Simon Helberg & The Hannibal Lector Advice

Summary

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TigerBelly Podcast
Episode: "Simon Helberg & The Hannibal Lecter Advice"
Release Date: April 29, 2026
Host: Bobby Lee
Co-hosts: Kalila (Khalyla), Guest Comedian ("Kat")
Guest: Simon Helberg

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Episode Overview

This energetic and freewheeling TigerBelly episode features actor and comedian Simon Helberg (The Big Bang Theory) in a playful, meandering conversation with Bobby Lee, Kalila, and comic friend Kat. Among riffs on showbiz, the meaning of success, body quirks, music taste, and the peculiarities of modern life, the cast weaves together nostalgia, wit, candid advice, and hilariously awkward moments. Helberg also plugs his AMC show "The Audacity," sparking deeper chats around AI, therapy bots, and fleeting fame. The group dives into comedy’s loneliness, relationships, and what it means to “covet”—Silence of the Lambs-style—making this an episode packed with wisdom, laughs, and surprise vulnerability.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Insights

1. Headphones, Cans, and Comic Banter

[01:56 – 03:23]

• The group jokes about whether to use "cans" (headphones), riffing on double meanings (audio gear, breasts, body parts, music festivals).
• Simon and Kalila’s misunderstanding about "cans" leads to an extended bit on body parts and festival names, with Kalila playfully self-censoring.

Memorable quote:

“Can you cut that out?” – Simon Helberg [03:01]

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2. The Science (and Comedy) of Water Content

[03:35 – 05:33]

• The crew gets sidetracked wondering about how much water humans (and Earth) contain, tossing out quasi-scientific facts and jokes.
• They poke fun at infographics representing humans as celebrities (Danny DeVito as an infant!).
• Quick, deadpan energy; everyone gets a laugh at the surreal imagery.

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3. MADtv Memories: Friendship, Struggles, & Growth

[07:17 – 12:19]

• Simon and Bobby reminisce about their early 2000s days on MADtv. The set was a “miserable, scorched earth” but their friendship became a rare “blessing.” Bobby and Kalila talk about their divergent career paths.

• Deep mutual gratitude—Simon credits Bobby's kindness and generosity for getting him through rough times:

  “The blessing part of it actually, for me, seriously, was having you there because you were so… so incredibly kind to me.” – Simon Helberg [08:09]

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4. Coachella, Drugs, and Generational Pop

[12:30 – 18:01, 21:36 – 27:32]

• The group swaps Coachella and concert war stories, arguing about who was really there.
• Bobby recounts a legendary backstage moment: Drew Barrymore complaining about “a bowl of drugs” in his dressing room.
• They riff on generational differences in music fandom (Madonna, The Strokes, Sabrina Carpenter, Charli XCX).
• Simon describes seeing a man in full feather attire and someone in a hippo mask—“It wasn’t a bird, you saw a crow!” [25:31]—and muses on music festival absurdities.

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5. Big Noses, Looks, and Being “Castable”

[63:02 – 68:42]

• A surprisingly deep conversation on ethnic features, Hollywood types, and self-image.

• Bobby, Kalila, and Simon talk about how "big noses" are often stigmatized for women but have become more accepted and even “attractive” for men and, increasingly, for women.

• "Castability" gets dissected—what makes someone "work" for TV.

  “You are… you’re very cast because of my… Not—well, because you’re a great actor. But also you have a great look.” – Kalila to Simon [68:25]

• Kat jokes about looking like a Pixar character; the group riffs on Monsters Inc. and sitcom aesthetics.

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6. The Beatles, Linkin Park, and Musical Impact

[33:34 – 35:24]

• Simon gets drawn into a running joke about a photographer friend who claims Linkin Park’s Hybrid Theory had a bigger cultural impact than The Beatles’ White Album.

• Simon, wryly diplomatic, notes art’s subjectivity while doubting Linkin Park's broader influence.

  “I wouldn’t guess that they’ve impacted people or… certainly not culture as much.” – Simon Helberg [34:30]

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7. Therapy, AI, and The Audacity

[70:57 – 94:50]

• Simon plugs his new AMC series, The Audacity, a “dark comedic” show about a brilliant, alienated tech founder building an AI therapy bot.
• They debate ChatGPT’s value as a therapist, discuss AI’s possible future with emotions and souls, and critique Big Tech’s lack of “emotional touch.”
  • “They’re sociopaths, most of them. So how are they creating the… new way of communicating?” – Simon [91:26]
• Kat shares using ChatGPT as a relationship coach; Bobby and Simon warn about its positive bias and limitations.
• The gang joke about a future with therapy bots tailored to their quirks – “Mine will have big old titties. Yeah, cans. It’ll have a thousand of them…” – Bobby [93:12]

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8. Stand-Up, Success, and Self-Doubt

[81:20 – 86:41]

• Deep-dive on the loneliness and self-critical nature of stand-up comedy.
• Bobby gives “Hannibal Lecter advice,” drawing from the film’s iconic line about “coveting what you see”—applying it to mentoring comics (without the skin-wearing).
• Both Bobby and Simon reflect on their own doubts, perfectionism, and need for validation (“I always think I did bad,” “I never feel good”).

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9. Acting Realities: Laugh Tracks vs. Single-Cam

[85:10 – 88:31]

• Simon explains the difference between performing with a live audience (+ instant validation) vs. single-camera (“Are we all making the same show or the same movie? … You just don’t know”).
• The importance of trust between actor and director/editor, and why a culture of real feedback matters.

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10. Unusual Body Facts & Armpit Myths

[54:00 – 60:31]

• The group gets uncomfortably candid about armpit boils and “black holes.”
• Kalila and Bobby joke about Korean genetics and body odor (or lack thereof), the ABCC11 gene, and pop-culture stereotypes.

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11. Personal Rituals, Supplements & Sleep

[47:46 – 51:41]

• Simon breaks down his bedtime routine—magnesium glycinate, “garlic mushroom immunity thing,” NAC (for anxiety), Prozac.
• Kalila confesses to sleeping till 4pm and details her own mental health medication.
• The room trades stories about needing to “prep” for colonoscopies, sleep, rituals, and why comics have weird schedules.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Bobby on Comedy Mentorship:
  “You covet like Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs... but you don't covet like, like, the skin-taking part. You covet what's rising, like stocks.” [79:43]
• Simon on AI Therapy:
  “They’re sociopaths, most of them. So how are they creating this new way of communicating and the new kind of these entities that we're supposed to… trust?” [91:26]
• Kalila on Stand-Up and Doubt:
  “A lot of people don't have the right ears. Some people are bad and go, ‘I just did good.’ I have the polar opposite. I always think I did bad.” [84:13]
• Simon on Single-Camera Acting:
  “Are we all making the same show or the same movie? It’s all going to be together later. You just don’t know.” [87:27]
• On AI & the Future:
  “I believe that one day singularity is going to happen and there's going to be consciousness and that they're going to have feelings and they're going to. I do.” – Kalila [93:02]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Reuniting & MADtv Memories: [07:17 – 12:19]
• Coachella, Drugs, & Pop Generations: [12:30 – 18:01], [21:36 – 27:32]
• Music Opinions (Beatles vs. Linkin Park): [33:34 – 35:24]
• Nose Talk, "Castability," and Looks: [63:02 – 68:42]
• Big Bang, Acting Differences, Self-Doubt: [85:10 – 88:31]
• Therapy, AI, and The Audacity: [70:57 – 94:50]
• Career Advice, Stand-Up’s Loneliness: [81:20 – 86:41]

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Final Thoughts & Flow

The TigerBelly crew and Simon Helberg balance frenetic joking with surprising moments of sincerity—especially around creative doubt, friendship, and the evolution of careers in a changing media world. The tone veers from rowdy and irreverent to heartfelt, often within a single segment.

This episode is a perfect snapshot of TigerBelly’s signature chaos: tangents about genetics, drug stories, and festival nostalgia fold seamlessly into big questions about validation, AI, cultural legacy, and finding meaning in art. Simon Helberg’s dry wit and industry experience provide a grounded counterpoint to Bobby’s antics and Kalila’s candid advice.

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For Fans Of:

• Comedy and inside-showbiz banter
• Honest discussions of mental health and creative insecurity
• Pop culture, music, and festival nostalgia
• Philosophical takes on technology and the future

Memorable Endnote:
The crew sends Simon off with gratitude, music talk, and warm encouragement to watch his new AMC series "The Audacity," returning—per TigerBelly tradition—to affectionate shameless plugs and awkward goodbyes.

Transcript

[Simon Helberg]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Simon Helberg]

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[Bobby Lee]

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[Simon Helberg]

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[Bobby Lee]

And that it's one of those good

[Simon Helberg]

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[Kalila]

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[Simon Helberg]

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[Kalila]

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[Kalila]

But do you use cans or do you not use cans?

[Simon Helberg]

Is there, is there, are there people who don't use cans?

[Kalila]

Oh yeah, some people don't like the cans.

[Guest Comedian]

Boxes or.

[Kalila]

I mean we've never had a box on the show, but you know, I mean, if we had one. Probably use the cans.

[Guest Comedian]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, I'll use.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, if I said box, you wouldn't.

[Kalila]

I would not. No, no.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, I'm gonna just take the can.

[Kalila]

Yeah, take the cans, dude.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

This guy.

[Kalila]

No, I mean earplugs, ears is what I meant.

[Simon Helberg]

I thought you were doing a bit. I honestly thought you're doing a next level bit with the can thing.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, we don't. Do they call this the cans?

[Simon Helberg]

They're called cans.

[Kalila]

Yeah, they're called cans. Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

You thought you were talking about.

[Kalila]

Oh yeah, my bad. There's two types of Cans.

[Simon Helberg]

Let's address that. You happen to have cans of water. Like, that's a rare thing.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And then you said box. You said boxes, but also cans.

[Kalila]

Yeah, it's a festival. It's a film festival. I've never been. Because I've never really been in a good movie. Well, yeah, so there's that.

[Simon Helberg]

It's also a body part. And so is box.

[Kalila]

All right, all right.

[Simon Helberg]

Can you cut that out?

[Kalila]

Yeah, we'll cut that part out. We'll cut that part. We'll cut that part out. Dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're becoming edgy.

[Simon Helberg]

The whole thing.

[Kalila]

Is cans a body part?

[Simon Helberg]

Well, yeah.

[Kalila]

Oh, tit. Oh, breasts. All right.

[Simon Helberg]

Body parts.

[Guest Comedian]

And box.

[Kalila]

And box. What's a box?

[Guest Comedian]

A penis.

[Kalila]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Simon Helberg]

We'll cut that out.

[Kalila]

We'll cut that out. Yeah, we'll cut that out. So Simon and I have known each other for how long do you think.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, excuse me. I'm just parched looking at you.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

I wanna. I wanna drink you up. I wanna drink you like water. That's like the. Remember, you know Jesse Buckley, the actor?

[Kalila]

Of course.

[Simon Helberg]

Every speech she gave, there was one speech she gave about Paul Mescal where she was like, I want to drink you.

[Kalila]

Yeah. What does that mean? You think? It.

[Simon Helberg]

It sounds. Everything sounded so sexual. But then she'd be like. And Paul, I want to drink you like water. Also, I want to thank your girlfriend. She's so lovely. My husband. I was like, wow.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

I've never said, I want to drink you like water.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah. To anybody.

[Simon Helberg]

To somebody that I didn't want to just, yeah. Mess around with.

[Kalila]

Well, it's like when you're in love with somebody, you kind of want to bite them.

[Simon Helberg]

It's true. So maybe drinking, like, also drinking, like, water isn't really sexy. The way she said it with.

[Kalila]

Well, the human body is. Consisted of a lot of water.

[Simon Helberg]

I think that was her point.

[Kalila]

Okay, well, I don't know.

[Simon Helberg]

I'm not scientific.

[Kalila]

One scientific point. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

It's always good to be accurate.

[Kalila]

Yeah. What's the percentage of 73.

[Simon Helberg]

Wow.

[Kalila]

Well, 73 of the human body is water.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And then it's same with the Earth, right? Isn't it like, more.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah, it's the same as the Earth.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Wow, you're blowing my mind. How do you know this cat?

[Guest Comedian]

Because. Because everyone knows this.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Oh, okay. See, Adult male have. How much water in there?

[Simon Helberg]

How much water is in there in your body? That's not an accurate way to describe what we're talking about.

[Kalila]

What does that say? 60%. Yeah, yeah. Female body 55. Get more water, Cat.

[Simon Helberg]

I'm sorry.

[Kalila]

Yeah, get up. 5%.

[Guest Comedian]

Mostly. Mostly hormones.

[Kalila]

Oh, you are. Okay. All right, Moody.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, I don't feel like we have water. Like half of it's not like an evenly dispersed. We're not like, filled up with water. I think that that's not.

[Kalila]

What do you mean?

[Simon Helberg]

Well, I think we are made of water. Yeah, but it's not like from the nipples down.

[Kalila]

Oh, right, right, right, right, right.

[Simon Helberg]

Water.

[Kalila]

Exactly.

[Simon Helberg]

It fills up.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Only the upper half.

[Simon Helberg]

I mean, we don't know though. Actually, same time. Maybe Cat knows.

[Kalila]

Yeah. My left foot. I have more water than my right foot.

[Guest Comedian]

How do you know?

[Kalila]

It's the way I walk.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, well, we all know.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. Everyone knows that. Yeah, everyone knows. Yeah. Yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

The infant is practically a Dasani bottle, which.

[Kalila]

Disgusting.

[Simon Helberg]

Also, what shape is. It's like Aito. A DeVito shape.

[Kalila]

Is that a DeVito baby?

[Simon Helberg]

He has DeVito syndrome.

[Kalila]

Why would they use D. DeVito. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's.

[Simon Helberg]

See, that's AI. That's their take. They're stealing the likeness.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

DeVito.

[Kalila]

Wait, wait. Go back to the last photo. Go about the last photo. Right. And then the adult male is Toby Maguire. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Spider Man 3.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Spider Man 3. So.

[Simon Helberg]

And Shelly Duvall is the woman.

[Kalila]

And Martin. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Short is the child.

[Kalila]

Martin Short is the children. Yeah, yeah. It's so weird. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Look, they represent.

[Kalila]

They represent average human beings. That's right.

[Simon Helberg]

You never would think. Think that Danny DeVito, Martin Short, Shelley

[Kalila]

Duvall and Toby Maguire would be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

[Guest Comedian]

The female just looks like she's wearing pants. Really?

[Kalila]

Yeah. Which they're allowed to do in this country.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

By the way. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Even if you're.

[Kalila]

This is an American woman.

[Guest Comedian]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Yeah. She can wear whatever she wants.

[Simon Helberg]

What are you trying to say?

[Kalila]

Yeah, what are you trying to say, Cat?

[Guest Comedian]

She's just.

[Kalila]

What was this? Oh, now, okay. I don't know. I'm stumped.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay.

[Kalila]

It doesn't make any. Any sense.

[Simon Helberg]

Now we're so just saying the brain is 75% water. Ye.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Oh, I see.

[Guest Comedian]

So this doesn't make a hundred percent, right?

[Simon Helberg]

I don't think it's supposed to.

[Kalila]

It's not supposed to.

[Simon Helberg]

No, no. Because it's saying now, within the percentage of a person, then if you look to just at their brain. Their brain.

[Kalila]

Unless you using Trump. You mean you know me. Because he metrics. Right. And sometimes 2000% down from prescription drugs.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Kalila]

When he says.

[Simon Helberg]

I thought you were talking about his brain.

[Kalila]

Unless you're using, his brain is 15%. 15%. So Samb and I met. How long.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, my God. I was. It was on. I was on MAD TV with you in 2003-2002-2002-2002.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And really insane. It's insane. And I remember. What a blessing. Did you ever think about this?

[Simon Helberg]

You know, I blocked it out. No, no. I think I know what you're gonna say. You're gonna be nice to me.

[Kalila]

I'm gonna be completely nice to you. What are you talking about?

[Simon Helberg]

Okay, because it. Well, why you just keep going. It would surprise.

[Kalila]

I would never say anything that's going to be not nice.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay, well, I'm going to say when you said what a blessing.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Because I. I think that the experience of MAD TV was. Was not so nice. But the blessing part of it actually, for me, seriously, was having you there because you were so. So incredibly kind to me.

[Kalila]

I thought we were friends.

[Simon Helberg]

I did, too. I don't know why it took us 25.

[Kalila]

Well, because, you know, you take two different paths.

[Simon Helberg]

Right.

[Kalila]

You went high, I went low.

[Simon Helberg]

Right.

[Kalila]

And then I went back high again.

[Simon Helberg]

Right.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

No, no, you're right.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what happened. Yeah. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

No, it's just. It's.

[Kalila]

I mean, we travel in different, you know, I mean, paths.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. I'm just. Success and.

[Kalila]

Yeah. All that. You were just deep in it. So busy. Right.

[Simon Helberg]

You know, I. Yeah, yeah. It's just I have. There's a certain threshold.

[Kalila]

But. But the blessing, I think, was because I remember when you were let go of mad.

[Simon Helberg]

Yes.

[Kalila]

You were super sad.

[Simon Helberg]

Yes.

[Kalila]

Do you remember?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And then I remember having conversations with you.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And then. Then you got on, you know, I mean, Big bang.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Right. And it was an incredible success.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Right. I think that if you would. Lasted eight years on mad.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

How long were you on? Eight years.

[Kalila]

Eight years. Yeah, yeah. Eight years I was on.

[Simon Helberg]

Was that till the very end I

[Kalila]

was at when it was like the time it hit the iceberg.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

It was sinking. I'm still in the bottom of the ocean.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. How long?

[Kalila]

Yeah. On the bodies that haven't been recovered.

[Simon Helberg]

Right.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I still have the saxophone because I would have been a musician. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rusted saxophone with my skeleton floating in the bottom of the ocean.

[Simon Helberg]

That was me that. That feels.

[Kalila]

Is that you and I oh. Oh, my God.

[Simon Helberg]

I don't video. What is this?

[Kalila]

I don't remember what it is.

[Simon Helberg]

Yes. Yeah, well, I wore a durag, that data set, and they thought it'd be fun to use it in the sketch.

[Guest Comedian]

That was 2000. What?

[Kalila]

Two. Two, probably 2002.

[Simon Helberg]

Well, you were like. You really took me under your wing. You really did. You were so kind because. And this is the thing I was thinking about as I came here today. I was like, oh, man. You know, Bobby, really, aside from even just the time on the show, you also, like, I feel like, taught me how to be a sort of grown up, like how to pay for dinner. You were always so generous. I just never knew anything like that. And I had never made like a weekly salary.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

So I didn't understand anything. And I just. I just remember you being the most like. Just like a shining light Cafe Desertis.

[Kalila]

Hello.

[Simon Helberg]

You were. And then.

[Kalila]

And goodbye. Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And then you. It was such a. It was such a miserable place in so many ways. And you were always.

[Kalila]

Hi.

[Guest Comedian]

Hello.

[Kalila]

Yeah, there's just.

[Simon Helberg]

Somebody just sat down.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. So this is my co host, Kalila. Hi. Yeah. And this is Simon Helberg.

[Bobby Lee]

Nice to meet you.

[Simon Helberg]

Hi.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Can you repeat everything that we've said?

[Kalila]

No, just. No. How did you guys repeat how generous I was back then?

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I really talked to Bobby.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

He taught me how to.

[Kalila]

I just. He just said I was generous.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. And I taught how to be like a man.

[Kalila]

To be a man.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, Because a man.

[Kalila]

That's what I'm saying.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah. It was more of like a class, like a classy guy.

[Kalila]

A classy guy.

[Simon Helberg]

He would go to dinner.

[Kalila]

Sinatra. Sinatra.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. Imagine.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Hey, there's a lot of.

[Kalila]

Whoa.

[Simon Helberg]

But yeah. And then also, like, after the table read, you would be. You were very supportive. And then, you know, you just were showing me, hey, this is like a miserable, scorched earth kind of place. And.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And that helped me.

[Kalila]

Yeah, it was scorched earth, miserable place.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Not.

[Simon Helberg]

It helped me realize that it was okay to be miserable in some way, but then you'd be very encouraging. And I remember. I remember my first table reading. I did so many sketches and they all went really, really well. And you were like, you killed. And none of them got picked. And then I went through. Did you mean that, Bobby? Yeah.

[Kalila]

What?

[Simon Helberg]

Did you mean that?

[Kalila]

No, I thought he did.

[Simon Helberg]

No, and it did, actually. That was what was.

[Kalila]

I'm not a liar. Yeah, no, no.

[Simon Helberg]

I remember being like, oh, My God, I did it. You know, and then none of them got picked. And then I went to Bobby and was like, what's going on?

[Kalila]

Yeah. And I go, this is the brutality of sketch.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, so. So that was help. It was helpful to commiserate. But this is my.

[Kalila]

This is. If you were gonna sing a song about me, this is it. I did it my way.

[Simon Helberg]

Yep.

[Guest Comedian]

That's so good.

[Simon Helberg]

That is. You sang that your way, too.

[Kalila]

Are you being real or are you being mean? Or real.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm being mean.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah, you're being mean. Yeah. Yeah. You're being mean. Yeah. Yeah. How was Coachella?

[Simon Helberg]

Is that where you just got back?

[Kalila]

We both. We were all there.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. You were at Coachella. What are you talking about? How was Coachella?

[Guest Comedian]

I didn't go.

[Kalila]

She didn't go? Yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

No.

[Simon Helberg]

So you just ask people that to the last.

[Kalila]

No, she did go, but she just stayed in the house.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, okay. I know. You're like. It's like, you ask people and they're like, I didn't go, did you? And you're like, oh, yeah, I did. How did you know?

[Kalila]

No, that wasn't that. I've done that before, but that wasn't that.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We all went together, same Airbnb Cat.

[Guest Comedian]

But I didn't. I didn't.

[Kalila]

Yeah, you weren't invited.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay, so when you say we all. And there's four people at the table and two of them didn't, like, one of. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Have you ever been to that?

[Simon Helberg]

I have. I went a long, long time ago.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

What year did you go?

[Simon Helberg]

I went. It was like Radiohead and Flaming Lips. Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah. That's a good one.

[Simon Helberg]

It was really cool.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. This. So this was. Well, the Strokes did that very cool thing.

[Kalila]

Yeah, Yeah. I was there. I was there and in the front row, and I was like. It was amazing that.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, in the front.

[Kalila]

I was in the front row.

[Bobby Lee]

Price. You didn't go venture on to see David Byrne.

[Kalila]

I'm shocked because I couldn't. My legs wouldn't let me. I'm 54. So I'm like, should I go to David Byrne? I'll go home. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

You're 54?

[Kalila]

Yeah. How old are you?

[Simon Helberg]

Well, I'm 45.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

But I feel like I also remember this about MAD TV. I was like, I'm 22. And you were like, I'm 48. Like, I was always, like. It never made any sense.

[Kalila]

It still doesn't make sense to me now.

[Simon Helberg]

Do you Remember? Oh, and actually, speaking of the Strokes, remember when they played on that tv?

[Kalila]

Yeah, I did.

[Simon Helberg]

Didn't you, like, hung with them?

[Kalila]

Yeah, but not. I not get a hang with them. I got in trouble with Drew Barrymore. Did you know this?

[Simon Helberg]

I think I remember, yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah. So Drew Barrymore was dating the drummer, I believe. Right. And I was using drugs then. Right. And had a bowl of drugs in my dressing room.

[Bobby Lee]

A bowl.

[Simon Helberg]

He didn't even distinguish which drugs there were. He just always asked for a bowl of.

[Kalila]

Yeah, just a bowl of drugs, which

[Simon Helberg]

is how he got caught.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like cereal to me. Yeah, you just add some milk now. But anyway, yeah, so I had a bowl of drugs. I guess he took too much. And Drew complained that he was all drugged out and complained to the show that he took some of my drugs. And we don't even know what it is. And this and that. It was a little bit of a controversy. But then I reran into him a month ago and we hugged. It was totally cool. And what's this?

[Simon Helberg]

The Strokes. Month ago.

[Kalila]

Oh, I introduced the Strokes.

[Simon Helberg]

On drugs.

[Kalila]

On drugs.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Guest Comedian]

Wait, you didn't tell us this part.

[Kalila]

What do you mean?

[Guest Comedian]

Do you remember that you introduced the Strokes?

[Kalila]

I don't remember it, but I just remember them being there because I got in trouble. Okay.

[Guest Comedian]

He looks like he's on drugs. Is that the.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, that's how many drugs.

[Kalila]

That's what he looks like.

[Simon Helberg]

Bobby. Bobby's bowl of drugs was so big that it almost killed.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was incredible. And kind of watching them perform again, you know what I mean? All these years, it just kind of brought me back into that.

[Bobby Lee]

You also realize how long they've been around. I was in high school.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's.

[Kalila]

They were great. Yeah, I saw Karen Carpenter, too. She was pretty good.

[Bobby Lee]

Who?

[Simon Helberg]

Karen.

[Kalila]

Oh, Sabrina,

[Simon Helberg]

you really are.

[Kalila]

What the.

[Guest Comedian]

I agree.

[Kalila]

I was like Karen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was. I thought she was, you know, I mean, a pole, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how skinny she was.

[Bobby Lee]

Peace.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Rip. Rest in peace. That's what it means. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I meant Sabrina Carpenter. And this is what drink. Sabrina? Yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

That looks like Madonna.

[Simon Helberg]

Is that Madonna or Sabrina? I don't know.

[Kalila]

It could have been grand. Madonna.

[Guest Comedian]

But you look like Moby.

[Kalila]

I do?

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah. I'm Asian. Moby. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

One of my nieces. When Madonna came out, one of my nieces didn't. One of my nieces friends didn't Know who she was? And then she proceeded to ask, is that Charli xcx?

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, no.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's how big of a generational character.

[Simon Helberg]

That's what I heard. It's like the Karen Carpenter Supreme Court.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That gap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when Vogue started happening, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

She performed.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Like. And she performed Vogue.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Vogue started happening, and I'm like, what the fuck is going on here? Because, you know, I've never heard of Sabrina Carpenter's music. So it's difficult to be in the front row and listening to us with giant glass. With giant glasses at night,

[Simon Helberg]

just like,

[Kalila]

just almost dying. You're like this man.

[Simon Helberg]

There go Karen.

[Bobby Lee]

Were you on the live stream? Stream? I don't know if you were right up front.

[Kalila]

Like, I don't know. I don't think so. Yeah, yeah. But I would have gotten, like, DMs from. Yeah, but so, you know, you don't know the music. So you're just. And also, you know, your niece was there, and so there was. We were with. And everyone's doing the lyrics.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, Right.

[Kalila]

And I'm trying to get into it, but I don't know. I've never heard of any of these songs. But then once Vogue started, I go, she's going to cover Vogue. And then when Grandma Donna came out, I was like, oh, my God. God. I couldn't believe it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

Gr. What? She was great. She did. She did Vogue. She did Just Like a Prayer.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah. And it. And I got goosebumps. Yeah. And then I went home back to the Airbnb after that.

[Simon Helberg]

That's what you do.

[Kalila]

I can do one show maybe, and then that's it.

[Guest Comedian]

Did you go to the Sahara tent?

[Kalila]

You almost killed in the artist. In the artist. Pass. I don't know how to get there. Oh, yeah, I was with the trailer.

[Guest Comedian]

It's like the peasants. Pass. Is the Sahara tent.

[Kalila]

Hugh. I love Huel. I'll tell you why. This is what I use in the morning, right? Because I want nutrients, right. I want 35 grams of protein. Exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

We don't love the artificial sweetener.

[Kalila]

We don't like that. We like essential vitamins and minerals. Right. It's a complete meal at the end of the day. It tastes freaking delicious. Yeah, it really does. I'm gonna open up one right now, Huel. Right? And I'm gonna sip some variable. Do you use powder when you want something more built, like thicker blended or more filling?

[Bobby Lee]

One of the hardest things for me to do ever is to hit my protein goals every day. Like, it's like, okay, so hard. One pound of, you know, one gram of protein per one pound of your weight. Which means I have to hit what, like 140? How much protein I have to hit. I have to physically eat.

[Kalila]

How much?

[Bobby Lee]

It's too much.

[Kalila]

It's way too much.

[Bobby Lee]

So it's like, why don't I just eliminate the drama, eliminate all that stress and drink a heel.

[Kalila]

Yeah. This is also an under $5 per meal. With this economy. Hello. You know what I mean? Get a heel. You'll get all the essential vitamins and the protein. Teen.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, how many teens you get so

[Kalila]

many teens that you don't even forget about the pro. All right.

[Simon Helberg]

If you're trying to stay consistent, this. Com makes it stupidly easy. Limited time offer get Heal today with our exclusive offer of 15% off online with our code [e-mail] TigerBelly new customers only. Thank you to Heal for partnering and supporting our show.

[Kalila]

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[Bobby Lee]

You shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. Amen brings expert care straight to you. With 100 online access to personalized treatment plans that put your goals first. You can think of HIMS as like your digital treatments front door that gets you back to your old self with simple 100% online access to trusted for real health concerns all in one place.

[Simon Helberg]

Kalila, how do you think Bobby's hair looks these days?

[Bobby Lee]

Honestly? Incredible.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Here's what I also like about HIMS is that you have access to 24. 7 provider support, a once a day treatment option and fit your daily routine.

[Bobby Lee]

Cool. I love this for you guys. I love that this is available to you.

[Kalila]

Yeah, it's awesome.

[Simon Helberg]

For simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss, weight loss and more, visit hims.combelly that's hims.combelly for your free online visit hims.combelly Featured products

[Kalila]

include compounded drug products which the FDA

[Simon Helberg]

does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required.

[Kalila]

See website for full details, restrictions and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies

[Simon Helberg]

of topical and oral minoxidil and Finasteride.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I was with the trailer.

[Guest Comedian]

It's like the peasants pass. Is the Sahara tent.

[Kalila]

Yeah. What are you implying?

[Simon Helberg]

What is. Wait, why is everyone so. I don't know what.

[Kalila]

The Sahara. Yeah, yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

Isn't there a Sahara tent where you.

[Bobby Lee]

Sahara is just one of the other stages, right?

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah, it's like where all the fun DJs are.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's a Sahara.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah. So I had no boo at the Sahara tent.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, no boo.

[Simon Helberg]

What?

[Kalila]

I had no boat.

[Simon Helberg]

That was not Nobu.

[Kalila]

It was Nobu.

[Simon Helberg]

That was like 7 11.

[Bobby Lee]

No, they had Nobu had a popup and he ate that.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. I. The popup Nobu, Dave.

[Simon Helberg]

That's what Coachella is.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Noo.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pop up Nobu. And it was right by the edm.

[Simon Helberg]

Karen Carpenter Sushi.

[Kalila]

This beautiful.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, Beautiful festival.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. And so you're outside, right? You're eating sushi. The EDM stage is probably 300ft away. Right. And it's. And it's like you're eating during. You know what I mean?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Earthquake. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Who else did you see? Who else was there?

[Kalila]

Well, I wanted to see Interpol because I'm friends with Paul, the lead singer, and I just could. My legs couldn't make it.

[Simon Helberg]

What's wrong with your legs?

[Kalila]

My knees are hurting. You know what I mean?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

To get to the other stages, I would have to run.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you would.

[Kalila]

I'd have to run through a set of people because they're in different stages. There's like six stages.

[Simon Helberg]

But, I mean, why couldn't you walk?

[Kalila]

Yeah. Because the timing.

[Simon Helberg]

He chose to run. I. I think you're.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

You're creating a lot of, like, false.

[Kalila]

No, I'm not. I am not. I am not. No, I'm not.

[Simon Helberg]

I would have had to run. Why? Because I thought maybe like, you were.

[Kalila]

Because of scheduling. Right. So. All right. So the strokes ended at 10. Interpol started at 10.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Right.

[Simon Helberg]

So that.

[Kalila]

And it's on the. All the way across. Right. So I have to run to Interpol. Right, right. Which is. I don't even know where it is. Yeah, there's a map. But, you know, I'm not. I'm not Magellan.

[Simon Helberg]

No.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Just say that out loud. You know what I mean? Or Columbus or any of the explorers.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. No, you're not gelling.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Not yelling at all. Yeah. And then you. You can take a golf cart to the variety of stages. But the lines. What?

[Guest Comedian]

That's awesome.

[Kalila]

That's Good.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

But the line is nine miles long to get to. You know what I mean?

[Guest Comedian]

So you got to take the golf cart to the line.

[Kalila]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're waiting in line for a golf cart. Oh, yeah. It's the opposite of the golf cart.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Okay, so I wasn't able to see Interpol, so I just saw the Strokes and. Sorry, Paul, if you're listening. You texted Paul, right? Yeah. And I'm. I'd seen Interpol before, but I'm a big fan. But I. I just went back to the Airbnb.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

And the guy, Cole, that was, you know, he's the director of the whole festival, hooked me up and the nicest man I've ever met, and I'm very grateful. So if you're listening, dude, thank you so much.

[Simon Helberg]

I'll be back. See you next year.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, name me a lineup and then see if I'll go back. Yeah, yeah, name me a lineup.

[Guest Comedian]

Rolling Stones.

[Kalila]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. The Talking Heads.

[Kalila]

Oh, the full band.

[Bobby Lee]

The full band. Pixies. Full band. Kinks.

[Kalila]

Okay. Pixies with Kim. Deal. Yeah, yeah, I would do that.

[Simon Helberg]

You would do that. That's what I think. She was there when I saw. Yeah. Because she was playing with them for a bit.

[Kalila]

Yeah, she was again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

So I did it. I did.

[Kalila]

You did. You did that.

[Simon Helberg]

Was it hot, though? Because it was. It's always so brutal.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Were you on. On Big Bang then?

[Simon Helberg]

Yes, it was the, like, very beginning. So I. What? I. I was in like the VIP section, but it was enormous.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Everybody.

[Kalila]

Yeah, everyone's there.

[Simon Helberg]

And it's just the only thing was they had the, like Mr. The. The.

[Kalila]

The. The water that would drip on you, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And also, fashion wise, I'm like, oh. I'm like, I think I'm out. I saw a black man with. Just wearing feathers. And I didn't know where the seams were or the cloth was, so it was just sticking out of his skin.

[Simon Helberg]

It wasn't a bird. I think you're just describing a bird. You saw a crow.

[Kalila]

I saw a gigantic crow. Yeah, yeah. No, there was a 6 foot 2 black man, you know what I mean? Very handsome, just wearing feathers coming out of his skin. I don't know how he did it. That's amazing. And then you watch somebody, you know, just with a hippo mask on, with no clothing on, walking.

[Guest Comedian]

Are they naked?

[Kalila]

No, he's wearing like a hippo underwear or whatever. Right.

[Simon Helberg]

And the fashion hippo like what a hippo would wear.

[Kalila]

Like gray.

[Guest Comedian]

Just gray.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay.

[Guest Comedian]

Like a speed up.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, hippo underwear.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

Well, a hippo's gray.

[Simon Helberg]

No, I know you said hippo underwear, like, it was a common. And so I didn't know if you were saying, like, this is, like, the underwear a hippo would wear.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I see.

[Simon Helberg]

Just like, I've never seen a hippo threw away. Like, you know, he's wearing hippo underwear and.

[Kalila]

Oh, okay.

[Simon Helberg]

I got you now. I get it. Gray like a hippo.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Or just you could say gray underwear.

[Kalila]

Yeah, gray underwear. I could have said gray underwear. Yeah, you're right.

[Bobby Lee]

What about Radio Head that he went to?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. Radiohead, Pixies, Flaming Lips.

[Bobby Lee]

But a live. A live David Bowie ad. That's crazy Saturday headliner.

[Kalila]

Yeah, probably. Let's see Radio Head live.

[Guest Comedian]

David.

[Kalila]

It's got to be a second thing. Talking Heads reunion.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah. But they have to be on the mainstream in a row, so you don't have to run. So I don't have to run.

[Simon Helberg]

I went to Old Chella. Did you go to.

[Kalila]

No, no. What's.

[Simon Helberg]

You know what that is?

[Kalila]

What's old?

[Simon Helberg]

Like, about five or six years ago, it was Paul McCartney, Neil Young, Bob Dylan.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, wow.

[Simon Helberg]

Roger Waters. Who else was it? The Rolling Stone.

[Kalila]

That's it. That's it. That's it. I'm Ulla.

[Simon Helberg]

I did that.

[Kalila]

Yeah, you did Ulla.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, I went.

[Kalila]

I didn't even know. There was an old ch.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, I think they just did it one year.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Madonna should have been at Ulcella. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And it was in Indio. And it was a real. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

In Indio, too.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I would have done Ulcella.

[Simon Helberg]

And I was. You know what? Lars Ulrich was backstage in the. Because I was in the, like, VIP thing there. Not. It was not super fancy again, but there was like a. They kind of cordon off a smaller group of people. There's still thousands and thousands of people. There was Lars, Alec. And he was eating meatballs and.

[Kalila]

Wow.

[Simon Helberg]

And he was with his regular meatballs. Yeah. Just, like, eating. But, you know, like. Like, my. So my friend and I started, like, imagining what lar. Because, you know, talking about the meatballs, like, how good they are. These balls are so good. And then, like, we went out and, like, Paul McCartney came on stage and was playing and. And Lars is still eating these meatballs and.

[Kalila]

And he.

[Simon Helberg]

He turned around with his back to the stage.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And was, like, looking out. It was the Most like, amazing kind of strange. I don't know if he had never. It was like he had never heard of Paul McCartney. And he was looking to see kind of how the music was resonating while eating meatballs.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And he was like, oh, okay. Like. And he kept kind of, like, looking at the crowd, but not at Paul McCartney. It's just an amazing.

[Kalila]

I've done that with meatloaf.

[Simon Helberg]

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

I've done it with meatloaf.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah. But I think Lars is a very, like, He's a very thoughtful. I don't know what he was thinking. Yeah, it felt like maybe he was thinking, like, should I play here next year? Like, and who's this guy Paul and all these people? No, no, no, no, no, no. Like, trying to figure, oh, he did some Beatles. Oh, Paul McCartney did the whole. Oh, my God, some Beatles.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God.

[Simon Helberg]

What else is he gonna do now?

[Kalila]

Is it as many people.

[Simon Helberg]

I mean, I know he's got wings. I'm just saying.

[Kalila]

But of course, I mean, his first album, Ram, was a very good song. Helix sleep. Helix sleep. Dude. Guys, I have beds in my room and my beds.

[Simon Helberg]

You have multiple.

[Kalila]

Multiple rooms with many beds. Right? That's what I meant to say.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a mattress king.

[Kalila]

I'm the king of all mattresses. And I only use Helix because it's the best kind. I really do. People spend the night at my house. I go, oh, my God, I slept so well. I go, what is it? I go, Helix. A study that they ran found that 82% of those involved saw an increase in their deep sleep cycle with sleeping on a Helix mattress.

[Bobby Lee]

And honestly, I've had my Helix for over five years now, and it is still perfect as the first day.

[Kalila]

Me too.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me see. And it's so easy. You just take a quiz. You take the Helix quiz online and they match you with a mattress based on your. The type of sleeper that you are. Like, for instance, me, I am a side sleeper and I run really hot. So I got matched with the midnight. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Helix is the best mattress on planet Earth. Just get it, man. Right? Award winning Helix is the most awarded mattress brand tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wire. Free shipping and seamless delivery. Helix delivers your matches right to your door. With free shipping in the U.S. all right. I'm happy with it. Everyone in this room is happy with it. Get Helix sleep, man.

[Bobby Lee]

He's muy passionate. And what's really cool too is that they give you 120 nights of a trial. So if you're like, you know what, I don't like it. You can give it back 120, but you're not.

[Kalila]

You're going to do 10,000 nights after that.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Simon Helberg]

But no need to worry.

[Kalila]

Don't worry about it.

[Simon Helberg]

Go to helixleep.com tigerbelly for 20 off side wide. That's helixsleep.com tigerbelly for 20% off side wide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. Helixleep.com TigerBelly DraftKings Cassie Shopify.

[Kalila]

Shopify. Shopify. You know we have an online business. We use Shopify. Do you know why? Starting something is hard.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Is it not?

[Guest Comedian]

Totally.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Skims, Allbirds, Tiger Belly to brands just getting started as well. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style, accelerate your efficiency.

[Bobby Lee]

Whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones, Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines and even enhance your product photography.

[Kalila]

Best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond.

[Bobby Lee]

And Kat, what if people haven't heard about my brand?

[Guest Comedian]

Well, that's okay. Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run email and social media.

[Bobby Lee]

But Kat, what if I get stuck?

[Guest Comedian]

Oh, it's okay. Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer support.

[Kalila]

Can you talk about the purple button please? And did I mention the iconic purple button?

[Simon Helberg]

So you wanted to bring it?

[Kalila]

I want to bring it to the shop pay button that's used by millions of businesses around the world. It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet also helps boost conversions, meaning less cards going abandoned and more sales for you.

[Simon Helberg]

It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com tigerbelly go to shopify.com tigerbelly that's shopify.com tigerbelly Vrbo makes it easy to claim your dream summer spot with early booking deals from homes with

[Bobby Lee]

pools to poolside loungers. When you book a vrbo, you don't

[Simon Helberg]

have to reserve any loungers. They're all yours. All you have to do is book early book with Vrbo. First album. McCartney. McCartney is his first album and.

[Kalila]

Oh, Ram was second.

[Simon Helberg]

Ram was maybe third. Because there was no. No.

[Kalila]

Tell me what RAM is.

[Simon Helberg]

Ram is.

[Kalila]

Tell me what ram is.

[Simon Helberg]

Second or third. Ram is absolute. But McCartney. One.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. Is also a pretty fantastic album. It's. It's all. It's more like fragmented.

[Kalila]

Okay. What was the order? Sure.

[Simon Helberg]

It's Maybe I'm amazes on. The first one is on McCartney. See, there's.

[Kalila]

Oh, McCartney.

[Simon Helberg]

Sorry.

[Kalila]

71.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay. It's the second.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Ram right there.

[Kalila]

Yeah. See?

[Simon Helberg]

McCartney.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah. Second, 1970.

[Simon Helberg]

McCartney is a.

[Kalila]

They're both cool.

[Simon Helberg]

And he's playing all the instruments on both. And. And Ram is the one where he was, like, really figuring it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, there's an actual Ram in the photo.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, he was in Scotland.

[Kalila]

Courtney, that song, the first album has a baby. I'm amazed.

[Simon Helberg]

Yes.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that's the song.

[Simon Helberg]

That's the last one. It's got a lot of, like. It's got junk.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Drunk is a great song. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Every night I just wanna.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

It's got all these, like.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Now I wanna. I wanna. Hold on. Just real quick. I want to hear Simon's. Halberg's take on this. Right. This man right here, his name is Alex. He's a photographer.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, he doesn't like about it.

[Kalila]

Yeah. He says that. Is it Linkin Park.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Has more of a cultural revelance in the world than the Beatles.

[Simon Helberg]

Is that.

[Kalila]

That's what he believes?

[Simon Helberg]

He's shaking his head.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah. What do you believe?

[Simon Helberg]

All I said was hybrid theory sold more albums than the White Album, and I was right.

[Kalila]

Wow. Wow.

[Simon Helberg]

I don't know what hybrid theory is.

[Kalila]

I don't either. I don't either. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. But you're right about. Check it out, though. Is that Lincoln? You got to check it out. You gotta check it out. Is it a double album?

[Kalila]

I think there's an extended version, too. Oh, a director's cut. Yeah. Wow. Yay.

[Simon Helberg]

I mean, okay.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

But that doesn't make.

[Kalila]

But if one believe. If one believed that Linkin park was better than the Beatles, just hypothetically.

[Simon Helberg]

Right.

[Kalila]

Would that person be wrong?

[Simon Helberg]

You know, better is. Better is a. I feel like I have to allow people to use that kind of subjective thing because better is. Is a. It's just your opinion. I don't know. Linkin Park. I don't think that I would like them more, and I don't. I wouldn't guess that they've impacted people or. Certainly not culture as Much. Yeah, but that is also. Okay. Like, there are many. There are many.

[Kalila]

Oh, I hate what you're doing.

[Simon Helberg]

I'm sorry.

[Kalila]

I hate what you're doing right now.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't yuck his yam.

[Simon Helberg]

I'm sorry. But then, you know, like, you go. Like, there's a lot of. Okay, so, like, there's the whole. You know, the whole. Like Lou Reed and even Bowie, they all. They didn't like the Beatles that much.

[Kalila]

Oh, really? Oh, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Glenn Gould. There's a lot of, like.

[Kalila]

Yeah, there.

[Simon Helberg]

And. And I heard the stories and I. I'll hear it out.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

I.

[Kalila]

Although there is a photo. A photo of McCartney, Mick Jagger and David Bowie kind of making out and stuff.

[Simon Helberg]

That is different.

[Kalila]

That's different. That's different. That's different. That's different. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

To do with music.

[Kalila]

They're just hanging out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What the theory of them making out is they got so many girls that it turns people gay. Have you heard of that theory?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but that's like Harley Sheen says on his documentary. Like, when you've seen the whole front of the menu, you have to flip.

[Simon Helberg]

See, I've heard people say that, and I always. It never.

[Kalila]

It doesn't register with sense to me.

[Simon Helberg]

And I always felt like that's not.

[Kalila]

Yeah, look at that. Look at them all three together.

[Simon Helberg]

But then I realize it's just that I will. I can't imagine actually getting to the point where it would become boring. It's sort of like talking about being a sex addict.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

How are you a sex addict?

[Kalila]

Right.

[Simon Helberg]

Like, that's sort of like saying, hold it back up. It's like saying, I'm addicted to winning the lottery.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Like, you can't choose.

[Kalila]

You can't choose. Right.

[Simon Helberg]

That some people can't.

[Kalila]

That you had. I think that they're just like Lou Reed. Okay, I know Lou Reed, Jagger and David Bowie.

[Simon Helberg]

But Lou Reed was.

[Kalila]

You and I will never be in a photo like that.

[Simon Helberg]

No, that's you, me and Ike Barry.

[Kalila]

Yeah. We.

[Simon Helberg]

We got so tired of all the girls we were getting when I did that. Seven episodes. Well, so. Yeah, but. Well, that's.

[Kalila]

They're just.

[Simon Helberg]

That's just friends.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

That feels friendly.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

But I mean, there's the story of, like, I heard different, but Mick Jagger and. And David Bowie sleeping together.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And then Lou Reed was gay, right?

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was he?

[Simon Helberg]

I think he was.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah. And right behind them. If you can see the law There's a body there that's the basis of Lincoln Parked. He can't get in. Yeah, yeah. He can't get into the circle.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah. More people. If you Google Lincoln park, that. That's what comes up.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

It's more popular when people. More people see that hand than they see the three of them.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

That's a cute picture.

[Kalila]

That's a cool table, though.

[Guest Comedian]

I like that picture.

[Kalila]

I'd love to be at that table.

[Simon Helberg]

It is cool. I wonder where that's. It's also that. Look at that mullet that. That David Bowie.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

That's what. Mick Jagger's whole. He's like. He's making fun of it to Lou Reed here.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Is that a Lou. Read it.

[Simon Helberg]

No doubt. It was my mcjugger.

[Kalila]

Yeah. That's your big jacket. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

That's why I got fired from it.

[Kalila]

Yeah. No, no, it wasn't. You had great impressions.

[Simon Helberg]

I had good.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

Did you get fired from there?

[Kalila]

No. Oh, my God.

[Simon Helberg]

So my contract is. Hey.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

No, I didn't get fired.

[Kalila]

No, I didn't get fired.

[Simon Helberg]

No, no, no, no. I. Well, I mean, I did. They didn't renew. Wait. Oh, I saw. I saw park and I thought it was Lincoln Park. I suddenly realized, don't get scared. It was just like, everywhere in this.

[Kalila]

Just on the way back home.

[Simon Helberg]

Propaganda.

[Kalila]

Just listen to something. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

No.

[Kalila]

Have you heard of Linkin park before?

[Simon Helberg]

I have heard of it.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love the. The work, particularly when they started hanging out with the Mahari. Then they.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Back then. Yeah. In India. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And. Yeah. So I'm sorry, Alex.

[Bobby Lee]

Sorry.

[Kalila]

Yeah. But every time, you know, I mean, we get a smart guest, I'm gonna. You know, I'm gonna bring it up. Somebody that knows about music, I'm gonna bring it up.

[Simon Helberg]

You can't. Don't hit us.

[Kalila]

Don't do this.

[Simon Helberg]

I just.

[Kalila]

You don't know him. I love him. He's a brother. What, are you mad?

[Simon Helberg]

No.

[Kalila]

I said, yeah, man.

[Simon Helberg]

You're.

[Kalila]

You.

[Simon Helberg]

You. You said I was your brother.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. We're brother.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

You said we're brothers and I love you like a brother. You know what I mean? Like band of brothers. I go to war with you. Yeah, yeah. What's this? That's what you're doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Sorry.

[Simon Helberg]

You. Yeah. It was very confrontational for. For your brother.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

If you got drafted, would you go, no? Yeah, yeah. Either would I.

[Simon Helberg]

That's easy to say. We're also. What? You're in your 60s now or 75.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I. Even if they said 60 is the draft. Yeah. I mean, I think I would go. So I think I would dodge it. I'm on so many medications. Would that be a thing?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, maybe.

[Kalila]

What's this?

[Bobby Lee]

You are in a lot of medications.

[Kalila]

What is this?

[Simon Helberg]

It's going pretty viral right now. It's the Thailand pala. Knows what this is. It's the Thailand military draft.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

So they actually do a lot of re. Live in front of people when they live stream.

[Kalila]

And then it's a lot of. Whoa, whoa. Monks are involved.

[Simon Helberg]

Everyone in Thailand, you have to do two years.

[Kalila]

Oh, my God.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh.

[Kalila]

Oh, it's terrible.

[Guest Comedian]

Red.

[Kalila]

I'll go gay. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

But yeah, red means you're draft. You're. You have to serve military.

[Simon Helberg]

Serve in the military. But that's also.

[Bobby Lee]

Black means you're free.

[Simon Helberg]

And how active is there? Like, are. How active are they? I don't.

[Guest Comedian]

I feel like this is like American Idol, you know?

[Simon Helberg]

Look at.

[Kalila]

Look at that guy. Wow.

[Simon Helberg]

Netflix bought the streaming rights to this for the next year.

[Kalila]

No, I think so. Yeah. Really?

[Guest Comedian]

They're like, you're going to Hollywood.

[Simon Helberg]

Wow. That's his.

[Kalila]

Is he going or not going? Like, why are you dressing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I think it's turned into, like, full pageantry.

[Simon Helberg]

It is.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So Southeast Asian. As a Filipino, I know it's not Philippines, but this is so Southeast Asian.

[Kalila]

Okay, turn it off, Turn it off.

[Guest Comedian]

It's kind of sad.

[Kalila]

Yeah, it's very sad. I would be useless in a war.

[Guest Comedian]

I don't think so.

[Kalila]

Oh, no. I would be abs. I'm a coward.

[Guest Comedian]

No, but I think you would be strong and. And like, Like a fox. You'd be very, like.

[Kalila]

I'd be in the trees.

[Bobby Lee]

Weasley. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Eating trash like a raccoon.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be the dumpster.

[Guest Comedian]

You'd be smart.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I would survive it.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I think you.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You try to get out, right?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. I mean, I don't think they would.

[Kalila]

Comfortable.

[Simon Helberg]

I don't think they would come for us.

[Kalila]

I know, but if 60 was the limit.

[Simon Helberg]

Uhhuh.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hypothetically. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. I think I. I think it would. It would probably force, like. It could force a really nice movement to actually take place.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Because it would be. It would be such a, like, legitimate. That it would be such a legitimate threat to people's.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

You know, the status quo.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

I think there's a good chance that people Would organize and be like, yeah,

[Kalila]

yeah, yeah, we're out. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

But, yeah, I'm not hoping.

[Kalila]

Me either. Me either. And I think that you and I would be poor.

[Simon Helberg]

I. I think. Yeah.

[Kalila]

On the battlefield.

[Simon Helberg]

Yes. Poor on the battlefield.

[Kalila]

You know, we wouldn't get any ground.

[Simon Helberg]

No, I don't. And I think, like, Hamburger Hill. It would be fun to be like a jester in the war.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah, I'd be jester.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

I'll wear whatever with that hat. That.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, that would be great.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. You and I both. We'll do a show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

You can put feathers on your body.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah. Like that guy from Coachella.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. You couldn't even. You couldn't even run in Coachella. How would you. That. That would get you right out?

[Kalila]

That would get me out. You'd be like, I couldn't run to inter.

[Simon Helberg]

You'd be like, I missed Interpol because of my knees.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that's my excuse. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Your polyp free. His colonoscopy was clean, so I think

[Kalila]

you have to go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a colonoscopy last week.

[Simon Helberg]

You did?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

That was. Was it the first time?

[Kalila]

It was the first, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And it was good.

[Kalila]

Well, they said I have. I'm polyp free. And they said that I have no cancer.

[Guest Comedian]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Simon Helberg]

Those are good.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what's so funny? I go, I'm gonna la. You know when they put you in anesthesia? Yeah, right. I go, put on a song, and I'm gonna sing the whole song. You're not gonna put me out.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, you thought you could?

[Kalila]

Yeah, I thought I could do it. It Sweet Nothing by the Velvet Underground. Yeah. I go, oh, sweet. And I woke up and I'm like. It was a half a second.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I go, oh, sweet. It's done. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It got me out.

[Bobby Lee]

They give you. They give you propofol. It's the Michael Jackson.

[Kalila]

Oh, that's why Michael Jackson loved it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't. Cuz the. The act of falling asleep, to me, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

[Simon Helberg]

Do you think if you sang a Michael Jackson song that you wouldn't.

[Kalila]

Then I want to die.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's like there's some weird like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, it's like the only way to fight against the profile effects. Like, oh, wow.

[Kalila]

Wow.

[Simon Helberg]

Maybe because I feel like he was on it and a way like he was on it. And rocking. Right. He wasn't always just like knocking himself out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. The doctor was giving him propofol every day.

[Simon Helberg]

Right. So he like built up a. Yeah, a tolerance.

[Kalila]

A tolerance to.

[Simon Helberg]

That is crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Well, she's the nurse. You can tell you what profile nurse.

[Simon Helberg]

But.

[Kalila]

But you did some training.

[Bobby Lee]

Is an anesthetic. It's actually better than the anesthetic they used to use because then you could just. You bounce back quicker. So that's why they use it for like short procedures like colonoscopy.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Kalila]

And my. Didn't hurt at all.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, wow.

[Bobby Lee]

But your prep was also incredible.

[Simon Helberg]

You. Yeah, his preps always.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I'm prep master, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Y.

[Simon Helberg]

That's the worst part. Right? It's the worst part because the thing itself is like. You're saying you've never done it? You sing a little Velvet Underground. No, I've. I've never.

[Kalila]

Do you know what the prep is?

[Simon Helberg]

Well, yeah, relative. It's just. Well, tell them, tell me that it's like a saline. You just drink salt until you shit your brain.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you. You wake up the next. The morning before.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Right. And you can't eat. Klarna will help you with budgeting. Klarna. It lets you split purchases into different payment options. I love budgeting, don't you?

[Bobby Lee]

I love the option to not pay the full bulk amount immediately.

[Kalila]

Exactly. Klarna offers value, transparency, control and no surprises. Pay now, later, or overtime. Whatever fits your life life. Stay in control of what you spend.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, with Klarna, you always know what you owe and when. And you can get extra value through cash back and deals right on the app.

[Kalila]

Oh, I love cash back and I love deals as well. You know, spend smarter. Turn everyday purchases into cash back like you said and long term value flexibility that fits real life.

[Guest Comedian]

Adjust payments when plans change without stress.

[Kalila]

Do you like stress?

[Guest Comedian]

I hate.

[Kalila]

I hate stress too, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

It's the worst.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Guys, download the Klarna app today or visit klarna.com to learn more.

[Kalila]

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[Simon Helberg]

pursuant to a California Finance Law License NMLS Number 1353190.

[Kalila]

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[Bobby Lee]

You can as light breakfast.

[Kalila]

But that's what I yelled at your sister for.

[Bobby Lee]

My sister's also a nurse and she took care of him.

[Kalila]

And she said. She said, don't eat, eat. And then when I looked it up later, I could have had A light breakfast.

[Bobby Lee]

Light breakfast.

[Simon Helberg]

That's a light breakfast for you?

[Kalila]

What? A hard boiled. A hard boiled egg.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I just say the reason she said you can't eat is cuz Bobby usually wakes up at 4pm so that's not.

[Simon Helberg]

You can't have a light break cuz you're working.

[Kalila]

I have nothing to do.

[Simon Helberg]

What do you mean? Wake up at work.

[Kalila]

Like this is sleeping hour right now.

[Simon Helberg]

Really?

[Kalila]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

What is it that you're doing? When do you go, when do you go to bed?

[Kalila]

Bed right now? Lately, about 2.

[Simon Helberg]

And you sleep for 14 hours?

[Kalila]

No, I think lately I've been. Because I have things to do. Like when I have things to do, I'll get up like tomorrow I have to do something at 1:30 in Santa Monica. So I'll get up at 12:30.

[Simon Helberg]

You're not gonna get to Santa Monica or 12. Oh my God.

[Kalila]

Yeah. At noon I'll wake up.

[Simon Helberg]

If you had nothing to do, you would just be dead.

[Kalila]

No, I would wake up at 2 or 3.

[Simon Helberg]

That's like a cat. Like cat.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

It's like 23 hours. Like one more hour of a cat sleeping as a cat.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Yeah. I, as of late I've had busy. Like was it two weeks ago? I was Monday through Friday waking up at 7 or 8 and getting home at around 8 or 9. So I can do that route as well.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay, good to know.

[Kalila]

You have some verses and I did it. I did an episode, a couple of episodes of that show on Netflix. I can't talk about up. I don't know why they told me to sign an NDA, but I did a show for Netflix and you know, Thai military draft. Yeah, I, I did the thing.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, good, good.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wore pink robe as a monk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or whatever. And I did that. But you know, call time five, I'll get to bed at 11.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

But if you're. But so you're. But when you don't have anything to do, you're just, you're sort of like

[Kalila]

well what else is there to do? Is what.

[Simon Helberg]

I guess sleeping to the until 4pm though is so excessive. Like if you go to. That's still just you got a lot of sleep is what you're saying. You get like lots of hours of sleep. You, you log a lot of hours. Yeah, okay.

[Kalila]

Yeah. But, but why do you think that's unhealthy?

[Simon Helberg]

Oh it's.

[Kalila]

Well why are you so surprised by it?

[Simon Helberg]

Well, you to wake up at 4:00pm yeah. Is surprising.

[Kalila]

Why?

[Simon Helberg]

Because nobody.

[Kalila]

Oh, nobody does it.

[Simon Helberg]

That's why.

[Kalila]

Oh, that's why.

[Simon Helberg]

Is that the why people, like people who work the night shift. Shift do it maybe or.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Like I would imagine if you were like in an ER or something.

[Kalila]

Yeah, right, right. Like, like that's a pit.

[Simon Helberg]

Yes.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Night shit at the pit.

[Simon Helberg]

I would imagine that. But then when you're like, no, it's just I got nothing to do. And then like what time do you go to bed? You're like 14 hours before I wake up. That's like.

[Kalila]

Okay, all right, okay. But. But as Cat knows, right. I'm at the Comedy Store pretty much every night.

[Simon Helberg]

That. See, this is what I was watching, wondering. So you're, you're work. You are working.

[Kalila]

Well, sometimes I hang out longer than I should be there. Like, you know, I mean, kind of

[Guest Comedian]

like late nights, maybe 11 o' clock tops.

[Kalila]

Yeah, but then the ritual of going to bed, you know, everyone has a ritual of going to bed. Am I not right or not? Raise your hand if you're a ritual.

[Simon Helberg]

Yes.

[Kalila]

No one's gonna raise their hand.

[Simon Helberg]

I'm not raising my hand.

[Kalila]

Okay, you do have a ritual.

[Simon Helberg]

What is your ritual?

[Kalila]

Yeah, what is your ritual to go to?

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, I mean it's. Well, it's not that like regimented, you know, it involves like. I take these vitamins, I brush my. It's not that crazy.

[Kalila]

No, I want to know exactly. You take what kind of vitamins?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, I want to know.

[Simon Helberg]

I want to know what supplements? Yeah, I take a couple. Magnesium, which.

[Bobby Lee]

What kind?

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, this is a good one. I know there's different kinds. It's not the kind that makes you have to like in your.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not the citrate.

[Simon Helberg]

No, it's the other one.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

So just to like take to relax a little.

[Bobby Lee]

The glycinate.

[Simon Helberg]

Yes, yes, the glisten. Okay, I take. Let's see, there's like a, A garlic mushroom immunity thing that I take every night. Yep.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Simon Helberg]

Two, two of those. All right. There's a. Oh, an NAC that's supposed to be very good for like anxiety. Cuz I take Proac. Not, not embarrassed to say that.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Love Proac.

[Simon Helberg]

It's the best thing ever.

[Kalila]

I'm on Lexa Pro and Ritalin.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

So, yeah. So this, the nac thing is supposed to work in.

[Kalila]

I can't come. I can't come. Come.

[Simon Helberg]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

It'll come back.

[Kalila]

It has today. I Did some.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, no.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. And it came.

[Bobby Lee]

It came back today.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, let's move on.

[Simon Helberg]

Wait, no. How long have you been taking those things? How long? How long have you been taking?

[Bobby Lee]

Two months only.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, so it's new.

[Kalila]

It's new. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

So. So the not coming is also new.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

Did you come for the first time today?

[Kalila]

No, I've been. I have to concentrate real bad.

[Simon Helberg]

Bad.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

That's what you were.

[Kalila]

That like the Idiot by Dostoevsky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to, like, concentrate real bad.

[Simon Helberg]

That helps.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Reading dos.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or whatever. His books, you know what I mean? Notes from the Underground. You know, I have to concentrate.

[Simon Helberg]

Right. Common Punishment. That's the title name.

[Kalila]

It's a great book. Common Punishment is a great book.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

It's Underrated by Dust.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. That always gets you.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, that gets me. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, so then Nac. And that's it.

[Simon Helberg]

Yes. And then. Yeah. And then I brush my teeth. I wear Invisalign at night because I. Apparently after you have braces, you're supposed to wear, like, retainer for the rest of your life. So they don't really tell you. I feel like they. They like literally give you a retainer and they're like, bye. And then 30 years go by and then my teeth were like, back to being kind of funky.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

So I wear the Invisalign and then I. Some. I'll put, like. Sometimes I'll put some cream under my eyes.

[Bobby Lee]

What kind?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Hemorrhoid. No, I just. The. The. Like the eye cream.

[Kalila]

Yeah, like an eye cream.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. But now I'm trying to switch it. My. My wife says that the. The Korean spot, like, Korean face care is like the best.

[Kalila]

So now we are the best.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

So.

[Simon Helberg]

So now I just got up like a. Literally as of a few days ago, I've got all these different Korean things, creams and stuff that I have not opened yet.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you gave me a bunch of creams for my birthday or something.

[Bobby Lee]

I did?

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Because you were using Drugstore for a long time and you were getting the boils.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I was getting the boils.

[Simon Helberg]

Wait, like I had boils on, like,

[Bobby Lee]

right here around his nose is when he gets.

[Simon Helberg]

But do you remember on Mad tv, I wouldn't have brought this up. No, no, no. What happened? Except what are the odds that someone right now is like, Bobby, Bobby boil.

[Kalila]

No, no, wait. I don't remember about the bo.

[Simon Helberg]

So at one point on man tv, I remember.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And you said, you Were into the bowls of drugs.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, but I never did. I didn't really.

[Kalila]

Do you never did any drugs?

[Simon Helberg]

No, I think, I think one time I took. Not with you though. I think one time I took like a value.

[Kalila]

Oh yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Someone at a party during the Mad tv and I was so. It just like knocked me out.

[Kalila]

It was probably from me because I had value.

[Simon Helberg]

Maybe it was a bowl of value. Maybe it was from you. Yeah, but. But I remember, yeah, at one point you were like. Like you. You took off your shirt, which you often did.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I think.

[Simon Helberg]

Didn't you often take off your shirt?

[Kalila]

Let's move on.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, but you were like, look at this. And you. You said you had like a. Like a boil under your arm.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Do you remember this? I. I'm sorry.

[Kalila]

Well, we used to date for 10 years. Oh, yeah, yeah. So she knows the boy, the armpit boy.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay, so okay, you guys dated for 10 years.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but not to hop. Not to hijack your armpit boil thing. So when I first met him, it must have not been that long after Mad tv because he had had a permanent blackhead in your armpit. And it would. The stuff would come out and it smelled so bad and you had it for years. It was my pleasure.

[Simon Helberg]

Wait, is this the face you make when you're trying to come.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you remember? It was my favorite. And oh my God, every three weeks I would just pop this thing and it was like, I would get so excited.

[Guest Comedian]

I love that.

[Simon Helberg]

That did it. Is that the thing?

[Bobby Lee]

Do you remember? It just looked like a black hole.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And it was a forever, like, pit of just like.

[Simon Helberg]

Like in the pit. Yeah, yeah, like the pit.

[Kalila]

I think that's where the boil was. Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And then what happened?

[Kalila]

It shrunk down to a black hole.

[Bobby Lee]

I missed that.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And black holes don't last forever.

[Simon Helberg]

Black holes. Now you're. Now you're Stephen Hawking.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And at the end of a black hole, there's a white hole. Hole.

[Bobby Lee]

But you were.

[Kalila]

If you go through a black hole, there's a white hole at the end. If you want to go. If you want to go Stephen Hawking, I can go Stephen Hawk.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I believe you have a crazy memory. Thank you for remembering that. Cuz then it jogged my.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

I remember you be like. There was a point, I think, where I knew you were. Had been taking drugs. Like, and you were, I think, trying to stop or like it was around the strokes time. I remember you said.

[Kalila]

Yeah, you.

[Simon Helberg]

You said what happened? You told me what happened.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And. And people were worried about you. And then I just do remember there was a time where you did take your shirt. I feel like you took your shirt off in a funny way. And you were like, look at this, look at this. And I was like, oh, my God. I remember being concerned. But then I heard that you were.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. The boil went away and the black. I could show you my armpit right now, live on camera. This is not live, but like on camera right now. And you will not see a black hole.

[Bobby Lee]

Hole I can. Congratulations.

[Kalila]

Will you look?

[Simon Helberg]

It's. That's not that high of a bar.

[Kalila]

No, but I just feel like I'm being accused. I'm a boil factory.

[Guest Comedian]

Can I see it?

[Kalila]

Yeah, you can see it. To see if there's any black holes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I think. You know, I. I believe you.

[Kalila]

No, no, no, look.

[Simon Helberg]

Why are you so defensive? Here he goes again.

[Kalila]

No, look. No, no, no, no.

[Guest Comedian]

Oh, you're.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, he is tan.

[Simon Helberg]

Simon, do we see anything for the audience?

[Guest Comedian]

How big are we supposed. How. How big?

[Kalila]

Come a little closer then. Catch.

[Simon Helberg]

Things are looking up.

[Kalila]

Yeah, things are looking up, though. Right, Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Kath, you want to look at the top left corner of the right armpit? That's where it used to be.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, that's a left. Left pit.

[Bobby Lee]

A left pit. Left pit right there.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that's a black hole.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

I can touch it. You can probably still pop it.

[Kalila]

Okay. All right.

[Simon Helberg]

You should talk to Netflix about the Pit starring Bobby Lee.

[Bobby Lee]

It's still there. Wouldn't you not see?

[Guest Comedian]

So cool.

[Simon Helberg]

It is so cool. It's old cell.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I guess I do have a black hole there. Yeah, yeah. But you know what? It doesn't smell. I think that's what really disturbs me about what you said.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but it's like anywhere. You know, when you, like, do. If you've had your ears pierced and you have the ear cheese, it smells like that.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's just like any area that's just.

[Kalila]

That's good on a cracker.

[Simon Helberg]

Ear cheese.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe put that out. That. That's not even fun.

[Simon Helberg]

Keep it. That's it. It also is in armpit, too.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. Well, here's the thing about Korean armpits. I don't know if. Can I throw you a fact, Please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That we don't have the glands for odor.

[Simon Helberg]

Not armpit order.

[Bobby Lee]

Some do.

[Kalila]

I don't.

[Simon Helberg]

Is that true?

[Bobby Lee]

Absolutely. Do not.

[Kalila]

I do not.

[Bobby Lee]

He has zero bo.

[Simon Helberg]

The vigorous nod over.

[Guest Comedian]

Wait you don't smell it all?

[Kalila]

No, no, Koreans, we don't have that. So. I've never bought deodorant before.

[Guest Comedian]

Is that why you think I smell

[Simon Helberg]

weird ABCC 11 gene?

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, I have the ABCC. ABCC.

[Simon Helberg]

You don't sound as smart as you did before. Behind every black hole is a white hole.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

I don't have every abc.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I don't have that.

[Simon Helberg]

That's blowing my mind.

[Kalila]

It is. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Not just Koreans, like, just a lot of Asians. Like, my mom has zero odor, but I got my dad's. What?

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. Cuz you're half white. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And what is your mom?

[Bobby Lee]

Filipino.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Just zero sense.

[Kalila]

Do you have odor, Cat?

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah, 100%.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, I do too.

[Guest Comedian]

I got, I got whatever that is. Not.

[Kalila]

I, I see a BCC12. Do you have odor, Simon?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, I mean, I think, yeah, but I have this thing where I have a very. I have like no sense of smell from COVID No, I, I. No, I don't know what. And no one can tell me what it's from.

[Bobby Lee]

Since you were a kid?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, Like, I, I've. I think I used to have a. Like a kind of. A little bit more of a sense, but never great. And now I'd say probably like 80% missing. Oh, but I can taste.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Oh, you can taste.

[Simon Helberg]

Clearly not probably as well as. But I also have that thing, you know that they call it like, what is it like Atlas tongue or the,

[Bobby Lee]

you know, the geographic tongue.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And I don't know if that's.

[Bobby Lee]

That's.

[Simon Helberg]

What's that part of it? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Tell me about what the tongue is like when you take. I have a geographic tongue where it's just very rough. Like, look at his tongue.

[Guest Comedian]

It's like.

[Kalila]

Oh, I see. That's rough. Yeah, yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

Is that fully extended?

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, no, sorry. You don't want to back up?

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

It's not about the length.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

The marking, it's got like the ridges.

[Kalila]

You got the ridges and stuff.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

So I feel like you can taste good or.

[Simon Helberg]

No, no, no. I think that's also part of what's. And maybe it's connected. And then if you go to like an acupuncturist and you do that, they'. Whoa, Jesus Christ. Because everything they, they can tell is by the tongue.

[Bobby Lee]

No, yours is very smooth.

[Simon Helberg]

There it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I, I don't know if that's connected to my sense of smell. And then of course, because they look

[Guest Comedian]

like they have little countries.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, okay. That other stuff is not wrong.

[Kalila]

The one to the left looks like the Straight of Hormuz.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, That's.

[Kalila]

That's amazing. Not open yet. Not open.

[Simon Helberg]

Very timely.

[Kalila]

Yeah, it's a timely.

[Simon Helberg]

Time of this recording.

[Kalila]

It'll still be closed, but anyway.

[Guest Comedian]

Do you have that as well?

[Bobby Lee]

A little bit, but not as, like, deep of your ridges, but I do. I don't have a smooth tongue.

[Simon Helberg]

Some of that is disgusting.

[Bobby Lee]

A lot of that is not ge.

[Simon Helberg]

No, right. A lot of that is. Oh, there it is. The one on the right. That's kind of what, my tongue?

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

The other ones are like, yeah, threatening.

[Kalila]

The other one's threatening. Yeah, yeah, it's threatening. Like, see the tongue right there to the right? That's above Simon's tongue. That one. One. That one. Yeah. Click on that one, please.

[Bobby Lee]

That looks like a.

[Guest Comedian]

That could be a lot of things.

[Simon Helberg]

I know it really?

[Kalila]

No, to the one. Yeah. That one. Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

That looks like ball.

[Kalila]

It looks like balls. If a. A woman would have to be incredibly beautiful for me to.

[Simon Helberg]

For you to deal with kiss her,

[Bobby Lee]

but you wouldn't know that it looks either. Tongue up front.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, you wouldn't.

[Guest Comedian]

You wouldn't be like, show me.

[Kalila]

I open with tongue.

[Simon Helberg]

You open with.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. At a first date. Show me your tongue.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, like an acupuncturist would.

[Kalila]

Yeah, right. Yeah, maybe that's. I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they see.

[Simon Helberg]

Well, yeah, you're showing everyone your pits.

[Kalila]

My what?

[Simon Helberg]

Your pits.

[Kalila]

Yeah, my pits. Yeah, like, show me the tongue. I've never even thought in my life that I've known you. Like, I've even considered your tongue.

[Simon Helberg]

I appreciate it.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Thank you.

[Kalila]

I never thought to myself, wow, Simon Alberg has.

[Bobby Lee]

You have fomo. Because you cannot if someone's like, do you smell that?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. So I. Yes, I really do. Day or night, Verbo Care is here 247 to help make every part of your stay safe seamless. If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready

[Kalila]

whenever you reach out. From the moment you book to the

[Simon Helberg]

moment you head home. We're here to help things run smoothly because a great trip starts with the right support. And, hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Simon Helberg]

It really does kind of suck. Like I feel and I, I, you know, I can smell like a cologne sort of momentarily or a perfume or like a coffee, like the first moments of it, but that I cannot. But then it kind of goes away and then I can't pick out like if I walk into a house and something is burning, I, I don't smell it. Wow, that's so la fires.

[Guest Comedian]

Did you.

[Simon Helberg]

I could smell that like when I walked outside. But then again it's like, it's just very bad. It's like very obstruction because in your

[Kalila]

area there was some fire.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, that was the worst part about the fires.

[Kalila]

I couldn't smell it. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

So tragic.

[Kalila]

Yeah. If you're blind, you're screwed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

It was a tragic day.

[Kalila]

It's a tragic day.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah. No, I don't know what it's about but you know, and then on top of it, because I've got such a pronounced nose, it really add like there's an irony and then it feels.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Like when I say I can't smell, people are like, oh, I thought you were making a joke.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Simon Helberg]

You can smell everything.

[Kalila]

Right? Right?

[Simon Helberg]

Nope.

[Kalila]

I've never noticed your nose. I like your nose.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Kalila]

It's very stoic, presidential.

[Simon Helberg]

Wow.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Like on a coin, if you let me see your.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, on a coin.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

It's a good President Hellberg.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's good. It's, yeah. My odds of ending up on a coin.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. Did you get your nose from your mom's side or your dad's side of the family? It could be either it's pretty bad.

[Simon Helberg]

I think my mom. But it's pretty rough, both sides.

[Kalila]

You do big noses are attracted to other big noses noises?

[Simon Helberg]

I. No, but I think some people. I.

[Kalila]

What.

[Guest Comedian]

What's that face that felt like a black person joke?

[Kalila]

Oh, in what way? Oh, in one way.

[Simon Helberg]

Look out.

[Kalila]

Hello.

[Simon Helberg]

Are you gonna play a song?

[Kalila]

No, I'm not gonna. It's not even on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In what way?

[Guest Comedian]

Nothing.

[Kalila]

No, no, no, no. Don't do this.

[Simon Helberg]

No.

[Guest Comedian]

Because it gets really quiet whenever I say that, so.

[Kalila]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It wasn't. Had no references to black people.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, I think it was a Jewish thing.

[Kalila]

Oh, no, I don't think it was a Jewish thing.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh. Oh, sorry.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. I love the Jews.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Yeah, Y. Black people. I love black people too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do. I love everybody.

[Simon Helberg]

Who else has big noses?

[Kalila]

I've seen a lot of like, Hmong have big noses.

[Simon Helberg]

You're saying. You were saying, do big noses. Do big noses.

[Kalila]

I feel like I'm being trapped in a corner and I will fight my way out conversations. No, no, I'm not going to get out because I got need to fight my way out.

[Simon Helberg]

All right, I want to know, were you trying to say. Were you making a point about, like, do big nose people, like, are they attracted to other big.

[Kalila]

I know that this. Okay. I want to. I know this. I. When I look for a mate, they have to be the opposite.

[Simon Helberg]

It. Yeah. So I think.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Simon Helberg]

Because like, so my nose is like. I feel like I. I'm insecure or I was really insecure about my nose. So then I feel like there's some sort of allure of the. Of something different of like the. Of somebody with a, like a perfect nose is like an alluring.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Thing. But then. But I. I think like, like my wife does. She has a very French. No, it's not like a tiny nose. It's really like a. And then. But if you go like when I've gone and traveled around, like to Brazil, I remember that there's like an exotic thing about big nose or big eyes are very.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. Very exotic and very beautiful.

[Simon Helberg]

It's hard to see yourself clear.

[Kalila]

I love big butts.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. You cannot lie.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One thing I wanted to say back to Coachella real quick, and I haven't talked about. It's something that I came just thought of just real quick. Speaking of noses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Has nothing to do with noses.

[Simon Helberg]

No.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is. And I just. I. I'm not. I don't want to spark any controversy. And it. It's something that we can cut out if you want. Right. But you know, during the performances, there was a. For the deaf people. The sign language.

[Simon Helberg]

Right.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Who was that?

[Simon Helberg]

For the deaf people.

[Kalila]

Oh, I see. Oh, I thought, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

You really set that up.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, I really set that up. Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

But you feel that it's not.

[Kalila]

I just feel like if I was deaf, you know what I mean, I wouldn't go. Right, right.

[Simon Helberg]

I can see what you're saying.

[Kalila]

Yeah. But you know what? Everyone has a right to go.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but there's so many degrees of deafness because it's true.

[Simon Helberg]

The hearing impaired can be.

[Kalila]

There's.

[Simon Helberg]

There's so many levels.

[Bobby Lee]

But also someone who is fully, like, you know, someone who is also fully deaf could possibly want to know what's being said on stage. Even if they can't hear music, the lyrics. Lyrics still matter.

[Kalila]

They can feel the bass.

[Simon Helberg]

They might want to have sushi in a tent.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I see. I see.

[Guest Comedian]

They want the end. Okay.

[Kalila]

That's all I'm asking is a question. I answered and you answered. And you know what? Guess what? You won that.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Simon Helberg]

But I think, yeah, you won that.

[Kalila]

And I learned. And that's all. I wasn't saying anything bad. You know what I mean? I'm learning from you.

[Bobby Lee]

So apparently, back to the big Mills thing. Apparently. Because of just the.

[Simon Helberg]

No. You mentioned to me before, Kalila, that women are.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Simon Helberg]

Guys with big noses.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, exactly. So I know, like, the last decade, like, men with big noses have really.

[Simon Helberg]

That's. That monkey.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

That's a certain kind of monkey. Yes. This is a primal.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a primal thing. But you know how a lot of that's not. A lot of that's not you at all. Women feel the pressure to not have big noses. I feel like men are like, we can have big noses. This is an attractive trait. So women, like, have gotten a lot of, like, nose jobs, say, for instance. But they're saying, seeing that 20, 27, things are starting to, like, take a turn. And now it's like, women with big noses is going to become, like, a thing because everyone's just so sick of the nose job look.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. It's all looking the same.

[Bobby Lee]

It's all. Everyone's starting.

[Kalila]

I also hate it. I've never thought, oh, she looks better.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah, yeah, it's got a good nose.

[Kalila]

It's like, I have a button.

[Guest Comedian]

Perfect little button.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, it's a button.

[Simon Helberg]

I think it's Just like a proportion. You know, it's proportionate to your face

[Kalila]

is so proportionate, emotional. Because you have a long face as well.

[Simon Helberg]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, but you're into that. You're into long faces.

[Kalila]

If you were a woman, Simon, I would be your.

[Simon Helberg]

Yes, but you guys dated.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but see, I have a nose.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So he's into.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He likes chin, jawline and nose.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay. Yeah, I. I wish I had more like jaw, you know, chin and jaw. Yeah, that really balances out the.

[Kalila]

No, because I'll tell you why you wouldn't want that.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Right. Because you're so castable.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, I see why you dated this guy.

[Kalila]

No, you. You are.

[Simon Helberg]

You're very cast because of my.

[Kalila]

Not. Well, because you're a great actor.

[Simon Helberg]

Thank you.

[Kalila]

Right. But also you have a great look.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay.

[Guest Comedian]

Great hair.

[Kalila]

You have great hair. You're like. Yeah, you're smart. You're a great actor. You have all the things.

[Simon Helberg]

Now we're getting somewhere.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, we've always been.

[Simon Helberg]

You can cut the rest out.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, we've. Yeah, we've always been there. I've always thought that you. I mean, you know, mean, look at your resume. I mean, you're very castable person.

[Simon Helberg]

You were always very nice.

[Kalila]

And when I was. I was drawn to you because I go, this guy is funny.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, you were so nice.

[Kalila]

Yeah, you're a very funny guy and you had a cool look and you have all the ingredients to be, you know, I mean, a superstar.

[Simon Helberg]

Well, you're very kind. You always were very.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. And I think, cat, you have a good look as well.

[Simon Helberg]

I do too, cat.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

No, you don't.

[Kalila]

I do. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I not attracted to you. No. She has sort of like a cartoony look that I like. Like, if I saw you on a show, I'd be like, oh, this is going to be a funny show. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

I'm not attracted to her. I'm not attracted to you. But you do look like yosef and that is for me.

[Kalila]

Well, when you watch monsters inc. Do you go, oh, there are some attractive.

[Guest Comedian]

You think I look like Mike solowski?

[Kalila]

No, no, no, no, no, no. But you know me like a pixar. Whatever, whatever. No, you have a sitcom look.

[Guest Comedian]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

How. How do you guys know each other? Oh, just. AI says you are highly castable.

[Kalila]

Yeah, very castable.

[Simon Helberg]

It ran the numbers.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, good.

[Kalila]

Yeah. You probably test well. Yeah, yeah. Cuz you seem.

[Bobby Lee]

You.

[Kalila]

You have a friendly face.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay.

[Kalila]

All that stuff goes into.

[Simon Helberg]

Did it say something about. Notably with Quentin Tarantino. I've never worked with Quint.

[Kalila]

Yeah. But even if you're Jewish, I think that you're Paul Rust.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, no, exactly.

[Kalila]

Yeah. They think that you're Paul B.J.

[Simon Helberg]

novak.

[Kalila]

Novak. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

AI has even gotten.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Wow. Yeah, we need. Yeah.

[Kalila]

Wow. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

You have a. I thought AI was just foolproof.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Seems like. I thought we're going in a great direction with this.

[Kalila]

This AI the Chat GPT. I hate it.

[Simon Helberg]

Just kidding. It's.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't even read anyone's captions anymore.

[Kalila]

It's. When you ask ChatGPT any question, it plays down the middle so hard.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

That it drives me crazy.

[Simon Helberg]

Mistakes. You forgot other Semitic looking people. That's how down the middle it is. It's like I don't even want to commit to who you are.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

It's really.

[Kalila]

It has no logic to it. Yeah. It just stays down the line.

[Guest Comedian]

Sometimes you. I use it for, like, help with mental stuff.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, that's really so. You know, I'm not saying this is a segue. I. I'd be stupid if I didn't segue because the sh. The show that I'm doing now, it.

[Kalila]

Are you plugging a show now?

[Simon Helberg]

Well, I'm. I am saying this because it is an insane segment. You just. You set it up. I'm on a show called the Audacity that's on amc and it is about the toxic little bubble of Silicon Valley. And I play this really socially stunted, brilliant genius who sort of peaked young and now is, like, living in the Valley as a pariah in his garage, developing this AI companion that he wants to put out into the world to help. Help, like, alienated teenagers. Wow. Basically like a therapy bot. And it's such a. It's such a.

[Kalila]

Where are you on the poster?

[Simon Helberg]

I'm. Oh, I'm in the top right.

[Kalila]

Oh, you can barely see your face. Can you zoom down or.

[Simon Helberg]

No, but it's actually. That's BJ Novak.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

But it's such a. Like a prevalent thing now that. Because also no one can afford healthcare, which is just tragic. And then everybody's like, feeding their. All of the darkness and all of the secrets into the computer, giving it to them.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

But I don't really care if it

[Simon Helberg]

knows, but does it help?

[Guest Comedian]

Sometimes. Like yesterday I used it and I vented and I.

[Simon Helberg]

You know, really.

[Bobby Lee]

And.

[Simon Helberg]

And in Chat GPT.

[Guest Comedian]

Chat gbt.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

And it just told me, like, what

[Kalila]

Kind of questions would you ask it to?

[Guest Comedian]

Yesterday I was like, should I text this guy? Like, it's been a few days, and

[Simon Helberg]

I don't know if I should.

[Guest Comedian]

I should text him and I should really focus on my career right now.

[Kalila]

Text me.

[Guest Comedian]

No, you never text me back. You. You're the worst person to. To text. If I need to help on my mental health.

[Kalila]

That's not a mental health issue. If I should, I text somebody back.

[Guest Comedian]

Yes, it is.

[Kalila]

No, it's. It's limerence or something.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, limerence.

[Simon Helberg]

Limerence.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's talk about that.

[Simon Helberg]

Isn't limerence like an obsessive?

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

So isn't that mental health stuff?

[Kalila]

That is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

I just wanted to use that word. He just wanted.

[Kalila]

I just want to use the word,

[Simon Helberg]

I think, called gas. Gaslighting.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that's called gas. Yeah, that's called gaslighting.

[Simon Helberg]

No, you dummy.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay. Yeah.

[Kalila]

So, yeah. So you and. So2day. You texted him, and then you don't

[Simon Helberg]

want to talk, like, relationship stuff?

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah, I just texted, like, relationship stuff.

[Kalila]

Yeah, but he didn't text you back for two days.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah, that.

[Kalila]

You know what that means? I can tell you. Yeah. Get out.

[Guest Comedian]

Okay. Yeah, because he's out.

[Kalila]

I'm just saying that if I really like a girl. You know what I mean? But I still want to play the game. Game? What?

[Bobby Lee]

Listen to this. He's actually telling the truth.

[Guest Comedian]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Okay. If I like a girl and I want to play the game.

[Bobby Lee]

Unless he's, like, cast away on an island and he just doesn't have his phone. Like two days. Go ahead, Bobby.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Guest Comedian]

I feel like you're about to. It looks like.

[Kalila]

Are you about to cry?

[Bobby Lee]

Why would I be crying?

[Kalila]

I don't know. What is going on here?

[Simon Helberg]

So cool.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that'd be so cool, right? Clippable. Really Clippable. So what I'm saying is that. That if two days go by, he doesn't like you.

[Guest Comedian]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Okay. If I wait, probably. If I'm trying to play the game, like, you know, I mean, not be too needy, you mean? But also play cool. But I really like her. Maybe five hours. Five hours, Six hours, maybe.

[Guest Comedian]

Oh, no.

[Bobby Lee]

How long has it been?

[Guest Comedian]

It's been. It's been three days.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I mean, how long is it? How long have you been seeing this person?

[Guest Comedian]

I saw him for, like. Like a month. And then I messaged him, and then he didn't message me back, so then I messaged Chat GPT and I was like, hey, it's me. What about this guy? And he's like, oh, he's Chat. GBC is like, he's probably busy.

[Bobby Lee]

Chad is. This is. You're right, Chad is Chad.

[Kalila]

Yeah, Chad GPT.

[Simon Helberg]

Hey, Chad. What are you doing tonight?

[Kalila]

Yeah, but. Yeah, is he in the Amazon?

[Guest Comedian]

No, he's in Burbank.

[Kalila]

Oh, he's a Burbank. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

So you have to tell Chat GPT. Like, do you have to describe the. The situation, like the circumstances and who this guy is?

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah, because.

[Simon Helberg]

Because if. If does Chachi BT say something like dumb like, is he in the Amazon? No, no, no. Because like, if he really.

[Kalila]

I'm sorry. Yeah, I apologize. Right. No. But I'm gonna fight again against us. Okay, okay.

[Simon Helberg]

Can we just skip to the part where I let you win?

[Kalila]

Because it's not a win lose thing. I'm just saying that some guys, the kind of guys that she likes. Oh, okay, right. Are skaterish.

[Guest Comedian]

That was one guy.

[Kalila]

Okay, but they're. I know what they dress like. What?

[Simon Helberg]

What's that have to do with the Amazon?

[Kalila]

Yeah, because a lot of the kind of guys that she likes would probably go to the Amazon, right? And study. And study. Not a skate. There's no skateboard in Amazon, are there? Yeah, in the middle of the Amazon, there's a skate park. That's the only place you two horigomi goes there. Yeah. Okay. Great skater, by the way, and the future of skateboarding. But my point is, Jin Woo, that's another skateboarder. But what I'm saying is the kind of guys that you date in my. Just based on the data that I have gathered are guys that probably would go to the Amazon and explore, like, you know, I mean, primal villages and all and whatnot, you know, so should

[Guest Comedian]

I just keep waiting?

[Kalila]

But what does he do for living?

[Guest Comedian]

Well, he's. He's in between jobs right now.

[Kalila]

Oh, so yeah, you're out.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

He doesn't have an excuse.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And you tell Chat GPT that. Do you think?

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah, I was like, this guy, he's. He's okay, he's nice, but doesn't have a job, hasn't texted me back. Maybe he doesn't have a phone plan. Maybe that's what's going on.

[Kalila]

No.

[Guest Comedian]

Okay.

[Kalila]

A pay phone.

[Bobby Lee]

I would have you know it's by hooker crook.

[Guest Comedian]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, if a guy is into you, I feel as though, like, he'll find a way. But also, do you tell chat like. Like we've been intimate this many times. We've seen, we've been on this many dates. Do you go into that detail? I wonder if you did what. What the response would actually be, if it would be more specific.

[Guest Comedian]

I think. Yeah. Well, right now, ChatGPT is just giving me hope when maybe there's no hope

[Simon Helberg]

that I have heard that that's a. That's a common chat.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Because chat is positive, right?

[Guest Comedian]

Is it chat or chat?

[Simon Helberg]

It's chat. Chath. We can' that far off from you saying, like, my name is giving my. Giving your name and giving the name of the. The guy. And then AI just pulls all the real data from both of you guys and starts to actually do that. That's. That's where we're heading.

[Kalila]

You'd also have to, like, connect it to the government and their information.

[Simon Helberg]

So it's just going to be like, it's going to know all of your, like, issues, all of your spending, all of your. And then you give the name of the guy and then it starts to be like. Like, oh, okay. I can look at literally these two specific people, which is a horrifying thing.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

I think we are heading that.

[Bobby Lee]

At the end of the year last year, I asked Chat what my blind spot was.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And it told me my blind spot was being on Chat and asking Chat too much.

[Kalila]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

It told me that I was very anxious about, like, medical stuff around my baby.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And it was to let go of that.

[Kalila]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, oh, weird.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

Do you think that's true?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, nailed it.

[Guest Comedian]

Okay. So. Yeah. So he's not going to text me back.

[Kalila]

I'm sorry.

[Simon Helberg]

That's what you took from that.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

But can I say, may I say this, though?

[Guest Comedian]

What?

[Kalila]

What?

[Guest Comedian]

I'm castable?

[Kalila]

No, no, you're castable. Right. And number am I like Simon. And number two, I believe that you're a rising comedian because you wouldn't be on this podcast if I didn't feel a certain thing about you. And other people have said the same thing. Thing that are at my level. And I think that you should focus on your career.

[Guest Comedian]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Because it's a very important time in your career and you. You can get dick later.

[Guest Comedian]

Okay.

[Kalila]

No, I'll tell Chat you can't get dick later.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no. You could yell out a window and get 10 dicks flying your way at any time.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a girl.

[Simon Helberg]

Of course I'm imagining that you're her parents right now.

[Kalila]

Yeah. The worst, worst advice this exact. It's the worst advice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

Can hear me yelling out the window. I need ten Dicks.

[Simon Helberg]

Wait, how did you guys meet then? Did you meet doing comedy?

[Kalila]

So she's a, I mean. Okay, so I'll tell you how it works, if I may.

[Simon Helberg]

No, please. Too. Well, I mean it. How it, I'll tell you how.

[Kalila]

Well, how, tell me how in the standup comedy.

[Simon Helberg]

And you're stand up, right?

[Kalila]

Yeah, very funny. Stand up. Okay. So, so I already did Detroit. It went really good. And I already did Indianapolis. That was really good. Thanks for coming out. Yeah, yeah, Real great show.

[Simon Helberg]

I was there too.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be there. Oh, yeah. So she's opening for me. Amazing, right? So it's like, and Ramsey Badawi is opening. And so what you do is you covet like Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs. Yeah, yeah, but, but you don't covet in like, like the, like skin taking part. That's, yeah, right, right. It's very nice. Right? You covet like what's rising. It's like the stocks. Yeah, right. And so I, you know, I stock it out, right? And I go, this person. And this person is rising. I'm going to grab them and they're going to.

[Simon Helberg]

It was more comforting when you're talking about the dicks.

[Kalila]

Really. I'm going to grab him.

[Simon Helberg]

He's like, only serial killers and dicks.

[Kalila]

No, no, no. What I'm saying is, let me reword it. Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

You're, you're like me, you're mentoring. It's the.

[Kalila]

So Ramsey Badowi is this Persian dude. That's very funny. You're right. He's a Palestinian.

[Bobby Lee]

He's Palestinian.

[Kalila]

Persian.

[Bobby Lee]

And he's not. Yeah, he's not from Iran.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

I, I, he's not even a standup. Not a real person.

[Kalila]

A real person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. And so he's a Palestinian comic. American. Right. Very funny. I think he has a future. I think Kat has a future. And you go to the comedy clubs and you, and you see young comics go up and you go, you ask them, will you open for me? And they always say yes. And then, you know, Ramsey been on this podcast and you make bets on people's careers. You know what I mean?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And so that's why Kat's here. You know what I mean?

[Guest Comedian]

So it's like put $2 on my.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, I can see.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. So what I'm saying to you is that, you know what I mean, it breaks my heart when you're focusing on the wrong thing. That's my belief.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

You know what I mean?

[Guest Comedian]

Get it?

[Kalila]

Yeah. You do you or.

[Guest Comedian]

No, no, I do get it. I just, I feel sometimes like in standup it can be very lonely.

[Kalila]

You're going to be lonely forever. Standup is a lonely business.

[Simon Helberg]

It seems so lonely,

[Guest Comedian]

but it's hard. It feels like it's like super isolating, especially now. So you're like, oh, it's nice to like, maybe try to have a. I

[Kalila]

don't know, a partner.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah, not a partner, but about just someone.

[Kalila]

Someone there.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Guest Comedian]

But maybe. No maybe it's just right.

[Kalila]

Okay, well, you know, if you. Okay, so what I want to say is that if you find somebody. But no, that calls you back.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah, I know.

[Kalila]

You know what I mean? Then I would support that. I know, but in this particular. Am I doing it right? Yeah. In this particular situation. Right. It doesn't seem like it's the case. Case.

[Guest Comedian]

He's not.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I. And I don't want you to be. You mean ruminating about a guy when you should be focusing on writing jokes and getting better.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Okay, I hear. Because, you know, you started later in life, 45, you're in your early 30s when you started.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Right. And this is the time.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

You know, I agree. Is that good advice, Simon, or not?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, no, I was like, swept. I was swept away.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, it's definitely better than the Dicks.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah. Also. Yeah, I know. I just recently saw the movie, you know.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, it felt that way.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah. And Hannibal Lecter said that to what's her. Clarice. Yeah, Clarice.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Speech you just gave was a Hannibal Lecter.

[Kalila]

No, but he basically said, like, you mean you covet what you see. Yeah, that's what he said. You know, I mean, he escapes the whole thing. You know what I mean?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kalila]

If you haven't seen the movie. Movie. Spoiler alert.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, yeah,

[Kalila]

yeah. But like, that's why. That's what I do. You know what I mean? But not in the Buffalo Bill way. But let's move on. I don't want to do serial killer references again.

[Simon Helberg]

No.

[Kalila]

For the rest of the podcast.

[Guest Comedian]

Did you always have that focus on your career, both of you?

[Simon Helberg]

Well, did you always know you wanted to be a stand up?

[Kalila]

Yeah, I mean, I mean, I. I start at 23 and I. Once I did it, then I was like, I think this is it.

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

But I didn't know. I was so confused and lost before that I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. And I just happened To. There was a help wanted sign at the Comedy Store, and I knocked on the door.

[Simon Helberg]

Really?

[Kalila]

In La Jolla, San Diego. Wow. And then nine months later after that, I was opening for Paulie in Vegas in front of 5,000. And then people. It was like, incredible. Incredible. And then I started opening for Mencia a lot. And then five years later, I got mad.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, my God.

[Kalila]

Yeah. So it's like.

[Guest Comedian]

So your rise was, like, pretty rapid seven years later.

[Kalila]

I mean. Yeah. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

So you had like a very. Yeah. You just were naturally ready to be on.

[Kalila]

Well, I. I was. You. You get addicted to it. And it's also my instinct is like, you know, a lot of people don't have the right ears. Right. Some people are bad. And they go, I just did good. Good. I have the polar opposite.

[Guest Comedian]

Opposite.

[Kalila]

Yeah, that's why. That's why you're good. No, you know, I mean, I always think I did bad. I always think I did bad. Or are you like that you do a take.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

And you. And. And you go, I didn't like that. But they're like, let's move on.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Kalila]

And you're like. And you. Yeah. And you say, can I have another one?

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Do they give you another one now? They do.

[Kalila]

And now.

[Simon Helberg]

Now I'm finally at the point where I, like, literally have to go into a quiet place and. And just allow myself to be done, like, to not ask for another take. Because I know that I could ask and I know that I would get one. And I now have to, like, listen to. I just have to have better self talk and more. More confidence in those moments. And I'm just like, they'll tell me if I need to do another one.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

But it's very hard. Like, once in a while you're like, I. I gotta do it again. But I would just sit there all day because I never feel good.

[Kalila]

Yeah, but on a. On like Big Bang Theory, right, You're in front of a live audience. You' instant reaction from the laugh.

[Simon Helberg]

Yes.

[Kalila]

Right. So that. So that gives you the confidence to go, let's move on.

[Simon Helberg]

I ne. In that situation, we never. We never really asked for. For more. It was just kind of like you. You could feel it. Even if you didn't love what you did, you knew that it. You could tell that it worked and they were just gonna keep going. And it was not. That call came from, like, the higher ups.

[Kalila]

Oh, right, right, right.

[Simon Helberg]

Because it was an audience. It was like, you know, it was like a rock and roll Show.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, it didn't.

[Simon Helberg]

You weren't really able to be like, can I of kind. I just sneak back out and you know, once they say moving on, it's like the, you know, the song starts playing and they're throwing candy and you're

[Kalila]

like, wow, so you've never done a scene twice?

[Simon Helberg]

No, no, we would do it twice, but I just wouldn't ask for more. Like, you know, you do it two times or something and then if. If you felt kind of like you just. You just didn't ask for more, maybe

[Kalila]

once in a while they would ask. They would be like, hey, we. We should do it again. And here's some changes.

[Simon Helberg]

We always did it more than once, but. Because you just gotta get a couple times. And usually it was to change jokes and to.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

And. And sometimes you would change the whole scene if it didn't work. But once it started getting laughs, that was sort of the. The barometer.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

You know, and that was. That was a call from like producers that was like Chuck Lorre saying, hey, if you got 300 people laughing here, then odds are, you know, 30 million are gonna laugh at home.

[Kalila]

Wow. Wow.

[Simon Helberg]

That's sort of the, like.

[Kalila]

Well, that's like. So. So that's like standups, right. If I. If I'm getting a big laugh, I can feel it. Right. And I just move on or maybe add. But it's like. But here's the problem in a single camera, because I've done a lot of singles. Yeah. Where it's like, there's no laugh.

[Simon Helberg]

You don't know.

[Kalila]

You don't know. Right. And so that's when you want to. I wish I was at a power where I. Can I see it? Are you at that level where you can see it?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah, sometimes. But I tend to not want to. I'll watch sometimes, like just to see if it like actually like with the sound off. I just want to sometimes see how it looks and see what is coming across and. But I try not to do that too much either. But it is true. Like, you don't know how it's going to be. You don't know what it's going to feel like in a single camera. You don't have any sense. Really.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Are we all making the same show or the same movie? Because it's all going to be together later.

[Kalila]

Yeah. It's so hard.

[Simon Helberg]

And yeah, it does just require sort of leaning in and trusting because no one can laugh.

[Guest Comedian]

Laugh.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Say set, quiet. No one can laugh. So you have no Idea if it's funny or not.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. And then if you start working towards a laugh in that environment, it's terrible. You're like, you know, but I. That. This. It's not even the. Whether it's funny or not.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

I just. Sometimes you're like. You just don't know if.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

How it's.

[Kalila]

You have. There's a lot of trust that goes in.

[Simon Helberg]

There's. There's a lot of trust, and that's why it's like.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

If you're working with people you trust, then they'll tell you if they. If you need to do it again.

[Kalila]

The problem is if you don't trust them.

[Simon Helberg]

Exactly.

[Kalila]

Some independent stuff where, like. I don't believe you.

[Simon Helberg]

That is exactly, like. Exactly. Because you, you know, like, if you've got a great director and you've got a great editor, like, yeah. Somewhere in there, someone is gonna say to you, like, yeah, you're great. We got what we need.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Simon Helberg]

It doesn't always have to feel good to you, but if you're not working with competent people.

[Kalila]

Right, right.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah. It's scary. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Because sometimes you see it put together and you're like, that was terrible.

[Kalila]

Terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

It's.

[Kalila]

It's. It's hard.

[Guest Comedian]

Is there a lot of, like, yes men that are like, oh, you did great, but, you know, in your bones that you didn't?

[Kalila]

No. I don't think the studios and real directors and people that have vision are yes men.

[Guest Comedian]

Okay.

[Kalila]

No, because they. It's like, they see it and they know what they want and they know what they need. So if you're not giving that, they're gonna ask you to do it again. You know what I mean?

[Guest Comedian]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I mean. I mean, I. I've. I just did it a month ago, and they're Were like, all right, take that line out and add this line. It'll make more sense when this person. Because he just improvised this line. Right, right. And then you kind of go, okay. And then you do it. You know, I mean, but it's like. But I trust them, you know? I mean, it's like, people. I really trust you. I mean. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

I have a question about the therapy bot.

[Kalila]

Okay.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Wow. We're just. I love this. This is like a Pulp Fiction.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I.

[Kalila]

We start with Coachella, then I add Coachella at the end. Right. We're going back and forth. I love it. I love it.

[Bobby Lee]

I never left my head. Are you building an honest therapy bot or are you building something based on your own personal experience on the show.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. So in the show, I think what makes the specific AI entity that my character is building a little bit different than, like, ChatGPT is that it is curated from. From his own experiences and his own set of ethics and values. It's not, like, pulled. Because ChatGPT pulls from just the entire Internet. Right. And you don't. Actually. Part of the problem is you don't really know what it's favoring. Like, so you don't know the values of. When you ask ChatGPT, like, should I, you know, I got into this fight with my friend, and should I break it off with them because they tend to do this to me, or should I try? Like, how do you know that the values of the Internet or the way that ChatGPT is, like, if it's pulling mainly from, you know, different classes and different ethnicities and different levels of intellect, like, it could be totally skewed in a terrible direction. So, like, in the show. So, yeah, my character is, like, building it from the inside out as a

[Bobby Lee]

trusted, but based on his own morality, right?

[Simon Helberg]

Yes, but which is also insane because, again, most of these people, the OpenAI people who are the ChatGPT people are the people deciding, again, exactly how we socialize, how these, like these, These bots are able to socialize or what kind of cues they take, but they themselves are so inept in that, you know,

[Bobby Lee]

like, probably bankrupt, too.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. These people aren't very good at communicating necessarily, generally. And they're not really. They're. They're sociopaths, most of them. So how are they creating the, you know, the. This. This. This new way of communicating and the new kind of these entities that we're supposed to like.

[Kalila]

And there's no guardrails, right? Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I just wonder if there was, in fact, like, a therapy bot I could buy today if I would use, because obviously I've been in therapy for a long time, but there is something so easy about being like, oh, you're right there. Let me just ask you.

[Simon Helberg]

I think they're. Yeah. A lot of them are trying to develop, like, specific. I mean, I think there's. I. I know Mark Zuckerberg at one point was trying to. To. They're all trying to do it, but it's just so scary because, again, like, the. They're. They're not. They're not in touch emotionally, I don't think.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

You know, as much as it's hard to imagine that we'd be getting advice

[Kalila]

from, it's all about the bottom dollar. It's about money.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

You know what I mean? And it has nothing to do with the human race and the direction that we're going.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, could you imagine anyone being better than your therapist, Bobby?

[Kalila]

Wow. I don't. I can't imagine.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, you think very highly of her, right?

[Kalila]

She's like my mother or something.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Yeah. I mean, I love her so much and she. She knows me so well and. But I don't. I mean, I believe that one day singularity is going to happen and there's going to be consciousness and that they're going to have feelings and they're going to. I do.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I know.

[Kalila]

And emotions and they.

[Simon Helberg]

What? Compute.

[Guest Comedian]

Robots.

[Kalila]

Yeah. AI.

[Simon Helberg]

Uhhuh.

[Kalila]

And then they're. They're also going to claim that they have a soul.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

You know what I mean? And at that point, who knows? Maybe they. They do. They are going to be better. You know what I mean? And they'll big up old titties. Mine will have a big old titties. Yeah. Cans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll have a thousand of them.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

I'm going to dress up like a 17th century Chinese emperor. Emperor. I'm get every color. Black, white, blue, avatar. I don't care. Every star. I'll have. I'll have little person one. Gigantism, you know?

[Simon Helberg]

Wow.

[Kalila]

I love the spinal bifida one. I'll have all of them.

[Simon Helberg]

I like that.

[Kalila]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all smart and they're all connected. You know what I mean?

[Simon Helberg]

But they're all gonna have a beautiful future.

[Kalila]

Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, yeah. But I'm definitely gonna do that.

[Guest Comedian]

But I wonder if they have body odor. Would you have one of those?

[Kalila]

No.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, he doesn't have body.

[Kalila]

Why would I have. AI, Robots, Big hands. Walking around with Selena. Just walked by and Selena isn't Mexican. When I said that.

[Bobby Lee]

She's not.

[Kalila]

No, not when he said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love you, Alex.

[Bobby Lee]

He's not even Mexican.

[Kalila]

You're not. Whatever. Salvador. You're Salvadorian. Buenos noches. Yeah, yeah, but we'll cut that.

[Simon Helberg]

All that.

[Kalila]

We'll cut that out. Yeah. Selena. Mexico. Cut that out. But, yeah, that. That was crazy. So watch the Audacity.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

On amc. Is it out now?

[Simon Helberg]

It is out now.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Amc. AMC plus. It's really fantastic. It's. It's a. The. The writer was a writer on Succession and Better Call Saul, and now he's. He's. He's created this Show. So if you're, if, you know, if you're into that kind of dark comedic.

[Kalila]

Yeah, I loved Secession.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. So it's got a. I'll watch the show then. It's, it's, Honestly, it is, it is truly fantastic. Zach Al. Lots of comedians doing sort of dark worker roles. There's Zach. Yeah. Rob Cordry and lots of really funny people being.

[Guest Comedian]

He's handsome, that one.

[Kalila]

I hung out with him.

[Simon Helberg]

Billy.

[Kalila]

No, the guy that was just talking.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah. Billy Magnuson.

[Kalila]

Yeah, Matt, Billy Magnuson. Him and I had a dinner a month ago.

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, he's great.

[Kalila]

He's a great guy.

[Simon Helberg]

He really is.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Yeah. You're a really great guy and very smart.

[Simon Helberg]

Yep.

[Kalila]

Yeah. Just like you are.

[Simon Helberg]

Just like me.

[Kalila]

So watch Billy, watch Zach.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

Watch Simon on this new show called the Audacity on amc. And I'm gonna start watching it.

[Simon Helberg]

It's fantastic.

[Kalila]

Yeah. And you know that there's a difference between now being on a show now than it was in the Big Bang Theory and, you know, I mean, eyes on it and cultural impact and it's lesser now, right?

[Simon Helberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Kalila]

You feel that? Right.

[Simon Helberg]

For sure.

[Kalila]

How do you feel about that?

[Simon Helberg]

I, I, it makes me sad.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

In the same way that we're talking about, you know, replacing. I mean, I know you have your dream of a big old can, lots of AI bots smell good for us. For me, it sounds a bit like a nightmare. And it feels, it feels similar because we're all becoming more and more atomized, compartmentalized, and so then we don't get to have, like, you do stand up, which is, which maybe is like the last vestige of. Yeah. Because you can't really. That will always be, be that. But the size of the crowds and your experience, like, you know, in terms of how much the appetite for stand up. Has that changed since, like, streaming? It hasn't affected that.

[Kalila]

No. Because I, you know, I generally play clubs and I've always sold out clubs. You know what I mean? Rarely do I sell. Not sell out a club. But now I'm doing theaters.

[Simon Helberg]

Okay.

[Kalila]

Right. So now it's a little. The game is up. I mean, and, but they're still selling very good, you know, but, but I, for me, it's like every choice that I make is. I think of, I feel bad about the people. You, I mean, I, you know, I mean, people are like, I drove three hours to come to your show, and it's like, you know what I mean? And if gas prices are.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

You know, I mean, what they Are it makes me feel bad, of course. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

So it's, I think maybe the appetite for stand up to your question, like, for me, as like someone who's just chronically online line.

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that it can exist in so many different clippable, like formats on like Tick Tock, whereas, like big shows cannot. Right. And then now you have 50 million other options on streamers. But stand Up, I think has only maybe blossomed because now you can consume it in, I mean, everywhere.

[Kalila]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

On tick tock, on YouTube shorts, on Instagram.

[Kalila]

My fear is it will, will it event. Will podcasting eventually fade away? Because this is like. You don't think so, George, to get

[Bobby Lee]

into podcasting now you're up against a different beast because everyone and their moms has one versus 10 years ago or

[Kalila]

12 years ago, 11 years or whatever.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

So my fear is that this is going to go away. And then if this goes away, you know, then I just have stand up. And if stand up goes away, you know, I mean, the little bits I do in acting is not gonna, you know, but there's all these fears. But my point is, is that, you know what I mean? Why, why do you look like that?

[Guest Comedian]

Because I just think I, I, I, I'm empathetic, but I also think that

[Kalila]

they're, they're, I think I saved enough money for me to go, I'm out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

You know what I mean?

[Simon Helberg]

Goodbye. But, but you're like the act. Acting used to be there was a, a path for being like a middle class actor doing pilots. I was just like, oh, if I can just do a pilot every year, they, they never got picked up. They're never great.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

But I was like, I kept getting them. I felt so lucky. I got health insurance. I had enough money to live.

[Kalila]

Yeah.

[Simon Helberg]

Do a commercial. It's a national. Oh, my God, that's insane. Maybe another commercial. That's like a regional. Oh my God. That's it. That's all I need to do to live my life.

[Kalila]

Yes.

[Simon Helberg]

So you, that doesn't even exist at all.

[Kalila]

I know a middle class actor, like a very good character actor who had to sell his house. All right. But anyway, watch the Audacity on amc, right?

[Simon Helberg]

Yeah.

[Kalila]

With Simon Helberg. Zach. It's a great show by the Secession people.

[Bobby Lee]

Bowl.

[Kalila]

Check it out. Right? Incredible guy. Old friend. Support my friend. All right, Goodbye.

[Simon Helberg]

Goodbye.