Trevor Wallace & The Dr. Dre Conversion

Summary

TigerBelly – "Trevor Wallace & The Dr. Dre Conversion"

Release Date: February 4, 2026
Host: Bobby Lee with Khalyla
Guest: Trevor Wallace (comedian)

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Episode Overview

This episode of TigerBelly is a classic hangout featuring a full house of comics and friends, including returning guest Trevor Wallace. The conversation is a vibrant tapestry of half-truths, taboo topics, stand-up comedy grind stories, and a running exploration of what it takes to convert Bobby Lee—religiously, professionally, or romantically. There’s plenty of riffing on comedy culture, useless talents, personal insecurities, and a memorable (and somewhat absurdist) discussion about religious conversion, celebrity influence, and social boundaries.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Comedy, Identity, and 'Conversion' ([26:38–41:00]**)

• The Comedy Store 'Dr. Dre Conversion' Story:
  Bobby recounts how a Comedy Store doorman approached him to talk about Jesus after hearing him on a Christian-leaning podcast. The gang debates the etiquette of such a move, generational gaps in social boundaries, and self-awareness as a public figure.

  • Bobby: "Is the younger generation now, they don't know rules. Too confident. You feel like way too confident… when I was a doorman, if I would've said hi to, like, Martin Lawrence in the 90s or Chris Rock, I would have got fired." ([29:56])
  • The group debates who, if anyone, could successfully convert Bobby to a new religion—including a running gag about only being persuaded by major celebrities (Dr. Dre, Barack Obama, or “a riot chick with a big rack”).

• Social Etiquette at Comedy Venues:
  Discussion about the importance of boundaries and how some comics can be too approachable, leading to odd or inappropriate interactions.

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2. Comic Chemistry and Mutual Roasting ([09:00–11:01], [52:43–53:18]**)

• Nose Jokes and Roasts:
  A light-hearted roast thread emerges, with comics poking fun at Ramsey’s nose pores, French stereotypes, and each other’s looks.

  • Trevor to Ramsey: “You got Schindler’s List written on your nose.” ([09:26])
  • Bobby: “Do you know Cat much or no?” Trevor: “Seen at the store, but never met officially. Great nose, by the way.” ([09:55–10:01])

• Complimenting and Supporting Each Other:
  The group reflects on their stand-up journeys, highlighting moments of supporting and watching each other on the grind, and Bobby praises younger comics coming up through the scene.

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3. Mental Health and Post-Special Letdown ([13:46–14:43]**)

• Lexapro, Anxiety, and Creative Lows:
  Bobby reveals he’s started Lexapro, explaining how “ruminating thoughts are not as intense” and discussing the emotional crash following the adrenaline of shooting a special.
  • Bobby: “I go into these loops... Even after the special, that week was terrible. I think it was like I worked on it for so long it was done… and then once it happened... I just went into a depression, mainly because I have to write another hour.” ([14:02–14:41])

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4. Comedy Special Production and Distribution ([14:59–15:42], [91:18–91:38]**)

• Trevor Wallace and Bobby on Specials:
  Trevor shares he has a new special coming up (March 13–14, Arizona), and discusses the evolving strategy of selling directly via YouTube for reach and engagement.
  • They discuss title choices, aesthetic direction, and nerves about reception.

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5. Stand-Up Comedy Culture: Open Mics and Origins ([55:56–56:53], [59:02–61:46]**)

• Open Mic War Stories:
  Detailed anecdotes from the early (and late) days of stand-up, including being drawn last at midnight open mics, the agony and hope at the Westside Comedy Theater, and the legendary Dublin’s Tuesday nights.
  • Trevor: “They pull 25 names up top… you just realize that you could be that last spot. It’s almost worse than if you didn’t get pulled.” ([56:13])
  • Bobby: “Tuesday night, Dublin’s… you would walk into this packed room and it was—there’s Justin Timberlake, Cameron Diaz... everyone was there.” ([61:25])

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6. ‘Selling Out’ – Would You Quit Comedy for Big Money? ([51:00–52:12]**)

• Hypothetical debate: Would the crew quit comedy and start an OnlyFans group for $250,000/month if it meant quitting comedy and doing explicit content together? Hilarious yet honest answers, with arms-length negotiation and deflections.

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7. The 'Celebrity Conversion Scale' – Who Could Persuade Bobby? ([40:24–41:55], [41:58–42:29]**)

• The room riffs on which celebrities have enough clout to convert Bobby to a religion. The scale goes from Jake Johnson and Josh Peck (yes) to Puff Daddy and Gypsy Rose (no), with Dr. Dre and Barack Obama being at the top of the list.
  • Bobby: “If it was like Dr. Dre… anyone from NWA… they could convert me. Ice Cube, any of those guys.” ([41:28])

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8. OnlyFans, Adult Industry, and Personal Limits ([49:09–50:43]**)

• Trevor and Bobby discuss the blurred lines between OnlyFans creators and traditional pornography, what counts as “going too far,” and the economics of online sex work.
  • Trevor: “I literally think it's a gateway drug to porn… even all the comics doing OFTV, I’m like, they’re showing [nudes] soon.” ([49:57])

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9. Bombing Stories, Survival, and Self-Doubt in Comedy ([63:22–67:14], [67:22–71:24]**)

• Bombing in High Stakes:
  Bobby tells a harrowing story of bombing in front of major Hollywood people at a Chocolate Sundays–style showcase, following child rappers who got a standing ovation.

  • Bobby: “But if it doesn’t work, I used to get in my head. What’s your backup? There is none.” ([66:54])

• On Perseverance:
  Panelists share the pain of dying onstage and their self-destructive inner dialogue—contrasted with playful ribbing and mutual encouragement.

  • Bobby: “When I bomb, I go inside myself and I destroy myself so I can rebuild.” ([69:10])

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10. Personal Growth and Finding Your Comedy Voice ([76:07–77:50]**)

• All share how, early in their careers, they mimicked more established comedians’ voices and personas until they found their own authentic voices.
  • Trevor: “You try it all on; you see what fits the best. Every guy is like, you know, parts of little pieces… and it all just goes away." ([76:45–76:52])
  • Bobby: “When I look at you, all three of you, I see you. I don’t see other people.” ([77:05])

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11. Random Absurdist Bits and Recurring Jokes

• Braille, Blindness and Beauty:
  The team improvises a sketch about Ray Charles, the aesthetics of blind masseuses, and whether blind people are lied to about looks ([78:37–82:19]).
• Cultural Nicknames and Comedy Store Lore:
  Bobby admits to calling people by nicknames like “no Neck” and “minion”; the cast plays “guess who” with Comedy Store regulars ([27:02–27:41]).
• Special Talent: Glue Thumbs:
  Bobby talks about making molds of his thumbs with glue as a kid—a unique “merch” idea—shedding light on his penchant for odd behaviors ([21:41–22:15]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On boundaries and new norms:
  "When I was a doorman… if I would’ve said hi to Martin Lawrence in the 90s… I would have got fired." – Bobby ([29:56])
• On conversion by icons:
  "The only way I could get converted is if it was like DiCaprio. It’s gotta be like Barack Obama." – Bobby ([36:07])
• On mental health after a special:
  "Even after the special, that week was terrible… I went into a depression, mainly because I have to write another hour." – Bobby ([14:02])
• On OnlyFans as a ‘gateway’:
  "I literally think it’s a gateway drug to porn… it starts with lingerie, then one nip." – Trevor ([49:57])
• On stand-up’s grind:
  "You just realize you could be that last spot. It’s almost worse than if you didn’t get pulled." – Trevor ([56:13])
• On self-acceptance:
  "When I look at you… I see you. I don’t see other people." – Bobby ([77:05])
• Riffing on Religion:
  "I'm not convertible. I think I'm open, though." – Bobby ([31:10])
• Concerning “merch”:
  "I used to make glue thumbs up. Should I sell this as merch? But I don’t want a murder to happen and have them put my thumbprints all over the house." – Bobby ([21:51–22:15])

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Comedy Store Door Guy and Religious Conversion: [26:38–41:00]
• Finding Your Comedy Voice: [76:07–77:50]
• Bombing in the Big Leagues: [63:22–67:14]
• OnlyFans and Selling Out Hypotheticals: [49:09–52:12]
• Mental Health/Lexapro Discussion: [13:46–14:43]
• Open Mic War Stories: [55:56–61:46]
• Glue Thumb Obsession: [21:41–22:15]
• Blindness, Braille & Beauty: [78:37–82:19]
• Who Could Convert Bobby (the ‘scale’): [40:24–41:55], [41:58–42:29]
• Constructed Roasts and Nose Jokes: [09:00–11:01]

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Takeaways and Tone

The episode’s signature TigerBelly vibe is loose, quick-witted, irreverent, and gleefully boundary-less. It blends heartfelt trade talk (the hardships and camaraderie of stand-up), personal vulnerability, and relentless, silly roasting. At its center is Bobby’s honest, self-effacing humor–whether grappling with depression, mulling conversion, or revisiting cringe/legend moments from comedy history. Trevor Wallace slots right in as an enthusiastic, quick-witted contributor to the melee.

For stand-up fans, this is a rich and hilarious window into the world of working comics—from the trenches of open mics to anxieties about specials, from jokes about nasal pores and glue-thumbs, to real questions about ethics, boundaries, and what it would take (or cost) to “convert.”

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Episode Highly Recommended to:

• Stand-up comedy fans
• Anyone curious about the LA stand-up scene and its social mores
• Listeners who appreciate fast-paced, candid, and unpredictable humor

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End of summary

Transcript

[A]

Happy birthday to us. Because Confetti Craze five Hour Energy Shots are back, baby. All cake, no sugar. You can have your cake and sip it too. Minus any sugar. Guilt cake ify your day with a quick, easy, portable, tasty caffeine boost. The Funfetti flavor is back on five hourenergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shots today. Strawberry banana. Five hour energy shots are also delicious. It is one of our favorite flavors. It reminds me of like when you're in the mall during the 90s and you get those little smoothie samples of strawberry banana. It's like that. With a tasty caffeine boost. The Funfetti flavor is back on FiveHouseEnergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shot today. Happy birthday to us. It's delicious. Get it?

[B]

Hi, I'm Bobby Lee and I created a graphic novel with my friend Matthew here. It's called Dead Weight. Look at how beautiful this is. Wow. Wow. Amazing. Dude, this looks great. Look at that. Oh, my God. Dude, you can get it everywhere. Books are sold. Barnes and noble, Amazon and gunnerbooks.com. it's rated R. Kung Fu Panda meets Kick ass. It's from my heart. And so please check it out. This is a good combination of these two.

[C]

Would you?

[A]

We'll see. I want them to debate. 10:00am Open mics. And if it's worth the time, Ramsay's.

[D]

Gonna win every debate. Even if he's like, yeah, okay, fine.

[C]

I was speech and debate champion in college.

[D]

Yeah, I know. I can just feel it. Even if it's, like, about periods and stuff, I feel like you'd win.

[A]

Yeah, you should debate her. Say why periods are bad. Women should stop.

[C]

I'm trying to navigate Bobby right now.

[D]

10:00Am do you wanna start with piano?

[B]

10:00Am I haven't been starting with a piano as of late, but maybe I will. Maybe I will.

[A]

Better protect your nose, Ramsey. Oh, he's covering his nose. Nice.

[B]

And beef, beef and salami and baloney. What's going on with your nose?

[C]

I was just covering it up.

[B]

Why?

[C]

I just don't want. I don't want it to be any inspiration for your.

[B]

Anything as he goes. If it was, I would start with holes in the nose. I'm not talking about nostrils.

[E]

Okay?

[B]

That's like. Are you trying to win a competition?

[C]

I talked to a doctor. They said it was normal.

[D]

Okay, what is wrong with your nose?

[B]

He's got. He's got 10,000 pores inside his.

[C]

On the nose, which is natural, according to my.

[E]

My dermatologist.

[B]

I've just never seen it. Natural amongst what, sand people?

[C]

She did not.

[D]

That's not a very nice word. He's Muslim.

[C]

Yeah. Thank you very much.

[B]

No, I'm talking about Star wars reference. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So. Because if you. I know there were men wearing masks in the movie.

[A]

Damn cat.

[B]

God damn cat. Crazy.

[C]

This is crazy.

[B]

Holes in the nose.

[C]

Normal holes.

[B]

Normal hose. You know? But women find you attractive.

[C]

They do.

[A]

Very.

[B]

There's one girl. I, I. I told you who it was that went, is. Is Ramsey single? And in my mind, I'm like, it was the first time where I went, oh, he could be attractive.

[C]

What do you mean, could be? Could be attractive?

[B]

Because when I look at you, I don't see it. I can only see it through other people's eyes. Uhhuh. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, would you find him attractive?

[D]

Yeah, I think so.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Thanks, Catbird.

[D]

But do. But do you see, like, your openers on stage and you're like, oh, there's no way that they're hot?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, is that why I go?

[B]

What?

[C]

Is that why you take me?

[B]

What?

[C]

Because there's no way that you think I can get any of the women.

[B]

I don't know why I take you. I haven't really thought about why.

[C]

Let's not get it. Let's not get too much.

[B]

Although. Although somebody on my DM said, can you bring Catbird to San Jose?

[C]

Interesting.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Now, we did have a. I don't.

[B]

Know if I can use her because, you know, Santino uses her.

[C]

Oh, wait.

[D]

But I don't have pores in my nose.

[C]

Oh, no. I take a porous guy who's loyal.

[B]

You have pores on your vag. Oh, how do you know that? That's kind of weird. Yeah. What?

[C]

I don't care for the disloyalty. I stay loyal.

[E]

I'm loyal.

[C]

Unless Santino's interested in. Then we'll talk.

[B]

You did a really good job at my special.

[C]

Did I?

[B]

I think you were running around and you really did. You know, because. Did you see my assistant there?

[C]

Bro, I was there.

[D]

You had an assistant there?

[E]

She was there.

[B]

Melanie.

[A]

At the after party.

[B]

Oh, she was at the after party.

[D]

She was eating Taco Bell.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, you. You know, I mean, you really did work hard.

[C]

Some would say. Some would say. Secured a spot in your tour.

[B]

I think so. I think you're right.

[C]

Some were saying.

[B]

Some would say.

[D]

Some would also say I could do maybe five minutes at the top.

[B]

You can host the show.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

You can host San Jose, you can feature, and I can. I can headline.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

What do you think?

[E]

Deal.

[D]

You can headline. That's okay.

[A]

We'll allow it.

[B]

Can I headline?

[E]

You can.

[B]

Thank you so much for letting me.

[C]

Have you done stand up.

[B]

Is that your favorite character in Star wars, though? The Sand People or Jawas? I mean, anyone. Anybody on tattooing? Probably you love.

[C]

I like the little guys with the hoods.

[B]

They're not tattooing Jawas guys.

[C]

Those guys are. Yeah, I like those guys.

[B]

You said that a lot in the movie. I don't know what utini means.

[A]

Is it Houdini?

[B]

No, they go Utini.

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[D]

Are they like little Italians?

[A]

These are the. They're called Tuscan Raiders, not sand people. Yeah, but they're the Tuscan raiders.

[C]

I did relate to them.

[D]

They look like the Raiders of Oakland a little bit.

[B]

Yeah, but Luke. Luke never calls them Tuscan raiders.

[A]

He does.

[B]

Yeah, in the movie. He sand people. Yeah. And so does Obi Wan, I think. But you saw the movie, right? I love that. That part. Yeah.

[C]

So good.

[B]

Yeah. So good.

[C]

Classic Star Wars.

[B]

So did you finish episode one of Game of Thrones?

[C]

I got pretty close.

[B]

You know, you never. Since we last talked, though.

[A]

You just started.

[B]

Yeah, the original. Not the new thing that's out the. Yeah, you never saw the original.

[C]

Just came out three weeks ago.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

I've never seen it either.

[C]

It was great.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

Guy. And he cut off the guy's head and did all that stuff.

[A]

Hey, man.

[B]

Hey, man.

[A]

Spoiler alerts for Kat.

[B]

Who hasn't seen it?

[D]

Is there a lot.

[B]

Why haven't you. Let's get down to this.

[C]

Get down to it.

[B]

Why haven't you seen it?

[D]

Because I think I tried to see it in the beginning and I was like, okay.

[B]

Okay, what? I know what this is about. Yeah.

[A]

I know the political.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

And I think it's. My ex boyfriend at the time was like, you gotta see it. And I just didn't like that. I just didn't want to see anything that he was seeing.

[C]

You know what? I think I have the same reason. Not the boyfriend, but the girlfriend thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That's why I don't really watch, like, basketball anymore. Like, I stopped watching football with Tim Tebow when he was on Death.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

Or whatever you say.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Because that was it for me.

[B]

Can we get stick. Stick with Game of Thrones?

[D]

Tim Tebow, you know, you dated him. No, no, no, no. He wouldn't. He wouldn't want to No, I didn't date Tim Tebow.

[B]

No.

[A]

No.

[D]

Because it. Wasn't he a virgin for a long time?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I think he's like a famous Christian.

[B]

Yeah. Go back to. Why would you so those. That's the only reason why you haven't seen that?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You're not a TV guy. No, girl. I mean.

[D]

Thanks.

[B]

Yeah. So are you going to finish episode one or.

[C]

No, I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about it.

[B]

I don't think. Well, I don't think. I don't think you're a TV guy.

[E]

No.

[A]

You didn't like it at all.

[C]

That's fine.

[B]

It gets. I thought you said you're going to watch it until the.

[C]

I'm going to watch the Red Wedding. That. I'll give you my word.

[B]

But you did. You have to watch Num Fitness one first.

[D]

But that's the thing about it. I don't like.

[B]

Wow. Trevor Long. Oh, thank God.

[C]

God.

[B]

Sidehawks here.

[A]

A star.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Do you say that cuz they're in the Super Bowl?

[B]

No, from this, your profile. You look like a hawk to me.

[E]

Thank you.

[B]

That's why I call you side from the side.

[E]

You kind of look like a. A Haribo Gummy bear.

[C]

Here we go.

[B]

You know what?

[E]

And I'm not saying Haribo because it.

[B]

Is a. Dude, it's the best brand.

[E]

It's the best brand.

[B]

Haribo of gummy bears are the best.

[D]

I love her.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But you know how confident you've gotten. I think a year ago you would have never slammed me back because I've.

[E]

Done the show and I know that you like zingers. You zip zap, zop on this show.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't.

[E]

Yes. In. You got to come in with heat.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You're big on the nose train today because.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I am on a nose train. Yeah, I see.

[E]

Talking about your guys noses, it's not my mind. Can I see your side profile?

[C]

It's not the profile he has an issue with. It's the porous level.

[E]

What does that mean?

[B]

Look closely at his nose and look at all the pores in his nose.

[C]

Trevor, you don't have to.

[E]

Oh yeah, that's a braille, man. You got Schindler's List written on your nose.

[B]

Dude, I was ready to. It's a line Dead Sea Scrolls that you can read. Yeah, yeah.

[E]

I would have never noticed that unless Bobby brought it up.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But now you do notice it, right?

[D]

Can you unsee it now?

[C]

Please don't. Let's let's not.

[E]

Yeah, I can.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Thanks.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Ramsey. Great guy. So I'm not gonna.

[B]

He's great comic. Great guy.

[E]

Great guy.

[B]

Yeah. Do you know Cat much or. No.

[E]

Seen at the store, but never met officially.

[D]

Nice cat.

[A]

Trevor.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

Great nose, by the way.

[D]

Thank you so much.

[E]

Can I see a side profile?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, is it German?

[D]

French?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

What is the stereotype of a French person?

[D]

Kind of like that.

[B]

Smells in the pits.

[D]

Smelly.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Hairy armpits.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Well.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Sluts.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Rude.

[D]

It's not. Not true.

[E]

Or French.

[B]

Sluts.

[D]

That's Menageris.

[B]

They're very.

[E]

What does that mean?

[B]

You know, they're very sexual people.

[C]

They're open.

[B]

They're open. And sexually. Yeah. I feel like I could get laid there.

[C]

Oh, big time.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You think?

[D]

Maybe once.

[E]

I think Irvine.

[B]

You think Irvine, California.

[E]

Clean up in Irvine.

[B]

Oh, wait, let me tell you. What. What parts of the country you think I do well in then? Why Irvine? Yeah.

[E]

Irvine.

[B]

Yeah. Irvine. Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

K town. Yeah.

[B]

K town, obviously.

[C]

San Francisco.

[E]

San Francisco.

[B]

San Francisco. Good.

[D]

Korea.

[B]

No. In this country.

[E]

North or south?

[D]

North.

[B]

Hawaii.

[E]

Destroy.

[B]

Destroy Hawaii. Destroy Hawaii. Where else?

[E]

I think that's it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Five places.

[B]

Okay. I'll tell you.

[E]

I think anywhere. I think. I really think anywhere.

[B]

I don't think anywhere, really. Like Lubbock? Not. I don't. Yeah. I don't do so well. Peoria, Illinois. I don't do so well, but who.

[E]

Does well out there?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

Do you want to do well out.

[B]

Jacksonville, Florida?

[E]

You don't want to do well out there? Where? Jacksonville, Florida.

[B]

I did actually. I did do one there.

[D]

Do one?

[B]

Yeah, I did one there and she was hot.

[C]

Yeah. I feel like the woman in Jacksonville who wants to fuck you is going to be really hot.

[B]

That's a good compliment.

[C]

The one there is going to be really.

[D]

10.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

The one is a 10.

[B]

The one there. Only one?

[C]

Well, if there is one, she's.

[B]

There is one. There is one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And you did. Can we pull her up? The one.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah, I did.

[E]

What do you have? Let's pull her up.

[B]

I got to get my phone, but I could show you.

[E]

Oh, really? You don't record with your phone in here.

[B]

What?

[E]

You don't record with your phone in here.

[B]

It's like I Forgot it upstairs.

[E]

5G thing.

[B]

Yeah. No, I mean, usually I do have my phone down here. I just don't have it right now.

[A]

Oh, here's what girls in Jacksonville look like. One of those girls.

[E]

The ones like a A history book.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

And also, that's not accurate. There's not one gold grill. There's not one white girl saying the word I can't say on there. Yeah.

[C]

I don't see an Invincible tattoo anywhere.

[B]

Yeah, I don't explain that joke well.

[C]

Like, kind of a white shotgun kind of tattoo. Cursive, invisible.

[B]

Invincible.

[D]

With Mark Wahlberg.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, let's just move past the joke.

[B]

No, no, I want to analyze it.

[C]

It was an attempt.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

That's what I'm here for.

[B]

Invincible tattoo. Okay. You know, can we come up with something else? Maybe that's. You know, I don't see.

[D]

How about Backdoor Babe?

[E]

I like that.

[B]

That's pretty good.

[E]

Maybe tap out logo. Whoa. Oh, Me on the nose. Speaking of on the nose. Jacksonville, you right there. It's above is Dade County.

[B]

Orlando to Jack. Orlando. Said so. So big.

[E]

For once, the nose jokes aren't on me, which is awesome.

[B]

Yeah, that was.

[C]

That was a tit for tat. We're even right now.

[E]

We are even. We are even.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Very good.

[B]

Good call back.

[E]

Hey, thanks, man. Appreciate that. Thank you.

[B]

Why.

[E]

Why isn't Steve on the show more often?

[B]

Steve who?

[E]

Your brother.

[B]

He hasn't been on in years, man.

[A]

Like 20.

[C]

He's.

[E]

He's probably number one. Lee, I'd say.

[B]

Oh, out of the Lee clan?

[E]

Out of the le.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? I would say he's number one, as well.

[D]

That's nice.

[E]

You know, I was really trying to rile you up, and I got nothing.

[C]

You know what it was?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

I just feel like people in the comments are like, where's Bobby's bro?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. You're not going to Riley up today.

[E]

Good. Because you know why? I texted Santino. I said, what can I do to piss off Bobby before.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And he literally said, bring up Steve and the fact that he's not on the show.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

So shout out to Santino. But it didn't. I like this mood you're in today.

[B]

It's a pretty good mood because I'm on Alexa Pro now.

[E]

Nice.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So I think it's. Wow. What do you. Wow?

[D]

Well, since when?

[B]

A couple weeks.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Congratulations.

[B]

Congratulations.

[E]

How do you feel?

[B]

Ruminating thoughts are not as intense.

[E]

Nice.

[B]

Because I. I go into these loops, you know, and I start thinking about something, and I just get super depressed because I'll just thinking of negative things constantly. Even after the special. That week was terrible.

[E]

Why is that?

[B]

Because I think it was like I worked on it for so long it was done. And I had so much anxiety over the year, just even, you know, getting ready for it. And then once it happened, it went fine, but I know I just went. I went into a depression, I think mainly because I have to write another hour. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard.

[C]

Not for a while though. You have like a year.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

But put it out in five years, I think.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

You can still run the same house.

[B]

Yeah. I think, you know, honestly, I'll probably do another one. Three years.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I like that.

[D]

That's not that long. Three years.

[B]

I think in three years I'll have one. I'll tour it and then do another one. How many have you done?

[E]

One.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Shooting another one. March, though. March 13th.

[B]

For who?

[E]

For me. Oh, I don't know.

[D]

Was it Pterodactyl?

[E]

Pterodactyl was the first one.

[B]

Yeah. Why don't. What was the first one?

[E]

What was the first one?

[B]

Prime. Amazon Prime. You sold it there?

[E]

Yes, Prime. I don't have a buyer yet, but we're just going to shoot it and see what happens. I don't even care if it goes on YouTube. I feel like that that's almost like second. That's like might be best case scenario. Cuz I already have the audience there and you can just drive so many clips to it on there that I don't really know.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I'm honestly surprised. You got a 4.3 out of 5. I'll take that all day. That's not bad.

[D]

I'm scaling. Yeah. 4.3 out of 5. So.

[E]

But that's an 8.6. That's 86%.

[D]

That's not bad.

[B]

That's good.

[E]

That's.

[B]

Did you ch. Oh, I like the whole 80s. Did you choose the background?

[E]

Yeah, I chose everything.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

I was super hands on with it.

[B]

Yeah, it's dope. It is.

[E]

How did you just. Your set design. You showed me at the store. Really sick.

[D]

It was so cool.

[E]

You guys are both at the taping.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

How'd it go?

[D]

It was awesome. He killed it.

[E]

Did you show your balls?

[B]

No.

[A]

Anything?

[E]

What?

[B]

I didn't do anything.

[A]

Is that crazy?

[D]

There was a little pube shot at the end. Last one.

[E]

That's where the credits are.

[B]

I did one pube shot at the final shot. Yeah. Just for funsies.

[E]

That's got to be the hook.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

That should be the thumbnail.

[C]

I genuinely believe that's true. Yeah.

[B]

No, because for. For many years people were like, you know, oh, you get naked, you Know, you do all these weird things and I wanted to show that I don't have to do those things. I just do it for funsies.

[E]

I think that's beautiful. Yeah, but. But let them see a little Cock and Ball. Especially now it's on Disney Channel with Hulu. They're like, we have one note. No penis, please.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. They had no notes too, which is weird.

[C]

Really? Nothing.

[E]

It's already. The edit's already done or they were there?

[B]

No, but they were all there and they're. And I. I asked, you know, is there any notes? And they're like, they don't have any.

[E]

Yeah, the word. The next Marvel movie.

[B]

Which makes me feel like they're going to go, oh, we're not airing them. No, no, whatever, whatever. Away we up. Give you a deal. But yeah, yeah, we're not airing this.

[E]

What's the name? Have you said the name yet?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I think you said it here. I might. I might change it.

[A]

What's the working title though?

[B]

Finally.

[D]

Finally.

[E]

Yeah, that's great.

[A]

Oh, finally.

[E]

Oh, spelled L E. E. Is it L E? No.

[D]

Oh, right.

[E]

I feel like that's good. SEO. Good search engine. You should do Finally.

[B]

Finally.

[C]

I'm a no on that one.

[B]

I'm gonna know the name is a little tough.

[C]

It's a tough one.

[B]

Blue Chew Chew. Blue Chew for you. Blue Chew. Fellas, you already know what time it is. What time is it, Blue? I mean, you. It's time, Ramsay.

[C]

It's time to chew.

[B]

Yeah, it's time to level up too. And Bluechew just dropped something crazy. I'm talking next level championship belt. Gold plated energy, dude. Okay. Blue Chew Gold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable Ed brand. Whoa. I'm telling you right now, guys, I use this stuff.

[C]

It's the best.

[B]

And I. You don't need to use it. Yeah, but sometimes you want to give me high five. Sometimes you have to. Sometimes you have to. But the reception has been 100% like rotten tomatoes. Oh, yeah, it's been great. You know, and this ain't your grandpa's little blue pill. This is a four in one beast that's setting the gold standard for performance.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

We're talking two ingredients for blood flow to keep that rocket pumping. Mixed with amorphophone and oxytocin. Oxytocin, that's the love hormone. Exactly. To turn up the arousal and connection in your brain and body.

[C]

Bluechew Gold dissolves under your tongue and works in as little as 15 minutes. That means you can get it on quicker and stay in the game longer. Elevation without hesitation.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

Make life easier by getting harder. And discover your [e-mail] and we've got a special deal for our listeners. Get 10% off your first month of Bluechew gold with Code Belly. That's promo code belly. Visit bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast.

[C]

Thank you, Bluechew.

[B]

The game is almost here, baby. And there's no better way to cash in during America's biggest sporting event than prize picks, where it always feels good to be right. And since the big game is right around the corner, that also means it's your last chance to get into the football action before the next season.

[C]

So close out the season, right, with prize picks by getting $50 instantly in when you play your first $5.

[A]

Wow. Are you copying Bobby's lineup, Ramsey?

[C]

I got a couple guys I follow, but Bobby's one of them.

[B]

Well, my lineup has the jets in it, and I don't think they're in the super bowl, so I don't think you should. But anyway, find your community on prize picks. Right? You need community, right, Ramsey?

[C]

It's a very important point.

[B]

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[E]

All right, so the big game is coming up. Do we like Drake May for more or less than 220.5?

[B]

What about Drake?

[C]

I go less.

[B]

I go more.

[C]

Dude, it's a big game.

[B]

Oh, I'm going more for Bobby. Okay, let's go.

[E]

Sam Darnold.

[B]

More or less than 1.5 passing touchdowns.

[C]

I go more.

[B]

I go less. Come on. Okay, Finalize the lineup. It's that simple. Yeah.

[A]

Download the press.

[B]

Do one more. Okay. Do we like Kenneth Walker for more?

[E]

Less than 0.5 rush or reception touchdowns.

[C]

Oh, I think. I think it's going to be more because that's a lot. That's a very. That's very few yards.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I think last. He's gonna have a bad day. He has an ankle vibrations.

[C]

Are you.

[B]

He has like, ankle vibrations, and I don't think that's good for the Super Bowl.

[C]

Ankle vibrations.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Finalizing it right now. That easy.

[A]

Download the Price Picks app today and use our code belly to get 50 in lineups. After you play your first $5 lineup. That's code belly. To get 50 in lineups. After YOU play your first $5 lineup. Price picks. It's good to be right.

[C]

It's a tough one.

[E]

Did you ever have comedy merch coming up that was like the pun or like quirky? Like, like. It's like you flip the shirt up and there's a punchline. I thought it was popular early on with road dogs. Did you ever have that?

[B]

No, I never.

[E]

You were just always.

[B]

I never did murder.

[E]

Wow.

[B]

Never sold merch on my life. In my life.

[E]

Not even a pube.

[B]

But you've had. No. Oh, that's a good one.

[E]

Single Bobby Lee pube.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

That would go for a lot of money, you know.

[B]

DNA.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I'm scared of that.

[D]

Me too.

[B]

Because I do glove glue thumbs. What?

[E]

Yeah. What is this?

[B]

Glue thumbs.

[E]

What is this?

[B]

See that wall?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Feel the glue. Yeah. Well, I'm obsessed with glue.

[E]

Oh. I think.

[B]

And I used to make glue thumbs up.

[D]

So you put glue in, then you peel it off.

[B]

Yeah. But you have to do like 20.

[D]

Layers in order for it to get.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

So thank God you found Lexapro.

[B]

Yeah. You're doing glue it, right. And draw on it. And I used to. I thought to myself, should I sell this as merch? But I don't want a murder to happen and have them put my thumbprints all over the house. You know what I mean? So it's like you still do it or.

[C]

No.

[B]

Cubes. I made a complete glue hand maybe a month ago on the road. I mean, Pittsburgh.

[E]

Oh.

[D]

What inspired you to. To get into glue?

[E]

Depression?

[B]

No. Ed Gein.

[E]

It's got to be a middle school.

[B]

What is this?

[A]

That's you putting glue while driving.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

And you just do that?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I used to put glue and then.

[E]

It'S like somebody's filming their Uber driver.

[C]

Truly.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

And he's got a doordash order.

[B]

How long ago was this?

[A]

This is our 11th vlog, so this means it was probably nine years ago.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

Is it like a texture thing for you?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, wow. Yeah. You know what I also used to do? I used to take by brand new. This is back in that time. Brand new conferences. And I used to time the back of my car like.

[E]

You just got married.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would drive it from Phoenix to la, dragging on the freeway so they get weathered.

[E]

Oh, and then you'd wear them.

[B]

Then I would wear them, yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[E]

I did that in middle school. I wanted to be a skateboarder so bad. And they all had the. Did you guys skate growing up? Yeah, they all had, like, the tear right here from doing kick flips, and I couldn't kick flip, so one night I just grinded on the skateboard.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And then, like, one day they're brand new, the next day they're just torn up and they're like, oh, you must have skated hard last night. Got pretty crazy on that grip tape. But, yeah, I was such a poser, man. I just wanted to fit in.

[B]

Yeah. I just. I've done a lot of posy stuff. Well, it's. It's like also bike, so, you know, I. I wear Japanese raw denim. I don't know if I cut it. No. But political. But I'm gonna say it the end down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Christine Gnome. You know, I mean, really, like. No. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

We call them freedom jeans now.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I liked it, George.

[A]

Bobby was ready to go in.

[B]

Explain it. Explain it.

[D]

It's like Freedom Fries, but for jeans.

[B]

Yeah, but explain why it's funny.

[C]

You don't have to, George.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. So.

[E]

But you like the shoes now.

[B]

But what I would. I would do is I would. I go to apc.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

What is that?

[B]

It's. It's a clothing Pacific Islander. Oh. And they have raw denim. They. They rent them out so they'll get brand new raw denim, have people wear them for years, and then they buy them back and they resell them.

[E]

It's like a surrogate.

[B]

Yeah, it's a surrogate. Yeah. And I. I buy them and they're.

[D]

More expensive after they've been worn.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

How does that work? They're more expensive after.

[B]

Yeah. Because they're perfectly distressed. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[D]

So who has.

[B]

You look up apc Pre Warn sold at the store.

[E]

That's like that experiment in middle school when they're like, you have to watch this egg for, like, a week and return it. Like, somebody has to take care of these jeans to the perfect level. Then return it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Explain the e. Explain the egg. So I never went to biology. Biologist.

[E]

Chicken. But they'd make you. I don't think they. Did they ever do this with placebo Facts.

[B]

Can I say something? I know what an egg looks like, so stop doing this. Okay. I know what an egg looks like. Yeah. Thank you.

[E]

So we're loose. But I feel like maybe that was just a placebo effect or like it never really happened. But I think in middle school, you'd have to watch an egg for a week to show that you'd be a good parent, which is not a good. Is this real?

[A]

I think you're right.

[D]

We had to drop an egg off of like the third balcony to see if it would crack. Like we'd have to wrap it up and then it would.

[B]

You look. Work for the Ford Motor Company.

[D]

No, it's just.

[B]

You know how they used to do that with skulls and stuff to test like seat belts and stuff? Like how to.

[D]

Anyway, that's what we did.

[B]

Yeah, that was. That was a bad one, too.

[C]

Explain.

[D]

No, because it's.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Damn.

[B]

God damn.

[E]

Damn.

[B]

Yeah, we're all failing, huh? Yeah. We all think Splinter. Yeah, I don't want to explain. You're right. I dropped the ball on that one. It was a reference.

[E]

I was thinking. I'm glad you said it. I was thinking it.

[B]

Yeah, you were. Yeah, but you didn't say it. You know why? It wasn't that funny. But she threw it out there. Explain it. Are we.

[E]

Explain it. You slept with a girl in Jacksonville.

[B]

Explain it. Yeah, yeah. Can I tell you something that happened the other day at the Comedy Store? Please. That was. I want to see what the correct reaction would be.

[E]

Good, good, good.

[B]

And I want to see if this person was out of pocket because I don't think they were. You know what I mean? But I didn't know how to react. So I was at the Comedy Store and like, you don't know Cat Bird, Right? I mean, you've seen her around, but you really never talked to her. There's several people like that at the Comedy Store where I. I'm nice to them. I just never. I don't know their real names necessarily.

[A]

And you have fake names for them.

[C]

He does have fake names.

[B]

Yeah, I do. So, yeah. Sometimes. Yeah. If I give. What? Give me some of the names.

[C]

There was no Neck.

[B]

Who's no Neck?

[C]

I'll tell you after. I'll tell you.

[E]

Cuz he doesn't know that he's called no Neck.

[C]

He doesn't know he's called. There's Minion.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Aren't they the same people?

[E]

This would be a fun game to see if I can guess who.

[B]

No can begin or not. To the same people. Yeah. What else? I was holes for a while.

[E]

Holes?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Come your nose.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Joey is Muppet.

[C]

Muppet.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if I don't know somebody's name, I'll just throw out a nickname. I'll just call them that. Like Rick Ingram. For years I didn't know his name. So I used to call him White Lightning.

[D]

Oh, that's great.

[E]

Honestly, even better than Rick Ingram.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Like a downgrade to go to your actual name.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. At the Comedy Store the other day, there was a doorman that walked up to me. I don't know his name. I've seen him around, just don't know anything about him. He goes, hey, can I talk to you, Bobby? And I go, sure. I thought he was gonna. You know when a young comic wants to talk to you, what do you think it's about?

[E]

Comedy.

[B]

It's about comedy. Or can I open for. Can I open for you? Or like, I need some advice.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And he goes, hey, if this guy goes, hey, if you want to know about Jesus Christ, we should get together and we should talk. Excuse me.

[E]

Yeah, but like, this was at the store.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

This gives, like, flappers energy.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Burbank Ice House Comedy Chateau.

[B]

Haha. Haha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's Jesus at the hall. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. And I go, excuse me. And he goes, yeah, but you know, because I heard you on a podcast talking to a Christian, and he's like, if you want to ever get together and talk about it, you know, I'd love to do that. And I go, thanks, dude. See you later. Yeah. And we kind of walked away from each other and.

[A]

Is he new there?

[C]

No, no.

[B]

Oh, I've been there a while, you guys. Super nice.

[C]

Yeah. By the way, an Earnest. He's being really earnest.

[B]

He's being earnest.

[C]

He's not joking at all.

[B]

He's not joking.

[C]

Deeply Christian young man.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Can we say the name and bleep it?

[B]

No.

[C]

I don't even think.

[B]

You don't know.

[E]

There's no way.

[B]

There's no way. You know, removed from.

[D]

Can I ask you a question? Were you coming from, like, a set? Where were you in a good headspace when he.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I killed.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

That's the worst time to talk about Christ.

[C]

I'll accept it.

[E]

Talk to me after I bomb.

[B]

Kyrie goes wrong.

[E]

It's like being coked down. Like you want to sober up. You're like, I want to keep this train going, dude.

[B]

The. Yeah, yeah. So I'm in a good mood. Killed.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And also, like, you know, I'm on a new medication. I feel. I. I feel you not ruminating. Right.

[D]

You're the best.

[B]

And when he brought it up, I got trapped in my mind, you know what I mean? And there was so many different things that were going on and.

[E]

Did you try to get him fired.

[D]

I bet the thought crossed your mind.

[B]

It did.

[E]

It did.

[B]

It. Did I need to. Yeah.

[E]

I see a photo of this.

[B]

Because I'll. I'll tell you why. I'm going to tell you why. Okay. Is the younger generation now, they don't know rules.

[A]

Too confident.

[B]

You feel like way too confident. And it's like when I was a.

[C]

Doorman, just showing him a photo so he can really absorb.

[B]

Have you seen him before?

[E]

I think so.

[D]

Around as much because he's a student.

[B]

I think, like, if I would have said hi to, like, Martin Lawrence in the 90s or Chris Rock, I would have got fired.

[A]

Is that really how it was?

[C]

I still.

[B]

No, but it was like, I don't. I don't think that it would. I think when it completely ignored me.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean? Like, hey, you know, I mean.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Joe Rogan.

[E]

Did he have to park your car? Do you think he's putting like a rosary everywhere?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Then also. Do I see. Am I evil? That's another thing that you go. I buy the. Because he doesn't do that. He would never do that with Sebastian.

[D]

He might, though.

[B]

There's no way.

[D]

You don't think so.

[A]

Sebastian get married in the largest Catholic church.

[D]

Yeah. He's done.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

You're approachable to. To somebody who wants to convert you.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

To a religion. But I also have a vulnerability.

[E]

You're convertible.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I'm not convertible. I did think I'm open, though. Okay.

[C]

Yeah, I think five convertible. With my uncle, you think about Islam.

[B]

Five minutes.

[C]

Five minutes.

[B]

All right. I think 10, but five.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

10 minutes.

[B]

I'm in 10 minutes. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

You didn't say anything. You just left.

[B]

No, I go, thank you. I didn't know what to say. I was.

[A]

That was shot. That was nice. You weren't mean.

[B]

I was in shock. No, I go, Thanks. I didn't know it was this a guy. Thank you so much. Guy. You know what I mean? And I walked away and he was the first guy called.

[C]

Do you avoid him now or have you seen him? Have you.

[B]

I haven't seen him since.

[C]

Will you be avoiding him?

[D]

Yeah. How about if he comes, I want.

[C]

To know how you're going to follow up with this. This. Because this is pretty.

[E]

This is.

[D]

I think he'll be nice. I think he'll pretend like nothing happened.

[B]

Well, I know his name now.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So now I'll go. Hey.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Oh, we spent this whole time trying. If you didn't know his name, what.

[E]

Would you call him what nickname?

[C]

I wanted to know in the beginning. What was his nickname before?

[B]

I see. That's another thing.

[D]

I think it's probably he wasn't even.

[B]

In the realm of nickname. Wow. Yeah. I mean he was NPC for sure.

[E]

It's like, it's like saying non playable.

[B]

Christian, say hello to the.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Yeah, he was a non playable Christian.

[C]

He. That's tough.

[E]

But funny. He's funny.

[C]

He's a funny guy.

[E]

Very funny.

[B]

Very funny. I looked him up online. Yeah. You know what I mean? And he's got potential.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But, but there is a part of me that was founded offensive.

[D]

I don't think it's.

[B]

He, he never even said hello. Yeah.

[E]

As a first conversation, it's a little.

[B]

To open with that to me was God, God people.

[E]

And listen, I, I love God and Jesus and, and all that. But they're, they're, they'll stand out front of crypto.com with a megaphone. Like they're not asking for like, hey, what's your name? Where you from? Have you heard about our Lord and savior? They're just in it.

[D]

They don't have any like social regulation. They're just like here, let's talk about Jesus.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I want to know Kat and Ramsay as. Has he approached you to try to convert you guys?

[D]

No.

[C]

He knows I'm steadfast in Islam. I would never.

[B]

But he's never come up to you?

[D]

He's never.

[B]

No.

[D]

Which is actually really offensive.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't want to save your soul.

[D]

What the heck.

[B]

Yeah. I'm going to give you an example of why it's weird. Okay. So many, many years ago when I was living in San Diego, I had met the Shores. Okay.

[A]

And.

[B]

I was also heavily in aaa. Right. And I, Mitzi said something. I forgot what she said, but it really hurt my feelings. Yeah. And I went to my sponsor, my a sponsor. And I go, no, granted, I'm a doorman in La Jolla. At that time I had probably had one conversation with her. You mean I just gotten passed. She was super intimidating. And I was just relaying this to my. That it hurt my feelings to my sponsor. My sponsor. You know what you need to do then? Because this is what we do for as an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous is sit down with her and say that you have a resentment. You know, I mean, and that really hurt your feelings. You know what I mean? And I looked at it. I'm like the same rooms rules don't apply to show business. You can do that at Home Depot or any other place. You know what I mean? But that does not apply to go to Mitzi Shore and to do that. That just. There's just no way. Yeah. So I never did that. I think the same rule applies to this situation.

[C]

He shouldn't come up to you.

[B]

I don't think so.

[C]

You're Mitzi in this situation. I'm just.

[B]

Hold. Hold.

[C]

Piecing this together.

[B]

No, I think the rules have changed, and maybe it's different now, but I'm just saying at that time, would you.

[A]

Say that you're also more accessible than most?

[C]

That's what I want to say.

[A]

You're so friendly with everyone.

[C]

Bobby's very nice to. To the I.

[E]

Friendly is the word.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. Available.

[E]

You smoke more cigarettes than most. Thus you're on the patio. That's approachable.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah. You're a most available.

[B]

I'm available.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the friendly.

[E]

Because I. I've known about you for. For my whole career, but would see you and I didn't approach you until I heard you say something nice about me on this podcast or Bad friends. But up until then, I just head. Not move on.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

As like a sign of respect.

[B]

But that's. That's is. But that's. That's. That's how I'm like with other people. Like, I didn't talk to Spade until he talked to me.

[E]

Yeah. And you had to put a wig on and wear a bra.

[A]

You doubtfired that.

[B]

I doubt fired it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. You're quick today. Very good. You don't have to explain that. I get it. Doubtfire.

[C]

Don't explain.

[B]

Don't explain.

[E]

Is there anybody you would take that advice from? Like, if Santino said, like, hey, seek God, would you? Or you think it's a bit.

[B]

That's another thing. Right. In my mind, I was like, who else who could do it? And I think God knows that the only way that I could get converted is if it was like DiCaprio. That's hilarious. If he used a different church. But you know what I mean? It's got to be like Barack Obama.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

League of Obama came up to me. Hey, you know what I mean?

[D]

Like 2010 celebrities kind of thing.

[C]

No, you just need the credit.

[B]

Credits. It's got to be something that's like.

[E]

Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson.

[B]

Let's go to the list.

[C]

The lowest celebrity that could get you is now what I'm interested.

[D]

Quintessential Quentin Tarantino.

[A]

Quinto.

[B]

Maybe I'm shallow. Do you think I'm shallow?

[C]

I think that's what.

[E]

No, but it feels like an attack. It feels personable. Cuz it's not even about the religion at that point. It's like he looked at me and saw that I needed help in some regard. So now it's about you versus the religion in my perspective.

[B]

No. The reason why he did it, it wasn't because that he said. Mentioned. Well, I heard you on George Janko's podcast and.

[E]

George podcast what? Isn't that a God?

[B]

So that's why he got. I heard you on that. So if you ever want to talk about Jesus. You mean let's get together is kind of a thing?

[D]

This all feels very friendly now it's starting.

[A]

The more you keep explaining, it feels.

[D]

Like very genuine that he's just like.

[B]

No, you guys aren't understanding what I'm.

[A]

Stop giving more details. Keep it more.

[B]

What I'm saying is. What I'm saying is, if I'm working in an Apple Store, right? If I work at an Apple Store like this, right? And I was a Christian, and when Steve Jobs was alive, he just happened to like. Like visiting the store.

[D]

Are you Steve Jobs in this situation?

[C]

So you've been missing Shore, Steve. You're Steve Jobs.

[B]

Extreme example. Right. But I don't think an employee would walk up to Steve Jobs and goes, hey, you know what I mean? Do you want to talk about Jesus?

[C]

Yeah, for sure they wouldn't.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

You might walk up to Bobby Lee, though.

[C]

Yeah. Maybe their manager.

[B]

All right, so what you're saying is that I have no power.

[C]

I'd say he's an employee.

[E]

That's not true.

[C]

He's an employee and you're at the Genius Bar. It's not. You know, that's the bad.

[E]

You're a shift leader at Apple. But like, Palo Alto. Palo Alto. Like where it all started. Palo Alto. Palo Alto, Bobby.

[A]

Oh, headquarters.

[C]

Headquarters.

[E]

That's like you being like, I'm Martin Luther King Jr. We're already.

[B]

Okay, all right. So. So in that situation. Jesus Christ. Okay.

[E]

I'm pinned to the cross, and you're.

[B]

Going to come up to me, tell me about myself. Okay. Okay. I think you're right. I think you're right. Maybe you're right. You were gonna say something, George.

[E]

No.

[B]

Yeah, you were. Got your hand up. Oh, a long time ago. Okay.

[E]

I do think it is weird that he approached you if that's the first thing he ever said to you. But I do think he was trying to help because he heard you on A podcast.

[B]

He's trying to help. Know what to do, what to do.

[E]

What did you say on George Janko's podcast? And maybe spark.

[A]

I have not.

[D]

I want to find Jesus. Someone help me.

[C]

I hate podcast.

[E]

Some younger voice from the comedy scene, please seek out to me.

[B]

Yeah, but I also thought this is that if I do die, I'm in, like, judgment, right? And they go, you're going to hell. And I go, why? Well, we sent people down, and my mind is, oh, that was my way.

[C]

Cause he would be the guy. He's a pure soul, this guy.

[B]

Yeah, but I think God would do. Yeah, there's no way.

[D]

You think God's coming down as Leonardo DiCaprio.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

But if you really wanna get to Bobby, it's not through a comedian. You gotta send, like, some riot chicken, like, big rack that's like, have you heard about the Lord? And you're like, go on.

[B]

Yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

Like, if God were to send somebody down to you.

[B]

Right.

[E]

Be through the forum, you would think.

[B]

That God would send a messenger that I would listen to Sydney Sweeney. Exactly.

[E]

This person, he's like, I tried in Jacksonville. It didn't work.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Did you date a lady who went to church?

[B]

What? I did. I did.

[A]

I dated a worship leader.

[B]

I did a horse. No, it was a horseship.

[E]

It was a horse girl.

[D]

Yeah, it's weird that we're just saying people can convert you based on their IMDBs, like. Or, like, how popular they are.

[B]

No, but what I'm saying is, is that if it was, like, you know, Mike Tyson probably could confirm me.

[C]

Oh, 100%.

[B]

Another 100%. Give me. Give me some names, and I'll tell.

[E]

You who we have to find.

[C]

The.

[A]

What? Trevor Wallace.

[D]

Trevor Wallace.

[E]

I'm Jewish. Welcome aboard. We're not here.

[B]

No, but what I would. I would be. I would have a conversation with him, though, you know?

[D]

I mean.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he. If he really tried to convert me. Trevor. You did.

[E]

But you would listen.

[B]

I would listen. Right. So what I'm saying is, give me some names. I'll tell you if I would or.

[C]

Not where it stops.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Jake Johnson.

[B]

New girl Jake. Yes.

[E]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Annie Letterman.

[B]

Nope.

[C]

Josh Peck.

[B]

There we go. Yeah.

[C]

You see, this is. This is where I'm interested in the line. Where's the line? Where we go. No, I'm not listening to that guy.

[A]

You love him, man.

[B]

I do love. I. Maybe I would.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, maybe I would.

[E]

Gypsy Rose.

[B]

What?

[E]

Gypsy Rose.

[B]

Nope. One. There's no way.

[D]

No Craig Robinson.

[E]

You have to. He's on the office.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you see those stats? I don't know if he likes me.

[E]

Why do you say this?

[C]

So it's only people that like you and have credits.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I can't imagine him doing it.

[E]

A dream person who you kind of hope speaks to you about this.

[B]

Oh, cool. Yeah. I mean, if it was like, Dr. Dre. Yes. Anyone from NWA anyone from NWA ice cube? Any of those guys?

[A]

Candace Owens.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, Candace Owens, for sure.

[D]

How about Puff Puff Daddy?

[B]

No.

[E]

Erica Kirk?

[B]

No. No.

[D]

Jay Z.

[C]

You have to listen. He's got the fireworks and everything. You got to listen.

[B]

Dr. Dre, that's. Yeah. He has to do it. Easy E. His ghost.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Spirit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It just depends. How about you? Who could convert me from Judaism to Christianity?

[E]

What's funny is when my dad proposed my mom, he was Christian. And when he proposed William, my mom, before saying yes, said, said, will he convert to Judaism for me? And he said, yeah. But before saying yes to the ring, she asked that.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

But, like, what a pressure moment. Back out.

[C]

I've already got the.

[E]

Signing the lease before it dries. Like, hey, yeah. That is real love, though, for.

[B]

For your girlfriend. Would you.

[C]

No, absolutely not.

[D]

Would you what?

[C]

Convert. Convert.

[B]

So you don't love her?

[C]

No, I'm just not gonna. I'm not.

[B]

That's.

[A]

What.

[B]

That's what he did was real. His parents. Real love.

[C]

My girlfriend is Jewish as well.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Converting to Judaism is so much work. It's not.

[E]

It's to the full government. I'm in it, and I don't even know. Is it hard?

[C]

Daddy, you gotta go.

[B]

Are you sure?

[E]

It's a Dunkin Water or something.

[C]

Trust me, if anybody.

[B]

This is what I would say. Do I have to study?

[C]

Yeah, you do this.

[B]

No, but they said no.

[A]

Sign of the dotted line.

[B]

I want to say I'm not studying. I'm not reading any of the books. Right. I'll do it just to do it.

[D]

What. What would you do then?

[E]

Just.

[D]

Just sign up kind of.

[B]

No, I would just convert.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

What does it matter?

[E]

I just don't even know how it works, honestly.

[B]

I'm not doing anywhere. Yeah, I mean, it's really, like. What do they read, the Quran?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Torah.

[D]

Torah.

[B]

Is that yours?

[C]

I'm the Korean.

[B]

Yeah, you're correct. You're Torah, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I won't read any of them.

[C]

Oh, now that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Now you're just being hurtful.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I would read, like, a note from that wall. Zoc doc, you know. Oh, oh, my ankle hurts.

[C]

Oh, yeah, big time. That's a big problem for you.

[B]

What do I do?

[C]

I guess you could try to go to a doctor, but that might take forever. It'd be so expensive.

[B]

Then what would I do?

[C]

I think you got. You got to go to zocda.

[B]

Exactly. Because why wouldn't you do that? You do that with everything else, right? Of course. You read reviews on what restaurant? You don't go blindly to a restaurant. You probably do.

[E]

No, no, no.

[B]

Yeah, if it says halal guys, you'll go. But. Yeah, but, but most of us, you know, I mean, yeah, we read reviews. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I do that with my health as well.

[C]

You gotta.

[B]

And don't go. Stop going to the halal gods of your heart and your body. Okay. ZocDoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love. We're talking about booking in network appointments with more than 150,000 providers across all 50 states.

[C]

Whether you're looking for a dermatology, dentistry, primary care, eye care, or one of the 200 plus specialties offered on Zocdoc, you can easily search by specialty or symptom to build the care team that's right for you.

[B]

I really did use this. I, you know, I had a skin problem.

[C]

I swear to God. I use this too.

[B]

You really. And you went to Sock Doc. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they found a great dermatologist for me and it really worked out. It was so easy too. And I read the reviews and now this guy's my guy for life.

[C]

Oh, it's convenient.

[B]

It's convenient. Yeah.

[C]

Pick the time.

[B]

Yeah, you did. You did one for your nose, not my nose.

[A]

Okay, stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to Zocdoc.com belly to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's Zocdoc.combelly Zocdoc.combelly Thanks, Zocdoc for sponsoring this message.

[C]

Yeah, now you're just being hurtful.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I would read like a note from that wall.

[E]

Okay, wait, I don't know the name, but I know there's a wall.

[B]

I went to that wall.

[E]

What the hell were you doing there?

[A]

Jerusalem, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Show up the photo. Yeah.

[E]

What you.

[B]

I went to the wall and I stuck a note in there.

[E]

The Great Wall China. What were you doing in.

[B]

Yeah, it was incredible. What were you doing in Israel? And there's so much wall to do it, so it's great. A lot of wall.

[E]

There's a lot. What were you doing in Israel? Doing a funny bone out there? What is going on here?

[B]

So I went, that's the wall.

[E]

And you have these photos pulled up so quickly.

[B]

This is. Yeah, I went and I did a little note and I stuck it in the wall.

[E]

Do you remember what you wrote?

[B]

It was about pussy.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Yeah. Hey, God, can you get me more pussy? I don't know what it was. Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was about a girl. Like, can you get Sabrina to like me?

[A]

Or whatever.

[B]

It was like something.

[E]

I bet a majority of those notes are there. Oh, was it a.

[B]

Was that me? Greenberg and Burn.

[E]

Do you do some for the idf?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, wait, what's that shirt that I wear?

[A]

Bob Dong Bob and Doug.

[E]

Doug McKinney McKenzie.

[B]

Oh, yeah, from Bruce Brewsters. What's that movie?

[E]

You went out there to perform for the troops or no. Or you were just on Birthright?

[B]

Oh, that was. Oh, that was us.

[A]

Jamie Chung.

[B]

It was, yeah. Jamie Chung was.

[A]

Wait, is that who I think that is?

[C]

It was just a free trip from Israel.

[E]

Did you see Epstein in the back?

[B]

What it was was they used to bring groups of celebrities out there free. And you get to, you know, the first class, five star hotels, pretty. All the meals paid for. They give you big tours of everything, but everything you have to tweet positive things about Israel. And it was.

[D]

Did you know that before going?

[B]

Not really.

[D]

Oh, so you're in Israel and then you're like, wait, what do I have to tweet?

[B]

It was hard to tweet because I did the first tweet and it was bad.

[E]

It was in German.

[D]

What was the tweet?

[B]

It was. What? Oh, this is beautiful out here. Thank you for the, you know, like hummus and stuff.

[E]

What?

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Is that BB is great.

[C]

Nothing weird going on here.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, stuff like that.

[C]

Everybody seems happy.

[B]

Yeah. And then the comments were, oh, my.

[C]

God, it's a hornet's nest. You don't need to rattle.

[B]

It's a hornet's nest. I don't rattle. Like you said. Yeah, it's a hornet.

[E]

Yeah. Let's talk about Groundhogs day, huh? H. Tawny. Phil, you think he gets.

[B]

You don't do politics in your act.

[E]

No.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You don't talk about politics in podcasting either. Right. You and Michael still do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a great guy.

[E]

Great guy. Really. Moving tickets. Very funny man.

[B]

He's so funny, that guy.

[E]

So.

[B]

He really is.

[E]

His energy's yeah. Electric.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's hard to get two guys at the same level almost in terms of talent.

[D]

You guys meet a lot of porn stars, don't you?

[E]

We stopped doing that a while ago. It just got weird when you're, like, at an airport and some drunk guys like, what does Bonnie Blue smell like?

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Latex.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, we had Bunny Bl. Blue. We.

[E]

Yeah, so we had Lily Phillips and Bonnie Blue on, and Lily was super funny and, like, good riff. And then Bonnie was kind of just more like. Like, you'd make a joke and she'd be like, no, I. I like getting railed by a thousand guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm playful.

[D]

She wouldn't like. Yes.

[E]

Where was that doorman when she was there? I think after that, we were like, okay, we. We hit the Mount Rushmore of people who do porn.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

We just.

[B]

We.

[E]

We kind of stopped. We just thought it'd be funner just to. To be ourselves or just, like, have other comics and whatnot.

[B]

I mean, I. I mean, I support people that are in the adult entertainment total industry, but would I, like, when I have porn stars, would I date them? I don't think I would.

[D]

Why not?

[E]

Have you never.

[B]

No, I've never have.

[D]

Is that just because you've really.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Explain yourself.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah, I haven't.

[E]

But you've never hooked up with one.

[B]

No. Yes.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jacksonville for sure.

[B]

Yes, I have.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

But more only fan. Fan people.

[E]

But where does the line blur? Because you go to OnlyFans and they're doing the same, just different website. They're showing butthole and everything.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Usually you're like, oh, it's probably just lingerie. You go to one Reddit thread, you're like, why is there a lava lamp in there?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. But some only fans only show. They don't show sexual, but it gets there. You think once you do, like, I'm only going to do nudes, you think eventually one does.

[E]

I literally think it's a gateway drug to porn.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Once you start, though, even all the comics that are doing, like, of tv, I'm like, they're showing soon.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Like, one dark joke turns into anal pretty quick.

[E]

Exactly. I. I just think it is slippery. It starts with, like, lingre, then people get bored of lingre, then. All right, fine. One nip.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, if I could get views on only fans using my butthole. And it was. I was making Bonnie Blue money or these kind of people's money.

[E]

They're making so much Money.

[B]

And I would probably do it. Me and Ramsay would do sexual things.

[C]

I would do it 100.

[B]

If we. Okay. If.

[E]

Which hole? I've known this guy for like a decade plus. Great guy.

[B]

Cat, bro. Yeah. That was really quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I think we're out of this bit.

[B]

Yeah. No, it's not. I want you to think about which hole in the nose. Probably the one that's like 90th. 90th out, you know, I mean. Yeah. 2000 to the right.

[C]

Send me the coordinates later.

[B]

I should record it. That would have been fun. Yeah.

[E]

Edit it in.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. That would have matters like 2000. That was not good. Why am I. So I'm analyzing everything today, right? Yeah, but would you like it? So how about this? This us four, right. If we all made $250,000 a month, right. And we all four. And we had a quick comedy and we. We just all four had to have sex with each other, would you do it?

[A]

Cat's face almost died.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah, I might.

[D]

Wait, I'm just confused on, like, what the mission statement there was. So we just quit comedy and we have to.

[B]

How about you? You're not involved. You're just directing. But you have to quit comedy. You have to direct these things full time. But it's us three. I don't think you would do it with. Based on your face.

[C]

But yeah, yeah, I. I might go down even to 10k. I'll do reverse on the negotiation.

[B]

But that's because right now you're not there yet. What I'm saying.

[E]

Christ in your life.

[C]

Let's get here.

[B]

But what I'm saying is, is that you. In two or three years, you're gonna be making great money.

[D]

That's awesome.

[B]

Because you were once at his level. No.

[E]

Yeah. I mean, I've known Ramsey for, like.

[B]

He'S a talented guy. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

This is.

[C]

This is getting weird. I don't know why.

[B]

I think for both of you, I think that you guys are a couple years away from making pretty good money in the business.

[E]

I think went from really good to pretty good.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Kind of an average like two to three years.

[E]

You'll be getting, you know, bare minimum.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But you'll be making the $10,000 a month. Month.

[D]

So why do so. So we have to have sex with each other now?

[B]

No, I'm just saying. No, I'm just. Forget that. Okay. Let's move on from that. Okay. Now I'm going to do more of a positive thing. Okay, There we go.

[D]

That's Alexa Proton.

[B]

I want it's, I like it. Okay, all three of you are zinging today. Some failures, but I think we're all in the pocket. What do you think?

[E]

Doing great. Batting average.

[B]

It's a battering average.

[E]

Either strike out or you get a grand slam.

[B]

I just throw it out there, there.

[E]

Absolutely. Volume shooter, as they say.

[B]

It's a volume shooter.

[E]

Volume shooter.

[B]

You edit out, but when you hit, you hit. Yeah. You've had some good singers today.

[E]

Thanks, Bobby. No, I'm, I'm being genuine. I, I, I'm genuine. I, I love doing this show.

[B]

Yeah. But you two don't do worry. I think. What do you think?

[E]

Yeah, I agree.

[B]

Trevor and I hesitating on.

[E]

I've never seen cad go up, but I've heard great things. And you just had a Dontell special.

[B]

Plug it.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

I have a don't tell special.

[B]

Out.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Bleep that out.

[D]

But I heard you on YouTube.

[E]

But yeah, I haven't seen you go. But I, I'm, I hear great things.

[B]

Thank you.

[D]

That's really nice.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And now Ramsey.

[A]

How long have you known Ramsey?

[E]

Oh, through open mics in like the west side old school days for like 20.

[B]

Were you guys friends in the open mic?

[A]

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[B]

Times or no, we were definitely not.

[C]

I wouldn't say we're not. We were not friends, we weren't enemies. But I remember doing it hosting an open mic and I drew Trevor last in the west side and I literally just. The only person in the audience was me. So I just went and sat in the audience of the west side commentator.

[A]

To watch you do three minutes.

[E]

Those 1am bucket pools.

[C]

Yes, dude.

[E]

Because the west side, they pull 25 names out at first so you're so excited and then throughout the night night you realize that you could be that last spot. It's almost worse than if you got. Didn't get pulled.

[D]

That was my first ever open mic was being the last slot at the west side comedy ever.

[B]

Well, why do you stay?

[D]

Because you're, you don't know.

[C]

So you pull the, you pull 25 names.

[B]

Yeah, but by the, the second to the last guy, you know.

[A]

But you would leave, right?

[B]

Yeah, I would leave.

[C]

Well, you've waited so long. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

I left. When? The other night where I was, I saw Sebastian go up and then Ally was. But then I saw that Sebastian had a 30 minute spot and I just went home. Home. Yeah, I think I would leave in that situation, the west side situation.

[D]

I had to stay.

[E]

Yeah, well, they don't tell you when you're going to be out of the 25. So like 50 people sign up then they pull 25 up top. So there's hope in that. 25 you're going up for sure. But you don't know if you're going to be the very last or 1 through 25.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, I see.

[E]

You have hopes because you go up through like 1 through 10. You're like, this is a packed house. Is.

[B]

It's packed.

[A]

Happy birthday to us. Because Confetti Craze five Hour Energy Shots are back, baby. All cake, no sugar. You can have your cake and sip it too. Minus any sugar. Guilt cake. A fire your day with a quick, easy, portable, tasty caffeine boost. The Funfetti flavor is back on 5hourenergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shots today. Strawberry banana five hour energy shots are also delicious. It is one of our favorite flavors. It reminds me of like when you're in the mall during the 90s and you get those little smoothie samples of strawberry banana. It's like that. With a tasty caffeine boost. The Funfetti flavor is back on 5hourenergy.com or Amazon crack open confetti craze five hour energy shot today. Happy birthday to us. It's delicious. Get it. Hey everyone. As you know, Tiger Belly uses and loves Shopify. If you recently purchased our 10 year anniversary merch and you went to our website, slept kingdom.com, just know that was all powered by Shopify. And if, if you're listening to this right now, know that 2026 is the year you launch your very own business with Shopify. 2026 is the year you finally make it happen. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made this leap from household names to first time business owners. Just getting started. And look, if you're really bad at writing copy, guess what? Shopify has built in AI tools that write product description and headlines and help you edit product photos. And you're probably wondering, hey, I don't know how to market, Guess what? Marketing is built in to create email and social campaigns that reach customers wherever they scroll. And as you grow, Shopify grows with you. Handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the same exact dashboard in 2026. Stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com tigerbelly go to shopify.com tigerbelly that's shopify.com tigerbelly hear your first this new year with Shopify by your side.

[B]

Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh wow.

[E]

It was great. It was a great mic.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh wow. It's still going on?

[E]

I think so.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And the booker is there too, so sometimes he helps you get into the club.

[B]

Oh, I see. What's the club? West side. It's on Santa Monica, right? Yeah, I. I didn't and Neil Brennan have a show there. Yeah, I used to do Tuesdays there a lot. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah, it's a great spot.

[B]

I like that spot.

[E]

But yeah, you are sometimes going up. Up. Very last one in the morning.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Just cross armed. Watching Trevor Wallace like this kid is cooked.

[E]

Probably wasn't good, I'll say that. But yeah, I remember there was a. There was an outside mic somewhere in like Marina del Rey. It was like in a shack behind a coffee shop.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[E]

Remember this?

[C]

Venice Grind.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

That's where I heard the. The McChicken antibiotics joke. Is that your joke?

[C]

That's my joke.

[E]

Remember any of my jokes from the night I went up at Westside? I remember all this about you.

[B]

I thought.

[E]

Thought we were tip for tag this.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

I thought. I'm not.

[C]

I'm. I'm a little moved right now, Trevor.

[B]

I'm really.

[E]

Well, you see a lot of people out there and then you start to see the same faces and so many people kind of like fall in and out of it. But like, when you just see the same exact faces, there's a trust in your head where you're like, okay, I. I might not know this person, but I like know that they're dedicated about it.

[B]

Wow. So now because I haven't done open. I mean, I don't want to.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not bragging. I'm just saying I'm old. Yeah. Right. But I used to do it. Like all this stuff reminds me because we used to have a brew house in Westwood that wasn't that kind of thing. Were you there? Like, I remember Barry Sobel being there and just. I feel like this was legend. Right.

[C]

People talk about this.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. But it was like, you know, it was still a mic.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was. You had to wait there for sometimes hours to go up.

[E]

Was there a room that isn't around anymore that you like, miss? It was like the Mecca. I know people talk about Dublin's. The parlor used to be like, great.

[B]

Was that parlor was okay. But Dublin's was the greatest room.

[D]

Where was that?

[B]

You don't know about Dublin.

[E]

And what is it now, like an Alfred coffee?

[B]

I think it's empty.

[E]

I hear places. There was like two places like Jay Davis ran. That's like where Dane Cook grew up.

[B]

Yeah. That's doing. That's Dublin.

[E]

Was it Dublin?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And it was a good room.

[B]

Tuesday night, Dublin's it was. Oh, my God. Can I tell you about this room?

[A]

Is it downtown?

[B]

No, it's right across the street from the Comedy Store. It's between the Comedy Store and the laugh at the little goofy comedy. Yeah.

[E]

What? Like.

[B]

So it was Tuesday nights upstairs, and Dane was sort of the focal point of the show. But you would walk into this packed room and it was. There's Justin Timberlake, Cameron Dia. I mean, everyone was there.

[E]

All people who could convert you.

[B]

Yeah, everyone in there to every religion. But you'd also have every agent and manager. I gave back. I mean, just everybody was there at the open mic. No, it wasn't. It was kind of a book. Drew and you would perform and if you killed, you would walk off stage. I'm not kidding. You and people. You just see business cards from everyone.

[D]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

You're old.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

Pretty old.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I can't get you off today. I can't piss you off. I love this energy.

[B]

I think it's wrong. I think the lexicon maybe is wrong because I'm like. Because normally when you say. You would have said these things, I would have gotten angry.

[E]

We also brought the door guy here to convert you.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

And what year was this bar?

[B]

This.

[E]

This show? Like, what years were like, three.

[B]

No, this is two. In the early 2000s.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, 2000.

[E]

Any other 2005.

[B]

That.

[E]

That used to be something that aren't.

[B]

Why are these. Why so many questions about it?

[D]

We're just interested in the history.

[C]

Yeah, you're our elder.

[B]

You're. I don't know. You're trying to question. See if I did open mics. No, we know you did.

[A]

We know.

[E]

No, but, like, these were good shows back then.

[C]

Yeah, but there were questioning whether you did open.

[B]

But a lot. A lot. Do you guys know who Jordy Fox is or Jordy Elder? Okay, anyway.

[A]

Explain why.

[B]

Because he worked for ATC for a very long time. He's an executive. He worked at Comedy Central as an executive, but he was a standup at one point. And him and I have had many war stories about certain gigs that we would just sit there for hours, there'd be no audience, and we would still go up in front of nobody. And this is. For years we did that.

[C]

You ever bomb in front of somebody really important?

[B]

Oh, my God, yeah. All the fucking time, dude. What are you talking about? On. Can I tell you the worst story? Please.

[D]

We would love that.

[B]

And one day, my manager and I almost fired her for this. I should have fired her. I go, I Had a Montreal showcase, but she set it up at Freaky Mondays or something. It was like the chocolate sun back then. We had like these black nights, you know, Chocolate Sundays.

[D]

Mondays.

[B]

What they were called one was called Freaky Mondays, Fat Tuesday. Right. Chocolate sundaes.

[D]

Chocolate Sundays.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, there was all these rooms. I don't know what. You know what I mean? Chocolate one. I did.

[A]

One of the chocolate ones.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know of the flavored ones. I did, but there you go. Is that better? Yeah, but it was. So not only did Montreal come out, but Abby goes, I called everybody, Will Smith's production company. I mean, all these fucking people.

[D]

Why Wilson?

[B]

I don't know. Because she had a big production company back then. Oh, wow. And she invited like half the town. And I was on. I was about to go up, but then somebody comes up to me and go, it's an all black room. And I don't generally do good in you. I mean, because what happens is I have a Southern California kind of a vibe, but for some reason, when I'm around Mexicans or blackroom, I change my accent. Code switch a little bit. I code switch.

[A]

You do?

[B]

Code switch. Hey, bro, how you doing? You know what I mean? Like, that's a Mexican. Yeah, yeah. What's. You know? I mean, you ever do that?

[E]

All the time.

[B]

Yeah. You code switch. Oh, yeah.

[E]

But I'll never code switch in front of like a Korean, though.

[B]

You.

[A]

That.

[E]

That feels the worst.

[B]

That feels.

[E]

I want to be in the same environment as everybody. I want to be on the same wave.

[B]

I love white rooms. What's up, everybody? Good to see you. Dag nab it. What a great show. Okie doi, all that stuff. Yeah.

[C]

Hope you filed your taxes.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So anyway, so some guy came up to me and goes, listen, these two kids are going to go up before you. And I go, who are they? They're like seven, eight year old rappers.

[E]

What?

[B]

Yeah. And I go, all right.

[D]

What?

[B]

And they go up and say they're supposed to do one song. They're on their third song and they're getting standing ovation. Oh, no. And then the host goes up and goes, you guys have to leave because we have all other comics. Right? And they never left the stage. And what the host did was brought me up while the kids were still on stage.

[A]

Oh, God.

[D]

Were they rapping to your set?

[B]

No, but they were like, you know, I mean, doing in the background interpretive.

[E]

Dancing to your joke.

[B]

Yeah. And as soon as I opened my mouth, I said the N word.

[A]

You Kramer.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It was bomb. And my friend Jonathan Gotic, right. He was at the improv. And I could see him, you know, at that doorway area. And John, I could see his face and I could see him go shake his head like that and go like, we locked eyes. And I almost started to cry.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I bob that hard.

[E]

Do you remember your first sentence out when you're on stage, like, to make.

[B]

You bomb the first. Here's My opening line.

[E]

Didn't work.

[B]

I used to. I used to mess my hair up.

[A]

Up.

[B]

Oh, yeah, right.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And my opening line was, I'm not really Asian. I just woke up. Yeah, yeah.

[E]

On paper, that should work.

[B]

No, that normally no work. That normally works.

[C]

I'm dying.

[B]

But if it doesn't work, I'm. I used to get in my head, what's your backup? That there is none. Right? So I'm like, if that doesn't work, because that's like a strong. Back then was my strong opening. Yeah, right. So I said it. I go. But I said it more.

[A]

I'm a.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[D]

A black set.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not really Asian. I just woke up and it ate it. And then I see Jonathan shake his head.

[E]

Do you ever see somebody get booed off stage? Oh, I saw once in Sacramento.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Riveting to see.

[B]

It's. Have you ever been booed?

[E]

Because I feel like the wrong football team or something. You're like, oh, right, right. Like the Bills suck. And then all their testosterone comes gargling.

[C]

You saw a comic, Sacramento, get boot off stage.

[E]

Yeah, this was this guy, Lance Woods, Sacramento comic. I was doing shows up at the Punchline years ago. He was like, dude, come to this room. It's. It's a urban room. You should do it. And the guy in front of me, I'll never forget this picture. He's a white guy in shorts. And he starts talking about his getting his ass ate by his girlfriend. And the crowd was not having it.

[D]

White guy in shorts.

[E]

Yeah, white guy in shorts. And you hear a guy in the back.

[B]

Oh, hell, no. Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Next. Next starts jiggling the keys and they go, get him off stage, Page, get him off. And I was up next. So white on white already, but threw him under the bus and immediately got a pop. I was like, I'm white, but I'm not that white. And they're like, but it was. Yeah.

[B]

Wow. Yeah.

[D]

You had to take your shorts off.

[C]

And be like, oh, oh, yeah.

[E]

They're George. They're George. But, yeah, that. That was the first time.

[B]

Did you see it? Did you console him afterwards, this guy, or.

[E]

No, no, I didn't associate with him at all.

[A]

I was like, what?

[E]

The audacity of white people, man.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

I said I was mixed or something, like part Russian or Welsh or something. But seeing a guy before you getting booed to get off stage because you hear about this, like, the definition. They're jingling keys, get off stage, boo. And when you're next in that. Not a fun environment to be in.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

But.

[D]

And did. So did he just leaves? He's like, okay, I got to get out of here.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

He. He didn't stick around.

[B]

Whoa.

[E]

He went straight to Reddit and was like, well, I got a piece of my mind. I don't know what he did, but.

[B]

I hate when people double down on their bomb.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And they defend it. When I bomb, I go inside myself and I destroy myself so I can rebuild. Yeah, right. I never go, no, man, that audio. I was good. That. I've never like that. Should I kill myself tonight? Is that you?

[D]

That's. Even when you have an amazing set.

[B]

You're the worst thing I've ever done. I never go, you know? I mean, go. Oh, you know what I mean? It was them.

[E]

I stick around to see the next comic to see was it truly them.

[B]

Yeah. Or before you go, you ask sometimes, like, I'll be at the store and I'll see really great guys not getting big laughs. And then. I know, right? I'll even ask them and go, was it day tough again? They were top.

[E]

You need that second person.

[B]

I do.

[E]

One extra.

[B]

I do. I do. Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

I just sat in the OR a few weeks ago, and Tim Dillon was next text, and I. I was bombing so bad. I saw him put his hands on his head.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

And then I had to introduce him. And he goes up and he does. Not as well as Tim Dill. He. Well, he does it.

[B]

He.

[D]

I'm like, so embarrassed. So I wanted to watch and be like, okay, I think it was me, but the audience is really bad. And then he comes up to me, he goes, those guys sucked.

[B]

Huh?

[D]

I was like, okay.

[B]

That's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes they just suck. There are.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Tim doesn't bomb a lot, but one time I saw him go up on a Girls Got to Eat show. Great podcast.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

And it was. It was me, him, and one other person, and he just wasn't connecting with him. For about 10 minutes. And it's, like, pretty quiet. And I loved him. I'm in the bag, dying. Yeah. And then he just flips and he goes, you know what? All of you, I have a Bentley out front, Hollywood Hills. While you low, miserable, are paying for comedy for a woman's podcast. Like this five minute, like, I need Bill burn Philly ass speech. Like, it was one of the best things I've ever seen.

[B]

I like when Tim bombs because he doubles down.

[D]

He's the best.

[B]

He's the best funny. Yeah.

[E]

He got out of it. It was great.

[B]

He's the best.

[D]

He doesn't back down, which is amazing.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

He just keeps it.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. What a great. Yeah.

[E]

I once at the Improv, saw somebody walk out. They see me in the hallway. They're like, oh, what's up, Trevor? I was like, dude, Tim Nolan's on. You got to go watch him. He goes, I'm on shrooms right now. It is just too much, which I totally get.

[C]

I don't need to think about the Federal Reserve. Yeah, I'm good.

[B]

Yeah. He's. He literally is one of my favorites to watch.

[E]

So goddamn good.

[B]

He's so good.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

What?

[D]

No, I just agree. I saw him in the main room a few nights ago, and he's just.

[B]

We've seen him too many times.

[D]

Okay. I was just.

[B]

Have we not.

[E]

You guys ever kissed?

[B]

Yeah, we have.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Don't say why.

[C]

I can't say why.

[E]

You have to say.

[D]

I got paid, else. I got paid to do it.

[B]

Yeah. She got paid to kiss me. Yeah.

[E]

Sort of like a make a wish thing.

[B]

Who's an acting thing?

[D]

Who's an acting thing?

[C]

Kind of an island situation. We'll talk about it.

[B]

It's an acting thing.

[E]

How much did you get paid?

[D]

Not a lot.

[E]

Under 100 or over?

[D]

Over, actually. Yeah, over.

[B]

Okay. You know what? I know you get paid a lot, but you're doing me a big favor, and the benefits outweigh the money.

[D]

That's true.

[B]

She finds me disgusting.

[D]

I do not find you disgusting.

[B]

Yeah, you find me disgusting.

[D]

You find me disgusting.

[B]

I don't find you disgusting. I don. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said that.

[D]

No, I didn't.

[B]

You told me I was disgusting.

[D]

No, I never said that.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Anyway, how did you get pitched for this opportunity?

[B]

I love Catbird. I think that she is out of the segment of what's at the Comedies right now that she's a rising star. I believe that with Ramsey, there's a couple of people. I feel that about at the start.

[A]

Did you believe that with Trevor before?

[B]

Sometimes I'm wrong.

[A]

Were you right about him?

[B]

He already has. By the time I met Trevor, he was already doing well.

[E]

Thank you.

[B]

No, what I'm saying is that because I don't do the other shows. I only do club shows.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's as soon as you started showing up at like the promoted shows, like the Monarchs, these other things. Right. I, I, that's when I would watch here and go, oh, this guy's great.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

But I didn't watch the Struggle.

[E]

Right.

[B]

You already established same with your Michael Blass.

[E]

Close enough.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

He's mixed.

[B]

What's his name?

[E]

Michael Bl.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Blackstein is, I think it one time he was, he took over a weekend for Michael Blackston.

[C]

Oh, insane. That's a crazy.

[E]

And people cancelled, but saw Blaustein and didn't like read it again and they showed up thinking it was going to be him.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[E]

Which is very funny.

[B]

Did they get refunds or. Sure.

[C]

I mean, they probably enjoyed themselves.

[B]

Imagine side by side.

[C]

I feel like Michael might have a slight crossover.

[B]

I think they probably like a little bit both funny.

[E]

Michael does well in all rooms, but Michael Blackson is one of the funniest guys.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God.

[C]

Did he come out wearing like a dashiki?

[A]

Like, I hope so.

[E]

Similar jaw structure.

[B]

Wait, now they must have walking in the club, saw Michael Blossein's photo. Because sometimes photos are off up. Yeah. And they probably would. They weren't surprised in the room. Probably.

[C]

No, they probably were.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I would imagine they were.

[B]

Some of them. Yeah. Wow.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

That's crazy.

[E]

But maybe they're like, oh, maybe I read it wrong. But yeah, he filled in a weekend for him and people just didn't read it, which is.

[B]

I got booked for a Henry Cho gig.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

People go, thought that I was Henry Cho. Right. And the day I was flying out, it was a corporate gig. Him. Right. The guy called me goes, hey, I just wanted to let you know you're not the southern guy. Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, no, you're thinking about Henry Cho. And they go, yeah, yeah, don't come, don't come. Yeah. I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah.

[E]

Damn.

[B]

You know, Henry, I don't love him. I don't know. I love him. I feel like I need a legend.

[C]

Yeah. I still really enjoy. I enjoyed his Comedy Central half hour. It's like one of the first ones I ever saw.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he's great.

[D]

I like the denim.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And he is Korean. You guys know Korean comics?

[C]

I'm a big fan.

[A]

A few, yeah.

[B]

Can you name me three Korean comics?

[C]

Joel Kim, Booster.

[B]

Oh, Joe Coy.

[E]

He's Filipino, right?

[B]

Look at this. Oh, my.

[A]

Oh, I guess you did the hair thing.

[B]

Yeah, I'm. Yeah, that's one. That was. I did that on that show. I'm not Bobby.

[C]

I'm not gonna lie. If you came out today and did that opener, I'd still.

[A]

It would work.

[C]

I'd still die.

[D]

Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

[B]

Well, yeah, I would. Do you notice my voice in that? It's crazy.

[A]

It's very high. You guys want to hear a little bit of.

[E]

Please.

[B]

No, no, no. Please don't. Please don't.

[E]

Just so they know.

[A]

Just so they know.

[B]

Okay. Please just look. How high? High.

[E]

All right, that's enough.

[B]

I grew up my hair like this. I'm gonna get this out of the way because Asian people look alike. Yay. And I wanted to look a little different, but Asian people don't even know I'm Asian now. That's the best.

[A]

Your voice is so different. I know.

[B]

He's stuck like that.

[C]

Yes, I do.

[B]

You know why you're putting it on Chris Tucker?

[E]

Oh, his Def Jam 10 minute set I think is like one of the best.

[B]

Cuz then that was when Chris Tucker blew up as a standup. So I'm like, oh, I'm gonna do a high pitch. It's stupid. Later I realized, oh, just be yourself.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You trying to be an Asian Chris Ducker is hilarious.

[D]

That's Jackie Chan.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Many movies on it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The things that I went through, changes, you know what I mean? Did you change a lot or were you always you?

[E]

No, I think I had my changes. I think that there's times where there was when I got really big was when, like, Delia was really big.

[B]

Oh, right.

[E]

Not when I got really big.

[B]

Sorry.

[E]

When I first started. And you'd see so many people at Mike's kind of like the mannerism, how they hold the phone and. Or not the phone, the. The mic and a lot of that. And then like, I get. A lot of people do like burr and stuff like that, but. But I think you try it all on, you see what fits the best.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I think every guy is like, you know, parts of little pieces.

[B]

You do it long enough to find yourself.

[E]

Right. And it all just goes away because.

[B]

We all had a different. A specific cadence that we, you know, we just watched on tv. Oh, this is how you're supposed to do it. Well, I like Dave Attel, so I'll do.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

It's like wine. There's notes of other people that you could see in there.

[B]

But then one day you're just kind of. I mean, do you. When you. You. Because when I look at you, all three of you, I see you. I don't see other people. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Early days, I. I put on a voice. I had, like a weird.

[B]

It was. I was like, hey, what's up, man? I was, like, really bad. Oh. Like a Roddy dance show.

[C]

I don't know. I was trying to sound grittier, I think.

[E]

I don't know.

[C]

I thought I Supposed to. I'm from the.

[D]

I'm David Tell.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

I don't know.

[C]

Really bad.

[B]

Take my wife, please. Yeah, she has a hijab.

[C]

Take my wife.

[B]

Whatever. What are. What do they wear? Hijab. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[D]

She's got a hijab.

[B]

Yeah. Hijab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beautiful wear, though.

[C]

Thank you for saying that.

[B]

Yeah. I appreciate the clothing. What's the point of a hijab?

[C]

To protect a woman's modesty, sexism.

[B]

Oh, is that what. Yeah, yeah.

[E]

You know, are they breathable? Yeah. How has Under Armour not been like, we got plans for.

[B]

For this?

[C]

They already do.

[E]

They do, bro.

[C]

My mom's got some Nike hijabs.

[D]

Well, the Olympics, too.

[B]

Can you. Can. You know a woman's hot just by this area. Okay.

[C]

Bobby, this is.

[B]

No, can you.

[C]

Can I. Yeah, I could.

[D]

Well, Ray Charles.

[B]

Oh, no. That hijab is the whole face.

[E]

Oh, is that a.

[B]

It's not the eye thing.

[C]

That's not.

[E]

But that's a sheisty. That's like, what they wear, an Obloc.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Oh, there's a Nike hijab.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

40 bucks.

[A]

Dope.

[E]

This is hard.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You could tell she's beautiful. Beautiful.

[D]

Well, yeah. You can see her face.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I'd like to be blurred out during this part, if possible.

[B]

Are you being real?

[C]

No, I'm kidding.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

You know, Ray Charles used to, like, touch the wrists of women to see if they were pretty.

[B]

Really?

[C]

I could tell a woman.

[B]

Can you?

[C]

I could, absolutely.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just on wrist alone?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I would think Trevor's a beautiful woman.

[B]

If I felt his wrist on my wrist now.

[C]

No, I would. No, I would be like, you know, I go with you. I'd go, maybe. If I can't find anybody else.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I'm a 2am joint, 100%.

[E]

Can I feel your wrist?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Close your eyes, though.

[D]

Pretend you're blind?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

I would get a pacemaker on this. I would lower your cholesterol immediately.

[C]

Yeah, unless you sleep at night.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Good wrist. Smooth.

[B]

I'm getting older, man. I have high blood pressure. I try to do better about my eating. Ray Charles. Do you think people lie to him a lot?

[C]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[D]

Like him particularly, or just blind?

[E]

Well, like.

[B]

Like if I was Ray Charles, like, assistant or whatever. And Ray's like, hey, that girl I met last night, she hot? I go, yeah, Even if she wasn't.

[E]

It was a dude.

[B]

Yeah, probably.

[E]

You probably stretch the truth a little bit more.

[B]

Yeah, I would want specifics if I was blind. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's see. Okay.

[E]

Especially when he's paying me.

[B]

You guys are my team.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

All right. Okay.

[E]

Hey, boss.

[B]

Oh, hey.

[C]

Hey. What's going on?

[D]

What's going on?

[C]

You got a 2pm today, just so you know.

[B]

A 2pm yeah, yeah.

[C]

Just telling you about your meetings and stuff like that.

[D]

You also owe.

[B]

What's the weather like?

[C]

It's. It's pretty good.

[E]

It doesn't matter for you. Hey, who.

[B]

Who said that?

[A]

That.

[E]

It's your wife, Trevina.

[B]

Oh, no, no, that's Trevor. That's Trevor. That's very funny, Trevor. Anyway, after the show last night, I met that woman.

[D]

Chris Tucker.

[E]

Again?

[B]

Yeah, I met that woman, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Catalana.

[C]

Uhhuh.

[B]

She's hot. What she look like?

[E]

Oh, man.

[D]

Asian.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I'm not. I'm okay with that. I don't know what that means. Really? I don't know what that means.

[C]

Oh, I just. Exhausted, you know?

[B]

Beautiful. Yeah. You mean the eyes? I could touch the eyes. When I touched her eyes, I knew she was Asian. She was either sleeping directly at your eyes anyway. Because I'm Asian, right? I touch my own eyes. I know. Yeah. So she's Asian.

[C]

What else? Great face. Good.

[B]

What kind of. Can we describe the face?

[C]

Slender.

[E]

Good.

[C]

Nose.

[B]

Nose not like yours. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. Give me your nose. I want to read a book anyway. Thank you, Ramsey. And what else? What's the body like?

[D]

Great abs.

[C]

No hair on her tits.

[B]

Oh, you know I don't like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could touch the breast. Yeah. So I know what they seem like. Yeah. The body.

[D]

The body was. It was probably a 7 out of 10.

[E]

10.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, is that good?

[E]

It's good. It's good.

[C]

It's good.

[B]

Bruises.

[E]

Great. Yeah.

[B]

Bruises?

[C]

A few. We were in Jacksonville.

[B]

Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah.

[C]

That's okay. It's normal over there. Yeah.

[B]

Where are the bruises? On the knees.

[C]

Couple were sort of under the armp.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

What about skin?

[E]

Black, Dark. Like your vision.

[B]

Real good. I see now you just. It could be anybody. Anybody. Yeah. Well, what do you carry when you're blind anyway?

[E]

What do you carry?

[B]

No, what do you care? Oh, like vision really?

[D]

So if you were blind and some door guy came up to you and was like, do you want to talk about Jesus? What would you say?

[B]

I believe. No, Jesus. Jesus, Me, I was born with no eyes. Blind?

[C]

Yeah. I want to talk about Satan.

[B]

Yeah, but you know, if you're blind, you know, just as long as they smelled good and sound good and they sounded good and they were nice. Right. And they just kind of felt.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I mean they could look like anybody. Oh yeah.

[C]

They gotta feel good.

[B]

Yeah, they gotta feel good. I think it's more about that sensation.

[D]

That would just be crazy to. To have someone just touch you immediately just. Just to pet you to see if they like you.

[B]

Oh yeah. That is weird. Yeah.

[E]

Right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And you have to be Ray Charles.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You can't be just like, you know.

[D]

Just be like the guy I make.

[B]

Keys, you know, I'm a key maker. Not that guy, you know, it also.

[C]

A wild profession for a blind man.

[E]

Chemic.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[E]

Locksmith is blind.

[B]

Really? Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Heavy machinery.

[B]

Yeah. What would be a good, good blind lifeguard? Pottery. Pottery.

[E]

Why pottery?

[B]

Because you're self touched. It's touched.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Masseuse.

[B]

Masseuse is a good one, but then.

[E]

That gets a little tricky.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[E]

A little too low.

[D]

Oh, happy ending.

[E]

Third leg.

[B]

Ah, I see, I see, I see. See. Very good. Yeah, yeah. There was a. Burke Williams, the most sought after masseuse person was a blind Russian. And I had him a couple of times and he's amazing.

[E]

You prefer a guy.

[B]

He was the best because he was blind. So I know he was just good, I think, because his senses, with his hands, you know, he. It's more. Oh no.

[E]

Did they have somebody like walk him into the room?

[C]

Oh, that's awesome. They take off his robe?

[D]

Yeah, no, no, he's naked for something.

[B]

We play Marco Polo. I got Marco Polo. He's in a different room and that took about two hours. Yeah, that was fine.

[E]

That was the whole time?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

You had a really. You had a blind masseuse?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

And what is this?

[B]

Blind eyes, working hands. Yeah. Perception massage.

[D]

I don't know about this. It feels weird, this ad for some reason.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Cuz she's just like.

[C]

Yeah, as long as he's Thai, I'd be. I'd be okay with it. Oh, Russian is a bit.

[D]

No, that picture's been taken.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Is everybody blind?

[B]

The person getting thought, yeah, no, they're all Asian, dude. Yeah. Yeah. The person laying down person's on the right. What? Yeah.

[C]

Oh, I. I thought they were all blind.

[B]

No, the ones that are doing the massaging are blind.

[D]

All blind. That's the massage sash.

[B]

Oh, you think it's a blind place for blind people, too?

[E]

I thought, well, also, can we flag this? There's a braille photo in the background. Like, they can see that.

[B]

But there's.

[E]

Not braille on it. So why are they putting braille in there?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Who is that for?

[E]

Yeah, it's for the.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

To feel good about themselves.

[E]

Oh, look at me.

[C]

I'm helping blind people.

[B]

What else you going to put there?

[D]

Also, why does she have a watch on? Why does she need to know the time?

[E]

Damn.

[B]

Damn.

[E]

Maybe it vibrates after the time is up. Maybe.

[C]

Definitely. One bad masseuse went in there and pretended to be blind. There's no question.

[B]

I would say that watch. The right time's not right, though. I'll tell you that right now. Yeah. Real fun jokes about the blind. That's crazy. Yeah. But, yeah, I think your senses right. When you're blind is more heightened other, like your sense of smell and taste. Do you think, or.

[E]

No, Absolutely.

[B]

Remember Daredevil? Oh, yeah, the superhero. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Blind Chef would be interesting.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Blind Chef 1.

[E]

Has TLC done anything with the blinds?

[C]

It's a good question.

[E]

I feel like TLC loves it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

A good disability.

[B]

Something. Yeah, yeah.

[E]

That's how they pitch shows. They're like, yeah, yeah, it's cooking. But what if they couldn't see?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Chopped. But we chopped their vision.

[B]

Well, there's the blind photographers. You know that, right?

[E]

What?

[B]

Yeah, there was a documentary on HBO about blind. There's a couple of professional blind photographers.

[E]

It's like, this is a photo I got in the woman's restroom.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

No, I didn't know about.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

And it's. They sense based on the environment.

[B]

I think somebody tells them what to shoot.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

They have, like, an assistant. And you go, so they have eyes. Yeah. Is this good?

[E]

But they're just.

[B]

Yeah, John. I think that's it.

[C]

Get John more of a camera operator.

[B]

Can you look it up? The. The famous blind photographer.

[A]

This one is. The winner of MasterChef season three was a blind woman.

[B]

Oh.

[E]

If you lose to a blind woman, you got to get out of a restaurant.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. You got to quit that day.

[C]

Yeah. But you feel. How do you feel about yourself when you. When you demolish a blind woman in Matt?

[B]

Good.

[E]

She's blind. I should be there.

[D]

Job well done.

[E]

I wouldn't beat her by, like a lot, but like a parsnip.

[C]

You'd have to go, listen, I will control 50.

[E]

50 on that. But she's blind. You go 60, 40.

[A]

Fair.

[B]

Did you chop her own vegetables?

[A]

She has someone that tells her where to chop.

[B]

Like cheating. Yeah. She's got to chop her own vegetable.

[C]

I'm with you.

[B]

Don't you think?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

She was the blind one.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

She's so cute.

[B]

She's cute, too.

[C]

Definitely helps her. She's cute. Yeah.

[E]

For sure.

[B]

If I was blind, would you say that I was cute or no? Would you lie to me?

[C]

Where are we? Where are we on the tour?

[E]

You're trying to cross the street, then you're a cute man.

[B]

But we're friends. One day we're just hanging around and I'm. I'm a stand up blunt. Stand up, right? I go, hey, guys, FYI, I just want to ask. I mean, would you guys consider me hot? I don't know. I've never seen myself.

[C]

Am I opening for you at the time?

[B]

Yes, you are.

[C]

Yes. I would say you look beautiful.

[B]

You're not opening for me.

[C]

I'm not opening for.

[B]

Yeah. What would you say?

[C]

I'd say you look nice.

[D]

Can I open for you?

[B]

Have you so you wouldn't say that. So I'm not attractive?

[C]

What do you mean you're attractive?

[D]

I think it attractive.

[B]

Just say that.

[C]

But if you were. If you were looking back, if you were looking particularly bad that day, I wouldn't tell you is what I'm saying.

[B]

Oh, I see.

[C]

I'd let you live with that.

[B]

But in general, you would say that I'm decent looking.

[C]

Yeah, I would. I would say you're a decent looking guy.

[E]

About.

[B]

Interesting. Okay.

[E]

I think you're.

[B]

I would say that about all three of you, probably.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

This is.

[D]

Should we start our only fans now or.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

What do you think has been the hottest era of Bobby? Is it right now? Is it 10 years ago? Mad TV.

[C]

Because now. Now is better than the photo that we. Or the video that we saw earlier.

[A]

The blind photographer.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Seizure corn.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Like corn. The band spelled.

[B]

That's cool.

[D]

Bakersfield, I think.

[A]

What is she taking photos of, though?

[E]

Oh, she's feeling it.

[B]

She feels it first.

[E]

The lens Cap is on the whole time.

[C]

I want to show looks like my vision. Yeah.

[E]

What I see.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

I kind of fuck with this. This is kind of sick.

[C]

She's holding the camera.

[D]

Erotic, the way she touches stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

She does, like, the portraits from middle schoolers. She's like, hold still.

[C]

She's photographing herself, like, thinking she's looking at.

[B]

Oh, so she. She does preparation. Yeah. Right. She feels things out. Right. And.

[E]

Oh, that's f. That angle is awful. She's supposed to be looking at the camera. That's the most fucked angle in the world.

[B]

You get her the photo. How do you know is that good?

[E]

She's like, I'm at Disneyland, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[B]

That's her husband.

[D]

The guy is weird. Oh, that's her husband.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That guy rocks.

[B]

Yeah. Anyway, let's move on from this.

[E]

She would rip on Kill Tony.

[C]

Golden ticket winner. Yeah, golden ticket winner.

[B]

Have you guys ever done Kill Tony?

[C]

I. I think when it first became a show, I did in the belly Room way back in the day.

[B]

Yeah, but you would do it in now? No, you would draw now. Would you draw?

[D]

I don't think so.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why?

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

It's a lot of exposure.

[D]

It's a lot of exposure, but I don't know if I'm in. I don't know. I guess if it were to. It just doesn't seem for me you're Bobby Lee.

[C]

You have nothing going on in your life, let's say. Would you do. Is that something you would do?

[E]

Well, he already has nothing going on now.

[B]

Yeah, I would not do it.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Anything to promote.

[E]

I'm shooting a Special in Arizona, March 13th and 14th.

[B]

Where you playing?

[E]

The Oreo.

[B]

Oh, nice theater.

[E]

And then I'm on tour, a whole Texas run, doing a bunch of places. St. Louis, Kansas City, Memphis.

[D]

That's awesome.

[E]

I already did Jacksonville.

[A]

Great city.

[E]

Alabama, Texas, Wyoming.

[D]

Did you meet anyone in Jacksonville?

[E]

I met a guy who was smoking a joint, and as I approached him, he put it out and stomped it out with the feet. Cuz he said, oh, I thought you were a cop on Brand for my Face.

[B]

Are these all theaters that you're playing or. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

[E]

Yeah, man. I'm in the middle of a tour right now and it's been a. It's been a lot of fun.

[B]

Wow. You prefer that over the clubs?

[E]

Yes and no. I mean, it just depends based on. I think music venues kind of suck for comedy because they're dense for so the laughs kind of go up and down.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

But traditional theaters are incredible. So much fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

But there's just certain clubs that are just, you know, better than some music venues.

[B]

Oh, that's.

[D]

That's the merch.

[A]

Oh, that's.

[E]

Yeah, I hired a really cool, like, merch, like downtown la. Like, you know, like, that's cool guy.

[B]

And he.

[E]

He's great. He just knows the vibe.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Unemployed kind of guy.

[E]

Oh, he's the best dude. He's so good.

[B]

Good vibes. But.

[E]

Yeah. I'm on tour right now@trevor wallace.com and I'm so excited for your special to come out. Just hearing what you did for yours with the effects is really cool. Now I'm like, I got up my game.

[B]

I don't know how it's going to turn out, but thank you.

[C]

It's gonna be great.

[D]

It's gonna be great.

[C]

It's gonna be great.

[B]

Everyone says it's gonna be great. Well, there's.

[E]

You've been edging everybody for 30 years. I know this nut is going to be. Be tremendous.

[D]

Just practicing your blind face.

[B]

Yeah. Give Trevor round of applause.

[E]

Hey, thanks for having me. Always a pleasure. Coming on.

[A]

Lonely.