The Hawaii Interrogation

Summary

TigerBelly – “The Hawaii Interrogation”
Episode Date: April 8, 2026
Host: All Things Comedy
Main Cast: Bobby Lee, Khalyla, Juliana (“Jules”), Issa, others
Location: Hawaii

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Episode Overview

In this lively, irreverent episode, Bobby Lee hosts a candid conversation with Khalyla and their friends in Hawaii, blending family dynamics, dating debates, health awakenings, “sands” metaphors, philosophical musings, and the usual barrage of wild humor and oversharing. The group dives into social norms, online dating safety, nightlife generational gaps, animal loyalty, diet obsessions, and ideas of altruism—all seasoned with signature TigerBelly wit, winding tangents, and eruptions of playful arguments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Family Dynamic and Dating “Rules”

• Bobby assumes a quasi-parental role for Juliana and Issa, worried about their online dating, insisting on elaborate “vetting” for safety.
  • Bobby: “You, Juliana? Because I view guys as like my daughters.” (00:29)
• Khalyla enforces strict rules for Issa, including sharing location, check-in texts, and curfews.
  • Khalyla: “You go to this specific place, you log into your WiFi, you let me know you’re there, and you do not leave…” (01:27)
• Juliana rebels, goes to raves at 2am, dislikes Bobby overseeing her social life. Bobby laments the generational clubbing gap.
  • Bobby: “She says that I’m too old to go to a club.” (04:44)
  • Khalyla: “But our generation knows how to club!” (05:21)

Memorable Quote:

“You know this rule about, like, age and club is so crazy to me. It’s…It’s 21 and up. It’s not 54 and down.” — Bobby Lee (04:53)

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2. Generational Differences: Clubbing & Social Norms

• The older crew reflect on their youthful clubbing days, which felt freer and wilder without smartphones catching every moment.
  • Khalyla: “No one was videoing…Everyone was just literally being a disaster—all in the privacy of our own friends. And they’ll never have that.” (07:14)
• There’s nostalgia for a less-documented, more “disastrous” youth.

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3. Obsessions with “Catching Print” and Body Size Culture

• The group humorously unpacks the gay male and now mainstream online phenomenon of “catching print” (judging penis size from clothing outlines).
  • Explained thoroughly by Khalyla (08:46–10:40).
  • Bobby, mock-offended, asks to be “printed” (09:37).
• Discussion turns to body shaming, circumcision debates, male insecurity, and the “Bow Tie Boys” (uncircumcised guys).

Notable Exchange:

Bobby: “Let me—You’ve seen it live in action, so I…Is it still A?”
Khalyla: “I would say, like, B minus.” (10:29–10:40)

“I literally don’t remember. I have dick amnesia.” — Khalyla (10:46)

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4. Birthday Gifting, Altruism, and Family Support

• Issa’s birthday prompts recaps of Bobby gifting Coachella tickets, cash, and “free rent”; family outings to fancy restaurants; and what constitutes “huge” gifts. (14:01–16:06)
• Segue to discussion on investing in loved ones’ happiness vs. buying affection.

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5. Arguments About Music, Cover Bands, & Reggae “Respect”

• Bobby debates whether cover bands are “real art” versus comedy theft, ultimately appreciating a cruise ship cover band (22:13–26:07).
• Spirited argument erupts over reggae music: Bobby sees himself as a supporter, but Khalyla calls him a “cavernous fraud” for mistaking a Clash cover for the original reggae artist, poking fun at his lack of genre reverence.
  • Khalyla: “You do not respect reggae. You do not respect.” (24:11)

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6. Contrarian Nature & Family Antics

• Khalyla and the group roast Bobby for relentless contrarianism and stirring “little fires” in debates, even with their mom.
  • “If you could describe someone by a title of a book, Bobby would be Little Fires Everywhere.” — Khalyla (27:16)
• Bobby admits to engaging in mischief just to light up arguments, but insists he does it only with people he knows well.

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7. Risky Social Interactions & TSA Antics

• Bobby recounts a social close-call, joking with a goth-leaning fan in Hawaii about being a “vampire”—showcasing his tendency to make off-color remarks to mixed reactions. (30:14–31:37)
• Reveals “Ramsay Badawi’s Secret”: at TSA, refusing to let them take his photo, asserting it’s “illegal”—and apparently, they accept it if said with confidence. (32:41–33:44)

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8. Dating Preferences Metaphor – The “Sands” Conversation

• The group uses “sands” (white sand, black sand, brown sand) as a cheeky metaphor for racial/ethnic dating preferences.
  • “I’m a black sand kind of girl; I like dark sand.” — Khalyla (34:32)
  • Juliana claims: “I have dipped all my toes into all the sands.” (35:36)
• The conversation humorously dissects preferences and potential crushes.

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9. Medication, Mental Health, and Jealousy

• Bobby details his Lexapro journey (39:03—41:09), noting how the SSRI dampens both jealousy and sexual desire.
  • “It’s really helping with…ruminating thoughts. Like 70% gone.” — Bobby (39:14)
• Admits he dwells less on career losses and slights since starting medication.

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10. Animal Loyalty, Movies, and Emotional Moments

• Extensive emotional discussion on animal loyalty in disaster movies (Signs, Godzilla). Bobby is outraged at characters abandoning dogs in crises, sees it as a tester for human goodness. (41:28–45:06)
• Reminiscing over personal dog stories and how the loss of pets affects them.

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11. Survival Instincts: “Salt of the Earth” vs. “Pepper of the Earth”

• A spirited debate: If disaster strikes, who would you trust to get you out alive? Aloha (the steady, sea-savvy boyfriend) or Bobby (chaotic, “pepper of the earth”)?
  • “Don’t follow a good person. You follow the guy that wants to survive, that will do anything to survive.” — Bobby (48:07)
  • Khalyla: “Bobby is what I always call a cockroach. He can live without his head for 20 days.” (48:24)

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12. Health Kicks & “Water Choice” Rabbit Hole

• The crew is deep into healthy eating—debating the merits of various bottled waters (Icelandic wins), giving up processed foods, sweets, and even Paris Baguette.
  • “I will never eat nerds again...never eat a Reese’s peanut butter cup…” — Bobby (64:34)
• Talk of placentas and breast milk as health fads, with Khalyla offering up “placenta pills.”
  • “If you guys want breast milk, that’s the ultimate.” — Khalyla (65:57)

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13. Altruism Spectrum & Generosity

• Khalyla references a “Hidden Brain” episode about “anonymous kidney donors” and probes where each person falls on the altruism scale (72:22–74:23).
• Bobby claims he’s “best in the business” at tipping and doing “mystery” good deeds, but says giving body parts is a step too far.
  • “I tip very well, and then I think I could be the best tipper… I’m the best in the business… I’m really good with homeless.” — Bobby (73:41–74:23)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Bobby on clubbing generations:

  “You know this rule about, like, age and club is so crazy to me. It’s…It’s 21 and up. It’s not 54 and down.” (04:53)

• Khalyla on nostalgia:

  “No one was videoing…Everyone was just literally being a disaster…” (07:14)

• On altruism:

  “Where do you think you fall—from anonymous kidney donor to full sociopath?” — Khalyla (73:26)

• On “sands” as Tinder code:

  “I have dipped all my toes into all the sands.” — Juliana (35:36)

• On surviving disaster movies:

  “Don’t follow a good person. You follow the guy that wants to survive, that will do anything to survive.” — Bobby (48:07)

• On Bobby’s health awakening:

  “I will never eat nerds again...never eat a Reese’s peanut butter cup…” (64:34)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [00:00–06:00] — Bobby’s touring, family dynamics, and dating safety
• [10:00–13:00] — “Catching print” and body/culture talk
• [22:13–26:07] — Cruise ship cover bands and reggae authenticity argument
• [27:00–31:30] — Bobby’s contrarian fires and social swings
• [34:00–38:00] — “Sands” metaphor for dating/ethnicity
• [39:00–41:09] — Lexapro, jealousy, and ruminating thoughts
• [41:28–46:00] — Movie animal deaths, Godzilla, and animal loyalty
• [48:00–52:40] — “Salt” vs “pepper of the earth,” disaster survival hierarchy
• [62:00–66:00] — Water choice rabbit hole, healthy eating resolutions
• [72:22–76:00] — Altruism, tipping, secret good deeds, show wrap-up

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Tone & Overall Feel

The episode is fast-paced, meandering, and full of the group’s irreverent, self-mocking, and affectionate banter. Bobby’s classic blend of self-deprecation, wild visual metaphors, and neurotic honesty shines against Khalyla’s deadpan wit and the others’ playful come-backs. Despite the comedy, deeper threads about safety, generational values, self-improvement, and empathy are woven throughout—and handled with surprising sincerity amid the chaos.

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For New Listeners

This episode is quintessential TigerBelly: unfiltered, chaotic, and heartfelt. You’ll hear taboo topics, family tensions, generational divides, and existential musing, all seasoned with Asian-American humor and unpredictable improvisation. If you’ve never listened, expect to be disoriented and entertained as the group veers from the ridiculous to the poignant and back again—often in the same sentence.

Transcript

[A]

The Bobby Lee. The finally tour is up for sale. 2026. You know, I shot a special for Hulu, and I'm going to go one strong tour before the special airs. I'll be in Detroit, Indianapolis, Montclair, Atlantic City, Medford, San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, et cetera, et cetera. Go to bobbylee Live to get your tick. What I'm saying to you is this. And don't interrupt me, okay? Please, I beg of you. Okay. Is that. Yes. You, Juliana? Because I view guys as like my daughters, okay? So it's like I'm asking Kalila, are you. You mean as a Sarah, like my ex wife? Right? Vetting. You know what I mean? These guys that she's dating is what I'm saying.

[B]

I don't think that's how you should do it. I don't think there's a way to vet anyone off of a dating profile. So therefore, you make other plans to make sure that she's physically safe. Right? Because for all we know, a dude could show up. Okay, I'll give you one better.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Which he. Which, by the way, I'm not too happy about. I. These are the rules. I said you go to this specific place, you log into your WI fi, you let me know you're there, and you do not leave the confines of this. You have an hour with this person to get to know each other, and that's it. You do not leave.

[A]

But what if she says this? What if she says this? What if she says, like, no, we're gonna go to his place?

[B]

Oh, then she can. She. She knows. Issa knows that I am nice until the rules are broken.

[A]

Okay, that. That. Is that a rule broken?

[B]

Yeah, it's absolute hell no. To me. It's. It's absolutely no, if anything, that has to do with her safety. It's a.

[A]

And then what if she goes? I don't care. I. I think he's hot.

[B]

You're on your own. Find your own way back home. Your ticket. Get a roof over your head. You're on your own. If you want to risk your life, it's not going to be on my watch.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So call your mom. Let her know your plans. Because, like, you know.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Or call Tito Bobby maybe. He might, but she would never. She's not like that.

[A]

Yeah, you can call me.

[B]

And what would you do?

[A]

A thumbs up emoji?

[C]

He doesn't even reply to me. I've tried sending him reels, and he doesn't even reply to me.

[B]

But what's great about Issa Is that. That's so rude. You never reply.

[A]

I don't think I have her number saved.

[C]

Well, she just got messaged you on Instagram. I even wished you.

[A]

I don't follow.

[C]

I think you do. But I wished you a happy birthday once, and I never got a reply.

[A]

Okay, could I just say something? All right.

[D]

When it's.

[A]

When it's my birthday, you know how many messages I get? I'm sorry to brag. Is it a bragging thing?

[B]

You saw me as your daughter.

[A]

But she knows. She knows. Okay. All right.

[B]

But I did see the picture of the guy, and he was, like, cute, and he seemed, like, nice.

[A]

What color?

[B]

That's brown.

[A]

Yeah, I'm thumbs up with that.

[B]

And then. And then the one thing I love about her, which she doesn't do ever, is she honks the horn. Issa's like, hey, this is what I'm up to. This is what I'm gonna wear. This is who I'm meeting, and this is where I'll be. This one no goes rogue.

[C]

Issa just likes to share, and I like to.

[B]

She likes to share after the fact?

[C]

Yeah. After. After.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait. So you share before the fact?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

When you have no information.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And you share after everything? Yeah. I have to say that I think that you. Juliana.

[C]

What?

[A]

What Needs to take a step back.

[C]

Step back from what?

[A]

Going to the raves at 2 in the morning?

[B]

You're going to Reeves, Jules.

[A]

She goes. This is what she said. You don't know about this?

[B]

I don't know about no raves. I know about the white guy. And that, like, shocked me.

[A]

Oh, no. This is what she does. It's midnight. I go, where you going? She's a. Downtown, right? I'm like, what's downtown? She's like, a club. And I go. I go. I'm going. She's like, no, she won't let me go.

[E]

You should just show up as, like, a. I know.

[A]

Even. And she says if I show up, she says she'll leave.

[C]

Or, like, don't. Like, don't talk to me.

[A]

Yeah, don't talk to her.

[C]

Just avoid.

[A]

Just avoid.

[E]

So Tito Bobby just next to you.

[B]

No.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And she says that I'm too old to go to a club.

[B]

Yeah. Why would you be at the club?

[C]

You're 50 something.

[A]

You know, this rule about, like, age and club is so crazy to me. It's. It's 21 and up. It's not 54 and down.

[D]

You know what I mean?

[A]

There's no rule like that. You Know what I mean?

[B]

But okay, so it's America.

[A]

I can go wherever I want to go.

[B]

I'm going to defend you. I am going to defend you in that. They don't know how to club.

[D]

They don't know.

[A]

Our generation knows how to club, dude.

[B]

I'm not sure you do, but why?

[D]

I'm club fucking fanatic.

[B]

I've never seen you do it.

[A]

I know, but in my 20s, they

[D]

were the club king.

[B]

Really? What would you do?

[D]

Like, I go to Joseph's.

[B]

You walk into. You walk into the club. What's the first. What's your first?

[A]

Well, first I go to the door when there's a line. Three mile line, right. I go straight to the front.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I know the guy. The. I remember his name.

[B]

Joseph Dorseph. Okay. His name is Jorseph.

[A]

All right, Jorseph. What's up, Jorseph. Right? And he lets me ride in. Right.

[B]

Lets you right in.

[A]

I have a horse. Yeah, A pony. I have a. It's small enough to get through the corridor.

[B]

You ride in your pony and then what?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

And then what I do is. Oh, there's Timberlake.

[B]

Oh, ew. That makes you sound.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

And I'm like dancing next to Timberlake.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[D]

You know, I mean, there's. What's the guy, the gay. The guy from American Idol?

[B]

Simon Cowell.

[D]

No, the gay guy.

[B]

Randy Jackson.

[D]

What? Clay Aiken.

[B]

How did you know that's who he was thinking about?

[D]

He knows everything, dude. He's Shaka all day, dude. Okay, so you know Clay Aiken's there. Back then it was like a different crew.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I mean.

[D]

And so it's like I would go there every Monday.

[C]

Every Monday.

[B]

Monday, Monday.

[A]

Yeah, it was.

[D]

It was.

[B]

It doesn't sound right. I feel like the club is closed.

[D]

That's the only night Joseph is.

[A]

It's the only night Joseph was there.

[D]

Because if Joseph's not there, I have to wait in that long line.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

So I would go Monday, but still, Pa.

[B]

I feel like my 20s, the full club scene is something they'll never experience because it's like we were there with our little bandage dresses, six inch heels, fighting for our lives at the club. And just like having. Because no one was videoing film. No one was on their phone. Everyone was just literally being a disaster. All in the privacy of our own friends. And I do. They'll never have that. They'll never have what we have.

[A]

They'll never have it. They'll never, never. Yeah, yeah. So. But do you know that she goes out late at night?

[C]

I think I know.

[B]

I. Well, she shares her location with me, but I have never checked it once. Can you believe that?

[A]

Yeah, keep checking it.

[B]

I have never.

[C]

Never gonna share it to you. I know you're just gonna be asking me. You're just gonna be texting me all night.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I have you there, so. Yeah, well, because I'll tell you why.

[B]

What are you gonna do? If she's like, okay, I'm out with this guy and we're in his room, what you gonna do?

[A]

I'm gonna say, who is? I mean, I would be like, who is? Well, she's not gonna tell me anyway, but if she did, I'd like, who the is this person? You mean, how do you know this person? Where are you? What's happening? You know, I mean, but I know what she's doing.

[B]

Have you ever heard of the term catching prince?

[A]

You know, tell me about it. This is. It's young terms.

[B]

It's like, you're gonna love this.

[C]

Oh, it's like a new thing.

[A]

Are we cooked?

[C]

Yeah, you're cooked.

[B]

I need you to stand up. I need you to stand up, though. I think you're cooked for this one for sure. Okay, so listen to this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so I. I actually think it applies more to, like, gay men, but gay men have mastered the art of catching print, and there's a guy on TikTok who explains it.

[A]

We're catching Prince or prints.

[B]

Prints. Like the print of. Of, like, a marked print.

[A]

Oh, I was still thinking about the guy from Minnesota.

[B]

Oh, you always got to go back to Minnesota Prince. Okay, so anyway, so this guy explains what catching print is. And catching print is basically looking at a man's area when he's clothed, when he has jeans, sweats, whatever. And depending on where the peak is, you either are an A cup, a B cup, or you skip C and you go to D cup.

[A]

What are the cups? What do you mean?

[B]

So it's A. We can look at how big your penis is based on the print of this area.

[A]

Okay, so A is good.

[B]

A is no good.

[A]

Oh, is good.

[B]

B is small. B is perfect. B is husbandish.

[A]

All right, print me.

[E]

You're not say that to your nieces.

[B]

Can I tell you? Okay, so you see his peak right there in the very middle? It's way above his balls, and that's not a good sign. So, okay, so how it works is the peak has. In relation to where the ball sack ends. So the higher the peak, the Smaller the dick, the lower the peak, and closer to the ball sack, the bigger the penis. Just say A. I don't know. Just say A. I don't think there's anything wrong with any size, by the way.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But I.

[A]

Let me. You've seen it live in action, so I. All right, so you've seen it live in action, right? Is it still A?

[B]

I think it's more like, can the

[E]

print be different from the live version?

[B]

I would say, like, B minus. Can someone help me? I. I would say, like a B minus. Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

But I also have. Okay, no. Can I tell you something that's so real?

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I'm.

[B]

I literally don't remember. I have dick amnesia. I don't remember anyone. Yeah.

[A]

10 years.

[B]

I remember nothing.

[A]

10 years of. 10 years of it to get amnesia.

[D]

Wow. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

What.

[C]

What did you say? That's sad.

[A]

Yeah. A quarter of your life, you amnesia that.

[B]

I think that's what happens.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But I will say, though, like, this isn't like, a thing girls have, like, historically done is catch print. I think it's like a game. Gay men usually are better at this, but now I'm looking now since they. I've. I've been.

[A]

Guess what.

[B]

What?

[A]

Guys catch print, too guy.

[B]

Yeah. Yoga we wear.

[A]

And yours is a hovel. I call yours the abyss.

[B]

I said B minus.

[A]

All right, all right.

[D]

It's.

[A]

It's like deli sandwich.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Not bad.

[B]

Not. Not bad. I think that you got really sad about B minus. So, like, what do you want to hear?

[A]

No, B minus is fine.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

A.

[A]

A, you know, is. I'd have to have. I. I'd have to go to Turkey and get a surgery, I think.

[B]

I don't think all surgeries are done in Turkey. I'd go somewhere else.

[A]

That's for the cheapest, cheapest way.

[B]

Hair. Yeah, hair.

[A]

Oh, where do I get dick surgery? What country is the best place?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe Thailand.

[A]

You think Thailand?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I also just want to publicly apologize to Gilbert for all the years we made fun of you for being uncircumcised.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because I really think that that's the way to go. I think that anything outside of that is like genital mutilation without consent.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So this is the dumb.

[A]

You want to go there? You want to go there? All right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

His looks like a scared turtle.

[B]

It doesn't, though.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What happens?

[E]

The turtle is not scared. It comes out of the Shell.

[A]

I understand that, but what I'm saying.

[B]

I don't think he knows. I don't think he understands. I don't think he knows. What an uncirc. Yeah.

[A]

I've seen him at the spa.

[B]

Oh, yeah?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And I. And it looks like a scare turtle. It's in the shell.

[B]

I don't think so. Not when it's fully erect. Bobby. It's out of its.

[D]

She.

[A]

I've never seen it fully erect.

[E]

You know, guys know when other guys aren't. We know.

[A]

We know. Yeah. It's an instinct.

[B]

How?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Based on what?

[E]

I think it was the way we. When some. When one guy mentions it, that they're not uncircumcised. There's a smirk that goes around the room. We all kind of nod. I swear to God.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I feel like you would never have known. Alex.

[B]

Alex Lift.

[E]

Got a Costa.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I think David's show. We're all. We call each other the Bow Tie Boys.

[A]

Let me ask you something. Is there. I don't even know what he said.

[B]

Bow Tie Boys.

[A]

Oh, Bow Tie Boys. Oh, you guys. The boy. That's why you guys are so close. Is that what separates between you and I, that we can't get close?

[E]

You need to grow a little bit.

[A]

I gotta grow the skin over the. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. I didn't have a choice on that matter.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

Wait, are we. Are we celebrating your birthday here?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Happy birthday.

[A]

Happy birthday.

[D]

18 years old.

[A]

How's it.

[E]

What are you getting her, man?

[B]

Oh, he got her something huge.

[C]

Yeah. Crazy.

[B]

Crazy big. He doesn't even remember.

[A]

What did I give you?

[B]

Coachella. Are you kidding me?

[C]

Coachella.

[B]

You got her Coachella.

[A]

I remember. I have to go to that thing.

[C]

You have to go. You have to go.

[B]

Can I tell you why you have to go?

[D]

I'm not going.

[B]

You have to sit now you're going.

[A]

Carlos is gonna go.

[B]

I know, but you.

[A]

No. Carlos Herrera's gonna go.

[D]

I'm not going.

[C]

No, you have to go.

[A]

I don't want to go.

[B]

The Strokes, David Byrne. Even if you don't care about Sabrina Carpenter and other stuff, there are cool bands still there.

[A]

But what am I gonna do during Sabrina Carpenter?

[B]

You can leave. You can leave.

[C]

You can only.

[B]

You can go for just the bounce that you like, even if they're in the day and then go home.

[A]

I'm going to do that Lady Sabrina Carber. I'm going. I want her to see me walk out. I'll make a face of you.

[B]

Silly.

[A]

Isn't it silly. No, I'm sure I don't know her. I'm sure she's very talented.

[B]

She's really talented, but she. Issa, that's your birthday gift to her. Remember? She asked for it last family app. And you gave.

[A]

I think I gave her other gifts,

[B]

but that's huge is what we're saying.

[A]

Free rent.

[C]

Oh my God, no

[A]

cash. Yeah, yeah. Which is a great. Better than some would say.

[B]

Yeah, she was really happy about that. She came in, she's like, tita. Bobby gave me 200 bucks. I gotta go buy an outfit.

[A]

Yeah, that was for your phone.

[B]

She got that. She did, she did, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But she needs more. Let me say something. She needs more. What do you call it? Data.

[B]

Well, I sent them on. On her birthday. You can tell them what you did.

[C]

We went to. We went to this fancy restaurant.

[A]

Which one? It's called Strip Steak. We went there the first night we were here.

[C]

It was really good.

[A]

It was really good, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And then we went to a live show. A live show? Right after.

[A]

What live show?

[C]

It was called Secret Spot. And then I wanted to stay like for so long.

[A]

Who played.

[B]

It was. Yeah, we're really good though.

[A]

You don't even know the name.

[B]

I wasn't there. I just gave him my credit card

[A]

and it was good.

[C]

It was good. Yeah.

[A]

What kind of music?

[C]

Like covers.

[A]

That's an argument that.

[E]

From the creator, John Wick. And nobody comes. The new movie Normal, A double barreled shotgun blast appear mayhem. And you know, at Tiger Belly, we love mayhem. For sheriff Ulysses, played by Bob Odenkirk, a new job as temporary sheriff in the quaint town of Normal, Minnesota was meant to be a welcome respite from recent troubles. But when a botched bank robbery interrupts the piece, a dark secret is exposed. And Ulysses discovers that the town is anything but its namesake. Suddenly everyone is trying to shoot the sheriff. And he has to rely on his own wits and some crooks if he is to survive that night. And that's all before. Wait for it. The Yakuza show up. Oh, we got some Asians in this movie. Starring the great and funny and very good action star Bob Odenkirk. The funny Henry Winkler, and also the one and only Lena Headey. I was actually talking to Bobby about this, how we're going to watch this in theaters. But fun fact, I actually got to train with Bob Odenkirk at 8711. It's like a stunt gym here in LA.

[B]

And.

[E]

And when he was doing it for another film he was in. This guy takes his craft so seriously. Acting and even the stunt work. I watched this older gentleman do a lot more physical feats than I could. His martial arts, his, his fighting, his gun work. Just all of it looks so cool. So make sure you check out the movie Normal. See it only in theaters. April 17th.

[D]

Blue Chew. Blue, Blue, Blue.

[A]

Dude, Blue Chew has saved my life, okay? I'm a 55 year old man, almost 55. I'm still sexually active. And I have to admit. Let's go. Let's go everywhere. Let's go up, though.

[D]

Let's go up.

[A]

And so what happens is I go on a date, right? Sometimes, you know, papa ain't working. You know what I mean, down there, right? I take a Blue Chew and now bluetooth gold, right? 15 minutes. Oh, right. And then, boom. Party time. USA dude. Blue chew Gold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable Ed brand. This ain't your grandpa's little blue pill. The four in one beast that's getting the gold standard for performance. We're talking about two ingredients for blood flow to keep the rocket pumping. All right, what are the ingredients, Catherine?

[B]

Mixed with apomorphine and oxytocin to turn up the arousal and connection in your brain and body response.

[A]

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[E]

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[A]

Helix Sleep.

[D]

Sleep.

[A]

Dude, guys, I have beds in my room and my beds. You have multiple, multiple rooms with many beds. Right? That's what I meant to say.

[B]

You're a mattress king.

[A]

I'm the king of all mattresses and I only use Helix because it's the best kind. I really do. People spend the night at my house. I go, oh my God, I slept so well. I go, what is it? I go Helix. A study that they ran found that 82% of those involved saw an increase in their deep sleep cycle with sleeping on a Helix mattress.

[B]

And honestly, I've had my Helix for over five years now and it is still perfect as the first day.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

Let me see. And it's so easy. You just take a quiz. You take the Helix quiz online and they match you with a mattress based on your the type of sleeper that you are. Like for instance, me, I am a side sleeper and I run really hot. So I got matched with the midnight. Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

He's muy passionate. And what's really cool too is that they give you 120 nights of a trial. So if you're like, you know what, I don't like it. You can give it back 120.

[A]

But you're not. You're going to do 10,000 nights after that.

[B]

Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

But no need worry, don't worry about it.

[E]

Go to helsleep.com tigerbelly for 20% off sidewide. That's helixleep.com tigerbelly for 20 percent off sidewide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. Helixleep.com tigerbelly draftkings.

[A]

I I have a valid question and it might not and I'm not trying to make anyone mad and it's a philosophical question. And it's something that I've asked myself, and I think I'm leaning toward a certain direction.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So when I was on the cruise, there was a famous cover band that was on the cruise. And in my mind, I'm like. I questioned, like, how does it feel? It's like, to me, it felt like. You mean a comedian telling somebody else's jokes? You know, I mean, but when they actually saw them play, I was like, holy, they're so good. You know what I mean? And, you know, to me, it's like, no, it's a valid form of expression and art. And it's. They were so good. Like, it sounded even, at times better than the original or whatever. And they're super entertaining. And they're wearing wigs, you know, I mean, and they're having a blast. And the audience loves it. And I think that it's a good thing. So I'm not. You know what I mean? I'm sure they were really good. And they played all the classics. Like, can you tell me a song that they played?

[C]

They did Love I by the Green. The Green? Yeah.

[A]

What the is that?

[B]

Probably doesn't know who the Green is.

[A]

Yeah. Is there brown or.

[C]

No, they're brown.

[A]

Oh, they're brown.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's a band called the Green, but they're brown.

[B]

They've been around forever. They have such, like.

[C]

So good music.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really? It's something that you think that I would like because, you know, my taste.

[B]

No, absolutely not.

[C]

What?

[B]

Because I think you're. You know. It's so funny. We. Actually, I remember there was this one song by. It's a Junior Mervyn song, I think it's called. It's Police and Thieves. And you had the audacity to tell me that this is a song by the Clash? And I was like, no, this is a Junior Mervyn song. That's because you do not respect reggae. You do not respect.

[A]

I'm sorry, what did I play in the fucking car?

[B]

You're such a fraud.

[A]

You're a fraud.

[B]

You're a fraud.

[A]

You're a cavernous fraud.

[B]

You're a fraud.

[A]

You're a liar.

[B]

You're a.

[A]

Okay, who was it?

[B]

But was it, like, his playlist?

[A]

Yep.

[B]

He put it on, or just the radio?

[A]

No, I put it on the rental car. Who was it?

[B]

Who was it?

[A]

Bob Marley.

[B]

Oh, I mean, that's Bob Marley, of course.

[A]

Oh, he's not Reagan. He's the king of Reagan. Of course.

[B]

Of course. Course. But he's easy.

[A]

And if you preferred any Reggae. You're on an island. You could pick one reggae artist. Who would you pick?

[E]

Not Bob Marley.

[B]

There's so many. I mean, there's.

[A]

You just betrayed me so badly, dude. I'm never using your studio again.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

This is the last time you ever see me, I'll tell you that.

[B]

Okay, so Bob Marley makes sense, of course, because he's, like, so universally loved. Right. But I'm just saying, like, the vast majority of other stuff that I've had you listen to, you're just like, nah, this isn't for me. And then we got into that big conversation because you're like, oh, it's just. To me, it sounds so unoriginal. And then you fought me about the Police and Thieves song, which you were like, this is the Clash. And I was like, no, it's not. And because you have no respect for the classics, okay.

[A]

It's so much to unravel here, Right? Because I'm trying to get my emotions under control, and I'm trying to be mindful and respectful. Okay? You. Off. Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're right about that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I didn't know that it was a cover. Right. And I think that when I. It's not that I didn't have respect for reggae. I. I always have to win the. The argument.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know? I mean, so it's like. So I think that in that specific case, I was trying to win an argument. Okay. Not that I was, like, disparaging a genre of music. Okay.

[B]

I believe you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just. It doesn't. It doesn't tickle your soul. In.

[A]

In a way, it does tickle my soul.

[B]

Your skull.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Tickles your hole.

[A]

Yeah, it tickles me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And, you know, my friend and I

[A]

got in a fight the other night about spirituality. Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

And I take the opposing thing, you know?

[B]

I mean, he is such a contrarian to the point where it's like. It's almost better that you don't talk to him about anything that you want him to agree with. Just take the opposing stance so that the stance he will counter with is the stance you actually believe in. Yeah. Just trick him. And so when he says, no, I believe this, and you're like, you know what? Yeah, you're right then. Because otherwise, like, all being, like, around you and you're such a contrarian is exhausting.

[C]

You do that with Mama.

[A]

What do I do? What are some of the things?

[E]

Like movies?

[C]

No, like, the biggest one was.

[D]

Oh, it's just the.

[E]

I know what you're talking about it's the lighting.

[A]

If he's.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, but I like. Yeah, but I like lighting fires.

[C]

You could see it in his eyes.

[B]

Like, he was just having so much

[C]

fun while I was screaming at my mom.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. I like, there was a.

[B]

You know how, like, if you could describe somebody by, like, a title of a book, Bobby, would be Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You like to just light it up.

[D]

Yeah, I like lighting it up. Yeah, it's fun.

[B]

Really?

[D]

Yeah, it's fun. Not if it's serious. It's not fun, like if somebody had, like, a disease, you know?

[A]

I mean, let's make.

[D]

Yeah, let's make it. Let's make a disease. He has clefaria. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What clefaria does is that, you know, I mean, your nose falls off. Yeah. And one eyebrow. Right.

[B]

Only one.

[D]

Right.

[A]

And then.

[D]

And then, you know, their. The hand is always shaka. But both hands always does that. Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That sounds like arthritis.

[D]

That's what I would say.

[B]

Rheumatoid.

[D]

You don't have clefarius. Dude. You have arthritis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, it's like, you know, I mean, wash your nose. In your face.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[D]

It wouldn't fall off if you wash your nose. What is this anymore?

[E]

Look at her face, dude. It's dumbfounded right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Like, I would do that, even though I would believe that he does have clefair.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, I mean, I. Yeah. You know, like one eyebrow cup.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Why'd you shave that dog? It just fell off. I mean. No, dog. You shaved it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Just to, you know, light a little fire.

[A]

But.

[D]

But I feel like that the people know that I'm lighting the fire, though.

[B]

Yeah, we do.

[A]

Yeah. So that's.

[D]

Yeah, but you know that I'm lighting a fire.

[C]

Yeah, but my fire.

[B]

What?

[C]

Mama doesn't.

[B]

And she's like.

[C]

But she just agrees with you.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she really believes in my fires. Yeah. You know, your mom's like, oh, she like a fire. You know what I mean? I'm gonna light one or put more gasoline on it. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, but. Yeah, but I. I don't think that I do it if I'm brand meeting somebody for the first time.

[A]

I don't love fires.

[C]

No.

[D]

You know, I mean, it's like I. I wait until they know that I light fires under what I'm saying. No, you don't.

[B]

No. Because I feel as though it's 50. 50 there are times where you meet someone for the first time and they, I'm always like, I hope that they know he's Bobby Lee, because he's about to say some that's like, so like, it's the word off color that I hope they know he's joking. And sometimes you, you take a shot, you take a swing and you miss. And I look at the person and I'm like, he's a comedian. He's. He's just joking. And then I, I feel.

[D]

Last night we had that last night there was a moment of I could have died.

[B]

You see what I'm saying?

[D]

So what happened was we were walking down the street and there was a man, right, In a full blown, like, suit, but it was like a black suit, right? And it was like a dirty black. But he was a young Mexican guy, right? He had mascara, long hair, right? And a little bit of rouge, you know, I mean, and a little bit of maybe like lip lipstick, like tent. Yeah. And he goes, are you Bobby Lego? Are you a vampire? Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And there was a second, right? And then another lady walked by. I go, I go, have you ever met a Hawaiian vampire? Right? And he, I could tell there was a second where I, I am, I can get punched in the face. But he goes, can I get a photo? You know what I mean? Because Hawaiian vampires love me. And that's what you have to understand, dude. I mean, that's the point.

[A]

That's a swing, though. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

No, it's not a swing, dude. Hawaiian werewolves and Hawaiian vampires. The zombies don't like me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also the mummies, the Hawaiian mummies, they don't like me, but I know my demographic. I know my demographic. And Hawaiian vampires and Hawaiian werewolves like me, okay? And I've seen the Hawaiian werewolves as well. They're more inland in the island. But anyway, what, what's so, so uncomfortable.

[B]

But he already knew who he, who you were, so I feel like that's a safe interaction.

[D]

Oh, yeah. I wouldn't, I've never, like, if he was sitting next to me in the elevator, he didn't know who I was and go, are you a Hawaiian vampire? That would be insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be absolutely, absolutely.

[B]

Sometimes you do take those swings and I'm like terrified to be around you. Like, usually I just look the other way.

[E]

When was the last swing you all took on a joke in public, do you remember? And you were so embarrassed.

[A]

She sees it all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay. Have. Now that you know you've Been friends for a long time. How far away do you stay? Away from him at the TSA line.

[A]

She knows. She knows about it?

[C]

No, I just turned and stuff.

[D]

Like, I don't.

[C]

I'm not with him.

[B]

Okay, great. That's the tactic I used as well, which is, like. Right. Pretend like we're not here together. Right? Perfect. Perfect. That's how I did it. That's how I survived. And she's just, you know, doing the same thing. It's the only way to be around you in the airport. Truly, you're like, just.

[A]

I, like. I don't, like, control.

[B]

A thing to behold.

[A]

I don't like control. And I'll tell you this. My friend Ramsay told me a secret.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And I. I. I do the Ramsay Badawi secret, which is when you go to the. You know, you have to show your ID at that checkpoint, and then we need to take a photo, right? I go, no, it's illegal.

[B]

What do they say?

[A]

They go, all right.

[B]

Really? You can. You can say no to that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, he says, I pro. He says something like, very like, attorney like. Or law like you. I mean, like, I withdraw my. You know, he says something.

[B]

Does he do it for fun or.

[D]

No, he.

[A]

No. Well, he's, you know, Persian, so he doesn't want to.

[B]

Oh, that's right.

[A]

Right. So he goes. I mean, I. Mindfully and thoughtfully, you know. I mean, will not participate in this. You know what I mean?

[B]

Have you done that, though?

[A]

I go, no, you just don't know.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And what did they say?

[A]

They have to go. All right.

[B]

Yeah, that's good to know.

[A]

Yeah, it's good to know. I mean, they don't. What do you. What. What's going on here? You're taking my photo. Why? You know what I mean?

[B]

Let's get back to the girls. Let's. Let's grill them.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So how many dates have you been on, Issa?

[C]

I have been on two.

[A]

Two. Which one did you like the most?

[B]

Wait, two? Who was the other one? The.

[C]

The white guy.

[B]

I didn't know about him.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

So here's the thing. The girls are dipping their toes into the white sands this year.

[C]

That's what we're calling white sands.

[A]

I've always dipped into white sands. Yeah, yeah. I'm a white sand. You like. Oh, Ozzy like white sands. He's so political, this guy. Yeah, but not all sands are the same.

[B]

I'm a black. No, wait, wait.

[A]

Not all sands are the same. Okay, good.

[B]

I'm a black sand beach kind of girl. I like dark sand.

[A]

I know you do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You like dark, Dark, darker the better.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Big pebbles. I like yellow sand. Little pebbles.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Little grains of sand. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Wait, the. The. You went on a. A date with a white sand?

[C]

Yeah, but I. I met him.

[A]

Yeah. What was white sands like?

[C]

He's. He's taller. He has white sands.

[A]

Usually are.

[C]

He has a mustache.

[A]

White sand mustache. Yeah.

[C]

And seem nice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I understand.

[B]

But then she has another crush on island.

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

Just, you know, crush.

[B]

Crush.

[A]

A crush on. On an island.

[B]

On brown sands.

[C]

On brown sands. Yeah. No, no, you don't got it.

[B]

But he's a. He's a. He's a. Yeah. Like a little star athlete, is he?

[A]

Let me ask you. Can I ask you a specific. Is it black sand or brown sand?

[C]

I like. I literally. I have dipped all my toes into all the sands.

[E]

Oh, like that image, brother.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Beaches in Nigeria. Beaches. Does Nigeria have beaches? I don't know. Beaches in Argentina, beaches in Long Beach. I see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you've been all over the world.

[B]

Struggling with f. There.

[A]

Don't be rude. Speech impediment.

[B]

I have a facial impediment. So I can do. I can say it.

[A]

Yeah. Harvey Dent. All right, so you. You like, sans. From all over the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about you?

[C]

I like all too.

[A]

You like all sands? Yeah, but like, sand's nice, huh? Yeah. I mean, with the blue ocean, you can see them.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

You can see the pink coral.

[E]

Everyone went like,

[A]

do not. The ocean doesn't have pink coral.

[B]

I have. Look at the coral on my neck.

[A]

Exactly like that. That's what I'm saying.

[B]

It's Mediterranean.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I love Mediterranean. Pink coral.

[B]

It's not pink, it's orange.

[A]

Whatever it is, it's coral.

[B]

Coral.

[A]

Yeah. To me it's pink. Let's move on from that then.

[B]

Coral is really pretty, though.

[A]

It is very pretty in the blue. In the white sands. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree. Yeah, yeah. The blue is the blue eyes, you know?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

The sands is the color of the skin.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the coral is whatever it might be. Whatever you interpret the coral. Whatever you interpret the coral to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

But.

[A]

Yeah. So you like all sand. So you're. You have a crush on brown sand right now? What's going on? Does he know you exist?

[C]

He knows.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I just don't get him.

[E]

What kind of athlete is it?

[B]

Like football.

[E]

I feel like everyone plays Football.

[B]

Just guess.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Rugby.

[B]

The biggest. Go ahead. Yes. He already knows.

[A]

What is it? Let me just try to guess. Basketball. Oh, oh, I know. I know. That. That new slapping UFC thing that they do.

[B]

The power slap.

[A]

Diving.

[D]

Diving.

[A]

Diving. Diving. Diving. No, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what it is. Volleyball.

[B]

Yes, Volleyball.

[A]

Volleyball. He's a. He's a professional volleyball.

[C]

Are we going to, uh, game later? Okay.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

That seems like a sport that I wouldn't like to go live.

[C]

It's super. Oh, my gosh. We've been going. It's so cool.

[B]

You should go tonight. Bobby. Uh, is you. It's so good and fun and exciting. Yes. Packed.

[A]

You guys are going?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You're going to. I know at our hotel there's a lot of Japanese.

[B]

You have a problem with that.

[A]

Well, a lot of them.

[B]

I love that seg.

[A]

Oh, yeah, the Segway. Yeah. Well, I'm on Lexapro, so my Segways are off. Sorry.

[B]

Lexapro, the anti segmentation.

[A]

Well, I can't come either. You know that, right?

[B]

I know that feeling.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was on terrible SSRIs for a long time.

[A]

Terrible.

[B]

And I. It's like you want to have sex and it feels good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You cannot, but that you will eventually get there. Just give it more time.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

What are you on at? 10 milligrams? 5.

[A]

10.

[B]

Yeah. You're good. You're going to get it back. It just. It just takes a while, but it

[A]

really is helping with everything. That's what I hear with the ruminating thoughts. It's like. Like 70% gone.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, it really helps with that. It's. It's really interesting. Like, so stuff that I would be jealous of, you know, because I get jealous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I mean. And I go, what the. Right. Right. I don't. It's like a second and then it's gone. Rather than, like, if I. If I get jealous and then two hours will go by. Three hours. I'll still think about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, one of the new jealousies. That was a second. But I know that if I wasn't on Lexapro, I would dwell on it for three days. Is. Remember McCone texts me. Remember I helped you with this audition? Right. And we worked on it for a day. Well, this is it. It was Rory Scoville that got it. It's an HBO Steve Carell thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you know what I mean? I don't know. To make, because I think he's against me. But for a split second, I'm Like. But then I watched the clip and I'm like, he. He did such a better job than I did in the audition.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I mean, he's such a great actor. He's such a great stand up. He's so likable. And I was just like, yeah, fuck it. You know, I mean, but I think that I would have been, like, dwelling on it for days maybe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I could now watch myself in things because I watched my special a couple of times through, which is a miracle.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

It's a miracle because, you know, remember when we went to the Reservation Dogs premiere?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I had to walk out of the room when my scene was going to come up, remember? And I watched it from the side almost, but I'm like, oh, it's pretty good. So I sat back down.

[B]

You're also just very much a part of the process. Like, you've been sending me, like, different fonts, different opening, like, clips and montages.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And those are things that you would not have participated in at all. You would have been like, whatever, whatever. Like.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like, you know, not want to see it at all.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And I feel like that's really cool that, like, you're like, well, I send

[A]

you awful things, too.

[B]

I can't even watch, like, fake animal abuse because I was like, oh, I don't think this show is for me after that scene. Because I was like, I cannot watch, like, an animal fake die.

[A]

I mean, I've said this before on this podcast and it's the. The movie signs. There's. I love that movie. But. But that. But it's like there's a scene where they board up the house and they hear their dog getting murdered by an alien.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? And in my mind, I was like, he comes in before the kids.

[B]

Together.

[A]

No, for first.

[B]

Not together.

[A]

Maybe together.

[B]

Together.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But I'm just saying he's a part of, like.

[D]

You mean. Come on, Fluffo.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You mean get in.

[D]

Right.

[C]

They should have died.

[A]

You think so?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. They left their dog.

[A]

You die, too.

[C]

You die, too.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's. And they hear it getting slaughtered and it's like, why would anybody. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Any animal. You know, when they, you know, I mean.

[B]

Which makes me think that M. Night Shyamalan is not an animal lover.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because it's like a true animal lover won't take, like, like, creative liberties to make an animal die outside like that. Like that. That brings me no joy as someone Watching a movie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The redemption would be like, oh, my God. Minute. And here he is with us. Like, that's such a. More Feel good.

[A]

I. I rewatched 2014 Godzilla.

[B]

Uhhuh.

[A]

And there's a scene.

[B]

Is that one with Moto. What's his name? What's his name?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, Moto.

[B]

Moto, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that. That is a Moto. Yeah, those two.

[B]

Which one is this?

[A]

Mothra.

[B]

Oh, Mothra.

[A]

Yeah,

[D]

Moto.

[B]

We watch it in the movies. I just forgot.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, not the first. No, the one with Bryan Cranston.

[B]

I like that one.

[A]

So, yeah. So there's a scene in Hawaii when. When a tsunami is coming in. Well, it's really Godzilla rising, which causing a tsunami. And there's a family at the Hilton, which is, by the way. Right. A human death trap.

[B]

The Hilton Hawaii. The Hilton Village.

[A]

Imagine staying at the Hilton in Waikiki. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

I.

[A]

It would be a nightmare for me.

[B]

I think one time you were in line because one of your jobs put you at the Hilton.

[A]

Oh, it's my PI. I remember that.

[B]

And then you cried. You called me crying.

[D]

I cried.

[A]

Not only did I cry, not I cry. I called the producers. I go, I'm not staying here. I'm gonna pay for my own hotel.

[B]

Yeah. And you ended up staying at the Lay Low, which you.

[A]

At the Lay Low, which I love.

[D]

But it's like I've been in line

[B]

for an hour and a half.

[A]

It's like. I know, but I cried. You know what I mean?

[B]

You were really in a bad.

[A]

Yeah, because it was like. Like I felt like a human death trap.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You mean? And I go, I. I'll pay for my own hotel. You know? You know, it's a TV show. It's fine. You know what I mean? And it's like. But what was it? Oh, yeah.

[D]

So in.

[A]

In Godzilla, when Godzilla rises, there is a dog. You mean, tied to a tree? And the family runs without the dog.

[B]

Dumb.

[A]

Right. Makes me so mad because the first thing I would do, I think the family had a kid too, but I

[D]

would still have the kid.

[A]

It was like a. You know what I mean? Or. And I would grab the leash, untie him, and run with the dog.

[D]

But at the last second, the dog gets out.

[B]

Oh, thank God.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And they show the dog. I think the dog died because they don't show that part. It was.

[D]

The wave was way too big for

[A]

the dog to survive. But my point though, being is, is that at least that he did escape in that situation. Because Gobi's my dog too. Gobi's not tied.

[D]

But what do you do with Gobi?

[B]

We're running together, baby.

[D]

Oh, so she's running.

[A]

Oh, so you think that she's my girl too?

[B]

Yeah, I don't. You can't run.

[C]

Yeah, you.

[B]

You trip on third step.

[C]

If. If Aloa was there, he would carry

[B]

everyone, and you included. Yeah, but you carry everyone on his shoulders. And then Goby would be on top.

[D]

Yeah, that's what d's do. All right.

[B]

I call it.

[D]

These cover everybody.

[B]

You know what?

[D]

I'm a B minus.

[B]

I call him.

[D]

Yeah, I need to be carried.

[B]

I call him a sherpapa.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's such a sherpa. He can carry.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Everything.

[D]

I, I, I, I, I. I'll give him this. Right? I would. I think that he would be better decision make,

[C]

Of course.

[D]

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[A]

What? Aloha.

[C]

It's just better.

[D]

Wait, wait.

[C]

If it's between you and him, I would just go to Aloha to survive.

[D]

Oh, see, you wouldn't go. My direction.

[E]

Give different scenarios.

[D]

Maybe.

[E]

Maybe you have.

[D]

I'll give you a scenario. Okay.

[A]

Aloha. Me and you, we're at the beach.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[D]

Tsunami is coming in.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Aloha goes.

[A]

You mean, let's go this way?

[D]

And I go, no, I think it's better this way.

[A]

You're gonna go with him? Yeah. Okay.

[D]

I'm gonna tell you this list right now.

[A]

Wrong.

[D]

Because I value my life.

[C]

Aloha does it.

[A]

I don't.

[D]

I go ahead.

[C]

But the way Aloha does it is he's like, oh, but the wave looks like it's like 10 steps.

[B]

Like, he knows about.

[D]

I know about currents.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I know about currents.

[D]

Yeah, I know about currents.

[B]

Aloha is salt of the earth. He is so a man of the ocean.

[D]

I'm the pepper of the earth.

[B]

Yeah. We call him.

[D]

Everyone calls me the pepper of the Earth. Okay. And. Yeah. What?

[A]

What?

[D]

What does that mean? Well, what does salt of the earth mean? Okay, well, given the definition of sort of the earth, I'm pepper of the earth, dude. And I'll tell you this right now. You can't have one without the other.

[A]

All right?

[D]

Either one wins in that situation. Okay, so what I'm saying is that you don't know.

[B]

Can I just say something about salt and pepper? The big difference.

[D]

Okay, tell me the difference.

[B]

A human cannot live without salt. You can live without pepper.

[D]

I can't.

[B]

You can live without pepper. It's not an essential Thing to have in your body.

[D]

Give me the difference of salt of the earth.

[B]

Salt of the earth refers to people who are honest, reliable, fundamentally good, often representing the best of both humble elements. Elements of society. Pepper of the earth is not a common idiom, like rather a phrase sometimes used to describe the hottest natural chili peppers on earth.

[A]

Dude, bro, you want to go where

[D]

the heat is, dude. Follow the heat. Follow the heat, dude. Don't follow a good person. You follow the guy that wants to survive, that will do anything to survive.

[B]

You know that's true because Bobby is what I always call a cockroach.

[D]

Yeah, I'm a comrade.

[B]

He can live without his head for 20 days.

[D]

For 20 days, dude.

[B]

Yes, he is a survivor. So I wouldn't knock him completely. Yeah, yeah, I did.

[C]

Remember when Julio escaped and you were the one that ran towards him?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And you were getting bitten and just bleeding.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you know about this? So you know Julio.

[D]

That's pepper.

[B]

Yes, pepper. So one time Julio escaped the home and then Bobby, it was your fault, so you had to be.

[D]

No, it wasn't.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Anyway, someone left the gate open.

[D]

Yeah, it's no one's fault. And also.

[B]

So you ran out into the neighborhood in your underwear. Foot. Bare feet.

[D]

Yeah, bare feet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then a guy with a husky. Because Julio then tried to attack a man with a.

[D]

There was a woman. No, there was a woman with a scarf as well.

[B]

That was second. That was after you almost got maced.

[D]

Oh, that's right.

[B]

So. And then Julio then approaches the man with a husky and the man's. And then the man has pepper spray on him. And instead of trying to pepper spray Julio, he accidentally pepper sprays a naked Bobby on the street.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And then said Julio runs up, finds a woman with a skirt.

[A]

Scarf.

[B]

The scarf.

[A]

And he starts trying to bite her neck.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And I just grabbed Julio by the fucking neck.

[B]

And then Julio bites him, puts holes in his face.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. It was like the platoon cover.

[F]

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[B]

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[F]

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[D]

I mean, just like I'm the pepper of the earth. Yeah, yeah. I'm the pepper of the earth. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Shame on you. And you know What? Jules got.

[D]

Shame on you.

[B]

Shame on you. Shame on you.

[D]

All right. May shame overcome you. May you be drowned by the shame.

[B]

Too late.

[D]

Okay, all of you, because I'm a survivor. And in that situation, and. And God forbid we don't get in that situation, but I. I would really strongly advise you. You specifically, Juliana, to follow me.

[A]

Okay, in that situation.

[D]

I know you're not. I know you're not going to. Right. You're gonna follow. You know, I mean, aloha.

[A]

Right.

[D]

But at the end of the day, there'll be two boxes waiting for you. And I'll be the one that live.

[B]

What. What are the boxes?

[D]

They're like caskets.

[A]

That's what they. All right, so if you want to

[D]

live, run with me.

[E]

Are there any situations where you would follow Bobby? What is something you would trust him in?

[D]

I don't think she's gonna say anything.

[A]

She's.

[D]

There's no way she's going to come up with it.

[C]

I think anything with, like, technology, I think. To Bobby.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Technology.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You're really good.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

He's like, that's it.

[D]

Yeah, I get. How do you log into your Instagram?

[A]

No.

[D]

In a survival. In a survival situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I don't know.

[D]

Just say no, then.

[B]

No, there are. I can think of a couple things.

[D]

Okay. Think of something that you would follow.

[B]

You would be a better getaway driver because you're so reckless and wild. Like, the way you drive is, like, crazy, right?

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So I feel as though you do have the technical skills of, like, someone

[D]

that would be, like, Tokyo Drift stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Tokyo Drift.

[B]

He's a. He's a very good driver, and he drives, like, big trucks and stuff like that. But you're, like, just erratic. Crazy.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You're crazy.

[D]

I don't follow the rules.

[B]

No. And you're fearless, so you're just, like, you know.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I speed up when I see a speed bump. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like that. So I. So getaway driver.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

That's a good one, I would think. Here's where we would really need you as a family. Underground bunker.

[A]

Oh, dude.

[B]

Because we don't have the money.

[D]

That has nothing to do with technology.

[B]

Technology.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

But that's. That has nothing to do with a skill set.

[B]

I mean, you would pay aloha to build it, but we would still need the money.

[D]

I don't have that much money to build a bunker.

[B]

I think we could, as a family. Could we all put our Money together.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And get, like, a bunker somewhere.

[D]

I mean, I did buy Balenciaga slippers, I heard.

[B]

Are those it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it looks like a kid just spray painted on some slides. I'm, like, mad at it.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get mad. You know, but have you ever heard of.

[B]

What's it called? You know the term, like, altruism, Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what altruism means? Which is, like, when people, like, give out of, like, the goodness of their heart or whatever.

[A]

You knew? As good at that as Andrew.

[B]

He is.

[A]

Due to Andrew Santino.

[B]

What does he give to?

[A]

He's highly involved with Special Olympics.

[B]

Oh, that's cool.

[A]

And so he set up a baseball game between comics and. And the people that he's trying to help. And it was a really beautiful day, you know, and he's out there with his megaphone and giving people, like, directions. A little controlling, but, like, you know what I mean? Yeah, a little controlling, but. No, he has a really, really good heart, you know? I mean, so that's altruistic.

[B]

It is altruistic.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's super.

[A]

Yeah. Gilbert, when's the last time I had an outburst?

[B]

Oh, yeah. With me, right before Remy died. Oh.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That wasn't an outburst.

[B]

You cussed me out.

[A]

I know. That was.

[E]

An operation's running high, though.

[A]

Emotions were running high.

[B]

No, he was just having diarrhea, and he was mad. So he calls me on the day that my. That EB goes into Sephora, and I'm like, this is my special day. Blah, blah, blah. And as I'm there, he's just like, I need help. Like, it's coming out both ends. I have diarrhea. I can't stop vomiting. So I was like, okay, fine. When do you get in so we can get you, like, an IV nurse? So everyone coordinates. My sister coordinates. We get him an IV nurse. As soon as he lands at midnight, she comes in, he starts to feel better. I then get on the phone with him, and I'm like, you know, we get into a conversation, but then he starts being an absolute asshole. He starts saying, how you. Why are you like that? Blah, blah, blah. So I was like, you don't get to talk to me like that. And I hang up.

[C]

Up.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

You don't talk to me for days after that.

[B]

No, it was one day. Because then the next day, I had to tell you that we had. Remy was not feeling good.

[A]

One day.

[B]

Yeah, but that was the last outburst. But you cannot, like. You can't, like, yell at the people who Are trying to fix your diarrhea, bro.

[C]

Everyone was taking care of you.

[B]

Everyone. Literally. Like, my sister was there at midnight with the nurse. They were all around him. They were taking pictures of him. And he was like there like a. Like a queen on the bed.

[A]

Okay, I'm sorry. I apologize. It's not just diarrhea, okay? Let me tell you something, okay? Like, like the print. There's levels. There's levels to diarrhea, okay? Right? There's one squirt. Now I'm done. High type of diarrhea, okay? There's intermittent diary. Intermittent. I like intermittent, intermittent diarrhea where it's like, it's done. You wait an hour, it's not done. Right. Have you ever been in that situation?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, finally it's done.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Two hours later, I'm back. Yeah. I mean, like that dog running from that tsunami, right? From the bed to the toilet. You know what I mean? Like, I'm gonna die. Okay. Then there's Pompeii, the island of Pompeii. Right? Eruptions, right? And it kills all the villagers. Right? That's what. I had that on both ends.

[B]

I know. And then.

[A]

Yeah. Pompeii through my mouth. Pompeii through my butt.

[B]

Your mom was like, picking up the diaper, you know, wear a diaper and

[C]

she was cleaning your poo on your bed.

[B]

You can't attack us during those times.

[A]

Did I attack that her? When I did? Okay, when pop pay happens, right? When Pompeii happens. Okay. I did not attack her. I was very grateful that she did that. Right. And yes, there was poo on my pad.

[B]

Yeah, that's what she said. But then I was like, you know what? Like, I'm just gonna forgive him because I think he's got low electrolytes. He's not thinking straight.

[A]

Thank you so much. I had no electrolytes, actually. Thank you very much. Okay, so you know, in that situation when you have Pompeii, no electrolytes. Okay. All right. Also, that week was the worst week of my life.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because I went from sack at night, got in at three in the morning, Then three hours later, I had to go to Philadelphia. Right? And then that's when Pompeii happened. Right. And then straight to San Jose. Right? So it was like. And that was all in, like a five day period of, like, no sleeping, Pompeii happening. Working. You know, it was a tough week. The week ovi. I took too much of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And so I'm switching medications because it Makes me vomit and Pompeii all over again.

[B]

And we had to talk the next day because, you know, our.

[A]

Our dog died. I know what's weird is sometimes I take the dogs out myself, and I have to go grab Remy because he can't walk. Right. And I took. I opened the door and I went in to grab Remy, but he was gone. You know what I mean? It's those little moments where you're like.

[B]

I know, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You just get used to their little bodies being somewhere in a corner, somewhere in your house.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And I've been. What I also is happening is I'm spending way more time with animals than normal, you know, I mean, I. I let Gooner in to spend the day with me in my. Because I don't let the cats in my room, but I like Gooner in. And we played under the COVID sheets.

[B]

Oh, unders.

[A]

Yeah, unders. Yeah, yeah. So I, you know, I made a cave.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I mean, with the blanket.

[D]

And he went in.

[A]

Right.

[D]

And I closed the cave.

[A]

Right. And I do. With the finger thing where he chases my finger, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I mean. And I spent like an hour doing that with him because of Remy. And also, Remy saved me because that's why I quit smoking.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[A]

Today's so. I've been. It's been 14 days.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How's it been?

[A]

Well, I do zins and stuff. Oh, but that's still nicotine.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, but that's still way better than a cigarette.

[D]

I mean.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I put my zen here. I'm gonna put it back in my mouth, but Gross.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Dude, all her micro reactions to you are insane.

[A]

Was that gross? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that made me go. It's. That's death. Everyone's gonna die. And I love my life so much. I'm like. I was like, two days after Remy died, I was smoking, and I looked at the cigarette, and I was like, what am I doing? You know? I mean, like, what the am I doing? And I put it out, and I just made a decision.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

It was like, a decision.

[B]

That's awesome, because your colonoscopy is coming up.

[D]

That's another decision.

[A]

I'm. I. I woke up early in the morning to get that interview so that I can have it.

[B]

Interview? It was a doctor's appointment.

[D]

I call it interview.

[A]

And I got the job.

[D]

I got the job. I got the job.

[A]

After winning interview, they go, yes, sir, we're going to do it. What?

[B]

This is where I need everyone to really come together as a family. I'm worried you're not going to prep correctly.

[C]

How do you prep?

[B]

He. He cannot eat. He has to only drink clear liquids. He has to take the.

[D]

What is considered a clear liquid.

[E]

Soups, broths, erewhon, bone broth.

[B]

So whoever's with him, whether. Whoever.

[D]

Somebody gotta like bone broth, gummies.

[B]

But if they go up there and they see corn and like, corn dogs or whatever, they're gonna be like, we couldn't visualize.

[A]

I haven't had a corn dog in four years. I love corn dogs, but I don't think that's something they'll find.

[B]

Honestly, I was like, I've been craving one. So that was the first thing that

[A]

came to my mind.

[B]

I love corn dogs.

[A]

What would they find if I did eat almonds?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like yogurt.

[B]

You just need to be like, clean.

[D]

I quit doing that.

[B]

Cereal.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been doing a deep dive into foods.

[B]

Great. Processed stuff.

[A]

Yeah. So it's like I.

[D]

What did I buy the other day?

[A]

Go, go take the mic and bring it to her.

[C]

Well, we had to carefully examine what kind of water we were buying.

[B]

Great. Are you go on Oasis?

[E]

So microplastics done.

[B]

Wait, have you. You guys look at the water on Oasis? Yeah, that's the app, right?

[D]

Yeah, it's an app.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

So no more Fiji?

[B]

No, Fiji's the worst.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No more essentials.

[B]

Is that what essential is? Not good either. Yeah, it's a lie.

[A]

Yeah. So we got bottled Italian water.

[B]

Is the aquapana.

[D]

No, no, that one wasn't very good.

[A]

I think that rating wasn't even good either.

[B]

Yeah, but the mountain valley, I heard, is a little high in arsenal.

[A]

No, we don't do mountain valley either. So we get foreign bottled water.

[B]

Can you tell me which one?

[A]

The best one is Icelandic or something.

[D]

That's what it's called. Icelandic is the best rated one. And that's what we're going to. Smart water is okay.

[C]

Smart water, if you have to go, it's 50.

[D]

50.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you're gonna go smart water, go smart one. We do smart water at home, but we're doing that.

[D]

I also got.

[B]

Isn't it crazy that, like, good water is not free? It, like, blows my mind.

[A]

It blows my mind.

[B]

Yeah. It's such a.

[C]

It's.

[B]

It's a basic thing to stay alive, and it's somehow something we have to buy is crazy. What a world.

[A]

It's another rabbit hole. It's like charging for air.

[B]

I know. It's like.

[A]

Yeah, you know what?

[B]

They'll probably do it if they could.

[A]

Yeah, I'm doing that. And I got a. A purple sweet potato Hawaiian.

[B]

Oh, my God. I eat sweet potatoes.

[A]

I bought a gigantic one this big, and she's like, when are you gonna cook it? I go, I'm gonna microwave.

[D]

Microwave it.

[B]

Wait, can I cook it for you guys? Okay. The way we do it. Well, the way aloha does it.

[A]

Oh, here we go. Yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

He does it so well. Okay, so he boils it first and then he slices it and then he chars it a little bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's like this charred sweet potato, crispy a skin.

[A]

I'm. I don't have the time to do that. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to take a paper towel, right? Wet it, wet it.

[B]

Yeah,

[A]

I'm doing it. I have it. I'm not gonna bring it to la. Yeah, yeah. They're gonna definitely open my bag and. What the is this? Yeah, yeah, no, I'm eating it here. Right. So I'm gonna put in a paper towel, wet the paper towel and just microwave it.

[B]

This is crazy. Who are you?

[A]

Yeah, I'm just gonna.

[B]

I'm like, so happy that you're actually caring about this.

[A]

And when I get home, going to do organic eggs, I'm just going to just boil them in the apparently vital farms.

[C]

Is a scam. It is.

[A]

It's not.

[E]

Don't get it.

[A]

Okay, okay. All right. Yeah. I will never eat nerds again.

[E]

That's crazy.

[A]

You're still eating nerds for the rest of my life. I will never eat nerds again. I will never eat a Reese's be peanut butter cup. He like, what?

[B]

He dead ass.

[C]

He went.

[B]

Do you know Donuts.

[C]

Health realization Donuts.

[B]

You're giving up donuts? What about all the snacks that you

[C]

get from K Town?

[A]

Yeah, I'm done.

[B]

From Paris Baguette.

[A]

I'm done.

[B]

Done.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, I'm done with. It's the number one killer longevity. Let's go. Yeah, yeah, I'm. I'm going on a.

[B]

Are you going to go full, like Gary Brea, you know?

[A]

Yeah, I'm going to go full Steveo.

[B]

Oh, you know, I still have my placenta. Do you guys want placenta pills?

[A]

What is the placenta?

[B]

It's basically, it is something that your body grows to help nourish the baby. Growing.

[A]

It's inside.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then.

[B]

And then you have to birth it after the baby comes out. Then you have to birth the placenta.

[A]

Does it come weeks later or the same day?

[B]

Hopefully.

[A]

But can you save it?

[B]

Yeah, people make it.

[A]

Can you save it in your body and do it two weeks later?

[B]

You can eat it. Oh, yeah. People eat it. Yeah, people eat it. People turn it into pills, put in their smoothies, stuff like that.

[A]

Oh, I've never had a placenta move smooth at Jamba Juice. They should have that place in the smoothie of Jamba Juice.

[C]

You put it on your skin at the. No collagen. Right?

[B]

Yeah. Because if you guys want breast milk, that's the ultimate.

[C]

Like, I tried that on you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you guys are on a health

[A]

wait, you've tried Auntie.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

For your pimples and it worked a little bit. That means no. Yeah, that means no. A little bit means no. Yeah. It did not help.

[D]

What is that?

[E]

Kalala? You can make some money.

[A]

100 placenta smoothie.

[E]

180. A smoothie bag.

[B]

I know, but the reason I can't is because it got defrosted in the fire.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much. How much smoothie can you get out of one placenta?

[B]

I'm not sure, but it's not light.

[D]

You would think three.

[A]

Three smoothies.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Because I want 20 placenta in my smoothie. I can't do 1% placenta. You're not getting for that.

[B]

I would say breast milk. Breast milk is the way to go. There's a man on. It was like, on some Netflix documentary a couple years ago where, like, he had cancer and he just went down this whole thing of, like, I swear breast milk is what's going to heal me. And then he went into remission. Obviously, that's like, you know, outlier, but. Yeah, he swears by it.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe I'll buy some placenta smoothie.

[B]

Not placenta, breast. You can buy breast milk online.

[A]

Oh, breast milk.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Could I have some of your blessed milk?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You can have some of my blessed milk. Yeah.

[A]

I said breast milk.

[C]

You said bless.

[A]

I said bless.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Breast milk.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.

[D]

I have, like.

[A]

How much? How much can I have?

[B]

A couple ounces.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

That's a lot. Yeah, That's a lot.

[A]

Yeah. Speaking of breast milk, friend. No, but have you seen the TV show Neighbors?

[B]

Oh, no, I saw Neighbors, like the Australian show.

[A]

There's a new show on HBO called Neighbors. Watch episode seven, please.

[D]

It's.

[A]

It's a documentary about neighbors.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Real. It's a real life. You know, I mean, I think Ben Safdie produces it, and it's on HBO Epics. So seven is the best television episode I've ever seen.

[B]

Is it standalone episodes? Like, I can just.

[D]

Yeah, they're standalone.

[A]

Yeah, you'll watch episode seven.

[D]

It's.

[A]

It's just every episode is two types. It's two. They show a story of two neighbors. Then they have some sort of grievance. You know what I mean? Like, for instance, see this table right here? This plot, like, this size of land they're fighting over?

[B]

Oh, this.

[A]

You don't mow this because it's mine.

[B]

And then.

[A]

Then they get guns and they get, you know, I mean, surveillance cameras. Right. But episode seven, there's only one guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They dedicate an episode to one guy. His name is Danny. I can say that. Right, Right. And it is crazy.

[B]

I want to watch it.

[A]

Yeah. It's 30 minutes. Like 40.

[B]

I love the concept.

[C]

It's so good.

[A]

So good, the show.

[B]

Well, I want to talk about this. Well, we couldn't. We didn't finish about the whole altruism thing. I don't know if Danny was altruistic, but I want. I listened to this Hidden.

[A]

He is not.

[B]

Okay? He's not.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He is not the opposite of it.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So I listened to this episode of Hidden Brain, and it's all about, like, altruism. And basically, this woman studies different kinds of people who help other people. But there's a type of altruistic person, and it's a scale. You're either completely sociopathic, which is, like, you have no empathy, or completely altruistic.

[A]

So there are people that are altruistic that naturally. But they have no empathy.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Is that what you're saying?

[B]

No, no, no. It's a spectrum. So there are people who. For instance. I'll give you an example. This lady studied anonymous kidney donors. And these are people who give their kidneys not because a family member needs it. There are people who are just like, you know what? I think that now that I know that there are people who need kidneys, I'm just gonna give mine and then never meet the recipient of this kidney donor. They just are so giving and altruistic that it gives it. They. They want to do this nice gesture without anything in return.

[A]

There's a Stardew Valley reference here, bud.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

So in the game Stardew Valley, have you played it? Yeah, yeah. Well, there's a lady that lives in a trailer named Pam. She drives the bus in town. Pelican Town.

[C]

The alcoholic.

[A]

No, Shane's the alcoholic. That's. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[B]

There's an alcoholic.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. Pam does like mead. You're right. You're right, right, right. She just. She does drink mead, but. How long you been doing podcasting, bud? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How long you doing podcasting, bud?

[C]

Just continue.

[B]

Just continue.

[A]

You don't know how to use a mic.

[C]

Just continue.

[A]

Anyway, there's a. There's a lady. I don't know if people are interested. People. You know, I've been getting stopped a lot about Stardew Valley from people, so I think people are interested. Have you heard of the game Ozzy? Okay, so. And she has a daughter named Penny, and Penny's the town teacher, and they have a. They live in a trailer. And sometime in the game, right, You. Robin, who's the arch? She does the. She's a builder. What do you call it? Carpenter. She's a carpenter. Right. So very good. Thank you. And there's a choice where you. You can, um, build, um, Pam, a house with your own money. It costs a lot of money. Right. There's a little thing in the game where Robin the. The carpenter. I'm trying to think of all the details. I know, because I'm trying to get it right. Anyway. So anyway, there's a point where Robin goes. Should I tell you what I mean, Pam and Penny, that you built it, or do you want to remain anonymous? And I always go anonymous. Oh, you know what I mean? And it's like, you know, I mean, because who cares? It's a video game. But I always go anonymous. Right. So then there's a cut scene where Robin goes. They'll ask, like, who built it? And Robin will go. That person would like to remain anonymous.

[B]

I think that's.

[A]

Is that what you're talking about?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

So there are people.

[A]

Anyway. That's a long way to go for that. I always have to do a Stardew Valley reference.

[B]

Okay. So when they did brain scans of these people who are just these incredibly altruistic people who would just give away, like, body parts, they saw that their amygdala was either, like, more lit up or, like, enlarged. So that part of their brain that, like, the feeling part of their brain. And so I wanted to ask you guys, like, on a scale from anonymous kidney donor to full sociopath, where do you think you are? Like, and if this is 10. The sociopath.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And 10 is altruistic kidney donor. Like, where do you think you fall?

[D]

Three.

[B]

Three? Why?

[A]

You don't believe? Three?

[B]

No. I think you're extremely generous. I think that you just don't. You're extremely generous.

[A]

I'm generous in a certain way, yeah. Okay, so I'm generous with money. Money, Yeah. I. I tip very well, and then I think I could be the best tipper.

[B]

I think so in.

[A]

In town.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, do you agree?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, even if the service is really bad and they slap him in the face, he'll still, like, tip him 100.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So I'm good with that. Right. I'm good with homeless.

[B]

That's a weird way to say it.

[A]

I'm the best in the business. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I'm really good with homeless.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? I'll do stuff like anonymous homeless tips. I've already told the story, but there was a guy with a cart. He went into 7 11, and he had a cart on top of his car. He had some sort of, like. It looked like a Bible and it was white for some reason. And I took a hundred dollars while he was in the store. I lifted up real quick. I put a hundred dollars in there and closed it. I just left. You know what I mean? I'll do, like, mystery stuff like that. You know what I mean? Yeah. Anyway, thanks for listening.

[B]

Let's close it with your altruism score. Where do you think you lie?

[C]

I think I lie, like, in the middle. Because I know sometimes I do things for people just because I like seeing that, that they get, like, happy about it. But I also know that sometimes I've done things to get other things in return. Yeah, I think I'd be like a two or three as well.

[B]

I think you're pretty good. Yeah, I think both of you are pretty good. Yeah.

[A]

What are you?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I think you're a one.

[B]

I cannot give my kidney away to the stranger, though.

[A]

No, I know the kidney. I know body parts is crazy, but it's like, I think that you're extremely giving.

[B]

Wish Issa a happy birthday.

[A]

Happy birthday to Issa. You guys, I'll see you soon. Tomorrow we're having lunch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you for having us, Ozzy.

[B]

Thank you for having studios.

[A]

What's the studio called? The Kind Media. If you're in Hawaii and you want the best place to do podcasting, this

[B]

is actually a great.

[A]

Yeah, it's a great studio. So go to the Kind Studios.

[B]

It's a great place.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

All.

[B]

Abomola. Shokomoki, shukuluki, moki, salaman feet and bokobani.

[C]

Ay, makabaloli.