Sam Morril & The Toyota Camry Hookup

Summary

TigerBelly – Sam Morril & The Toyota Camry Hookup

Podcast: TigerBelly (All Things Comedy)
Date: September 24, 2025
Guests: Sam Morril, Chappelle Lacy, Cat (Catbird)

---

Episode Overview

This episode of TigerBelly brings comedian Sam Morril to the "no-holds-barred arena" alongside host Bobby Lee, Chappelle Lacy, and Catbird. With classic TigerBelly irreverence, they riff through Bobby’s infamous Hollywood beefs, memorable celebrity run-ins, awkward romantic misadventures, societal taboos, and comedic reflections on race and prison. The episode delivers a wild, laughter-filled ride of stories and debates, heavily seasoned with self-roasting and camaraderie.

---

Key Discussion Points & Timestamps

---

1. Bobby Lee’s Celebrity Beefs: Kim Cattrall & Brooke Shields (02:00-07:15)

• Kim Cattrall Beef: Bobby recounts a painful story of being snubbed by Kim Cattrall while filming a 90s Pepsi commercial.
  • “[Kim] comes to me, locks eyes with me, and she stares at me, and then she just walks away.” (06:40, Bobby Lee)
• Brooke Shields: Bobby also describes feeling invisible working as a series regular opposite Brooke Shields, reinforcing his long-running “beef” with “famous older white women.”

2. Sports Star Awkwardness & Comedy Club Legends (07:46-11:15)

• Sam’s Spreewell Encounter: Sam Morril shares a cringe encounter with ex-Knicks star Latrell Spreewell—initially cold, later redeemed—highlighting the awkwardness of approaching your heroes when you’re a "nobody".
• Hosting a Sports Show: Sam reflects on hosting “People Talking Sports” and the odd guests, with Bobby clowning on his TV sweater and “face for radio.”

3. Comedy Hierarchies & ‘Chocolate Sundaes’ (15:25-16:32)

• Discussion on the division in LA’s comedy scene, the segregated club lineups, and bombing at “Chocolate Sundaes” (notorious Black comedy show), with both playful and respectful energy.

4. Medieval Roles, Self-Esteem, and the ‘Wench’ Debate (17:19-18:14, 24:06-25:10)

• Playful arguments about which medieval archetype each would play, with Catbird cast as a “wench”—sparking a running joke about perceived value, self-confidence, and Bobby’s very backhanded “compliments”.

5. London Gigs and the “Comedy Wingman” (22:02-29:17)

• Chappelle’s London Makeout: Bobby recounts helping Chappelle score a makeout with a beautiful woman at a Wembley show—a gift of a “set” as ultimate wingman.
  • “I thought the chemistry was there… I saw her kiss him on the cheek and I was like, oh, he’s got it.” (28:21, Chappelle)
• Bobby’s Romantic Misses: The crew teases Bobby on failing to “close the deal” with a British socialite, dissecting the “friend zone” vs. flirt signals and differences between American and European interactions.

6. Sex, Dating & Post-Marriage Realities (31:08-41:11)

• Love Lives Exposed: The group opens up about post-breakup celibacy, recent hook-ups, and the stereotypes of being “asexual” vs. a hound.
• Bobby’s “Generosity”: Light debate about sending ex-hookups money (“maybe I owe them for the trauma!”) and the threshold for “prostitution.”

7. Bad Hookups, Toyota Camrys, & Post-Game Blues (42:00-44:43)

• Sam’s “Toyota Camry” Hookup: Hilariously recounts a one-night stand with a woman who refused a condom, concluded too fast, and called her an Uber. She quips:
  • “Comes in 10 seconds, then calls me a Toyota Camry.” (44:35, Sam Morril)

8. Flying for Love: The Hawaii Let-Downs (46:24-49:58)

• Bobby’s Painful Vacation: Shares story of flying a woman to Hawaii, only for her to say she’s “not attracted” to him because of his weight. He contemplates the humiliation and later blocks her after refusing her first-class flight demands.

9. Comedy, Video Games, and “Professional Skill” (50:06-56:40)

• Bobby’s Gaming Addiction: 10k spent on mobile games, the joy of “perfect stealth” in Cyberpunk 2077, and comparison between eSports and professional athletes, with much ribbing from Sam.
  • “[Gamers] are making athlete money now, but we don’t know any of their names.” (56:01, Cat)

10. Racial Banter & Stereotypes: Slurs, Privilege, and Prison (61:13-79:10)

• Slur Olympics: Playful yet pointed debate about racialized language, with running jokes about the inadequacy of white slurs (“honky,” “cracker barrel”) and hypothetical restaurant names (“Chinky Bucket”).
  • “If there was a restaurant called Chinky Bucket… and there was a chat…” (66:59, Bobby)
• Whites-Only Communities: The group riffs on a real “whites only” Ozarks community and bemoans Asians being left off racist “priority lists.”
• Prison Gang Choices: The panel laughs about which prison gang they’d join, with Bobby opting to be the “town whore” and meticulously organizing his own victimization for “maximum consent.”

11. Chappelle Lacy’s Family & Upbringing Movie (79:46-84:41)

• Chappelle shares about his father, a tough ex-con, his adoption into a white Christian family, and the sliding-doors of his comic life vs. alternate path—prompting the group to fantasize about a future Oscar-bait biopic.

12. Past Traumas, LA Riots & Comedy Bonds (84:49-88:53)

• Delicate recall of LA racial history, Koreatown, and “roof Koreans,” with Bobby expressing conflicted feelings about his community’s prejudices and the multi-layered realities of race in LA.

13. Closing Out: Big Comedy, Rising Careers, and “Believing in Yourself” (89:29-93:32)

• Sam and Bobby celebrate each other's growing careers, riff on big-venue gigs and the difference between playing to your fans vs. giant arena crowds.
• Panel offers encouragement and mutual affirmation:
  • “You look handsome, man. I think you could pull a British socialite. You deserve it. I want you to believe in you.” (91:34, Sam Morril)

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Kim Cattrall's Shade:
  “She comes to me, locks eyes with me, and she stares at me, and then she just walks away.”
  (06:40, Bobby Lee)

• Chappelle’s Score in London:
  “Me and Bobby had sex.” / “We said it.” (22:34, Chappelle – joking about Bobby being his wingman)

• Sam’s humiliating hook-up:
  “Comes in 10 seconds, then calls me a Toyota Camry.” (44:35, Sam Morril)

• On giving exes money:
  “It was so disgusting hooking up with you that, I think you owe me money.” (41:54, Bobby Lee)

• On race and slurs:
  “The Rolling Stones have Honky Tonk Man... I don't think they're putting up the same title with it.” (65:49, Sam Morril)

• Bobby organizing “nonviolent” prison assault:
  “It's not a rape if I say yes!” (79:02, Bobby Lee)
  “Form a line, one at a time, don't touch my hair, don't come on my back, bro.” (79:02-79:10, Bobby Lee)

• Comedy as Resilience:
  “You look amazing... I think you could pull a British socialite. You deserve it. I want you to believe in you.”
  (91:34, Sam Morril)

---

Segment Index

• 02:00 – Bobby’s celebrity beefs
• 07:46 – Sam’s NBA encounter story
• 15:25 – LA comedy scene & Chocolate Sundaes
• 22:02 – Chappelle’s London hookup & Comedy as wingman
• 31:08 – Post-marriage dating, sex and money
• 42:00 – Sam’s condom-free, “Toyota Camry” night
• 46:24 – Bobby’s Hawaii romantic trainwrecks
• 50:06 – Video games, sports, and eSports debate
• 61:13 – Racist “slur Olympics” & restaurant jokes
• 73:45 – Asia & race in US, prison gangs
• 79:46 – Chappelle’s family story, adoption, and comic life
• 84:49 – LA Riots, Koreatown & roof Koreans
• 89:29 – Comedy, affirmation, upcoming specials

---

Final Thoughts

This episode of TigerBelly delivers top-tier comedic riffing, rich personal anecdotes, and bold cultural commentary. Sam Morril fits right into the crew as they tackle vulnerability, rejection, and personal history—all through the raucous lens of their friendship. The mix of sarcasm, warmth, and biting self-deprecation makes for a quintessential TigerBelly experience.

---

Hosts/Panel:
Bobby Lee | Khalyla (off-mic) | Chappelle Lacy | Catbird
Guest: Sam Morril

(Ad sections and promos redacted. Content summarized as per guidelines.)

Transcript

[A]

Happy birthday to us. Because confetti craze five hour energy shots are back, baby. All cake, no sugar. You can have your cake and sip it too, minus any sugar. Guilt cake ify your day with a quick, easy, portable, tasty caffeine boost. The funfetti flavor is back on 5hourenergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shots today. Strawberry banana five hour energy shots are also delicious. It is one of our favorite flavors. It reminds me of like when you're in the mall during the 90s and you get those little smoothie samples of strawberry banana. It's like that. With a tasty caffeine boost. The funfetti flavor is back on 5hourenergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shot today. Happy birthday to us. It's delicious. Get it. Hello sleepers. This is Guilbo to tell you something very important. It's your last chance to cop the brand new merch. Head over to www.slepkingdom.com to get yours today. We got our brand new vintage wash tees or athletic shorts and our throwback tee from 2016, the slept king tee. Guys, head over to slepkingdom.com to grab yours today. Once again, this is your last chance.

[B]

Hey, y'.

[C]

All.

[B]

I'm gonna be in Milwaukee, Wisconsin October 10th and 11th at the Milwaukee Improv. I've never been there before. Check it out. And also I'm gonna be in Portland or for one night. I'm going to be at the spirit Mountain Casino November 8th.

[D]

But Kim Cattrall and her have beef.

[C]

That's it.

[B]

I hate Chemical Trial. But do you?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Why?

[B]

No. So many. It's a long.

[D]

Why? You hate him? You hate Samantha from sex. Yeah, Yeah, I love it. Bobby has such random beefs with me. It's incredible.

[B]

No, but she, she, she me over. She made. She treated me like one time.

[D]

What? How'd she treat you?

[B]

Like years ago.

[D]

Are we rolling right now? Yeah, we're opening with your beef. I love this.

[B]

I don't have any beef. She was just. There's. I've worked with people and then they've kind of treat me bad. And then I, I have these deep, you know, I mean, long lasting resentments. Yeah, it's her. Brooke Shields is another one. I have a really long, deep resentment towards all famous white women. Yeah. These older famous white women. Oh, man. I'll gouge their eyes out, man.

[D]

I'll probably just beef with sex symbols. Don't get me started. Denise Richards.

[B]

Yeah, beef with Denise Richards. I have PTSD when I watch Blue Lagoon.

[D]

So she's mean, too. Didn't she have, like, a postpartum thing? That was a big. I read the Agassi book. And he was like. In a polite way, was like, she's fucking nuts. You know?

[B]

Remember she picked her boogers and she ate it in the car?

[D]

Are you serious?

[B]

Yeah. Paparazzi took a photo of her picking her nose and she ate the booger.

[D]

That was a Seinfeld plot.

[B]

It was. Maybe it was a Seinfeld. Maybe it's a Seinfeld.

[A]

It was a Seinfeld episode.

[B]

Oh, damn. Yeah, but what. Which beef do you want to talk.

[D]

About, dude, you tell me. Yeah. Why do you have beef with Kim Cattrall from Sex and the City?

[B]

So I did a commercial for her for a Joe Pitka commercial where it was me and Eric Stonestreet.

[D]

Oh, yeah. I like that.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So Eric and I.

[D]

He's the one who seemed really gay, but he's not gay.

[B]

He's not gay at all. No, he's a. He's a machine. But.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Wow. Yeah. What?

[E]

What?

[D]

Well, you. It's you and Samantha. And Eric says, three machines in one commercial.

[B]

Yeah, it was a Pepsi commercial. And no, it wasn't Joe Pickett. It was Michael Bay.

[A]

Oh, the Michael Bay one. That's another beef.

[B]

No, me and Michael are good. We're best. We're best good. No, Michael. No, Michael and I. He invited me to Thanksgiving.

[A]

Remember Michael's wife called Bobby to invite him Thanksgiving. And Bobby was like, I can't. I have. I'm with a girl.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

You're still pissed about Pearl Harbor.

[B]

What was it, that movie? It's slanted one way. Oh, that was. Okay. So anyway.

[C]

So.

[B]

So I had never really acted before. This is in the 90s.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And so there was a scene where Kim Cattrall was in a bathtub.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And I. Me and Eric are towel boys. So I had. I brought in towels, but the gag was the towels are stacked up, so I'm done, you know. So I'm carrying, like, 16 towels.

[D]

All right?

[B]

And I'm kind of, you know, coming in, and so I walk into this bathroom and I hear, cut. And Michael goes, what are you doing, man? I go, what do you mean? He's like, I can't see your face, man. The light. You gotta put your face in the light, man. And I go, I had no idea what that meant. Now I can do it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Now I can Feel the light. You know what I mean? I know where light is. I have access to my peripheral vision.

[D]

This is crazy. You're getting scolded by Michael Bay for a towel commercial. What's in the commercial for Pepsi, though?

[B]

Yeah. Okay, Right. So then. Then I go, I'll do it again. Right. And then act. And then he goes, I didn't do it. And he goes, what are you doing? And I go, well, the towels are my fit, you know? I mean, And I don't know how to. You know what I mean? Yeah. She comes behind the camera. He tries to adjust my. It took 25 times.

[D]

Oh, no.

[B]

Yeah, it was bad.

[C]

Damn.

[F]

Were the towels blocking your face?

[B]

Yes. Oh. So I had to kind of put them in a way where the camera and then the lights hitting me, but also not looking the camera. It was like a whole.

[D]

And Kim Cattrall's getting pissed at you, is she?

[B]

Yeah. Cuz now the. Now the water's getting colder. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Her nipples got a little harder.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, it's getting colder. No, she was wearing a bathing suit. And also there was suds, I think.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. What is it?

[A]

Is it this one?

[C]

Right?

[B]

Did they cut me out of it?

[A]

I think you're cut out of it.

[B]

Is Stone street in it?

[A]

No. I think there's comments of you people asking where you are, though.

[B]

Yeah, I think I was cut out. Yeah, There it is. Yeah, I was cut out of it.

[D]

Damn.

[B]

Yeah. Wow. That was it, though. Yeah. So she's sitting there for, like, I don't get three hours. She's just chilling in that, right?

[F]

Yeah. What's the football theme of that? Was there football players in there?

[B]

Cat, I didn't see it because I was cut out of it. Anyway. Anyway, it got to the point where the end of the night, me and Eric are just standing there, and she goes to Eric and she goes, you have a very big future in this business. Right?

[C]

Oh, man.

[B]

And then she comes to me. I'm not kidding you. She comes to me, locks eyes with me, and she stares at me, and then she just walks away.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. And then Eric kind of looks at me, goes, I'm sorry, man. You know? And I go, I'm done. I'm cooked.

[D]

Damn. That's like a Stephen King movie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Like, you're gonna be huge. You're gonna work with Andrew Santino for the rest of your life. It's gonna be brutal.

[B]

So this is 1998. 99. I don't know what the year was, but. And then Brooke Shields is The same thing where I was on the other gay guy.

[D]

You're gonna be huge. He's like, you suck.

[B]

Where she just wasn't. She would. You know, I was a serious regular on a pilot.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And she just wouldn't talk to me or, you know, acknowledge my existence.

[D]

Damn.

[B]

And it felt hurtful.

[D]

That is fucked up. What the hell?

[B]

Awful. So, I mean, those are the two. You don't have any beefs?

[D]

Do I have beefs? No, I've prepared them all. I feel like they're all fine.

[B]

Me, too. I think I have, too, for the most part.

[D]

That should be.

[F]

You have a lot of beef.

[D]

I feel like, you know what hurt.

[B]

I do. I do.

[D]

I had one when I was a young comic. I was in Milwaukee, and I'm a huge Knicks fan. Obviously, I'm wearing the hat, but, you know, I'm. I'm playing the Milwaukee Comedy Cafe. Terrible room.

[B]

Great room, but it sounds like a nightmare.

[D]

I'm hanging out afterwards.

[B]

Coffee? What is it? What's going on here? Is there. Is there coffee?

[D]

No, I don't. You know what? Why a hot press called a cafe? What the.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

But afterwards, they were like, you know, Latrell Spreewell drinks at that bar every night across the street. And I was like, oh. Spree was like, my favorite player. He's the best. And she goes, he's there every night if you want to go in. I was like, not every night. We go in. He's fucking there.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

Just drinking. And I was like, holy shit. Spree was my guy. So I. I went over to him, and I was like, hey, man. I was wearing a Knicks sweatshirt. I was like, I'm a huge fan. He's like, all right. And I was like, can I buy you a drink? He goes, I have a drink. And I'm, like, thinking of any card.

[B]

I'm like, sam, are you a big comic at the point. At that point?

[D]

No.

[B]

I was like, what are you walking up to a fucking athlete like that?

[D]

I was hypnotized.

[C]

He was.

[D]

He was a fucking hero of mine. I don't know.

[B]

I. I was in the elevator with my biggest hero of all time.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Athlete.

[D]

Who?

[B]

Thierry Henry.

[D]

Okay, who is it?

[B]

Thierry Henry.

[D]

Oh, the. Yeah, yeah, I know.

[B]

Who is he?

[F]

Soccer player.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. French team Cat.

[E]

What?

[B]

Cat's on the rise. Opening up for Theo Vaughan at the Honda Center.

[F]

He's just gotta.

[D]

No one. So what do you say to.

[B]

To who? Henri Henry. Yeah. Kerry Henry. Nothing. And he's. I have a fucking framed photo of him in my. In my house, in my room.

[D]

By the way, why is there a chicken in your bathroom?

[F]

Yeah, what was that?

[B]

That was not alive.

[D]

Is there a camera in there?

[B]

You know, I have a side.

[D]

Like, wait a second. Yeah, no, I'm not having a good dick day.

[B]

You know, my side fortunate. My side job is I'm a taxidermy.

[D]

Do you really know that? Yeah, I could see you doing that.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

I have a panda upstairs.

[D]

I had a bad moment with it, so that was a. Like a minor moment. That was rough. And then I. I see Spree, and I was like, hey, you should come to the comedy club. I said, come to the comedy club.

[B]

You said that to everybody?

[D]

Yes, I said it was pretty well.

[B]

Oh, it's embarrassing.

[D]

I know. And he goes. And he said, don't count on it. And then I went away like, oh, my God, that was brutal. And then some other guy. I was with a woman from the comedy club. And she goes. Her boyfriend goes, I work for Bleacher Report. Let me handle this. I'm like, what does that mean? Not in the FBI, motherfucker. And he went over to him, and I just see Spiebold go, get the fuck.

[B]

And, oh, my God.

[D]

I got off easy.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

And then. And then the bartender from the. She came to the show the next night. The bartender was like, nah, he's like a cool guy. He's in a bad mood. Sure, sure. So she was, like, texting him. She goes, I'm texting Spreewell about you. You like? It was a good. It was a good show. I'm with the comedian from the other night. He put on a good show and Spreewo. Oh, yeah, I remember that guy. Really good guy. That's what he wrote back.

[B]

Oh, lying bastard.

[D]

And I was like, what? And she goes, I. I think he's just trying to fuck you. I don't think he cares about me. And she's like, yeah, maybe.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

But I met him years later, and he was a great guy. I had a sports show, and he was a guest on it. He was so nice.

[B]

Oh, really?

[D]

Yeah. But he was the only guy that, like, I would do gags before the interviews where I'm like, can you like with me? And he was the only guy who wouldn't with me.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And I think it's because he really did choke his coach out. So. So he's like, I don't want to be a pretend dick because I actually choked someone.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

But like any other, like, I had, like, CeCe Sabathia from the Yankees on. And he would be like. He would. Like other guys would mess with me.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

And he.

[B]

What's the sports show called?

[D]

It was called People Talking Sports. It was on the Knicks Network for, like, two years. It was fun as hell.

[B]

It was just now. Were you on the rise then or were you a nobody?

[D]

I was a nobody, dude. I just had a sports show and it was fun.

[B]

You have a great radio voice.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

You don't think you do.

[D]

I'm waiting for the insult.

[B]

No, there's nobody and a face and.

[D]

A face for radio.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

This was. Look at that awful sweater. What the fuck was I doing? Oh, look at that camera on the rapper. And I made Anthony DeVito dress as well.

[B]

You get that at McDonald's? That's what.

[C]

That's a bad.

[B]

I'll take the Hamburglar.

[D]

That is. That is like 1930s French prisoner.

[B]

A terrible look, dude.

[D]

I know, dude. I took a risk. I took a risk.

[B]

Bobby, that not. That shirt's good. What is that? All Saints?

[D]

No, I don't know.

[B]

What is it?

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Whack a Maria.

[B]

Huh? Oh, it's Zara.

[D]

All right.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I like. This is stretchy. I like the stretchy. Yeah. Cameron the rapper was a guess. That guy ruled.

[F]

I love Cameron. Hey, Ma.

[D]

Oh, my God. Yeah, he was so.

[C]

He's.

[B]

His name is Camera.

[D]

You know, Cameron, New York. You don't know the song welcome to New York City?

[C]

No.

[F]

No, he doesn't.

[D]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

New York? Yeah. Is that what it is?

[D]

Welcome to New York City?

[B]

No.

[D]

Welcome to New York City?

[B]

No, but you know that song, Jay Z's. What's that one? Alicia Key. Yeah, that's. I know that one does. That is.

[A]

That is.

[B]

Alicia Key is camera.

[D]

No, dude, he's a fucking man.

[B]

I don't know things I don't need to know. You know, I ran into. I was. I don't know. I started another beef. I'm about to start another beef. I'm about to start another beef.

[D]

Who is it?

[B]

But I was on the plane flying from Cleveland back to LA Sunday, okay. And there was a comic for the last 25 years who I've been trying to, like, say hi to and talk to, and he little. I'm gonna get to it, okay? And he.

[D]

Or I don't know why I did that. I knew the same. I literally. I know, I know. But this does feel like. Like a relationship thing where, like, a woman's like.

[C]

It's like.

[D]

And then I'm like, just fucking get to the ending. Just fucking get to it.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Sorry. I don't know why I did that.

[B]

Should I cut the fat out a little bit or. I'll go. So it was Corey, maybe.

[D]

Oz. Epic. This story too, Bobby.

[B]

It was Corey Holcomb.

[D]

I. I know. He's very funny.

[B]

I've never met. So funny. Yeah, I was. I've always been a fan of Corey Holcomb.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And for the longest time, I would go, what's up?

[D]

He doesn't recognize you?

[B]

Not always recognize that. He. There was a point where he wouldn't even, like, he wouldn't even look my direction, really. I would go, what's up, dude? And he would just kind of walk by and stuff.

[F]

Do you think he knows who you are?

[B]

So. No. What?

[F]

Well, I know I.

[A]

That was like a back.

[F]

I was just saying.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You just punched me in the face.

[D]

No, I don't think he does, clearly.

[B]

Would you say that to Theo? You fucking arrogant piece of shit. On the rise. See, when these young people go on the rise, they start attacking their fucking people underneath.

[D]

He's a funny guy. I like him.

[B]

Yeah, he's a very funny man. But, you know, so then it got to the point where I was like, you know I'm never gonna try, right? So I'm on the plane and he goes, what's up, man? Like, he is on the flight. And I. And. And also, can I say when you have. Like, I'm not gonna talk to him again. In my mind, I'm like, you know, I mean, I'm never gonna say hi to him.

[D]

I'm done with him.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. But then when he goes, what's up, Michael? What's up, man?

[D]

He said, heidi.

[B]

Yeah, I got way more. More excited. I go, what's up, Corey, my man? You doing gig? You know what I mean? I did that.

[D]

One of those things because he big timed you and then finally gave you a little.

[B]

He gave me a lot, actually. It was almost as if we were like, you know me, we're in the same platoon in Vietnam.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Like an old.

[D]

Which side were you on?

[B]

The winning side. You know the winning side.

[D]

I know.

[B]

I was there. Hamburger.

[D]

We lost that one.

[B]

Hamburger Hill.

[D]

I was we. Damn, dude.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

But, yeah, I love this guy.

[B]

He's so talented.

[D]

I love him for being nice to you. That's more important.

[B]

Yeah, he was very nice. And then.

[F]

Is he from Chicago?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

Catbird. With his history, I didn't know he.

[F]

Had A White Sox hat on.

[B]

Oh, yeah, probably. Oh, were you a detective?

[D]

Jesus Christ. Colombo. That was smooth. None of us caught that.

[B]

That was good.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah, we did not catch that.

[D]

I guess we are wearing our hats.

[B]

We're wearing our hats. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. But, yeah, that was smooth.

[B]

You know, there's. There's a group of comics that are not in our club scene.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm huge fan. Like, you know, like, D. Ray Davis.

[D]

I never. Really good actor.

[B]

So funny. Great actor.

[D]

You know, I'm just gonna rattle off black dudes.

[B]

No, no. Gary Owen.

[D]

Black guy, basically.

[B]

Yeah, basically. But it's like, they don't. You're never on lineups with them. Yeah, right. They're not. They don't call in at the regular club night.

[D]

Say what you want. I go on chocolate Sundays all the time. I love Reuben show. Yeah, Try to pop it. Oh, my God. Mark and I did that Netflix Roast the Year thing, and we. And we were running.

[B]

Speaking of black shows.

[A]

The timing was kind of crazy.

[D]

We were running the set in the ground because you just got to run the jokes. And we did. We did. The two shows we bombed on were the chocolate sundaes. Yeah.

[C]

Y' all bombed the chocolate sundae.

[D]

Yeah, we did. Well, we did. We just did Roast jokes. We're trying. We weren't even doing. I think we did stand up. We would have been fine, but they're just like, what? We're just like. And here's something. Here's a Luigi Mangioni joke, and they're like, what?

[B]

This doesn't apply. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

No, it's bad.

[B]

I remember I did a black show at.

[C]

You got to say it like that, but go ahead.

[B]

Well, you know what? Being a representative of your people. What. What should I say?

[C]

Kind people. Great people.

[B]

So I did a kind show in front of kind people. Now do you know now the reference. I mean, if I say it to people, they're gonna know. They're gonna.

[C]

Kings and queens is what we.

[B]

All right, So I did a show. A bunch of kings and queens. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. King Henry was there.

[D]

I'm sick of King. I'm sick of hearing. I have a friend who always goes. My friend goes king. I am sick of it.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I had a cashier at Walgreens call me King. I'm like, I'm buying stool soft. We have to do King with everything. Have a good day, King.

[C]

Have a good one, King.

[D]

Yeah, I'm over it.

[B]

During the Land of Kings and quiz, I wouldn't even be A king. I would be the guy that was, like, cleaning that toilet.

[D]

None of us would be king.

[B]

We don't be back then. Oh, you'd be dead. I think you would be dead.

[D]

Or I'd be like a Weasley guy who.

[C]

You didn't give me a chance.

[F]

Yeah, I think we'd both be dead, to be honest.

[B]

No, you. I know. What? You're a wench.

[F]

What the hell?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. What? Back then. Look at your face.

[E]

What?

[B]

You.

[D]

That was.

[B]

I don't care. I don't care. Dude, I'm done. I'm done with her, all right? I don't you be a wench.

[C]

Wait, so what would Sam be? What would you be?

[D]

Some.

[B]

Someone who died? No, he plays a horn when the king and the copel.

[D]

Yeah, I'm power adjacent. I kind of like that.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

That's all right.

[B]

Hey, Bobby introduced the room.

[F]

Oh, what's the chat?

[B]

GPT that.

[F]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. All right.

[D]

You guys really treat him like his first podcast ever.

[B]

You know, I'm not gonna.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

You know, because that. I don't like the way you did it.

[A]

Try to use a nice graphic.

[B]

That was really nice.

[F]

It was good.

[D]

Well, I mean, you have so much help here.

[B]

I know. Yeah, I know. We have Sam Morrill.

[D]

Hey, how are you?

[B]

Chappelle. Lacy.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

Cat Bird.

[A]

Hi.

[B]

And we good. And I'm your host, Bobby Lee. Welcome to Tiger Bell.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Welcome to the land of Zoc Dog. Hello, world minions and stray cats roam the forests of all kinds. Sock Talk is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.

[E]

It's super easy.

[B]

For example, my shoulder hurts.

[E]

Well, let's. Let's go a little further than that. You've had some recent discolorations in your groin region.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

You're like, why is this getting darker?

[B]

Why is it happening?

[E]

Well, then we had to go look for a dermatologist, right?

[B]

Yep.

[E]

Because you're like. Like, why am I also black?

[B]

Yeah. He did say.

[A]

He went, why my balls?

[B]

And he still doesn't know what's going on. He said there was stains.

[E]

Over the years, you had some recent discoloration in your nether regions. And you're like, what, another world? I call it Netherworld. And so we had to go find a dermatologist. What I love about Zocdoc, it makes it so easy. You can figure out I was a.

[B]

Neanderthal because it's so dark.

[E]

It makes it so easy to find a doctor. That takes your insurance and it's the best.

[B]

Why wouldn't you do it for restaurants? I mean, people do it.

[E]

Yeah, they do.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you do it for your health?

[E]

And you can filter for doctors to take your insurance, are located nearby, are a good fit for any medical need you may have, and are highly rated by verified patients. And once you find the right doctor, you can see their actual appointment openings. Choose a time slot that works for you and click to instantly book a visit.

[B]

Appointments made through Zocdoc also happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. More often than not, you can even get same day appointments.

[A]

Stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to Zocdoc.com belly to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com bellyzocdoc.com belly.

[B]

Blue chew for your mind and your penis. Guys. Glue chew. All right, guys, enter the room. Dick first.

[A]

Always.

[B]

Bluechew isn't just a tablet. It's a cheat code for your crotch. Stronger, harder, longer lasting. Ethereal. Like someone gave your downstairs a pep talk in a gym membership. Guys, when you're in your 50s, like I am, right, sometimes your buddy ain't ready for the war. Oh, and the war is coming.

[A]

It's happening.

[E]

He's asleep.

[B]

Yeah, he's asleep, right? And what we're saying is that, hey, buddy, put your helmet on, get your gun, right, and let's get into action.

[F]

Okay?

[B]

Let's go into Normandy. And when I say Normandy, I mean a woman's vagina. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bluechew is the original brand offering chewable tablets for better sex.

[A]

Guys, this just isn't about performance. This is about legacy. Or third legacy. Give her group chat something to talk about. You know, when you lay it down, they're talking about how it gets up. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little bluechew. Discover your options at bluechew.

[B]

And we've got a special deal for our listeners. As always, get your first month of Bluechew free. Just use promo code Belly at checkout.

[C]

And pay five bucks for shipping. That's it.

[B]

Join BlueChew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to BlueChew.com for details and safety info. And big thanks to BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Chappelle. Have we talked about London?

[C]

What about it?

[B]

We talk about it.

[C]

What are you. What are you trying to talk about?

[B]

Sam, let me say something. Let me ask you a question.

[D]

Sure, yeah.

[B]

If you get somebody laid?

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Did you get laid in London?

[C]

I don't kiss until well.

[B]

Yeah, but let me know. I'm just.

[D]

You got. How do you get him laid?

[C]

How do you give him like. I ain't got no game, bro.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe I got it wrong. Excuse me. Okay.

[F]

Something's happening.

[D]

Yeah, I can just already tell.

[C]

Me and Bobby had sex.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Dude.

[C]

We said it.

[F]

Who was the bottom?

[D]

It was.

[C]

Who's the bottom?

[B]

You want this cut out?

[D]

So you guys. You gigged it? You gigged together?

[B]

No, that's okay.

[D]

That's just a gig.

[B]

No, no. So I'm in London. Can we talk? No or no, I made out with someone.

[C]

1.

[B]

She made out human out with somebody. Okay, good.

[D]

Cute lady.

[B]

Very hot. Yeah, yeah, super hot. Wow. So, you know, I'm in London, you know, I mean, I find out that Chappelle's in London. You mean Andrew are doing a gigantic show at the Wemby OVU Arena? Yeah, yeah. A lot of people came out, you know, and I go, you know what? I'll get Chappelle on the show. Do a little guesty guest. Right. I offered.

[D]

That's nice.

[C]

He offered. He offered a guess.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't ask. You did five minutes. Seven minutes.

[F]

That's pretty good.

[B]

And you killed it. Wow. And then based on that, you made out with a very beautiful woman.

[D]

Did he do more than make out or.

[C]

No, I don't do the whole sex before marriage thing.

[D]

That's beautiful.

[B]

Are you being real?

[F]

Wait, what?

[B]

Wait, what are you doing?

[C]

For being so nice.

[D]

I don't like the negativity that Bob.

[B]

I'm bringing negativity.

[C]

I'm just being so kind, I think, you know, and Bobby just. You just came in aggressive to my beliefs and my.

[B]

Okay, let's switch gears then.

[F]

Can I say something?

[B]

Yeah, go ahead, Kat.

[D]

I like that women ask permission here. It's a good energy to bring around. We can institute into the whole.

[F]

Well, I'm the wench of the. I still don't even know what that means.

[B]

Google wench from medieval area, please. Medieval times.

[F]

I'll do the accent.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

Okay. So I think, to play devil's advocate, I think that Chappelle probably could have kissed a really pretty woman without the seven minutes.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

But not that specific one.

[D]

But you know what it does? I will say it takes the groundwork out.

[B]

If.

[C]

If you.

[F]

What the hell? Are you joking?

[B]

That's you.

[D]

I think. Which one of them is me is much better.

[B]

The guy to the far left.

[D]

That's a fucking rough looking.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. That shifted you to the left. That's you.

[F]

That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah. Or you would be. You think that you would be a gypsy.

[F]

Why?

[B]

I mean, what, you think you're in the royal family?

[F]

I. Probably not, but I could. I could figure it out.

[C]

Bobby, why are you just bringing us all down, bro?

[B]

I don't know.

[F]

Her.

[C]

When she said I can't get a beautiful girl.

[B]

Excuse me, I didn't say that.

[C]

Yes, you did. You said the only way I could get it is by doing seven minutes of stand up comedy.

[B]

Is that what I said, Sam? Is that what I said?

[D]

Well, you said the comedy takes the groundwork out, as we all know. You insinuated that he would not have gotten any ass if not for the bad friend.

[B]

That's not what I'm saying. I didn't insinuate shit, okay? All I said was that it just happens to be that he did a set on my show and you know, he got a woman. That was at my show.

[D]

No, also though, he killed so hard that it improved the quality of your show. Right.

[B]

It actually made me angry that he killed me.

[C]

Oh yeah, he did. As soon as I got on stage, he goes, what the.

[B]

That was 10,000 people. Yeah, I was.

[F]

That's awesome.

[D]

10,000 is big. That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah, I was like, you know what I mean? You're going to do that?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I thought you're going to like try experiment and do some new jobs or whatever.

[C]

Yeah, just pull up my phone. 10,000.

[D]

All right, guys, I'm just trying local.

[B]

London material or something.

[C]

The. What else have you been the weather spoons?

[B]

No, but you did kill and. But I. So then remember that one girl that was hanging out with us?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you thought that I had a shot with her? I thought.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

No, not at all.

[C]

I believed it.

[D]

You didn't make it happen.

[C]

Why?

[F]

What was she way out of your league?

[B]

She was way out of my league, so.

[F]

Yeah, I don't think that's me.

[C]

I don't. Bobby.

[D]

Yeah, but that's never stopped you before. You've been. You get hot chicks all the time.

[B]

No. Some.

[C]

Bobby.

[B]

Yeah, go ahead.

[C]

I believed in you that night.

[F]

Was she young?

[B]

In her 30s? Early 30s.

[F]

That's pretty young.

[B]

That's very young. Wait, wait, wait. That's young for who?

[C]

Yeah, right.

[B]

For me.

[F]

Just for normal people.

[D]

You look good right now.

[C]

You actually. Yeah, you actually look really, really good. Skin is glowing.

[B]

What is going on?

[C]

But here's the thing. We all.

[B]

We all from all sides.

[C]

No, we gotta play a song. Yeah. We gave you love we gave you love we gave you love and you gave us anger yeah, you gave us anger we made.

[F]

You called me a gypsy yeah, you said you did. You called me a. Yeah, I heard.

[B]

That was all right.

[D]

So why did. How'd you blow it with this girl? What happened?

[C]

How'd you blow.

[B]

I didn't blow it.

[D]

Did you make out with her?

[B]

No.

[D]

Chamele made out after.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did.

[B]

It was.

[C]

Here's the thing. Listen, I. I thought. Listen, I felt the chemistry. No, I thought the chemistry was there.

[B]

There's verbal hints. There are verbal hints that I lock onto.

[F]

What are the verbal hints?

[D]

Like, please stop.

[A]

No means no.

[B]

No.

[C]

No. Because we went to a very nice restaurant that she recommended.

[D]

You brought her out, too?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Everyone was there. Andrew.

[C]

Yeah, we were.

[D]

You take her to dinner. What went wrong?

[F]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

She was a socialite.

[F]

A British.

[B]

A British socialite.

[C]

She was funny as.

[B]

She was very funny, too. She was super fun, but she was also. Because she was funny. Yeah, because she's a socialite. Because she was beautiful. She was beautiful, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She had all the things in my mind. I'm like, already. It's like, there's just no way.

[D]

No, I think you closed.

[C]

Yeah, he could have closed it because I saw.

[B]

I can't close it.

[C]

One night, I saw her kiss him on the cheek and I was like, oh, he's got it.

[F]

That's a friend.

[B]

That's what socials. That's what. European socialites.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Oh, If I take a kiss on the cheek, I'm like, oh, I'm getting it.

[B]

You're reading it wrong. No, you're reading around.

[D]

It's a friend zone move. That sucks.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I read. Thank you. That's what I read you.

[C]

You.

[D]

He. I do like that. He saw a kiss in the cheek. He was like, dude, he's it. Bobby. You could be my brother. He's like, dude, this chick's gonna. Bobby, dude, you so.

[C]

But you literally just called it, though.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

The kiss in the cheek is bru. That's poisonous.

[B]

It's nothing.

[D]

It's poison.

[B]

It's poison. Yeah, it's more like bonjour.

[F]

Your BFFs.

[B]

You know, I mean, that kind of thing.

[D]

So you couldn't close, and I can't.

[B]

Close in one day, but you.

[D]

I feel like you get laid after shows all the time.

[F]

Wow.

[B]

Can I be honest with you? Be honest in the amount of time I've done comedy since the 90s after shows, I've probably been laid. And this is 30 years. Four times.

[D]

Wow, that's crazy.

[B]

I just can't. I'm so picky.

[F]

What is that because you're in the bed?

[A]

I just typed in girls 90s. Bobby Lee.

[F]

Did you close the deal with her?

[C]

Okay, yeah, what about her?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but did you.

[D]

Were you like, I can't believe that's.

[B]

Out on the Internet.

[D]

Were you intrigued by this woman? Because you were like, it's going to be a tough one.

[F]

The body language is crazy, by the way. I just want you to see, cuz.

[B]

You'Re my body language, bro.

[C]

Look how far away you are from her. His hand is like this.

[D]

Holy. Is that actually you?

[B]

Yeah, that's me.

[D]

Oh my God. Oh, I thought it was like a racist prank. I didn't know that was you. That doesn't even look like you.

[B]

Yeah, it does. That's me. Dude, that's crazy. 90s. Yeah, it's 90s to me.

[C]

You look better now.

[B]

You do. I think I do. Yeah. Well, back then that was a style.

[C]

No, What?

[B]

Okay. I mean, back then I would walk around, go, oh, that's good.

[F]

She looks so uncomfortable.

[C]

No, listen, back to what Sam was saying to the friends. I think you literally called it because he's. You said that. You're like, I think it's a friend zone thing.

[B]

Yeah, my instincts are right.

[C]

And I always.

[D]

Was she flirting with you at first or.

[B]

No, no, no, bro.

[C]

Yes. She kissed you on the cheek.

[B]

She just said what that meant. You don't listen.

[F]

British.

[D]

Go ahead.

[F]

They're weird because they're like, they're very, like, socially flirty and they'll. They'll do the kiss on the cheek and.

[D]

All right, let's.

[F]

You Talk to you later.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. She also knows all these football stars. I know him. I know Benny w. All the. Yeah, Soccer, football. She so. And she's like, oh, no, we're friends.

[D]

You know, probably banged on re later that night. Dude.

[B]

Call back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she was above my league. I think.

[D]

I don't.

[B]

Do you think there are women that are above your league?

[D]

Of course.

[B]

There we go then. Do you believe that?

[C]

No.

[D]

Yeah, but I believe in you more than I believe in me.

[C]

I'm that guy.

[B]

No, I don't.

[D]

I believe in my friend.

[B]

I believe in me less than I believe in, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't believe in myself at all.

[D]

Yeah, but that's how we all. You believe in Comics we have none of us.

[F]

Believe in yourself sometimes.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, how's the dating going?

[F]

I'm not dating right now. Well, I'm single, but I'm not dating.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[F]

Well, I'm single.

[B]

She just got out of a marriage.

[D]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Or good.

[D]

I don't know.

[F]

It's good.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Is it good that you're out?

[F]

It's good that I'm out, yeah.

[D]

Are you in pain still or.

[F]

No, no, no, I'm not.

[C]

No pain?

[F]

No, I'm good.

[B]

Are you alone? You went dirty, Wen.

[D]

You're not going on. You don't go on dates, though, at anything?

[F]

No. I've been on a few dates, actually, but they always want to get to know you, which I don't want them to know.

[B]

Oh, you just want to smash.

[F]

No, I don't want to.

[C]

Sounds like it.

[F]

Okay, relax. Okay? You guys can talk about.

[D]

This is not a stereotype. I've heard about men. You know what the problem with men is? They just. They just want to get to know.

[C]

Is that.

[D]

Is that really what the abs are?

[C]

What guys are you meeting?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Women in their dating profiles. No. Men looking to just get to know.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

She's on a date with Justin Martindale. He's gay, by the way.

[D]

Bobby. We got it.

[B]

He is gay, by the way.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That's crazy.

[C]

So funny.

[B]

Yeah. So. So they wanted. They go. So, what are your dreams and aspirations?

[F]

Yeah, there's just a lot of, like, talky talky, you know? Can I come to your show?

[C]

But what do you want?

[F]

Just like, I want to just, you.

[C]

Know, say it loud.

[F]

No.

[B]

Have you.

[D]

Have you slept with anyone since the marriage?

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, good.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

No, you can do that.

[F]

Why'd you do that face?

[C]

Oh, no, I didn't know because me, I'm a little. I don't know, it'd probably take me. After my ex and I broke up, I went celibate.

[F]

Okay, well, now I'm a wench.

[B]

What the hell?

[C]

I was celibate.

[D]

Celibate.

[B]

Before that.

[C]

Fuck off, Virginia.

[B]

Dude, you're a virgin.

[C]

Dude, I'm not a virgin. I get down.

[B]

I don't think you do. Dude.

[C]

I get down. Bobby. You don't think I get down. Look at me.

[B]

You feel? The most asexual black guy I've ever met, bitch. Dude, Sam, he used to cheerlead.

[D]

Did he really?

[B]

In high school.

[D]

Yeah, but those guys got chicks.

[B]

Dude, are you sure?

[D]

I don't.

[B]

I always see them. Like, we're cheerleading.

[C]

Bitch. I Was never like that.

[B]

You weren't?

[C]

No.

[B]

You were the foundation. They needed you.

[C]

Yeah, they needed me. Look how big I am.

[B]

Yeah. When the big black guy.

[C]

Why is it gotta be, oh, when.

[B]

The big kings and queens.

[C]

I was like.

[B]

Yeah, I forgot. I forgot the terminology.

[D]

You know, the kind people.

[B]

The kind people when they're.

[C]

Yeah. You know, women are attracted to me, bro.

[B]

No, no, that's not what I said. I'm just saying that you're not. You seem just like. Okay. There are some comics that you meet, and I'm sure they're like hound dogs and you know what I mean? And, oh, they could be very sexual. But to me, they read Asexual, you know, I mean. There he is.

[D]

Whoa, that's impressive.

[B]

That's impressive, dude. That's amazing.

[C]

Hey, look at my digging those shorts.

[B]

All right, now, did you ever drop anybody?

[C]

I mean. No, it was good, bro.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

You never dropped one person?

[C]

Nah, I broke a girl's collarbone, but.

[D]

Yeah, that was out of practice.

[C]

Yeah, I was just out here beating white.

[B]

Little white girls. Well, you're strong.

[C]

No, I am strong, but, like. Yeah, you're right. All right. You got me figured out. I can't even front.

[B]

What?

[C]

I'm a little. I, I. I've turned down sex. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

[B]

Have you ever turned it down?

[D]

Have I ever turned. Yeah, in my life, probably, but it was probably, like. Yeah, I can't locate that memory.

[C]

Yeah, you can't. I'm sure it's happening.

[D]

No, I'm fucking. I'm reckless, dude. I mean, I got out of something, so I'm just. I'm reckless and I'm all right now.

[B]

You are? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

What about you? Have you turned down six?

[B]

You know, I. Yeah, but it was.

[D]

Louis Anderson.

[B]

His ghost. No. Yeah, I've turned it down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

It's beautiful.

[C]

Have you turned down sex?

[F]

Yeah, I've turned it down.

[D]

Of course.

[B]

Women turn it down all the time, right?

[F]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I turn it.

[B]

Well, did people just walk up to you, hi, I'm a stranger, when you want to have sex? That kind of thing, or.

[D]

No.

[A]

All the time.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just go into.

[B]

Guys just hit on you all the time.

[F]

No, no, no, no. I don't think they hit on me all the time.

[C]

Yes, you're pretty.

[F]

Thanks.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, as, As a Comedy Store employee, you're probably the one of the prettier ones.

[F]

Thank you.

[C]

Did you say that? Oh, you want to keep that in. So nice.

[D]

This is not a good idea any of this crazy.

[B]

Is that why is that crazy?

[A]

No, it's great.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're one of the.

[D]

You're one of the better looking employees at a club I go to.

[F]

That's almost a compliment.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have some characters there. That's all I'm saying. Some zany little characters. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like Fraggle Rock.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Anyway, I always use that reference and no one knows what it is.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what Fraggle Rock is?

[D]

I know. I. It's before my time. I'm aware of what it is.

[B]

Yeah. What is it? It.

[D]

It's a show.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Dude, don't get angry.

[D]

I'm angry.

[B]

That's the comic store employees. Oh, that's the cast photo.

[D]

Now. It's fun.

[B]

Anyway, let me ask you. I was at a. I was out the other day with a friend, and it was somebody at this restaurant that was pretty attractive. Like, oh, look at how attractive that individual is. That's how I said it. I mean, that's very nice.

[F]

Look at that. Sexy.

[B]

Yeah. No, I didn't say that. I go, yeah. And then my buddy was like, go talk to her. And I go, no, no, I didn't. But is that something that you've ever done?

[D]

Got, like, talked to a person, A stranger?

[B]

No. You're at a restaurant.

[D]

Not at a restaurant, but a bar.

[B]

Yeah. If we were at a restaurant, would you do it at a restaurant?

[D]

Restaurant's weird.

[B]

It's weird, right?

[C]

Were they working?

[B]

Were they. No, no, they were just a patron.

[F]

Were they eating? And you're supposed to just go.

[B]

They just sat down, they ordered drinks.

[D]

And what do you say to her?

[B]

I didn't say anything. My buddy, my butt. We're on a different table. But it was like, go say hi. And I go, I've never done that. I'm never going to do that still.

[F]

Or sparkly.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You didn't.

[D]

Yeah. You didn't get.

[B]

Would you. You said you've never done it.

[D]

I wouldn't do it in a restaurant.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's so hard.

[C]

Would you do it? Someone came up.

[B]

A bar. Yes.

[D]

A bar invites that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

But yeah, restaurants.

[C]

Restaurants is weird.

[F]

I feel like if you came up to me at a restaurant, I'd be like, who's this employee talking?

[B]

Why I look like a busboy? What are you trying to say?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, you're now even for your.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

For my half heart, Fraggle Rock or whatever.

[C]

One of the prettier Bus Boys. That was good.

[B]

Real good one, George.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Shut the up, guy. Okay, guy. Good one, though.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. What a zinger.

[D]

In a bar. I'll.

[C]

I'll.

[D]

I'll approach. Approach.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Let's talk about areas where you wouldn't. We wouldn't. Okay.

[D]

Most places other than.

[C]

Most places.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Gym.

[B]

Really?

[D]

I. Oh, my God. My friend dancing.

[B]

Boot camp.

[D]

We'd be on the. We'd be on the subway and he'd just be like, hey, how are you? And they'd be like, oh, like, I'm with you. Please stop doing this.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And he was trying to commute. Oh, yeah.

[D]

Oh, it's in a trapped enclosed space. It's a. No.

[B]

Funeral.

[D]

Funeral.

[B]

I think.

[F]

Go for it.

[C]

Funeral.

[D]

Afterwards, maybe.

[B]

Oh, after the. Well, there are parties afterwards.

[C]

Everyone's vulnerable. After.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, they've been done crying.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

After is okay. At the. When they're better than body.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not turn the body. Drop.

[B]

So what would you say? Like, let's say I'm a girl. I'm a funeral, right. We're at the after thing and I'm.

[D]

Just like, life is short, man. You gotta. Gotta go for it.

[B]

And I go, yeah. And I go, yeah. What do you mean?

[D]

It's just, you know, you never know what could happen. One day you're here, the next you're not.

[B]

Yeah. Are you hitting on me?

[D]

No, no. I'm just saying. Yeah, anything could happen.

[B]

Yeah, anything could happen. Yeah.

[D]

No. Anything.

[B]

Yeah. My husband.

[D]

Your husband died?

[B]

Yeah. That's the funeral rat. Oh, he's all up, Sam, that you're hitting on me right now.

[D]

Yeah. You're wearing a pretty revealing outfit. I mean, you're kind of asking for it a little bit. You have a nice rack. You seem. You seem kind of horny for a few.

[C]

Weird.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

If you're good at that, I would fumble.

[B]

I would fumble.

[C]

I would fumble. So I'm not good at that because.

[D]

Those are head down.

[B]

That's funny. That's good. I think that's a good. That's a good angle.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

What?

[F]

You're wearing a revealing outfit. Angle.

[B]

No, I think you should.

[D]

Yeah. I think you gaslight. You gaslight a widow at her funeral and you say, like, you're kind of a. And it works.

[B]

I think that would work, maybe.

[D]

Yeah. You suggest. You don't say it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

You say. You tell her.

[B]

Have you hit on anybody, like, a guy ever?

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

I've approached guys at bars, for sure.

[C]

Really?

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

What's your opener?

[B]

Yeah. Hey, that's good.

[C]

That's all a guy needs, honestly.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And then women need more. I feel like I gotta make them laugh.

[F]

Yeah. Here's the thing, because some. Sometimes my friends go up and they like, will ask for drinks from a guy. They'll just be like, oh, will you buy me a drink?

[C]

Really?

[F]

Yeah. And I can't do that. I don't know. I feel bad. I feel like I have to, like, make out with you now. If I, you know, the drink means you.

[D]

That's great. We need more women like this with low self esteem.

[F]

I feel like, you know, you can't just go. Don't you think. Isn't that.

[C]

Yeah, it is kind of crazy?

[F]

But maybe. Okay. Yeah, maybe. Yeah.

[B]

Would you.

[C]

How many drinks have you bought for women before?

[B]

Oh, many.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Really?

[B]

And I've had that happen where they'll go, can you buy me a drink?

[C]

And you've done it.

[B]

Yeah. And I buy it to them and then they go buy and they just leave. And you're like, what the.

[D]

Yeah, it's happened. All of them. Yeah, of course that happened.

[B]

Really?

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

You get. You get played. Sure.

[B]

You get played. Yeah, yeah, I get also. I don't know about you, but, you know, since, you know, I was in a relationship with Kalila for so long, and so then in the beginning of.

[C]

I didn't know that.

[B]

I didn't know that that's how nice people, kind people come.

[D]

You guys, you guys are like a model for how to stay friends. I mean, it's crazy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Perfect. But afterwards, you know, you know, I hooked up with. And then, you know, sometimes they'll hit me up because they need money.

[D]

It's called prostitution.

[B]

No, like, you know, I can't pay my rent, this and that. Can you help? And I help them.

[C]

No, you don't.

[B]

Yeah, I do.

[D]

How much are we talking now?

[C]

Okay, so. Yeah.

[B]

Is that bad?

[F]

No, I don't think.

[D]

How much money?

[F]

I don't think that's good.

[D]

What's the most you've ever given one.

[F]

Of these people, Sam, is so.

[B]

A grand.

[D]

That's not awful.

[B]

That's not awful. It's.

[C]

Yeah, give me a grand.

[B]

No, no, no, no. But they. No, but the.

[E]

It.

[B]

It depends on what the text is or what the message.

[C]

So you'll say you'll. Straight up, you'll. A girl that you met that I.

[B]

Hooked up with maybe once or something.

[C]

And you will buy. You will. You will pay their rent.

[B]

Yeah, I feel like it's like, you know, I mean, it Was so disgusting hooking up with you that I think you owe me money.

[F]

What?

[B]

In my mind, that's what it is.

[D]

Yeah, but that's.

[C]

That's. That's your own fault.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

That's not good.

[C]

Yeah, Right.

[B]

That's me. Yeah.

[F]

They never say that.

[D]

I mean, it's true, but it's also intent. That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. Was the sex good?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, what. You know, can I be honest? I don't want to talk about sex because, you know, the last couple that we've done is a lot of sexuality.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

It's fine, though.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. But asexual. So.

[B]

Yeah. What'd you ask, then?

[D]

Was the sex with the woman who's demanding money from you good? Is the question when we spell it out? Probably not, I think.

[B]

Yeah, you can. I'm honest with you. I don't. I can't judge. Like, I've never seen. Like. Like, I'm doing a special. So now I'm looking back at sets that I do, but I've never had. Never done that before. I don't really reflect on. I have no, like, opinion about what my style is or how well I.

[D]

Did or sometimes, you know, I had one recently. I was like. I was bad.

[C]

That was.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[D]

It was really bad.

[B]

A bad.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

She was not happy. She said that. She said, I'm not happy.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

Really?

[D]

Yes. What happened was I met her at a bar and we. I brought her home, and she. I grabbed the condom, and she was like, what the fuck is that? And I was like, a condom? And she was like, you think I'm dirty? And I said, no, in my head, yes, obviously. So she's like, you don't get to me if you wear that. And I was like, whoa. I thought it was a strong argument, and I didn't wear one.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

I did not last long. And immediately she was like, call me a car.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah, I probably wouldn't have done. I probably would have turned it down.

[D]

Really?

[C]

I probably would.

[D]

I should have.

[C]

If you're gonna force me to not use a condom.

[B]

Yeah, I'm gonna live on it.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I can't live on the head like that.

[D]

The way. The way she forced me to not put it on, dude. I was like, this sucks. This unprotected sex.

[C]

No, you feel like you were a sinner.

[D]

And the worst part is, right after she said, well, I called her car. She goes, what's my name? And I was like, oh. We were both hammered, and I said, this is a true story. I said jasamon, not Jasmine. I said jasamon. And she goes, what kind of name is Jazamon? And I was like, what's your name? And she goes, janessa. And I was like, I wasn't even that far off. That's not fair. And then I said, what's my name? And she didn't know mine either.

[B]

Oh, what you should have done is incorporated the name into a drunk talk afterwards.

[D]

I should have.

[B]

So what's what's my name? You go, right? And she goes like, how do you.

[D]

Spell your name again? That's a good way. But then I called her car and I screenshot it to her and she texts me, me, not even an uber black, and wrote and this text got me.

[C]

She sounds like a bully, bro.

[B]

She's a bully.

[D]

But this text made me laugh. She wrote, comes in 10 seconds, then calls me a Toyota Camry. And I was like, that's pretty fun.

[B]

You gotta see Jasmine again, dude. I like her.

[D]

And that's how I met your mother, Jasmine.

[B]

This podcast is sponsored by Monarch.

[C]

Monarch. Monarch.

[B]

Feel organized and confident in your finances with Monarch Money, an all in one personal finance tool that brings your entire financial life together in one clean interface on your laptop or phone. And right now, just for our listeners, Monarch is offering 50% off your first year. Tell us more about Monarch because I like it.

[E]

I mean, to put it simply, if you're a dumb dumb about your money like you and me, you need Monarch. It's basically a one stop shop for all of your finances.

[B]

Exactly.

[E]

You don't need it keeps track of your spending. It keeps track. It's basically it's real control over your money.

[B]

It's also what I love. If it's named best budgeting app of 2025 by the Wall Street Journal. Forbes best app for couples named in CNBC's top fintech companies in the world.

[E]

Here's the thing with Monarch. You don't need to track every single dollar, right? But ignoring your finances entirely can cost you. And this is where Monarch can really help. If you're not on top of your money, you could be missing chances to save more. And Monarch helps you do that. It makes it helps you save more, invest smarter, and even hit your financial goals faster.

[B]

Go ahead, Gail.

[A]

Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code Tiger [e-mail] in your browser for half of your first year. That's 50 off your first [e-mail] with code TIGER Belly.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

That would make Me want to stay inside, bro.

[D]

Yeah, that was funny. I don't give a.

[B]

Let me. Okay, let me ask you this. Yeah. If you met a girl. Okay. You met a girl and you fly to Hawaii.

[D]

Okay. So you did this.

[B]

I did this. Yeah.

[C]

This is one of my favorite stories.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hypothetical.

[B]

Hypothetically, you met a girl, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You fly to Hawaii to see her. You. You fly together from LA to Hawaii. Right.

[D]

And how long into the relationship is this?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

You met her for, like, a couple weeks.

[F]

And then you're like, let's go to Hawaii.

[B]

And then. Yeah, you go to Hawaii.

[D]

You're bold, dude.

[B]

I know. I've done it.

[D]

You're bold.

[B]

And she goes, yeah, I'm not attracted to you in Hawaii. She said, in Hawaii? Yeah.

[D]

And you already had slept together?

[B]

No, just. Oh, no. Yeah, I have. I slept with her one time. And then when we're in the hotel room, she goes, this is the reason why I got on. We go, v. I mean, whatever the.

[D]

What is it?

[B]

The weight. The weight drug.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[B]

And she goes, I'm not attracted. I think you're fat.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

It was a Friday night.

[A]

She took the first class flight to Hawaii.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Her, dude.

[B]

And then on the way back, she wanted first class. Would you fly her back?

[D]

I would. You should sit in first class and you should put her in the last row.

[B]

Wow. That's what I did.

[D]

Did you really?

[B]

Well, she wanted first class, and I said, no, you get caught. Couch. Good for you.

[C]

There you go.

[B]

But what would you do?

[D]

What would I do?

[C]

How many days were you guys there after?

[B]

Two days. It was the worst two days of my life.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

And what.

[D]

What do you say after she says, I'm not attracted to you.

[B]

I. She went to sleep and I went to the balcony and I was like, should I jump off this? It was the. It was literally a consideration.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

I was so down.

[D]

Hurtful.

[B]

I was so down. I was having a cigarette on the balcony and we're pretty high up. I was gonna go. I just.

[A]

No.

[B]

Instantaneous. I could die.

[D]

No.

[B]

Then I thought, oh, well, Chelsea's on. Chelsea Handler's on Ozemping. Maybe I'll just do that.

[F]

Yeah, baby.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Chelsea looks great.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And then I thought. And then the next way I was injecting, and then I lost the weight the next day. Maybe this girl saved my life.

[C]

Send her a picture and be like, what now?

[B]

No, I don't.

[C]

No, don't do that. No, no, you don't want to do that.

[D]

I don't like that she went on this vacation.

[B]

That's happened to me twice in my life.

[D]

Both in Hawaii.

[B]

Yes. Why?

[C]

Oh, I got an idea.

[D]

Take her to like Tacoma or something. Know that you're like when you don't.

[B]

Get a good job. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Waco. Because I've always wanted to see those. That grounds where that happened. Yeah, yeah. So a historian.

[D]

It's a very romantic getaway.

[B]

But no, I won't do that again. I know. Please. Yeah, no, because what I said.

[C]

Please.

[D]

Why are you going on vacation?

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Girls you barely know, though. That's. That's my question. Like.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

That's like a. A way.

[B]

Because there they had been women that already make doubt with or had via sex with.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And then they use the. You know, this is.

[C]

That's not an immediate Hawaii trip.

[D]

I agree.

[B]

Yeah, I was already going.

[F]

I've never been.

[D]

Oh, oh, so for a gig.

[B]

Yeah. Or. Yeah.

[F]

Oh, so they just tagged along.

[D]

I thought it was a straight of vacation.

[C]

He wasn't already going.

[B]

Yeah, for the. Yeah. Because one of them was the Tiger Belly show.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

All right.

[F]

Well, she's tagging along. That's different than an intentional vacation with someone else.

[D]

No, you still can't take a first class ticket from someone. That's not cool.

[B]

Yeah, I don't think so either.

[D]

I don't like it.

[B]

I don't like it either.

[D]

I. I hate it. Does it make you mad, Bobby?

[B]

Does it. It makes it so bad. But then I blocked. I blocked them immediately. Yeah.

[D]

You blocked her?

[B]

Oh, yeah, I block them.

[D]

Respect.

[B]

Don't text me again. You know.

[C]

Damn.

[B]

Yeah, I've been pretty good.

[C]

Did you block the person? You. You paid their rent? Did you block that person?

[B]

I didn't pay them. Oh yeah, they're electrical.

[D]

Did your accountant ever pull you aside? Like, what's happening? What are you doing?

[B]

Who am I counting?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Clash of clans.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what clash of clans is?

[D]

No.

[C]

You spend a lot of money on that.

[B]

I spent like $10,000. What is that? Yeah, it's like a mobile video game. And my account was like, you gotta stop, dude. This is also when I wasn't doing well. Yeah, he's like, you're. You know. Come on, man. We have a mortgage to pay.

[A]

SimCity.

[B]

Yes. That was another one.

[D]

You're building a fake house and not. What are you doing?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It got bad. So I don't do. I don't do in app purchasey games anymore.

[D]

Yeah, it's a wild.

[B]

It's Wild. Yeah. You've never spent money on. On a video game? No.

[C]

I'm 38, bro.

[D]

I don't really play video games. They're too addictive. I can't. I don't have the willpower to. I'll play, like, 2K with a friend or something, but that's it.

[B]

Yeah. I've been playing Cyberpunk 2077. I love it.

[D]

It looks fun.

[B]

Spending 10 hours a day, it's consumed my life.

[D]

It's too much.

[B]

It's a lot.

[D]

I don't like. I don't like the feeling of, like, doing that and then just. You're like, you're done. You're like, what the Did I just do?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

It's like a waste.

[B]

I don't. I don't think that.

[D]

Really?

[B]

No. I go, that was amazing. I. I was undetected in that area, and my sneak just went up. Right. Not one detection. I stuck. And it's some of these games, right? You see, there's like, 15, 20 people in a building, and you have to do the mission undetected. Right. So you have to time out when people go around to certain corners, and then you knock them out, and then you have to put them in, like, you know what I mean? Areas where people can't find them. And then when I do it perfectly, you know what I mean? I just go, I did it. And it feels good.

[C]

You're that invested?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

And you feel good about.

[B]

Yeah, I feel good about it. What do you mean? It's like accomplishing something or whatever.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

By the way, the girl from Hawaii is listening to this podcast. I made the right choice because when.

[B]

You do something special, that you'll get a puff. Right. And the actual Xbox will go. You. You accomplished an achievement. Yeah. I mean, you're the shadow now.

[D]

What do you like the hot game Shadows? I don't even know. Is, like, Call of Duty still a big one.

[B]

Yeah. I had to stop doing that because I screamed too much.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And, like, scream in madness. No, I just scream in my house, like, what the.

[C]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I scream in anger.

[B]

Yeah. In anger. Yeah. Yeah. I'll throw controllers. I can't play games like that anymore.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Where I get rageful. And also ones like. Remember that one? What was that one that I played where I. I mean, this one is your.

[A]

Your favorite?

[B]

Yeah, this one's my favorite.

[D]

What is this?

[B]

This is.

[C]

Is that Zelda or something?

[B]

No, this is Stardew Valley.

[A]

That's Bobby with the creator.

[B]

Yeah. That's me and the creator of the game, and I was showing him my. I should start by a new farm.

[C]

Bro, this is.

[D]

This is insane that people watch, like 20, 000 people watch people play video games. It's to me, actually.

[B]

You've never done that.

[C]

I'm guilty of that. I'm guilty.

[D]

You watch?

[C]

I watch people play more combat.

[B]

Yeah. It's fun.

[F]

Absolutely.

[C]

I like watching that.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't get it.

[B]

What do you mean? Like when you. Somebody has a skill set.

[F]

Yeah, I'm.

[C]

I'm. I guess.

[D]

I guess that's fair.

[B]

Do you watch slam dunk competitions? I'm sure you have.

[D]

Yeah, I have.

[F]

I do.

[B]

And when you see a slam. Let me finish. And Carl Lamone. I don't know Carl. I don't know. Car. Or a Spunky Johnson.

[D]

Right. Smokey Johnson.

[B]

Spunky or whatever. Will Chamberlain. There we go. Or some. Whoever's playing.

[C]

Carlone.

[B]

Right? Carlone. Any of these guys. The mailman. Is that what they call him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go. Yeah. Or Chambers from Phoenix Suns.

[D]

Tom Chambers.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

What a.

[D]

What a pull.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

He said Carl Leone.

[D]

Carl Lamone was wrong.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Anyway. And you see them doing a slam dunk, right. And you watch the way they do it and their moves. Yeah. And I'm sure you're the type of. That goes. Yeah, that was amazing. The arch and the pacing and the timing of it. You know what I mean? And we're sitting there going, why do you even watch that?

[F]

Wait, are you comparing you playing a video?

[B]

No, watching. No, watching somebody. You know?

[D]

I mean, you're comparing me watching a sport for like 30 minutes to you being like, I'm gonna waste 10 hours a day?

[B]

No, no, I wasn't. No, that's not what I was saying. I was equating it to watching people play.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Like watching people do a move. You know? I mean, you know, like in War Zone or something. Yeah. Holy. He just wiped out a whole team by himself. How do you do that? Is the same equivalent, I think, to somebody.

[D]

I don't think sports is the same, though, video games.

[B]

Why?

[D]

I just think it's harder to be a pro athlete, but I guess these gamers are making tons of money. Maybe I'm fucking wrong.

[B]

Sam, it's not. Yeah, Sam, it's not.

[C]

So, wait, being good at video games is hard is what you're saying?

[D]

Of course it's hard.

[B]

So hard work.

[D]

But it's not the same level of hard as, like.

[B]

It is.

[D]

So you think that Michael Jordan is the same level as like some.

[C]

Some gamer.

[F]

Well, no, because, I mean, that's cool.

[D]

As.

[B]

That was dope.

[D]

And that wasn't even like a highly rated.

[B]

Guess what? I would watch that, but I don't want anyone ridiculing me, you know? I mean, when I'm watching this. Look at the head bump.

[C]

Eric Gordon.

[B]

You see the head bump from Carl Nash? That was the name. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, look at that.

[D]

That's pretty cool.

[B]

Look at that guy. Look at aids.

[F]

That's. That's Magic Johnson.

[B]

Like a doctor. Aids.

[C]

But I love that.

[D]

He's like, man, I got to stop getting beef with people. He's like, oh, look, aids. AIDS guy over there.

[B]

That is.

[D]

That's that guy. I love Dominique Wilkins.

[B]

Dominique Wilkins is great. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, I. I equivalent.

[D]

Yeah, he's like, oh, that was.

[C]

How tall is Nate?

[D]

He's like five nine.

[C]

Five nine, Bro.

[G]

Bro.

[C]

Yeah, he's five nine.

[B]

Because some of these streamers, Sam. Are making athlete. Athlete money, but we don't.

[D]

Yeah, and I just said that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

It's crazy.

[F]

We don't know any of their names, though. That's the thing.

[C]

We know.

[F]

We know all these guys.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know their names either.

[C]

Yeah, we just listed all these guys.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

It's also like a more inspiring commercial to be like, I defied the odds. I'm Michael Jordan. I was cut from my JV team. It's not as exciting to see a guy who's like, I've been on my couch three years. Or I. Every day.

[C]

You know how hard I work to get this chair, bro.

[B]

All right, maybe you have a point. Yeah. You know, I mean, I was. But they're just very talented, some of them. That's all. My point.

[C]

I get it.

[D]

I like how your tone just changed.

[C]

What the hell was that?

[B]

Yeah. My point is, this is, you know.

[A]

I mean, they do.

[B]

They work really hard. I think it's dope and it's a skill set, you know? I mean, I don't want you to look down on it. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You got to put hours in for that for sure.

[B]

Right? You know?

[F]

Do you have a favorite one? Do you have a name that you. A person that you know?

[A]

Happy birthday to us because Confetti craze five hour energy shots are back, baby. All cake, no sugar. You can have your cake and sip it, too, minus any sugar. Guilt cake. A fire your day with a quick, easy, portable, tasty caffeine boost. The funfetti flavor is back on 5hourenergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shots today. Strawberry banana five hour energy shots are also delicious. It is one of our favorite flavors. It reminds me of like when you're in the mall during the 90s and you get those little smoothie samples of Strawberry Banana. It's like that with a tasty caffeine boost. The Funfetti flavor is back on FiveHouseEnergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shot today. Happy birthday to us. It's delicious. Get it. Hey everyone. As you know, Tiger Belly uses and loves Shopify. If you recently purchased our 10 year anniversary merch and you went to our website slept kingdom.com, just know that was all powered by Shopify. And if, if you're listening to this right now, know that 2026 is the year you launch your very own business with Shopify. 2026 is the year you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household names to first time business owners. Just getting started. And look, if you're really bad at writing copy, guess what? Shopify has built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit product photos. And you're probably wondering, hey, I don't know how to market, guess what? Marketing is built in to create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. And as you grow, Shopify grows with you, handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the same exact dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com tigerbelly go to shopify.com tigerbelly that shopify.com tigerbelly hear your first this new year with Shopify by your side.

[B]

Well, I did play what's Destiny with the number one destiny guy but I forgot his name. I had dinner with him too. I forgot his name. But you know when I hit dude, he was so, he was so arrogant.

[D]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. I mean he's so nice to me but the way he was sitting at dinner and his, you know actually I love this. His wife, his girlfriend was those beaut like you know, I mean like you know one of those like you know, you know how you go on a tick tock and they're.

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or they stroke. No. Yeah. We have A full blown stroke. No. Yeah, you know where they, you know, they do the facial expressions and, and they, you don't want to sound on.

[F]

Tick tock like us.

[B]

No, they go Tourette's. No, no, no, no. We're doing. No, just listen, let me just explain it, okay? You'll see a girl, she's, you know, very Comic Con. You know what I mean? Cosplay.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

They'll do the thing with the eyes.

[B]

And do facial expressions and different things, right?

[C]

Yeah, but it just doesn't look like that.

[B]

Okay, I know. I don't know how to do it. That's why if I didn't know how to do it, I'd be, I'd be doing it on tick tock. Okay, let me just finish this guy.

[C]

All right, go ahead.

[B]

This guy was sitting there, he's got one of, you know, his girl there and he's very, he's like. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[A]

Happy birthday to us. Because Confetti Craze five hour Energy Shots are back, baby. All cake, no sugar. You can have your cake and sip it too, minus any sugar. Guilt cake ify your day with a quick, easy, portable, tasty caffeine boost. The Funfetti flavor is back on 5hourenergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shots today. Strawberry banana five hour energy shots are also delicious. It is one of our favorite flavors. It reminds me of like when you're in the mall during the 90s and you get those little smoothie samples of strawberry banana. It's like that. With a tasty caffeine boost. The Funfetti flavor is back on 5hourenergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shot today. Happy birthday to us. It's delicious. Get it. Hey everyone. As you know, Tiger Belly uses and loves Shopify. If you recently purchased our 10 year anniversary merch and you went to our website, slept kingdom.com, just know that was all powered by Shopify. And if you're listening to this right now, know that 2026 is the year you launch your very own business with Shopify. 2026 is the year you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household names to first time business owners. Just getting started. And look, if you're really bad at writing copy, guess what? Shopify has built in AI tools that write product descriptions and headlines and help you edit product photos. And you're probably wondering, hey, I don't know how to market. Guess what? Marketing is built in to create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. And as you grow, Shopify grows with you. Handle more orders, expand to new markets, and do it all from the same exact dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com tigerbelly go to shopify.com tigerbelly that shopify.com tigerbelly hear your first this new year with Shopify by your side.

[B]

Like, stuff like this. No, it's not nothing.

[C]

Well, that's.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go.

[C]

That's what you were doing.

[D]

What is this supposed to do?

[B]

Yeah, like. Yeah, but do more of that. She's not doing it right. There's more. Pro one. Yeah.

[C]

Aren't they dressed like anime characters?

[B]

That's what I just said. Comic Con line.

[C]

No, you said Comic Con.

[A]

Anime.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cosplay.

[C]

Cosplay. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're talking about now.

[D]

No, it's.

[B]

So anyway, he was very like. I mean, I'm like. He acted as if. And he's a millionaire from it. From Destiny, right?

[D]

Yeah. And you're the people sucking him off. I mean, you're the one who's like, these guys are geniuses. You know, you're the one saying, he's.

[B]

Great, but he is great. And why can't as a human being acknowledge that other people have different name.

[C]

She wrote a cat. Cat.

[B]

I said Carl Lamone. Yeah. I mean, I apparently don't know other people.

[C]

Everybody in this room knew exactly what you're talking about.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Carl Leone is.

[B]

That's not him. Oh, that's Eric Griffin and me playing. Yeah. So I've done it.

[F]

Oh, you look black in that, actually.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Is that a black man?

[D]

Yeah. Why do you look like Steve Harvey? What the hell is happening?

[B]

This is back in the day. I don't know the.

[C]

Wait, wait, time out. How many times you dropped the embom in this chat, bro? How many times?

[B]

I didn't say the end bomb. I say other words. What, like the R word and the F word? Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So I get angry.

[D]

Respect.

[B]

Yeah. But did we win this?

[C]

And you don't say the N word at all.

[B]

Sure. Yeah. I've never said the N word ever in my public life. No. Yeah. Out in the open, bro. What?

[C]

It was before. We're about to do Bird's Pod and before this, I think this is like our first time, like sitting down together on a pod as guests. Together. We do birds cooking show or whatever. And before we record it, he goes, goes, don't you dare say that I called you any racial stuff on this pod, bro. Did you not do that?

[D]

Bobby's gonna get NDAs. Some dudes do it for sex. Bobby's like, you have to say that.

[B]

It's outrageous. It's unfathomable.

[C]

Grabbed my shirt. He grabbed my shirt. Bobby grabbed my. He reached up cuz he's short and he grabbed my shirt.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And said, don't you dare.

[B]

Yeah, because you know, because I knew that you would. You know what? From now on, I. You're not an ally. That's what this is the angle. Watch this. Yeah, yeah, check that. Yeah, you're not an ally. You know what I mean? I thought, you know, we were bros, right? And I thought that, you know, things.

[D]

That, you know, I thought you guys were N words.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You know, you.

[G]

My.

[C]

Right.

[D]

You know, he's taunting you outside.

[B]

Your penis.

[C]

I. Yeah, you have.

[D]

I think openers do that, right?

[C]

No, hey, that wasn't cuz I opened more.

[B]

No, that was because we're at a spa.

[D]

Oh, nice.

[B]

Yeah, so I just thought that. That, you know, we had a bond.

[C]

You know, we did have a bond, but I. I mean, I also did not want that at all.

[B]

What you doing?

[C]

High kick. Naked high kicks in front of me, bro.

[D]

The N word to sexual assault. What the hell's happening here?

[B]

Wow. Unbelievable. You.

[F]

I feel like you guys have a really deep history together.

[B]

I love this guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Beautiful.

[C]

Yeah, I love you too.

[F]

But would you ever call Bobby a slur?

[C]

Never in my life.

[B]

You never have. That's outrageous. Unfathomable.

[D]

I find it a little offensive that you've never once called him.

[C]

No. Yeah, I don't call. I don't call white people slurs. I don't call any.

[F]

What are our slurs?

[C]

Honky.

[F]

Oh, okay. That felt like. That was right at the.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

I mean, the Rolling Stones have Honky Tonk man.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't think they're putting up the same title with it.

[C]

I hate that. I hate that as. As a black community, that was the best we could come up with.

[D]

It is really a bummer.

[B]

There really isn't one there. It's not.

[C]

I know, right? That's all we have.

[B]

There's a restaurant called Cracker Barrel.

[C]

I know.

[D]

And they're. And they're in hot water.

[B]

Yeah, they are in hot water.

[F]

Are they really?

[D]

What's going on?

[B]

They're taking the cracker and the barrel away from the logo.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

What was wrong with it?

[B]

I don't. I think there's a new CEO. Is like, I think we should change.

[D]

Up, you know, Never a good idea.

[B]

I don't think it is.

[E]

But why?

[F]

Was it.

[C]

Was it for, like, a racist?

[B]

No, because I never went to Cracker Barrel and went, oh, there's the logo again.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not coming in. Just an old thought about it. Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Who gives a shit?

[B]

Yeah. So that dude.

[A]

This is the new one.

[B]

Oh, is he.

[F]

He's a racist guy. Is that.

[B]

No, he was just a white dude near a barrel. Yeah.

[D]

He just called his friend. The question one time.

[A]

What was it?

[D]

Got taken out of context.

[B]

What's in the barrel, dude? Yeah.

[C]

Also, I have said some Asian about you, bro.

[B]

Yeah, you have, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you say?

[F]

What'd you say?

[C]

Huh?

[B]

What'd you say?

[C]

I said, I love your eyes.

[B]

That's not. That's not bad.

[C]

Yeah, No, I said something about your eyes.

[B]

Yeah. Like if there was a restaurant called Chinky Bucket.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, and there was a chat.

[C]

That's my favorite restaurant. I love Chinky Bucket.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Wait, did I just say that? Cut that out.

[B]

You don't know. Keep that in.

[C]

No. Wow.

[B]

I said that so that you would say, and now I have something brilliant. We're gonna clip that out.

[D]

Slow mo.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Damn.

[D]

That was.

[F]

That was crazy.

[D]

That was good.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And you got it on camera.

[B]

I have it on camera, dude.

[A]

Wow.

[F]

That was like if you're playing a video game and, like, watching all the little parts.

[C]

Damn. He really did get me.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Hey, what's up, my.

[B]

Huh? Kind man. You're a kind man.

[D]

Yeah, that sounded worse in the end.

[B]

I'm preparing to noose. What a common. Let me get this all around your head. What a common.

[C]

First of all, your Southern accent sucks.

[D]

It was all right.

[B]

Thank you, man. It was.

[F]

Was scary, though. Your eyes kind of got a little bit smaller.

[C]

Yes. Eyes.

[D]

You.

[B]

I like it.

[C]

Yeah, get her, too. She said your eyes are smaller.

[B]

I love chicken. I love all that, man.

[F]

Yeah, you kind of.

[B]

Oh, that was weird.

[C]

Why you bring up chicken?

[B]

That was weird. Yeah. I should cut that out, too.

[C]

No, no, no.

[D]

God, no more cuts.

[B]

Yeah. Anyway, you know, go ahead.

[F]

I've had a question that I've been wanting to ask you. If Kim Cattrall wanted to have sex with you, now, would you do it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. Here's the thing. We'd have to have a talk first.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You need an apology before.

[B]

Well, I would just have to get it out and open. You know, I did a commercial with you this and that.

[D]

You know, I mean, you were mean. You hurt my feelings.

[B]

But in retrospect, dude.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

If I was her. Let's say I did a commercial now, and there was a young guy, you know, me coming in, and he didn't know how to do it, and I was sitting in the tub. I was getting cold. I might get mad, too.

[D]

Yeah. So now it's kind of coming around a little. Yeah.

[B]

But can I say this?

[D]

Sure.

[B]

At the end of the night, because have you ever done this where you see a comic, a young guy, and he went up, you call him the N word, and he's not that great, and you go, hey, man, keep doing it. Have you ever done that?

[D]

I mean, I don't know if I said, keep doing it.

[B]

Yeah. But I go, oh, yeah, good stuff, man. You never said that.

[C]

You know what? I Keep doing it.

[D]

I probably. I usually try not to compliment if I. I don't mean it. I'm sure. I'm sure I've done it by accident, but that's what I'm saying, by accident.

[B]

It just instinctually, you want to hurt.

[D]

Your feelings, you panic.

[B]

You panic. Right.

[D]

And you're thinking you should quit, and.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yourself. But in the moment, you're like, good stuff.

[B]

Yeah. I had a guy open for me, you know, recently, and he was a local guy in the town. Pretty funny. Two years in.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

He's like, yeah, I'm headlining now. Right. And in my mind, I'm like, no, just because you're doing an hour doesn't mean you're a headliner.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Can we at least agree with that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because I don't know what you're doing up there. Right. If. If headlining is time, then, yeah, you're doing it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Right. But I was like, oh, yeah, good for you. I didn't headline until I was like, 10, 15 years in. That's what I said.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

What did he say?

[B]

And he's like, yeah, but, you know, I'm.

[A]

I got it.

[B]

You know.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I have it.

[D]

And I was listening to this podcast, and a tear is streaming down. I guess I'm not a fucking headliner. No, because it.

[B]

No, because there are guys like, you know, Cam Patterson, for instance, he's new at it, and, you know, he. And he's very good.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's headlining and I. I can see how he can hold an audience for an hour and sure. He's so likable. He's an anomaly though. I think he's an anomaly.

[D]

You know, I thought you're gonna say another word.

[C]

I know, right?

[B]

And we learned a new word to the other fan of them, Dude.

[D]

Bill and Bobby is my favorite.

[B]

Yeah, I'm diabolic, dude.

[C]

In front of these whites, bro.

[B]

The whites are good. The whites are good and they've gotten a bad rap.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

Now if there. Would you ever join that white community in the Ozarks?

[D]

No, I'm not, I'm not a midwesty.

[B]

Guy, but you know about the white community.

[D]

Is it like a supremacy type?

[B]

No, no. A bunch of white.

[D]

I'm a Jew. They don't want a bunch of white.

[B]

People went to the Ozarks and go, you know what? We are going to create an all. All whites only town.

[F]

Is it a gated community?

[B]

It's not gated. I think there's boundaries though.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

So I was thinking about doing a Korean town next to them, like buying the property next to theirs. But all Korean white's only community plotting expansion to another state as its efforts to build a white nation continues.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

It's crazy.

[D]

In the Ozark, it's already pretty white.

[B]

In pretty white.

[D]

I don't know if you've been there like to that area, but it's like it's hard to find any other race. Any other race there.

[B]

Yeah, but that guy, he's the leader.

[C]

He's the leader.

[B]

He's cute.

[C]

He's cute.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he's cute. You think he's cute for a white supremacist as white.

[C]

Did that. White town, bro.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's the leader.

[F]

So what happens if there's a person of color that comes into the community?

[B]

I think they shoot him. Really? I don't know.

[C]

They didn't say that.

[B]

I don't think they do. What do they do? Excuse me. What would you say you, you and I had a whites only community and I rolled up and you roll up. I would go, excuse me, young man, you're not welcome.

[A]

Can I see your membership card?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You're trespassing. I would say that at first and then if you go, what's. What would you say after that?

[C]

As you said, I'm trespassing.

[B]

Yeah, you're.

[C]

I'm gonna say I don't see any.

[F]

Signs, but how about there's. There's probably a big sign.

[B]

Yeah. And I'd have. You don't see that swastika.

[C]

They didn't say they were swastika. Swastikas, though.

[B]

Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, well, there is a sign because we just bought the property. But anyway, I'm just telling you as a courtesy, you know, I mean, that you are in our property. And if you. If you don't mind, could. Could you please leave?

[C]

And I'm like, you got to fight me first.

[B]

Ooh. Then 12 hours later, you're a nice man, you mean? And you're tied up and I have a noose around your neck, and I.

[D]

Have to come out like, Bobby, you.

[C]

Think you would beat my ass?

[B]

Yeah, you're right. Let's not even talk about this. Yeah, it's very uncomfortable. I don't know how.

[D]

Also how shitty a whites only community has you in it. It's really upset. We're trying to build something here, Bobby.

[B]

No, because if. If you look at. If you look at a lot of these groups, the list of, like, priority, sometimes Asians aren't even on the list. You know what I mean? So it's like, it goes.

[C]

And I hate that.

[B]

Why?

[C]

Because I wish you guys were.

[B]

No, we're. We're the model minority.

[C]

I love. I love you guys.

[F]

The list.

[B]

What list is when, like, white supremacist groups, like, you know, these are one of the ones we hate the most, and they go down the line and.

[F]

You guys are on the bottom.

[B]

Sometimes we're not even on it.

[C]

Oh, that's what you were saying. My bad.

[B]

Yeah. I don't feel left. Yeah, I do kind of. Actually. I would love to be on the list. But also, it's like, I don't like the fact that we're model minorities. I'm like, oh, they're all right. You know what I mean? I kind of want to be cool.

[F]

Oh, not and be hated. Okay.

[C]

You want to be hated? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Because it's like, you know, Asians, I. We're like, we want to ask. We want to assimilate, and we don't want to cause any waves. It's that kind of mentality, you know, which is ironic because the.

[C]

You guys are always quiet, too.

[B]

Yeah. But the most violence, violent gangs in America are Asian gang gangs.

[C]

The most.

[B]

I get the Cambodian gangs. Yeah, they're violent as bro.

[D]

Yeah, they're scary. They're up there. Yeah, the Albanians are pretty scary.

[B]

They're pretty scary, too. Yeah.

[F]

Like, what are they doing?

[D]

I mean, they're tough, I think.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

They say that, like, Latino games are gangs. Are Revenge, like you with my cousin this and that. Right. Kind of islands.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, kind people. Gangs, you know what I mean, are. Are territorial. Like, what you doing in our, you know, area. Right. Yeah, but they see that a lot of Asian gangs, their violence, there's no rhyme or reason.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's kind of like today your birthday. Yeah. You know that kind of.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

There's no.

[D]

Like, I don't know why they ask about the birthday. Just stabbed them.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

They're just like, it wasn't even my birthday.

[C]

What the hell?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. So it's like that. Like, just no wrong reason for violence. Yeah, yeah. But the Asian boys, well, that's because.

[F]

They have tiny rats. Rascal gang. That feels like a really.

[B]

I think that looks dope. That sounds dope.

[F]

Rascal and your gang watching.

[B]

I like watching. Yeah.

[F]

Black Dragons. That's fun.

[B]

I think it would be part of the Asian boys or maybe Black Dragons. I don't know.

[F]

Vietnamese.

[C]

Black Dragons. So hard, bro.

[F]

Yeah, Vietnamese and Latino.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

That's interesting combo.

[D]

Good food in that group.

[B]

Yes.

[G]

But everything.

[D]

Right. Some fuss. General. It's a nice. It's a nice, nice Sunday platter. You get a platter out, a really good meal.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless seasoning. But, you know, if I was in the Black Dragons, I was like, we're not mixing it. So we. Mondays is like, Chinese night. I don't want, like, you know, a fusion kind of vibe. Like, refried beans with faux. I don't want. Yeah, yeah. So it's like, you know, so Wednesday. Tuesday's got to be Taco Tuesdays.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

So, you know, as a gang member, I'll be like, Tuesday's Taco Tuesday. Wednesdays are Vietnamese, you know, that kind of thing.

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Switch back and forth. You know what I mean? But if you were in prison, you would have to choose your group, I think.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Survivalist. Would you go the Aryan Nation?

[D]

I don't think they take me, dude. I think you know why? Because I'm a Jew.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

I would even be. I'd be like, you're not gonna take me.

[C]

I need.

[D]

I need some protection.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Terrible.

[D]

No, what you got to do as a Jew is you got to pull the white collar crimes because then everyone in prison likes you.

[B]

Oh, like.

[D]

Like, Bernie Madoff was such a piece of. But everyone's like, oh, but he knows how to get money from people, so they, like, worship them.

[B]

Oh, so you're going to Shashak Redemption. It Shash. I think I'll get your taxes and you know, you're going through a divorce. I'll do all the paperwork.

[D]

I think that's true.

[B]

Yeah. You would do. Yeah. Are you good with numbers and stuff?

[G]

No.

[D]

Yeah, I'm a comedian.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[D]

What, are you good with numbers?

[B]

No. Yeah. No, but I would have to. If there was an Asian group, I would join them. But if there wasn't one in prison. You know what, dude, I'll be honest. And this is not even a joke. Right.

[C]

You hate with the black.

[B]

No, I'm the town whore.

[F]

You're the bottom.

[C]

You just immediately go to town hall.

[B]

Yeah. Because it's like you're asshole getting numb.

[C]

So they're like, bobby lee, you got 15 years in prison.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

I don't think asshole just gets numb like that.

[B]

But you know what I would do is I would go, you know, anyone. Can people wear a condom?

[F]

They're not gonna do that.

[B]

No, I would. That. You know how people smuggle things? You know what I mean? I would smuggle just condoms.

[D]

This is. No, this is so sad.

[B]

No, it's not.

[D]

You pictured this.

[B]

Think about.

[D]

You're just picturing dudes. You all the time.

[B]

Yeah, but think about it like, I.

[D]

Know I would be the same, but in my mind, I'm like, no, I get fucking big, dude. I get tough. I do pull ups. I'm like, yeah, I'll find my way. But you're just. You're jumping a town bicycle.

[B]

I'm factoring my size.

[F]

A town bicycle, my size.

[C]

But you also can wrestle.

[B]

Wrestle. You know, I can't wrestle.

[C]

Remember?

[D]

How about what happened to those kicks in the steam room?

[B]

I thought, remember in Shaw Shaked in Redemption, when Tim Robinson. Andy Dufresne. Sorry, yeah. Was in that shower film.

[D]

Tim Robinson. It's a very different movie.

[B]

What's his name, the actor?

[D]

Tim Robbins.

[B]

Tim Robbins, yeah.

[F]

Robinson's the guru guy, right?

[B]

All right.

[D]

No, that's Tony Robinson. Tim Robinson is. I think you should leave.

[B]

Oh, right, right. And then remember Andy from fr? There was those guys in the shower and they, you know, did stuff to him.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

If there's two or three guys, I. I don't want to get beat up too. You know what I mean?

[F]

You probably.

[B]

I would just be like, I'll pull out a condom and I go, three condoms, right.

[D]

You learn what their fetishes are. You make them come quickly.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I also do. I would separate the condoms in threes.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Here you go, Joe. Here you go, Samuel. Here you go, Devontra. You know what I mean? It's gotta be one. I don't want to exclude anybody.

[F]

Yeah, he's a white guy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

And then United nations getting raped here.

[C]

Yeah, right?

[B]

And I would say, one at a time, form a line or do sticks. I don't know how.

[F]

You guys gotta respect your wishes. One at a time, form a line.

[C]

He's picturing.

[D]

It's such an organized rape.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. No, it's not a rape if I say yes.

[D]

That's true.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. So it's an organ. I go. There's no violence. Don't touch my hair. Do not touch my hair. You know what I mean? And don't come on my back, bro.

[C]

This is wild.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Not now.

[B]

And I would do it so good that it would just get around. Like, it's very polite, you know what I mean?

[F]

You've thought about this?

[B]

Yeah, I thought about it.

[C]

Bobby just joined the Asian gang.

[B]

Maybe I'll do that. Yeah, maybe I'll do that. Yeah.

[C]

I can't hear this anymore.

[D]

Yeah, you're telling the Asian game, like, yeah, you can be in this. Why are you talking?

[B]

Three years you've been horn yourself out.

[D]

I'll. You. You can me like. No, no, no, we got you. It's fine. It's cool.

[B]

You're.

[D]

You're in. You're in. Chill out.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, you're in the Black Dragons. Your initiation.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

What gang would you be in? Chappelle.

[C]

Was it the black gorilla family, something like that? It's a real thing. My dad.

[B]

My.

[C]

My dad's locked up.

[B]

I think you just made that up. Is your dad really, like black gorilla family?

[D]

What. What did your dad do?

[C]

What he do? Yeah, I mean, he did some stuff.

[B]

Yeah, well, I know. Wait, your dad.

[C]

I'll show you a picture of my dad.

[B]

Your. His dad looks hard.

[C]

I'll text it to you.

[B]

His dad looks hard.

[F]

Does he have face tattoos?

[C]

No, he don't have face tattoos.

[B]

Like Delroy Lindo. Like Delroy Lindo?

[C]

Like Delroy Lindo, you know, I mean.

[B]

Just, you know, like, hard. Like why people use an actor?

[D]

Is that like a thespian? That's what he looks like, man. This guy looks hard. Like Don Cheadle. You should see this dude. He's. Dude, he's scary.

[C]

It's. Yeah, yeah, I sent it on. That's not my dad.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

I'm just putting the gorilla.

[B]

Oh, that's the gorilla.

[D]

Oh, gorilla with the G. Yeah, you racist. Jesus.

[A]

What did you think?

[F]

Wait, what's the difference?

[B]

I thought. That's what I thought. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

This is my dad when he. Oh, God.

[F]

Can you be a little bit white and be in the black gorilla Family?

[E]

Family.

[B]

You can be half. That's his dad.

[D]

Holy.

[B]

Holy. Dude.

[C]

Yeah, we look alike.

[B]

Yeah, it's a little blurry.

[D]

Yeah. It says a lot of anybody your relationship that this is the only photo you got.

[C]

I have another photo.

[B]

Well, he's still in prison, right?

[C]

Yeah, he's still there.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

That kind of looks like a Monet. Like a painting, right?

[B]

It is a pretty cute.

[F]

Yeah, that's kind of a beautiful.

[B]

Yeah, but how tall is he?

[C]

I'm taller than him. He's like five, nine.

[F]

Oh, what's he holding?

[D]

But he's a tough.

[C]

No, that's like a pose. Like just. Is he a tough guy?

[B]

Yeah, he's pretty hard.

[C]

Yeah. That was for. That was for attempted murder.

[D]

Wow.

[F]

That was the post.

[D]

How long did.

[C]

He told me he didn't know him well. No, I didn't know. I had a dad talk.

[B]

Was. Was he disappointed when you were cheerleading? He's in prison.

[A]

Yeah, man.

[B]

My son's a cheerleader dog.

[F]

That. That's a little Latino at the end.

[A]

Sorry, sorry.

[C]

I texted you another one.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[C]

This is him now, but yeah, that was. That was in the 90s, bro.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

He was.

[D]

I can't even tell what kind of outfit he's wearing.

[F]

Looks like a server almost.

[B]

So what happened with. What happened with Chappelle Sam was. Is that like, you know his dad went to prison, right?

[C]

So, you know, like right now.

[B]

There he is right now. Oh, wow. He's a prophet. Wow. Yeah. And so what happened was he was adopt. Like in those movies. He was adopted into like an all white family.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah. I mean like a Christian family. So show some of those photos with.

[C]

You and why you got to do.

[B]

Yeah, I want to say. I want to show. This is a movie we could write.

[F]

This is your dad in prison now? Yeah, it looks awesome.

[C]

This is.

[D]

This is Oscar bait.

[B]

This is an Oscar bait movie.

[D]

This has got. This has got big movie all over.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So. And. And you turn a comic trying to see. That's amazing. This is so. This. I don't know why that's so funny to me.

[A]

Why'd you laugh?

[B]

I don't know why. It's a family photo. Insane looking.

[C]

That's me and my sisters, bro. Don't be with.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

So that's you close with your sisters?

[B]

Oh, yeah, they're very close. That's Adorable. Is that adorable?

[C]

I just sent you the F. Yeah.

[B]

So there it is. So that's. That's. That's what happened. Happened. That's a movie, dude.

[D]

Sandra is your dad. Andrew Cuomo. What the hell is that?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Who are we gonna cast? We gotta get Sandra Bullock in there. He's in all of those.

[D]

Yeah, Sudeikis.

[B]

Jason Sudeikis. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Heartwarming.

[B]

Yeah. And who's gonna play Chappelle?

[C]

Who's a. Denzel.

[B]

No. As a kid.

[C]

Oh, sorry.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, as a kid. I don't know.

[C]

Who's the guy in F1? Oh, Idris.

[B]

He's too old.

[F]

Old Brad Pitt.

[B]

Yeah. We don't know. I don't know any younger. Yeah. Anyway.

[C]

Are you talking about, like, young young?

[B]

Well, who's gonna play you in high school?

[A]

Jaden Smith.

[D]

Got it. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That's unbelievable.

[C]

Yeah. That's.

[B]

What a story that you have.

[D]

But the Hollywood story. You got to be gay. I mean, they got a game. I know. Yeah. You want to win an Oscar? He's a cheerleader, but he's also like, dudes on the side. Yeah, this is.

[F]

This is.

[D]

Then you meet your dad and he's like, no son of mine is going to be gay. And you're like. You're in prison, you piece of. Yeah, you.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And then it's like that emotional arc. We're green.

[B]

Yeah, we're green like this. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

And the dad's gay the whole time.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

And then who.

[C]

And then.

[B]

What's this?

[C]

That's my. That's my mom and dad. That was the first family picture we ever.

[D]

Wait, wait, you're close with your dad now, though?

[C]

Yeah, we're not. We're not close because he's locked.

[B]

Well, that's your mom and dad. He got locked up again.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, this be out soon.

[B]

This is when he was free.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then he went back.

[C]

Why I say it like that, bro?

[B]

Give me another word you can use aside from free.

[C]

We've been free for a minute.

[B]

I mean, not. Yeah, I know. In your soul you're free. Free. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm just physically free is what I'm saying. Oh, my God. I don't know about this. Yeah, yeah.

[F]

Let's cut this.

[B]

What an amazing. What an amazing story, though, Chappelle.

[D]

Really amazing.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Your mom looks great.

[F]

Your dad looks kind of all right.

[D]

Keep it in your pants, Bobby.

[C]

Yeah. That was my first time headlining Tim v. Improv. And they both came and that was. That was the first time I ever got a picture with both of my parents.

[B]

Were they. Did you kill that last night?

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Did your.

[B]

No, because I. Sometimes you invite your folks out. I've done that.

[C]

Where? Oh, you just bomb.

[B]

Not bomb, but it was like, not as good as you wanted it.

[D]

I like that your dad's wearing a USA hat too. He still got faith in the system.

[F]

Was it a blue light?

[C]

Well, it's so funny, whenever I ask about the cops, he goes, well, I was doing a lot of. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Like.

[C]

Like how you feel about cops. He was like, well, they got me.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Are you. Are you happy the way it turned out? Like you're happy with the family that raised you? You.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I'm cool with everybody. I'm cool with everybody. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, there's no. I mean, you. You had a completely different. I think the reason why you are special. Okay.

[C]

I know why he's doing this. Cuz he feels bad about what he said earlier.

[B]

No, I'm.

[F]

I don't think he feels bad, honestly.

[D]

No, but.

[F]

He feels pretty good.

[A]

He feels great.

[B]

Great.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Feel liberated story though. Dude, I like this.

[B]

I think because. Does. Because you skateboard. What? Which is kind of a white thing.

[C]

Back then it was.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Number two, you're into like. He's in a punk band. You know that, right? No, like a hardcore band. Oh, wow. Yeah. And these are like. And the kind of. Because you and I share similar musical tastes.

[C]

We do.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You have the nature versus nurture debate. I. I didn't meet my biological father till I was like, you know, 19 or 20.

[C]

Oh. Yeah.

[D]

And I think I would have had a very different life if he was in it.

[C]

Yeah. Look at that. I mean, if that dad raised me.

[B]

That's what. That's what I meant.

[C]

Oh, that's what I meant.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm like, Pat. Pat. That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

He would have been Pat Patted.

[D]

This is like a great sliding doors thing. But instead of instead. So in one story he's opening for Bobby, and another story he carjacks and just murders Bobby. That's a.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

LA Riots, bro.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, oh.

[F]

Why? Cuz he's in a liquor store kind of thing.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have been on a rooftop with my Korean friends. I was shooting you.

[D]

And I would have been defending you.

[B]

Thought you by. Yeah.

[C]

He always thinks black people just walk in and like, just look at.

[B]

That's. No, no, that's what I said.

[C]

That's what you Said. You said it last.

[B]

Oh, my God, dude, you're going to be so mad. What you say then Let me just say something. This. Okay.

[F]

Oh, gosh.

[B]

I didn't Roof career. I was. I'm definitely.

[F]

That's the other gang.

[B]

Roof Kore. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, because I know a lot of kids that were like, their dads were the roof Koreans, you know, I talked to them about.

[C]

Oh, really? Yeah. It's.

[B]

Here's. Here's. Here's what I don't like. Okay. And I'm gonna tell. I'm gonna give you. Look at that. Wow.

[F]

Look at the 90s. I love it.

[B]

Oh, look at y'. All.

[F]

It looks like Steve Jobs.

[B]

Amazing.

[C]

While holding guns.

[D]

This is like a poster for, like, the Asian version of Heat.

[B]

He, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So here. The riots, for instance.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Many people think that Rodney King was the catalyst for the riots, but it happened a couple years before that, where that young, kind girl, you know what I mean, walked in that liquor store. Do you remember? And that Korean liquor store lady, that queen. That queen Kevin's, like, get me out of here. Sorry. That old Korean lady, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Shot her in the back of the head, Right. And then that Korean lady got off. A jury acquitted her.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. And then there was. And you. I'm on the side of the black. I mean, the kind lady and the kind people. You know what I mean? I. I thought what that lady did that feel like?

[D]

Also, it's weird, but I feel like. Think people shouldn't get shot in the back of the head?

[B]

No, but what I'm saying is I've never liked the way Koreans treated, you know, I mean, kind people in their liquor stores.

[C]

We're cool now.

[B]

Like, you touch you by no browsing, no people eyebrows. I touch, I buy, I touch. And I know by. You know, I'll pick up a Kit Kat, right? And go, nah, I'm gonna find the.

[C]

Clip where he literally said, people go in and just look at. And you don't buy nothing. I'm gonna find that clip, bro.

[B]

I said that out loud.

[C]

You think?

[A]

Can you check me?

[B]

As a joke, baby.

[C]

As a joke.

[B]

Anyway. What a party. We touched upon so many different things.

[D]

Yeah, dude, right?

[B]

That was fun today.

[D]

This was fun.

[B]

Wasn't it fun?

[D]

Good time.

[B]

It was so fun. I forgot even how long we did. We got a Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime.

[A]

We got an Amazon prime.

[B]

Season one. What's season one?

[D]

I don't know why they did that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But your special's on Amazon Prime.

[D]

My last one is yeah.

[B]

Your last one is.

[F]

It's so good.

[B]

Yeah, thank you. It's called. You're in. What? You.

[D]

You've changed.

[B]

You've changed.

[C]

You're on Punch up as well.

[D]

I got the hp.

[C]

It's great. Punch up's great.

[D]

It's great.

[C]

Love those guys.

[B]

And where did you. Where did you film that?

[D]

Where? When?

[B]

Where?

[D]

The Wilbur in Boston. Great spot.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. How many shows did you do?

[D]

I did four. Four.

[B]

I'm gonna do four for mine.

[D]

Where are you filming?

[B]

San Diego.

[D]

Balboa.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I love that.

[B]

I just did.

[D]

I love the Balboa.

[B]

Yeah, I'm gonna do Balboa.

[D]

San Diego is so underrated for comedy, dude.

[B]

You know, it's the best one of the. It's one of the greatest. Greatest audience.

[D]

I love it.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. I love San Diego.

[B]

So you have some dates coming up? We've got.

[D]

Yeah. Oklahoma City this weekend. It's. When did this come out?

[C]

Probably a couple weeks. We'll see.

[D]

All right, so just go to. Yeah, go to Vegas. The Venetian in Vegas. Venetians Club in Rochester, New York.

[B]

Yep.

[D]

Chicago theater. October 4th. That's a good one. Winnipeg.

[C]

Oh, Saudi Arabia.

[D]

Maybe I'll see you there.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, we're going to be there. No, we're going to be in the September.

[D]

Okay. Barcelona, Milan, Dublin, Liverpool, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin.

[B]

Are you nervous about Saudi Arabia or.

[D]

No, no, it'll be great. I'm a Jew. They love us over there. Going back to. I've already been to Wise Guys in Salt Lake. I love it. Back and then. Yeah. Then Reno and then Carnegie. Carnegie hall in. In New York.

[B]

December 4th. Carnegie. Great. How many seats is Carnegie?

[D]

I think like 3, 500.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. It's good.

[B]

Amazing.

[D]

It's great times, man.

[B]

So Sam Morrell, what a. He's still growing. You're doing a movie right now?

[D]

I'm making one.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You have to call you up.

[B]

Yeah. You're. You're rising.

[D]

You're rising.

[B]

No. Yeah. I'm falling. I'm falling. And then one of my favorite.

[D]

That's because of your personal stuff. Your comedy's still rising. Great comedian.

[B]

We might. We might be drunk is one of my favorite pods. I love doing it.

[D]

Oh, my God, guy, you.

[B]

How many times have I done it? Maybe once.

[D]

I think just once.

[B]

I got to do it again.

[F]

I love doing it. How many times have I done it?

[D]

You're the best.

[B]

Yeah. And then. Yeah. Yeah. Find Cat and.

[D]

Holy. You got 1.1 million views on that episode.

[B]

Is that good?

[D]

Yeah, it's Great.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I want to see.

[D]

But look how much fatter you were there. You look amazing.

[B]

I know, right?

[C]

Yeah, you look great.

[B]

That's crazy. I've lost.

[C]

Skin is glowing, bro.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[D]

You look. You look handsome, man. I think you could pull a British socialite. You deserve it. I want you to believe in you. You're fucking good, man.

[F]

You got it.

[D]

You're a catch.

[C]

Thank you, man.

[B]

You are.

[D]

If you stop playing cyberpunk, I'll fucking.

[B]

We got Catbird. Check out our social. She's Rising, too. Let me ask you something. When you opened for Theo, how many seats was it?

[F]

We did 3,000, and then we did the 20,000 at the Honda Center.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And it was your first 20,000, right?

[F]

Yeah. And I have a bone to pick with you about that.

[B]

Okay, go.

[F]

Okay. Because before I did the Honda Center, I was like, bobby, I'm really nervous. I've never done that amount of people. And you're like, well, you can do 3,000. You can do 20,000. And I just want to let you know that that's a lie, because it's very different.

[B]

Okay, what's different about it?

[F]

Well, first of all, there's nosebleeds, and second of all, there's like a big jumbotrons and acoustics, and it was scary.

[B]

But you can I. Because I've done big places like that before. Not by myself. Just, you know, know. You know, group of guys kind of a thing.

[D]

You're killing it.

[B]

You did 10,000 anyway. Yeah. So. But you. When you're looking out in the audience, I don't, in my mind, think there's 20, 000 people.

[F]

I felt like the lights were on because I saw every single person.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

How do you get done big things like that? Right?

[D]

Yeah, but as an opener.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

I just did a couple dates with Shane, and, you know, it's like. Yeah, it's like 18,000 people.

[B]

And.

[D]

And, yeah, you just have to take into account, like, for your people, it's way easier for your audience. And then also, you know, if a crowd. If you. If you're drawing that big a crowd, they're not all comedy people. A lot of those people, it's their first night at a comedy show, so it's not like, you know, usually when it's your people in a smaller venue, they know what they're in for.

[B]

Right. You know, I prefer that.

[D]

So you got. Yeah. I mean, you play the hits A little more. You do a little safer of a set for 20,000.

[B]

Yeah, but did you do one?

[F]

Well, I think I did okay. I think I did like a.

[B]

So you're opening. Was there a comic before you?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so how much time did the comic before you do? 10 and then you. It was you.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, me.

[D]

And where was the Honda center in Anaheim. Oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah. Cool. Yeah.

[F]

But when.

[B]

How much time did you do?

[F]

10.

[B]

I. Oh, just 10.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, it was. It was cool, but I was nervous about it and the. It was just the acoustics, like I couldn't hear my punches lines. It was really weird.

[B]

It's your first time, Cat.

[F]

Yeah, thanks.

[C]

But watch when you do it again, you'll. You'll.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You'll feel better.

[B]

Yeah, thanks.

[C]

That's weird. She got 10, I only got seven.

[F]

But you got kissed from that. I didn't get to make out.

[C]

All right, fair enough. Fair. All right, fair enough.

[B]

Interesting.

[C]

Sorry.

[D]

I like this tension between you. It's very uncomfortable. In a good way.

[B]

Very interesting. It's good.

[D]

It's like a good uncomfortable.

[C]

Some people think we really be fighting, though.

[D]

No, I think.

[C]

Oh, so you guys are showing my tour dates?

[B]

Yeah. He's going to do the Belly Room. Let's see, what do we got here? The lounge at Hilarities. Doing the lounge at. It's a 60 seater cafe. What else?

[D]

Comedy Connection in Providence. I love that one. It's classic.

[C]

Dude, I'm excited for that one.

[B]

Yeah. So get your comp tickets [e-mail]. it's free, so you don't have that. Just show up. Yeah.

[A]

Cat, you're going to be on Chappelle's show, right?

[F]

Oh, yeah. I'm going to be on your podcast on Wednesday.

[C]

Hell yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. So amazing.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So anyway, give Sam and everyone a round of applause. I'll see you.

[G]

Ever feel like planning a trip is almost as fun as taking it? Hotel comparisons, restaurant reservations, a perfectly timed itinerary. What if your love of planning travel could actually become a source of income as a Fora Advisor, it can. Fora is a modern travel agency built for people who love to plan travel and help others travel well. With best in class training, powerful booking tech, and a vibrant global community of experts sharing real insider knowledge, you can confidently build your own travel business on your terms from anywhere. Every hotel, cruise and experience you book earns you commission. And with access to more than 7,000 preferred travel partners, from iconic brands to boutique gems, you'll unlock VIP perks like upgrades, resort credits, and late checkout, the kind of elevated travel experiences most travelers never get. Now's the time to turn your passion for travel into a fulfilling business with Fora. Become a fora advisor today at foratravel. Com Advisor. That's f o r a travel com advisor.