Lisa Gilroy & The Verbal Hug Problem

Summary

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TigerBelly Podcast Summary

Episode Title: Lisa Gilroy & The Verbal Hug Problem
Date: February 11, 2026
Guests: Lisa Gilroy
Hosts/Core Cast: Bobby Lee, Khalyla, and crew

Overview

This episode of TigerBelly features comedian and actress Lisa Gilroy. The core theme revolves around Bobby Lee’s complicated relationship with physical affection (the “Verbal Hug Problem”), Lisa’s comedic career milestones, friendly debates about stand-up performance, playful tangents about teeth and food, and intimate reflections on comfort, growth, and vulnerability in entertainment.

The show balances chaotic, rapid-fire comedy with candid (and occasionally ridiculous) conversations on everything from hugging styles to professional milestones.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Verbal Hug Problem: Bobby on Intimacy and Hugs

• Bobby discusses his discomfort with hugs and intimacy:
  • Favors side hugs and fist bumps, explaining, "I’m a big pounder." (01:48)
  • Explains he's like a cat with affection: "He comes when he wants to, he approaches when he wants to." — Khalyla (02:17)
  • Lisa recounts attempting to hug Bobby, who dodges her: “You ran from me when I tried to hug you this morning.” (02:27)
• Anecdotal debate about hug types:
  • Bobby dislikes the overly shoulder-driven ‘male comic’ hug due to his “very sensitive chest.” (07:08)
  • He shares a story about being picked up and dangled by NBA player Blake Griffin after attempting an “arms-over” hug: "He picks me up. Remember my legs were dangling." (10:30)

2. Comedic Mistaken Identity, White People, and Hugging Hierarchy

• Lisa shares her post-Golden Globes experience being mistaken for Nikki Glaser: “Everyone thinks I’m here...for Nikki.” (05:23)
• Discussion on white people "all looking the same" and hugging preferences.
• Game of “Marry, Fuck, Kill: Milk, White People, Hugs”:
  • Bobby’s picks: “I’d marry a white person... I would fuck milk. I don’t wanna fuck a hug.” (06:30)
• Consensus on the weirdness of hard-hugging and height-dynamic hug struggles—impromptu in-room hug demonstrations follow.

3. Hallucinations of Hygiene: Teeth, AI and Doubles

• The group dwells on the morbid origins of dental composites:

  • Lisa claims, "the dentist takes the old bones of other people's teeth...and makes it into goo...in your mouth." (02:53)
  • Bobby wonders if he could “choose Sean Connery’s teeth.” (03:51)

• Doppelgängers and ‘chapel gangers’:

  • Playful exchanges on which celebrities or people their “ugly doubles” might be (Marcelo Hernandez, Kristen Bell, Bong Joon Ho, etc.). (14:00–15:00)
  • Lisa: “I thought Kristen Bell...maybe Kate Winslet.” (15:15)

4. Career Milestones and Comedy Inside Baseball

• Bobby’s Stand-Up Special:
  • Describes being sick pre-recording, performance anxiety, backstage turmoil, and drama with producer George about sharing notes via the director, rather than directly. (25:37–28:05)
  • The group debates comedians’ reliance on old material:
    • George asserts: “If you throw a new joke out there and it doesn’t crush, you’ll go back to tried and true material.” (28:50)
    • Bobby adamantly counters, referencing shame and determination to work new material.
• Lisa’s Busy Year:
  • Film and TV updates: Cast in "Super Troopers 3" (61:05), an upcoming Apple TV series (62:10), and roles in movies like “You Deserve Each Other”.
  • Stresses preference for ensemble and 'bit' parts over leads: "I don’t really want to be the lead of something." (65:10)
  • Projects in hard comedy/sketch style, and lamenting the decline of ensemble sketch shows. (66:10)

5. Food, Cafeteria Announcements, and Childhood Tangents

• High school morning announcements reenacted:
  • The cast improvises morning/lunch menu scenarios, with call-backs about “Salisbury steak” and invented cafeteria slogans: “If it’s not your mom’s cooking, then it’s not your mom’s cooking.” (23:20)
• Ode to ham and cheese sandwiches and Uncrustables:
  • Jaime obsesses over grilled cheese, leading to a meta, “commercial” improv. (51:02–52:27)
• Other tangents:
  • Ocean foam, foam parties, and concerns about toxic beach water (55:14–56:05)
  • Lisa on roller coaster dangers: "The roller coaster came detached and it flew into a crowd of people..." (72:52) (Edmonton Mall incident)

6. Comfort, Confidence, and Growth in Comedy

• Handling performance anxiety:
  • Lisa says she doesn't get nervous about unpredictable shows: "You can’t really, like, prepare for it anyways." (44:09)
  • Bobby reflects on his early-career perfectionism: "I put a lot of pressure on myself." (45:12)
  • He admits he’s almost, finally, comfortable being himself: “I think I’m there now.” (45:34)
• On emotional support:
  • Bobby, on needing a supportive inner circle: "I would probably just be in some dark room in Valencia." (71:27)
  • Exchanges on neediness, partner support, and playful admissions of codependence. (59:41–60:05)
• Final round of genuine affirmations:
  • “We all talk about...how just intrinsically funny you are. And you’re so kind, and just like, it couldn’t happen to a nicer person.” — Bobby to Lisa (65:34)
  • Lisa: “Did that feel like a hug?” (65:45)
    • Bobby: “I do verbal hugs.” (65:46)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On hugs:
  • “I do side hugs. Pretty good at that.” — Bobby (01:48)
  • “He's like a cat. He comes when he wants to.” — Khalyla (02:17)
• On stand-up repetition:
  • “You want to do a bet right now that you won’t...throw an old joke in if the new stuff bombs?... You love to crush on stage.” — George (28:50)
  • “If I do, it would cause me so much shame. Right. And I—I don’t want to feel that anymore.” — Bobby (30:28)
• Lisa on being mistaken for Nikki Glaser:
  • “Everyone thinks I’m here...for Nikki. I was in heaven.” (05:23–05:30)
• On food improv:
  • “Today's special is...grilled ham and cheese only at Mel's Diner...come and you'll get a hot girl like me. But that's not guaranteed.” — Jaime (52:27)
• On support and validation:
  • “I’ve achieved everything I ever wanted to achieve, and I’m just super in gratitude.” — Bobby (73:58)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:36 | Bobby explains his hug/affection issues | | 05:23 | Lisa’s story on mistaken identity at Golden Globes party | | 06:24 | “Marry, Fuck, Kill” with milk, white people, and hugs | | 07:08 | The (overly aggressive) male comedian hug & Bobby’s sensitive chest | | 10:30 | Bobby’s Blake Griffin “dangling hug” anecdote | | 14:00–15:00| “Chapel ganger” (doppelganger) segment: celebrity lookalikes | | 25:37–28:05| Bobby’s special production drama with George | | 28:50 | Debate: Will Bobby rely on old material post-special? | | 51:02–52:27| Ham and cheese sandwich improv commercial | | 61:05 | Lisa announces role in Super Troopers 3 | | 62:10 | Lisa’s Apple TV project revealed | | 65:34 | Bobby praises Lisa’s comedic ethos; “verbal hug” exchange | | 73:58 | Bobby reflects on gratitude and contentment |

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Final Thoughts

The episode is a quintessential TigerBelly blend of silly improv, vulnerable honesty, and irrepressible banter. It manages to be lighthearted yet reflective, floating from playful anxieties about physical affection to industry in-jokes, fast-food food fetishes, and self-deprecation—bound together by the genuine camaraderie and verbal “hugs” among these comics.

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For newcomers: Expect high-speed digressions, affectionate roasting, and a peek into the neuroses (and triumphs) of working comics. Hugging Bobby? Maybe not. But everyone, in the end, gets a TigerBelly-style “verbal hug.”

Transcript

[A]

Hi, I'm Bobby Lee and I created a graphic novel with my friend Matthew here. It's called Dead Weight. Look at how beautiful this is. Wow. Wow. Amazing. Dude, this looks great. Look at that. Oh, my God. Dude, you can get it everywhere. Books are sold. Barnes and noble, Amazon and gunnerbooks.com.

[B]

It'S rated R. Kung Fu Panda meets Kick ass.

[A]

It's from my heart. And so please check it out.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Wow. Wow.

[D]

See you again.

[A]

Wow. Wow. Wow. Hi. Wow.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Wow, wow, wow. Wow.

[E]

Whoa.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

No Cream. Anybody have cream? Is that what you said?

[C]

That's mine.

[A]

Yeah, that's yours.

[F]

I think hers are right there.

[D]

I think yours is.

[E]

Who has cream?

[A]

I don't know why I said I don't know. I heard cream.

[E]

Kareem or Cream?

[A]

The Cream Abdul Jabbar.

[E]

Okay, that's what I thought.

[A]

Yeah. Kareem Abdul Jabbar.

[C]

I went to school with a kid named Cream.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. And his nickname was Cream Puff.

[E]

I like that.

[A]

Was he black?

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Is that a shocking toy?

[A]

Just asking. Curiosity.

[C]

Do you not like hugs, Bobby?

[A]

No. I like your white teeth in your face, man.

[C]

So you're not a hugger?

[A]

I do side hugs. Pretty good at that.

[C]

What's wrong with you?

[A]

I'm pretty good at, like, pounds. I'm a big pounder.

[C]

Yikes.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. Like this kind of pound.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the other kind. And then I'm also. What's up? You know, I'm good at that.

[C]

Why? Can we, like, where does it come from? Where does it go?

[A]

I have intimacy issues.

[C]

You. You do? You always have.

[A]

Well, I mean, I dated her for 10 years. Ask. I mean, tell.

[C]

Do you. Did you get hugs when they were dating? Sometimes.

[E]

He's like a cat. He comes when he wants to, he approaches when he wants to.

[C]

Right?

[E]

Yeah. And if he doesn't want to be approached, it's like, oh, yeah.

[C]

Because you ran from me when I tried to hug you this morning.

[A]

Yeah, well, it's. You know, there's an energy that you exude.

[C]

I want it now.

[E]

You don't get one.

[C]

Hey.

[A]

You don't get one. What did you get? Braces. Have we talked about this? I don't know.

[C]

Yeah, I got braces.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[F]

Talked about our teeth for, like, 20.

[A]

Minutes left last time. All right, let's move on from it. Let's move on from it.

[F]

20 minutes.

[A]

How have you been? Elise?

[C]

Do veneers come from dead people?

[E]

That's a question. Where do they make that? Is it, like composite?

[C]

Because you know, when you get your wisdom teeth out, they take. They. Well, they put. You know, the dentist takes the old bones of other people's teeth from when they died and grounds it up into powder and makes it into goo and puts it in your mouth to make other teeth.

[A]

Can you choose what teeth you want grounded up?

[C]

No, it's just a whole shit mix of whoever got cremated, I guess.

[A]

Oh, God, it could be anybody then.

[C]

But that's true. Did you know that it's like bone composite that the dentist uses made from.

[E]

Other bones, and even the composite bonding is from other.

[C]

I think so.

[E]

Ew.

[C]

I know.

[D]

They make gold rings. They just take gold, melt, melt it.

[E]

You're right.

[D]

Make other gold rings.

[C]

Yeah. And gold teeth, too, I guess. They melt it down and make other gold teeth. You're the smartest person I know.

[D]

Watch.

[C]

Do you like hugs I make?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

After. After I just headphoned up, I won't be able to leave.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Just wait.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But after, I'm gonna give you the hug of a lifetime.

[A]

Yeah. I wish I would. I would ask for people's like, could I have Sean Connery? Do they have that?

[F]

Oh, you did the choose.

[A]

I want to choose the kind of.

[E]

Tooth that I want, but I feel like if that's the case and they. And they give you Sean Connery, you cannot change the size.

[A]

What do you mean?

[E]

So if Sean Connery has big teeth.

[A]

You said you grind. They grind it up and then they mold it to your.

[C]

Okay. Okay, so I'm going to do some couples counseling for you guys. We're talking about two separate things here.

[A]

Okay, what is it?

[C]

So Kila's talking about using dead people's teeth for veneers, and Bobby is talking about grinding up the teeth to use them as composite that glues other.

[A]

Oh, I see. So what are we talking about now?

[C]

So see. See how I opened up the line of communication?

[A]

Yeah, you did.

[E]

You really did so much.

[A]

Thank you, Nikki.

[C]

So what's everybody's level, Nikki?

[F]

That is not Nikki Glaser that.

[A]

You did really good job at the Golden Globe two years in a row. Kate just really killed it.

[C]

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

[A]

Lisa Gilro. Lisa Gilroy.

[C]

I went to the after party after the Golden Globes, and I was floating around the party and everybody that was past me was like, you're so funny. And I was like, oh, my God. I'm like, I've actually made it. I'm, like, crushing it in the scene. I've arrived. And then someone else was like, you rock. And I was like, damn. And then a famous woman came up to me and gave me a big hug and held both my hands and said, thank you so much for making tonight so special. And I was like, oh, everyone thinks I'm here.

[A]

Can you say who the famous person was?

[B]

Or.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I don't want to embarrass, honestly. Also, after she said that, I just went, thank you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because I was so. I didn't know. I didn't want to. I didn't want to make her feel bad or embarrassed.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Look at Nikki. I love her so much. So, yeah. That. I mean, it was Nikki's party we were at, so no wonder we were floating around and everyone was congratulating me on my big night.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She.

[C]

I was in heaven. Yeah.

[A]

Also for whites, you guys are not that similar looking.

[E]

I don't think so either.

[A]

No, no, no. In fact, I think you're. Well, go ahead.

[D]

To your eyes. No. But to the public.

[E]

I usually think white people do look the same. And I do not think you look like her.

[C]

Wow, that's surprising. Even I sometimes see a picture of her at a certain angle and I think it's me.

[A]

Yeah. I have problems with whites too, myself.

[C]

Yeah?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What do you hate more? White people are hugging.

[E]

Great questions.

[A]

It's a really good question. I don't hate any. I don't hate anybody. Now, that's number one. Okay. Because I'm all about peace, love, and namaste.

[C]

Are you allergic to anything?

[A]

No.

[C]

Does anything upset your belly? Bad.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Cream milk.

[C]

Okay. Marry, fuck, kill milk, white people and hug.

[A]

God, you're quick today.

[C]

What do you want?

[A]

So I would.

[C]

Who will you take as a bride?

[A]

I'd marry a white person.

[F]

Wow.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Revolution.

[A]

Yeah. I would. I would fuck.

[D]

Ooh.

[F]

Dairy God.

[E]

Milk.

[C]

For sure.

[A]

I would fuck milk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

You don't even wanna fuck a hug. It's crazy.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah. I don't wanna. Yeah, I don't wanna fuck a hug.

[C]

You'd rather fuck the thing that makes your stomach upset than a hug, which is the best thing that we have.

[A]

Listen, here's why I don't do hugs. Cause everyone has a different hugging style. Sure. Right. Some male comics are shoulder. Right shoulder. In first. I don't like that. And they bring in their arm and they do this lock and then they go in with their shoulder.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And I have a very sensitive chest.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

It hurts. It really hurts.

[C]

Well, your nipples are always bleeding.

[A]

Yeah. They're always bleeding. Yeah. I mean, Also, when they're taller, right? Let me just say something, okay? Because now I'm onto something here, guys. Okay? If I'm hugging a white. A tall guy, right? I get both under. Oh, right. I'm not doing the right arm wraparound.

[E]

But you can.

[A]

What?

[E]

You can attempt.

[A]

No, I will not even attempt it because it looks weird.

[E]

Let's try it on a tall person. She's not that.

[A]

She's not that. I'd have to do it with George.

[C]

I'm taller than you, Bob.

[A]

That much taller, though. That much taller.

[C]

Stand up.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

Oh, God. It's on camera now. The water.

[A]

It's all right. It's all right. Le.

[C]

Oops.

[F]

It's all right.

[A]

No, leave it. Leave. It's. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

The hole's fine.

[A]

Yeah. Ej.

[F]

Mustache.

[A]

Ej Sorry.

[E]

Just leave it there. Just leave the towels.

[A]

Leave a towel.

[C]

I got so mad at Bobby.

[F]

Get the comic.

[A]

What'd you get?

[D]

Mad. Jesus. Tall people problems, am I right?

[C]

But I was taller. Everyone saw that, right?

[E]

Okay, now do the proper attempt to go for the. Over the. The arm hug with Lisa.

[C]

Oh, you're checking him and hugging me now?

[A]

No, no, I don't want.

[E]

You guys. You're not that tall.

[A]

You just. What?

[D]

All right, Check the piano if it's okay.

[A]

What's up? I need a conversation before. Yeah, go. Right. No, I gotta be in a scenario.

[E]

Are they on cam?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Ej, stay where you are.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

And, Bobby, keep your pants higher.

[E]

That'll give you some height.

[F]

That makes you look taller.

[E]

You look taller already.

[A]

That's good.

[C]

Okay, so Bobby's in his kitchen. It's 6am he just woke up. Another comic enters the kitchen.

[B]

Hey, thanks for letting me stay in the room.

[C]

In the room, tops.

[A]

To grow in the room. It.

[D]

No, see, that's.

[A]

I know what I'm saying. You're going in with your whole body. Oh, yeah, yeah. What is this? What is his arm? Like this. Like this.

[E]

Go in, flush, forward, go.

[A]

All right. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

A. Oh, but what's this?

[E]

Bobby.

[C]

I saw that too. Bobby's fingers go like this.

[E]

You had to go. You have to hug this way.

[A]

I have carpal tunnel. You know this. Ouch.

[E]

That's insulting.

[C]

When you hug someone, you got to hold them.

[E]

Yeah, you got to hold them.

[C]

You, like, balled up your fingers like you had brain trauma.

[A]

I'm alpha.

[E]

That is true. That's the court.

[A]

You didn't know that?

[C]

I didn't know you were alpha.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I guess I'm alpha, dude. Right?

[C]

But, Bobby, you Know what I think might also make you feel really cute? If you're ever hugging a tall man, you could do both arms up. Oh, over the top.

[A]

Okay, so I knew a girl, right?

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Bullshit.

[A]

God, I love it. I love your energy. I know a girl that linked up. I'm gonna just say it. Blake Griffin. Okay. He came.

[E]

That's the girl.

[A]

He came to the Comedy Store to meet a friend of mine.

[E]

Okay, Right.

[A]

And he. I went in for. I went above. Which my instincts said don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Okay, I'll pause, because I know Stewie, and I know the. I know Peter, but I don't know which Griffin this one is.

[A]

Wait, am I saying it right?

[F]

You say Blake Griffin.

[C]

Who is that?

[A]

Blake Griffith? Yeah.

[D]

Blake Griffin.

[A]

Is it Griffin or Blake Griffin?

[C]

Oh, Peter.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I made the mistake. I went up. Then he picks me up. Remember my legs were dangling.

[E]

Oh, no.

[A]

Do you remember that? And it dangled there for 45 seconds. I counted, right? And everyone was laughing. I will not repeat that mistake again. Right? So I tried to go under. I want body control.

[C]

Wait, so sorry. You said you tried to go both arms up on him. Who's, like, probably 4ft taller than you. You were doing.

[A]

You were literally six.

[C]

You were going pick me up.

[E]

You were doing uppies.

[C]

Yeah, there's no way. Of course he lifted you off the ground. You lifted both arms.

[A]

No, I would. It was like. Like he was a deity.

[C]

You asked for an upbeat, and I went upp.

[A]

Like a deity. Right.

[C]

Up.

[A]

And then I grabbed. Locked onto his neck. Yeah, right. And he took me for a ride.

[C]

Bobby, I just want to say there's no way you even wrapped your fingers around his neck if your feet weren't already. Dingle dangle.

[A]

He didn't. Wait, wait.

[C]

There's no way you could do that from feet on the ground. He didn't.

[A]

No, no, no. He did an Asian bow.

[C]

Oh. So he bowed to hug you, and then you put arms up.

[A]

There's more to it than that.

[C]

So he simply just stood up and you didn't let go?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You want to say he picked you up and dangled you for 45 seconds.

[A]

You're saying that that's what I wanted?

[C]

No, I'm saying that's what you did. If he bent down to hug you and you put your arms up like this, and you didn't let go, the man simply stood up and lived his life. And you were just dangling like a necklace.

[A]

Okay, you're right. You're right, you're right. You're right. You're right, you're right. Yeah. Are there people that you don't want to hug that go in for a hug?

[C]

It's rare, but it has happened. Oh, I'm like, something weird is happening. I think I've electrocuted myself from this wall. I would say the only people I've not wanted to hug in my life are, like, I used to be a camp counselor, and sometimes there would be.

[D]

Like, the little kids.

[C]

No, I love the little kids. I'll hug all the little kids. There's a certain energy of, like, one type of kid that you just feel like they asked for too many hugs. You're like, you're. You're done. Oh, it's not even that. It's like there's something else going on. It's like the energy is very, like. I don't know. Oh, okay.

[A]

What's that?

[F]

Do you and Blake Griffin when.

[A]

You don't remember this? No, I don't remember that. Yeah. Oh, you picked me up like that, too. No, that's AI. Why did you. That's like. Why are you acting like an old person?

[C]

I fell for that.

[A]

That could have happened. You think so? Yeah, that could have happened. Yeah.

[C]

That looks like a commercial you guys shot together.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, that's really cool. That's real.

[C]

I can't really identify anything in that. That makes it. Usually you can tell by the people in the background that it's AI.

[E]

You can tell his right eye.

[A]

Zoom in on the eye look. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's up with his right eye?

[E]

It doesn't look like your eye.

[C]

Oh, look at his fingers.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fingers are weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, there's. Yeah, no, that's his fingers.

[E]

No, those are yours.

[C]

Oh, they could be his.

[E]

Those are his fingers locked in.

[A]

Yeah. And we're locked in like that. Yeah.

[C]

AI's getting good at fingers. That's upsetting.

[E]

But your ring finger is completely broke.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, true that. Anyway, let's move on from AI. Dude. What the.

[D]

Dude, you can't tell it's AI. Yeah. Right away. How it just looks AI.

[E]

Huh.

[A]

Classic, really.

[C]

You've been making a lot of pictures on there, huh?

[A]

You really are smart. Like you said. Like she said.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. You can tell it's AI, man.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Can you?

[A]

And let's move on.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Can we move on?

[D]

Yeah, Move on.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Heard of a chapel ganger?

[C]

Yes. It's like your ugly version of you.

[E]

Yeah. Or are you the ugly version of somebody?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I don't think you are.

[C]

I think I'm probably Christabel's chapel ganger.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[C]

I've been told that.

[A]

I don't think so. Not a chance.

[F]

Topple ganger.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Chapel ganger. It's a chopped doppelganger.

[D]

It's a tick tock sling.

[A]

So Dan Ramos is my chapel Dang Her.

[E]

Yes, but who are you? The chapel. Chapel ginger of.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

An open mic is an open mic.

[A]

I know, like the rock, maybe.

[C]

Kind of.

[E]

Wait, there. There are some similarities. There has to be something. Like for instance, I'm probably the chapel ganger of Brittany Furlan. Same eyes, close together. Same kind of.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

And his is Marcelo Hernandez. He's a chapel ganger of Marcelo Hernandez.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I bought the guy from the directed parasite. What's his name? Bong Joon Ho. Yeah, I'm Bong Joon Ho because I have a photo with him. I think we have the same eyes.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I mean, I don't. Did I post that photo? Okay, anyway, so who's yours?

[C]

I. I thought Kristen Bell. I don't know. I don't really get any. I don't know who else. I mean, maybe like Kate Winslet. You.

[A]

Yeah, you.

[C]

Dude, that was actually really uncalled for.

[A]

Yeah, that was uncalled for you.

[D]

I thought we were naming people.

[F]

My cousin Marcus.

[A]

Yeah, he turn the heat up. What is it like a sweatshop? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

What?

[A]

But Lisa, I mean, for a comedian, I want to tread lightly here.

[E]

Oh, already? That's so mean. For a comedian.

[C]

For a comedian.

[F]

You didn't tread lightly.

[E]

What?

[A]

Bobby, it feels weird. Now I'm gonna gently go into the forest. You want me to try for a comedic entertainer?

[C]

Okay, right now it sounds like adult entertainment.

[A]

Yeah. You know what? I'm gonna get out of the. I think. Yeah. I don't know.

[C]

You're likely going into a forest right now. No, like how dogs walk away from their family and they want to go die somewhere private.

[E]

Oh, they do that.

[C]

That's really sad. Are you doing that, Bobby?

[A]

No, no. Well, what I wanted to say is. And I'm probably going to get in trouble for saying this, and I don't know how to say it, but I'm going to just try and say it. I mean, you're very attractive for. You know.

[C]

Then why won't you hug me? Oh, it's like literally all I've been asking.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'll tell you why. With female entertain comedic entertainers.

[C]

Stop Saying comedic.

[F]

Who says comedic entertainers? What is this?

[A]

I just want to. I don't want to get in trouble for female comedic entertainers.

[C]

What would you call yourself?

[A]

Yeah, a male Asian entertainer.

[F]

Not comedic.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's in the Asian.

[E]

So it's what I would just without the comedic. Male. Asian.

[B]

Asian entertainment.

[E]

Sounds like a stripper.

[A]

That's a stripper. Okay. Okay. Anyway, I don't know. Why am I sweating?

[D]

Because it's hot.

[A]

Oh, that's right. Thank you.

[F]

Nice one.

[A]

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[A]

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[F]

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[A]

Personally, I'd redeem my points for I use fitness classes.

[F]

Oh, dude, you know, I would love.

[A]

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[F]

Oh, yeah, student loan.

[A]

I'm still paying my student loans through the Bilt.

[B]

It's really cool.

[A]

I went to DeVry. Anything else?

[B]

Rams.

[A]

I select restaurants. You know, like what? Give me one. Oh, Italian food. They have it.

[F]

Yeah. Halal food.

[A]

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[D]

Yeah.

[F]

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[C]

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[A]

You know what guy?

[F]

Tell me about it.

[A]

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[A]

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[F]

Nice one.

[A]

Anyway, you're very short. Welcome to the show. Elisa Gilbert, entertaining all over the world, you know. Yeah, you. You. You've been busy, huh?

[E]

Huh?

[A]

Yeah, tell us all of it.

[C]

You've been busy, too, brother.

[A]

Hey, brother. Sister.

[C]

Sister. Cousin.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Friend.

[A]

Well, I did. I shot my first special.

[C]

Yes, you did. Yay.

[A]

The whole gang came. Yeah, yeah. And I know this is about you, but I have a little thing about him.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, yeah, tell me.

[A]

No, he pissed me off. Can I just.

[C]

I would love to hear it.

[A]

All right, so he produces Tiger Belly, our podcast.

[B]

Obviously.

[A]

This the thing that you're on now.

[F]

The program we're here.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

That's called the Slept King.

[A]

That's my nickname. So. Yeah. So he is a producer here.

[E]

He has a dude. He got. He went to film school in Colombia.

[A]

What does that have anything to do with anything?

[E]

Well, he wants. That's the part of his, like, pedigree, right? That's just, you know, his qualifications before you tell.

[A]

I took Taekwondo on classes, and I.

[B]

Have a terminal in film. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, I have a purple bell in Taekwondo.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I took Jazzly, I believe, school with.

[B]

With a film program. Yeah.

[A]

What else?

[D]

I was an AV club.

[E]

He was an AV club.

[A]

Oh, that's good.

[E]

That's why you know a lot about movies. Yeah.

[D]

Camera angles and so I heard from.

[A]

The Grape.

[E]

He wasn't done giving his credit.

[D]

He said, dp, like director of photography. Listen, morning announcements, you know.

[E]

You did morning announcements.

[C]

And we. And we should be doing it.

[E]

I know. Wait, there's a certain type of people who did morning announcements there. It's a pipeline. Right.

[C]

Let's me and you say, good morning, high school students, on the count of three. One, two, three.

[E]

Good morning, high school students of the country.

[C]

Oh, I said, on the count of three. Oh.

[F]

Koala.

[A]

Wait, there's one school that is the whole country.

[C]

We're doing that.

[A]

In the country.

[E]

Honestly, after I had a baby, I think I'm going deaf. Like, this isn't like. I really think I'm going. I can't hear anything. I was like, of the country. That's weird, Lisa. But I'll say it.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. So. Good morning, high school from the country students.

[E]

Good morning, high school students.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

One, two, three.

[E]

Good.

[A]

Who's doing it?

[E]

I know. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead.

[C]

Yeah, you did.

[A]

You're the director, then direct.

[C]

I thought we said it already.

[A]

I thought you were dp, Director of photography.

[E]

Okay, you say it now.

[D]

On three, two, one.

[C]

You're saying it.

[F]

Yeah, you're saying it.

[E]

You said you didn't direct.

[B]

Director's direct.

[E]

It's not okay. Anyways.

[A]

No, I want to finish this.

[C]

What kind of announcements did you make?

[D]

Yeah, the lunch menu.

[A]

All right, so three, two, one.

[C]

Action.

[D]

Good morning, North Mesquite Stallions. Welcome to this week of. You make me nervous. Sorry. What?

[A]

Do it. I'm intrigued.

[D]

Good morning, stallions of North Mesquite High School in Mesquite, Texas.

[A]

The lunch.

[C]

Gotta remind them of the city.

[A]

Lunch.

[D]

We're in Mesquite Monday.

[A]

What? What is it? Holy shit.

[D]

Monday lunch is Salisbury steak with a little side of mashed potatoes. If it's not your mom's cooking, then it's not your mom's cooking. I don't know.

[C]

That's such a good catchphrase for the cafeteria.

[A]

Really good. Dude. That's really good. Yeah.

[C]

It's not your mom's cooking, then it's not your mom.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah.

[C]

It's so simple. It's so beautiful. So true.

[A]

I don't remember there being an announcement.

[E]

We didn't have it in our school. We were a poor high school.

[A]

Yeah. I think. I don't know. We never.

[C]

They just had one kid with a megaphone.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So what happens? The first class, the bell rings and somebody makes an announcement, like, good at.

[E]

Bob, did you ever go to school? I did, but there's a theory about people who do morning announcements. And it's a pipeline and it's a thing on Tick Tock where they're like, if you did morning announcement, what are you doing now? And it's always people either who are in entertainment or are doing adult comedic entertainment.

[F]

Asian.

[C]

Asian. Asian.

[E]

Adult comedic entertainment.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

Wow.

[E]

But, yeah, there's a certain type or.

[C]

What, like news people.

[E]

News. One of them was like a big, like, brand founder, like, just there. I'll send you that.

[C]

Successful people.

[E]

Yeah, successful types.

[C]

Outgoing types.

[E]

Anyways, back to Jorge.

[A]

Wait, wait. Good. I'm gonna Try one.

[C]

Go ahead.

[A]

Good morning. My voice is too deep.

[E]

It's good.

[F]

It's fine.

[A]

I'm gonna be a kid.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Hi. You know what I mean. I'm Marvin Alohe. I just cut a crib. Good morning, poway, high school students. It's Olohe. Marvin. Marvin Olohe. Yeah. And Today's lunch is SpaghettiOs with a little bit of marinade. And we also got Rut. Rut, what are you doing?

[D]

It's because we put our morning announcements on the high school page, but I'm trying to look for them.

[C]

Yours would still be up there.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But Jaime, I'm doing something.

[D]

Oh, Gilbert, can you look up 2015 North Mesquite Morning Announcements. The A.V. club.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

Good flow, Jaime.

[A]

Very good flow, Jaime. I'm just gonna go back to this now.

[C]

I liked this little character you were doing.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Anyway, so I'm shooting my first special. We're insane.

[B]

Congratulations. It was great.

[A]

Okay. Thank you. And what happens is Monday. Last Monday, I woke up with a severe sore throat and body aches. Sick. Now I'm panicking, right. So I get the iv, the whole thing. And then Friday comes about.

[C]

I'm allergic to people talking about being sick.

[A]

Yeah. So I show up Friday, very stressful. You know, I do it at the San Diego Balboa Theater. I did four shows. And then the shows went well. I took a steroid shot from my throat. Cause I was losing my throat. There was a lot of chaos going on. But at the end of the day, I think we got what we needed. And it was a good time. And everyone showed up for me. And thank you so much. Clap for that. Clap for that. Right. Thank you. But then yesterday, I found out some of the antics he was pulling. You know what I mean? Without. I wasn't privy to, number one. You gave the director notes?

[B]

I asked him if I could be in it. I asked him.

[A]

You asked him.

[B]

What would you like? Any. Can I give you. Can I give you any. Suggest proposal. Can I give you any proposals?

[C]

Okay. So you made him a very indecent proposal. What was the note that you had?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Before seeing you say. Say it again. And I get to.

[A]

But that's not a fucking directing note. That's a performance note. You should have just gone. Come to me directly and go, why don't you try this?

[B]

I don't. I don't know.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Things go through the director. Things go through the director.

[A]

No, no, no. I'm. You. You were in the room with me. The whole fucking time.

[C]

And he's so fucking nice. You could just tell him anything.

[A]

Look how approachable he is.

[B]

You have so much going through your head. You don't take. You don't talk to the talent directly unless they ask you. Go through the director.

[A]

I asked one. I asked one how things going? How things going? How do you think things are going?

[B]

Well, if you have too much in your head, it might not have gone as well.

[C]

I agree. I think that's the right move. Yeah, I think it's true. I mean, you don't bother the bride on her wedding day. Everyone knows.

[B]

And I felt bad for.

[C]

Yeah, you tell the wedding planner. You see what I'm saying?

[A]

Damn.

[F]

This is turned.

[A]

It's turn.

[F]

It's turned, brother.

[C]

He's just looking out for you. Because it's true. It's like when you're on set, you can't.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[B]

I think I did too extra to bother the director.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. I understand. I understand what's going on. I know what's going on. All right, here's the second thing. Then let me go to the second.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

All right. All right.

[F]

Get ready, bro.

[A]

Yeah. So apparently, in closed doors, when I wasn't even around, right, you said when the special comes out that I won't be doing new or I'll be doing the same act. Did you not say that? Did you not say that? As if I'm like, I'm lazy or I'm a lazy piece of shit.

[B]

I'm saying.

[A]

And you were adamant about it. And people that. The witnesses that I heard from. Right, Were like, he was being serious.

[B]

You want to do a bet right now? Not the same act, some of the same jokes.

[A]

What?

[B]

I said, you want to do a bet right now that you won't. If you throw a new joke out there and it doesn't crush, you won't go back to tried and true material that crushes because you love to crush on stage. You love to crush. So you're gonna go. If you panic with a new material and it doesn't work, you're gonna throw an old joke in there that crushes, and you're gonna make the audience happy because that's what you do.

[E]

I really, really didn't want to take George's side on this. I promise you, I want to take it.

[B]

I'll make some money on it right now.

[E]

But I will say that what George is saying is he's just a repetition of things you've expressed to us about. Like what? How you're like on a Saturday night.

[A]

I'm sorry, Lisa. I'm sorry, Lisa.

[E]

On a Saturday night, you want and you pressure to crush. So you usually.

[A]

No, stop.

[E]

Okay. But I'm just saying, I'm. George, I'm. I. I hear what you're saying. I don't want to pile on.

[A]

And you. You were piling on.

[E]

He loves you.

[A]

The pylon machine, it was going like a leaf blower. What? So I don't know. I. I don't know. I just made that up. There's no leaf bow.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Pylon. Fun fact is a Canadian and British word for traffic cone. It is.

[A]

It is.

[C]

P, Y, L, O, N. Wow. Pylon.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you for that. I did not know that information.

[C]

I'm trying to break the tension.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would like to defend myself real quick. Okay, cool. I talked to the store, right. And I go, I'm not calling in until I have 15. All right? So I'm doing belly room spots until I have a strong enough 15 that I could do the or main room. All right. Because I'm going to force myself not to do any old jokes.

[E]

Wow.

[A]

Okay. If I do, it would cause me so much shame. Right. And I. I don't want to feel that anymore. So I think you're wrong. And if you want to bet money on it, I will. I'm willing to bet money now. Go ahead, Alex.

[F]

I was in the room.

[A]

All right. Tell him. Go. Yeah, go to the mic. All right.

[F]

So George.

[A]

When George. Sorry, George.

[F]

When we are. When it first came up, George did.

[E]

Who else was in the room first?

[A]

Gene Hong.

[E]

Ej.

[A]

Ej.

[F]

Yeah, I was. Not that. I don't know who else was.

[A]

Oh, Ramsey, I think, was in there.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

All right. So when George first said it, we all disagreed with George, because the way he. The way he first said it.

[A]

And he said it in a negative tone. Correct. Well, in another.

[F]

It's Columbia, guys. It's natural. Columbia. I mean, I disagreed with him.

[B]

Remember I told you I thought you were wrong?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

You're a hero right now.

[F]

I'm a hero.

[A]

You're wrong.

[C]

Bobby's the best.

[F]

I need a raise. I mean, I'll take some more. But George did re. Clarify, and he said exactly word for.

[A]

Word what he just said right now. Okay. All right. He said if you were doing a set, it wasn't going well.

[F]

You'd go back to an old.

[C]

But is there anything wrong with that? I mean, is it. Is it so shameful to do one show joke from how long is the special?

[A]

37. 45 minutes.

[C]

Okay, so one joke out of 45 minutes. If things aren't going well, peppered in, obviously, people are gonna like the special. So isn't it, like, when a musician plays a Release an album.

[A]

It's not Freebird. I'm not living Skynyrd. I do Freebird, and that's what jokes are like.

[F]

No, people do come back to your shows every year, Bobby, I swear to.

[E]

You, I have watched maybe what, a thousand of your shows, and every single time, there are certain jokes that just hit and make me giggle a thousand times.

[A]

Oh, I want to grow.

[E]

I know.

[F]

Oh, I love that fan.

[B]

I love that fan.

[E]

But I'm just kidding. You do have a Free Bird.

[B]

It is. I have One more. One more, one more, one more, one more.

[A]

Go.

[B]

I saw Cheech and Chong a couple years ago. They played the hits, and I loved it. I didn't want them. Anything off their new album? No, nothing off the new album. All the hits.

[A]

Lisa, how was everything?

[B]

Cheech came out in the pink tutu and everything, and it was great.

[C]

Bobby, I'm sorry. You're in a room full of people that. No, no, no. P, Y, L, O, N. Yeah, Pylon.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

I'm just trying to diffuse.

[A]

Geez.

[C]

Thank you.

[F]

Oh, I do have to bring up one thing.

[A]

Oh.

[F]

Last time Lisa was here, you told a very specific story that she was shocked by when you said you stood up Michael Bay on Thanksgiving the first time she was here. Bobby has a new story.

[C]

You did again?

[A]

No, I went because of you.

[C]

You went to Michael Bay?

[F]

He called Michael Bay, said, can I go through Thanksgiving?

[C]

No.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I called him.

[F]

You called to record, tell the story?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I called Michael Bay. I go, hey, you doing Thanksgiving again? He goes, yeah, why? I go, can I come? And I went. He went to Michael Bay's.

[C]

When was the last time you talked to him before this?

[A]

Months.

[C]

Months.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Before.

[C]

That's Months is not.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I went. And now I'm sitting in the biggest mansion I've ever seen in my life, right? With me, Michael Bay's mom sitting across from me.

[C]

Hot.

[A]

Him, his girlfriend, and a couple of, like, arms dealers, I think they were, you know, those guys with the. They're, you know, kind of Araby.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

With turtleneck, black turtlenecks.

[E]

Security.

[A]

Yeah. They don't really talk that much.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. They have jowls.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Jowls.

[C]

You mean like in, like, with fat or facial hair?

[A]

Facial hair. Fat. Jowls.

[C]

Oh. Oh, I know what you're talking about.

[A]

Do you?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, and they're sitting there like that at dinner, and I spent hours there.

[C]

And did you love it?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay, what happened? Where'd you get your change of heart?

[A]

You. Because the last time we talked about it, you were like. We were like. You should have gone. Like, how could you? You know what I mean? Dis. That's it. What?

[E]

Nothing. I didn't say anything.

[A]

I've smiled, and this time I went. And I'm gonna go again next year.

[D]

Nice. Nice.

[C]

That's very good.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And we saw a movie together.

[C]

Transformers. No, he only sees his.

[A]

Yeah, the Rock. No, which is.

[E]

I love the Rock.

[A]

Yeah. And he was a great movie, but I went. And then we went. He went. You wouldn't. Would you like to go down to my theater and watch a movie?

[C]

Oh, it was at his house. Of course.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I go, yeah, I'll go to your theater.

[C]

Just the two of you?

[A]

No, it was a bunch of us.

[C]

Oh, one big blanket.

[A]

And we saw. We saw Running man, the new one.

[C]

Cool.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Which I kind of like. It was fine, you know, and then.

[C]

Popcorn.

[A]

Yeah, there was popcorn candies.

[C]

Did he have, like, a little candy bar down there?

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

Like a little snack place for the movie theater.

[A]

I think I remember there being popcorn. That's it.

[C]

But did you have to take it from the kitchen?

[A]

No, there's no kiosk or something like that. You know what I mean?

[C]

No, no. No one's selling it. But Lemlies like, a little place for the candy to be down there. I mean, if you're rich enough, why do you have to, like, schlep your popcorn from the kitchen to the movie theater like a peasant?

[A]

Because. Have you ever been to. Obvious you have.

[C]

Have you ever been to, like, Michael Bay's house?

[A]

Yes, obviously.

[C]

Obviously.

[A]

Have you been to, like. You know what I mean? A friend of yours. They're doing very well in their gigantic house. Yeah, right. And you don't want to touch anything and fuck it up.

[C]

I touch everything.

[A]

Oh, you do?

[C]

Yeah. Because you know what? The richer the people, the more the cleaners they have. They don't even know the possessions they own or what order they're placed in. You could take.

[A]

Never know. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Not that I have or thought about it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that is true. They won't notice.

[C]

They won't.

[A]

Yeah. But I.

[D]

What's his house? Richie Rich.

[C]

What's his house?

[A]

What's his house?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Richie Rich, he has a roller coaster. He has a McDonald's. He has a Professor Bean that makes new technology.

[D]

When I was a kid, I love that movie. I was like, damn, get that famous. You should have a McDonald's in here.

[C]

So he. Oh, yeah, he. He was born rich, though.

[A]

Yeah. Richie Wish was born rich.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Remember his mobile, like, mobile thing above his crib was dollar signs?

[D]

Oh, yeah, you.

[C]

And I love that movie.

[D]

I wish I was.

[A]

Oh, that was an actual movie. Yeah, that was a cartoon.

[C]

It is, but it's a movie based off the cartoon. And look, and he makes friends, and the friends are all, like, dirty regular kids. And then he brings them in in his little sweater vest.

[A]

Is it Melcoli cocking? Yes.

[C]

Yes, of course. Oh, sweet.

[A]

Yeah. Wow.

[C]

And here's McDonald's in his house.

[F]

Is it a Philippine McDonald's?

[E]

And he had an amusement park. His parents were in, like, a plane crash.

[C]

Bobby, you're his chapel ganger. Yeah, he did the morning announcements, for sure.

[A]

That's not the kid from Spider man, is it?

[F]

No, no.

[E]

Really old movie from her childhood.

[A]

All right.

[C]

That's Professor Bean, Keith Keen.

[A]

Oh, is his name Bean Keen?

[F]

I think so.

[A]

Yeah. I've never seen. There's not a lot of children movies, even as a kid that I saw back in the day. I never saw Home Alone. No, I know, because of. I've been Around. I know bits and pieces of it.

[E]

Did you. Did your parents, like, sing, like, children's songs or play children's programming around you?

[C]

Yeah, like Mr. Rogers.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. My dad would sing Christmas all the time. Happy birthday to you.

[C]

That's my favorite Christmas song.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. No, he didn't. Remember that old joke? I should have done this.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

My dad would sing Christmas songs, but make up the words.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And one of the jokes was Frosty. He a good guy.

[C]

That's so funny how, like, the energy was starting to tank, so you started leaning on, like, good old material just then.

[A]

You're right. I do do that.

[F]

Holy.

[A]

I did do that just now. Oh, my God.

[B]

Lisa.

[F]

Got you, Gilroy.

[E]

Got you.

[A]

Oh, my God, I'm a failure. I'm sweating. Okay, let's go.

[C]

Okay. But you having never seen Home Alone really intrigues me, because I'd love to know what you think. Describe the whole plot in your mind having heard.

[A]

Well, he's a kid. Home Alone. Right.

[C]

But how to get home alone.

[A]

Oh, God, that's interesting, because this would.

[C]

Be me with Star Wars. Like, I've never seen it, but I've Heard so much.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I'll be. I'll give you the honest. What I think.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Their family was going somewhere and they forgot them.

[C]

Where? Okay, great.

[A]

Right. They were out to dinner.

[C]

How do you think they forgot them?

[A]

I don't know. They have a big family, maybe a bunch of kids, and they're in. They're all going to go to dinner, and then they're like. And then they're at dinner, and they're like, where's Macaulay?

[C]

The whole movie takes place with a family that has gone out for dinner, and a child is left at home for the night.

[A]

Well, I don't know, man. Well, he's seen it.

[C]

He's there for days and days by himself.

[E]

Days.

[A]

I don't know the premise they leave for. For the information. I know. Based on Home Alone, I thought I did a pretty good job.

[C]

Oh, okay, so that's interesting. You thought the whole movie took place in one night where the family goes out for dinner and they leave the boy at home. Yeah, that's so interesting.

[A]

Yeah. Because I know that there's robbers because Joe Pecci's in it, right?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

So I know there's robbers and Daniel Stern.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So I know that they're in there. So maybe they're at dinner and they're like, well, we'll just go home. We're almost done with dinner. And we got something from Macaulay. I don't know his name in it. Right. So. But during that thing, there's robbers, and I thought that maybe he was fighting them off. Yeah, yeah. In a war.

[C]

Except for, isn't it even more titillating to know that he was home alone for, like, four nights?

[A]

That's in. Well, that's bad parenting. That's bad parenting.

[C]

Well, the family goes to Paris.

[F]

They forgot him.

[A]

Well, how do you forget your kid?

[C]

And that's what we're saying.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

How do you forget your kids?

[E]

But you were correct about there were too many people around and too many kids and family. It was a huge family.

[C]

And you were also correct that they did eat dinner at one point.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

The family.

[C]

I'm sure at some point in the movie, the family's eating dinner night before.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And you know, Macaulay Cohen's brother's in it, too.

[A]

Rory.

[C]

Or famously, Kieran.

[A]

Was it Kieran or Rory?

[C]

Oh, I forgot about Rory.

[A]

I love Rory.

[C]

Damn. Was it Kieran or Rory? It was Kieran. It was Karen.

[F]

Oh, I think it was Karen.

[C]

Kieran plays Fuller.

[D]

Who?

[A]

Okay, yes. So Kieran's in it. And Rory was in Signs, one of my favorite movies.

[E]

Right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so they leave him for a week. No, A week, four days, something like that.

[D]

It's three nights.

[C]

Is it three nights? Okay, yeah, I guess that makes sense. Rule of three, comedy number.

[A]

Also interesting is no one poos in movies.

[C]

Oh, no. Kevin McCallister. Macaulay Culkin. He poos in that movie. You see it. You see him pull down his pants, and he sits on the toilet and he poos. And you hear it drop into the toilet, and you see him wipe his butt, and you see him look at the toilet paper and show it to the camera.

[A]

I poo.

[F]

I pooed. I'm home alone.

[C]

It's a famous scene. That's when he goes like. He's going, I poo. You have to see.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

[C]

It actually, I think, broke a Guinness World record, because it was the first movie that I think that showed somebody wiping out their ass.

[A]

Oh, you're not. You're not kidding.

[C]

No, it literally, like, won an award for that. Yeah, I think he got an Academy Award.

[A]

It was like, you're kidding, right?

[E]

And they.

[C]

And. And no, because Macaulay Culkin actually had to poop in it. Like, the. He. He had. He did an interview. He's like, they wouldn't do props for it. They were like, you need to actually. They give. They give him beans for days. Remember the beans in. Remember.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

That was my favorite with wall.

[E]

Remember when math out.

[C]

Yeah. And he has to feed all the beans to the guy who kidnapped him.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That was kind of horny to me.

[A]

When I brought the poo, you know? I mean, I thought it would have been interesting to thing to go off on, but I guess there's a lot.

[E]

Of movies with poo.

[A]

Yeah, no, like in Die Hard, you know, he's got that. He's running on glass.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? At one point, he had to go to the bathroom, but they just don't show it, which is interesting.

[C]

No, but it's just one night. Die Hard. You could hold the poo for night if there's an emergency. I'm sure you could hold your poo.

[A]

Oh, you saw Die Hard?

[C]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. It's one night. You're right.

[C]

One night.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, that's a good point, but that's a tough night.

[C]

Yeah, it's a tough night, but I think if your wife has a gun pointed at her head, you don't need to go to the bathroom anymore.

[A]

Oh, that's right. She was down there with Harry Potter guy. What's his name?

[C]

Mr. You know, he's like, Snape.

[A]

Is that Snape?

[C]

Do you think you can catch us now, Mr. Cowboy?

[A]

You know that show that you do on the YouTube? It's so funny. Were you dressed up as a lion or something?

[C]

Oh, the dropout show. Yeah. This is like talking to my dad about what I'm doing in college.

[A]

No, but it's. It's really good.

[C]

The. That, like, big, yellow monster thing.

[A]

Yeah. I've always wanted to do that show where it's like, you should, Bobby. I don't think that it would have me.

[F]

Very important people.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Interview with.

[F]

Very important.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. But I would love to challenge myself to do it now. Can I ask you about that show?

[C]

Of course.

[A]

So they. You don't know what you're going to be dressed up as.

[C]

That's right. Right.

[A]

So. But you're in makeup, and while they're put. Applying things to your face, you. You're kind of developing it there, right?

[C]

No, because you have your eyes closed. And also they're so sneaky. Like, so you have your eyes closed in this prosthetics makeup chair for, like, three hours, and they're poking and prodding, and they do sneaky things. Like, they'll put a glove on you, and then later they'll take it off. Or they'll put some sort of crazy wig so you can see the bangs of it. And then before the reveal, they remove it and put something else, like they're really trying to with you. But most of the time, you just. Just you. You don't know.

[A]

Oh, so there's probably no mirrors, then.

[C]

No, there's no mirrors.

[A]

Right.

[C]

You get to look at yourself. Like, this video is looking in the mirror for the first time. Oh, no, it's not. This is the getting done.

[A]

But before you shoot, you see yourself.

[C]

No, they shoot you seeing yourself for the first time, and you get two minutes to come up with whatever character you're gonna be.

[A]

Oh, my. That's amazing.

[C]

So this. I had my eyes closed the whole time. The only time I opened them, they put yellow contacts in, and I could tell the contacts were yellow because I could see the rims of them.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

But I didn't know anything else.

[A]

Wow, that sounds so fun.

[C]

It is fun.

[A]

Were you nervous?

[C]

Very tricky. I don't get nervous because you can't really, like, prepare for it anyways.

[E]

Right.

[A]

You don't get nervous at all, do you?

[C]

Not. Not usually really.

[A]

Like, when you were doing Black Mirror, you Weren't nervous?

[C]

No, because that. That you get a few takes to do that.

[A]

You know, these. The younger kids. I just said about the younger kids. They're just so grounded and you know what I mean?

[C]

Well, like, when we were in high school in 2015 doing the announcements, we were never nervous because, you know, what do you have to lose?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

We're just flying through space and everybody's gonna die so soon.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's just. Yeah, but that's just healthy. Me. It was like, if you fuck, I look in the mirror. If you fuck up on this line, dude, it's over. It's fucking over, dude. Perfect. Do it perfect.

[C]

Yeah, but you get multiple takes. You know that.

[A]

But then you realize. Yeah, through time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What you realize when you. You're in something, and then someone, like, supposed to be, like, really good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Doesn't know their line.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I love when actors never. I go, oh, you don't even know.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You're allowed to make mistakes.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yes. Yeah. But I didn't think that for the first 10 years in the business. I put a lot of pressure on myself.

[C]

It seems like you still do kiss.

[A]

I do do.

[C]

But when do you think you'll, like, be fully realized? Like, when do you think there'll be a time in your life where you're like, ah, I'm Bobby Lee, and it feels good to be me. Like, how old do you think you'll be? 93? Deathbed?

[A]

No, no, I think I'm there now.

[E]

He's close. I think he's.

[A]

I'm pretty close, yeah.

[C]

Oh, that's interesting, because a second ago, I saw you screaming at all the people.

[A]

I think it was the steroids that time.

[E]

I think it's a steroids.

[A]

Yeah. Well, because I lost my voice Saturday, and I called Kalila because she was in town in San Diego.

[F]

It was the doctor.

[A]

Basically, she was the base of the doctor. And I go, what do I do? I lost my voice.

[C]

And she came with a big needle of steroids.

[A]

No, she found me like, a makeshift doctor.

[C]

Makeshift?

[E]

He's a concierge doctor. He's a real doctor. And he did a house call. And, you know, it's the shot they give to, like, Adele if she needs to perform, but she's sick, so.

[C]

Did you sound like her?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Hello.

[A]

It'S me.

[C]

You're like. You're trying to say your act V, but you can't. It's just a del.

[E]

But then I had told him. I was like, hey, like, you're gonna feel aggro and, like, wired. So just, like, chill out and don't snap at people.

[C]

But why did you tell him that? Because he's so susceptible. His brain is like a sponge. You should have said, you're gonna feel confident and funny. And then he would have been like, the steroids aren't working.

[E]

He did. He did say that. But then I told the reason I had to tell him is because he usually slams Red Bulls and all these stimulants. So I was like, hey, chill out on the Red Bulls and stuff, because you're already gonna feel, like, amped. And he did feel amped.

[C]

Where did they shoot it?

[A]

In my shoulder.

[C]

In your shoulder?

[A]

Yeah, in my shoulder? Yeah, he put in the shoulder. And I had an IV. I had a couple of IVs, too.

[E]

Oh, they bruised you on that one?

[A]

Yeah, no, because I did it. Oh, they bruised me.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Two. Two times. It went through here, though. Maybe.

[E]

Yeah, you're a little bruised there. But did it help, though? Like, your voice actually came back to life.

[A]

It's. I don't know if you heard my voice fried. You've heard of Friday night, right? Yeah, it was.

[F]

You weren't talking anymore.

[A]

I was not talking anymore. And then, as the day goes, like, it's not working. I was like this. It was not working. It's not working. It's not working. It's working.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

It was like that.

[C]

How does it work? Does anyone know the science?

[E]

Yeah, it just basically, if you're inflamed here, it just knocks down all inflammation.

[C]

Wow.

[E]

Yeah. Because he was sick.

[A]

Yeah. And then Gene brought Chinese.

[E]

What kind?

[F]

That red bottle?

[E]

Tcm.

[F]

Something like that.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Because, you know, Gene's friends with Adam Levine.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's like, adam Levine uses this. I don't know if it was psychological.

[F]

He might have made that up.

[A]

Yeah, maybe. But when I sipped it, I'm like, it's working too.

[E]

I bet it did. It's probably warm and.

[A]

It's warm. Honey.

[C]

Ish.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Has, like, a minicital.

[E]

Medicinal.

[A]

What?

[E]

Medicinal.

[A]

Medicinal taste.

[C]

Okay. No, it's an honor to watch you learn.

[A]

That.

[F]

It's what Chinese opera singers use.

[A]

Chinese opera Center.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. And then my agent was like, trevor, Noah uses this. So he got me some of that.

[F]

Which is that everyone's just name dropping.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

People.

[A]

No, I'm naming it. I'm name dropping.

[C]

Wait, what fruit was that involved with?

[F]

That was a nectar. Nectarine.

[A]

It's a nectarine. Yeah. Yeah. But all of it pretty much helped. And by the time. Because I have one joke where I have to screech, oh, no. Yeah, I know. And you hit it. I hit it. You know what I mean.

[C]

So is that the one you wanted him to be louder on?

[A]

You're so good at callbacks. Is that one.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You get loud on that one.

[A]

All right. Do you have any. Be real. Any performance aside from that one thing? Any performance nods?

[B]

No, those were the two things that you can also just fix in editing if you like the notes.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

And Facetune has, like, body editing, so you could give yourself tits or whatever. Make your waist itty bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Big fat ass. Whatever you want. You can do it in adr.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I. You know what's so funny? She's great.

[F]

Why are you so quiet today?

[A]

Yeah, you're very quiet today.

[D]

It's because I'm thinking about the ham and grilled. The ham and cheese. Grilled cheese. You had grilled cheese?

[F]

This whole episode you've been thinking about a grilled cheese.

[C]

What is it? That sounds good.

[A]

Ham and cheese grilled sandwich.

[D]

The ham and cheese grilled sandwich.

[C]

You saw him eating and it looked good.

[D]

No, no, he had him, like, in his catering.

[B]

Like, let's say you're doing morning announcements. How would you describe it?

[C]

Yeah, how would you describe it for cafeteria announcement?

[D]

What the Grilled. That one for breakfast today.

[C]

Save the city.

[F]

Another mesquite.

[D]

You guys know what school this is?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

What's up, pirates? Oh, wait. What's up? I went to South Garland and they had. Oh, my God. What's that guy?

[A]

Kids are in class are like, he's talking to him. He's having a mental breakdown.

[D]

What's the. Oh, what's up, Confederates?

[A]

That was a.

[C]

That.

[D]

That was your mascot in South Garden. South Garden High School.

[C]

Mine was. My mascot was the Gaylords.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. Fun.

[E]

What do they look like?

[C]

Strathcona? Gaylords. It was like a lion in a little tiny sweater. Yeah, I don't know why I'm.

[A]

Titans.

[C]

That's cool.

[A]

That's cool. What's yours?

[E]

Vikings.

[A]

Oh, the Vikings. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Anyway, go the Confederates is right.

[F]

I did not go to your high school.

[A]

Man, he's losing his mind.

[D]

No, yeah, they had ham and grilled tea sandwiches.

[C]

Okay, romance it.

[D]

Romance it. What do you mean?

[E]

Your own announcement.

[C]

Like, okay, pretend you're a waiter at a restaurant. You're like, today's special is a. And then talk about the sandwich for 35 seconds.

[A]

No. Why don't we do this Right. You're doing a commercial. Okay. All right. It's a two shot. Okay. It's you and Lisa.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

All right. And it's for this new Hammond. Right. Okay, action.

[C]

I'm hungry. What do you got?

[D]

I'm not in a mood for anything heavy. Maybe just like a sandwich or something.

[C]

But you're the waiter.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. She went. Disagreement on that.

[D]

No, I thought you were like.

[A]

No, no, actually she did add information. She did, she did. And let's start over. Really good. Really good. A date or that's what the improv is going to sound.

[C]

Okay, I'll let you lead. However, is best you for you to explain the sandwich.

[D]

No, it's you.

[A]

All right. And action.

[D]

Hey, Lisa, thanks for coming on this date with me. What are you in a mood for?

[C]

I guess I'm in a mood for a sandwich, but I can't read the menu here.

[D]

I can.

[C]

What does it say?

[D]

They have the chef special, the grilled ham. Ham and cheese.

[A]

Grilled.

[C]

Oh, that sounds good. Say more about that.

[D]

It looks like it has American cheese. You know how Americans are. And. And ham. It's baloney and it's grilled. It sounds good.

[C]

It does sound good.

[D]

I think we should take two.

[C]

Let's take two.

[A]

Let's take two and then go to the camera and talk about. Yeah.

[D]

Hey, guys, Come down to Mel's Diner with the word. The chef's specials is the ham and cheese grilled sandwich only at Mel's Diner on Sunset. Please come and you'll get a hot girl like me. And it's not guaranteed. No.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I just think it's so crazy that you want to talk about this ham and cheese sandwich and you have nothing to say about it. We asked you to say more and all you could say is it's ham, it's cheese. It's ham, it's cheese. Yeah, you did say something. Cheese with ham.

[E]

The ham is bologna. Ham isn't even ham. The ham is bologna.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I think probably ham can be. No, bologna could be ham. But ham's not always bologna.

[E]

I don't think ham is bologna.

[C]

What is bologna?

[F]

That's correct.

[E]

That's correct.

[A]

Yeah. What is bologna?

[E]

Bologna is.

[F]

It's like mortadella.

[E]

Mortadella.

[A]

It's a mortadella. Right. It's not a Hamilton ham.

[C]

It's like a mix.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. Okay.

[F]

Pork, beef, chicken, turkey.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Bologna.

[D]

Okay. It wasn't bologna. It was ham. Honey ham. It was honey ham.

[C]

Oh, that does sound good.

[A]

Yeah. Honey ham. Yeah.

[C]

You guys ever like A little thin little wedge of apple or something in your.

[A]

Oh my God. You're. You're speaking to the choir.

[E]

What? You almost karate kid.

[A]

Wow. No, don't. Really? Rang true.

[C]

He's the karate kid himself. I love that.

[A]

I love a little.

[C]

I love a little sweet. Sweet and savory.

[A]

I like sweetened salads too. What do you think?

[C]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Like a strawberry or like a little fig or like a little pecan.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

A candied walnut.

[C]

Craisin.

[A]

Yeah, a Craisin. Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Do you remember that salad in Tulsa with ice cream?

[C]

What? Yeah, we were in the salad.

[A]

Cheese ice cream.

[E]

Yeah. Instead of the dressing it was ice cream.

[C]

And so they just put a scoop of it on and it's your.

[A]

No, it's not just ice cream though. Cuz I went there a bunch of times when I was shooting that thing and I'm so braggy I shouldn't say what it is.

[E]

Talk about it.

[A]

No, let me just rewind.

[D]

Rewind.

[A]

That's that place. You're right. Ice cream salad. But it's not regular ice cream. It's sort of like a condensed feta cheese ice cream. So it has, you know, and it's sweet. It was foamy. A little sweet, but it was feta cheese. It was really delicious.

[C]

Foamy.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean you don't like foaming?

[C]

I don't know, Homie. Reminds me of like, you know, when you're in like a really stinky lake or something, there's like some foam that gets foamed up on the beach.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[C]

I don't like that.

[A]

I don't like that foam.

[C]

You're an ocean girl.

[E]

Yeah. When you stay away from the foam.

[C]

So you don't. There's still things you don't like about the ocean.

[E]

The foam.

[A]

What is the foam?

[E]

I don't know. It's usually like leftover. Yes. It's. I associate it with dirty water, except if it's like, you know, from a wave. But that's different foam. Yeah, you're right. It's like gross debris.

[C]

Would you drink, like swallow ocean water? I have a lot, like on accident.

[E]

Yeah. And I've like had diarrhea from ocean water.

[C]

Because you're doing like tricks and flips on a surfboard. Are you flipping an ollie?

[E]

No, but I die.

[A]

That's.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

That's all foam, baby.

[E]

Oh, I don't like that.

[A]

That's disgusting. That is disgusting.

[F]

Said some of it is toxic waste from sewage.

[A]

Oh, man. Don't go in there.

[E]

It's like, sludgy.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[C]

Why are people enjoying it so much?

[F]

They think it's natural.

[E]

Yeah, they don't know any better.

[C]

Do you guys ever go to a foam party?

[E]

I did once and I broke out in, like, the worst rash ever. Oh. Ever.

[C]

I don't think I've ever been to one.

[A]

What's a foam party?

[C]

I think it's for, like, hot girls in white outfits with puka shell necklaces in Mexico with their bachelorette party.

[E]

Exactly. That's exactly what it is.

[C]

Off the top of my head, I've never been inv.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I don't really understand it, though.

[C]

It just feels like a hair and makeup ruiner.

[E]

Useless. Yeah, it's.

[C]

Is it supposed to be sexy?

[E]

I think so. What's the time of. You're nodding. You've been to a couple.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, they usually do them at raves.

[C]

So what's the, like, why.

[D]

I think the biggest one is the EDC foam party. It's a bunch of people.

[C]

But what is it about the foam?

[E]

But is it, like, a sensory experience?

[D]

It's the foam and the neon lights and, like, the good DJ and just everybody on Ecstasy and, like, Molly and I. I never done this.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

I don't do Molly.

[A]

You know, sometimes you see a human being go, how did they survive this long?

[D]

Yeah, man, you keep.

[A]

You ever say that? You ever.

[C]

Well, he hasn't been around for very long.

[A]

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

[D]

I used to have. I used to hear, not in the industry.

[F]

Yeah, this is. See Jaime's party.

[A]

Oh, you guys. After the show. My show. You went to the club? I heard.

[C]

God, that's the fucking driest foam party I've ever. That sucks. There's no phone.

[E]

She told me.

[A]

Do you still. Do. Do you still go clubbing?

[C]

I went for New Year's. I went to the club.

[A]

Oh, you did?

[C]

But I don't often go with a.

[A]

Bunch of girls or.

[C]

Your husband just went with my husband.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Clubbing is a dying art form. It needs to come back. I'm glad you went.

[C]

It was fun. I mean, it's fun to go. I think the perfect combo is just go with one other person. Going with anywhere in a group is Nightmare on Elm Street. Just got to be.

[A]

Yeah, I just. You know, it's so dark in there and so loud. I just feel scary.

[C]

Right. Like haunted house.

[A]

Yeah, kind of like one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you like haunted houses?

[A]

You know, I went. I went on a date with a ghost. No, no.

[C]

And she brought you home.

[A]

And she goes, no, she Goes. It's the scariest haunted house on the West Coast.

[D]

Whoa.

[A]

Right? I'm like, all right, let's go. We spent some of vip, obviously, you know, I mean, and we.

[C]

Vip, Haunted house. What is that, like a clear entrance nobody jumps out at?

[A]

No, no, because there's so many people, you know what I mean, that you kind of go in, you know, instead of with a big group, you're just experiencing by yourself.

[C]

So you're on a. Bobby.

[A]

What?

[C]

You don't, like, hugs? And you're on a haunted house date with a woman. Yeah, she's gonna want a hug.

[A]

Yeah, I held her hand, but that's.

[C]

As far as you'll go.

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

Nasty bitch.

[A]

When it comes to somebody I'm intimate with, I hug, I do all, I caress all, the whole thing, but it takes a while. Yeah, no, it doesn't take a while.

[C]

No, he.

[E]

Yeah, he hugs. He's very, like, affectionate. Just when he wants to be affectionate. Like, if you wanted affection and he wasn't in the mood, you'd be rejected.

[C]

I was rejected this morning.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Remember?

[A]

I didn't even see you go in for one. It's fucking crazy.

[C]

I literally.

[A]

It was just good to see you.

[C]

Yeah. And then.

[A]

Oh, there's Lisa Gilroy.

[C]

Listen, you said. You walked into the room and said, lisa Gilroy. I was sitting down. I stood up with an open posture towards you, and then you started walking away from you. And then I chased you, and I said, come here, you little rascal.

[A]

Oh, that's right.

[C]

And you ran.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

You didn't. Come here, you little rascal.

[A]

I didn't. No. I apologize. And next time in a social setting situation.

[D]

Hey, was he needy?

[A]

Like, if.

[D]

If you. If he. If you didn't text him.

[A]

Dude, you just cut me off, huh?

[C]

Yeah, but I want to know the answer, too.

[D]

Like, if you didn't text him for, like, hours, would he get mad? Or he. Would he, like. No, like, text.

[C]

We send you a voice note.

[E]

Like, help. Yeah. If he woke up and I wasn't at home, it was that. It was like, where are you? But it's mostly because he needed something and no one was around to help. But if.

[A]

Yeah, I need a lot of things.

[E]

Yeah, he needs help.

[A]

I'm hard.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

What do you need?

[A]

Oh, my God. Your butt wiped? No, I mean, pretty close to that.

[E]

Coffee. Is this. Is that.

[C]

Why do you need your co. Well.

[A]

Last night I was like. Because I have a fridge in my room. And last night I went to Jules. I go how come my fridge is in stock?

[E]

Yeah, he's difficult like that.

[C]

But you would say that you would say that to a girlfriend.

[E]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

So you. You need your girlfriend to also be kind of like an assistant to you.

[E]

Yes, but also, if he wanted, like, two days of just, like, video gameplay, like, you couldn't bother him.

[A]

Well, I mean, I like to defend myself with that. May I? You know what I mean?

[C]

Oh, I'd let you give me a blowjob while I was playing. That's intimacy.

[A]

That's not what I was gonna say, but I was saying. I'm just saying that, you know, I mean, when it. You create a lot of memories with your husband.

[C]

Of course.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And is he mindful about it? Like, hey, baby, let's go create some memories.

[C]

He's always taking me on, like, a date, like a special.

[E]

That's sweet.

[A]

That's so sweet.

[C]

I could be very mean. You know, I'm smart enough to be really mean, so you better be nice to me kind of thing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's the.

[C]

That's the vibe.

[A]

Yeah. Are you mean?

[B]

You think?

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

Yeah. I think you're one of the sweetest people in the thing.

[C]

Oh, my God. Bobby, hug me. Jesus Christ.

[A]

So are you promoting it? Are you working on it? Tell us about. Tell us everything.

[C]

Well, I have Super Troopers. That's been announced.

[A]

Oh, that's great.

[C]

Super Troopers 3, the movie.

[A]

Great. Who directed?

[C]

Jay Chandra.

[A]

I love Jay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He's like, we have a problem here at Tiger Bear with Jay. Remember, he flaked on us. Oh, yeah.

[C]

What happened?

[A]

One day, we have Jay. We're sitting in, and he calls me and he goes, oh, fuck. I just completely forgot I was sleeping. I'm like, okay.

[C]

But that would be so you if it was Jay's podcast. What do you think?

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was laughing for a second. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

[A]

No, what I'm saying is I've never. I've always shown up. I've never, like, not gone.

[C]

Except for when it's Michael Bay's house and it's Thanksgiving.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I.

[C]

That was my only issue with that, was that you just didn't.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. And I learned from that. And I. You know, I mean, I decided to. Oh, so there's a lot of fear there. I walked through some fear.

[C]

Right, of course.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But. And I'm not mad at Jay. I think he's a talent guy, and he can. He's welcome back anytime.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

Well, really. Yeah. Let's reach out. You know what I mean? Because he's promoting. He'll be promoting. He'll be doing the role. So you have that and then any TV stuff or.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then I have an. I'm doing something on Apple TV also.

[A]

Coming out like this, and you don't have to tell us what it is, but is it a series regular situation or.

[C]

Yeah. Wow.

[A]

Is it your show?

[C]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Could never be.

[A]

Yeah. And you. You already shot it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's amazing. What was that feeling like?

[C]

I guess it was. The feeling was awesome. We went. We shot it in Austin, so I got to spend a lot of time there, and the city's great.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And I went to the mothership.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

For the first time.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

See what all the hubbub was about.

[A]

Yeah. What do you think?

[C]

Oh, I thought it was some of it. I was like. Like, oh, no. You know. But then afterwards, lots of people there knew me from podcasts, so I was also surprised by that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. There's our. The. Our ecosystem extends to Austin. You know what I mean?

[C]

Hey, very big word. Very cool. That was awesome. Ecosystem. Come on, you guys. That was very cool.

[A]

I don't know what's going on.

[C]

That was a long word, and it.

[A]

Was a. I don't know what's going on here.

[F]

Jaime's going like, what's ecosystem?

[A]

Yeah. Explain to us what ecosystem is.

[D]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[B]

Ecosystem. Ecosystem.

[D]

Ecosys. Ecosystem. System. Like a system of people and eco. Economy is going down. We got to fix that. No, the ecosystem, it's like the nature.

[C]

And of course, nature and.

[A]

Yeah, nature.

[C]

Explain the water cycle really quick.

[D]

Stay away from the foam, fellas. That's it.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

The water cycle. You know what I'm talking about?

[D]

Yeah, yeah. It rains, people drink it and it goes back up.

[C]

Then he piss it out.

[D]

And then piss it out. It goes back up.

[C]

Nice. Yeah, that's it.

[A]

And so the show. Is it an ensemble show?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Is it with Bin?

[C]

Huh?

[D]

Ben. You did a show with Ben, right? Ben Schwartz.

[C]

Oh, Ben Schwartz. Yeah.

[D]

Come on.

[A]

You know Ben.

[C]

I was hearing Ben. No, not. I just did Taisa with. With. With Ben, but I've also done some dropout stuff with Ben, so. Yeah, our. Actually some dropout episodes are coming out.

[A]

Okay, cool.

[C]

Like, make some.

[A]

I'm curious about the show. It's cool.

[C]

Well, I'm curious about the show that. Where you ate the ice cream salad that you want to talk about.

[A]

Oh, very good. So, yeah. So say your show's coming out. Apple will. We don't know what it is, but everyone will anticipate it. Yes, it'll be good. Any movies have you done?

[C]

Yeah, I did a couple this year. I did. You deserve each other. It's like Megan Fahey and Penn Badgley. Rom com.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Love her.

[C]

Yeah. Got to play Megan's sister.

[A]

Wow. So you're now going. You were. You're not going into Hollywood. You're a Hollywood girl now.

[C]

I thought I. Well, I thought it was. Until I realized everyone thought I was Nikki Glaser.

[A]

No, but you're. You're, like, now in it.

[C]

Well, I'm working.

[A]

You're working. That's great.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So in this environment, it's so fucking hard.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So give her a round of applause for that. How you feeling?

[C]

I feel good. Yeah. I feel lucky to be working. I'm doing, like, you know, I do little small rolls here and there. I think no one trusts me to, like. And I don't really want to be the lead of something because then you have to be like. You have to say things.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You have to be like, well, you know me. I always do this with the company, and by the end of the movie, I need to do this. You have to, like, say exposition.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I don't think anyone would ever believe me saying.

[A]

Yeah, I like doing bit parts, too. Yeah, it's fun.

[E]

It's more fun.

[A]

Super fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But. But it's still fun because it's like, you know, you are. I mean, me and Andrew talk about. And we all talk about you, you know, I mean, how just intrinsically funny you are.

[E]

Oh, thank you.

[A]

And you're so kind and just like, it couldn't happen to a nicer person, you know?

[C]

Thanks, Bobby.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I'm being real. Sweetest.

[C]

Cutest thing you've ever said.

[E]

No, I mean, did that feel like a hug?

[C]

Yeah, it did. Yeah.

[A]

I do verbal hugs.

[C]

Yeah. Nice.

[E]

Scary.

[C]

Sounds scary.

[A]

But.

[C]

He'S giving me an oral hug.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then do you. So you don't ever want to do the Lisa Gilroy project?

[C]

I'm working on something that's like just. Just hard comedy, though. Like, nothing like. And like bit pieces, kind of like sketchy kind of.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's another. That's an art form that has kind of a little bit died.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't see a lot. I mean, on Tick Tock, you see people doing sketches, but not like a sketch show. Like, we used to be. We used to have a lot. Yeah, yeah. Why did it die, do you think?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

So sad.

[C]

Mr. Show Key and Peele.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, kids in the hall had one.

[C]

Eliza Schlesinger had one.

[A]

Yeah. But I, I don't think. I don't think sketch show works. Like, I, I've been asked, like, would you ever be interested in doing your own sketch show? I go, I'm interested in doing an ensemble with super funny people. You know what I mean? But it's like, what would you call it?

[C]

Bobby and the what Gang? I know Bobby and the.

[A]

No, it would be like, I don't think I would call it my. For my name.

[C]

Bobby and the Belly Button Boy.

[A]

No, I would. I would like, want to be just a one of many of six people.

[C]

Oh, you want to be on Friends and you want to be Chandler?

[A]

Dude, I would love to be on a Friends.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. NBC tried to do Run Friends was over. Do you remember when I told you that? And they're like, we're going to recreate it but make it hipsters.

[D]

Oh, great.

[A]

Funny, right? So the year after it got canceled.

[C]

I did a pilot called Buds and.

[A]

It was like six hipsters, three guys, three girls living in Chicago.

[C]

Who else was in it? Other comedians?

[A]

It was me.

[C]

Or, sorry, adult comic Entertainer.

[A]

Yeah, it was. What's her name? Let me say it. She's a friend of mine. What the. Oh, God. What.

[F]

Who does she look like?

[D]

What is she?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Describe Zoe Lister Jones.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, my God. I'm seeing Zoe right after this.

[A]

You are?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Tell her I said hi.

[C]

I will.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it was Zoe Alysser Jones. Me, Steve Renaissizi, Steve Howe and me were the guys.

[C]

Oh, wow, this is a wonderful cast. I can't believe this didn't get picked up.

[F]

No.

[A]

Yeah, it was us three as guys and then I forgot who the other two girls was. But anyway, we did it. Obviously. It. It just didn't work. It was single camera. We're all also like in an indie band. You know how they try to. They try to change it to be more like emo and modern band.

[C]

That's fun though, because you are a musician.

[A]

That is true. That is true.

[C]

What other. What are all the instruments that you play? Piano, skin flute.

[A]

Is there anything else I play? I'll be honest with you. If I put dedication into guitar, I think I'd be able to pull that off.

[C]

But can you play any?

[A]

I could play some chords. Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, I can play drums. A little bit, yeah. I think I'm kind of musically inclined. You know, in fact, for my special, I do sing in it.

[E]

You do?

[A]

Yeah, I do it like a Broadway. Not Broadway, but Broadway. Right, Kind of Broadway. Yeah. You know, I vocalize and sing, and I go into the audience. I sing.

[C]

Wow. Like Adele.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it's. So do you ever sing on stage?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, it's. It's hard. Is it hard?

[C]

Well, I only ever do it as, like, a joke, so then I don't find it hard because I feel like if you're not trying to be good, it's actually quite easy. Oh, I've never tried to, like, earnestly sing on stage. I think that would be very scary.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Were you trying to sound good or.

[A]

I was trying to sound pretty good because in the. The first line, they were like, make it serious. Like, really be sincere. So I had the mic, spotlight. Wow.

[C]

Little dress.

[A]

Yeah, little dress. And I looked up in the sky and I sang the first line.

[C]

And you wrote. You wrote a comedy song, but you sang it earnestly.

[A]

It's not really a comedy song. I wouldn't say it was a comedy song. I think it's more sincere than comedy.

[F]

Sincere with some humor.

[A]

There's some humor in it. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

And it's your opening bit?

[A]

No, it's at the end when I close. Yeah, I do a little song.

[C]

Nikki Glaser ended her thing with a song, too, right, that she made.

[E]

That's right. Yeah.

[C]

So it would be cool if next time you did something a bit more original.

[A]

You son of a bitch. You dirty son of a. No. Yeah. But you don't do stand up, right?

[C]

Yeah, I do a little.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But one day you'll do one.

[C]

One day I will. What, Do a special?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You think so? Might take me 30 years to build up an hour.

[A]

I know, but would you. I mean, it would be great if.

[C]

You did one, but does it have to have, like, a through line? Does it have to have like a. Was yours just, like, jokes? You didn't have, like, an overarching theme?

[A]

You know, I. You know, my style is. Oh, it's kind of old school in terms of, like, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. And sometimes I'll, like. I'll go. I'm talking about this and this. And then, like, try to, like, fuse it with a. You know what I mean? With, like, a connector. But now I'm like, it. I don't even care.

[E]

I think you're not giving yourself enough credit. I think There is an overarching theme. I I it.

[A]

Which is what?

[E]

Which is your careful. Your family, your life, a lot of your personal experiences. Like, which is your dad, your mom. Like it. That is most of your jokes, all.

[C]

The stuff that makes you unique. You know, you have a mom, you have a dad, you have a family, you have a past.

[F]

You have some memories.

[E]

Did you not think, Mom?

[B]

No. You're not giving yourself credit. It's a very cohesive special. It feels very.

[A]

It does, yes. Oh, well, I'm not giving myself credit.

[F]

Yeah, give yourself credit right now.

[A]

I'm gonna give myself credit right now. Yeah. It's cohesive. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Bobby, what would your life be like if you didn't have this gorgeous room of people to ask questions?

[A]

I wouldn't. I honestly, I would probably just be in some dark room in. In Valencia.

[E]

I love Valencia.

[A]

Yeah. Valencia. You know what I mean?

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. And.

[E]

Oh, close to Magic Mountain.

[A]

Yeah. Valencia. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, I thought this was a made up place. It sounds like one of those funny fairy book.

[A]

And you hear Colossus in the background. The ride.

[E]

Wait, do you know that they're shutting down?

[A]

I know they are. It's sad.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

We should. We should all go before they shut down.

[E]

I'm gonna get Bell's palsy on the other side. No, thank you.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Does Bell's palsy come from having too much fun? I think so.

[A]

Clowns get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

But you think a roller coaster would really give it to you?

[E]

I don't know. I feel like it would, like, worsen.

[C]

You know, just the.

[E]

The speed.

[C]

Oh, right.

[A]

Yeah. I don't think that how. That's how it works.

[E]

Watch.

[A]

Really?

[E]

Okay, I'll go. I'll go. I'll spin around actually.

[C]

And her hair will get stuck up. Like.

[A]

Do. Do you do roller coasters?

[C]

Yeah, I love roller coasters.

[A]

Me too.

[C]

Except for some things when you get older. Like, weird. Like, I don't. I used to love jumping on trampolines and now I'm like, oh, if you tampon, it'll simply shoot out. Some things are just for kids.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

So I don't really know. I mean, I'd like to go on a roller coaster. I haven't been on one in a while and I'm kind of.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Worried something bad might happen to me.

[A]

It's fun.

[D]

It's fun.

[A]

But when you see God when on online, when old roller coasters, something disastrous happened.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

That happened in my Town where I'm from. The roller coaster came detached and it flew into a crowd of people and it killed the people. People on it and the people in the crowd.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, my town.

[C]

In my mall.

[A]

Oh. Why are you smiling?

[C]

It's funny.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

No, it's not funny.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It was in Canada. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

West Edmonton Mall. It's the biggest mall.

[A]

Oh, this is the one I was talking about. Look at this one. Look at this one. Have you seen this one?

[F]

I thought it was AI at first.

[A]

But it was real.

[E]

I don't like.

[C]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[A]

Did you see the guy falling?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. What?

[D]

They're about to open the Fast and the Furious ride at the Universal Studio House. I'm not going on that test.

[C]

Oh, were they asking you to test it?

[D]

They're asking people to come test it out.

[C]

Yeah, I'm not for safety or for just like.

[D]

Is it good safety?

[C]

Damn.

[D]

I'm not signing up for that.

[C]

No, they're not testing it for safety. You know, they put, like, crash test dummies in those for that. They would never use a gorgeous human boy for that.

[D]

Thank you.

[C]

Well, you already did your special. You're going to do more of your own things.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What is it, like a scripted series?

[A]

Yeah, I have. Yeah.

[C]

Bobby's World. That's a good name for it. That's never been used.

[A]

Yeah, I have some things in the pipeline and. But, you know, at the end of the day, I. Especially this weekend, I was driving home yesterday and I was like, golly, I have everything I want. There's nothing more, really. I'm being real. I achieved everything I ever wanted to achieve, and I'm just super in gratitude. Also, people around me. I mean, Gilbert, you're so emotional at your speech last night.

[F]

You did it Saturday.

[D]

Saturday night.

[A]

And you were so helpful. Even you, Alex.

[C]

You scarecrow. And you tint.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, George, you're there. You know what I mean? But, yeah.

[E]

Jaime, Jaime, Jaime.

[F]

He was eating so many sandwiches, all.

[A]

The sandwiches, and then all of a sudden, you were eating crustables. Where did you find. How many crustables did you eat?

[C]

Crustables. Aren't they called uncrustables? I'm like, is there a version of the sandwich where it's just across in a Ziploc bag? It's the shittiest thing.

[B]

That's how they make Uncrustables. He eats all the crust.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I love Uncrustables.

[D]

I ate, like, four or five.

[C]

Yum.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And then shout out.

[F]

They had a Kalila really quick. She was on phone.

[E]

That's okay.

[A]

You saved my life many times.

[F]

10 times.

[A]

10 times this weekend. And I wouldn't be able to pull it off. And, Lisa, I'm just so happy that you did our podcast again. And why don't we give her a round of applause right now?

[C]

Thank you for having me.