Mia Malkova & The Gay Funeral

Summary

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TigerBelly – Mia Malkova & The Gay Funeral

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

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Overview

In this playful and raucous episode of TigerBelly, comedian Bobby Lee and sidekick Khalyla welcome adult film star Mia Malkova and comedian Peter Kim. The conversation, as always, is a wild, boundary-pushing ride, winding from reality dating shows and AI porn to relationship gripes, gay party culture, and failed attempts at flirting – capped by a late cameo from comedian Brent Weinbach. The tone is raw, irreverent, and hilarious; constant self-roasting and affectionate digs keep things unpredictable.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reality TV Obsession: "Love on the Spectrum" & Celebrity Sightings

• The group bond over their love for "Love on the Spectrum," especially favorite cast members (Connor, Tanner, Abby, and David).
  • Notable ribbing of Bobby after he claims to have met Abby at LAX — his story gets picked apart for holes.
    • [07:16] Khalyla: “Did you even see Abby?”
    • [07:25] Mia: “Nice one, Mia. Nice one.”
  • Bobby calls Andrew Santino to validate the story ([79:04]).

2. AI and the Future of Porn & Comedy

• Mia shares her thoughts on AI’s impact on adult content. She’s unfazed, insisting genuine human connection will always have a place.
  • [12:58] Mia: “I'm not. I embrace anything… I don't think [AI is] ever going to replace real people as far as porn stars go. It'll replace real people in other things, but not this.”
• Bobby and Peter debate whether AI could ever replicate the spontaneity and “accidents” that make live comedy irreplaceable.
  • [22:02] Bobby: "Comedy is a feeling. AI doesn't have the feeling to know when a joke is funny."
  • [22:45] Bobby: "These little tiny accidents — I don't think AI is ever going to figure that out."
• Khalyla brings up how "uncanny valley" makes AI influencers unsettling ([15:27]), and Peter questions AI standup's future.

3. Cultural Stereotypes and Family: Autistic Kids, Tiger Parents, and Asian Work Ethic

• Candid (and darkly comic) jokes are made about how Asian families might cope with neurodivergence.
  • [10:44] Bobby: "I'd be living in a hollowed out tree with a little opening—peekaboo—just scratch marks on my face…not because of autism, because [I'd] been ignored for so long."
  • [12:03] Bobby: "They're hyper focused…they're stitching the Nike sign."
• The group riff on strict parenting and how that shapes adults.

4. OnlyFans, Marketability, and the Value of Uniqueness

• Peter Kim laments how his look doesn’t “sell” on OnlyFans.
  • [24:51] Peter: “It's not really marketable. I don't think. I have nothing to really sell.”
  • [24:47] Bobby (roasting Peter): "You look down on us like we're like… Mongols or something in hollow trees."
• The conversation touches on AI influencers and the “uncanny valley” effect in sex work.

5. Relationship Dynamics, Nagging, & the End of the Honeymoon

• Mia opens up about her three-year relationship and the “nag” phase. The group performs roleplay skits satirizing couple spats.
  • [35:27] Mia (as herself): "I need you to grow up. I'm 32. I want to have babies soon."
• They discuss the inevitability of irritation, routine, and maintenance in long-term partnerships.
  • [34:11] Bobby: "Every relationship, eventually, after the third year, you're like, what the fuck are you talking about?"
  • [39:45] Mia: "I like nerds, and it comes with some cons that I struggle with. I'm a little ocd."
  • [39:48] Peter: "Oh, nerds are messy."

6. Gamer Culture, Comfort-Viewing, and Neurodivergence

• Jaimes discusses rituals like eating only while watching TV—debates whether it's Gen Z, spectrum, or comfort behavior.
  • [29:31] Bobby: "Study finds re-watching the same TV shows…is an excellent form of nervous system regulation."
• Deep-dive discussions about favorite games: Witcher 3, Stardew Valley, Skyrim, and Oblivion.
  • [31:29] Mia: "I did every side quest. Even those little armors you have to find."
• The competitiveness of gaming and need for instant mastery (“I can’t play if I’m not immediately good”).

7. Queer Culture, Palm Springs, and Gay Party Apps

• Peter Kim runs through apps like Grindr and Sniffies, discussing drugs (“PNP” – party and play, meaning meth) and dick binges in gay party culture.
  • [51:02] Peter: "Almost every other message is PNP. Want to smoke, want to party. It's very huge in the gay community."
  • [51:33] Bobby: "Sniffies is the wrong word…should be Rubbies."
• Discussion about favorite kinds of “musk” and sexual preferences (cleanliness vs. a “little stinky”).
  • [52:43] Peter: "I like it a little dirty…I like a man to smell like he’s been working all day."

8. "The Gay Funeral" Improv & Comedic Bits

• Hilarious improv “gay funeral” scene, where Peter attempts to flirt at an inappropriate time.
  • [55:00-58:34]: Multiple role switches and escalating ridiculousness.
  • [58:43] Mia (summarizing Peter's style): "You're very aggressive…taking no for an answer—no."
  • [59:47] Bobby: "You have no bat, but you still swing."

9. Brent Weinbach Joins: Classic Style, Dating Pet Peeves, Movie Snobbery

• Brent lists his "deal breakers" for partners: no pets, no tattoos, no vaping, no drinking or drugs, and rationality.
  • [74:41] Brent: "No pets."
  • [75:54] Brent: "I wish there was a dating application that sets you up with things you don't like."
  • [81:12] Brent: "I actually, like. I. If I had to pick, I would pick smoke a smoker over a vaper."
• Deliberates on the value of “classic” style vs. “modern” trends.
  • [80:45] Brent: "I want to keep these streets clean and I feel like tattoos are kind of like graffiti on the body. I like it clean and classy."
• Bobby and Brent bond over obscure film references, trading favorite directors and best films (Kurosawa, Sergio Leone, Hitchcock, Todd Solondz, PTA), out-movie-nerd each other, and marvel at their shared single status despite this expertise ([86:12-88:00]).
  • [87:14] Bobby: “I would never use that as, like, if they don't know anything about film...but I think I'm being too harsh."

10. Closing Bits: Hobbies, Showtunes, and More Roasting

• Group confesses love of musicals and show tunes.
  • [98:05] Mia: "Do you guys like show tunes?"
    Brent: "Yes. Musicals are the combination of all the art forms in one."
• Exchanges about who’s classic, who’s rational vs. passionate, and a final round of affectionate roasts.

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Memorable Quotes

• Bobby: "I've never been roasted this hard on the show. I'm having enough. Sorry." [09:38–09:47]
• Mia: "I really, really want to produce an AI gangbang and put my face on it." [05:56]
• Khalyla: “You look like the cab they rode in on, the rickshaw.” [71:29]
• Brent Weinbach: “No pets. I want a woman, not a dog.” [75:16]
• Peter Kim: "You like dirty, gay, just a dirty homosexual guy like stinky dick." [53:45]
• Bobby (on AI-generated OnlyFans): “They threw it out there. AI tried to create, and they're like, it's not selling. No, not really. You're just so eccentric and odd.” [24:00]
• Bobby & Brent (on why they're single):
  • Bobby: "That's so weird."
  • Brent: "You look for that, too. Movies?" [77:49–77:52]
• Brent (on his cop-like dating mentality):
  "I have a cop mentality and I want to keep these streets clean. Tattoos are kind of like graffiti of the body." [80:11]
• Mia: "I'm a little OCD…nerds are messy…I'm a little OCD." [39:45–39:46]
• Peter: "This booty hole is nasty." [54:06]

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Timestamps to Key Segments

• [01:32] – Mia introduced, banter begins
• [02:24] – "Love on the Spectrum" discussion
• [05:56] – Mia pitches AI gangbang idea
• [07:25] – Bobby’s story about meeting Abby at LAX under fire
• [12:58] – Could AI replace porn stars?
• [22:02] – Will AI ever truly “do” comedy?
• [24:47] – The “marketability” of being eccentric on OnlyFans
• [35:27] – Roleplaying couple fights/Nagging in relationships
• [39:45] – Mia confesses liking nerds; messiness and OCD
• [51:02] – Peter breaks down Palm Springs gay party/drug scene; apps like Sniffies
• [55:00–58:34] – "The Gay Funeral" improv skit
• [73:00–80:45] – Brent Weinbach’s arrival: classic dating, pet peeves, no pets/rationality
• [86:12–88:00] – Movie snob showdown: director trivia, singlehood
• [98:05] – Showtunes confessions

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent, raw, and self-deprecating.
• Frequent jabs, expert-level roasting, and affectionate insults.
• No topic off limits: sex, neurodivergence, family, kinks, pop culture.
• Banter is quick, chaotic, full of comedic bits and playful improvisation.

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Notable Moments

1. Brutal Roasting of Bobby – He takes it on the chin, especially regarding his looks and questionable LAX “celebrity sighting.”
2. AI Gangbang Bit – Mia’s open mind about tech, willingness to “try anything once.”
3. Gay Funeral Sketch – Illustrates the group’s improv chops and ribald sense of humor ([55:00–58:34]).
4. Brent’s Old-School Dating Rules – Baffling to the group, hilarious in delivery.
5. Movie Nerd Duel – Bobby and Brent go head-to-head on film minutiae, leaving the others in the dust.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a whirlwind through contemporary pop culture, sexuality, LA comedy, and friendship, filtered through the TigerBelly crew’s uniquely unpredictable, raucous style. You don’t have to know the backstories to enjoy the ride; just an appreciation for sharp banter and off-the-cuff humor. Buckle up.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hey, y'. All, I'm gonna be at the oxnard improv the 23rd, 3rd and 24th May, which is this Friday and this Saturday. There's only a few tickets left, but come check it out. Okay. And I'll see you on the backside of all life.

[A]

Hi.

[C]

Oh, just in time. Hi.

[A]

Hi.

[C]

How are you? I'm Peter.

[D]

I'm Mia.

[C]

Nice to meet you.

[E]

Hi, Mia. Hi. Nice to meet you.

[B]

I'm Mia. Good to see you again.

[D]

Good to see you.

[A]

You sit right over here.

[B]

You sit here.

[A]

Got a water?

[B]

We're just singing.

[C]

We're singing.

[B]

You want to say about Mexicans?

[D]

I can sing a little bit.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Le strut princess. Okay, brag. Let's go, Ariel.

[B]

All right, Mia. I've never masturbated to her, by the way. Clap for that.

[C]

Me neither.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[C]

That's how she makes money. Well, you're not in my preferred gender, so I. Yeah. But I do support other only fan men.

[D]

No, that's great.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you know Scott Riley?

[D]

No, I don't.

[B]

That's like me and guys. All right. So are you caught up on love on the spectrum?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Are you caught up?

[C]

I love it.

[B]

Are you caught up?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Are you caught up on it? Yeah.

[E]

Because you're asking all of us. Just ask. Sorry. Go ahead.

[B]

That was the first time I ever wanted to punch you in the face. No, he asked.

[E]

Nobody asked him. Right. So sorry.

[B]

My. I'm just yell out my favorite guy. They're all great. But I think this season, Connor.

[D]

Every season. Connor. Connor's the best.

[C]

Right?

[D]

Yeah. Connor and Tanner are the best. I'm obsessed with Abby and David too.

[C]

Well, they are like the golden couple.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

If they ever break up, I'm never gonna. I'm gonna divorce.

[B]

You know, I hung out with Abby.

[C]

Shut up.

[B]

Yeah. And her mom.

[C]

Are you serious?

[B]

At lax. And Santino was there.

[C]

You didn't hang out with her?

[B]

You. No, I didn't know you.

[C]

Dude, you ran into her. You're not friends with Abby and her mom.

[E]

You ran into them.

[C]

You were trying to clout Chase with Abby from Love on the Spectrum. That's crazy.

[B]

That's a while.

[C]

That's crazy. You name Jack. Abby from Love on the Spectrum. You know what?

[D]

That's pretty cool.

[C]

No, it's cool, but, like, that's crazy.

[D]

Yeah. Wait, what was that?

[A]

So awkward.

[C]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[B]

So, anyway, I tell you, I. It's great. Dude, you're making me so mad right now. I can't even control. I can't even control my anger right now. I'm trying to calm down, dude, because I'm supposed to be the host, okay?

[D]

I got a cameo from David. Oh.

[B]

What did he say?

[D]

He said, you're sweeter than all my.

[B]

Favorite desserts, but can you do it in the Voice?

[C]

No, I would.

[B]

No.

[C]

Stop it.

[B]

All right, my bad. That's. So let's go back to the airport. Okay. Me and Andrew are walking through the airport, right? And we see Abby and her mom sitting there. They're on our flight, I think. And Andrew goes, go.

[E]

Say something.

[B]

Oh, my God. So, okay. So I walk and I go, hey, I'm saying, I'm a huge fan. I love the show. And her mom goes, oh, I've seen you on, you know, I mean, clips and stuff, right?

[C]

Oh, no, the. The tiger belly clips that I sent you. Not the Bad Friends clips that I sent you.

[B]

No. Oh, okay. No, just clips. And, you know, there's.

[E]

He.

[C]

They have clips of him and Andrew as, like, the couple from Love on the Spectrum.

[D]

Which couple?

[C]

They like AI Face them.

[B]

Look.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

You see that? Never seen this.

[D]

Oh, you look gorgeous.

[C]

Does he look so cute?

[D]

Yeah, you look adorable.

[B]

Ronan. I love Ronan.

[C]

He's so sweet.

[D]

So, anyway, he's on Tanner's, right?

[C]

No, this is Ronin.

[B]

It looks so good, though, doesn't it?

[D]

Yeah, it looks really good.

[B]

It's so good.

[C]

That looks like him.

[B]

Oh, my God. Look at his body.

[C]

That looks just like him.

[B]

Yeah. Does that look like me?

[C]

That's you. What do you mean, does that look like you?

[A]

That is cute.

[B]

I mean, the body and stuff.

[C]

I feel like they didn't even.

[B]

Oh, my God. Turn it off.

[A]

Kind of Looks like you real.

[B]

Turn it off. All right. It's.

[C]

I don't think they even AIED him. They just put a mustache on.

[E]

Are you afraid of AI?

[B]

I'm not done with my question.

[E]

You don't think, Bro, stop.

[B]

Are you afraid of me? I'm not done with my LAX experience, dude. Right. To AI was Because we love Spectrum. To AI.

[D]

Wait. I really, really want to produce an AI gang bang and put my face on it.

[C]

I'll help you produce that.

[D]

Thank you. We could do a whole script just like really raw. It'd still be happening as someone else.

[B]

Oh, I love that. Yeah, that'd be great.

[C]

That's a great idea.

[B]

Because we go back to my lax.

[C]

Yeah, lax. Sorry.

[E]

Okay. And then come back to my question.

[B]

No, no, we're not going to go back to.

[C]

Well, I'm just asking.

[B]

Well, no, we're not going to do that.

[E]

I'm asking later.

[B]

You're not going to ever ask another thing again because you're not going to do this again. Okay, you're really making me mad. Okay, so I'm at lax.

[F]

Uh huh.

[B]

We talk. She worked, right? And then Andrew. I called Andrew over and we do like a four way for like 20 minutes. Talked about all kinds of their experiences, where they went. I think they had just gotten back from Africa. So we're just like, what was that like? And it was a really nice, you know what I mean, outing with these just people that I was. I'm a fan of.

[D]

Was David there?

[B]

No, it's just Abby.

[D]

They went to Africa again and she went without David.

[B]

This happened years ago.

[D]

She had never been to Africa before she met him. He took her to Africa to see the lion.

[B]

The truth, they weren't coming straight from that trip. This had been months after they got back.

[D]

I'm finding holes in his store.

[A]

It's not a real story.

[C]

Did you even see Abby?

[A]

Nice one, Mia. Nice one.

[B]

Okay, I gotta call Andrew.

[F]

No.

[C]

Where's your photo of it? I'm sure you took a photo.

[B]

We didn't take a photo.

[C]

You didn't take a photo?

[D]

Selfies at lax find it unlikely story.

[C]

Oh no.

[B]

If he picks up, he's not going to pick up. I won't even give it away. Just listen.

[C]

He's golfing with Justin Timberlake.

[E]

I love Andrew.

[C]

Me too.

[B]

Yeah, of course. I pick up for. I'll call you right back. He hits. He'll pick up. He'll call me. I'll put this phone here and he'll pick up. Anyway, so Connor, I love Tanner, too.

[D]

I love Tanner.

[B]

Yeah. You know what I realized, though? That you have to have a good family.

[C]

For what? To have love?

[D]

To be. No, I think with people who are on the spectrum. I mean, it's a spectrum, but people who are higher needs. I think that they. They need a lot of support from their family.

[B]

It's the love. No, I think I said that wrong. What I'm saying is, is that I love the fact.

[C]

Go like this.

[D]

You have a little teardrop in your eye.

[C]

You know when, like, poodles get, like, tear stains. Yeah, Poodle.

[B]

Dude, you want to die tonight, dude. You're on the verge of death, dude.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Okay. Anyway. What I'm trying to say is that what makes my heart melt is just this love of family. You know what I mean? And the way they care and the. You know what I mean? And how just, like, healthy these guys. People are, you know? I mean, they're just. Sorry.

[F]

I want you.

[D]

I'm about to. I'm about to say something. Don't get mad. It should be a pug.

[A]

She calls you a pug.

[C]

She's like, no, poodles are too elegant. That's too pretty. Seriously, That's a good one.

[E]

I'm gonna die, too.

[F]

Damn.

[A]

Mia.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Do you want to die tonight?

[B]

Would you want to die? I don't know what's going on. This has never happened before on the show. This has never happened on the show before. Well, I know where you're laughing, dude. It's fucked up. Dude, I've never been roasted this hard on. I mean, the variety of things. You saying that I look like, you know, I mean that. That it wasn't cj, it could have been me or whatever to the pug thing to just all these other things, you know, I mean, it's just. I've had enough. Okay. Sorry. I'm sorry. You. You just dictating what topic we're going to go to.

[F]

What do you think about.

[D]

He's the worst.

[B]

Yeah, he's the worst. You're the worst. Are you scared of me? Are you scared of ar? We are, but let's move on. So. What a great show. And Can I ask you something? Oh, my God.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[F]

Do you think. Sorry.

[C]

Sorry. Do you. I.

[B]

Wait, let.

[C]

I. I want to ask you. I'll just say something.

[B]

Is it gonna hurt my feelings?

[C]

No, no. This is about my family. You said family. Like, you have to have a good family.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't think I could have been autistic.

[B]

Oh, yeah. You know what?

[C]

I mean.

[B]

Oh, exactly.

[F]

There's no way.

[B]

There's no way.

[A]

I see.

[B]

My dad would have beat the.

[E]

Out of.

[B]

I know.

[C]

Until I started.

[B]

You know what? I would. I'd be living in a hollowed out tree with a little opening.

[C]

Peekaboo.

[B]

Yeah. You know. And just scratch marks on my face.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean? And go feral. No, but that I've turned animalistic. Not because of the autism. That's not why.

[C]

Because you're in the wilderness.

[B]

Yeah. I've just been ignored for so long.

[C]

So long.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't think my parents, like. My parents couldn't deal with me like just as me.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

They couldn't communicate with.

[B]

They could. Yeah. We were. I was physically abused by. Be Just being an average.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Joe. You know what I mean? I imagine.

[C]

And they just thought you were autistic. Sorry. I'm sorry.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Can we take that out?

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. Keep it.

[A]

Keep it in.

[B]

That's mean.

[C]

That's mean.

[B]

Keep it in. Let the people decide.

[F]

That's not.

[C]

That's not normally me.

[B]

I think all of you are gonna reap something from this that's not normal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Yeah, I think I agree with that. Right. Theory. Yeah. And there probably are people that are autistic that are Korean.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Or Chinese. You know what I mean? And they're like. You mean. What is that?

[D]

Geniuses?

[B]

No. Not dj. Not tj.

[C]

What?

[B]

No.

[D]

Tech.

[B]

No, they're sweatshop.

[C]

Oh my God. Nikes.

[B]

Yeah. Cuz you. They're hyper focused.

[C]

Right, right, right.

[B]

You know, I mean. Yeah.

[C]

They're stitching the Nike sign.

[B]

I made 80 in two hours or whatever. What? Yeah.

[C]

Oh, no. What is this?

[B]

How did you do this that fast?

[C]

Dude? How did you do this so fast?

[B]

How'd you do that?

[A]

Your dad?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

That's so sad.

[B]

I love that painting, though.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Bobby.

[B]

Can you do Peter Kim where he's not famous enough?

[C]

No, there's no way.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

They're gonna be like, huh.

[B]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So, yes, AI, we'll go to AI.

[E]

Ask your question, Jaime, are you afraid of AI, like taking your jobs like onlyfans? And like, I'm.

[D]

I'm not. I embrace like anything I. And I. I think that there's a. I think it's never going. It's going to have a market. Of course. Course. But I don't think it's ever going to replace real people as far as like porn stars go. It'll replace real people and other things.

[B]

But I think there's two areas that wouldn't replace.

[D]

Also, I'm grandfathered in.

[C]

What does that mean?

[D]

It means I already have a name, so I'm not going to be competing.

[C]

Oh, like a new.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You won't be a new face.

[D]

Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly.

[C]

I'm sorry, I. I should have done my research. But are you, like, a big name in, like, you're.

[B]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Is this a big podcast?

[D]

Who. Who is this? Gu.

[A]

No, I know.

[B]

Is this a big podcast?

[C]

This is a big pocket. Of course she's big, but, like, I.

[B]

Just don't want your world. Can I ask you something?

[C]

Do you know all the actors? You know every actor?

[B]

Yeah, I do. If they're gonna do my podcast, they're gonna. They have to be big. But my point is, is this all right?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Who have we had on this podcast in the recent couple, three months?

[C]

Well, we had Angela White, maybe last year. Oh, dear friend.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

Riley Reed.

[B]

No, I'm actors. Oh, and movie. Anyone? The biggest name.

[A]

Gordon Peele has done this podcast.

[B]

Jordan Peele. Judd Apatow.

[C]

Oliver Hudson.

[B]

Oliver. I mean, Oliver Hudson. Yeah. George Lopez.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Big people. So what I'm saying is that you think I'm just going to have somebody that is an unknown.

[C]

No, of course you're known, but I just don't know how. Like, what?

[B]

The top.

[C]

Okay, you're the Meryl Streep.

[F]

Not.

[B]

She's not the Meryl Streep. No, she's more of the Kaia Gerber. Renee Zellweger. Oh, okay. Yeah, I just. No talk so far. I just came up with. That's a list.

[C]

You're a list. You'll be invited to the diamond.

[B]

Yeah, whatever. Her name is.

[C]

Zendaya.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, the diamond.

[B]

Yeah, whatever. I don't know her name, but her. Spider Man.

[C]

Okay, so you're like a list. Young. A list.

[B]

Right. Of.

[C]

Of the industry.

[B]

Yeah, I think.

[D]

Yeah, one of them.

[C]

Oh, amazing.

[B]

See, there's.

[D]

There's quite a few.

[A]

These are some of the AI influencers that are now blowing up and making lots of 2.4 million.

[D]

Is that the Pornhub AI?

[A]

I don't think this.

[B]

This lady is completely fake.

[A]

Yeah. So there's a couple of these men and women that just are AI generated.

[C]

This looks fake.

[A]

It looks fake, but people love it.

[C]

But I guess people watch Hentai, right? So it's a cartoon. So why wouldn't you like this? I guess but the. Okay, this one with the heart in the car is too normal.

[A]

But people look how many likes it has.

[C]

No, but like, she's, like, real.

[B]

That's what I mean.

[C]

She's like, I'm in my car being normal.

[B]

Like, you're not real. You're not real.

[D]

She's uncanny Valley. And I.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't like that.

[B]

What's Canny Valley?

[C]

Uncanny Valley.

[A]

Uncanny.

[B]

What is that?

[D]

She's. She looks too much like a person, but not quite there. So it, like, makes you feel uncomfortable.

[C]

It's like a confusing amount.

[B]

That's what uncanny valley means.

[C]

Yeah. When the thing is, like, so good. But, like, it's like something's off. Something's off. The closer it is to looking human than it, like, looks weirder. So, like. Like R2D2 is cute because he doesn't look human at all. But if you try to look human, then it's uncanny.

[B]

Like those dwarves on Snow White. Yeah, that's exactly uncanny Valley.

[D]

They messed up with those.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you see it?

[D]

No.

[B]

Why wouldn't you watch it?

[D]

Because I got terrible reviews. And I'm also. I'm a Rachel Zegler hater.

[C]

You are? Okay, tell me more.

[D]

I'm on the hate.

[C]

Okay, tell me more.

[B]

More.

[D]

I mean, not that much. She's just annoying.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

That's.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. That's the biggest thing. And. And honestly, is she.

[C]

Then you Lea Michele.

[D]

I love Michelle.

[C]

Okay, you love Lea Michele, but you didn't like. Because I feel like they're kind of the same type.

[D]

Well, they're. Yeah, they're very, like, high strung. And I could separate it. If it was getting great reviews, I'd go support the movie. But it's. It's weird.

[B]

It's weird.

[F]

It's.

[D]

We.

[E]

She does. She did those memes. The Snow White.

[B]

Oh, God.

[E]

Where, like, she's locked the jaw, like, you know.

[D]

Oh, they're like. I love those.

[B]

What are they?

[D]

She's just. It's just on. It's just people making fun of her on Tick Tock, she. I think the Huntsman may have a knife to her throat and she's going.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. What do you not like about her?

[E]

When she did that interview with. With the Weird. Weird that just take me off.

[D]

Rubbed you the wrong way.

[B]

It's funny, guys. That's her off screen, you know, but as an actress. Stop. As an actress. Do you see Y2K? She was great in that.

[D]

I heard. I heard that she was the best thing about the movie. Yeah, that's what I heard.

[B]

A what?

[D]

Snow White.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

That she was the best part.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

That's great.

[B]

She's a great actress. Right. I don't necessarily believe in her politics or, you know, I mean, I think some of those interviews were a little odd, you know, I mean, I think.

[C]

That was very, very kind.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I didn't.

[B]

I don't think it helped her, you know, but as an actress, she's good. So. I mean, she has a nice voice. Great voice. I think she's a great performer and she sings and she's.

[C]

I wish she was. Know anything about anyone, honestly, like the old.

[A]

Just.

[C]

Yeah, just don't. Don't tell me anything.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know what I mean? Just do your fucking work. I don't want to hear about your fucking. What you feel about anything.

[D]

Or like, I mean, personally, I just think politics should always be left out of it when you're an entertainer. That's my opinion. Because you do want. You do want people to be able to separate it. I think that's.

[C]

I want to get lost.

[D]

Yeah. And like, imagine if I was using my Twitter to like, you know, say political things. It's. Porn stars are fantasy. And I think it's similar with actors.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So I think adult actresses have anything to worry about if this AI thing. And I think standup comedy, there's no way.

[C]

You don't think so?

[B]

No.

[C]

I think standup comedy specials are going to be in trouble. But live, obviously it will.

[B]

Why. Z do good for you? Zoc Doc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. Listen, Jaime, your health is important.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Right. And there's specialists out there, Right. What would you do if you had a problem? Let's say your titty hurt. Yeah. You go to zocdoc. Right, Exactly. Why?

[E]

Because it's Zachdoc.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because we're talking about booking in network appointments with more than a hundred thousand doctors across every specialty from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care, and much, much more. So if I have a skin rash, right. I go to zocdoc. Right. And then I can compare and contrast who's best. Because they're rated, right? Yeah. No, I can read reviews. Right. I go. I like Dr. Solomon for this.

[F]

Yeah, he's the best.

[B]

He's the best. Right. And I would book him through ZocDoc.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. And we do that for other things. Correct. Like, what else do we do that.

[E]

With you when you break your Achilles.

[B]

No, no, I'm talking to other things. Like we. We read reviews for movies. Reviews.

[C]

Right.

[B]

We'll. We'll do it for food.

[D]

Movies.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, the same thing. Food and restauran restaurants.

[A]

But stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to zocdoc.combelly to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's zocdoc.combelly zocdoc.combelly.

[B]

When you have ED, go to Blue Chew.

[E]

Wow.

[B]

Blue Chew.

[E]

Bluechew.

[B]

I have ed.

[E]

I have ED too.

[B]

What is that stand for?

[E]

Erectional Dysfunctional.

[B]

Yep. So when we have Erectional dysfunctional, right, what we. What we do is we go to Bluetooth. It's a chewable tablet. Okay. And guys, be ready when she needs it. And get your first month of Bluetooth free. Great. Sex is a few clicks away. Sign up to bluetooth.com, consult with one of your licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive a prescription within days. Now, what I love about it too is, is that it's discreet. So when I. When it comes to my box, I don't know, it's Bluetooth. It's a discrete package. And here's the most important part. It genuinely works. Yes. Yeah. So I've taken it and power played it. Yeah, it's a real power play. Yeah. And the best part is it's all done online at Jaime. Right. That means no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at a pharmacy.

[E]

Yeah, man, that would have me rock as a solid.

[B]

Yeah, go ahead, wrap it up.

[A]

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[B]

And I think stand up comedy. There's no way.

[C]

You don't think so? No, I think sand of comedy specials are going to be in trouble. But live, obviously.

[B]

Why? No, there's No, I wouldn't.

[C]

Because I think I would never had Jerry Seinfeld.

[B]

AI, it's terrible.

[C]

I know, but it's now. Imagine three years from now how good that's gonna be. But comedy is a feeling. And AI doesn't have the feeling to know when a joke is funny.

[B]

Yeah, you feel.

[C]

But also, Peter, you don't think it's gonna get better.

[B]

Peter. Peter.

[C]

Well, not because it's a feeling. It's a feeling that you get when something's good. No, it's getting a. Peter.

[B]

Peter.

[D]

Maybe it'll be measuring the laughs.

[C]

Yeah. It's gonna get, but it needs the reaction. That's the thing. It needs to be trained on people.

[B]

You what? Half my jokes are by accident.

[A]

I thought you were gonna save by.

[B]

AI, you know, so. But do you understand what I'm saying? Where you're like, you're working on a new joke and.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's funny about the joke, you know? I mean, you think Isn't the funny part.

[A]

Right.

[B]

There's something else accidentally that happens in the setup or something. You go, that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

If these little tiny accidents. Right. I don't think. Ei. Ei. I think AI is ever gonna figure that out.

[D]

I mean, unless they, like, upload all of your videos and all the other comedians who are just naturally funny. I think they'll figure it out.

[B]

I don't. I don't think so. I also Live. There's no way. Live.

[C]

There's no way.

[B]

There's no way.

[C]

But what if. No, I don't want to go into this territory.

[B]

I'm gonna roll it back.

[A]

Unroll it.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

Basically, it needs to feel real. Like, it needs to feel human.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

What?

[A]

Great summary.

[E]

I'm just saying.

[C]

Bravo. I love the sniper. Like, he comes in and totally hits the target.

[E]

He's over here saying about what you're gonna say. But no, it's just. Yeah. AI can't take over comedy because, like, what you're saying, the accidents, like, those little bits, little tags.

[A]

Do you think AI can replicate Jaime? I don't think so. There's no way.

[B]

If you. If you ask I AI to recreate this guy. Yeah. The whole system would crumble.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The matrix. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It would go into itself, you know? I mean.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

De Evolve or whatever. Yeah. And kill itself.

[C]

It'll be the big bang again.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It would not be able to do it, you mean? Or look at this guy. What? You can't create this in the AI.

[C]

No. They threw it out there. AI tried to create, and they're like, it's not selling.

[B]

No, not really. You're just so eccentric and odd.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Thanks.

[B]

Yeah. But in a good way. That benefits you. I think I am the same way.

[C]

Maybe that's why I. I don't have a marketplace in OnlyFans. Like, I don't see anyone that looks like Me?

[B]

Do it.

[C]

No, it's not selling. It's not selling.

[F]

Clearly. Do it.

[C]

Do you see anyone that looks like us on Only Fans?

[A]

That's it. That's a no. That's a no for sure.

[C]

I mean, look at us. Look at our faces.

[B]

I'm tired of your right now.

[D]

I'm sorry.

[B]

He put me on this. You look down on us like we're like, you know, I mean, Mongols or.

[A]

Something in hollow trees.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, right. We're human being.

[D]

I look up to you.

[B]

Okay, so answer his question.

[A]

No, it's not a.

[C]

It's not really marketable. I don't think.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

You know what I mean? Like, I have nothing to really sell, but maybe in, like, the five subscribers range.

[D]

Come on.

[C]

There's gotta be something. Yeah, I'm gonna do it for five.

[D]

Oh, yeah. I mean, it depends on what you're doing.

[C]

I gotta have, like, a specialty.

[D]

I think so.

[C]

I can't.

[B]

Oh, you definitely have.

[D]

You know, I mean, something else this one does.

[B]

Cam's doorknobs in this butthole.

[F]

Everyone.

[B]

All the doormans. Yeah. This you. Oh, my God. Yours is churros. This guy could jam 19 churros.

[A]

And.

[C]

It comes out chocolate dip.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

And you. No, I'm just kidding.

[C]

Do it.

[B]

Go ahead. I'm here.

[C]

Yeah. Roast him.

[E]

I need a job. You know, I can't.

[C]

I'll get his ass. Will you?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Come on, man.

[E]

You got, like, I don't know, beef jerky or rice.

[C]

Beef jerky.

[A]

Classic Korean stereotype.

[C]

Beef jerky.

[A]

Good old beef jerk.

[B]

Beef jerky and ice cream, you said.

[C]

Oh, rice cakes.

[B]

Oh, rice cakes.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

Oh, that's good. Maybe take out the beef jerky. That's.

[C]

That's a little broad.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

I just farted. And you're gonna smell it soon. Oh, that's so gross.

[E]

Can I ask Mia a question?

[B]

Yes. Okay.

[E]

Did Andrew call you?

[D]

Is it really? Did you think you were gonna get away with that?

[B]

No, I don't smell. I need a spray.

[A]

I may. Go ahead.

[C]

Ask your question.

[E]

Okay, so I went on a date with this girl, like, two times already. But she. She. The reason why I say about love on the spectrum is because her fetish is the show and I'm on the spectrum. So that's why she keeps seeing me. Is that a good thing or bad?

[D]

So you are on the spectrum, right? You know what? You guys lied to me.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

But did you believe it took the test?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You took the test. I haven't you haven't take the test?

[E]

They said there's a test, but I don't know.

[D]

Okay, okay.

[C]

Sorry.

[D]

I believed everyone.

[C]

I mean, yeah, it's. It's adjacent.

[D]

Okay, she's adjacent. Are you. Are you telling her you're on the spectrum?

[E]

No, we're like, in a date, and like midday, she's like, hey, I just want to say I've been having so much fun with you. This is the most fun I have ever had. It kind of reminds me on that being on the level, on the spectrum. And I was like, oh.

[B]

Oh, that's what she said.

[A]

How did you take that?

[E]

Oh, I would like to eat you later. No, no, I was gonna say that.

[C]

But not eat you out. I'm like, what the Jeffrey Dahmer? You about to eat her like, beef jerky?

[B]

No, I was like, oh, I didn't.

[E]

Want to correct her.

[B]

So you have to break up with her. You said, oh, no.

[E]

Like, cut things off.

[A]

That's the most special thing.

[D]

How did it make you feel?

[E]

Well, it's because, you know, they. Bobby teases me about being on the spectrum, so there's no difference, so.

[B]

Oh, man.

[C]

But Bobby's not on a date with you. That's.

[E]

I know, but people say I'm on the spectrum a lot, so.

[C]

A lot of people say that.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, have you taken tests?

[E]

No.

[B]

Should I? Maybe we should.

[E]

You want to take a test?

[B]

I don't want to take it. I want you to take the test.

[E]

Okay, I'll take the test.

[B]

I mean, real, like, go see us, you know, what do you see? A nurse? Neuro. Neurological doctor. A doctor. A doctor.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I think you could only do it online. Maybe there's like, an online test.

[D]

Yeah, but how trustworthy is that?

[B]

Yeah, you can't trust. See a professional.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Because I was like, you know, watching the stuff they have, like, their. Their things. My thing is like, that I'll make myself believe I have on the spectrum is that I only eat watching tv. Like, I can only eat when I watch.

[D]

It's very routine based. I don't know.

[B]

You can only eat when you're watching tv.

[E]

Like, if I'm eating, I have to watch t. A TV show I have to watch.

[B]

We've gone to restaurants before where there was no tv, and I've never been uncomfortable. Oh, you've been uncomfortable. And I would talk to y', all.

[A]

But, like, is that spectrum or is that more like Gen Z? Like, everyone needs a phone.

[E]

No, I have to, like, what kind of TV Show. I. I rewatch episodes like the Office and like.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Comfort stuff.

[B]

Can I tell you why I'm going to tell you right now? Because I do the same thing. If I may. If I may.

[A]

You do watch stuff when we're.

[B]

I'm going to show you something right now real quick. I know it's a little.

[C]

Do it while playing video games.

[F]

Don't play video games.

[E]

No, I just watch tv.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I'm going to read it right now. Okay. Study finds re. Watching the same TV shows or movies repeatedly is an excellent form of nervous system regulation.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

Because it's. It's safe.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

It's your comfort zone.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I'll watch the West Ring every year from beginning to end. Right. And it makes me feel. Because I know what the outcome is. I know how this is going to all work out. And so it's like. That's why, like, I was watching the Last of Us, the second episode of the second season, and I had to pause it 15 times because I had panicked. What is going to happen here? I had to walk away. Are you watching the show?

[D]

No, not yet, but I will. I know what happens.

[A]

Have you played the game?

[D]

I've played the first one.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

But I do know what happens.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, I did too. And it was still sad.

[D]

Yeah. I'm kind of scared to because I know that it's like, going to be pretty emotional.

[C]

You're a big gamer as well.

[D]

I'm a pretty big gamer.

[C]

And you. Do you do that on OnlyFans? No, like.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

No, like playing? No, I.

[F]

No.

[D]

I did Twitch for a little bit, but.

[B]

Would you play on Twitch?

[D]

What. What did I play? I played a lot of the Witcher 3.

[B]

I love the Witcher 3.

[D]

I do, too.

[B]

They're making a new one.

[D]

A new. Oh, that's right. With series.

[B]

I think it's called Witcher 4.

[F]

You're so ridiculous, dude.

[A]

That's insane.

[B]

That's great. I'm not sure, but yeah, they're coming up with it. You don't play games, right?

[C]

No, Yeah, I played. I played Spider Man. I got in. Which one? No, I don't know.

[D]

I heard that one was pretty good.

[C]

It was really good.

[D]

I haven't played it.

[C]

I have no patience for something I can't be good at immediately. You know what I mean? Like, I need to, like, immediately be good at it or I'm done.

[D]

I. I can take my time, but I don't like to play multiplayer. It's like, even with. Sure. Yeah. I struggled at the Beginning with the fighting. Because I'll forget. I'll forget like, how to fight if I don't play it for a week.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And it takes me a while to, like, actually get into the game and understand everything. I'm pretty overwhelmed at first, but I just. I played it on the easiest. I went around. I. I did every side quest. Like, I really.

[B]

Even those little. Even those armors you have to find.

[D]

I got all them. I think I got, like. What was it like, the feline one?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

I do all of that before going to the main storyline.

[B]

Oh, I see.

[D]

And that way, like, then I can up him to death march, and it's still pretty.

[B]

Oh, wow. Do you replay it harder than next time or.

[D]

No, I probably will.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

There's a game called. Yeah, go ahead.

[D]

Are you gonna be playing the new Oblivion?

[B]

Oh, that's an interesting question. I mean, they remastered, but what does that mean? Did they change the mechanics or just better graphics?

[D]

Changed some mechanics, but definitely better graphics. Yeah, they. They like. They changed a couple of the quality of life mechanics, but they kept like. Like the soul of the game.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you. What did you play? Skyrim?

[D]

Yeah, I'm. I'm doing a playthrough right now.

[B]

It's so fun.

[D]

It's so fun.

[B]

It's so fun. Yeah. I forgot what I was gonna say right before you said that. Me? You said. Was it. No, no, I had an important thing to say. It was about video games. Yeah.

[A]

Stardew Valley.

[B]

No, New Oblivion's coming out. No, it was before that. I don't.

[A]

I forgot for completely over, like, even games. We were saying, like, games are kind of like that. Resetting your nervous system.

[B]

No, no.

[D]

Okay, great.

[B]

That's absolutely not it.

[C]

Okay, cool. Yeah.

[B]

You know what I hate about it is it was so important.

[D]

Oh, no.

[B]

And I completely forgot about it.

[C]

It'll come back.

[B]

It won't.

[C]

It'll come.

[B]

My brain doesn't ever comes back to it. Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, it's gone.

[B]

Okay. This, that, that, that. Yeah, I don't have it. Okay.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

Does that guys ever happen to you?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Y. Yeah. What?

[A]

What?

[E]

Deja vu.

[A]

Nope.

[C]

No, that's not at all. That's the opposite, actually.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. What does deja vu mean to you?

[E]

Oh, wait, this happened before? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That's not deja vu, though. Deja vu is a specific experience that you're like, have I been here before or. Right.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Not just forgetting about what you were about.

[D]

No, your thing wasn't Deja vu. But he. His definition was deja vu. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Okay. Are you in LA still?

[D]

I am, yeah. Yeah, I'm not far.

[B]

Are you seeing anybody?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, I've been seeing someone for three years.

[B]

Love still?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, good.

[D]

Best friends.

[B]

Best friends, yeah. And love.

[D]

Yeah. But it changes after a certain amount of time. I feel like a lot of resentment comes in. I become quite a bit of a nag, you know?

[B]

See that?

[D]

I have a lot of complaints.

[B]

That's the thing.

[C]

You don't have high standards. No, you have high standards.

[B]

No, no, no, no. I refuse to believe that. No, no. What I'm saying to you is I think it's human women nature.

[C]

It's person nature.

[B]

Every relationship, eventually, after the third year, you're like, what the you talking about?

[C]

Well, yeah, I mean, the sheen wears off.

[B]

All the things you're making me do. Like. You know what I mean? Your feet stink or you know. Yeah.

[D]

All the things that you were like with at the beginning, right?

[B]

No, Clyde was like, you're foot stinks.

[E]

Is the honeymoon phase over?

[D]

What?

[E]

Is the honeymoon phase over?

[D]

Yeah. No, it ends pretty quickly.

[B]

What do you now like. Okay, I'm. What? I want to say his name, but let's say.

[A]

Let's play her boyfriend.

[B]

I'll play your boyfriend. Right. What are some of the things.

[A]

Your name's Rodney, by the way.

[B]

What?

[A]

Your name's Rodney.

[B]

Rodney. There we go. How you doing, Mia? Hey, Mia. Good morning.

[E]

Who is this?

[B]

I'm Rodney, man.

[D]

Good morning, honey bunny.

[B]

Good morning, snicker cakes.

[D]

So you didn't take out the trash last night already?

[B]

Hey, you know what? I'm leaving. I'm back. I'm leaving. Fuck off, Mia. Yeah, yeah. No. Oh, yeah. Last night. Well, I was playing. Well, dude, you know me. I had that War Zone. My crew, we were playing Warzone last night.

[D]

Warhammer.

[B]

Warhammer, yeah. And that as well. You know what? Also, Mia, I play a variety of games.

[D]

You know, I need you to grow up. I. I'm 32. Okay. I want to have babies soon.

[B]

Oh, so like, you know. I know Bobby Lee plays video games. He's 53.

[A]

We were friends with him.

[D]

I forget how old you are.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

But yeah, Stardew Valley.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You know, he's really in the Stardew Valley and stuff. He's fine. I'm still. Rodney.

[C]

Stunned her into silence.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take out. I'll take out the trash. What else? What else? Mia, for the day, were you silent.

[D]

Because you need a shower? You need to do your laundry.

[B]

Well, Mia, a shower three days ago after Coachella.

[D]

You need to stop leaving. You need to stop leaving cups everywhere. Your clothes on the floor.

[B]

I'm an environmentalist. You know, I reuse things.

[D]

Okay. I hate you.

[B]

All right. Anyway, well, I have a list of things that bothered me about you.

[D]

Like what?

[B]

Well, one time she didn't flush your little. Bloody pads. Bloody pad.

[D]

You don't flush them.

[A]

Yeah, you definitely don't do that.

[D]

It messes with the. With the system.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, okay. Well, I saw one in the trash can.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Where else would you put. Yes. I don't like in the trash can.

[D]

Sorry.

[C]

You should dump Rodney.

[D]

Really.

[B]

Anyway, so I have another moral on my list. You know, I don't think you're nice to my mom.

[D]

No, What?

[B]

Yeah, I don't think you're nice to my mom.

[C]

Mia.

[D]

What do I do to your mom?

[B]

Like, your hellos are enthusiastic, like, there's no loving your voice, you know? That's all. Yeah. Yeah. Also, I want you to get a degree.

[E]

You're asking for.

[B]

I mean, it's the same as the trash can.

[D]

I'm too old. Too old for that.

[B]

Oh, really? I mean, I know a lot of people, like, you know, got their degrees in their 50s and 60s and stuff. You know, I'm on TikTok. I read the stories all the time. Another thing, too. It's like, I want your bottom teeth to be done. Like your top teeth. I don't like the differential of the colors.

[D]

Well, I want you to get a neck lift.

[B]

You know what? Fuck you, Mia. I come from a long neck family lineage. You know what I mean? We were the first people that put the rings around our necks, and then the Africans stole it from us. All right? So fuck you, Mia. I have more. You know what I mean? I want you to have web feet. It's a fetish. Forget that. That was all. Yeah, yeah, that was too much. I get it, I get it, I get it. I get it. You know, I also want you to slow down and work. What's up? In your face, Mia. What's up?

[D]

Yeah, that's a. That's one. That's a talk.

[B]

That's a talk. All right. Let's have that conversation.

[D]

All right. You want me to slow down and work?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

What is it? You don't like that I do.

[B]

I don't know. You spend so much time away from me. Oh, yeah. And then you come home and be like, you know, I'm tired.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

How terrible.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Well, there's more. Then there's certain smells.

[E]

I smell.

[B]

Not bad. They're not bad. They're not bad smells.

[A]

This is so long.

[B]

What?

[D]

He just keeps going.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Push him down the stairs.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. You want to break up?

[D]

Huh?

[B]

You want to break up?

[D]

No.

[B]

Okay. Oh, wow. See, that's the one. That's it. But it's like. Okay, so trash. He leaves his cups out.

[E]

He doesn't shower.

[B]

He doesn't shower.

[C]

Sounds like you want him to grow up. You want him to grow up?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Become a man.

[B]

Well, how's his work? What is. I mean, I don't want to. We don't have to expose it, but is he working a lot?

[D]

Yeah. Oh, he does.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

But I. I work a lot, and I manage to do it all.

[B]

Does he ever say. Yeah. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Does he ever show up to your work or.

[D]

No, no.

[B]

Oh, not once.

[C]

Is he in your line of business?

[D]

No.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So it. It seems like it's been together for three years. So, like, everything's cool, like.

[D]

Yeah, no, everything is good.

[B]

Good.

[C]

That's great.

[D]

Yeah. I feel like in any relationship, you're gonna have the. The pros and the cons, and I. I like nerds, and it comes with some cons that I struggle with. I'm a little ocd.

[B]

You're ocd?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, and they're messy.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Oh, nerds are messy.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[C]

They're just too busy. Yeah. They're doing adhd.

[D]

Hoarder.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I. Yeah.

[B]

You never heard of hikikomori? Who.

[C]

Who's that? Is that a basketball player?

[B]

No, no. Have you heard of hakika Mori?

[D]

No. Who is it?

[B]

It's not. It's not a person. Oh. It's like, when you.

[C]

It's a behavior of yourself.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. There's no killing involved.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

It's. It's a Japanese shut in. Oh.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen YouTube videos of this.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

They, like, order everything in.

[B]

Well, their parents enabled them, and they don't leave the room. Right. Oh, it accumulates. Y. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. And they're just, like, living in trash, right?

[B]

Yeah, they live in trash, Kind of. Yeah. I mean, really?

[D]

Yeah. I leave into his own vices. Yeah.

[E]

You know, I had a question. Like, when girls get, like, the boob jobs, right? Is it, like, does it actually weigh something on yourself?

[D]

Like, you know, like, it does when I. So I've had them redone three times now, and the first time I went, I was very much like, go big or go home. So they were just. Just huge on my body. And the reason I had them reduced is because I was. I would feel the weight as I'd be walking around. I'd feel like I. I'd always need a bra.

[E]

Okay, you went downsize.

[D]

Yeah. I actually started to get the back pain.

[B]

Really? Yeah.

[D]

I'd never had that before.

[B]

Maybe get more reduced.

[D]

No, they're fine now.

[B]

Okay, well, you need back pain, huh? Yeah. Okay.

[C]

You could get one of those straps they have on Instagram to, like, adjust. You know that thing that you put on your bag?

[D]

You're like, I have one of those because I have scoliosis, sis.

[C]

Me too.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, you can't tell.

[C]

11 degrees. It's very little.

[D]

Yeah, mine, I think mine mainly in an X ray.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Really bad.

[B]

I have a friend that had 22.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[F]

Sure. Okay.

[B]

Abraham. Abraham, you walked out like a question. If you're walking around town with a gigantic bag of rice, would you feel the difference?

[E]

Two bags of rice?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah, I will.

[B]

And why'd you ask that question?

[E]

Well, it's because. I don't know, because it's part of your body.

[B]

So, like.

[E]

Like, you know, like, it's just natural.

[B]

It just absorbs the weight.

[E]

Yeah, because if you have, like, natural cleavage, you know, like, I think it's just normal weight. But when you get your boobs done.

[B]

You know, I think your theory is right. I think, like, Dolly Parton. Did Dolly Parton get hers done? Yes. No, I thought those are natural.

[C]

No.

[B]

Yeah, no, I look that up.

[C]

No, those are not natural.

[B]

They're natural, dude.

[F]

Oh, wait.

[A]

No, I think they're natural.

[B]

They're natural for sure, because she.

[A]

She had that's natural.

[C]

Stop right now.

[B]

In the seventies.

[C]

Like, an implant.

[D]

Looks like an implant to me.

[C]

That looks. Giant balls.

[D]

No, that looks like an implant.

[B]

No, she's proud. She had it since the late 60s. You think they had that in that? They did.

[D]

Yeah, they did.

[B]

What do they put in there? Like, rust and grain lead. Okay, Hair men, if you're starting to notice your hair thinning and you look in the mirror, you're not alone. Life just gets busier and busier, and it can feel like there's not enough time in the day to do something about it. So try hems Hair Loss Solutions. You can avoid jumping through a bunch of frustrating hoops and get access to treatment without even leaving your home. Hims Boy provides you with convenient access to a range of hair loss Treatments that work all from the comfort of your couch. Jaime.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

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[B]

What is there, like fucking rust and grains? Lead. Okay. Rustic.

[D]

I don't know what else those look like.

[C]

Those are implants.

[B]

They're not implant. Did you Google it?

[A]

There's no answer.

[F]

It's a mystery.

[C]

She scrubbed it on the Internet.

[D]

I'm saying implants.

[E]

That's implant.

[C]

Anyone could see that. That looks like two heads, 40 double.

[D]

D. It's under the muscle too.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Google.

[B]

Google. What's the most natural? You know, I mean, breast size. I mean the biggest breast with natural. I'm saying it wrong.

[D]

Mine look really natural.

[B]

No, without the thing. So we're looking out for people that were born with that big of breasts.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

Guinness Book of World Record.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Get his book. Book.

[D]

Haven't done this search before.

[B]

Surprising. I didn't know.

[A]

Right.

[B]

No, no. You know the information or. Now this lady. Right.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

This lady right here. Okay. Massivetips.com okay.

[D]

So that looks painful.

[B]

Do you think she had backache?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, no. This, this.

[C]

She looks so happy.

[D]

Quality of life is.

[B]

Yeah, she has bottom.

[A]

It says £89.

[C]

£100 of just both each. Crazy.

[E]

Is this on the worst?

[B]

£200 you think you should carry around?

[D]

I mean, it goes all the way. They're all the way down to her. Her.

[B]

Yeah, her belly.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Do you see scars in yours or.

[D]

No, they're under.

[B]

Under.

[D]

And mine hang a little bit more naturally. So you don't see the scars. Unless I'm like on my back.

[B]

Oh, why Size. It's not that big of a deal, that lady. Maybe you get a reduction. A reduction? No.

[D]

Why? Why do you keep telling me?

[A]

She's like, why? And you keep telling.

[B]

I've already accepted.

[D]

Do you not like big tits?

[B]

I let it go. I'm just seeing her.

[D]

She does need a reduction. Yes. That looks absolutely miserable. I'm surprised she can walk.

[B]

That's exactly. She has.

[E]

Like, is that the heaviest?

[C]

That's the.

[B]

That's the Guinness Book of World Record.

[E]

Did y' all see that? That, that. The new record. The new record.

[C]

What?

[E]

The fastest swimmer or what? The sperm.

[C]

Oh, yeah, the sperm con.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you guys think about that? They're doing sperm races now for money. Like millions of dollars.

[C]

I think that's crazy, but I bet I would win.

[A]

Would you beat Bobby in a sperm race?

[B]

100.

[C]

Dude, I haven't done half the things he's done.

[A]

Describe your diets right now. We'll let Mia decide.

[C]

I don't even need to know your diet.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

What is this?

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, show them that what it is.

[B]

Well, I don't want to see it, but I'm going to just tell you why I know my sperm will be.

[C]

Can we explain what it is?

[A]

So there was an investor that gave this like startup a million dollars to have looks like college guys race their.

[C]

Sperm under a microscope.

[A]

Microscope.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

So the sperm, they would create a racetrack of fluid.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And then the sperm would raise. Whoever won would win like a $200,000.

[D]

That's cool.

[A]

And there's like talking on mics. It's like a boxing match.

[C]

People are taking bets, you know, like it's a whole thing and. Okay. What, you think your sperm could be my sperm? Your 53 year old sperm.

[B]

Sorry. Your sperm is so explain to me what yours is. That. That's what your reasoning is?

[C]

Yeah. First of all, age alone.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

You're beating me by a decade.

[B]

Okay, I'm gonna tell you something. What I recently looked at. Observed my sperm under microscope.

[A]

Like this.

[E]

Like this.

[B]

And guess what? Guess what? What? They were wearing goggles.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And they shared their legs.

[C]

So they're more aerodynamic.

[B]

They're more aerodynamic. Hydrodynamic. And they're wearing little suits.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, so mine look like Michael Phelps.

[B]

Like long. No, crazy.

[C]

They got a crazy face.

[B]

Like, because. No. Okay. I don't know. Yeah, mine has that. Mine has a long, broad soul. Shoulders. Oh, like yours doesn't?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Where are they going though?

[A]

To this end?

[C]

I think to a toilet, I think. So it just comes out in the.

[D]

Toilet when it comes out. Is it still alive?

[C]

It's supposed to die immediately when it hits to air.

[B]

That's what we all.

[C]

All were taught in sex ed. But that's like the pull out method, which I don't think is actually a thing.

[D]

I think it helps.

[C]

It helps, but it's not 100%. I hear I never have to deal.

[B]

With it, obviously, but it's the slower one. All your sprints aren't fast. Is that slower one is.

[E]

Is.

[B]

I don't know how to say this. What do you think I'm saying something?

[F]

You try to.

[B]

Peter.

[C]

You try to say the R word.

[D]

That's where I thought he was.

[C]

You were trying to say that.

[B]

Are you out of your mind?

[C]

You first talk about autism and now you're trying to go for it.

[B]

No, that's it. Obviously. Yeah. Not. I'm not talking about that.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Okay, Okay. I can't believe it.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Sorry. No, I'll just say, are they just slower. Anyway, let's move on.

[E]

Hey, are you from Palm Springs?

[B]

What?

[E]

You from Palm Springs?

[D]

I was born in Palm Springs, but I grew up in the Atlanta Empire.

[B]

How did you know that?

[D]

Oh, he looked it up.

[E]

No, I know a Palm Springs girl when I see one.

[B]

What's a Palm Spring? Tell me what a Palm spring.

[A]

Name one restaurant there.

[E]

San Miguel Taqueria.

[F]

Damn.

[A]

He go Mexican.

[B]

Damn.

[C]

Of course none of us are gonna look that up.

[B]

It's ungoogleable too. It's a food truck.

[E]

I was just that stage coach, that's why.

[C]

Oh, you were just a stagecoach.

[B]

Yeah, that's right.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Do parents still live in Palm Springs?

[D]

No, they live in the IE Inland Empire. Yeah. So like I was born in Palm Springs, but we lived in Desert Hot Springs at the time. And then we moved to Hemet Senaceno. Pretty early on.

[B]

Yeah, but do you. I mean, it's a good town, I think, right? No, Palm Springs isn't.

[D]

Palm Springs is hem at Senate Center.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

Not wiser. Math.

[C]

Yes, a lot of math.

[D]

A lot of.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's impoverished.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Kind of like 8 mile.

[D]

I think so.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

There's so much PNP nowadays.

[B]

What's PNP?

[C]

Party and play. At least in the gay scene, it's very like methed up three day benders.

[D]

Oh, is it?

[C]

Yeah, I don't know.

[D]

I thought. Oh, no.

[C]

Yeah. In. In the gay scene, it's really big.

[D]

I thought they were doing like. Like molly and some ketamine.

[C]

No, that's like yeah, at the clubs. But, like, is these, like, orgies?

[B]

I've never been a part of the gay scene. You've gone on binges?

[C]

I don't. Because I don't do math. But I have friends who.

[D]

I'm glad.

[B]

I thought you meant dick binges.

[C]

I know they're not pretty.

[B]

Meant dick binges.

[C]

Yeah, no, that I do all the time. But, like, I. The amount of time I get reached out to by guys in Palm Springs while I'm on Grindr or Sniffies or.

[B]

Whatever, they're like, Sniffies?

[C]

Yeah. You like. You like Sniffies?

[B]

I don't know what it is.

[C]

Oh, like, it's a new app. It's a new app where it's just, like, all hookup.

[B]

Oh, and it's even women.

[C]

No. Well, no, it's just mostly guys or, like, people who are into guys. That's not for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But anyway, like, almost every other message is pmp. Want to smoke, Want to party. Yeah. It's very huge in the gay community.

[B]

Sniffies is the wrong word, I think.

[A]

Why?

[B]

It should be rubbies or something. Like, sniffies is a smell of baby. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, oh, pits. Or like, you like that? You like baby Bo?

[C]

I like a little musk. Yeah. I like a man to smell like he's been working all day.

[B]

Like, Mia, if you're, like, going down on your man. Jordan Rodney.

[A]

Played the character.

[B]

Yeah, I'm Rodney. That's right. And you're going down and you smell like something off. Like, a little bit of poo or.

[C]

No, not poo.

[A]

Something a little off.

[B]

Poo. A little bit of poo, dude.

[C]

Like a guy who's been playing basketball for 40.

[B]

That's what I meant.

[C]

That's what I meant.

[B]

Yeah. That's what I meant.

[D]

I'm not. I'm not on that train.

[B]

You don't like that, so you go. Can you go take a shower?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

I like. And I like teeth brushed right before.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You like.

[B]

You brush your teeth sparkly. Do I have to floss?

[D]

No.

[B]

Oh, thank God. So I had. Let's say you and I were dating. You'd be like, go wash your dick and brush your teeth and take the trash.

[D]

Not. Not before sex and take the trash out. Well, we'll brush your teeth before sex, but not if I was going down on them. Yeah. Maybe a shower.

[C]

Yeah, that's. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. How about you?

[C]

I like it a little dirty. I like it a little, like, musky dirty. Boy, if it's, like, too clean, it's like, what are you trying to prove.

[B]

That I'm clean and hygienic? That's what you're trying to prove.

[C]

I don't care about that.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah.

[C]

I want it a little stinky.

[B]

That's unusual.

[C]

Why?

[D]

I don't think you don't like. I think you don't. I think it's a more sexual person. Right. Who likes, like, that smell and everything.

[B]

There's. I can't hide the expressions on my face. I think that's the problem.

[C]

Like, you've never sniffed a girl's underwear.

[B]

Yeah. And if it's weird, I go.

[F]

He.

[A]

Holds it like that long. He holds it for a very long time.

[B]

I'm gonna be like, he just looks.

[C]

Like Robert De Niro. You talking to me?

[B]

I'm the only one here. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. All right, so it's not like a tank. I can't control my face.

[C]

I get it.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So I don't like it when it smells. Okay. Yeah.

[E]

I mean, I like it clean because.

[B]

Oh, why?

[E]

Yeah. Because it's a clean person.

[C]

Yeah, It's a dirty, gay. Just a dirty homosexual guy. Like stinky dick.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You like it clean.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

But are you clean? I don't.

[A]

That's a good question.

[C]

You don't seem clean.

[B]

You think he's.

[D]

Oh, he looks OCD clean to me.

[B]

No.

[A]

What?

[B]

No, no, no. Peter. No. We're on the same page. No, no.

[C]

That booty hole is nasty.

[A]

How many times do you wipe? Be honest.

[E]

When I'm pooping?

[A]

No, when you're sneezing.

[E]

Oh, when I'm sneezing.

[A]

Like when you're pooping. When you're pooping.

[E]

Oh, when I'm pooping, like, four times.

[B]

Oh, okay, Peter, I don't. I don't want to put you on blast.

[E]

Okay, Peter.

[B]

All right, so, Peter. Peter, if you were at a. A bar. Gay bar, and this guy hit on you.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Why would I be in a gay bar?

[B]

Because you're in the scenario. You. Let's just. Let's. You happen to be getting the scenario.

[E]

Okay, fine.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

You finally came out.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so is he. Somebody would.

[A]

How about you? How about you?

[C]

Just looks wise. No, I don't think so.

[A]

But check this.

[B]

Why? Why? But check this out.

[A]

Go ahead, flirt with him.

[B]

Come up to him. Yeah, yeah, I'll be here. I'll be like, it's a movie. I'm the director. We're co directing.

[C]

Oh, wait, I wanted her to be in the scene because she'd be.

[B]

Oh, then you Know what?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You're not directing anymore. You're gonna be in the movie.

[F]

That's normal.

[D]

Thank you.

[C]

You're my co star.

[B]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, you're right. Thank you.

[D]

Oh, my.

[E]

Hey, cheers. Over here, too. What's up, fellas and gal?

[B]

What's up? Cut.

[C]

What's up, fellas and gal?

[B]

Cut.

[C]

You sound like a killer.

[B]

Excuse me, Wait, am I gay? Yeah, you are gay. Get up. And also stick to the script.

[E]

Yeah, okay.

[C]

You're making up words.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're. You guys cheering in the beginning. It's too much.

[C]

I'll bring it down.

[B]

Keep it down. Okay. Yeah, it was way too much. Okay, so. And action.

[C]

Great funeral.

[E]

So sad. Right, ladies? My God, what are we sad about?

[B]

Keep going, Keep going. Stay in it.

[C]

Her husband just died. Yeah, yeah, we had the funeral and I think we'd like to be alone.

[E]

Yeah. I'll buy you guys a round of shots. What's up? It's for your grandma. Whoever died.

[C]

Her husband.

[E]

Her husband. Oh, that's so sweet. Are you there for her?

[D]

We have somewhere to be. Yeah.

[B]

Where are we going?

[C]

We're not going anywhere.

[E]

Stay here. Four shots.

[A]

Hey, four shots here at this funeral home.

[E]

Hey, here's my number if you want to take it down.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

He's so aggressive. It's kind of hot, but like, I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Hey, I do harder labor, so I'm a little must. If you like that. Oh, little musky in me.

[B]

Good. Keep going.

[C]

I know it's weird.

[B]

He knows how.

[C]

He knows my king. He knows my kink. But I'm into it.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

This is your number.

[E]

Yeah, Call it. You know, I'm on Sniffies.

[C]

You're on sn?

[B]

Hell yeah. Do you host?

[E]

Do I host on there? I don't know.

[C]

No, I no like.

[B]

Yeah. Can I sniff?

[E]

I do PNP and little D and D. You know what I mean?

[C]

No, I don't.

[B]

Sorry, I don't. Dungeon and Dragons isn't a thing.

[E]

I don't want to.

[C]

I don't. I don't role play.

[E]

Do you find me attractive? Oh, you're cute.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

You're cute.

[E]

I'm like a roast beef, you know?

[B]

What do you mean, you know?

[E]

I'm like. I won't come out until I'm perfect.

[D]

Huh?

[F]

Is that a roast beef?

[E]

I told you this before, but anyway.

[B]

He broke this.

[C]

It's a pot roast.

[B]

Oh, pot roast. Yeah.

[E]

Jesus.

[A]

Almost.

[C]

Almost.

[B]

Stick to the script.

[C]

I don't know, girl. He's. He's Team.

[B]

You gotta get him to blow you. Come on.

[D]

I think.

[E]

Hey, there's. There's a. We can go to a restaurant right now. There's a glory hole in there if you guys want.

[C]

He said the magic word. I have to go.

[B]

Restaurant.

[D]

I know.

[C]

You know, I love. You know, I love sucking dick through a wall.

[E]

Dirty, dirty man.

[C]

Come on, let's go.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[C]

Yeah. Are you okay alone? I know your husband just. But you know me, your gay best friend always ditching you for dick. So.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Is it okay if I leave?

[D]

I understand. It's extenuating circumstance.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

I'm so sorry about him passing. Again.

[E]

Yeah, Sorry again. Yeah, we're sorry.

[B]

How did he.

[F]

How did he die?

[B]

How did I.

[E]

How did he die?

[B]

No, you. Peter knows them for. Peter knows.

[E]

How did he die?

[C]

Oh, well, they were doing a scene together.

[E]

The scene.

[B]

Yeah. Actress.

[C]

She's a. She's an actress and, you know, they were doing a scene together and his heart exploded. Oh, yeah.

[B]

What? Well.

[C]

Anyway, I'm horned up.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

Come on, man.

[B]

And see. Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Prince.

[C]

Wow. Wow.

[B]

Great.

[C]

You got the guy.

[B]

Very good.

[C]

Wow, he's aggressive.

[B]

You're very aggressive.

[D]

Yeah. We're taking no for an answer. No.

[B]

He does that, though.

[C]

His eyes are so.

[B]

Baby, in Houston, he was like. Like, let's stand over there where the girls are. Why? Because they flock this way. He goes, yeah. Don't you do that when you were studying there in Houston. Patterns at the improv. Yeah, yeah.

[E]

What was I doing?

[B]

You do that all the time. Like, you know, give me her. Her number. Like a waitress will come. You go, can I get. No. Where did it happen? Oh, I know where it happened. Dallas.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So we're. Okay. We're in Dallas. We're at this. At the Thompson Hotel. Yeah. And there's a really cool breakfast spot, right? It's a high end waitresses. You know what I mean? Like, there are basically Silver Lake beautiful girls, hipsters. Right? And this lady was nice to us. And then as we were leaving, you.

[E]

Went back to what, trying to get her number.

[B]

Yeah. And in my mind it's like literally like Connor from. You know what I mean, asking out Margot Robbie. Like it was not gonna happen.

[E]

It was not.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. He has balls that way.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is incredible to watch.

[C]

It's. Yeah.

[E]

It's hard.

[C]

It's nice.

[B]

You have no bat, but you still swing.

[D]

Women say they want a guy with confidence.

[C]

Yeah. We love men with confidence.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I. I admire about. Keep that.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

The Confidence is hot.

[B]

So, me. Do you want to promote anything?

[F]

No.

[B]

Did you have fun here or.

[D]

No, I did have fun. Of fun.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

It went by quick, right?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

[B]

What. What would be a negative thing that you would say about what? What? I've never asked that. I've never asked that.

[E]

Was it him?

[B]

Why is EJ leaving?

[E]

Because it's. It's about him.

[C]

Back.

[B]

Oh, that's right. Get. Bring Brendan here.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Can we just pull up? Who leaves then?

[F]

Put.

[B]

Jaime leaves. You have to stay. Can you stay for another 10 minutes?

[C]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Okay. So my friend Brent Weinbach is promoting a special, and I wanted him on so he can promote amazing. All right.

[A]

Hey. Hey.

[B]

Brent Weinbach, everybody.

[C]

Hi, Brent.

[B]

Sit down.

[C]

How are you?

[B]

Oh, he's so cute.

[F]

You think I'm cute?

[B]

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Thanks.

[B]

I love your brothers, too.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You want to put the headphones on?

[F]

I can. Yeah.

[C]

Up to you.

[F]

How come you're not wearing.

[D]

I mean, you don't have to wear them. It's optional.

[C]

Her hair is beautiful.

[F]

Well, yeah. You know, my. My hair. What about my hair? Is it beautiful?

[D]

Exactly.

[B]

So good.

[F]

I don't want to let somebod. Is it better if I wear headphones?

[B]

No.

[F]

I mean, do I look more like a podcaster if I wear them?

[B]

No, no, no. But how do you normally do it? I want to make you feel comfortable.

[F]

I usually go raw dog. Like this.

[B]

Okay. Raw dog it. Yeah. Raw dog it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

But you asked about the comfort. I would see the chairs, the fact that you can't move them very much.

[F]

Oh, yeah, yeah. They are kind of stuck. I was trying to get.

[B]

Yeah. Guys, switch out the chairs. Okay. Okay. Is that the only thing?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Happy birthday to us. Because Confetti Craze five Hour Energy Shots are back, baby. All cake, no sugar. You can have your cake and sip it, too, minus any sugar. Guilt cake ify your day with a quick, easy, portable, tasty caffeine boost. The Funfetti flavor is back on five hourenergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shots today. Strawberry banana. Five hour energy shots are also delicious. It is one of our favorite flavors. It reminds me of like when you're in the mall during the 90s and you get those little smoothie samples of strawberry banana. It's like that. With a tasty caffeine boost. The Funfetti flavor is back on 5hourenergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shot today. Happy birthday to us. It's delicious. Get it. Hey everyone. As you know, Tiger Belly uses and loves Shopify. If you recently purchased our 10 year anniversary free merch and you went to our website slept kingdom.com, just know that was all powered by Shopify. And if you're listening to this right now, know that 2026 is the year you launch your very own business with Shopify. 2026 is the year you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household names to first time business owners. Just getting started. And look, if you're really bad at writing copy, guess what? Shopify has built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit product photos. And you're probably wondering, hey, I don't know how to market. Guess what? Marketing is built in to create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. And as you grow, Shopify grows with you. Handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the same exact dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com tigerbelly go to shopify.com tigerbelly that's shopify.com tigerbelly hear your first this new year with Shopify by your side.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Anything for you.

[C]

A lot.

[B]

Okay. You guys know each other?

[C]

Yeah, we. I mean through comedy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not. Did you guys like each other in comedy or. No, of course.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh yeah. The best.

[C]

I love your stuff.

[F]

Oh, likewise.

[C]

Yeah, the bits. The bits are good too.

[F]

Oh, thanks, thanks, thanks. So you like my stuff and the bits?

[B]

And the bits, Yeah. I feel like there's no connection.

[D]

I feel like he doesn't remember.

[C]

I've never seen him before.

[B]

Are you being real?

[C]

No, of course not.

[A]

Happy birthday to us because Confetti Craze five hour Energy Shots are back, baby. All cake, no sugar. You can have your cake and sip it too, minus any sugar. Guilt cake ifyour day with a quick, easy, portable, tasty caffeine boost. The funfetti flavor is back on five hourenergy.com or Amazon. Crack open confetti craze five hour energy shots today. Strawberry banana five hour energy shots are also delicious. It is one of our favorite flavors. It reminds me of like when you're in the mall during the 90s and you get those little smoothie samples of strawberry banana. It's like that with a tasty caffeine boost, the Funfetti flavor is back on 5hourenergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shot today. Happy birthday to us. It's delicious. Get it. Hey everyone. As you know, Tiger Belly uses and loves Shopify. If you recently purchased our 10 year anniversary merch and you went to our website slept kingdom.com, just know that was all powered by Shopify. And if. If you're listening to this right now, know that 2026 is the year you launch your very own business with Shopify. 2026 is the year you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household names to first time business owners. Just getting started. And look, if you're really bad at writing copy, guess what? Shopify has built in AI tools that write product description and headlines and help you edit product photos. And you're probably wondering, hey, I don't know how to market. Guess what? Marketing is built in too. Create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. And as you grow, Shopify grows with you. Handle more orders, expand to new markets, and do it all from the same exact dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com tigerbelly go to shopify.com tigerbelly that shopify.com/tigerbelly. Hear your first this new year with Shopify by your side.

[B]

And you've never seen him.

[C]

No, I know. No, I'm saying. Of course not. I'm not being real. I've seen him. We've been on lineups together.

[F]

Oh yeah, yeah, we've been on lineups.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

He does remember.

[B]

But there's people. I'm on lineups.

[D]

Who.

[B]

They're like, I hate this.

[F]

Okay, look, I'll be honest. I don't. I don't fully remember everything.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

But I do remember an essence.

[C]

Yeah, you did leave right after your set, so.

[F]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was. It was that show. Yeah.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Anyway, can you introduce this fine gentleman, Brett Weinbach. So, ladies and gentlemen, he has. What's the special? Where is it?

[F]

It's on YouTube.

[B]

YouTube? When does it come out?

[F]

It's out now.

[B]

It's out now.

[F]

It's out now. Popular culture is the name of the. Is the name of the show.

[B]

Yes.

[F]

Popular culture. Brown Weinbach. In fact, don't even don't even watch the rest of this episode. Just pause it. And before you form a negative opinion on me, just watch the special first.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

And then come back and finish the episode.

[B]

Oh, I see. I see.

[F]

It'd be. I mean, it might.

[B]

Well, I think you're pleasant.

[F]

Oh, well, thank you.

[B]

I mean, my fondest memory with you is at Al Magical's house with your brothers.

[F]

Oh, you like that?

[B]

I love your brothers.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

We should have brought. I should have brought the whole family, but it is kind of like a family here.

[B]

It is, it is.

[F]

I feel like I've got a new family now.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

It's better, actually.

[B]

So, Brent, he's from San Francisco. And what year did you start?

[F]

I started in the early 2000s. I met you probably when you were doing Kim's a comedy.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Was that 2005 or something?

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

You were wild back then, I feel like. Yeah, I feel like you kind of. It was almost a different person. I feel like.

[B]

I feel like, too. Yeah.

[F]

You were generous, though, back then.

[B]

I'm generous, but I was a little too wild.

[F]

Wild and generous.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, I think that would be a good definition.

[F]

I mean, I think the first time I met you, you were wrestling on the floor with somebody.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

And I was intrigued.

[B]

You're intrigued? Yeah.

[F]

And I'm actually, I. I'm from Los Angeles, actually. I grew up in Los Angeles, but I started in San Francisco.

[B]

Oh, I always thought you're a Bay Area guy. Yeah, yeah.

[F]

No, I know. I just. I think I probably look more like a Bay Area person than a Los Angeles.

[B]

What is a Bay Area person skipping Silicon Valley?

[F]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right. Okay. Yeah. So maybe I look kind of techy. A little bit.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Even though I'm not techy.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, why don't we switch up the techy look?

[F]

Oh, you mean just make it new, make it fresh?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

So do you think and I should sort of like, get dreadlocks or something like that? No, no, no.

[B]

Too much.

[F]

No, just bleach, some. Some various tips.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. How about just shave your head a little bit?

[F]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah. Right. Grow a beard.

[F]

Get a treyhawk.

[B]

Yeah, a trey hawk. Yeah, grow a beard. How about these, like, John Lennon glasses?

[C]

Oh, you think that I would love the little lens?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

A little frame.

[B]

And wear, like, warlock clothing that you would see in a Renaissance fair.

[F]

Okay, so go for the Renaissance look.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Renaissance look.

[F]

You know, I never really resonated with the Renaissance thing, but I Think maybe I could start to change things up. And I think maybe that could work.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Have you been to the Renaissance Fair?

[B]

I went yesterday, and I went to the week before.

[F]

Oh, that's why it's on your mind.

[D]

A couple weeks. What did you dress up as?

[B]

Well, the first time, I had never been Brent, so it's like they go, you can rent an outfit. So I walked in there and I walked and everything was taken. So I just put this vest on. I have my regular clothes, and people are like, what the fuck is he? Right?

[F]

I went once and I dressed like this.

[B]

Yeah, but they make fun of you behind your back.

[F]

Oh, they did, and they really screwed up.

[B]

Yeah, he up.

[F]

Oh, man.

[B]

So what I did was I called my all. All my Korean homies. Asian homies. Okay. Let's go to the residence fairs. Did you see our photos? Incredible. And dress like old school. Yeah, you mean Korean people. So we rented expensive and we dressed to the tilt, and we were the hit of the town.

[C]

Really? They loved it.

[B]

Everybody was like, really? We've never seen this. This is insanely good. Whoa. And so the next time we go, we're gonna bring a 20 entourage of all Asians dress. You're coming.

[C]

I'm. Yeah. I'm upset that I wasn't there yesterday.

[B]

Yeah, but we'll put a chain around your neck.

[F]

You know why?

[B]

You're not. No, you're not.

[C]

Yes, he is.

[F]

He's Filipino. Filipino?

[C]

Wait, you didn't know that?

[F]

No, I thought you maybe knew that, but maybe. I don't know. Maybe I also thought you didn't know that.

[D]

Oh, that's so good.

[B]

That's what we dressed up yesterday.

[C]

Wait, who's this hot guy with the shaved head?

[B]

Oh, that's Gene Hong.

[C]

Who's Gene Hong?

[B]

He wrote for Beef. He wrote. He was the executive producer of Magnum PI and he's so. He's my best friend.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've never gay at all before. Not gay at all.

[C]

I don't. It does. He doesn't have to be gay for.

[B]

Him to be high. Okay, can we just say he's hot? All right. You know Andrea, Jen.

[C]

Love her.

[B]

She's a client. She's a climber.

[C]

Climber?

[F]

What do you mean socially?

[C]

Oh, I thought you meant business life.

[F]

Oh, business.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh, business wise.

[B]

Oh, financial.

[F]

I thought I. I actually. Really? Actually, I was making a joke. I thought you meant she did mountains and stuff. She was just like. I thought she had good grip.

[B]

Yeah. I think she was free soloing. It yeah, yeah. No, no, no. She was the first to die on that. But she's a little climber.

[C]

She's a climber. Okay.

[B]

And then.

[F]

So she climbed into that little. This little force.

[B]

Yeah. And then dumbfounded, is a boy.

[C]

He looks incredible, too.

[B]

Look at his eyes. Yeah, yeah. And I. Do I look like the leader?

[C]

You look like the cab that they rode in on the rickshaw.

[B]

Yeah, I look like a rickshaw driver, actually.

[C]

You know those poor Koreans that carry the rich ones around?

[F]

I think you look like the house mom.

[B]

I don't know. What do I. What? Why? What?

[F]

I don't know.

[C]

It looks.

[F]

You look kind of. You're dressed in a sort of matriarchal Lee way, kind of.

[B]

Well, I'm the kid.

[C]

That's a man's costume, though.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's a men's costume.

[F]

I know it is a man's costume, but it feels like. Like a matriarch.

[C]

Like a wife.

[F]

No, not a wife.

[D]

Someone in a leader position.

[F]

A leader, but with a sort of warm, nurturing, motherly energy.

[B]

Look at Gene behind me. What a friend.

[C]

He looks great.

[B]

Yeah. You know what that was? A tarot card reader.

[C]

What did you get out of this? Reading anything.

[B]

And she lost me in the beginning.

[C]

Why?

[B]

She said something like, you have no money now, but in two weeks. What? I know. In two weeks you could come to some where you can spend a little.

[F]

You have no money.

[B]

As soon as she said that, I was like, I don't.

[A]

Was not right.

[C]

Yeah, you don't know what the.

[B]

I'm talking.

[C]

Go back to school.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

I have a question. Did. Am I sitting in. In Jaime's chair?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Because I just notice. I noticed you're over there and I thought, oh, how come you're not over here? And I thought, oh, I must be sitting in your chair.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. You took it.

[B]

You took it. Why?

[F]

You want to sit on my lap or anything?

[C]

Sit on his lap.

[F]

Or maybe I can sit on yours.

[B]

I mean, can he sit on your lap?

[F]

No, I don't want. I just. I.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

I felt like I took his place or whatever. So.

[B]

What? Okay. How many specials have you on? Have out.

[F]

This is my second special. Special.

[B]

And the first one, where was it on?

[F]

That was on. Well, it was on CISO originally, and then it was on Amazon Prime.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

You can just watch on a Vimeo now.

[B]

Just. Right.

[F]

Vimeo channel. Okay, but that one's called appealing to the mainstream. But this one, though, I mean, that was the best jokes of the 2000s this one is the best jokes of the mid to late 2010s.

[B]

Wow.

[F]

And one good. The best joke from the last two years also.

[B]

Wow.

[F]

Not just of mine, but out of anybody.

[C]

Everyone's.

[B]

Oh, this is the top.

[F]

It's the top.

[B]

Eating Dilber. Yeah.

[F]

You name it.

[C]

It some Russell Peters, Rodney Dangerfield.

[B]

Oh, really? Wow.

[F]

Yeah, I mean, it's really.

[B]

That's joke's that strong.

[F]

It's pretty much the best special that you'll. You'll never see.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Unless you do it now before.

[B]

You're gonna watch it now, everyone. Watch it now.

[F]

Watch it now.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And so you move down here and I forgot. Are you with somebody?

[F]

I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with all of you.

[B]

No, we're all here.

[F]

You mean romantically or you mean some other kind of way?

[B]

No, romantically.

[F]

There's no one in my life in that way. No, I'm really particular.

[B]

Same here, dude.

[F]

Oh, yeah. Oh, I saw you the other night. I don't know. Somebody interesting. You were with a very tall, beautiful woman. Woman?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

She looked like a model.

[B]

Okay, well, what a woman can. I re. Can. I'm not. I'm not. Okay. I'm not with somebody.

[F]

The work of Jaime. Because I'm in a sea.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Women. Officially seeing somebody is what I'm saying.

[F]

Oh, I see.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

It's not solid.

[B]

It's not a solid thing. Yeah. And I'm looking. Aren't you looking for solid or no?

[F]

Yes, I'm sure. I'd love. I'd love to, but it's.

[B]

What do you see in a woman? We'll make a list. Now, number one, What's.

[F]

What I need out of them?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

No pets.

[B]

Oh, interesting already.

[D]

Good luck.

[F]

Everyone's out.

[E]

That's why.

[F]

That's why I kind of gave up. I kind of gave up.

[B]

What do you mean, no pets?

[F]

I don't like pets. I'm allergic to all of them.

[C]

But, like a goldfish.

[F]

I'm allergic to fish. And Tamagotchis Digital. I'm allergic to all of them.

[B]

All right, so cats. Dogs are all cats and dogs.

[F]

I. I'm allergic. I am allergic to cats.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

And dogs. I'm a little bit allergic to dogs.

[B]

Yeah. What about doodles?

[C]

They don't shed. I have doodles, but I'd also.

[F]

It's not even about that. I just don't.

[C]

You don't want.

[F]

I don't want intimate.

[C]

I don't.

[F]

That's not what I want in my life right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

You know, I want a woman, not a dog.

[B]

Oh, I see.

[F]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, but did that to be the number one thing is weird.

[F]

I know that.

[B]

Number one, no fucking pain pets.

[F]

That's. That's the biggest.

[B]

That's all right. Number two. What is it? What are you looking for?

[F]

How about no tattoos? No offense to everybody. No offense to every single person here.

[B]

Probably no pet. You have to.

[F]

I mean, that's not a huge.

[B]

No pets. No. You have pets?

[A]

Nope.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Number three, how about something you're looking for right now? You're like, no, no, no.

[F]

I want. I wish there was a dating application that sets you up with things you don't like. Like, you know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, that's good. All right, so what. What else don't you like?

[F]

Cuz I think if you don't, that's how you can match compatibilities, is if, oh, if we both dislike the same stuff. Oh, we're good.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Then we can just learn from each other the stuff that we have.

[B]

That's. Dude, make that happen.

[F]

Someone try.

[C]

I would kill.

[B]

What?

[F]

Someone tried already.

[B]

Really?

[F]

Yeah, it was called Hater. It was on Shark Tank.

[B]

Oh.

[F]

But it. I guess it didn't work out.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

No, you don't name it Hater. Yeah, don't name it that.

[F]

You just got to name it.

[B]

I don't know.

[F]

Popular culture, the best standup comedy special. It'll make people kind of think, oh, I should check that out.

[B]

Right, right, right. What else don't you look for then? This is fun.

[F]

I mean, look, I, you know, I'm a clean person. I don't drink. Drink or smoke or anything. And, you know, that would be nice.

[B]

Right? All right, so someone that doesn't do any drinking or smoking or drugs. Someone that has no pets and someone that no tattoos. Has no tattoos.

[F]

And if they know movies, I feel like, well.

[B]

Or I'm a girl. I'm a girl. Yeah. So what's your favorite, favorite Kurosawa film for?

[F]

Oh, really? You're bringing up Kurosawa?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

I mean, I don't know. I haven't really seen a lot of Kurosawa already.

[B]

You don't even know you.

[F]

I know the movies. I've seen, you know Rashomon? I've seen.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[F]

Seven Samurai.

[B]

Oh, that's good. If a girl said that to me in a date, that right there is like click, click. That. Yeah.

[F]

Oh, that. She's discerning.

[B]

Does she know that she even knows who, you know who Kurosawa is. Is. Yeah. Do you know who Kurosawa is?

[C]

Yes, from being on this podcast. I've only heard that name on this podcast.

[B]

Yeah, but you know about it, of course. Yeah.

[F]

I mean, that's a good. I know. I. I mean, I know movies, you know.

[B]

Oh, let me ask you another one.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

So what's your favorite? I mean, do you like Sergio Leone or.

[F]

You know, I haven't seen a lot of his movies. The Good and the Bad and the.

[B]

Ugly, you know, I mean, already check marked for me.

[D]

Me.

[B]

That's what I'm looking for.

[F]

She can name a movie. I mean.

[C]

Okay, she can name you're both, and you're both still single. That's so odd.

[F]

Wait.

[B]

That's so weird.

[F]

You look for that, too. Movies.

[B]

Yes.

[F]

Well, I just feel like that's my frame of reference, you know?

[A]

Me, too.

[F]

You know. Okay. This is what I like.

[B]

Okay, go.

[F]

You want to know what I like?

[B]

What are you gonna say something?

[D]

You could just show that. Isn't it fun to show them the movies that you love? You can watch them, enjoy it for the first time.

[F]

I want you to show me the movies, you know? I want you to show me something I haven't seen.

[B]

Exactly. I'll tell you why. Okay. So Curacao was considered the greatest director of all time.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Like, there would be no Scorsese, De Palma, all that class of guys.

[F]

He's like the popular culture of movies.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

So for free on YouTube.

[B]

So for free on YouTube.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

And so for me, it's like, if you don't know that, like, where have you been, baby?

[C]

That's doing other things. That's not, like, the biggest thing to know in life.

[B]

Did you see Barbie?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that's my problem.

[C]

Why?

[D]

The only way a girl will know that is if a guy taught it to her.

[B]

That's not.

[D]

Other girls aren't showing that to women.

[B]

Andrew Santino. Hold on.

[C]

Finally.

[B]

Hold on. Andrew, do you remember.

[C]

No.

[B]

Andrew.

[C]

What was he even talking about?

[B]

You're on Tiger Belly. I just need to answer ask you one question. Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

When you and I are at the lax. Lax and we ran into reality show people, who were they? We ran into Abby from Love on the Spectrum. Exactly.

[C]

Is he running?

[B]

Yeah. That's. You're. That was the only point I wanted to make. Thank you so much, Andrew. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow, Andrew.

[A]

Bye.

[D]

You know, how do we know that you.

[B]

Okay. Anyway, go ahead. Oh, the movies.

[F]

No. You know what? You know what I like? What Is someone With classic style.

[A]

What's that?

[E]

What's that?

[F]

Timeless. You know what I mean?

[C]

Like below the knee skirt or whatever.

[F]

Or at the knee.

[D]

Oh, you're looking for conservative.

[F]

No.

[B]

Or you go.

[F]

Or you go 80s style and you go above the knee, you know? But it's classic. That kind of ties into the tattoo thing. Cause I feel like tattoos are this thing where. That's so new to me. That's a modern thing. Tattoos are really. That's modern.

[C]

You want a throwback look.

[F]

I don't. I'm not a police officer.

[C]

What?

[B]

You're not?

[F]

And I never have.

[C]

What.

[F]

But I have a cop mentality, and I want to keep these streets clean. And I feel like tattoos are kind of like graffiti of the body. I like it clean and classy. Sick.

[B]

How old are you now?

[F]

I'm in my mid-40s.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right.

[F]

But I. I'm kind of thinking I'd like to have children, you know?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

And raise them to be classic, too, you know? Raise them to be police officers.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm onto the. I think you're. There's a movement about to.

[F]

Oh, a classic movement.

[B]

A classic movement. Really? Yeah, yeah. Because even your clothes. I've always thought this in my head. It's very clean.

[F]

Like, I'm a narc.

[B]

Not nar. Yeah, narc. A little bit. Yeah. You know what?

[F]

You know what's a deal breaker on women and what ever even men is vaping.

[B]

Oh.

[F]

You know what I mean?

[B]

You're out.

[F]

That's a. That's. That's just below pets.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Wow. Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

I can't stand.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Like cigarette vaping or weed.

[D]

What about smoking cigarettes?

[F]

Any. Any vaping at all?

[B]

Any. He already said no smoking.

[C]

He said no drugs.

[F]

But here's the thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

I actually, like. I. If I had to pick, I would pick smoke a smoker over a vape paper.

[B]

Wow. Never heard that before.

[C]

Because it's classic.

[B]

What about a girl that.

[F]

I wouldn't pick the cigarettes to begin with, though. Yeah.

[B]

Okay, So I smoke weed. Okay. Like 25. I don't smoke it. I don't smoke it. I just take the gummies, but I take it all day long.

[F]

Oh, it's. But see, I think we won't connect on that. I think.

[B]

Right.

[F]

We'll be on a different wavelength, I think. Right.

[B]

I don't know. Don't you think this is the first time I even thought about it?

[C]

What do you mean?

[F]

Yeah, I know. I'm trying to expand your mind.

[B]

I'm trying to what?

[F]

You're still the girl, right? Yeah. You're still. You're still a girl, right?

[C]

Yeah, I am.

[B]

Yeah. I'm Tanya.

[F]

Tanya. I like that name. That works.

[B]

Classic.

[F]

Yeah, my friend, actually, my friend in junior high, he had a crush on this girl named Tanya. And then he, for some reason someone told everybody that I had the crush on her. And it was pretty embarrassing to me, but that my friend's name was Robert Lee and his family called him Bob Hobby.

[B]

Wow.

[F]

He was my best friend in fifth and seventh grade.

[B]

White guy?

[F]

No, he's Korean.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[F]

Korean American.

[B]

Yeah, that was me Asshol. You forgot?

[F]

Yes. No, I remember the energy. Yeah, I remember that. I remember the essence, you know?

[B]

All right, so what else?

[F]

I mean, that's pretty much all I need, man. What else? Look, I mean, someone who's not passionate. Someone that has someone who's just rational, you know?

[B]

Oh, rational, reasonable. Oh, reasonable.

[F]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

You know that there's not. It's not all. I think passion can just get. Be difficult, right? You guys passionate?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Wait, wait. It's really hard. I'm passionate?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

I mean, okay, sure, if you're passionate about. I mean, but are you really passionate? Like, can you be swayed?

[B]

Can I be swayed?

[F]

Yeah. Can you be swayed?

[B]

I love standing in my career.

[F]

Can you be Sway in the morning? Can you be Sway? Sway to the Breakfast Club or whatever?

[C]

You mean dj? Yeah.

[F]

Can you be the vj? Sway in the morning.

[C]

That's too much passion. That's too much passion.

[F]

You ain't seen, you've never seen dancing like this.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

Remember that? Can you do that?

[C]

No.

[F]

Can you be swayed? I mean, sometimes people, when people are so passionate, they cannot hear any, any counter to anything.

[B]

If a girl said to me, you know, I think the stand up comedy is not working out for you, you know, I mean, I don't think I can be swayed with that.

[F]

So you're saying you're passionate enough about stand up comedy or my career?

[B]

I love my career. I love podcasts. I love my. The direction of my life.

[F]

It's great to love it and stuff.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

I guess what I mean by passionate is, is, you know, like when people are just. They just can't. They can't compromise at all. You know what I mean? They can't hear any other point. And it's when it comes to like.

[B]

The death penalty or something, something like.

[D]

Stubborn or like Christian goggles, like you can hear something. You can hear as much reason as you want about the other person's side. It'll never sway you.

[F]

It just seems like passion causes war and the wars never get resolved because people are too passionate.

[B]

You're on to something.

[F]

Oh, really?

[B]

I think so, Yeah. I think you convinced me. I just got swayed.

[F]

Oh, see? Oh, good.

[B]

It's not even a breakfast.

[F]

Yeah, I confuse those shows, you know?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. So you want somebody that's rational.

[F]

Sure.

[B]

Critical thinking.

[F]

Someone who's not too, you know, politically charged. You know what I mean? Someone who just sort of looks at every things from different perspectives.

[B]

But how do you feel about Brett?

[D]

He's giving me serial killer vibes.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

She's not for me.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

That'S the vibe. That's the vibe.

[E]

It's not a match.

[B]

It's not a match.

[F]

It's not a match. Yeah, that's what I mean.

[C]

Yeah. You don't even eat. Consider it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

No, I get that Sometimes people are scared of me. They think I kind of have a. That sort of Norman Bates kind of look or whatever. I. I can sense that you felt that way about me. Psycho.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[F]

You've seen that one, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Name five other Hitchcock movies.

[C]

It's that intensity. It's the eye.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Birds.

[B]

North by northwest. Birds.

[F]

Oh, good.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

It was close, though.

[B]

North by northwest.

[F]

What'd you say? North by what?

[D]

No, I don't know. He said that.

[B]

View of the window or what is.

[F]

It south by southwest? There was Bonnaroo. Sasquatch.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

No, you could probably name five, right?

[B]

I. Yeah, I mean, I got north and northwest wrong. South by southwest.

[F]

No, no, it is north by northwest.

[C]

I was joking.

[B]

Oh, you were? Okay, I was named.

[F]

I started naming vegetables instead.

[B]

Birds. Birds.

[F]

Got birds. Really? You guys don't know Hitchcock?

[B]

Rear of Window. He's the Rear Window.

[F]

Rear Window. That's the best one.

[B]

Yeah. Rear Window. I know about much more. I just have to think. Do you know any Rodrigo?

[F]

Yeah. Okay, Jaime's got him.

[B]

Yeah, he's got the computer in front of him. Oh, that's cheating.

[C]

He's reading off a list.

[B]

Give me a different. Give me different director.

[F]

All right, name three Whit Stillman movies.

[C]

Who is that?

[F]

You won't get it.

[B]

You won't get it. I got you one. Name me two Todd Solins movies.

[F]

Oh, I can name three. I mean, there's happiness, welcome to the Dollhouse. And storytelling. Yeah, easy.

[A]

It's not.

[F]

It's not. I mean, I saw him.

[B]

I saw all three.

[F]

I went. I. I saw him too. And I saw I saw him live. I mean, I saw him speak at. At Berkeley when I went to Berkeley. Spoke there.

[B]

I have a happiness poster in my bedroom framed.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You and I don't even need to be here, honestly. Like, you two could just do that.

[B]

I mean, there is glimpses of you. I see. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

What in. In what? Just being into movies or something.

[B]

I mean, I. Yeah, I think that.

[C]

I think it's that. I think it's that you found something more Korean.

[B]

No, what I'm saying is, is that I would never use that as, like, if they don't know, you know, anything about film. I do feel that, but I think I'm being too harsh when I think that way. Don't. If he reads a tilt, swit, whatever, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Put that till a Swinton movie. Put that down the computer screen. Screen. And if you don't say what I know, you're cheating. No, I'm not.

[D]

We're talking.

[B]

We're talking. We're talking. Is that. You're not talking right now. So.

[E]

Hey, Brent, Name me 3 PTA movies.

[F]

3 I named. I can name all of them. I can name all of them.

[B]

We'll go back and forth.

[F]

I can. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

We'll see who dies first.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I'm gonna die first. I can tell. Magnolia.

[F]

Okay. You know, There Will Be Blood.

[B]

That was my next one.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, I think I have another one.

[F]

I'm trying to go obvious first Licorice pizza.

[A]

What'd you say?

[F]

You know. Did you say Magnolias? Now you said it right.

[B]

That was a really good one. I mean, those are the four. I know. I'm so sorry. Oh, really?

[F]

You don't know any other. Yeah, so I was saving Hard eight for last, probably. And I was, you know, of course there's Punch Drunk Love.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

You know what else is there? The phantom thread. And what's the new.

[B]

We get it anyway.

[F]

We get it.

[B]

You're a nerd. We get it.

[F]

Well, what are you into? I mean, let's see if we can connect on that, you know?

[B]

Well, do you know what she does for a living?

[F]

No, I don't.

[D]

So I. Take a guess.

[B]

Yeah, take a guess.

[F]

Are you. Are you a pediatrician? Feet.

[D]

No.

[F]

But.

[A]

But that's.

[B]

Kids.

[C]

Kids.

[D]

Something in social media.

[F]

Oh, okay. Do you reach out to people and say, we can grow your channel for $2,000 or whatever? We'll give you 5,000 views.

[D]

Getting warmer.

[F]

Getting warmer.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

So you just. You Manage people's accounts. You manage his account?

[A]

We have his account in here as a guest.

[F]

Oh, okay. Still not that.

[D]

Actually, he's very close. Close.

[B]

You are very close.

[F]

Are you mad at your own account?

[B]

Yes.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

You do brand deals.

[B]

You promote. In a sense. She does.

[F]

You get deals, creams.

[D]

Huh?

[B]

You promote creamy. It gets really creamy. It gets really creamy. Yeah.

[F]

Okay, so you promote, like, facial creams.

[C]

No, there are facials. There are facials.

[B]

There are facials. Yeah.

[C]

You are classic. Yeah, go classic.

[F]

An Internet personality who gets endorsement deals and you promote them. Right, right.

[B]

True, true.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Good.

[B]

But what. But why did they. She get the endorsement deal.

[F]

Cu. She's popular.

[C]

Very popular.

[E]

Popular. Very beautiful.

[D]

The.

[C]

What the hell? This is scary.

[B]

Very beautiful.

[C]

This guy. You better be on the spectrum.

[A]

Spectrum. He's on the spectrum, love.

[C]

On the spectrum.

[B]

You're very beautiful, Mia. You're so beautiful.

[C]

He's got a little knife.

[F]

Did you say that while you were looking stuff up on the.

[B]

On her socials so she. Can we reveal what she does now?

[F]

Well, I. Look, I don't want to, I don't know, jump to any conclusions or anything like that, but based on the kind of clues that you guys are giving me, I'm getting some sort of sense that there are. I don't know, maybe there's some things that involve adults. Maybe in this.

[B]

Yeah. Yes.

[F]

In this job. Yeah. Huh? There's adults involved.

[D]

There are adults involved.

[F]

So. No. So pediatrician was way off.

[B]

Way, way off.

[C]

Way off.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

So, yeah. Is the. So what do you do? People's taxes online?

[B]

I'm an accountant.

[D]

I'm an accountant.

[B]

Yeah. She's an accountant. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Good job.

[F]

No, I don't want to. I mean. Do you work in the motion picture industry in some kind of way, in some capacity?

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

We were working on the Frog King, which is a movie that we're coming up with.

[F]

The Frog King.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Is that what all the. There was? I was in the other room and I was hearing a lot of rowdy laughter. It was sounding real. I thought. I felt like. I can't wait to get in there and find out what was happening. All I heard was pot roast.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And.

[F]

Wow. That's the only words I could make out.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, those. It's a movie. Who came out with this? The frog.

[D]

Oh, yeah. There.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And what happens is. Well, we want to get back into it.

[C]

We can't get.

[B]

Let's just tell him what you do. So he's she's an adult.

[F]

An adult actress. Actress, meaning you're a grown woman who acts in movies, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, in a sexual way.

[F]

Oh, it's sexual.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[F]

No. What is that?

[C]

The necklift? Was that Bobby after the necklace?

[D]

That looks really good.

[B]

That looks really good. Yeah.

[C]

Why do you look like that character from Ice Age?

[D]

He does.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

It kind of looked like. You know, obviously someone said ET Already.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

No, no, I think you put that on anybody, they're going to look like.

[B]

Thank you so much. Yeah.

[F]

I'm not saying you specifically look like E.T. but anybody.

[B]

She's an adult film actress that has only fans.

[F]

Film. Probably if it was film that would be more classic style, kind of more new school, right? Yeah, I take its video. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Anyway. Okay. We got. Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

So keep. So.

[F]

So. Yeah. What do you.

[C]

What's.

[F]

What do you do for fun then?

[D]

Fun. Oh, okay.

[F]

Yeah. What is your hobbies?

[B]

I love them.

[F]

Besides I guess, penises and stuff or whatever. Whatever.

[D]

That is a hobby. That is a hobby. It's his hobby.

[B]

Me too.

[C]

That's how we.

[D]

Playing video games.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Huh.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

He's like waiting for movies. You're slipping already.

[F]

No, no, get to movies. The thing about it is, is I actually do. My hobby is video games. But it's not what kind of game. It's not the ones you. Any of them. Any of you play?

[C]

What do you.

[B]

Well, I mean, we just had a guy named Eric Barone on my podcast.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Do you know he is.

[F]

Never heard of her.

[B]

It's a man. And he created this game called Stardew Valley.

[F]

Oh, yeah, I saw you talking about it with Ben Schwartz. Yeah, I. I know about it. I haven't.

[B]

What do you play?

[F]

I play old stuff from the 80s. Classics, classic, early early 90s.

[B]

Like what?

[C]

Mario Brothers?

[F]

I mean, that's. That would be. You know what people would. Probably the frame of reference people would know. But I mean, I don't want to. I don't want to get into this because you guys are not going to know. Look, we have our movie thing going, but then I start naming these games and then nobody's on board.

[A]

Name one.

[B]

Name one.

[F]

I mean. Okay, Gimmick. That's for the hardcores. Okay. Is that the camera? There's probably 1% of you that knew what I'm talking about. The Famicom game. Gimmick. One of the best games on the Famicom. And that's all we'll say.

[A]

Mic drop.

[B]

Mike oh, yeah, this guy.

[F]

You know that one.

[B]

Wow.

[F]

You know, you guys don't want this. Trust me.

[B]

Why? It's too complicated.

[C]

It's too much.

[F]

This is. This is way worse than naming P.T. anderson movies back and forth. Oh, this is gonna be. Look, I'm really into video game music. I have a video game music podcast called the Legacy Music Hour, and it's not for anybody except for 1% of them.

[B]

Yeah. Is this what it looks like?

[F]

Yeah, this is one of the best. Okay, well, that's the new. They did. They kind of re released it and added this new stuff here where there's achievements and stuff. Yeah, no, the. The original game is a work of art, though.

[B]

It is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I believe you too.

[F]

Look, I play some new games every now and then, but they're probably also not games that maybe you guys play. The Witness was my favorite games of the last 15 years.

[B]

The witness.

[F]

The Witness.

[B]

What is it?

[F]

Do you know who Jonathan Blow is? He made the game break. Okay, I'm not. Forget it. What is.

[B]

Because the host is doing this. That's not a bad thing.

[F]

No, no, no.

[A]

That'S a good thing.

[F]

I just know that this is going down a bad hole.

[B]

Okay, so what is Witness?

[F]

The Witness. It's a puzzle game. Jonathan Blow, who made Braid.

[B]

Is that it?

[F]

Yeah, that's the game.

[B]

Yeah. Can I see a screenshot of the gameplay?

[F]

The gameplay is you're kind of drawing these line kind of maze puzzles, but there's different mechanics that are involved. Like that. You don't need to get into that.

[B]

Yeah. Sign our algorithm or something. I don't. What is that?

[F]

Well, what games do you play?

[D]

I like Open World RPG and like, that's what. I like fantasy.

[B]

Me too.

[D]

I don't play Stardew Valley, but I play Disney's Dreamlight Valley, which I heard is very similar.

[B]

Oh, really?

[D]

All about grinding.

[B]

That's the masterpiece.

[D]

And decorating.

[B]

That's the masterpiece.

[D]

I get it.

[B]

You have to do it.

[D]

No.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah.

[D]

I don't have time for both.

[B]

Get rid of the Disney one.

[D]

No.

[B]

Look at this. Look at how watered down that is. And Wall E's in it. What's Wall E doing?

[D]

Well, or Disney bought Pixar. We just got Star wars too, you know.

[F]

See, I have this game from Nintendo called Adventures in the Magic Kingdom, and it's basically kind of like the old version of that. You know, go around Disneyland and go on the rides and stuff. It's true. It's really true.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's serious.

[B]

You Literally, just go on rides.

[F]

Well, there's game experience within the rides.

[B]

This one.

[F]

This is my version of your game. Just now, just go to Disneyland. Yoko Shimomura did the music to this.

[B]

Oh, Yoko Shimura did it. Oh, no.

[F]

You literally just.

[B]

Oh, this is what it looks like.

[F]

She did the music to Street Fighter.

[B]

All right. Okay, so what do you do? Explain to me what goes on here.

[F]

What is it? You go to different rides. Look, I'm not saying this is the best game or anything, but I'm just trying to connect.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. And.

[F]

And, you know, there's different. You know, whatever. You play the different rides, basically.

[D]

I think it's cute.

[F]

There you go.

[D]

Yeah, it's cute.

[F]

You know what? It just might work out after all.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Well. And then can you go inside the building once you get there? Or you're just like, I got made it here.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

What's.

[D]

What's.

[F]

No, no. The game takes place in the park. Oh, okay, look, that's supposed to be the Thunder Mountain. That's the Thunder Mountain ride.

[D]

Cool.

[C]

These are for the kids who had poor parents that couldn't take them off.

[B]

I see.

[C]

Just play this game.

[F]

This is all we needed, and we didn't have to step outside our house.

[B]

Wow. But don't waste.

[A]

Europe.

[F]

It's funny. We're, like, looking at footage of this game. This is not even. There's other games to check out.

[B]

It's cute. Yeah. This is something I could play.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. The Loading Scream's a little long, but okay. All right. Anyway, so.

[F]

Yeah, but you guys play these modern games and stuff. I mean, those are a little too complicated for me, usually. I like simple stuff.

[B]

You're a simple guy from a different age.

[D]

Classic guy.

[B]

You're a classic guy.

[F]

I'm into classic stuff, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Do you like any classic stuff?

[B]

What about you?

[D]

I like 50s and 60s music. That's what I listen to.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Like what?

[D]

Oh, God. I can show you my playlist. I'm like, weird. Yeah.

[F]

Don't put on the spot. You know, she doesn't. She just. You like that kind of era and you like that feeling.

[D]

I don't listen to albums. I only listen to songs.

[F]

Yeah, sure.

[D]

And then I make one playlist. I'll occasionally, one time a year, add a song to it, and that's all I listen to.

[B]

I have a problem with that.

[D]

Yeah. I don't.

[B]

I don't have a very, very big problem with that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm an album guy. Yeah. I mean, like, an album you can judge in its entirety and go, that's a masterpiece.

[D]

See, my issue is I find a song I love, and just none of the other songs compare. Do you guys like show tunes?

[F]

Yes.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

I want you to be more aggressive with that.

[F]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Be more aggressive.

[F]

Yes.

[C]

It just sounds.

[B]

I love my life. I don't like it.

[F]

No. I love.

[B]

Whatever.

[F]

I love musicals. Musicals are the combination of all the art forms in one.

[B]

All right, get Brett, Mia, and Peter, Kim and Jaime a round of applause. Thank you so much for being here. Nice to meet you.

[D]

Dumb dumbola Shokomoki.