Rick Glassman & The Spotlight

Summary

TigerBelly Podcast Summary

Episode: Rick Glassman & The Spotlight
Date: August 5, 2026
Host: Bobby Lee
Guests: Rick Glassman, Cat, Luke
Producer: All Things Comedy

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Episode Overview

This episode of TigerBelly delves into the dynamics of being in the comedic "spotlight," with a focus on the vulnerability, competitiveness, and camaraderie of stand-up comedians. Bobby Lee is joined by Rick Glassman, Cat, and Luke to explore their journeys in comedy, their creative anxieties, and the sometimes awkward, always unpredictable energy that comes with unscripted conversation. The group navigates bits, roasts, meta-reflection, honest admissions about showbiz, and the evolving landscape of comedy, both professionally and personally.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Pressure and Play of Comedy Podcasts

Timestamps: 00:45–05:00, 44:00–46:00

• Immediate tension after ad break as Rick challenges Bobby’s hosting style, sparking playful bickering that sets the tone for a chaotic, self-aware episode.
• Quote:
  “Why don’t you start by zipping it up and letting us talk for a little bit. Shut up. I’m asking you a question.” —Rick Glassman (00:47)
• Bobby and Rick argue over segments, intros, and what jokes should stay or be cut, blending behind-the-scenes podcasting with comedy.
• Rick pokes fun at the on-the-spot nature of podcasts:
  “This is terrible content. Put on some isometrics.” —Rick Glassman (04:00)

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2. Bits About Identity, Age, and Comedic Personas

Timestamps: 05:02–16:00, 44:00–46:00

• The crew jokes about names, ages, and ethnic backgrounds, lampooning the way comics are "introduced" and tested in the industry.
• Quote:
  “Your job isn’t to hit the ball. Your job is to step up to the plate and be present.” —Rick Glassman to Luke (46:11)
• Running joke: The confusion over Rick’s age and history, turning his own comedic mythos into a bit.
  “You booked the first audition you ever went on.” —Bobby Lee (15:15)

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3. Industry Realities, Representation, and Getting Passed

Timestamps: 16:01–26:00, 65:30–70:00

• Bobby shares the challenge of breaking into the industry as a minority before diversity increased in casting.
  “I got in right when they were like, ‘You know what? We should use minorities.’” —Bobby Lee (24:10)
• The panel discusses being "passed" at The Comedy Store—what it means for a comic, dealing with rejection, and the elusive feeling of arrival.
• Quote:
  “I started being honest. Not feeling like I needed to tell everybody my truth. But if it wasn’t rooted in it, it’s not sustainable.” —Rick Glassman (63:50)
• They reflect on milestones feeling anticlimactic or not changing one’s life as much as anticipated.

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4. The Edges of Cultural Comedy

Timestamps: 12:00–14:40, 61:00–63:00

• The group pokes fun at racial and cultural stereo­types but frequently pulls back, acknowledging the delicacy of edgy material now versus the past.
• Discuss how mentioning certain ethnicities (e.g., “Mexican Coke,” “frijoles”) can be edgy, but can also be harmless if the intent is correct.
• Quote:
  “Let’s try and do an episode where we’re not just being edgy.” —Rick Glassman (13:42)
• Ongoing self-policing and meta-commentary on what’s “cancelable” underscores comedy’s changing rules.

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5. Reflection on Success, Charitable Giving, and Real-life Struggles

Timestamps: 41:35–44:00

• Rick opens up about negotiating gigs, asking for what he’s worth, and his charitable giving: “I probably give to charity, probably $20,000 a year… Epath, that’s people assisting the homeless.” —Rick Glassman (42:18)
• The group discusses how helping others can be both a practical matter (donating time or old furniture) and a way to build meaning beyond stand-up.

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6. Vulnerability, Spotlight Anxiety & Support

Timestamps: 44:01–47:00, 65:05–79:00

• Rick gently calls out Luke’s discomfort under the “spotlight.” The conversation gets meta, with Bobby and Rick noting what makes someone funny or anxious in a group dynamic.
• Quote:
  “Your job isn’t to hit the ball. Your job is to step up to the plate and be present.” —Rick Glassman (46:11)
• The room acknowledges the discomfort of silence and the high standards comics are held to, even when just conversing.

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7. Comedic Roots, Inspirations & Early Material

Timestamps: 73:48–77:05

• Rick credits his mother for his comedic instincts and mentions Will Smith and Shia LaBeouf as key influences.
• Bobby reminisces about his early tapes and the visible "seeds" of his future stage persona.
• Quote:
  “If you watch people’s first jokes, instead of looking how funny are they, but how does their mind work? What are they attracted to?” —Rick Glassman (77:01)

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8. Bits, Improv, and Flow

Timestamps: Throughout, esp. 55:30–62:00, 83:00–84:00

• Throughout, the group cycles between chaos and rhythm, riffing on Batman villains, movies, and mundane topics (e.g., stale churros).
• Rick freestyles:
  “Mark Wahlberg, invincible, underrated, indispensable, matter of fact, a figure of opinion...” —Rick Glassman in a playful, rapid-fire spoken word (61:34)

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9. Endorsements, Outlets, and Sincere Reflection

Timestamps: 84:00–87:12

• Rick shares details of his upcoming tour (Edinburgh, Amsterdam, UK, Portland, more) and reflects on being “championed” by Bobby Lee.
• The closing vibe is sincere, with Rick and Bobby joking but also affirming their real friendship:
  “Despite the kind of, like, back and forth jousting…we are friends. You really have been a champion of mine at The Comedy Store.” —Rick Glassman (85:12)

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Memorable Quotes

• "You’re supposed to say miso." —Rick Glassman, riffing on Asian stereotypes with tongue-in-cheek irony (09:41)
• "I masturbate when I have anxiety." —Bobby Lee, mixing blunt honesty with humor (30:53)
• "I want to be 100 years old and still learning." —Rick Glassman, on reinvention and humility (65:04)
• "Women, you think traditionally, biologically born women, they give birth to life. All we do is eat nachos and jerk off." —Rick Glassman, on the absurdity of male/female dichotomies in joking (61:14)
• "Your job isn’t to hit the ball. Your job is to step up to the plate and be present." —Rick Glassman, about podcast dynamics and anxiety (46:11)

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Notable Moments (with Timestamps)

• The bit about “Comics Unleashed” & industry inside jokes: (06:25–08:10)
• Discussion about breaking into commercials as an Asian comic in the 90s: (24:10–25:30)
• Meta-analysis of the group’s podcast chemistry: (45:05–45:56)
• Rick’s charity shoutout and challenge to Bobby to join in: (42:27–43:05)
• Honest reflections about being “passed” at The Comedy Store: (68:00–70:00)
• Rick freestyle rapping as the episode climaxes: (61:34–62:10)
• “Spotlight” anxiety segment—Luke’s self-consciousness and group’s support: (44:09–46:46)
• Sincere ending—appreciation and turning bits into warmth: (85:12–86:12)

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Episode Vibe and Tone

The episode is quintessential TigerBelly: playful, improvisational, barbed yet affectionate, and riddled with both high-concept bits and candid reflection. The rapid switches between absurd jokes and serious self-examination—often within the same breath—underscore the vulnerability, pressure, and joy that come from living life as a comic and podcast regular.

Fans and new listeners alike get an authentic, unvarnished look at what it’s really like behind the laughs—rivalry, anxiety, gratitude, and all.

Transcript

[Announcer]

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[Bobby Lee]

Okay, I want to help. Help?

[Rick Glassman]

Well, why don't you start by zipping it up and letting us talk for a little bit. Shut up. I'm asking you a question. And instead of even thinking about what I'm asking you. You're not even listening to me right now. You put the microphone back. Hold on.

[Bobby Lee]

You didn't think us for lunch.

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, just relax.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank us for lunch.

[Rick Glassman]

Are you nervous? Are you scared? What are you feeling? Because I didn't realize that this was real until I started this a couple of minutes ago and I realized, oh, we're making jokes and stuff and like there's something going on.

[Bobby Lee]

Breathe.

[Luke]

Thank you for lunch. It's very good.

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, funny.

[Bobby Lee]

We're on Spotify video. Hey, Tiger Belly Video now available to watch on Spotify everybody. Spotify premium users get fewer ads and more eyes.

[Rick Glassman]

We love fewer ads and more eyes.

[Bobby Lee]

We love more eyes. Yeah, get the third eye. Fourth More much videos. And watch it. Hi, Bobby, how are you?

[Rick Glassman]

Good, thanks. How are you?

[Bobby Lee]

Good, pal.

[Rick Glassman]

Ken. Nice to meet you. Yeah, I'm a little sarcastic sometimes. My intention is play. And that's not to make any excuses. But I think everything's in focus because, well, you're the sharpest thing I've ever seen.

[Cat]

Thanks.

[Luke]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, that's a lie. A couple of drives of this.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, Jesus. I got confused. I thought Bobby had a glow up both of them. We're going to use both of them. So Diet Coke is back in. I've noticed Diet Coke and boobs are back in the zeitgeist.

[Luke]

That's true.

[Rick Glassman]

And cigarettes.

[Cat]

That's true.

[Rick Glassman]

Don't get me started.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, good. Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, Bobby. Starting the episode with I.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a good one. Anyway. I've never been able to roll my tongues.

[Cat]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

How many? None of them.

[Bobby Lee]

None of them. Yeah.

[Cat]

All the tongues.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I have a fat Korean. North Korean tongue. Yeah. No, you don't like it?

[Rick Glassman]

Can not.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I don't have. Who's can.

[Rick Glassman]

Your editor?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Your pet.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right. That's right. Yeah.

[Cat]

Bobby, can you whistle?

[Bobby Lee]

Wait.

[Cat]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you everyone whistle?

[Cat]

I can't. I can't do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you whistle? He won't do it. Yeah. All right. How about. That's really good. You want to do a competition? How long we can go.

[Cat]

I can't. Okay. Or maybe I'll count.

[Luke]

This isn't great for the audio listeners.

[Rick Glassman]

This is terrible content. Put on some isometrics.

[Bobby Lee]

It's terrible content. Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Maybe edit out since Bobby came in, and then we could do it again.

[Bobby Lee]

You want to start over?

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay. I would. I could just put those. Okay. Put those on.

[Rick Glassman]

Welcome back to another episode of Tiger Belly. This week's sponsors are.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, hello Kitty. No, I'm kidding. I don't know.

[Rick Glassman]

Good. I'd like us to have our headphones on, at least for a little.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you do that again? Because I want to cut that part out.

[Rick Glassman]

Which part?

[Bobby Lee]

This. This. That whole thing. Because hello Kitty wasn't funny.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, yeah. You don't have to cut out everything. You could just cut out the hello Kitty part and you could just. Your pickup.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, let's pick it up. Put those on.

[Rick Glassman]

Welcome back to another episode of Tiger Belly. This week's sponsors are Cabbages. Funny.

[Cat]

Yummy.

[Luke]

Funnier.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not funnier.

[Cat]

Fermented.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Organic.

[Rick Glassman]

So funny. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I. This is my show.

[Cat]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

May I do the introductions? If I.

[Luke]

If.

[Bobby Lee]

If I may. Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

Say may a few more.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Cat]

July.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. We have Catbird in the house. Give a round of applause. Comics unleashed.

[Cat]

Oh, yes. I got asked back. Did I tell you that?

[Bobby Lee]

Are you gonna do it?

[Cat]

No, I don't think so.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Oh.

[Rick Glassman]

Somebody put their collar on.

[Bobby Lee]

And apparently, you know, I mean, UTA signed you. Give her a round applause for that. In the big leagues. All right. You passed yet at the store.

[Cat]

I'm not.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. You will be. Clap for that.

[Rick Glassman]

I just want to say that I said, somebody got her collar on. And in case that's not understood, I was just teeing up for a comics leash. I meant nothing about you being a woman or a man.

[Bobby Lee]

I never even got that joke. Yeah, I didn't associate with it, but

[Cat]

now I feel a little bit uncomfortable because of that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, so in other words, you're comics Leashed Laugh track.

[Announcer]

Laughter.

[Cat]

Bang it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Laughter. Act, please. Thank you. We have Luke from comics Unleashed. Yeah. Assistant. You should be an assistant.

[Luke]

Correct.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

I was not asked back to Comics Unleashed.

[Bobby Lee]

You were not asked back.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

But you got on and that's a good thing.

[Luke]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Rick Glassman is not yet done it,

[Rick Glassman]

but I am trying. Do you want to do it Comics Unleashed?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Since little boy. I think you'd be great on it.

[Rick Glassman]

I want to be on and I want this. I want to have a joke about like Diet Pepsi. See me up for my Diet Pepsi joke.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, well, well. Welcome to Comics Unleashed. I'm buying Ireland, right? Not what.

[Announcer]

It looks good.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a good impression.

[Announcer]

Yep.

[Bobby Lee]

Hello. Hello. Check out the weather channel. Applause, applause, applause, applause, applause, applause. Oh, we got Rick Glassman here.

[Cat]

Oh, I mean, sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, give him a round of applause.

[Rick Glassman]

Thanks.

[Bobby Lee]

Baron.

[Rick Glassman]

Baron. I've been wanting to be on this. Byron. I've been wanting to be on the show. I was now doing this with Trump's kid.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I've been wanting to get on a while.

[Bobby Lee]

So you like Diet Coke?

[Rick Glassman]

You know, it's funny that you bring that up. So you know what, Byron?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Cat]

Byron.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Cat]

Byron.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. Rick.

[Rick Glassman]

You're a vampire. I want to drink your blood.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Rick, Rick, I don't tell me more.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't think I want to talk to you about Diet Coke.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, oh, well, let me. Can you cut the cameras? This is part of my act. We emailed you the joke. Yeah. You know what I mean? I tee you up.

[Rick Glassman]

This is.

[Bobby Lee]

I.

[Rick Glassman]

Do you read the emails I send back.

[Bobby Lee]

But what I'm saying is that this is how the work. This, this works. Okay. So I'm going to tee you up.

[Rick Glassman]

You mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, Rick.

[Rick Glassman]

You mean leash me up? It ain't comics leashed.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we.

[Rick Glassman]

Comics leashed.

[Bobby Lee]

Hello.

[Rick Glassman]

You might as well watch Premium blend.

[Cat]

Jody Miller comes.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a good show. I did that show.

[Rick Glassman]

That's a great show.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. So off. Why I was on that show.

[Rick Glassman]

It's a great show.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, thank you. Applause, applause, applause, applause, applause, applause, applause.

[Rick Glassman]

I think that's where I learned about Greg J.

[Bobby Lee]

Tell me about Diet Coke.

[Rick Glassman]

And that's where I.

[Bobby Lee]

You'd been drinking a lot of Diet

[Rick Glassman]

Pepsi, learned about d. Do the joke.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. The bit's over.

[Cat]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's like a. You set up the bit and you

[Rick Glassman]

didn't let me do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, I did. I did do it.

[Rick Glassman]

No, no, you didn't. You became crazy vampire Byron Alle and you went all over the place. You weren't even looking at me when you were talking.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm looking at the camera.

[Rick Glassman]

This is my show, and that's the problem.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, that's not a problem. Don't point at me. Okay, so let's. Let me do it, right, Bobby. Talk about Diet Pepsi.

[Rick Glassman]

Bobby. It's done, dude. That's the cost of the choices you made.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, I'm sorry. We have other comments.

[Rick Glassman]

You're supposed to say miso.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Rick Glassman]

Nothing.

[Cat]

So horny me.

[Bobby Lee]

So horny me. Is that a song?

[Luke]

It's from a movie, I think.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I think.

[Cat]

Beastie Boys, right? Oh, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Two live crowd. Yeah. Me so horny. Yeah. Anyway, you're still high.

[Rick Glassman]

You're still.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, you came in with high energy. You're a little high.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm mellow, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but, you know, don't tell me. Don't tell me that you came here and it's phased out.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm sorry, but do you not know how much trouble Faison is in right now?

[Bobby Lee]

I know Face On's in a lot.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, unless we're talking about the remake of the remake of Scrubs.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And we're talking about Donald Faison.

[Bobby Lee]

Ah, right. Which is what?

[Rick Glassman]

Say when Zach Braff, the doctor wants to check your throat.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't even get that good.

[Rick Glassman]

So I've been working more on that kind of comedy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

Pretty good.

[Rick Glassman]

Based on stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

It's pretty good. So Faison, love is in trouble is what you're saying.

[Rick Glassman]

I saw something about that recently, and what a talent that man is.

[Bobby Lee]

He's an old friend. He's a San Diego guy. I love that guy a lot.

[Rick Glassman]

Bring him over. Have him.

[Bobby Lee]

I would love. I would love to have him on What?

[Luke]

Trouble. What's the trouble?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know, but I saw him in a jumpsuit. Oh, right. Was he in a jumpsuit?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And by trouble, you mean his fashion sense on the carpet, right? Keep it in. Whatever, man. I don't want to not be able to take swings.

[Cat]

You got to take them.

[Bobby Lee]

You got to. I've been missing.

[Announcer]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Since we've started, I've missed.

[Cat]

No, you haven't.

[Luke]

I haven't.

[Cat]

I don't think so.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, I think the whole vampire, vampire now thing worked. I don't think that worked.

[Rick Glassman]

People will be talking about it.

[Cat]

Yeah, I mean, hello Kitty maybe, but other than that.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, we're gonna cut that out. We're putting cabbage, right?

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, the cabbage. That was fun.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

Use cabbage.

[Bobby Lee]

We're keeping cabbage. But anyway, which could be the name

[Rick Glassman]

of this episode when somebody says, did you see it and how was it? And you go, k, B, K Bash. Take it out.

[Cat]

Like Garbash.

[Rick Glassman]

Take it out.

[Cat]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

Take it out, take it out. I can't miss like that. Yeah, take it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Oh, good, good.

[Rick Glassman]

But like, I've been working a lot more on fason kind of stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I get it, I get it. And you've been doing.

[Rick Glassman]

I've been taking myself more seriously.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, in what way?

[Rick Glassman]

Not farting around as many CEOs, if you know what I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You're not chasing that Hollywood jam.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, I was never chasing the Hollywood jam.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you were.

[Rick Glassman]

No, I was farting around CEOs. What does chasing Hollywood jam mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I mean, you were like auditioning a lot, getting shows.

[Rick Glassman]

Dude, I've had. I've had maybe 30 auditions since I moved here.

[Cat]

That seems like a lot.

[Rick Glassman]

18 years.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, but you, your track record, you got. You booked the first audition you ever went on. You booked.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, I just so happen to have been able to show them that I was able to take direction.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know.

[Rick Glassman]

I was funny enough.

[Bobby Lee]

You prepared?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I got lucky.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. No, then the second one you auditioned for, you got.

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, man, people hit two home runs in a row. Doesn't mean that they're Barry Bonds.

[Cat]

Yeah, it does.

[Bobby Lee]

SH. Otani.

[Cat]

Sh.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, man. Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Black or Asian, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Where. What am I? What you say? Mark McGuire. You think, oh, he's cheating. Barry Bonds. You don't think that. Cuz he's so good. Even if he was right. I love Barry Bonds. I know.

[Bobby Lee]

I've never heard of Barry Bonds. Explained.

[Cat]

He's the San Francisco Giant. He's like played.

[Rick Glassman]

He's big.

[Bobby Lee]

Like he's Cyclops or something.

[Luke]

Odyssey.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, like an odyssey.

[Cat]

Yeah, yeah, playing.

[Bobby Lee]

Cuz we just saw it, you know. Yeah, yeah. So don't do that.

[Rick Glassman]

Get a facelift.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, don't do that in front of me, bud.

[Rick Glassman]

What? I can't. I could. You're not allowed.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm going to do too. I have a headache. I have a headache.

[Luke]

I. I was, I was thinking about House.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

A guy who like can't, you know, you like, you're trying to read like Chinese or something. You can't figure it out. And then he like does the thing with his eyes and it's like Percy Jackson style. You can all of a sudden read it. It's like perfect English afterwards.

[Rick Glassman]

Keep it in.

[Luke]

That'd be cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Who does it?

[Luke]

Just like a guy. It'd be cool if there was, like, a guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that'd be cool. That'd be cool. There was a guy that could go back into the future, too.

[Luke]

That's a movie.

[Bobby Lee]

Cool. Yeah, that would be cool.

[Luke]

My thing could be a movie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

Of a guy. He could. He could understand that. Chinese runes and stuff. But he has to go like that with his eyes, and people get mad.

[Rick Glassman]

Why not just get a Chinese guy, someone who reads it?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, yeah.

[Luke]

It's like he has to do it. He's the chosen one.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, when he's doing that, is he seeing. Like, if he sees a Chinese letter and he's doing this. Right. He sees more.

[Luke]

Like, he can understand it.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, when you're trying to see far away, you go like this.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. That's not a cool power.

[Luke]

It's like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

That is a very.

[Bobby Lee]

Or go to class. Nobody's got to learn how to.

[Luke]

He's fighting crime. He can't be in class.

[Cat]

What's his ethnicity?

[Luke]

White, probably. White or. Well, I guess it could be black.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

Black or white. Probably not Asian as we. Not Asian.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't. I don't like. Listen, I know. I'm not worried about getting canceled, but, like, I am being honest. I don't. You guys are talking a lot about race and stuff, and I just. I'm sorry, but, like, I think unless we have people here that could speak on the. The plight of the.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Can you turn that off?

[Rick Glassman]

That's black guy or the Chinese guy or whatever.

[Cat]

I guess Mexican would also be an option.

[Luke]

Yeah, that's true.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

It doesn't matter. It doesn't.

[Cat]

Why we didn't.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Let's try and do an episode where we're not just being edgy.

[Luke]

Okay. Let's start.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. We. I wasn't.

[Cat]

Just because you say.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Just because you say Mexican does not

[Luke]

mean you pulled your eyes back.

[Bobby Lee]

You're the one that pulled your eyes back and looked right at me.

[Rick Glassman]

Unless you say food.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

You're trying to be edgy if you just say Mexican.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And you're talking about the culture.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Cat]

How about coke? Mexican?

[Bobby Lee]

How about frijoles?

[Rick Glassman]

Fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I say frijole?

[Cat]

Mexican. Frijole.

[Rick Glassman]

All right. Totally in prison. Why don't we get started?

[Bobby Lee]

All right, let's start. Let's start from the beginning.

[Rick Glassman]

My fault, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, welcome to Comics Unleashed.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm firing out, and you don't have to be intimidated by me. Listen, I'm not gonna pull it out here.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Let me ask you something.

[Announcer]

Okay?

[Bobby Lee]

Do you look to Rick like he's an old school guy?

[Rick Glassman]

We're probably close to the same age. How old are you?

[Luke]

You're like an elder. Very small comedian.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Luke]

It's far above me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, well, way far back.

[Rick Glassman]

How old are you?

[Luke]

25.

[Rick Glassman]

You're five years older than you.

[Luke]

That makes me.

[Bobby Lee]

You're not 30.

[Rick Glassman]

I just turned 30.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know.

[Rick Glassman]

30 last week.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no way you're 30. That's impossible. So I knew you.

[Luke]

What year were you born?

[Rick Glassman]

What, 96.

[Luke]

What year did you graduate high school?

[Rick Glassman]

I didn't. I didn't graduate high school.

[Luke]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Sorry.

[Luke]

That's nothing to laugh.

[Bobby Lee]

That is a fact.

[Luke]

That's nothing to laugh about.

[Bobby Lee]

He didn't go to elementary school or middle school or high school?

[Rick Glassman]

No, I went to high school. I left in 2010.

[Bobby Lee]

In 20.

[Cat]

We're the same. You left high school in 2010?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And then what year did you get the first sitcom?

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, it feels like

[Bobby Lee]

I tried to do the math here.

[Rick Glassman]

I really don't.

[Bobby Lee]

18, right? 2010. Okay.

[Cat]

Yeah, that's right.

[Bobby Lee]

So you got your first sitcom at what?

[Rick Glassman]

It was in my.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So you were 21?

[Rick Glassman]

No, I don't even think I was 21. I think I was 18.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you were 18 when you got your.

[Rick Glassman]

I left. I left a nightclub. I left high school to bleep what he. Where he said he met me. I had a fake bleep that I met. I left.

[Bobby Lee]

Crazy.

[Rick Glassman]

I left in high school to cut because I was visiting and I got a KFC commercial. And then I ended up doing a BMO Harris bank commercial and an El Pollo Loco commercial. That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

I did a.

[Rick Glassman]

And. And then. And when I. And I got the pilot and I was 18, and remember, I had to be out here and I was not going to be able to do the El Poy Loco commercial. And my manager or lawyer at the time was able to get them to move the El Pollo Loco commercial. And I was so glad so I could do success.

[Cat]

When is your birthday?

[Rick Glassman]

July. What are you July as well?

[Luke]

No, but it. That means it was just your birthday.

[Rick Glassman]

It was last.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, happy birthday.

[Luke]

Happy birthday.

[Bobby Lee]

You turned 30.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. You could tell if you look at my face sometimes if I go like this, I look a little younger.

[Bobby Lee]

Come on.

[Luke]

Come on.

[Bobby Lee]

A little bit. Doesn't it?

[Rick Glassman]

It makes everybody just pull it back a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

I just got back from Korea and I'm Andrea Jin. Keep that in.

[Luke]

Keep it.

[Rick Glassman]

Boy, are. I just got back From Korean boy

[Luke]

are my arms tire. That's a merch merch there.

[Bobby Lee]

That's fun. That's good. Merchant.

[Cat]

Blue chew, chew, chew, chew.

[Bobby Lee]

Blue chew.

[Cat]

Guys, guys. Sex is back on the table.

[Bobby Lee]

What we serving here, baby?

[Cat]

Or the counter or the bed or wherever you do it. Thanks to Bluechew Gold, the new arousal boosting formula from the number one better sex brand. Bluechew is making bedrooms noises again.

[Bobby Lee]

And it doesn't get just get you hard.

[Announcer]

No way.

[Luke]

Yeah, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

It gets you aroused, honey turned on, dude. Got performance anxiety, brah.

[Announcer]

Luke does.

[Bobby Lee]

You do, Dude. Not with this dude. Bluetooth gold quiets the nudge so you can handle business, bruh, when you take a Bluetooth. Yeah, tell me about it.

[Cat]

Natron, get ready to meet your new dick. He's confident.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Cat]

He walks into the room with a chin up.

[Bobby Lee]

Why not? Knock knock.

[Cat]

Makes eye contact.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait. Knock knock.

[Cat]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's there?

[Cat]

Oh, who's there? Sorry. My dick's heart. I'll do it again.

[Bobby Lee]

Knock knock.

[Cat]

Who's there?

[Bobby Lee]

Knock knock. That's the sound of your bed post when you use a Bluetooth, dude. Oh, wow. Wow, dude.

[Announcer]

Luke, you good over there?

[Luke]

Yeah, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

Bluetooth gold is better sex in a tablet.

[Luke]

They combine four ingredients in a one powerful solution.

[Rick Glassman]

Two ingredients get you hard physically and

[Bobby Lee]

then two more support arousal.

[Luke]

You get that arousal and desire in your brain.

[Bobby Lee]

You go, I want to have sex. Let's go, dude. Guys, have a complete experience experience in the bedroom with Bluetooth gold, bro.

[Announcer]

Well, there's a reason bluechew is the number one brand for better sex. Experience it yourself. @bluechew.com we've got a special deal for our listeners right now. When you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third free with promo code Belly. That's promo code Belly. You will also receive an additional 10 off free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. We thank bluechew for sponsoring the pod in the bedroom. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Hell yeah.

[Announcer]

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[Bobby Lee]

Shopify.

[Cat]

Shopify.

[Bobby Lee]

Shopify. Oh, yeah, Shopify. You know, we have an online business here at Tiger Belly. Business. Yeah, and we use Shopify. But you know why? Because we want to only use the best business to get our products out. And if you've been sitting on a business idea for a while, Shopify makes it so easy to happen. It's everything you need to start selling

[Rick Glassman]

is included and ready from day one.

[Bobby Lee]

It's.

[Cat]

It's.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like this, Luke. You know, I do some interior design. I hire people to make it look my house to look like I want it to look. That's what Shopify does for your page. Right? You can do all kinds of stuff. Fonts, make it pretty. You know, to sell your product, you need it.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You need a pad.

[Luke]

I'm trying to grow my merch myself.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Anyway, Shopify, anyway.

[Cat]

And then what Shopify does is it handles everything. It handles this, the setup, the checkout,

[Bobby Lee]

so you can use that time to

[Cat]

focus on growing your business and the

[Luke]

tools to do it.

[Bobby Lee]

And the purple button.

[Cat]

What's the purple button?

[Bobby Lee]

You know about the purple button, don't you?

[Announcer]

What happens in the purple button?

[Bobby Lee]

It's a classic purple button that you press on Shopify, the app.

[Luke]

Yeah. I've been trying to start getting my merch out there. T shirts, stickers, all that stuff. And I just have been so overwhelmed with like, you know, trying to build it all myself. And so being able to use something like Shopify has just simplified everything. And I'm able to focus on writing jokes and, you know, actually focusing on my comedy. And I. Yeah, not too much merch stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what, dude? I love it. I love it a lot.

[Luke]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

With Shopify, nothing stands between your idea and a real business. So go make it one. Start your free trial at shopify.com tigerbelly Start your free trial at shopify dot com tiger belly

[Cat]

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[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So.

[Rick Glassman]

No, but I've never asked you what made you, like, want to get into comedy?

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean?

[Luke]

I mean, I was just, you know, wanted to do.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, he asked me. Lord.

[Luke]

Oh, he was looking.

[Rick Glassman]

No, I'm curious.

[Luke]

Right at me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it is okay.

[Rick Glassman]

Why? So you can have sex with as many women as you want.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa, dude. Yeah. You were getting girls anyway.

[Luke]

I was not. I was a big loser.

[Rick Glassman]

No, no,

[Luke]

bro.

[Bobby Lee]

What you. Did you ask that question to me? What made me get into comedy?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I was just trying to move that. Move it along.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, it was a weird segue.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, yeah, as long. As long as it drives on two wheels.

[Cat]

What? Did you do that El Pollo Loco commercial?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Cat]

How was it?

[Rick Glassman]

I'll send it to you. Can we'll swipe to a moment of it?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Cat]

Did you dance in it?

[Rick Glassman]

No, dude, I was twins. Just like Stacking Smoke or the Cannibal Guy or they say. I don't really think that. I don't really know. But the guy that played twins. The Winklevoss.

[Cat]

The Winklevoss.

[Bobby Lee]

You show mine again, please.

[Rick Glassman]

Were you Your El Polloca commercial?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, please. And then we're going to show yours because I don't think you did one.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

You took a job away from actual twins.

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, it sounds more like I got a job that the twins didn't take.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, wait, wait. You were twins in the Twins? Well, you were twins in the I'll pull you local commercial.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So you were doing Michael B. Jordan back then.

[Luke]

That's what he said.

[Rick Glassman]

Stack and Smoke, I've been hanging out with. Dude. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that was a joke.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, dude, I'm so I gave Michael Jordan.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm like, three minutes behind.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm gonna send you a picture. I gave Michael B. Jordan the idea of.

[Bobby Lee]

Did I come up yet? Look. Did I come up yet?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, there you are.

[Bobby Lee]

There I am. Let's see yours now.

[Rick Glassman]

It's not there. I'll send it to you. I don't pause.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at that. Some of my work.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. That's MADtv, Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

This is before MADtv.

[Rick Glassman]

You're on the. He's on the left.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, I know. This is like. This is. Here's the magic of this. I got in right when they were like, you know what? We should use minorities. Because my first manager said. I said to him, I don't want to say his name, but I said to him, I go, hey, do you think I can get a Commercial agent. And he was like, you're never gonna get one.

[Cat]

He said that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Because in the landscape at the time was like, you know, I mean, it was just white dudes. And I go, I think it's changing.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And so I switched managers and I have the manager I have now. And she was like, yeah, I think that's a good idea. And I. And I started booking these.

[Rick Glassman]

That sucks. That that was a thing and still is. And.

[Cat]

And look, two minorities right there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I know. We were like, couldn't believe it.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

What? What?

[Rick Glassman]

I think you guys are just as good as anyone else.

[Bobby Lee]

Shut up. Fuck you.

[Luke]

Better even.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we're better.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. At least as good. I was saying, like, I knew.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Thank you so much. Is there an Rick? No. Did you lie?

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. What are you doing, Luke?

[Cat]

Have you done a commercial?

[Luke]

No, I don't have a commercial agent or anything. I actually asked my managers.

[Bobby Lee]

I can get you one.

[Luke]

I said, do you think I should get a commercial agent? And they're like, yeah. Okay,

[Announcer]

so Wikipedia. His age is 30. Age 30. 1996.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. You are 30.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, man. Also, I found my El Pollo Loco commercial.

[Luke]

Okay, this is not a real photo.

[Cat]

Kent State.

[Luke]

This is a fake photo. This is a doctored photo.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You. You chat this. No, that's what you were working.

[Rick Glassman]

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Pay attention to this. Pay attention to this.

[Luke]

I'm glad that.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, he was bacon. Yeah. Hand sliced avocado and crispy bacon.

[Luke]

Wow. You look totally different.

[Cat]

Yeah, you kind of look different.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't even know you. Introducing El.

[Rick Glassman]

That's not my voice.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not my voice. That's not my voice. That's not my voice.

[Luke]

That voice. Why'd you do that accent at the end?

[Bobby Lee]

You're 42.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no.

[Luke]

Is that real?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

You look really good. Are you looking 42?

[Bobby Lee]

Why? Can you own up to where you are? Dude, I'm 55 and who cares?

[Announcer]

Damn.

[Bobby Lee]

Damn fool.

[Rick Glassman]

You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, well, Kevin Hart, Don Cheadle.

[Bobby Lee]

No, that's a Byron Allen.

[Rick Glassman]

Have you guys seen that clip?

[Bobby Lee]

I think. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead.

[Rick Glassman]

No, whatever, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you know who I was doing? You got to pity the fool.

[Luke]

Yeah. Mr. T. Okay, thank you.

[Announcer]

Thank you.

[Luke]

Was that Byron Allen?

[Bobby Lee]

That was Byron. It cross, right, Right, Yeah. What's going on, dude? What's going on with your mustache? It's different.

[Luke]

That's good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's like one of those Odyssey Oceans that goes on forever.

[Luke]

That's a stretch.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a stretch.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Cat]

The Aan.

[Bobby Lee]

The Aegean Sea. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see it?

[Rick Glassman]

I'm seeing it on Thursday.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you're gonna love it. You see it?

[Luke]

Imax.

[Cat]

It was good.

[Bobby Lee]

What, you. You didn't like it, though?

[Cat]

No, I loved it. I really liked it.

[Rick Glassman]

No spoilers.

[Cat]

The sirens.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you can say that.

[Cat]

I thought that I wanted to see more of the side.

[Rick Glassman]

Tell me when you're done.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. You can shut your ears off like that. You can't hear you. Is that closing your ears? You can't hear you. Okay.

[Luke]

Okay, we're done.

[Rick Glassman]

What? What did you say? Are we done?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we're done. Yeah. You heard her through just the actual. What do you call it? Life. Life. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Is it. You're high done yet or no? I feel like you're still high.

[Rick Glassman]

Let me be, man. Let's just talk, man. What's going on?

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Rick Glassman]

Like, help me shine here.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, just.

[Rick Glassman]

Let's talk, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Tell me about your Pepsi Cola.

[Rick Glassman]

Yikes.

[Bobby Lee]

So, yeah, let's talk.

[Rick Glassman]

How long have you guys been dating?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Luke]

Cat and I. Yeah, we're not. We're just friends.

[Rick Glassman]

That's not what I heard.

[Bobby Lee]

Roll the toe.

[Rick Glassman]

Do something funny with AI.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you hearing something?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah,

[Bobby Lee]

well, cats. Are you dating still, Cat?

[Cat]

I'm single.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah?

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you, like, you done with the dating?

[Cat]

Am I done with it?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, Are you done with the dating? Where you asked it.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I try it? Are you done with the dating?

[Cat]

No, I'm not done. I'm just, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

You're beginning.

[Cat]

Yeah, I'm beginning. Why not?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Cat]

It's the Odyssey.

[Bobby Lee]

It's the Odyssey.

[Luke]

You should date.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, I feel like I'm a little young.

[Luke]

Yeah, that is true.

[Bobby Lee]

That is true. You're only 30.

[Cat]

You're only 30.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Years old.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, when I first started coming around, tiger belly, there was glass up on the wall.

[Announcer]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, there was. Yeah. Yeah. And Covid.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. And what happened?

[Cat]

Oh, sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll go.

[Rick Glassman]

No, go ahead.

[Announcer]

Okay.

[Luke]

Sorry.

[Cat]

No, no.

[Rick Glassman]

After you, please.

[Cat]

I was just wondering if Hanta is still around.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Hans Kim is around.

[Cat]

Hanta. Is it Hans Kim? Do you remember that?

[Bobby Lee]

Hantavirus. Yeah.

[Cat]

Is it still happening?

[Bobby Lee]

It's not.

[Cat]

Oh, it's gone.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

Lobby. The spokesperson.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm the spokesperson. And bird flu. Yeah, they're my two. AD Age. I'm sponsored by them. By Bird Flu and Haunter.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. I can't even get bombers called. Take your shoes off.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Nobody heard me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I heard you.

[Rick Glassman]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

What was the first part?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't really remember.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. Oh, you heard me, but you forgot.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, it's so fast.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. And that's what they call Woody Harrelson doesn't actually hear Jimi Hendrix. And white man can't jump Rick.

[Cat]

Have you always been really smart?

[Rick Glassman]

You know, I got smart, like, 10 years ago.

[Cat]

How did it happen?

[Rick Glassman]

I became 20.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Tell me about history for so smart. What happened to the Civil War?

[Rick Glassman]

Which one?

[Cat]

Byron Allen.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, just kidding. Which one?

[Rick Glassman]

You know, when FDR created the New Deal, he wasn't just creating the U.N. he was also setting a set of sex imbalances and stuff about the economics.

[Luke]

Sex imbalances. Oh, you have meta glasses. That's what it is.

[Rick Glassman]

No, I have to go.

[Luke]

That's how you got so smart. You got those glasses and that just made you smart because you could read stuff on the glasses.

[Rick Glassman]

Sorry, I was too busy masturbating on your glasses.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know, man.

[Bobby Lee]

What? You masturbate must be very clinical.

[Cat]

I agree.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, dude, I masturbate you.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna put that toilet paper here. All right. I'm gonna have the lube, right?

[Rick Glassman]

No way, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll come in my little machine here.

[Rick Glassman]

I'll come anywhere.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, they're lying. Yeah. I mean, is there. Is there a ritual or. No.

[Cat]

A certain time, maybe?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. Go time.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's all go time. Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Andy Kozell once said that he.

[Bobby Lee]

I love Andy.

[Rick Glassman]

He said that. I feel like I'm always. Five minutes masturbating makes you five minutes late anywhere.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I always thought that was funny because it was like, oh, he's somebody that probably gets horny if he has to go do something. So he masturbates. And it's like, I could do it quick, but it's still.

[Bobby Lee]

I masturbate when I have anxiety.

[Cat]

I. A little bit of both for me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Here's what. When I do it, other people talk or. No camera.

[Rick Glassman]

Didn't even have to cut to me, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. So anyway, just play the game. Yeah, yeah. Talk about masturbating anxiety.

[Cat]

I just feel like it's. Sometimes that's what happens. You're a little bit stressed or like, you're. Like you said. Oh, is that what you do when you have plans?

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, I don't masturbate.

[Cat]

Oh.

[Rick Glassman]

I haven't masturbated in almost three hours.

[Bobby Lee]

You were just on a. Oh, Jesus.

[Rick Glassman]

Sneaking up on me like that, dude.

[Luke]

Sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that was a lot Sorry. Yeah, I apologize.

[Luke]

Sorry. I'm sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know, you know, he's busting balls. I'm like. I'm down to earth, just like you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What's his name? Lucas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Luke.

[Cat]

Is it short for Lucas?

[Bobby Lee]

No, my name is Lucas, not Luke

[Rick Glassman]

is in its own.

[Bobby Lee]

I live on the second floor.

[Rick Glassman]

Your birth.

[Luke]

That's like Rick.

[Rick Glassman]

No, but Rick isn't my actual name.

[Cat]

Is it, Richard?

[Luke]

Like that.

[Bobby Lee]

How come when they sang, no one even got into it? We should all sing that song together.

[Rick Glassman]

Did you guys all think that Luke was short for Lucas? Did you ever. Did any of you think that Luke was an actual.

[Bobby Lee]

1, 2, 3. I didn't. My name is everyone. 1, 2, 3. My name is Luca. I live on the second floor.

[Rick Glassman]

Like Bob is Robert.

[Luke]

Yeah, I guess. Depends who you ask.

[Rick Glassman]

Nobody's born Bob. People are born.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm Robert.

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Can we talk about anxiety or.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, yes, you were talking about jerking off.

[Luke]

Cat. That's your.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

Sponsors.

[Luke]

Everyone's assured in name here, except for me.

[Bobby Lee]

No, there's got to be a longer version that.

[Rick Glassman]

What is this? Is that short for Catatonic Sarah?

[Luke]

Come on.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's Catherine.

[Cat]

Catherine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

What's your. What's your actual name, Bobby?

[Luke]

Robert.

[Rick Glassman]

Robert.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Robert.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Luke]

That's what I just said. I said everyone's a short name here, except for me. I'm just Luke, period. Boom.

[Rick Glassman]

No, but. But before that. Great sounds. But before that, I was saying.

[Luke]

Bob.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Can we call you Lucien?

[Luke]

That'd be cool.

[Rick Glassman]

Lucian is one of the. Is one of the vamp. Is one of the werewolves in. In.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Underworld.

[Rick Glassman]

Right.

[Cat]

Sigmund Freud's brother's name was Lucian.

[Rick Glassman]

That's probably why.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you see all the Underworld? There was a lot of those movies. Yeah, yeah. I love them all.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. And I had a huge crush on Kate Beckinsale because, hey, I'm a guy.

[Cat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

But also the other actress who plays one of the Underworld things. Yeah, I don't remember her name.

[Cat]

Hugh Jackman.

[Rick Glassman]

No, no, no. In Underworld, she. It's Underworld. Will you look up the Underworld? What is it called? Just the last one. Yeah, but. But it's a. It's a different Underworld. What's the last Underworld called without Kate Beckinsale? Underworld. Like.

[Cat]

Oh, Rona Mitra is very pretty. Rona Mitra.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway, Underworld was a series of movies. It's too blue. Almost so blue. Is it not blue? Yeah, it's too blue. Almost. Yeah, yeah. The filter.

[Rick Glassman]

I used to not love the Batman cartoon when I was growing up because it was too dark. Like sometimes you couldn't see stuff. Kind of like in Game of Thrones, though. What was it called? What was the. No spoiler here, but the Battle of the Bastards. No, that very end. With the. With the.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that was too dark. Yeah, that was dark.

[Rick Glassman]

Too dark.

[Bobby Lee]

That was dark. You just saw the episode. Right.

[Rick Glassman]

And the blue makes me also feel. It's like. It's a little.

[Bobby Lee]

Like it's too blue. Yeah. I don't like it to anything. Too yellow, too.

[Rick Glassman]

I wonder if that's that Berenstein Bears thing, though. What's it called?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, A Mandela effect.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes. Where maybe I'm. Because I'm picturing the Blu Ray.

[Cat]

Oh, my God.

[Rick Glassman]

I know it's dark, but is it blue? Because it makes sense.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know if that's the case. If your name Bob and that's your full name and you really remember the color schematics of Underworld, will you please send me a message? I want to send you merch.

[Cat]

I just learned about the. Is it Mandela effect.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it.

[Rick Glassman]

You're talking about. Well, which one are you talking about?

[Cat]

The one where you think that something, but it's something else.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, yeah. You mean like, I'll give you a Mandela False imprisonment.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I give you a Mandela effect that you might not know?

[Cat]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. During the Batman series. The original Batman. Like with. What's the name? West. What's his name?

[Rick Glassman]

Adam West.

[Bobby Lee]

Adam West. Right. He didn't have an eyeball in the show.

[Cat]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

He just had one eye.

[Rick Glassman]

Adam west has one eye?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Why didn't he play Jack Sparrow?

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Luke]

Great point.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. That joke didn't work at all because I made up. I made up a Mandela effect. What? What's the joke? The joke is making up a Mandela effect.

[Rick Glassman]

No, the joke was Captain Jack Sparrow.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Yeah. Nope.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, Jesus Christ. If I were editing this, I'd be so embarrassed of myself.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you got this.

[Luke]

Right. Shook his head.

[Rick Glassman]

Will you do this one?

[Cat]

Have you watched all the Pirates of the Caribbeans?

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, yeah, I rewatched them not too long ago.

[Cat]

How many. How many are there now?

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, I don't remember.

[Announcer]

It was three or four.

[Bobby Lee]

Three or four?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, back Batman cartoons. There's a new one coming out that I'm very looking forward to. A cartoon? A Batman one. I bought it. I pre ordered it.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, so it's out already?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't. No, I don't think it's out yet?

[Rick Glassman]

It's in the can.

[Bobby Lee]

It's in the can? Yeah. I pre ordered. I love those animated Batman movies. Can you suggest one for me?

[Rick Glassman]

Well, I think maybe if you. It's not a movie, but. Have you ever seen the show Gargoyles?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Rick Glassman]

I think you'd like that.

[Luke]

Is this made up?

[Bobby Lee]

Really? Gargoyles?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't believe you.

[Rick Glassman]

I watched this as a kid.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you're. Wow. Why would I like the Gargoyles?

[Cat]

You know, they look like Space Jam characters, don't they?

[Bobby Lee]

A little bit, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

What's a human about in the middle?

[Rick Glassman]

That's not a human.

[Bobby Lee]

She's not a human.

[Rick Glassman]

She. It's. She represents Puerto Rican. She represents. She represents the world.

[Luke]

Aoc.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's aoc, dude.

[Rick Glassman]

That's kind of like how Meghan Markle is in suits.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Cat]

Oh, I love that.

[Rick Glassman]

Aoc was in Gargoyles.

[Bobby Lee]

The green one, Stephen Miller, she's fighting Mole.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you have a favorite Batman villain? There were. There are some. There are some that, like, I'm not really that into people. You know, if you look at the Batman villain list, people really love Iceman. Yeah, but how do you do the island? Mr. Freeze?

[Luke]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Mr. Freeze. My bad, my bad. People really love Mr. Freeze. Right. And it's like, how do you do that in the Matt reeves world, make Mr.

[Cat]

Freeze?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Cat]

I mean, he's such a character.

[Luke]

You can probably like dry eyes.

[Bobby Lee]

No, because, you know, in the Matt Reeves world, right, Everything is grounded, correct?

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, even. Even the Christopher Nolan Batman's. All the villains are grounded. Like, they could be real. How do you do Mr. Freeze in A. In. Maybe we'll discover it in the second movie. I don't know. There's some of them, like, how do you do Poison Ivy?

[Cat]

Poison Ivy, I think you could do. You can make her like a crystal lady, and she could be kind of

[Bobby Lee]

weird and just poisoning people with, like. I don't know.

[Luke]

I don't know.

[Cat]

You know, like, Cersei's in the Odyssey. Yeah, I feel like.

[Bobby Lee]

Make it like that. Yeah, yeah. There's also, like. What's the crocodile guy? Mr. Croc.

[Cat]

Penguin.

[Bobby Lee]

No, Croc. Go to Croc.

[Cat]

Who's Croc?

[Bobby Lee]

Killer Croc.

[Cat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Now these ones, right? They did Bane.

[Cat]

I thought Bane was good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but, like, how do you do, man Bat. How do you do Solomon? I know.

[Rick Glassman]

Pull my shorts down.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't. Yeah. I don't care. I'm gonna move on without you. If you're not gonna add Solomon Grundy, Right. Is dead, actually. How do you do that?

[Cat]

I think Clayface would be difficult.

[Bobby Lee]

They did it. They're doing it. They already did it.

[Cat]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Look at the trailer. Looks great.

[Cat]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Cat]

And it was okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. The Mad Hatter's a good one.

[Cat]

Calendar Man.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Cat]

Have you heard about him? He's, like, one of the more underrated.

[Bobby Lee]

Tell me about Calendar Man. What is it? What's his villain?

[Cat]

He just knows the dates.

[Bobby Lee]

That's good.

[Cat]

He remembers all the things.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. He tells Batman, I'll be here March 5th.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, if I had to play. If I had to play any Batman villain right now, with my energy. Yeah, I think I'd want to play Joe Chill.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no. Just Joe Chill. Oh, there's. Yeah. You are Joe Chill, dude. You're Joe Chill. Hey, I'm Tony Zuko. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna be.

[Cat]

Falcone. That's kind of a cool one.

[Bobby Lee]

No, Carmine Falcone's already in it.

[Announcer]

He's in it.

[Cat]

Oh, he's in it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. He's already in the world. He's.

[Luke]

He was played by all these crazy names.

[Bobby Lee]

What's his name?

[Luke]

King Tut.

[Bobby Lee]

From John Turturro. John Turturro. John Turturro plays Carmine Carfall. Falcon.

[Cat]

That's cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I don't know. Hey, Salma. Hey. I'm clocking. I know. Calendar Man. We do time.

[Cat]

I'll be there in December.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, false face. Yeah. That's Andre. Gin.

[Cat]

These are

[Rick Glassman]

views. Just tank.

[Cat]

How about Crazy Quilt? That's kind of fun.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's fun. Yeah.

[Cat]

Crazy Quilt.

[Bobby Lee]

What's going on? You can't add. I'm not.

[Luke]

No, I'm not. I'm not.

[Bobby Lee]

What is going. Tell me what's going on. It's weird.

[Rick Glassman]

Say what I said.

[Luke]

Okay. I don't know. I didn't hear it.

[Rick Glassman]

You said, hey, Bobby, is that a new camera? Take a look real quick. Oh, never mind. I thought I saw something.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Nothing, man. We were just talking about how we think the views are probably going up during that part.

[Luke]

Yeah, right, right.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm trying to steer the ship into different areas.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I know. And Mr. Freeze is on board because. Iceberg. Right. Why don't we turn on to something else than making silly jokes about Batman villains that we don't know?

[Luke]

Nice. Nice.

[Rick Glassman]

Yikes.

[Bobby Lee]

But this is something that you're into, no?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. You know, I'm into taking a. I don't want to do that for an Hour on this podcast into taking a.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

Better out than in. My grandfather used to say, it's better to belch and bear the shame than not to belch and bear the pain.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Can I ask you this?

[Cat]

I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

What about Bobby Lee? That's a good villain.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, yeah. Shout out to Scott Heern, illustrator.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. Drew these.

[Cat]

Oh, Bert Kreischer. That's fun.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a fun one.

[Cat]

That is interesting.

[Luke]

Did you see that The. The Laugh Factory has started doing cards. Yeah, I know. What do you think about that?

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, man, blah, blah, blah. Is the blah, blah, blah, flattery, you know? You know what I'm trying to say?

[Luke]

Yes, I do. Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay.

[Cat]

I think you're in those deck of cards.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, well, they gave me five grand. I'll tell you something. I'm like, it ain't worth it. But at the end of the day, I was like, I. I'm just. It's $5,000.

[Bobby Lee]

That's good money.

[Cat]

That's good money.

[Rick Glassman]

But, but, but, like, I didn't want to do that because, like, I'm making my own cards here. But, like, I'll give you $5,000. You've got to sign some stuff. I'm like, you know what? I'm not going to come on here and say, hey, man, I'm fully enlightened and I'm not going to do for cash. Straight up, dude, sell out. Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. But I'm not gonna. I'm not. I'm not going to be ashamed of it because it doesn't feel like it's not part of my identity if there's something that I don't want to do, but you'll pay me enough, and it's not that big of a deal.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, like, I've said no to shows and stuff. Not big things. But like, I said no. I don't think I'll shine in this. I don't. I'm not. I don't care about.

[Bobby Lee]

I say no all the time.

[Rick Glassman]

You know what I'm doing now with like, hey, do this. Give me the fucking bag, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Ah, bag.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. I'm saying, like, hey, I don't want to do this thing. It pays $1,000 and it's in California when I'm here. And it's a. Like, that's not enough money for what this is. It's a full day of a thing. I don't think this is that funny. Yeah, I used to be like, not a chance.

[Bobby Lee]

Now I'm like, give me 3,000 yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And give me 3,000. Give me 3,000 and then I'm going to use that money to help the poor. I mean, I have money for that. I already have enough for that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, how much?

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, I probably give to charity. Probably $20,000 a year.

[Cat]

$20,000 you get what charity?

[Bobby Lee]

That's crazy. Being 30 and being able to do that.

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, man, you know what? I'd love to give a shout out to Epath, that's people assisting the homeless. If you want to pull their website up.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no, we'll.

[Rick Glassman]

Wonderful charity. It's a wonderful organization where they help find families. They not only take them off the street and get them a home, they also help pay the rent for the first year. And you go in with a group of people, you can make like a trip out of it. You get to know the family you bring. Do you know somebody that has a Matt Jordan? Somebody like somebody you help stock the

[Bobby Lee]

fridge and you want to do one? Do, do, do, do, do, do. Do you want to do one together? I would.

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, the only reason I'd say no is because I want to do five together.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's. No, let's do. I will do one together. Right.

[Rick Glassman]

Let's do a eat. We'll get about people assisting homeless. It'll be sponsored, our treat to them.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, I want to go and do something like that.

[Cat]

Can we just. Can you. Do you need to bring money or can you just bring.

[Rick Glassman]

You could donate your time. You could donate as long as it's like new stuff, nice stuff. Okay, but like, you have to lift people. Like, if you, if you ever, like, hey, I have this, I have this couch and it's, you know, we got a new couch and it's like, it looks new and it's clean. Like, think like, what do I do with it? Oh, contact them.

[Bobby Lee]

Contact them.

[Rick Glassman]

Say, I have this furniture. I don't, you know, they can help arrange.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to do an 800 pound man kind of thing.

[Cat]

What's that mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Like, you know, he's in an apartment.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We gotta lift him because we have to put new furniture in.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know if you can really ask.

[Bobby Lee]

Look, we're like lifting him out, right? And then bringing them back in and we can have conversations like, do we

[Cat]

have to drag him through the door?

[Bobby Lee]

Do you like one piece or whatever. But yeah, yeah, that'd be cool.

[Cat]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to help. Help.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, why don't you start by zipping it up and I think, let's talk

[Bobby Lee]

for a little bit.

[Luke]

Fair.

[Bobby Lee]

Fair enough.

[Rick Glassman]

How long you been on tiger belly?

[Luke]

I don't know.

[Rick Glassman]

All right, Bobby,

[Bobby Lee]

do it.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm trying.

[Luke]

I don't.

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, I like.

[Luke]

I'm like a side guy. Like, people, you know, people bounce off. I can't. I'm not a spotlight guy.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't try to be a spotlight.

[Luke]

I can.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, wow. Okay. So could I. Could then. Could. Could the lights just be on in the room for a moment and you happen to be in them, but it's not just on you? And can I ask you a couple of questions? Because I came in here a little stoned, and I'm only very stoned.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I think very.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I think very.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

You're eating the.

[Bobby Lee]

You're not normal.

[Luke]

You came in here with munchies. You're asking for hot Cheetos and stuff, and.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, now I know why you're not a spotlight guy. Jesus Christ. Asking for Cheetos.

[Luke]

See? And now you're attacking me. You put me in the spotlight, and now you're attacking me.

[Rick Glassman]

Shut up. I'm asking you a question. And instead of even thinking about what I'm asking you. You're not even listening to me right now. You put the microphone back. Hold on.

[Bobby Lee]

You didn't thank us for lunch.

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, just relax.

[Bobby Lee]

You didn't thank us for lunch.

[Rick Glassman]

You know what you need? A little Joe.

[Bobby Lee]

Chill. Relax.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm asking you a question. And by far, even more annoying than me, the most annoying part of this episode was the last minute. And it's not because you're shining. It's because you're telling the light guy, get away, get away. He's just trying to do his job.

[Luke]

You're here.

[Rick Glassman]

You're. Look at. You're in the light. Now. I want to ask you something, okay. Are you nervous? Are you scared? What are you feeling? Because I didn't realize that this was real until I started this a couple of minutes ago, and I realized, oh, we're making jokes and stuff, and, like, there's something going on

[Luke]

before I. Okay, first.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Breathe.

[Luke]

Thank you for lunch.

[Bobby Lee]

You're welcome.

[Luke]

It was very good.

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, funny.

[Cat]

Thank you.

[Rick Glassman]

Sincere. Hey, you know what? Yeah. A little reflective.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

Second,

[Bobby Lee]

before you say it. No.

[Rick Glassman]

Your job isn't to hit the ball. Your job is to step up to the plate and be present.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, that helped.

[Luke]

Show.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but that's. That's a joke.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Luke]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, second one.

[Rick Glassman]

So what is it? Could you just tell me the truth without. Without projecting onto what other people will be Thinking. But how you're feeling sweaty right now.

[Bobby Lee]

You are?

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you under pressure because of his energy right now?

[Rick Glassman]

Bobby?

[Bobby Lee]

If, if.

[Rick Glassman]

And listen, I should take this note. If we could be quiet when somebody nervous starts to answer, maybe they'll start to continue to answer if we give them the space.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but he sat here through Dave Franco and Thomas Lennon and all these people. Right. And he was in the pocket. Right. You're making him nervous.

[Rick Glassman]

They're not. They're not.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to slide on him for a second.

[Rick Glassman]

They're not artists like me.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Okay. They're not artists.

[Rick Glassman]

They give $20,000 a year to charity. Oh. Charity is my ex wife's mother in

[Announcer]

law, by the way.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay, I understand that you're nervous, but you're not nervous because I don't want to take away from Bobby. You're nervous because I don't know what to say. I'm not saying that's what it is, but I'm saying there's another layer underneath

[Bobby Lee]

and that's what it is.

[Cat]

And are your parents divorced?

[Luke]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Luke]

Of course my parents are divorced.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Fight back. I like this.

[Luke]

Gosh.

[Bobby Lee]

Go in. Go into him.

[Luke]

I'm not gonna go into the gas.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go into the.

[Rick Glassman]

You don't.

[Bobby Lee]

You feel.

[Rick Glassman]

You don't even have to say no to him.

[Bobby Lee]

Look, look, look at me. Say yes. Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

No. You know what I'm saying? Just like, oh, Bobby's throwing stuff at the wall. I've seen something stick. I've seen something stick and it's messy. The whole house smells like piss, by the way.

[Bobby Lee]

I know it does.

[Rick Glassman]

What's that about?

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

The whole house smells like this.

[Bobby Lee]

It's cat piss. Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

It's crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

I have three cats. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

We have three cats.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

But how many.

[Bobby Lee]

Here we go. That's good. Learn.

[Luke]

Yeah. I'm trying to listen and learn.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I also want to acknowledge that I don't love going to cat is a negative because I think. Think I'd love to see a man give birth out of his dick.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's true.

[Rick Glassman]

Women are strong.

[Bobby Lee]

They are strong.

[Rick Glassman]

But men could also give birth out of their dick.

[Bobby Lee]

It would be much painful, I think. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, imagine the hole's so small.

[Rick Glassman]

That's what the movie Junior was.

[Bobby Lee]

Like a vein. Like a little vein. The hole.

[Cat]

Ouch.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Have you seen the movie Junior with Arnold Schwarzenegger where he gives birth to a baby through his penis, I think. Right.

[Cat]

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[Bobby Lee]

This podcast is sponsored by Talkspace. Last year, I went through many different life changes. I needed to take a pause and

[Announcer]

examine how I was feeling in the inside to better show up for the

[Bobby Lee]

ones who need me to be my

[Announcer]

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[Rick Glassman]

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[Announcer]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Bobby Lee]

[e-mail] it's an Arnie baby. No, it's thick. It's thick. Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know if I don't remember what the baby was. I remember they originally offered it to Will Smith and Arnold really wanted to do it and he said, please let me do it.

[Announcer]

I'll be black.

[Cat]

That was good. Thank you.

[Rick Glassman]

Anyway, I am sorry. For what? Oh, you're not even letting me. Oh, actually, now you know what? I'm not sorry anymore. That's actually tough. I was like empathizing for a little bit. Like, oh, I literally can't even say something I didn't even get to say.

[Luke]

I could empathize for a little bit. Thank you for your brief moment of empathy.

[Rick Glassman]

Just for a moment. Yeah, I am so. We're so on a different frequency and I didn't realize that until recently. And I'm like, listen, I'll take, I'll take the blame.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I defend him for a second?

[Rick Glassman]

But like, I can't even say something.

[Bobby Lee]

This is the second pod today. Right? So he. Is he.

[Rick Glassman]

So he's warmed up?

[Bobby Lee]

No, he had A big lunch. Right? He's a little groggy, right? Am I not right? Yeah. Yeah. And it's like you already played a game. Yeah. It's like telling somebody to play two games.

[Luke]

And one day, frankly, I was nervous that this exact thing would happen because you are very sharp. You're very on it. You're very quick. You're a professional podcaster. I'm not a professional anything. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. And I was like, oh, Rick's gonna come in here with big energy. I have to make sure that nothing goes awry and nothing gets flipped on me. And here we are, the freaking butt of the joke. I'm the biggest big, stupid, stinky, sweaty idiot, okay? And that's not what I'm trying to do. You're. You're doing a great job. You're a good guest, and I want to take away from your skills of doing it. And I'm done talking. Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Everyone's uncomfortable with silence.

[Rick Glassman]

I just want to take in and hear what he's saying.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's an actual movie.

[Cat]

And that's where the baby. The baby came out of his wiener.

[Rick Glassman]

You feel like you have to show up a certain way. And because of the way you feel, I am, you feel it's difficult to do that. In a way, I could look at that as I'm, like, taking away your energy. I'm like casting a shadow on you. But I don't feel responsible for that. I do understand, recognize I'm coming in with this energy. I would love to give you a little bit of advice. Not for you to do, but for you to consider. Because what do I know?

[Bobby Lee]

You're a homicidal maniac.

[Rick Glassman]

Have the conversation.

[Bobby Lee]

They're out of your fucking mind right now.

[Rick Glassman]

And let it be bad. Don't not have the conversation cause you're afraid it might be Luke. Take it or leave it.

[Bobby Lee]

Leave it. Leave it.

[Rick Glassman]

Because I really wanted to talk to you for a second.

[Luke]

Was it in earnest?

[Bobby Lee]

Leave me alone.

[Luke]

Yeah, see, it wasn't in earnest, though. It was a question. To set me up and debate me. Stop.

[Rick Glassman]

I just said it was. Do you know I'm joking?

[Luke]

Yes, I know you're joking.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, yeah, it's.

[Bobby Lee]

Come on, dude, you're killing me.

[Rick Glassman]

It'll be tough.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. This is a real movie. I've never heard of this movie.

[Announcer]

You have.

[Bobby Lee]

I really, literally have never heard of it. So he's pregnant?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. He said he'll be black.

[Cat]

Wait, what did you say?

[Luke]

The will Smith joke.

[Bobby Lee]

It was the Will Smith joke earlier. Yeah, yeah.

[Cat]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You have to follow.

[Rick Glassman]

Do you know that he almost really did this in real life, but they couldn't figure out the technology didn't exist at the time, but that he actually was down to give birth.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, like method.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Really do it.

[Luke]

Odyssey.

[Bobby Lee]

But they don't have the technology now.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, they do.

[Cat]

That's not his real belly.

[Rick Glassman]

It's probably his real belly. But they probably did, like. They probably painted it red.

[Luke]

How did he become impregnated?

[Bobby Lee]

Are they a couple, these two?

[Rick Glassman]

No, that's his twin. They're twin brothers.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, so this is an offshoot of twins.

[Rick Glassman]

Junior is twins, too. People don't know that, but they even have the same names in it.

[Bobby Lee]

It is.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So they're brothers, but.

[Rick Glassman]

But no, no, that's a doctor. It's a science experiment. He's a scientist.

[Bobby Lee]

But now. But they're still twins.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Cat]

Okay, scientist. And he did the science on himself.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes. I don't remember exactly. Came out before I was born.

[Bobby Lee]

Full of metal. Right now is it. So it's. Is it a Terminator thing too?

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe infuse all of it. You know what I mean?

[Rick Glassman]

Infused like water.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll be back.

[Cat]

It was Mr. Freezing.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll be. I'll be back. What movie is that from?

[Cat]

Terminator.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Very good job.

[Cat]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

You're on it.

[Cat]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

I saw an interview with James Cameron that Arnold wanted to make it. I will be back. I don't remember if it was maybe something because of his accent and he wanted something, and James Cameron's like, no, this is better. And it was actually like a little back and forth and Arnold's like. Like, it's like the. My biggest. Its, you know, catchphrase.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Arguably the biggest catchphrase ever. Yeah, yeah, that and dynamite.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a big one.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

When they used the nightmare of. Of Jimmy Walker. Ever since then, he was. He's the one that said it.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes. I made a different joke.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, what's going on with us right now, Dude? We're not in rhythm.

[Rick Glassman]

You know what? It's my fault.

[Luke]

No, it's Nobody. It's not.

[Rick Glassman]

Have you ever seen Goodwill hunting? Is that okay that I asked you that?

[Luke]

Yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah, I've seen it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

And I would appreciate someone saying that. It's not my fault.

[Rick Glassman]

It's not your fault.

[Luke]

Thank you.

[Rick Glassman]

There's something going on in your mind right now.

[Luke]

Okay, so then it is my fault.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, it's your fault for reacting. That Way, but not for having those feelings.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at the crinkles in his eyes when he. When he smiles. It's really.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know, because it seems like you're. I don't know if you know that I'm being playful.

[Luke]

I know.

[Rick Glassman]

I know that, but it doesn't. You don't like it?

[Luke]

No, I.

[Rick Glassman]

Because you're getting so upset that it's nuts to me because I'm like, are you joking? But you're not now.

[Luke]

I am joking.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he's. He's full of rage.

[Rick Glassman]

But that's real, man. There's something there. Well, then could I keep playing the way? Is there something you'd like?

[Bobby Lee]

All right, well, you want to see the dragon?

[Luke]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Keep going.

[Luke]

Good job.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? Show the dragon.

[Luke]

No, I'm not showing a jacket.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, show the dragon.

[Luke]

I'm gonna grab the snake and.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Yeah. That callback, that was a long time ago. That was from the other. That was from the other podcast dud.

[Luke]

The Universe.

[Bobby Lee]

It's in the universe you pulled way back, dude.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You went to the Iliad.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

To do the Odyssey. Yeah. What about.

[Luke]

What about Cat? How are you, Cat?

[Cat]

I'm good. I'm good.

[Bobby Lee]

Going to Rick blazing to Cat, because I don't like her attitude either.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm not here to blaze. I'm here to. I'm here to connect.

[Luke]

Yeah. You already blazed on the last spot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Good one, dude.

[Luke]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Are you seeing anybody, Rick?

[Rick Glassman]

I'm dating. I'm dating. Well, when I say I'm dating, I mean, like, I've gone on some dates and I'm open to going on some dates, but I'm not really actively dating, nor am I avoiding. I think I'd like to be dating.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

You know what I really like to be doing?

[Bobby Lee]

Tell me.

[Rick Glassman]

I'd like to be continuing this podcast and having a great time and connecting with you guys. And then I'd like to go pick up my doggie from camp, where I put him at camp for the first time.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's sweet. That's nerve wracking.

[Rick Glassman]

And go home to. To my partner. Guy or girl?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

[Rick Glassman]

Preferably a girl.

[Bobby Lee]

Preferably a boy.

[Rick Glassman]

No. Preferably a man, maybe. No, I'm more attracted to women than I am men. I've never sexually been with a man. I just feel like I couldn't marry one because, like, how many times do I have to tell you how to put a dish in the dishwasher? You put a bowl on the bottom rack. If there's not a separate sprinkler for the top rack. It's stopping the upper thing from doing it.

[Luke]

I just learned that.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, well, you know what? Your frontal lobe cortex is. Whatever.

[Bobby Lee]

Why are you peeing on the toilet seat? I think my boyfriend would do that.

[Cat]

He would do that? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Just pee all over the toilet seat

[Cat]

and nothing in the toilet.

[Bobby Lee]

And nothing in the toilet?

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, no. When I pee and I'm old fashioned, if there's a. If there's a lady over, I'll pee on the porcelain so she doesn't hear how big my dick is. I'm serious.

[Cat]

Does that make it interesting? Is that how you can find out how big it is based on.

[Rick Glassman]

You could if you know about dicks and piss.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

If you could hear someone that thick,

[Rick Glassman]

you could hear someone's piss. It's hitting the water that hard. It's not that the piss is thick. It's not that you're.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, you're wider. Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know, man.

[Bobby Lee]

I feel like you brought it up.

[Rick Glassman]

You got a churro dick, dude. It's probably thick as. And cinnamon is mine.

[Luke]

Very good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. There is a flavor, I'll tell you that.

[Rick Glassman]

Your dick's probably only this long.

[Bobby Lee]

It's more so. But it's this thick. But there is a flavor can get my hands.

[Cat]

Churros aren't that thick.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, no. Yeah, it was slam on me. It's not about the thickness of a churro. It's about the aspect.

[Bobby Lee]

Mine have ridges.

[Cat]

The texture.

[Rick Glassman]

It's the aspect. Oh, also, when I'm thinking churro, I'm thinking. I'm thinking jack in the box is churros not a long, thin.

[Luke]

Ah.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm thinking it goes because it has the thick hole. You said the piss is thick.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

That urethra with the cinnamon stuff comes out. That would be real. That's what I was thinking.

[Cat]

And sometimes you dunk them in icing.

[Bobby Lee]

I've never.

[Rick Glassman]

I used to get the strawberry milkshakes with Oreos and then I would. I would use the churros as a spoon for it.

[Cat]

It.

[Rick Glassman]

I used to eat that stuff five years ago when I was your age.

[Bobby Lee]

So sometimes churros aren't good.

[Cat]

I agree.

[Bobby Lee]

True. I'll tell you when they're not good.

[Luke]

Hot take.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Or they're underdone.

[Bobby Lee]

They're either underdone or they're stale. And when they're stale, they're not good.

[Rick Glassman]

Dry Hot take, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

Are you sure? Cut that out.

[Rick Glassman]

Churros, man. When they're stale. Okay. They're not good, dude. Yeah, that's like saying when you go to a blah, blah, blah, yada yada, da da da, Fill it in post.

[Cat]

No, I mean, I think that I

[Bobby Lee]

can't say anything today. Today I cannot say anything.

[Luke]

Yeah. Welcome to my world, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I cannot.

[Rick Glassman]

It's chaos to gang, like, use this to connect.

[Cat]

I think that

[Rick Glassman]

I've been feeling that way too.

[Luke]

No coaching. I can't actually. I need coaching, so. Actually, talk about gaslighting.

[Bobby Lee]

Can't. Cat and I have our own observations on churros.

[Cat]

Like that you said that. Because I think it's true.

[Bobby Lee]

I think it's true too.

[Rick Glassman]

Of course it's true. I don't like bagels when they've been after they're two weeks old.

[Luke]

What's. What is stale but good if it's

[Rick Glassman]

hard and it's not hot?

[Bobby Lee]

See, I like what we did. This so this could happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. I purposely did.

[Rick Glassman]

Totally.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you see that?

[Rick Glassman]

I did. I do now.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my psychology.

[Rick Glassman]

Kaiser.

[Bobby Lee]

So let's do the churro thing so they can go against us, right? Because we don't really. We don't even really believe it. Him go. Let him go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Cat]

But now.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, to rip into me. Rip into me about bagels with a. About stale.

[Cat]

Yeah, we'll come.

[Bobby Lee]

Go ahead, tell us.

[Luke]

Is there anything stale that's actually good? I mean, I don't think anything stale,

[Bobby Lee]

but thought of it this way.

[Luke]

Stale as a word means bad. I think. I don't think stale. Oh, my, my. You know, this guy's stale.

[Rick Glassman]

Or if you're, like, if you're from the street and your past tense of, of taking something that doesn't belong to you.

[Luke]

Stale.

[Bobby Lee]

I style. I staled.

[Rick Glassman]

No, both times.

[Announcer]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay.

[Cat]

I think, I think certain things can be stale and nice.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, can we talk about avocado?

[Rick Glassman]

Her name's Kamala. Not Kamala, by the way.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, come.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, no, I, I, I also hated that. I hated when people would say her name wrong. Man. Dude, women ran the country. The only war we'd be in was how sexy I look in this dress.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Rick Glassman]

Because women know how to style. They know how to be styled. They know how to receive information without their egos. Oh, what's the matter? My dick's too small?

[Cat]

No, churro.

[Rick Glassman]

You're just. We're just trying to listen. They have a different culture than us. Yeah, they're different. They're not supposed to be us. Why don't we just live, man?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, women, you think traditionally biologically born women, they give birth to life. All we do is eat nachos and jerk off.

[Cat]

But Arnold does did it. He. He burst.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll clap. I'll clap. I guess. Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Mark Wahlberg, invincible, underrated, indispensable, matter of fact, a figure of opinion. White or black, we know the jurisdiction of our mind's eye reflected in the mirror. Backwards, twice. Put a finger to the glass, check the back door for mice. Situation speaks in your own hearts. Agree, tiger belly. Coca Cola Chings. I'm Blings. I'm sorry, she distracted me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that up. Why did you do that? It was on a flow. They call it a flow. Yeah, yeah. And you disrupted the flow.

[Cat]

I'm sorry, I got the flow.

[Rick Glassman]

Speaking of which, that's why I pee on the porcelain. Because sometimes there is a disruption of flow if you're pissing hard.

[Bobby Lee]

Interesting.

[Rick Glassman]

Did you know that when you have a boner, girls also.

[Announcer]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

I say girls for females. I say guys and girls. You mean women. Yes, women too. Guys and girls. We need to fucking. You can't say anything anymore. You can't say anything.

[Bobby Lee]

I understand you.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm doing a comedy show. There's white people, there's Puerto Rican people, there's Chinese people, there's Korean people, but that's it.

[Bobby Lee]

That's true. That's true.

[Luke]

Like, that's all yours.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh my God, I forgot you were here again.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm so sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

What were you saying?

[Luke]

Hey, when you say that's it, like that's your limit, like that's all you'll allow.

[Rick Glassman]

I'll allow anything. That's who's attracted to my comedy.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we talk about this just real quick?

[Cat]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

The last time you were here, right. We had called Rose because. About being a paid regular.

[Announcer]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you remember the last time you were here? We called her and I got. Remember Kat was here.

[Rick Glassman]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

You're not. And we go, what do you think of Cat Become a page? She's like, she's on it or way. I think that's what Rose said.

[Rick Glassman]

I've been saying it the same.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And then she said. I said Rick last. But she goes, ah, right. Or whatever. I don't know what she said.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't really remember.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I don't remember what I did. It was devastating though. That's what I do remember.

[Rick Glassman]

No, she, she, she, she. She's like, I wanna. I have to see you. I'm like you've seen me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it was.

[Rick Glassman]

I'll tell you something.

[Bobby Lee]

But she was more sure of Cat. And it's interesting because you got it.

[Rick Glassman]

No, no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

You got him first, before Cat.

[Rick Glassman]

But I did something since then that I think kind of changed.

[Bobby Lee]

You turned into a phoenix.

[Luke]

What did you do? What is it that you did?

[Rick Glassman]

I started being honest. You know, I. I started not feeling like I needed to tell everybody my truth. But if it wasn't rooted in it, it's not sustainable. You know, you could put. You could take a green onion, chop it up, have just a little things, put it in water, and it'll grow again. But at a certain point, a plant needs soil.

[Bobby Lee]

That's true.

[Rick Glassman]

And to me, my roots in a glass cup. I don't know, man. That doesn't feel like a foundation that I want to start my 30s in.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, right.

[Cat]

It's a glass cup of metaphor.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, they call me the Glassman for two reasons. One, you know.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And two, it's not about the cup being half full.

[Bobby Lee]

Breakable. That's not why. What, you're breakable? Is that why?

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, man, I'm human.

[Bobby Lee]

Or we could see through you. What is it?

[Rick Glassman]

I don't get ashamed of my flaws, because without them. Keep talking about your I'd be me five years.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at that.

[Luke]

You'd be you in five years. What does that mean?

[Rick Glassman]

Flawless.

[Bobby Lee]

I love.

[Rick Glassman]

No, but not really. You always change the. Like Matthew McConaughey. And then five more years. I want to be 100 years old and still learning.

[Bobby Lee]

You in the main room.

[Cat]

That's a great.

[Bobby Lee]

That's so great.

[Rick Glassman]

Look at it there.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm so proud of you, dude.

[Cat]

Smiling.

[Bobby Lee]

I really am. Can we talk real now? Because I don't want to do these, you know, these tangents that you've been going on.

[Rick Glassman]

We're going to be real.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I feel like we're not talking about anything real, you know? I mean, we're talking about all of its lies. Okay, okay, so let's talk about something real at this point. Okay? What I'm saying is that the last time you were here, you know, I mean, you didn't seem like you were going to get in, and then you got in, and I was so happy.

[Rick Glassman]

Thank you for being a champion.

[Bobby Lee]

I've always been a champion of you.

[Rick Glassman]

I think you've been the champion of me there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I. I really have. And I, you know, because I think that you are dynamic and. Yeah. What?

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I told you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I think that you are One of a kind. Yeah.

[Luke]

Are you trying to flex on me? Sorry. Keep going.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what? I get it now, Rick.

[Rick Glassman]

I get it, what I'm saying.

[Bobby Lee]

Or he's saying. I'm getting what you were saying to him earlier. Yeah.

[Luke]

He's giving me. He's giving me stink eyes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm playing a character. I'm playing a character in this moment.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a character in this moment as well.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm being serious, but, like, the me. I told you, it's me being. I'm playing a character as if, like, I've been trying to tell you how funny I am because I wanted you to see me that way. And here's somebody saying I'm like, see, See, this is. I'm just playing a little bit of

[Luke]

a character, and I'm playing.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you're a.

[Rick Glassman]

No, you're not. You're playing against it.

[Luke]

Yeah. That's what's funny. Conflict.

[Bobby Lee]

Conflict is what's.

[Rick Glassman]

Conflict is the number one thing to avoid by default. And any improv scene, Dude. Ask anyone.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. It's not agreeing just because.

[Luke]

Just because you don't have to agree. Yes. And doesn't always mean I'm agreeing with you.

[Rick Glassman]

No, but it wouldn't be bad if it happened sometime.

[Luke]

I'm in your world, and I'm. I'm playing into your.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what, Luke?

[Cat]

Maybe you guys can continue that moment. That was really nice.

[Bobby Lee]

What? Not what moment.

[Cat]

You were saying that you were dynamic,

[Announcer]

and he's this year as champion.

[Cat]

Well, deserving.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It was, to me, a real victory.

[Rick Glassman]

I never said this to you before,

[Luke]

and I wish that you had said it.

[Rick Glassman]

Bobby,

[Bobby Lee]

that was a good one. That was a good one. Yeah. That was a good one.

[Rick Glassman]

My joke.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. Yeah. Yeah, man. Your joke, man.

[Rick Glassman]

Sorry, bud. They may be leftovers, but I know how to turn him into something. Have you seen that Asian dad who makes he. His son brings. No, stop. You know what I'm talking about already. His son brings food and he turns it into gourmet. He's a gourmet chef.

[Bobby Lee]

We're trying to be real Iron Chef, dad. Yeah, Iron Chef, Dad. I don't even want to know about it.

[Rick Glassman]

All right? So.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I didn't even listen to anything you just said. Oh, yeah? I don't even want to know about it. Then what, then?

[Rick Glassman]

Know about what?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's a movie. Know about what?

[Rick Glassman]

You're thinking, what about Bob?

[Bobby Lee]

No. You and I could be. To know about what?

[Rick Glassman]

All right, well, thank you very much. So good to be Here.

[Cat]

So has your life changed since you've been passed?

[Rick Glassman]

You know, I don't, I don't know. I don't. I don't think that that being passed has, has, has had that much of an effect on my day. I've done three more shows.

[Cat]

Okay.

[Rick Glassman]

You know, hold on. Go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

No, let me ma', am.

[Luke]

Say what you're gonna say.

[Bobby Lee]

It's. It's a little different than other places.

[Rick Glassman]

It's a lot different. I'm. I'm so happy. I don't mean I'm not. I'm not so happy.

[Bobby Lee]

Very difficult milestone. I've talked about it before on the spot. It's very difficult.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm very excited.

[Bobby Lee]

And you got in. Look at that.

[Luke]

It's been a big thing for you. You had all the merch that was like not pass at the Comedy Store.

[Rick Glassman]

Listen, man, Daddy's got to make a buck.

[Bobby Lee]

But you, you are you daddy now. A 30 year old dad.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh my. I'm helping pay my parents.

[Luke]

It seems like a goal you've had for a long time though. How long do you think at what. How long is this.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at that. Look at Jay Leno, Mark Marin, Whitney Cummings, Rick Ingram, Rick Glass.

[Rick Glassman]

Do you know Chris C.P.

[Luke]

powell?

[Bobby Lee]

He is a killer.

[Rick Glassman]

I would love to, to. To say something about him. I didn't know him. I, I met him when he went on before me at the show.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And I'm in the. Because I watched Mark Marin and then him. Which by the way also Mark. They were so. He's. He's so funny. He was. Everyone like, like they were both so funny. I'm like, I'm in the back laughing out loud.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I really want. We became friends online. I want him to come my podcast.

[Announcer]

He.

[Rick Glassman]

I don't know if. If people know him and I just didn't for whatever reason, but I want to.

[Bobby Lee]

He's powerful.

[Rick Glassman]

Chris C.P. powell Funny.

[Bobby Lee]

In fact, I called Rose. I go, I don't want to follow him.

[Cat]

Nobody does.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I love following him.

[Cat]

He's a killer.

[Luke]

Have you seen the show Detroiters? Of course he's in it. He's the security guard in Detroiters. He is there. He is so great in that show.

[Rick Glassman]

Is that him? That's so funny.

[Luke]

Yeah, he's great.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't know that.

[Rick Glassman]

That you're doing silly.

[Announcer]

Right?

[Rick Glassman]

Because I really didn't realize.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I was being silly.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. You see the Twitters.

[Rick Glassman]

It's Sam Richardson.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. I didn't know I was.

[Rick Glassman]

And the biggest comedian in the world.

[Cat]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Now, I thought you were doing a thing, and then I read it wrong.

[Cat]

I think you were right.

[Bobby Lee]

I think I was right about the joke.

[Cat]

Was right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I think it was better.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Okay. Well, it's Tim Robinson and. And Sam Richardson, and they run a marketing firm in Detroit, and it's a very funny show.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Anyway, Chris C.P. powell is a powerful comedian.

[Cat]

How did the spot go? Your first spot in the main room as a paid regular.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at that.

[Rick Glassman]

I think good. Oh, that. If that was the night, then, yeah, that was a really good show. I remember that one, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, do you think about where you're at in that situation or. No? Yeah, I mean, you're sitting next to Jade Leno and Marc Maron and you're, like, there in the green room. Anyway. What a great photo.

[Luke]

How long have you wanted to be a paid regular at the Comedy?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God, dude, He's been hanging out there since he was, like, 30.

[Luke]

Yeah, no,

[Bobby Lee]

like, for a long time when he was like.

[Luke]

Big moment.

[Bobby Lee]

I was there, like, 15 years ago when he was 30. I was like, oh, my God, this guy is, like, really? He was doing the open mics and stuff. It was cool.

[Rick Glassman]

I. I used to answer the phones there. Yeah, I would always answer the same way. It was so. Thank you for calling the Comedy Store. My name is Rick. How may I help you?

[Luke]

Were you a door guy? Only phones.

[Rick Glassman]

Only phones. They, at the time.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't be scared.

[Rick Glassman]

Thought I wasn't funny enough to do the Doors.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Cat]

Have you. Have you always been a little bit kooky with your comedy?

[Rick Glassman]

That's a racial slur.

[Cat]

Oh, no, no. Kooky, kooky.

[Luke]

Got it.

[Bobby Lee]

I heard a G. Yeah, no, no,

[Rick Glassman]

no, I heard a G. Oh, like. Like a baby wants a sweet treat with chocolate chips.

[Cat]

Exactly. Kooky.

[Rick Glassman]

Who was that? Is it Rugrats?

[Announcer]

Yes.

[Cat]

Angela, Angelica and Tommy.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you still high?

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, man. Not bi.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I know you're not,

[Rick Glassman]

but I don't know, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah,

[Rick Glassman]

I don't. I really don't know if it's because I would be like. Like, I'm not. I feel like. Like that. But the. The systemic shame, because, like, who cares? It's a dick.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I have no idea what you're saying, but.

[Cat]

Oh, with a. Being bisexual.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, not.

[Rick Glassman]

Not necessarily. Not necessarily. Maybe, just maybe gay.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, to me, it's like when I did Shannon Sharp's podcast, Humble Brag.

[Rick Glassman]

We know you did Shannon Sharp's podcast. And I brought up talking about it,

[Bobby Lee]

and I said it talked About I suck penis is in high school. And he goes, you gay? You know what I mean? And he. There was no openness to that.

[Rick Glassman]

It sounded like a. Like a vampire. Shannon Sharp vampire.

[Bobby Lee]

Because, I don't know, I want. I don't want to make fun of them.

[Cat]

There's a fine line.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, maybe because. Maybe because of as we referenced earlier with Twins and my influence on Stack and Smoke. Maybe it's because of that.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe. But it's like, I don't want to go, yo, man, you gay.

[Rick Glassman]

You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

And just really go hard on it, you know?

[Luke]

You're right.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. So I go more vampire. I go more vampire on it.

[Cat]

Right?

[Luke]

You did it.

[Cat]

Do that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I didn't do that. Right.

[Rick Glassman]

It's Eddie Murphy and vampire in Brooklyn.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so, you know, there. There was no openness there about. About it. And just because I sucked a couple penises in high school.

[Rick Glassman]

It, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it. Yeah.

[Luke]

When. When you were working the phones at the Comedy Store, did it feel so far away? The. The thought of being passed. Like, where did you think you would be?

[Rick Glassman]

No, I always thought I'll be passed in. In a year or two. When you were 30, whenever I first started coming around.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you were young when you came around.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah, I was really.

[Luke]

I had it.

[Rick Glassman]

I had to get permission to go.

[Bobby Lee]

No, that's not true. No, you were in your 20s. Okay. Yeah. You're definitely in your 20s. Yeah. There was no situation like that.

[Rick Glassman]

Whatever you say, Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Or should I say,

[Bobby Lee]

go ahead.

[Cat]

Do you. Do you ever remember, like, seeing a comic that really inspired you, that you're like, oh, I want to be like that guy or girl?

[Luke]

Girl.

[Cat]

Woman.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Besides me a woman.

[Rick Glassman]

It's mostly women that inspired me first. Obviously the strongest one I've ever met.

[Cat]

My mother, does she do stand up?

[Rick Glassman]

She's. She's. I. I don't know if I've ever. I think my whole life, who's given me the most laughs? It would be my mom.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

So it's. It's. But my mom isn't. My mom's a little kooky like me.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And she makes people laugh, like

[Cat]

just

[Rick Glassman]

being sweet and, like, talking and, like having conversations with people and just saying stuff that's like, oh, you know, and it's like, yeah, she's honest.

[Bobby Lee]

That's fun. I can see the humor.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Luke]

And then.

[Rick Glassman]

And then probably Will Smith second. Okay, yeah, I've said it on this podcast before, but Will Smith was the first time I saw that you could be goofy and cool. Like, being goofy doesn't mean you have to be a fool. And it's funny to play it anyway. And he could do it all, man.

[Bobby Lee]

He could do it all. Sing, dance, all of it.

[Rick Glassman]

And he didn't inspire me, necessarily. But around the same time, of me recognizing. Oh, I'm liking what people are able to do with their skill.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Big, big shout out to Shia LaBeouf. Since even Stevens. Oh, I loved him from then and everything he's done.

[Bobby Lee]

I love Shia.

[Rick Glassman]

I think he's on the ball. That's right. That's awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

He did Bad Friends.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. I never watched the episode. I should check it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It was him and Man Santino and also David Mammon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which was crazy to have him on.

[Rick Glassman]

Was David M. A playwright?

[Cat]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

He's a playwright. He did Glenn Larry. Glenn Ross.

[Luke]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you know the movie? Have you seen the movie? It's one of the best.

[Rick Glassman]

I prefer the play.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. It's one of the best movies, though. Have you seen it, Glenn? Gary. It's so good.

[Luke]

Coffees for closers.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Rick Glassman]

Act like you've been here. I handed him a note that says, coffees for closing.

[Luke]

Alec Baldwin.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Really good movie. Yeah.

[Luke]

It's raining.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. He's never seen the Godfather. Isn't incredible.

[Cat]

You've never seen the Godfather?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Cat]

Dang.

[Rick Glassman]

That reminds me of my first joke, my first time on stage. I didn't. Literally, my first set in Cleveland. One of my jokes was. Here's my impression of. Of when. When people say. When I tell them I've never had an Oreo before, and I would just, like. I would get into character, and I turn back and be like, you've never had an Oreo before Was exactly the way you just did the Godfather thing.

[Cat]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Did that work?

[Cat]

You just.

[Rick Glassman]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Didn't seem to work here.

[Rick Glassman]

No, I wasn't saying. I wasn't saying, like, let me make you laugh.

[Bobby Lee]

It doesn't really seem to work.

[Rick Glassman]

No, but. But it's still. It's still funny. Like, I do think that joke.

[Cat]

Joke.

[Rick Glassman]

Looking back at that joke, which was the first time I did stand up.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

I. The.

[Bobby Lee]

The.

[Rick Glassman]

The logic of it, of doing something sincerely. And that's funny. I do see how I was inspired for that kind of stuff, like, to play things very sincerely, thinking that's funny. Like, not for better or worse. But I'm just saying, thinking back to my old jokes that weren't funny. I'm like, oh, I. I do recognize what attracted to me to trying that type of thing. Does that make sense?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

So I feel like if you watch people's first jokes instead of just looking like, like, how funny are they? But, like, how does their mind work? What. What are they attracted to?

[Cat]

It's consistent.

[Rick Glassman]

I also think it's a good way of getting to know somebody. Like, we don't change that much. We get new tools. But.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

So anyway, I think when I see

[Bobby Lee]

myself earlier, earlier on. Right. There's some. You bored?

[Luke]

What?

[Rick Glassman]

Just say yes or no.

[Luke]

No.

[Rick Glassman]

Don't be so shocked by being. You're here, man.

[Luke]

No, I'm not bored.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's okay. There's to say that you drifted.

[Luke]

I'm not bored.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you started looking off in the dist. Thinking. Okay, what were you thinking about? That's crazy.

[Luke]

I was thinking about.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm the fucking.

[Rick Glassman]

No, but I'm the captain of the ship talking.

[Bobby Lee]

Bobby. Yeah, get off the fucking ship then, Bobby.

[Rick Glassman]

Go ahead.

[Luke]

I was thinking about Rick and I's exchange, and I was thinking about how that's going to play. And, you know, I was thinking, could I have handled that better? And should I. Should I.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, you could.

[Luke]

Should I have said so that.

[Rick Glassman]

That's. That's human and I love that.

[Announcer]

That's great.

[Rick Glassman]

When Bobby says, hey, are. Are you bored? You could. Instead of saying what? You could take a second to think about the question. And I was kind of drifting off. This is what I was thinking about. And now here we are. We're present again.

[Luke]

Okay, I'm learning. I'm not. You know, I haven't been.

[Rick Glassman]

Shut up. Joking. I'm joking.

[Bobby Lee]

Joking, joking.

[Luke]

Sorry. I'm not 56 years old like everyone else in this room. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm so learning.

[Rick Glassman]

Whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

What the heck?

[Announcer]

Are you old?

[Bobby Lee]

Just looks 56.

[Luke]

I wasn't thinking about Cat. I was trying to. I was trying to make an attack about how he says he's 30 and I wanted to.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, I thought you were rating your past 50 jokes on a scale from 1 to 10.

[Luke]

56. I wasn't trying to come after Cat. I was trying to come after.

[Rick Glassman]

They're all sixes.

[Bobby Lee]

Attack on you, I believe. Yeah, but I'll get you later.

[Rick Glassman]

Sometimes I do stuff on like. And I. It's fine. You'll leave it in. But like, I feel myself watching it and editing. I'm just like, annoying. Annoying, annoying, annoying. But, like, this is what this medium is, and we just. You just put stuff out.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly. It'll cut together very well.

[Rick Glassman]

I'm not worried about it, but I'm aware of that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

And I'm like. I'm like, man, I've done. I've done 500 podcasts, and I'm still. All the time. I'm like, well, no, you cannot be honest with.

[Bobby Lee]

You're one of the toughest guests.

[Rick Glassman]

Thank you, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's. It's tough. I'll tell you why. I have to constantly be thinking.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know. Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

If it stops there and then you

[Bobby Lee]

go to the floor this way, and it's like, I have to. To follow. And then sometimes I have no idea what's going on, you know, and it's a very difficult thing.

[Rick Glassman]

Amen.

[Bobby Lee]

And I'm learning from it. Like, my mind is expanding because of it.

[Cat]

Well, I think you're very honest. Yeah, I do think you're very honest. You have moments of vulnerability that are really lovely. Yeah. Do you remember your first joke?

[Bobby Lee]

Can I go into what I was saying earlier? Because it was crazy. I. Like, we can't talk about what I was going to say earlier. Why'd you segue into that? I was like, when I look at myself in old tapes and stuff, I wasn't done with my point. Okay. When I look at myself, you're.

[Rick Glassman]

You're a microphone showing. I don't know if you care about it. I don't get comments.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Cat]

Sorry, Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not. That's not even the true thing, what he was saying. Yeah. Yeah. Is it you? Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Don't draw attention to it. It's. There's creeps.

[Bobby Lee]

Go ahead.

[Cat]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway, I'll cover up next time. What? Forget what I was saying. Forget what I was about to say, because it's like, it's not going to. No one's going to. It's too late.

[Rick Glassman]

My loss.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's everyone's loss.

[Rick Glassman]

Yeah. Our loss.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Anyway, when I see. Look. Look at myself at old tapes. Right. And, you know, when I first, like, there was this one where I did in La Jolla when I lived there, and Scott Shore, Pauly Shore's older brother, was doing a documentary, and he would, you know, he just did film on five young comics. I was luckily enough, Okay. I was lucky enough to be chosen, and I had only been doing comedy for, like, a year, and I. And I. So I did. It was on film. That's cool, right? And it was like. And I was so bad. When you first see it, I'm bad. But then when you see it, like three or four times, you go, you know what? It's the big. Like. I could see the Seeds of Bobby Lee in there.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Did a lot of people watch it three or four times?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Cat]

Yeah, I. I think you've. You've shown me older tapes of you and it's still consistent with who you are now.

[Luke]

Your hair was so different. Why did you stop doing that where you spiked your hair up crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Because it was a hook. I thought you needed a hook back then.

[Luke]

Hair.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a hook.

[Rick Glassman]

Well, it was, it was a big movie with Dustin Hoffman and Robin Williams.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I wanted to be Ruio.

[Luke]

Is that what you thought?

[Bobby Lee]

No, that's not what I was thinking. No, I. Back then, it's like Chris Tucker was a thing, okay? He was blow dude.

[Rick Glassman]

He is, he is so funny.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Naturally funny.

[Rick Glassman]

Everything he does, his energy, everything.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, so I was trying to like do a high pitch voice like him and it was not working.

[Luke]

And then when like.

[Bobby Lee]

And then I just kind of became more myself in a lower tone and then just kind of pace myself a little slower and. And then try to, you know, be more real at times.

[Cat]

And did you ever stand still and just do your act?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I was never like that was always running.

[Cat]

Always running around.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

They always say it ain't funny if it doesn't look like your feet are

[Cat]

on fire, but you do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Who said that?

[Rick Glassman]

Don Rickles.

[Cat]

Oh, do. Do you do that as well? Run around the stage a little bit?

[Rick Glassman]

I mean, if there's a stage, I'll use it.

[Cat]

Yeah, nice.

[Rick Glassman]

But run around. Yeah, maybe.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, maybe. Really good jog.

[Rick Glassman]

Good stuff being on that stage. Real stage, you know, a big stage. A stage that you could use, just you and that microphone.

[Bobby Lee]

And he's singing at the Belly Room.

[Rick Glassman]

You're up there all alone, man. It's not like anything else. Do a spotlight thing. Like the lights are off, spotlight on me, maybe snaps. I was doing my thing playing my

[Announcer]

game

[Rick Glassman]

Until I find the situation Speaking of the things embarrassing and all I ever feel is a drive home in shame I think that I can do this but then I get scared from the bruises I trip, I fall, I bang my nooses because she distracted me again.

[Bobby Lee]

No, why?

[Cat]

Why?

[Rick Glassman]

She laughed.

[Bobby Lee]

That was really good. Did you laugh at that?

[Cat]

Sorry. The news is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that was news. This is good. Anyway, Rick, you want to promote anything or.

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, man, if you like me, you can find me. And if you don't, what's the point of selling?

[Bobby Lee]

Rick, Ricky's on the Lose tour.

[Luke]

That's Good.

[Bobby Lee]

You're going to be in Scotland?

[Rick Glassman]

I'm doing the Edinburgh Film Festival. Then I'm headed on over to Amsterdam, then Ireland. Ireland just sold out. Maybe I'm adding another show. I don't know. Yeah, doing five shows in England. London town.

[Luke]

Wow. Soho Theater. That's cool.

[Bobby Lee]

That's amazing, dude. Congratulations.

[Cat]

In Portland.

[Rick Glassman]

Am I doing what?

[Cat]

Helium in Portland.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, a great club.

[Rick Glassman]

Look at that. Port Philadelphia. Oh, thanks for showing. Houston, Portland, Eugene, Oregon, Tacoma, Washington, Salt Lake City. Rick Glassman dot com. And if you want, I'm adding states. You can sign up from email [e-mail]

[Bobby Lee]

and check them out.

[Rick Glassman]

Email you if I'm coming within 50 miles of your city. I'm not going to be sending you tons of emails of my balls in my butt, but once a year send you pictures of my butt.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, get on that ma. Give Rick glass of a round of applause.

[Announcer]

I just want to say, Rick, I think might be tied for the most appearances on the podcast.

[Rick Glassman]

Oh, tied with who, Kila?

[Announcer]

Theo Von Theo.

[Cat]

That's awesome.

[Rick Glassman]

We should have the audience vote who they want to have on more. Me or not me. You guys. All jokes aside, are the cameras still rolling? I just want to say the fact that I have been here maybe just as the most, tied with the most than anybody else just shows that despite the kind of, like, back and forth jousting that you and I do, we are friends. And you really have been a champion of mine at the Comedy Store. You're the only person that I know and you went and talked to different people when they were booking and you were the first guest that came on my podcast or one of the first that really, like, started to bring attention to it. You helped me out on my podcast. And I normally don't do this, but if you want, I'll take. I'll take his spot. I'll start coming here.

[Bobby Lee]

That's.

[Rick Glassman]

No, but all jokes aside, thank you for having me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Epath.org and one love.

[Bobby Lee]

Look how fat I was there.

[Rick Glassman]

I think you were fat. You were just close to the camera.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I was pretty fat then.

[Rick Glassman]

And music.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rick Glassman]

Hey, I'm Andrew Santino.

[Bobby Lee]

And I'm Bobby Lee.

[Rick Glassman]

And we made something completely insane.

[Bobby Lee]

We took celebrities, we put them in

[Rick Glassman]

my mom's basement, we throw trivia at them. We hit them with absurd challenges. And then just when they think they know what's happening, we blow the whole thing apart.

[Bobby Lee]

Nobody knows the rules. We barely know the rules. It's chaos.

[Rick Glassman]

It's comedy. It's the Bad Game Show. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

[Bobby Lee]

Watch on the Bad Friends YouTube channel

[Rick Glassman]

or on the Bad Game show feed on Spotify Video.

[Bobby Lee]

Follow, subscribe, Watch, Share, Play along.

[Rick Glassman]

Have fun. You're listening to this podcast, so I know you've got a curious mind.

[Bobby Lee]

Here's a helpful fact you might not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressive

[Rick Glassman]

save over $900 on average. Pop over to progressive.com, answer some questions, and you'll get a quick quote with discounts that are easy to come by. In fact, 99% of their auto customers earn at least one discount. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings by $946 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary.