All Things Comedy
Air Date: March 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of TigerBelly is a lively, meandering conversation centering on generational gaps, evolving slang, music tastes, family dynamics, and the quirks of contemporary life—all refracted through Bobby Lee’s uniquely chaotic comedic lens. Bobby, Khalyla, Gilbert, and their extended TigerBelly family riff on everything from VR zombie games and Bobby's disastrous comedy cruise, to Gen Alpha slang, intra-Asian racism, and the challenge of simple human connection (like going for coffee as a family). There’s a recurring theme of Bobby feeling “cooked” by the younger generation and a running gag about his moodiness (“eggshell day”). Underneath the laughter, the episode touches on loneliness, personal growth, and the weirdness of pop culture in 2026.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Music Tastes Across Generations

• Teasing Alex’s Haircut: Bobby jokes that Alex’s blonde cut resembles Megan Rapinoe’s (01:02), while the group debates the edge of alternative fashion.
• Dashboard Confessional vs. The Beatles: Alex gets ribbed for trying to get into the Beatles as a Gen Alpha, with Khalyla using her own child’s preference to defend the classics (02:45).

  "When I play both Linkin Park and the Beatles to my child, who's so pure and innocent, he is obsessed with the Beatles. So I know... there's something more than just taste..." – Khalyla (02:51)

• Confession: Khalyla admits to seeing Kid Rock in concert five times—a secret she can barely justify (04:33).

2. VR Zombie Game (Sandbox) Misadventures

• The gang shares their VR experience, with comically low zombie kill counts and accidental injuries (08:00).

  "She killed two or three." – Bobby (08:10) "I headbutted her right in the face." – Bobby (08:21)

3. Bobby’s Comedy Cruise Experience

• Bobby details the cruise: luxury "Haven" suites, bad food, mobbed by fans, and two very different shows—one a triumph, the second a disaster as he unwittingly repeats his set (59:30–65:57).

  "The first show I did at this theater, I fucking crushed... The second show I did was the worst show I've ever done... It was the same exact people." – Bobby (63:24–63:57)

• Nick Swardson’s attempts to order raw scallops get roasted (58:33).
• The group debates whether cruises would work for TigerBelly or Bad Friends shows; Khalyla is strongly anti-cruise (67:24–67:51).

4. Generational Slang: Gen Alpha, Gen Z, and Beyond

• Gen Alpha & Z terms: The group tries to decipher and compete over new slang like “cook,” “let him cook,” “bet,” “brain rot,” “skibidi,” “Ohio,” and “Sigma” (43:37–54:56).

  "Cook has two meanings for their generation. Because it could be like, 'we're cooked' or 'let her cook'." – Khalyla (42:37) "I've never used 'cook' in that way... No one's ever said, 'Let him cook'." – Bobby (43:34–44:01)

• Arguments over who “owns” certain words, with Bobby defending Gen X origins for “as if,” “tubular,” “chill pill,” and “dude” (52:21–54:50).

5. Asian Colorism & K-Pop Sibling Drama

• The group discusses a Malaysian Day6 concert—how a Korean fan started a cross-Asian Twitter flame war by using a racist slur, exposing deep-seated colorism and anti-Southeast Asian bias in East Asian communities (24:22–33:12).

  "Us Koreans really do think Filipinos are at the bottom of the barrel. And he said that with his whole chest. And then he laughed." – Khalyla (30:18) "I've always thought that we were all one. You know what I mean? I don't know who came up with these crazy terminologies..." – Bobby (31:20)

6. Family Dynamics: Invitations, Sibling Bonds, and Growth

• The group grapples with why it’s hard to get family members to do things together, especially Bobby and Khalyla (39:44–41:11).
• Discussion on planning joint outings, the awkwardness of inviting each other, and personal growth milestones (like Bobby making his own dinner reservations!) (77:11–78:24).

7. Mental Health, Medication, and Generational Coping

• Bobby and Khalyla discuss Lexapro, boredom, and conscious efforts to practice “doing nothing” (69:43–70:54).

  "I just sit there for a half an hour or an hour...just thinking how horrible my life is... But you know, I'm trying not to do that." – Bobby (69:55–70:14)

• The struggle to exist without constant stimulation, reaching for the phone, and learning to self-soothe.

8. Pop Culture: Plastic Surgery & Celebrity Clones

• Brief debate on rumors that Jim Carrey and other celebrities are secretly "clones" due to their changed appearances, with a lazier acceptance that aging and surgery are more plausible (74:16–76:10).

9. Gen Alpha “Breaks” Bobby Lee: The Language Gap

• Bobby repeatedly declares he’s “cooked” by the younger generation’s memes and logic, most notably when they try to explain “6, 7” and other opaque viral trends (44:35–45:17).

  "We're doomed with the generation. Yeah, we're cooked." – Bobby (45:19)

10. Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Bobby’s Mood: The mood of the episode—Bobby’s “eggshell day”—is a recurring meta-joke. Everyone gingerly navigates his unpredictable energy (10:43, 14:04).
• Meta-podcast Moves: The crew satirizes segues and podcast professionalism, practicing their transitions live (16:17–23:16).
• Cruise Headliner Disaster: “Three minutes in, I had to stop my act. I said to the audience, ‘I'm just gonna keep doing the jokes.’ Everyone’s like, okay.” – Bobby (65:15)

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On generational differences:

  "When Bobby wakes up a certain way, it's like, oh, it's eggshell day. And we know to just, like, keep out of your..." – Khalyla (10:44)

• On Asian colorism:

  "We are technically the term...the darker Asians. We are jungle. Yeah. We live in a rainforest." – Khalyla (28:23)

  "I've always thought that we were all one... I don't know who came up with these crazy terminologies..." – Bobby (31:20)

• On VR zombie game scores:

  "Two kills, 47% accuracy...Four shots." – Bobby (08:10)

• Bobby on solo time & boredom:

  "I just sit there for a half an hour or an hour...just thinking how horrible my life is." – Bobby (69:55)

• Bobby breaking from Gen Alpha slang:

  "We're doomed with the generation. Yeah, we're cooked." (45:19)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:02–02:45: Haircuts, music tastes, Gen Alpha/Gen Z vs. classics
• 04:33–05:25: Khalyla's Kid Rock confession
• 06:01–09:11: VR Sandbox/zombie game recap
• 24:22–33:12: K-pop sibling drama and Asian colorism/racism
• 39:10–41:11: Why it's so hard to hang out as a family
• 43:37–54:56: Gen Alpha, Z, and X slang debate—"cook," "let him cook," "brain rot," and more
• 59:30–65:57: Bobby’s cruise story: high and low points, disastrous second show
• 69:43–71:13: Can anyone just be bored? Practicing “doing nothing”
• 74:16–76:10: Jim Carrey, facelifts, and celebrity "clone" rumors

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Final Takeaways

• TigerBelly at its core remains a free-form, highly personal show—one part family roast, one part cultural commentary, one part existential therapy.
• The generational divide is both a source of comic gold and genuine confusion, with Bobby alternately bewildered and impressed by Gen Alpha/Gen Z.
• The episode succeeds when its humor illuminates real vulnerability: the loneliness of adulthood, the challenge of growing up (at any age), and the weird work of family love.
• Bobby's ability to bomb—on stage, or at family meals—is both tragic and comic, and the young folks threaten to break him with their lingo.
• Underneath, there’s a sense of grudging respect between eras—everyone, from teens to 54-year-old comics, is just trying to connect.

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This summary captures the heart, humor, and human messiness of TigerBelly’s March 2026 episode. Ideal for listeners seeking the best moments without wading through every tangent.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, everybody, Bobby Lee here. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Hi, hi, hi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Bobby Lee the Finally tour is up for sale 2026. You know, I shot a special for Hulu and I'm going to go one strong tour before the special airs. I'll be in Detroit, Indianapolis, Montclair, Atlantic City, Medford, San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, et cetera, et cetera. Go to Bobbylee Live to get your tickets.

[B]

I'll be there, too.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Cats opening and also Ramsey Badawi. No one cares.

[C]

But anyway, can I come to some?

[A]

You can come to some. Hey, alex.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Here we go. Hey, alex. Megan rapino called. She wants her haircut back. He doesn't even know who that is. I.

[B]

Is it Rapinoe?

[A]

I think it's that. It's Rapino.

[C]

Rapino.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She wants her haircut back, dude. What are you, a lesbian soccer player? What is going on with you today, dude? What's going on? Is that the new fashion? Jesus Christ.

[B]

I like it.

[C]

Yeah, I like it, too.

[A]

Yeah, no, no, you gotta. You gotta change it to normal, dude, because it looks ridiculous. Anyway. What? Are you gonna go to Little fair next weekend? Big Katie Lang fan. Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I love Katie Lang. Yeah, yeah, because I kind of.

[A]

That's all you, dude. I should do the teal. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know, Alex, she is pretty badass. So just, you know.

[A]

She's badass, dude.

[B]

Yeah, it's not. It's not a dis.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, no, the one. The one that. The sucky give. The blonde one right there. There you go.

[C]

I mean, that's out.

[A]

But to me, that was sick. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, did. Did you watch, like, a movie and when. That's the thing.

[C]

It was inspiration.

[A]

Was it like Blade Runner or something or.

[C]

Well, I've been had. My.

[A]

You saw Rutger Howard? You're like, for what?

[C]

I had my hair blonde before. Like, even when we were playing Warzone together.

[A]

Oh, you did?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You never. You never bleached your hair, like, colored your hair ever?

[A]

Not as a human adult, no.

[B]

Oh, you have virgin hair.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You know, when I was 12 and I was rebellious and cutting myself and mean. Listen to sad songs. I would like. Yeah, that's a Dashboard Confessional haircut.

[C]

Dashboard.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. He's going through sad times.

[B]

You know what? I'm. I'm. I'm scared Alex is going to be like, you know, dashboard's better than the Beatles.

[A]

He's gonna say something crazy like that.

[C]

I've been Trying to get into the Beatles, bro.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, that's what this is all about.

[B]

Can I. I. Here's why I know you're absolutely wrong.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

After defending you initially, is because your haircut, when I. When I play both Linkin park and the Beatles to my child, who's so pure and innocent, he is obsessed with the Beatles. So I know that there is something more to just taste. It's more like a. A visceral reaction to this type of music from a very pure soul. So I think that. But maybe. I don't know.

[A]

Interesting. Yeah, well, good point, Kalila. And thank you so much for sharing.

[B]

That's my gauge for everything. If my kid likes it, it's got to be good.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What Lincoln park song?

[A]

They all just sound the same. Does it matter? Tomorrow's yesterday.

[B]

And I thought, okay, well, maybe it's a little bit too, like, loud for him. But he loves loud stuff. Like, he loves Bad Bunny.

[D]

Like George of the Jungle.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Now, did you. Did you play. Did you play any Kid Rock for your son?

[B]

I want to try it tonight.

[A]

Yeah, try it tonight.

[B]

Can I give you guys. There's something you. You don't know about me that I really have a hard time confessing. And I wish I'd never had to confess it, but I have to now.

[A]

Can we guess?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Something about you. Is it physical?

[B]

No. It has to do with.

[C]

Why did you go there?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Yeah, I feel like there's some physical things happening.

[C]

He has a thought about something. Ph Now.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It's probably one of the worst confessions I'll ever make.

[A]

It's a personality trait.

[B]

It could. Yes, it had tied to.

[A]

I know which. I know what it is. You're a

[C]

British accent today.

[B]

Wait, that's not new. That's not new.

[A]

That's a new.

[B]

Okay, you're a. I think I might have said it on a podcast before, but I have gone five times. To see Kid Rock in your life? In my life. Like 2000s when I was living in Vegas. I think it was the Vegas air. And then one time here at the

[A]

Gibson Amphitheater, you paid actual American money.

[B]

Money?

[A]

That's insane.

[C]

Hey, that first album was good.

[A]

Oh, my God. Are you gonna fucking start today? Since you've been in the building, dude, you found Riled my guts.

[C]

That song is Bob.

[B]

Okay, so the one where it's, like,

[A]

red on the front.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

That's because, like, it was the second album my mom used, like, her hard earned American Dollars to buy. It was like Limp Bizkit and that. And so I have a nost for him, even though I obviously think he's like a fucking weirdo. I went to see him five times, guys.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Can you cut the part? I said row my guts.

[B]

That makes no sense.

[A]

You riled my guts once I said it. I have been thinking about that the whole time.

[B]

It does make sense.

[A]

Can you cut that part out? It does make no sense.

[D]

It does.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. That riled my guts.

[C]

George.

[A]

George. Hello? So last night I had a difficult time sleeping because my ears were bleeding. Yeah, from both ears. No, they were not just vibrating. Bleeding.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You know why? No. From them screaming in my ears with VR.

[B]

That's.

[D]

That's.

[A]

Yeah, we went to sandbox.

[B]

Oh, the zombie.

[A]

Yeah, these two last night.

[C]

What did you guys think? I love grieving

[A]

in all both ears. It was insane.

[C]

Did you do the zombie? Which one?

[A]

The one we did.

[D]

Zombie.

[B]

Wait, what's it like? Like, can you paint the picture for me?

[A]

When you paint the picture, I don't know.

[B]

What is it? Just VR zombies.

[D]

The zombies itself. Like, you can tell that. Oh, you know they're fake, but you feel really immersed in the entire world.

[B]

That would freak me out. I know.

[A]

Screaming.

[D]

I mean, if you scare. It was just her. I promise you, it was just her.

[B]

Was it your first time?

[A]

Wait, wait, let's take that. Was that your first time? Eh? Are you trying to roll my guts right now? D. I think it was time.

[B]

As I was saying it, another thought came in and, like, intercepted.

[A]

I know. What was the word you're trying to say?

[B]

I. I think it was a mix of time and Jaime.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where is Jaime? Time.

[B]

Wait, the first time you went though, were you screaming like them?

[A]

I was with Gilbert. The first time we were screaming in Las Vegas. Yeah, we did scream. We did.

[C]

So sad. Just two older guys by themselves.

[A]

Yeah, midnight and midnight. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, they were screaming and it was pretty fun. Who took first?

[D]

You had a laser? Yeah. And your accuracy was 47.

[B]

40 was higher.

[A]

48.

[B]

No, 47. 51.

[C]

Did you do shotgun? Shotgun or what? What did you do?

[D]

Pistol?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Double.

[B]

No, it was just one.

[A]

How many did you kill?

[B]

That's unfair.

[A]

You had a laser. How many?

[B]

You had a laser.

[A]

Who cares if it's accurate? Death is the most important. Am I not Richard? True, true. Yeah. Why? Because I didn't get their eyeball?

[C]

No.

[A]

Let me say something right. How many kills did you get?

[D]

Like 40?

[A]

Yeah. How many did I get?

[D]

98.

[A]

No, 160. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

I got the.

[B]

She got last.

[A]

She killed two or three.

[D]

I got like a couple below her.

[A]

You weren't.

[D]

Yes, I was.

[A]

It was a disaster. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

[D]

You even bumped into me.

[A]

I headbutted her right in the face.

[B]

You just went straight to my face.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, I'm so sorry, Issa. I'm so sorry. Like that. Right in her face. Yeah, but she had. So. Issa. First time, two kills is fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was your accuracy, Issa?

[D]

47.

[A]

Yeah, 47. There we go.

[B]

Pretty good.

[A]

Two kills. 40. 47.

[C]

Four shots.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So she killed one zombie in the head.

[B]

That's pre.

[A]

That's pretty good. You've never done it.

[B]

Never. I wonder how I do it.

[C]

So you might hate it. Dude.

[B]

Anxious for.

[A]

If I told you, she would be sweating.

[C]

You'd be sweating.

[B]

Sweating. But then I would still perform, you know?

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

That's what I thought. Yeah.

[B]

Cuz it's like I.

[A]

That's what you thought and then what happened?

[D]

No, I thought that she would, like, get really anxious and sweaty, but I thought that she would get like a lot of.

[B]

So competitive.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I see. I don't know. I mean, it's. It's different when you're in the business. When you're in it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. When you're in it. Yeah. That was a fun time that we had, you know, and then. What else is going on? Why do I always have to be the one? No, let me just say something. Okay. May I?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm tired of being the captain. I think I need to retire.

[C]

Oh, we have two new recruits.

[B]

Let's leave it to the girl.

[C]

We have two new recruits.

[A]

Being the captain of this ship is tiresome. It's lonely and there's just not a lot to say sometimes.

[B]

Sink the ship.

[A]

I'm gonna sink it now. Good night, everybody.

[E]

Wait, but you were recently on a ship, right?

[A]

Shut the fuck up. That's not a good segue, dude.

[C]

You're recently on a cruise, right?

[A]

Segue. Right. Oh, by the way. Yeah, don't do that. You gotta do it organically.

[B]

You just said you needed help, and then George came to help and you just shit on him. This is why no one wants to.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. When I ask for help, who do you think I want help from?

[B]

Me.

[A]

Exactly. Anybody but me. Anybody but me. Do I want Georgia? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, you know, I'd rather have Megan Rapino's Help. Well, anyway.

[B]

Well, I have. I have topics. I bring topics to the table. I feel as though you're not going to like what I'm going to talk about.

[A]

I may not say anything.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Because I'm in that kind of mood today.

[B]

Oh, you're so. So antagonistic today, I'm afraid.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because you know this mood, right?

[A]

How am I. How am I antagonistic today?

[B]

We all look at each other when Bobby wakes up a certain way, and it's like, oh, it's eggshell day. Yeah. And we know to just, like, keep out of your.

[C]

How do you know if it's eggshell day?

[A]

Eggshell day.

[B]

Oh, it's the way you came down and then, you know, you were already. I was like, hey, nice shirt. You're like, fucking cussed me out immediately. So I was like, oh, it's eggshell day.

[A]

Ah. What time a is it right now?

[B]

You know what? Roll the tape.

[A]

I just. I just love callbacks, you know?

[B]

Speaking of callbacks, roll the tapes. Because as he was trying to talk about the zombie thing, he combined George and Gilbert and you said jerk.

[A]

Oh, I did it.

[B]

Yes, he did.

[A]

Wait, wait.

[B]

You're like. You're like, right? Jerk.

[A]

You know how I know I didn't say that. You would have called me out wrong when I did it.

[B]

I. I said. I was like, don't. Kalela, don't call him out.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Jerk. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I said jerk. Anyone back me up?

[C]

I don't remember hearing it.

[A]

I'll be honest, Jules. Did I say jerk?

[B]

I internally giggled, but I was like, don't bring it up.

[A]

You said to say jerk. When did I say it?

[B]

Like.

[A]

You said it like. You're a liar. You're a fucking liar.

[D]

We just believe at the collage.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[D]

We don't really care.

[B]

Roll back the tapes. I'm saying you're going to hear it. So go back like, seven minutes ago. He definitely says, right, Jerk. So time at jerk. It's all the same.

[A]

I started watching that Night of these Kingdoms come.

[C]

Sounds like a porno.

[B]

The Seven Kingdoms.

[A]

The Night of the Seven Kingdoms.

[D]

Do you like it?

[A]

And I'll tell you this right now.

[C]

I think it's a no.

[A]

Well, commit, Gilbert.

[C]

I can see it from your eyes. Yeah, that's a no.

[A]

Gilbert, let me. Can I just explain myself? Please do. God, have you seen it?

[C]

No. I'm deciding if I should even invest in it.

[A]

Yeah, have you seen it for sure? You asked him a question during these family ones Is George included in the family? He is a part of the family. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my bad, my bad. Because you're talking more than he normally does. Yeah. It's just abrupt and weird.

[B]

It's almost like you bristle every time he opens his mouth. You go.

[A]

You know, it's shocking. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I get shocked. You literally.

[C]

Did you watch it, Jordan? For sure.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. The first two episodes I saw. Okay. Love it. Love the main guy.

[B]

Is that Dunk Dunk?

[A]

Yeah. I love egg. But I know that because of you ladies, I know that something happens in the fourth or fifth episode that's tragic. And if I. If this thing happens, what I think happens, I'm done with the show. I'm done with the show.

[C]

We got a red wedding situation.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I would be done with the show. And I don't want to. I don't want you to tell me because I'm gonna watch it on the plane tomorrow, but it's like I'm telling you right. Right now, if the thing that happens.

[D]

What do you think is gonna happen?

[A]

No, I don't want to because I don't want to give it away.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. But I'm telling you right now, if this one event happens, I'm out. I'm out. It's like one of those shows.

[B]

Sorry, I gotta put a nose tampon in.

[E]

They saved the great turn for the end of the third episode. So stay. Stay with it through the end of the third ep.

[A]

I already like the first two. I just said you hard.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I'm sorry. Oh, my God.

[B]

Guys, it's eggshell day.

[A]

It's you. I'm so. Do I. It's you.

[C]

I'm so sorry.

[A]

I think it's you. I think it's you. I don't think it's me. I think it's you. Can we all agree it's him? I think it's him. Gilbert, can we agree I think it's you, Jordan? It's in his vocal tone or energy or whatever.

[B]

Very aggressive.

[A]

Yeah, he's very. I apologize beforehand. Yeah, yeah. But. But I did. But I did say that I saw the first two and I really liked it, did I not?

[B]

Yeah, and then he said, just get through the third because that's where the thing happened.

[A]

Yeah, but he made it seem like. Like I was, like, losing interest.

[E]

Well, you're gonna keep going after the third episode, regardless of what you're afraid of.

[A]

I'm gonna watch it, even if I don't know. Oh, you know what I mean? Well, does that make no sense,

[B]

really, Rilin. Everyone's guts.

[A]

Yeah. So anyway, I think you're Riley. My guts. And I'm not. You know, and I think that's. You're the source of that. So I apologize beforehand, but I've been a little aggressive towards you, and I. Sorry about the Megan Rapinoe attack. I felt like you kind of took a step back and, you know, you look fine.

[C]

I don't even know who that was.

[A]

Yeah, you googled it. Yeah, yeah, we googled it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so go ahead. What?

[B]

Can you not do it like that?

[A]

Do like what?

[B]

You're gonna attack me. You're like, that's not a good seg. I'm scared. It's eggshell day. I'm really, really scared.

[A]

I want to see. Because, you know, let me say something. Over the years, we've been potting, what, 11 years on this thing, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You would be considered a pro.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Right. So let's see how professional you are, and I would like to see what you're. I just said that wrong. Right. Let's just see how professional you are, and let's see what your segue games like these days.

[B]

What was the last thing you said? Let me segue from that.

[A]

I just said it. What's your segue game?

[B]

I don't like that.

[C]

Just a segue from talking about sex.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, that would be. Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Did you know the guy who, like, invented the segue fell off a cliff?

[A]

There we go. There we go.

[C]

I think it's his whole essence right now.

[A]

Less is more.

[B]

Did he really fall off a cliff in a segue?

[A]

He died, I think.

[E]

I think so.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh. I always thought it was some, like, other chubby, dorky guy, but never mind. Okay, so for the longest time.

[A]

Very good. But use what he said and go into the. You know me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have this. You have to segue from the Segway death thing. Right. The guy that fel into your segue. And that's pro.

[C]

I think you can do it.

[A]

Yeah, I think you can do it. So say you're single thing again and then segue into.

[C]

Okay, so go ahead, say the same voice.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Did you know the guy that invented it actually fell off a cliff on a Segway?

[B]

I thought it was some chubby guy who invented the segue. And the reason I thought this was because I watched a reality show with Kathy Griffin a long time ago where she dates this guy named Steve. Steve something.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And they go on like a Segway date, and I just assumed he was a rich guy who invented the segue. Go ahead, ease.

[A]

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[C]

I think that's a good pro move.

[B]

Take it from here.

[A]

I thought. I think we lost the plot here. The plot is this, right? He was supposed to say the segue thing. Just let's think it through.

[B]

Can I take it to another topic

[A]

and to the topic that you wanted to talk about? Yeah, yeah. Not add on to the Segway thing.

[B]

Okay. I have another. Okay, here, wait.

[A]

Here. Go. And go.

[E]

Oh, hey, did you know the guy that invented the Segway? He actually fell off a cliff.

[B]

Maybe he had really shitty depth perception, which I think, by the way, I've had all this time. I've misdiagnosed myself my whole life, right? So I always thought I was anxious that I had, like, I couldn't be around, like, big lights in Costco or Best Buy, that I would, like, freak out. And it turns out there's this thing called bvd, and it's binocular vision. And you can test yourself, like using the Internet, and it tests your depth. It's. It's basically a test to see how you see the world in your surroundings. And based on that, it can give you, like, anxiety. It can give you, like, you know, just a whole nother perceived world around you. And I think I have that.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Because my eyes are closed together.

[A]

Yeah. I thought it was just born that way. I mean, it's. It's not like you were a baby and you look like Michael Shannon. I think it was always as if. You know what I mean?

[B]

Really?

[A]

No. Okay. All right, my bad, my bad. I read it wrong. Sorry, Michael, you know, from that segue to. That was very good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But that is not what I thought you were going to talk about.

[B]

That's bvd, right?

[A]

I know, but that's incredible.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Give her a round of applause. That was incredible.

[C]

I still don't know what it is.

[A]

I don't either. Yeah. Helix Sleep. Helix Sleep. Dude, guys, I have beds in my room, and my beds. You have multiple, multiple rooms with many beds. Right. That's what I meant to say.

[B]

You're a mattress king.

[A]

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[B]

And honestly, I've had my Helix for over five years now and it is still perfect as the first day.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

Let me see. And it's so easy. You just take a quiz. You take the Helix quiz online and they match you with a mattress based on your the type of sleeper that you are. Like for instance, me, I am a side sleeper and I run really hot. So I got matched with the midnight. Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

He's muy passionate.

[A]

Muy muy.

[B]

And what's really cool too is that they give you 120 nights of a trial. So if you're like, you know what, I don't like it. You can give it back 120.

[A]

But you're not. You're gonna do 10,000 nights after that.

[B]

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[E]

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[A]

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[A]

I know, but that's incredible.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Give her a round of applause. That was incredible.

[C]

I still don't know what it is.

[A]

I don't either. Yeah. So you have bvd?

[B]

I think so. And I need an ophthalmologist to explain. Explain to me what it actually is. But basically I have a hard time being around certain, like lights. And for instance, I don't walk into Costco ever. I haven't been in like 10 years. I won't walk into a Best Buy. I won't walk into a big space or even some grocery stores. I start to have an anxiety attack. I used to think, oh, it's just panic disorder. But I think it has to actually do with my vision and depth perception. So. Yeah. Anyways, somebody good, good topic. Yeah. Seg from that. You're a pro.

[A]

Oh, bvd.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's interesting because I might have dvd.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because when I was on the cruise, because I did a five day cruise, right. You know, I. I would stay indoors into my little cabin because I. Little cabin, right. And when I went, it would go outside, right. My eyes would cross a little bit because it was so sunny.

[B]

Oh, yeah. How was that cruise, by the way?

[A]

Oh, very good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But now what my. Can we analyze my segue real quick?

[B]

I didn't like it because you stuck to bvd. You should have started talking about the cruise.

[A]

No, I had to use your BVD to segue into what I quickly though I did pretty good. That was pretty quick, George. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it again now. Go quicker.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. So I think that I actually don't have a panic disorder. I think I have this thing called bvd.

[A]

Yeah, me too. My eyes crossed on the cruise

[D]

so fast.

[C]

Oh my God. What cruise? What cruise did you go?

[A]

Did that get better or better for your sensibilities?

[B]

I think so. You said from that the last thing I said. So I don't think I have a anxiety disorder. I think I have bvd.

[A]

Yeah, you can't let any time pass, man.

[C]

Try it again.

[D]

It's good practice because this kind of reminds me of my. Me and Atiana just talked about this that every time in Bad Friends, Sitobabi asks, asks us a question like, oh, what's your favorite like show? What's your favorite artist? And then my head just blanks and I can't say anything, so he just assumes that I don't know anything. Good.

[C]

Why do you blank you. You have a big list, don't you?

[A]

Yeah. You don't have a big list?

[D]

No, I just blank you blank out.

[A]

Is it because of fear?

[D]

I think so, yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that's what happens to me, too, if I'm put on the spot. But is. I do want to ask you something that I feel like is very pertinent to this room right now, which is the whole sibling conflict. Have you heard of this?

[A]

Are you trying to say sibling or siblings? Okay, sorry.

[B]

Southeast Asia.

[D]

We talked about it. Yeah, you were convincing us here. Filipino.

[B]

Yeah, when you give us a breakdown.

[C]

Wait, what the.

[D]

So the sibling drama, it started in Malaysia, and it was a K pop show. And then there was a concert rule that was like, oh, you can't bring big cameras because it obstructs everyone else's views. So there was this Korean guy that went to the show, and he brought out the biggest professional camera.

[A]

What show?

[D]

It's a K pop show.

[A]

It's a TV show.

[B]

It was like a live show that they.

[A]

I need to know the specifics, though.

[B]

Okay, go ahead.

[A]

Who was performing? Performing?

[D]

I don't know, actually.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, Cleveland. Are you ready? K Pop Band. Yeah, we love K Pop Band. We love K pop. What? Who is it?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

All right, look it up first. I cannot move on until I know.

[C]

Okay, no Sea brain coming. How do you spell that?

[B]

Go Malaysia concert. K Pop band. A K Pop group.

[A]

Forget it. Let's forget it. Move on. Move on. I don't need to know.

[C]

I need to know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you need to know. I know, Right? You need to know now, right?

[C]

The band's name, it's not even anywhere listed.

[A]

And if there is no band, you're a liar.

[D]

I'm not a liar. You're just trying to defend yourself because you're a Korean.

[C]

Wow, wasn't blank there.

[A]

Yeah, that was very good.

[C]

Day six.

[A]

Day six is playing. Okay, now move on.

[D]

Oh, okay. So the people who were in the show, who. Whose views got obstructed, they were like. Like, they posted on Twitter and they told the guy, you can't do that because we couldn't see anything. And then the guy, instead of actually, like, saying anything that would defend himself, he just called us jungle monkeys.

[A]

It was. He was a Korean.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And he was holding his camera. How?

[D]

Like.

[B]

Like an. So, I mean, like a true Korean.

[A]

Okay, stop for a second. Okay? I'm not defending the Korean. Okay. I feel like I'm on your side right now. Now.

[B]

Oh, you are.

[A]

But I need. I need to ask some questions for.

[C]

He needs details.

[A]

I need details. Right.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Because I don't know if I got the full story. Okay. There was a Korean man, right. At that concert. Day five, six.

[B]

Big difference.

[C]

Strong, detailed.

[A]

There was four guys on the stage.

[C]

That is true. There were four.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So day four. We'll just call them day four, then. How many people are on day six?

[C]

It's got to be six, right?

[A]

Yeah, but how many people did you see on the stage? Four. So day four, huh? Okay, can we go back? What were you frustrated about?

[B]

I have Bell's palsy.

[A]

Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. Okay, so anyway, so this guy, Korean man, is a Day Six concert, right? He has a camera, right?

[D]

A really big camera.

[A]

So a big camera like this?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. Was he holding it up like this?

[B]

Possibly.

[A]

Why would anyone hold their camera up? I'm just. I'm an investigator. Why would anyone hold their camera up like this?

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

Have you ever seen in any movie anything in anywhere a guy carrying his camera like this?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where?

[B]

If there is someone taller.

[C]

Oh, there you go.

[A]

Oh, very good. Good point. Very good.

[B]

Let's just try to.

[A]

Yeah, very good point. I'm just trying to. All right, let me see. Okay, good.

[B]

Yell Mings.

[C]

Yeah, people do it all the time.

[A]

Oh, like. Oh, so that's what he was doing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. And so he called them a junk. What?

[D]

Jungle monkey.

[B]

A what? Don't pretend like you haven't used.

[C]

It's his first time hearing this phrase.

[A]

This is in the Philippines.

[B]

No. Malaysia, Southeast Asia.

[A]

Well, it's, you know, I mean, neutral ground.

[B]

It's not

[E]

neutral.

[A]

It's neutral ground. I mean. I mean, if it happened in Cebu, then you know what I mean? No, but in neutral ground, anything can be said.

[B]

No, but I think you're missing the point.

[A]

Okay, sorry.

[B]

Because Southeast Asians, Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Philippines. This is Southeast Asian. We are technically the term. You know, we are the darker Asians. We are jungle. Yeah. We live in a rainforest. A lot of, you know, it's. It's that part of Asia that's not considered East Asia.

[A]

Well, why can't they just say, shut up, city monkey?

[B]

Well, what happened?

[A]

Actually.

[C]

Actually, that sounds like a different race when you say city monkey.

[A]

Well, Koreans are city monkey.

[B]

No, that's not true. You guys call yourself snow.

[A]

We're snow monkeys.

[B]

That's what you've called yourself?

[A]

Yeah. We're snow monkeys.

[B]

Yeah, but those are like the maa.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

That sounds more elegant than yeah.

[A]

Why? Because it's white. Get your mind straight.

[B]

That's what people.

[D]

Don't turn this on us.

[A]

Get your mind straight.

[D]

Yeah, but you know what? They can't even. They don't even want to call us city monkeys in the first place because they refuse to believe we even have cities in Southeast Asia.

[A]

Well, I, by. By virtue of me being there. Right. I can't attest that you do have cities.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Okay. You have very beautiful buildings.

[C]

Malls.

[A]

Huge malls. Gigantic malls with stacks and stacks of levels, with neon even.

[D]

Yeah, but it doesn't matter.

[A]

I don't know where you get the electricity from that, but there's probably like a bunch of people on bikes. Keep the neon going.

[C]

About to stab your eye.

[B]

I don't support this message at all.

[A]

No, I'm kidding. That was even bad. That was bad. It wasn't even a joke. It's very silly.

[B]

What are. Think it comes.

[A]

I think that's wrong.

[B]

Is it? The is obviously it's not the first time you've heard like Koreans call Filipinos, like, okay, so I was in a. Oh my God. I was in like a general meeting. I'm not going to name names, but this, this whole thing was like brought up and the Korean in the room was like telling the white people in the room just be like, hey, just so you guys know, like, us Koreans really do think Filipinos are at the bottom of the barrel. And he said that with his whole chest. And then he laughed.

[A]

Who said that?

[B]

But it's.

[A]

Who said it?

[B]

But he's not. Not lying. This. He's basically stating a fact. Because this is something that we've experienced for so long. Obviously not me, because I'm like a little bit more white passing than them. But that constant like, you are beneath me, you Filipino.

[A]

Because they're jealous.

[B]

Well, but you guys are like three

[A]

year olds singing Celine Dion. I mean, come on. It's incredible. A two year old boy with a full blown mustache. I mean, come on.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

And they box, which is jealous.

[C]

It's a good reversal.

[A]

It's a good reversal. Right? It's just out of jealousy. We're pale me, you know, I mean, but we.

[B]

But you're so different. You're not them. You've never thought. Have you ever thought this?

[A]

No.

[B]

Did you ever hear that growing up where you're like, oh, the Filipinos, you know, are like down here.

[A]

Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I Mean, who am I? I mean, when. When I look at Joe Coy, I don't think there's a Filipino comic. I think he's an Asian comic. And that's why him and I bonded early on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because we both Asian comics and we. We grew up together in the comedy business. So it's like we never, like, we say, us Asians have to sit together. I've always thought that we were all one. You know what I mean? I don't know who came up with this. These crazy terminologies, but it's like. No, I. I've been to the Philippines many times. I enjoyed myself immensely.

[B]

Yeah. I think that people are now catching on to the fact that, like, there's so much colorism in Asia and so much, like, racism in our own, like, region of the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But anyways, and I also, I, you

[A]

know, I have to admit that the. The Koreans in Cebu, I. I'm not on their side. I'm on your side. I don't. I. I don't like colonizers. I don't like any of that. I don't like when, you know, another group goes into a region and it up. Yeah, I'm not for that. I'm for, like, indigenous people enjoying their lives in their. On in their homeland, you know? So it's like, what do you think?

[B]

I like it.

[A]

But what happened to this guy then?

[C]

Is he canceled? What happened?

[D]

Yeah, he's definitely canceled.

[A]

But where did he live? In Korea or.

[D]

Probably.

[B]

Are there Koreans, like, defending him, though?

[D]

Yeah, like, it's like, crazy on Twitter, and they're, like, calling us all sorts of, like, you know, like, we're apes and stuff. They're literally. Okay, wait, he did not say that exactly, but something like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. And then, like, what we're saying to them, like, the. The siblings are basically saying, oh, like, you can't mock God's creation, but Koreans are plastic. So you can mock them because the plastic surgery.

[B]

You're like, the capital of plastic surgery. So now the. The siblings, the Southeast Asia countries are being like, you. You guys are all made of plastic. You're not even real people. That's their. This towards Korea. Yeah. So it's like a whole cultural war in Asia all. All started from this day six concert.

[A]

That's amazing. Did you find out how many people are on day six?

[C]

Okay, so another picture emerged.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It's going back and forth between four guys and five guys. There's never been a photo of six people.

[A]

Yeah. I need to do a formal complaint. I Think to whoever the manager is or something.

[B]

What happened on the sixth day is

[E]

that God created man.

[B]

Is it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, there you go.

[A]

So that's five.

[C]

Look, there's five here, but on the photo there's four.

[A]

There's four on the floor. Yeah, yeah. Oh, they played real instruments.

[C]

Some of them are five.

[B]

Oh, are they a Christian group?

[A]

Why would you say that?

[B]

Because said.

[A]

Oh, that's true.

[B]

They God created man.

[A]

Oh, that's interesting.

[C]

George said they don't look like one.

[B]

One, two, three.

[C]

They're a little too hip, a little too happy.

[B]

Oh, no. The Christian groups these days are very hip.

[A]

Do you think they're virgins, these guys?

[C]

Kidding me? I don't things.

[A]

You don't think so.

[C]

They're on a seedling tour.

[A]

Oh, are there any Filipino boy bands we should know about?

[D]

There's a pop. Yeah.

[C]

I will say P pop doesn't. Is there. Is there another term for that? It just doesn't ring as well.

[B]

We got to change people.

[C]

I hate P Pop. Cuz I've heard K pop.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The. When you said that maybe P pop

[B]

is tough because you can't even say F pop. Cuz that's sound good. We gotta change people.

[C]

Especially when you said it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. How many people bands are there? How many people? How many people bands are there?

[D]

I don't know, but I think there's like a main one. They dance, they sing.

[A]

Yeah, that's what. That's what bands do.

[B]

But they sing better than Koreans.

[A]

They just stand there. But they just stand there. They don't sing. They just stand there.

[B]

Are they trying to match the aesthetic?

[D]

They want to.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

No, you got to do your own thing. I think hip hop has to do their own thing.

[C]

Thing.

[B]

Oh yeah. I don't like it.

[D]

The girl groups too.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It's very like. Yeah. K pop coded.

[B]

There's a very popular K pop girl group. Not K Pop. Well, yeah, but they're called Cats Out. Oh, yeah, yeah. You like Manon the best?

[C]

I do.

[B]

There's a Filipina girl who's kind of like the leader of the group. Right?

[D]

I know. And I'm so sad. Yeah. Changed her nose for.

[B]

And she got a. I think she felt the pressure to get a nose job. Do what you want, girly. But like she. With just. I was, you know. Represent. Represent the Filipino nose.

[A]

Yeah. Was it flat?

[B]

No.

[C]

Do you see a difference?

[B]

Not really.

[C]

Bobby. For real.

[A]

She's hotter on the left.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's where her. Like, that's what she Looked like before.

[A]

Yeah. She's way hotter on the left. I hate her on the right because on the right you can tell she had something done. The left is so cute. I like the button nose.

[C]

I did, too.

[A]

It's super cute. She's a very cute girl. She's Filipino.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Very pretty. Very pretty girl. She changed it.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. You guys are a beautiful bunch.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Is that weird?

[C]

I just like that bunch.

[B]

No, you're bananas.

[A]

A real. No, it's a Calling us electric. What? That's true. I should use a different.

[C]

Yeah, don't use bunch.

[B]

Yeah, bunch of banana.

[A]

You guys are a cute little bunch of bananas. What is that?

[B]

Is them cat's eye opened that there's

[A]

a black person in it.

[B]

So they did, like, an international casting.

[A]

Oh, that's cool.

[B]

From everywhere.

[A]

Oh, that's cool. Who's the white girl?

[B]

Daniela.

[A]

Daniela.

[C]

Latina. Wow.

[B]

Yeah, she's from Texas, I think.

[A]

Really? What a cute group.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are they good?

[B]

Indian girl from Australia, right?

[C]

Chicago.

[B]

The Indian girls from Chicago.

[C]

I should know too much about this.

[A]

How do you know that? How do you know this?

[C]

I watched the. The reality show.

[B]

Okay. Then Megan, the one second to the right is from Hawaii.

[C]

Chinese Hawaii.

[B]

Yeah. And then Manon is from Europe somewhere.

[A]

Dutch, maybe.

[B]

Yeah, I watched. I watched that. The reality show, too. It's really cool. They're so rigorous. Like, they put these girls through insane stuff.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

I would love to see, like, a comic training like this. It's so aggressive. They, like, judge everyone every week and give them a score. If, like, you suck, you're gonna get kicked out.

[B]

Yeah. Every. They're crying. They're crying.

[A]

I would love to be a judge. I know you would.

[B]

You know, can I tell you the judges?

[A]

I turn around, I see a little bit of cellulite.

[B]

You look like one of them. Wait, can you bring up that main guy? You kind of look like one of them.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Sorry. Not. Maybe you don't. Sorry.

[A]

Yeah. Why do you. Why do you do this?

[B]

Because you said cellulite and I got triggered.

[A]

Why? You don't have any cellulite.

[B]

I have so much cellulite.

[A]

I know you do. You're 42. I counted 42 dimples. Yeah, a little bit, but dimples. But anyway. Is that him?

[C]

He's like. Like the main.

[B]

Yeah, he's the main.

[C]

They all revere him. Like, he walks in the room, everyone gets quiet.

[A]

He looks like Kim Jong Un. What the.

[B]

Well, he's the God of K pop.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's his name? I don't know what his name. Okay.

[C]

Oh, Junggong.

[A]

Jong Long.

[D]

Doesn't he have a lot of issues?

[B]

Like what?

[D]

Young.

[A]

All right, let's just move on.

[C]

What's going on with you guys? Have you guys gonna have any sister fights yet? I feel like there's always one sister

[B]

fight, but Jules does leave Issa at home sometimes. I do feel bad.

[A]

Oh, we. We. For the first time ever.

[C]

What?

[A]

Went to something to eat together.

[B]

Just you and Issa?

[A]

Yeah. And we went to Sprouts.

[C]

Who initiated that?

[A]

Well, this morning, I asked if you wanted to go to. No, I initiated it.

[D]

Yeah, you did Good.

[A]

Okay. You want to go get something to eat? And you're so hesitant. And then we went to Sprouts, and we bought. And then just came home this morning. Me and the girl that I'm seeing woke up, and we're like, you want to go have breakfast with us? And you said no.

[E]

Why?

[D]

Why didn't you go? Oh, yeah, because she feels pressured. Everyone's asking me, are you just sitting

[A]

there putting nail polish on your fingers?

[D]

Oh, yeah, because it was already 12, and then it was almost one, and then I was like, oh, I would have to get ready, blah, blah, blah. And I'd get really, like, frustrated with, like, things not going well, so I'm like, I'm good.

[A]

Okay, good answer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You don't feel comfortable just putting, like. Like, some sweats on and just go and get food really quick?

[D]

No, I do, but I would have to get ready for this.

[A]

How much time do you have to get ready?

[D]

Not a lot, but 30 minutes suffice. Yeah, but I would.

[A]

Then why didn't you go?

[D]

I mean, I need time to pressure. Like, I need time to, like, depressurize. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay, well, we're trying to invite you onto things so you're not stuck at home all the time. Yeah, I mean, I've hung out with you more than I've hung out with her, and she's been living with me for 15 years.

[C]

Wait, what's the situation?

[A]

She would never. If I. If I was like, hey, you want to go? No.

[D]

Yeah, I would.

[B]

Yeah, I would. Stop. Stop. Yeah, I would.

[C]

You're laughing a lot. Why?

[B]

Because he doesn't ask me.

[A]

I have asked you, and if you

[B]

ask me, I would go.

[A]

No, you wouldn't. Every time you ask, I guarantee. I guarantee you're making me mad. I guarantee you would not go. I've asked you so many times.

[D]

When was the last time?

[A]

When was the last time I stopped Asking because it's like I don't like being rejected all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like rejection. Right, Gilbert?

[C]

Yeah, it's true.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, you know. You know what I mean? She says yes, I say yes, too. Okay, let me put this down on paper. Okay, everyone listen up. Right?

[B]

I got the paper.

[A]

When is the last time you and I solo, just you and I went and grabbed a meal together?

[C]

Ooh, that's a good point.

[A]

Ding, ding, ding ding ding dong ding ding ding ding ding ding, ding, ding, ding. No, not with me. Not with me and my mom. Not with me and. No, because you and I don't.

[B]

Because you and I.

[C]

He wants the bond.

[D]

Like four years ago.

[C]

Okay, when was that?

[A]

Where?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Do you know why you don't know? Do you know why? You know, it never happened. She just say four years. It's never happened.

[C]

How many members are on day six?

[A]

Four. Four. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm just saying you never do.

[D]

It's just hard because I also have.

[A]

We live together. We've never not lived together for 12 years.

[D]

Wake up at 4pm yeah, it's true.

[B]

She's. She's hungry. She wants breakfast before 4pm okay.

[A]

Do I still wake up at 4pm?

[B]

1pm No, I still wake up.

[C]

What was the strategy?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, what's the strategy?

[B]

You said, do I still wake up at 4:00pm? I was like, no, you wake up

[A]

at 1:00pm Yeah, I woke up at 1:00pm for this.

[B]

Oh, you usually still go for four.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yet she still ate. I still wake up 4pm she still did it. And she's been here, what, a week?

[C]

Do you feel like it's not okay? Is there something where you feel like it's not.

[A]

She's embarrassed of.

[C]

I was gonna ask.

[D]

Oh, I'm not

[C]

over 50 now. And you're like, you've. You're his. He's your roommate now.

[A]

I'm. I'm like the dad. Like, she's a teenager. I'm the dad's like, no dad.

[C]

You know? I mean, is he unk for you?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Like, just sometimes. But I figured out I'd still be down.

[A]

Like, I'll do this. Like, man, man, we're cooked. You can't use that terminology. That's our terminology. It's like, I can't say cooked.

[C]

You can't say the country.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that person was unalive. You got to say fucking. Yeah, yeah. She corrects me on terminology. That's our language. You can't say unalived.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? We're cooked. Why can't I say it? It's a good. It's a good new word.

[C]

We're cooked.

[A]

We're cooked. Go ahead.

[B]

Cook has two meanings for their generation. Because it could be like, we're cooked or let her cook.

[C]

How are you?

[A]

How are you?

[C]

How are you?

[A]

Oh, okay, so the economy is bad, right? We're cooked. Are you making a brisket?

[B]

Wait, that.

[A]

Is that what you mean?

[C]

No, but that brisket was.

[A]

I don't care. I don't get what you're saying.

[B]

What do you think?

[A]

Let's go back. Let's go back.

[B]

Okay. When I'm looking at Gilbert, right.

[C]

I always use this word all the time.

[B]

Okay, hold on here. So I'm looking at Gilbert.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's doing something really important, like he's really editing and it's like crunch time, right? And he's in flow state and you try to interrupt, and I'm like, no, no, no, let him cook.

[C]

Also having Karen Klaus say, nah, nah, nah, it's crazy.

[B]

That's literally all my. In my. Here, in my household is, nah, nah,

[C]

nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

[B]

So it's like, let her cook.

[A]

I. I swear to God, on my mother's life, I have never used cook in that way. Like, let. Let him. Some comics writing. Let him cook.

[C]

Yeah, okay. You remember social.

[A]

No one's ever said that. No one's ever said that. Let him cook. Let him cook. Dude, he's on to something. No, that's not the follow up. That's what we say. He's onto something. We never say he's cook.

[D]

That's why you can't use the word.

[B]

May I just say Jules and Bobby's defense, the whole, like, we're cooked is not a Gen Z term. That's literally a as old as like the 1950s.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you. I'm allowed to say it.

[B]

Yes. It's like, I don't know why you. Why your generation thinks all of a sudden you have these new terms when it's like you've just stolen it from, like decades before and then, like repurposed it.

[A]

Yeah, you can't repurpose words.

[B]

And it's like the same meaning too. So I don't understand same meaning.

[A]

What's this new three and six thing going on?

[B]

What is this 3 and 6?

[A]

I'm trying to get behind the 3 and 6 thing. What is that?

[C]

All about, what is it here, my guy?

[A]

Explain it. Yeah, explain to me three and six, okay? That's your generation. Go ahead.

[D]

So it started from this guy. He made a rap song and then he was trying to basically say something was so cool. And he just said 6, 7. And then there was this. He's called the 6, 7 guy now, but there's this white kid. And then he was in like the side of a basketball match. And then there was this guy holding up a camera. He was videoing everyone and he was like, six, seven. And so it's that now, obviously.

[B]

Obviously. So what do you think it means?

[C]

Well, he's just talking about lamelo ball,

[A]

but I think we're doomed with the generation. Yeah, we're cooked.

[C]

Here are some things like. They can't take the word eight.

[D]

I mean, it's not ours.

[C]

We've said that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Give me some new ones.

[B]

No, eight is actually.

[A]

That's us amp does a bay.

[C]

That's old.

[A]

That's so old. Yeah, basic. I've been using basic for so long.

[C]

Bet is a. Yeah, it's this guy

[B]

that I would feel is.

[A]

How do you use bet in your terminology?

[D]

Like bet, let's do it.

[A]

Yeah, bet, let's do it. What does that mean?

[B]

Agreeing. Agreeing.

[A]

Oh, that's interesting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. Yeah. So if you're gambling, can you use it? Let's bet. Let's bet.

[D]

No.

[A]

Why bet? That's bet.

[B]

When you say yeah.

[A]

Because bet is like. Yes. Right.

[D]

That's literal sense.

[A]

What do you mean?

[D]

Like when you say, oh, let's bet. Let's. That's.

[B]

That's. You're using it as a.

[A]

No, I mean, the second time I'm using is for the literal sense of bet.

[D]

But what's your version Bet again, like, oh, yeah, bet. Let's do it.

[A]

So bet is. Let's do it. So I'm saying bet, let's do it. And then let's bet, which is we're gambling.

[C]

You could also. The gam. Or the dealer can bet.

[A]

That's bad.

[C]

Would you like to place a bet?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, bet.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, good.

[C]

Bougie's old.

[D]

But like, let me say something is so old. This is not a good list. This even. I know all these things are not our.

[A]

Back in the day, we. We went yikes. Now they go, now that big Y. Bigger. Yikes. Bigger Y. Why don't you say yikes louder?

[C]

That's true.

[A]

Instead of using big instead of Going. Yikes. Go. Yikes.

[E]

Here.

[A]

Oh, sorry, that was.

[C]

Keep it.

[A]

Keep that.

[C]

You wet all the way.

[A]

Everything I'm doing is bad. I'm cooked right now. I'm cooked.

[B]

Okay, this one's better.

[C]

These are all again, alpha. This is a popular one.

[A]

Okay. Brain rot. What does that mean?

[D]

I mean, self explanatory.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Like it's rotting.

[C]

Using a sentence, though.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, use it a sentence.

[D]

I've been scrolling. I've been doom scrolling for so long, I think I'm watching too much brain rot.

[A]

Oh, watching too much brain rot.

[D]

Brain rot is basically a genre now.

[A]

Now it's a genre. So it's like. It's not. I thought. Honestly, I thought was headache. It's not.

[B]

Oh, when did you think that?

[A]

But when I just read Brain Rock, I would go like, man, I've been scrolling so much, I have a brain rot.

[C]

I need some Tylenol for my brain rot.

[A]

Yeah, but it's brain rot.

[B]

I think your generation said crotch rot a lot.

[A]

Yeah, I still have it. Anyway, in your favor. Anyone said skibidi Oya riz Ohio.

[C]

Never heard the pronunciation. Ohio.

[A]

No. My eyes. I need glasses. Ohio.

[C]

I heard.

[B]

Wait, wait, I was like, how did he miss. How did he get skibidi to miss Ohio?

[C]

Not the weird one, right?

[A]

Wait, my eyes are so blurry that I thought. I thought it was skibidi, boy. Oya, oy, oy. Oh, yai Riz. Oh, yeah. Skibidi or iho Real. What does this mean?

[C]

That's a long.

[B]

Literally nothing.

[C]

But they say it all the time.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, but Ohio is like. We refer to Ohio as like a place where weird stuff happens. So like, when you say, oh, that happens only in Ohio. Like, that's like. That's weird.

[A]

Yeah, but Florida.

[B]

Florida was ours.

[A]

Florida's ours. Yeah, but I would. I would gamble that more weird things happen in flora than Ohio.

[C]

Bet.

[D]

I pretty sure there's like. Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's like a backstory behind it, though, that I probably haven't seen.

[A]

Excuse me?

[D]

I'm pretty sure that the backstory behind Ohio that I probably haven't seen.

[A]

Okay, I don't know what you meant

[D]

by that, but there's lore.

[A]

There's lore behind word. There's lore behind every word.

[D]

Like there's lore behind Rizzler mine. Skippity.

[B]

It's a backstory, an origin story of

[A]

every single word in the English language.

[B]

There's lore of the slangs that were.

[A]

Oh, I thought. Oh, every. Yeah, I mean, okay, sorry. My bad.

[D]

Do you know what's tea? Tea.

[A]

Tea, yeah.

[C]

Oolong.

[A]

Yeah. Like, you know, someone gives you a high five T that. No.

[C]

Ah,

[A]

no, you're golfing. It's like you miss the T. That's true.

[B]

Give me the tea.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Give me the tea.

[A]

I. I know what it is.

[B]

What?

[A]

Say a joke.

[B]

A joke? Yeah.

[A]

Just give me a punchline.

[C]

Fast, fast. Do your best joke.

[B]

I don't have it.

[A]

Something that would be a punchline at the end. That's not. You don't have to do the whole joke.

[C]

It's for EB.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know, Gilbert.

[A]

It's too late now. Whatever we're about to do is too late.

[B]

I blend. I'm not good.

[A]

I was gonna go tt like that, like, laugh, but it was

[B]

someone. If I come up to you and I'm just like, it's not working.

[A]

It's not working.

[B]

If I come to you, we haven't spoken in all week. I'm like, oh, my God, I haven't seen you in so long.

[C]

Stop saying hi.

[B]

Tea. High tea.

[A]

I'm trying to guess what it is. I don't want to tell you what it is. Okay, go ahead.

[B]

Oh, my God. I saw your Instagram stories the past week. What's the tea?

[A]

I know. Chamomile.

[C]

Or you could be like, chamomile is bad for you.

[B]

Or someone is like, bobby, Bobby, we gotta talk. The tea is piping hot.

[A]

It is. I don't get it. I don't get it.

[C]

Hot. God.

[D]

It's also used as, like.

[A]

It's gossip.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, well, then just say that. No, let me see if I can. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Man. Eric Griffin on that boat. That was just on that cruise.

[B]

Give me the tea. I need the tea.

[A]

Let me say it.

[B]

No, but you. No, but I. Say it.

[A]

I was sitting at my own. He was.

[C]

He was brewing his own little cook.

[A]

Let him cook.

[B]

Sorry. Let him cook. Let him cook. Let him cook. Sorry.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Bet.

[A]

God.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

Don't forget it now.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

God. My bad mewing.

[C]

You know you're a Sigma.

[A]

What's Sigma mean?

[C]

You're a Sigma.

[D]

It means, like, boss. Like something.

[A]

Like, I'm a Sigma.

[C]

A popular, dominant, independent leader.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, something like that.

[A]

What's up, my Natron? A Sigma. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll do that.

[B]

You could be Bobby Lee.

[A]

What's up? My name is Chad. I'm a. Is that better?

[B]

What? Chad is a Chad.

[A]

Anyway, can Bobby's mom be a thing then?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah, it could Be.

[D]

It's been a thing.

[C]

It's been a thing.

[A]

Yeah, but people don't use it in a sentence, though.

[B]

Not yet.

[A]

There's a word we can.

[B]

What do you think it should be used for?

[A]

How was Thanksgiving?

[C]

How was Thanksgiving?

[A]

Bobby Mom. Bobby Mom.

[B]

I know. Bobby Mom.

[C]

Had a good time, Bobby Mom.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I had a good time, Bobby Mom. It was great.

[A]

I'm Bobby Mom.

[B]

How was the vacation? I'm Bobby Mom.

[A]

I'm Bobby Mom. Okay, good.

[C]

All he keeps saying

[A]

turn up. Generation X slang. I'll explain to you my slang.

[C]

My lord.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

My squad.

[A]

Yeah. My lady. Tata, tataza. You know I can just name it. Don't even look it up. I got him. Okay. Okie dokie. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

George Kimmel will know all of these.

[A]

Awesome. That's us.

[B]

Yeah, awesome.

[A]

Awesome. Yeah. Tubular.

[B]

Tubular.

[A]

Yeah, tubular. Gnarly.

[B]

Gnarly.

[A]

That's me.

[C]

I still use dude saying dude, take a chill pill.

[A]

Chill pill.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Dog is ours.

[C]

Diss is great.

[A]

Yeah. Dis dude is us.

[C]

Dude. That's crazy.

[A]

We came up with some good ones. Headbanger.

[B]

Headbang.

[A]

Yeah. Rock.

[C]

Hella.

[A]

Hella. Yeah.

[C]

You tripping.

[A]

How about nah is nah.

[B]

Us?

[C]

I think Nas.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Nah. What is yuppie?

[B]

Yuppie.

[A]

Yeah. You know what is as if is

[C]

use it in a sentence.

[A]

Yeah, use as if in a sentence.

[D]

I mean, can't you just say like. As if. Like that's gonna happen?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, but that's us.

[B]

No.

[A]

You're not gonna give us credit. Wait, stop, stop for a second. Can you give us credit for that?

[D]

I'm gonna give you credit.

[C]

Thank you. Yeah, Just put the fries in the bag. Broke.

[B]

Well, you use.

[D]

Go ahead.

[B]

Use as if.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. You have to say something and then.

[B]

No, you can say it in one sentence.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. H. John said he lifted 500 pounds. As if you. You know what I didn't like about that?

[B]

What?

[A]

You tried to challenge me as if. As if I was. Yeah. As if I wasn't going to be able to do it.

[B]

And then you stutter. Step. And then you like. Like, almost like crashed out right there. What's the problem?

[C]

Who crashed out? Nice. Cl.

[A]

Good. You're acting like a simp.

[C]

You're being kind of dulu.

[A]

What's cringe? Oh, we have it. I know. I know what cringe is. Is. Is this us still.

[C]

No, that. That's.

[A]

This is still them.

[C]

This is you.

[A]

Literally.

[C]

Literally.

[A]

Literally is us.

[B]

Literally.

[C]

Whatever.

[A]

Whatever.

[C]

Classic.

[A]

Literally.

[B]

That's Pretty straightforward.

[D]

This is kind of old, you know?

[A]

I know, but before. Before us, no one said this shit true. No one said pook.

[B]

Okay, what's. It's giving. It's giving. Wait, no, that's not true.

[A]

In the 40s.

[B]

No. Pookie is so old. You guys took that from. Oh, my God, like, generations ago.

[A]

Like, back in the 40s. No one said, hey, give me your cigar, buddy. This hits different. Ah, you see?

[C]

You see?

[A]

You see? This hits different. No one said that. You know what I mean?

[B]

OG Is not yours.

[A]

No one back then is like. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, buddy, look at these raw denim. This is OG it's giving. What? No one said that in the 40s. Please. You made it up.

[B]

What's it giving? It's giving what?

[A]

It's giving. Ick.

[C]

Oh, I like that.

[B]

Yeah. Really quick, Has a girl ever talked to you and said a girl, like, you've dated in the last couple years, been like, oh, like, sorry, like that gave me the ick?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

To you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And what was it?

[A]

Well, you know, I have an acne patch.

[B]

Yeah?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, and I, you know, and I took it off my face. I stuck it on her face.

[D]

Yeah. You stuck it on Mama's phone.

[A]

Yeah, I just took it. Yeah, but I took it. The girl. I'm saying I stuck it on her face.

[B]

I think that's cute.

[A]

Yeah, but it had a white head, you know.

[B]

Oh, it already pulled out the pimple.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It was still attached to it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's not cute.

[A]

Is that ick, though?

[B]

No, not for me, I don't think.

[A]

Could this be it?

[B]

What could this be?

[C]

Let me try one more.

[A]

Let me give it one more shot.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I get one more shot?

[C]

Okay. A girl.

[A]

You're the girl that I'm dating is in the car listening to Hamilton.

[C]

Is this hypothetical?

[A]

Well, she likes Hamilton. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's all she listens to, is Hamilton. She's listening to Hamilton and she picks at her nose and she eats it.

[B]

No, that's not an egg.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

How's that not an egg?

[A]

How is that not an egg?

[B]

Because that's a turn off. Literal. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's literal.

[C]

So icks don't turn you off

[A]

listening to Hamilton? That's not specific.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Okay, Listen to a specific song in Hamilton. The Declaration of Independence.

[B]

Like something like.

[D]

Like a guy running and he's trying

[B]

to get the ball.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

He's trying to chase a ball that keeps on going, going. Yeah.

[D]

And then he's like.

[C]

And he can't get it.

[B]

He can't get it.

[A]

Wow. Do you understand?

[C]

I do, but I feel like work. He's get. We're giving some examples that are.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I feel like a really common one is, like, seeing, like, your boyfriend and he's playing a game, and he's like, his posture. Playing the games. Like, really. Yeah.

[C]

Like, really very feminine.

[D]

Yeah. And he's, like, locked in and stuff.

[B]

Or another one is for me, when I see a guy jump into the water and he plugs his nose like that.

[C]

That's, like, with the sound, too.

[B]

Because that's all. That's the ick I hear in my head. He goes, eek. That's all I can say. You get it?

[C]

I get this because I think Cindy's ick with me is when she walks in, I don't notice her, and I go, ah.

[B]

She goes, oh, yeah, Yeah.

[C]

I get jumpy.

[B]

Yeah, jumpy.

[A]

I go, ah.

[C]

I do this specifically.

[A]

You just gave me the ick. You just gave me the ick. I'll tell you. When I was so on the boat. So I was on a cruise.

[B]

How was it?

[C]

What's the tea?

[A]

That's. I'm doing a segue.

[B]

I know. And I'm trying to add information.

[C]

Eggshells.

[A]

Yeah, eggshells, dude. I'm trying to eggshell it.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

All right, so. So I don't know where to begin. Have you been on razor? Have you been on a cruise?

[C]

I've got sake.

[B]

Sorry. So in the Philippines, it's not cruises. It's our way of transportation.

[A]

No, that's not what it means. Of course I've been on a boat before.

[B]

Those boats are big, like, cruise ships. So, yes, I have been in like.

[A]

But not like. Not like. You know what I mean? Like, the kind of cruises that I want, like a carnival.

[C]

Is there, like, unlimited pizza?

[B]

Do you have a big buffet or restaurant?

[A]

Is there a, like, a gigantic water slide? And.

[B]

No, no.

[E]

You're stuck there for five days.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

No, no, that's not a yeah.

[A]

The kind of cruises I met, I've never been on one before, obviously. Right. So, you know, first of all, I was dreading it. Like, on the flight to Tampa, I was trying to figure out ways to get out of it. You know what I mean? I mean, that was like a conniving. Like, I'm sick. I have Covid. You know, I mean, like, all my go tos. I land. And Swartzen, Nick Swartzen was like, made reservations at this Restaurant. So I'm like. Which was weird because it's like, we're at the restaurant. Do you ever do this? Swartzen's. They have sauteed scallops.

[C]

Love it.

[A]

Right? I love it, too. Right? And Nick's like, give it to me raw. And they're like, we don't do that.

[C]

Like sashimi.

[A]

Yeah, but I just want it sliced and raw.

[B]

Yeah, raw scallops. Delicious.

[A]

I know, but if it's not. That's the thing. If it's not on the menu, why do you do it?

[B]

Oh, yeah. That's weird.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. It's something that they don't do.

[B]

Yeah, right?

[A]

He's like, no, I just want you to slice. He was demanding about it. I want raw. Sliced up like this with a little bit of this and this. I was like. I was like, nick, they don't do it like that.

[C]

Yeah, I don't think you can request that at.

[A]

Thank you so much. All right, so that's on you, Nick. And I told you. I told you. Okay, So I told you. Swartzin. Without him, though, I think I would have killed myself.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Because Swartzen made reservations for all the dinners. I hung out with him more than I hung out with anybody else. So anyway, you know, we meet the boy, we get. So we go in, and here's the good part. There is none. No, no. The good part is we were separated from everyone. We're at this place called the Haven.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Which is at the top. Why? Is everyone bored now?

[D]

No, we're.

[B]

Why are you so insecure?

[A]

I don't know. I think my Lexapro. I don't know what's going on.

[B]

We're all locked in.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Everyone adjusted on their seats.

[C]

We all did move everyone.

[A]

Everyone did.

[C]

Because we're getting ready for, like, what's the Haven?

[B]

That was it. What's the Haven? Yeah.

[A]

Am I really sensitive today?

[B]

A little bit.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Am I being weird?

[C]

Nah.

[A]

No. Be honest.

[C]

No. Is this Norwegian cruise great?

[B]

Great interrupter.

[C]

No, no, because I'm looking up what the Haven is.

[A]

Yeah. Show people. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, wow. Dude. All right. One person.

[A]

I look it up.

[B]

It's not even like a regular cabin.

[C]

It's probably, like, special area on the Norwegian. So the. The Haven is, like. It's special. Like, see, like, I used to be in the main, like, Titanic, Irish.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you. If this. If it's sank, you die. Yeah, that's what you would.

[B]

This seems like you guys have, like, Jacuzzis.

[A]

Jacuzzi.

[D]

Jacuzzi.

[A]

So, like, go to the top above. We're, like, here. No, even. Go top even more, dude.

[B]

That's.

[A]

You're at the very top. You're in the smokestack. Yeah, I'm sleeping like this. In a smokestack like this. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so. And so you. You know, you have your own little pool and Jacuzzi and steam room.

[C]

That's nice.

[A]

And there's like, like 12 rooms, and it's. You. You have to have a special pass to even get up there. So it's me, Adam Devine. You know what I mean? Anders.

[B]

Like the whole king.

[A]

A king bed, a queen. Yeah, but it's.

[C]

It's actually interesting.

[A]

But you walk in, there's a living room, a spare room. Oh, yeah, that's another room. And a big bathroom. I mean, it's a. It's a big thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so it's. Anders, Blake, Adam Devine, me. Yeah.

[C]

My cruise was not like this.

[A]

So that. That's our area.

[B]

And you guys could just hang with each other without the public.

[A]

Yeah, so that's just all the comics and everyone. Like, during the day, we'd have breakfast there, and it was a whole thing, so that was the nice part about it. But it's like, I went out and I saw the people.

[C]

How was that? Were you getting mobbed drunk, people?

[A]

No, it's a. It's a lot of love. It's a lot of photos. It's a lot of that. And the only bad thing about it, I'll be honest with you, is, oh, there's several things, and I don't care. It's probably the worst food I've ever had.

[B]

It's the cruise.

[C]

I got sick on one.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's just. Even in the nicer places, it's just.

[B]

It's a cruise.

[A]

Not good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Not good. You know, I mean, the best food that me and Nick and Eric had was the teppanyaka.

[B]

Teppanyaki.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And that was still middle. Mid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that your term?

[C]

There you go.

[A]

Yeah, I think it was still mid, so.

[B]

And what do you think? Did you feel as though you might have had more diarrhea there? Because you know how there's, like a. A rumor that they add laxative to all cruise food so that they don't clog up the pipes? So the poop.

[A]

I didn't poo for four days, so I don't know.

[B]

Oh, well, the opposite, then.

[A]

Yeah, the opposite.

[B]

They gave you, like, Imodium?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. They gave me Ammonium. Yeah. It is.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And so the only bad thing that happened, aside from the food and what else? And the sheer boredom.

[C]

Yeah. What activities they have for you guys separately.

[A]

Oh, bingo was fun.

[B]

I love bingo.

[A]

Bingo's great. Well, it's a funny. It's just an old.

[C]

It's a very old thing.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, because I hosted it.

[C]

Oh, that's why it was fun.

[A]

Yeah, it was fun. It was packed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So I.

[B]

We were like, N47.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's fun.

[A]

No, but. No, there's some other lady that. That.

[B]

I thought you hosted it.

[A]

I did host it.

[B]

You weren't, like, pulling the numbers.

[A]

No, I was just with the mic. Hey, everybody. Yeah, yeah. But when I went out and Eric did it with me, Griffin. I go, everyone get on your knees. And everyone got on their knees and we all held hands and I did like a 15 minute prayer.

[C]

That's fun. That's fun.

[A]

I talked about Satanism. It was crazy. You know what I mean? So that was fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then the bingo is fun. And then I have to say, the first show I did at this theater, I fucking crushed. Like, it was heaven. And afterwards, everyone was like, dude, fucking crushed. And you know me, I'm usually like, self conscious or I was like, that was really good. Right. The second show I did was the worst show I've ever done. I'll tell you why. It was the same exact people and the show was like a day later or whatever.

[B]

Why they do that?

[A]

Because there's only 2,000 people on the boat.

[C]

Well, how many people fit on that theater?

[A]

Like 600 or whatever.

[B]

Was there a third show?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, thank God.

[A]

So after about five minutes into my second show, I go, you guys heard these before, right? And the whole audience goes, yeah. No. Yeah.

[C]

How much time did you have to do?

[A]

45 minutes.

[C]

Oh, your full act.

[A]

45 minutes. And guess what? I did the second show. 12.

[C]

Did you do the dance?

[A]

Yeah, I just immediately got naked.

[C]

There's no context.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. There was no contact. I was like, I know. It was so hard.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because after. And also I had a. And you know who had to follow? Griffin. And you know, that sneaky bastard, new material. He was like, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna experiment, man. Don't worry about it. You know what I mean? And he does. He fucking home crush. Bam, bam, bam, bam, Right? And I'm like, all right, I crushed the first show. Three minutes in, I had to stop my act. And I said that, like, five minutes in, I go, you guys Heard this. I go, I don't know what else. I'm just gonna keep going. I said to the audience, I'm just gonna keep doing the jokes. Everyone's like, okay.

[B]

So the audience going in expected you to have a completely different set.

[A]

Schwartzen had a second different set. Oh, yeah, sweatshirt. I did a brand new hour.

[C]

They didn't tell you this?

[A]

What?

[C]

Adam didn't go like, hey, Bobby, you have to do the same.

[A]

This is what I thought it was gonna be before I signed up. Oh, you're gonna do. On this show, you'll do 10 minutes. On this show, you'll do 10 minutes. You know what I mean? And then that's it, right?

[C]

Full set.

[A]

But it was. I was headlining in a theater, you

[C]

know what I mean?

[A]

Full blown fucking thing, dude. Like walking from my room with security. You know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean? It was crazy. I'm like walking, you know what I mean? And people with walkie talkies. He's coming.

[E]

It's coming.

[A]

You know what I mean? It was like a whole fucking thing. I bombed so hard, I yelled at Griffin. I'm gonna call him right now.

[C]

Go back down.

[A]

You've reached Eric Griffin. Whatever message you'd like. Okay. Anyway, Eric. Yeah, Eric, why did you. Why did you try to sabotage me? Second show at the. On the boat. I did not sabotage you on the boat. Can I ask you a question? Can I ask you. Did you kill. Oh, I destroyed. It was great. Yeah. I mean, I was like on fire, man. You know, and then afterwards, did I. What was I like after my show? Yeah, you were, Bobby. Just a nightmare, you know, all in your head. Oh my God, they saw me already. This is it for me. I'm never doing comedy again. And you know, you were gonna jump off the boat, but then you got over it pretty quick and it was great. Anyway, good to talk to you. Okay. Is this. Is this my reappearance? Is this what you said? We'll book you. We'll book you within the year. Okay. 2027, baby. We'll see you in 2027.

[C]

Bye.

[A]

Bye. Bye. 2020. I told you. Yeah, yeah, but here's the thing. I always thought. I was also thought maybe Tiger Belly should do a boat.

[B]

I can't do cruises.

[A]

Okay, well, there goes that idea.

[C]

Oh man, it was a fun idea

[A]

or bad friends or something. I think there, there should be something like that. Cuz it's fun in that way.

[B]

Just cruises are just so like you said, everything about it is a nightmare.

[C]

It was by so with your family and friends.

[A]

That's fun, dude. It's like, I. You know, I got to know Adam, Anders, Blake, everyone so closely. We hung out. Everyone was having good time. It was fun in that way.

[C]

What a great.

[A]

And you know what? And I'm so grateful they invited me. And all kidding aside, it was a really pleasurable experience. Yeah, that was me and the boys.

[B]

Oh, they're wearing shorts.

[A]

Yeah, they're wearing shorts.

[C]

Did you ever wear shorts?

[A]

No. I wore that the whole time on a cruise, just sweating.

[E]

Leather jacket. The whole time on the cruise, Leather

[A]

jacket, just sweating the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. And it was. You know, honestly, if it was the right group of people, I would do it again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an out for Tiger Bell. That's fine. You know what I mean? But. Yeah, but that would. Don't you think that would be fun?

[C]

I would do it. Yeah.

[E]

No, I, like, it's a shared experience. Like, everything miserable, you share together, so then you, like, get closer because of it, I think.

[B]

Do you stop in, like, different, like, parks and stuff? Because that would be fun.

[A]

Yeah, we. We went to Mexico.

[B]

Did you guys go?

[D]

I'd be down.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Love the enthusiasm.

[A]

First up, guys.

[B]

Jo will be down.

[C]

Lisa. It's like a hard no.

[B]

I'm gonna ask you guys a question that's really important. Bobby, since you're on Ritalin now, you're on Lexa Pro, do you think that you could spend 30 minutes, just 30 minutes raw, dogging life without being on your phone, without listening to music, without watching tv, just sitting, walking, just living life, just taking it all in 30 minutes?

[A]

I'm doing it right now.

[B]

Practice. No, you have everything. There's stimulation. There's stimulation. So it's like, when was the last time you spent 30 minutes just existing? And the reason I asked this is because one of the. The newer life hacks, it's like, you should carve out 30 minutes a day for boredom. And boredom meaning, like, I want to do this, but I can't. I want to grab my phone, but I won't. I want to listen to music, but I won't.

[C]

Does it count when he goes to the spa?

[B]

No, because there's still some level of enjoyment and stimulation. I'm talking about real boredom, where it's like, I'm just gonna sit here on a bus stop and do nothing.

[A]

I'm gonna say this to you in the realest way I can. I do it every day when I sit in my room. I have nothing on. I just sit in One of those chairs. I'll just sit there for a half an hour or an hour.

[B]

Oh, that's amazing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I do.

[B]

And you're not like meditating, you're just like staring.

[A]

I'm just sitting there, like, just thinking how horrible my life is.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Is that what you mean? Is that what you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I sit there and I. Well, it's, you know, you. You ruminate about mistakes that you've made.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But you know, I'm trying not to do that, you know, I mean, so I just, I sit there and I go. I tr. You know what, what I've been, what I do. I try to self regulate my nervous system, you know what I mean? By putting my hand on my chest, seeing how I'm feeling, you know what I mean? And to calming my own nervous system on my own, you know what I mean? And being able to stop the intrusive thoughts and the constant ruminating about, you know what I mean, different things and. But it's not like I do that naturally. I do it because it's been my, you know, my therapist said to do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, so I exercise these things on my own, but I do it because of direction.

[B]

Yeah, me too. Because I. I was like, okay, well this sounds like an easy thing to do.

[D]

Right?

[B]

So let me just carve out 30 minutes of nothingness.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I break every single time. I find myself at least 50 times trying to reach for my phone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm like, what the. I don't know how to be bored anymore. I need that constant stimulation and it's really scary.

[A]

Yeah. Like yesterday I went. I woke up pretty earlier on 10, I went to a meeting by my house. And you know, it's. You know, this meeting that I go to is like very family oriented. It's like super bright. It's in a church and it's packed, you know, I mean, and it's like, it's one of those meetings where it's like all walks of life and you have hipsters to old grandmothers to the plumber to a cowboy, to just every. Everything. And I was just sitting there and you say hi to some people and they go get to see this and that. And there was a speaker. And normally what I do is I'll play like a game on my phone when there's a speaker because, you know, but this time I. Well, lately I've been just focusing on what they're saying, you know, and forcing myself to do it though, and listening and it Seems to be working in terms of grounding myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm doing different things that to improve myself, to be a better person, to learn new words, to seek out new ideas and new planets and frontiers to go where no man has gone before.

[B]

You should go hike with us.

[A]

Nope.

[C]

Can you guys not be on your phone or computer?

[D]

I think that's impossible, right?

[C]

It's possible for me. It is possible for you. You don't think it is?

[B]

No.

[D]

You know, I thought it would be more impossible for me, but since I don't have data, when I'm not connected to her, when I'm not connected to the WI fi, when I go on walks, I just raw dog walking.

[B]

That's really good for you.

[A]

That's good. Your raw dog, the walk. Yeah, that's good.

[B]

Yeah. Jules, you got to get on her level. So do I.

[A]

You also be very careful walking alone. I mean, I worry because she walks over. Like anything can happen in this area though. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Especially with no data on your phone.

[A]

You have no data. Wait, do you have her location?

[D]

Yeah, I do.

[A]

Okay, good. So we know where she is.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just walk by yourself. You don't want to invite maybe a roommate?

[D]

I don't have a roommate.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, you could always ask for a ride. Like Tito Bobby. Can I get a ride?

[D]

No, she doesn't.

[B]

I have a question. Now, if she's like, we're just saying

[E]

how good she was doing and now we're giving her.

[B]

What about if she's like Tito Bobby or what if Jules does this?

[D]

This.

[B]

I do want to spend one on one time with you. It's like, can we. Do you want to go for a walk with me at 11am tomorrow?

[A]

Yeah, I would.

[C]

He would.

[D]

You would?

[B]

I would, Yeah.

[A]

I would, yeah. What? It's interesting that Lexapro, I feel like a zombie, kind of.

[B]

I think that's just because you're still creeping up. You're not at that like therapeutic level yet. It's gonna feel weird for maybe like two more weeks.

[A]

It doesn't affect performance, but it's odd.

[B]

Yeah, it's a. It's like a flat. You feel flat, but that doesn't last because you actually turn over into feeling like the world is my oyster.

[A]

I've been on it for a month.

[B]

Give it six weeks is what they say. Just give it until six.

[A]

Two more weeks, I'm gonna be like.

[C]

I think so their Jim Carrey recently

[A]

I saw in France.

[C]

Yeah. Came out. Out, you know, hasn't been in the media in A while people are claiming that this is definitely not him. This is a clone. Other people are saying, oh, this is him doing another character as he's coming back into the limelight.

[A]

No, he got work done. That's it.

[C]

Why are people talking about his voice? No, his eye color.

[B]

What's crazy is that if a woman comes out looking so different, immediately they're like, facelift. But when a man. Is it so hard to believe? So that we've now just been like, oh, clone. Instead of being like, he got a great face. Facelift.

[A]

Yeah. Kalil, I know. Know him.

[C]

Do you know him?

[B]

I don't know him. Can you stop saying that?

[A]

You've never met Jim Carrey.

[B]

I met him once, and he was very sweet.

[C]

Oh, you guys are best friends. You go on a cruise. That's cool.

[B]

And he gave me.

[A]

He gave you what?

[B]

Googly eyes.

[C]

Which way? Which ones like it? Which one? Top or bottom? Googly eyes.

[B]

Oh, I missed the top. Googly eye.

[A]

He got worked on. Dude, that's Jim Carrey.

[B]

Yeah, because you can see the upper black.

[C]

But what about the eye contact? Color change.

[D]

There's.

[A]

See, no, the Ghislaine Maxwell is a little weird.

[C]

Oh, the one where she popped up out of nowhere.

[A]

Yeah. No, the. The one that she's in the photo that she's on a deposition. And then the one that. A regular one that their nose is different. Yeah.

[E]

And then they found somebody in France that looked like her. Looked more like her than the one that's in town.

[B]

See, this I believe a little bit more because it's like they're gonna throw all their money and power into trying to bury the Epstein files. Right. So I feel like the ceiling. There's no ceiling to that. But the Jim Carrey thing, it's like, what's the point? Like, what is. I don't.

[A]

I don't understand why I saw Bradley Cooper and was. Ah, he looks good.

[C]

Give me the Cooper.

[A]

Yeah, give me the Cooper.

[B]

I think same doctor. Yeah, but I mean, they say this about Britney Spears, Avril Lavigne, like, you know, Christina Aguilera. Everybody is a clone now, right?

[A]

Yeah, I'm more of a just like Jane Goodalling that just being all natural. You mean? I just. Yeah, just,

[B]

you know, spit it out.

[A]

Just age naturally.

[C]

See, this is the one that. Where they saw a lady. Some guy went up to her and said, galaine.

[A]

That's Galan.

[C]

She goes like, I don't know who that is.

[A]

Kept walking. Who? Yeah. And then look at the one that she's in the deposition thing, she looks different. Is that Ghis Maxwell? No. Huh?

[B]

She's older.

[A]

No, that's not her dad. I learned nothing.

[C]

Let's end with this. Issa. That Jews.

[A]

But you guys were great. Thank you for so much. Clap for yourselves for being here.

[C]

Final message to the audience. Go.

[A]

Yeah. Say something 20, 26. A final word.

[C]

Say something impactful for people that you can change lives. Go.

[D]

I'll hang out more with Dito. Bobby.

[B]

Yes. Okay. Great one.

[C]

Great slump as much as possible.

[B]

Making promises she will keep.

[C]

He said, what do we do?

[A]

What are we going to do?

[D]

We're going to get coffee and.

[A]

No, something more action packed. Fact.

[D]

We're gonna watch a movie.

[A]

Yes. Something. We've already done that before.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Here's another thing that I do real quick. What I've been doing lately is making plans.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Smart.

[A]

Like yesterday, I made dinner reservations on my own.

[C]

It sounds crazy.

[B]

I'm not gonna clap. I refuse.

[A]

Right? And I made reservations for the sandbox.

[D]

Sent the invitation to me.

[A]

Sent the invitation. Oh, my God.

[C]

I did those for you last time. I didn't know you had to do it.

[A]

Yeah, I know how to do it now. Okay. I've been. You know, in fact, when I got on the boat the first day, every. Every comic came up to me and go, we cannot believe you're here.

[B]

Oh, they thought you.

[A]

There was a bet that I would bail.

[B]

I mean, it was a good bet.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And I showed up. You know what I mean? Something's a brewing.

[B]

What's a brewing? I'm changing the Lexis Alexa pros.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think that I feel very split about this because while I'm like, everyone's like, clapping at a 54 year old man, like, making reservations and congratulations. And I'm glad everyone's happy about that. Yeah, that's weird that, you know, took half a century. You know what I mean? But that's okay. Congratulations.

[C]

Single clap.

[A]

We're not done yet.

[B]

I'm just not gonna celebrate. Baseline.

[A]

Shit. We're not done. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's baseline.

[A]

It's baseline, you know, but, you know, maybe I would have grown more if somebody didn't enable me all these years.

[B]

Maybe I would have maybe check out

[C]

our Dr. K episode.

[B]

Maybe I would have gotten a heart condition, been sick, lost my hair if I didn't have to fucking baby someone for a decade.

[C]

Yeah, we listen and we don't judge. Anyways, iss, anything you want to do in America before you leave, what's one thing you want to do that someone with money can help you do here.

[D]

She wants to go to a rave party. Oh, yeah. I want to go to Coachella, to the Walvi.

[C]

But guess what? You're gonna need a chaperone.

[A]

He has.

[C]

He gets to follow you around the whole.

[A]

You know, I think they did reach out to bad friends saying that. You guys want to go.

[D]

Can we go?

[A]

No. Did you? I don't know. Was it three years?

[B]

Wait, when is it? When is it?

[A]

Wait, wait, hold on.

[B]

April one.

[D]

But. Oh, my God.

[A]

Well, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Wait, no, I'm gonna make a phone call. Hold on.

[B]

No, no, fuck it. I'll get it for your birthday. He doesn't get to be the hero. I'll get to 18. It's on me. It's on me.

[A]

I'll do it. All right, you wanna take this seal?

[B]

I'll get the vip. I'll get the vip.

[A]

It's not just vip.

[B]

What?

[A]

Ours is just not vip.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Ours is literally backstage with the artists.

[C]

Yeah. You get to meet Gracie Abrams.

[A]

Yeah. So which one do you want to do? Nothing or everything. Not everything.

[C]

Say nothing or everything.

[B]

You have to say everything.

[D]

Yeah, but the trip to Hawaii is already.

[B]

No, but I mean, if you want Coachella for your 18th birthday. I did. I get that.

[A]

Congratulations.

[C]

I did it. What about you? What do you want? Dinner?

[A]

Hey, you're on, tiger belly. Hey. What up? Hey, so what's up with this Coachella thing? Didn't I hear a Coachella thing happen? Like, they wanted us there or this and that. What? What? What's up with that? Yeah, they DM me and were, like, really interested in having you and Andrew come as guests this year. But, I mean, you have some dates coming up right after the second weekend. It's a lot going on. I mean, Bobby, it's the beginning of a tour. It's pretty important. Okay, bye.

[C]

What a riveting content.

[A]

I mean, just. I know, but just. Can you figure out what the Coachella thing is first before. Maybe I can.

[B]

Girls tickets.

[A]

Maybe I. Maybe I can change plans real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? I'll email right now. Email right now. Okay, I'll do it. Okay, bye.

[B]

All right, can I just suggest something? Even if the badass thing doesn't go, if I.

[A]

If they ask if they. If they go, I go. If they don't go, I don't go.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, if.

[B]

You mean if you then go get

[A]

shitty tickets from her.

[B]

They're not gonna be shitty.

[A]

Where are they gonna be?

[B]

I say go with Bobby. If it doesn't fall, if it doesn't pan out, then I will get you the tickets. Is that. Does that work out?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What you can do is you can take the girls to Coachella, but you can just go enjoy Palm Springs.

[A]

I bet you those hotel rooms are gonna be super expensive.

[B]

If you're a rich man, you can afford it anyway.

[A]

Really? Thanks for listening, and I'll see you later.

[C]

Adios.