Podcast Summary: "Acontece que no es poco | Asesinado Calígula, el tipo que puso a los romanos de los nervios"

Podcast: Todo Concostrina
Host: Nieves Concostrina (with Carla)
Episode Date: January 24, 2024
Theme: The assassination of Calígula – Rome’s most infamous emperor and why the entire Empire wanted him gone.

Episode Overview

In this lively and insightful episode, Nieves Concostrina and Carla explore the notorious reign and violent end of Calígula, the Roman emperor whose short but turbulent rule left an indelible mark on history. With sharp humor and her signature demystifying tone, Nieves unpacks fact from exaggeration, investigates the myth of Calígula’s madness and the infamous consul horse, and recounts the spectacular plot that led to his assassination.

Key Discussion Points

1. The Difficulty and Dangers of Ruling

• [01:08] Nieves: “Lo de mandar es jodido. No se debería hacer. Es mejor dirigir que mandar.”
  • Nieves draws a distinction between ‘mandar’ (to rule/boss) versus ‘dirigir’ (to lead/guide), setting up the episode’s theme: the perils of absolute power.
• Carla and Nieves discuss personal reflections on leadership and how Calígula epitomizes the dangers when things go wrong.

2. Who Was Calígula?

• Full name: Cayo Julio César Germánico.
• Became emperor at 24, was assassinated at 28.
• Despite attempts to erase his legacy, Calígula remains one of Rome’s most infamous leaders.
• [01:32] Nieves: “Qué tipo tan insufrible. Cuando te asesinan los que te tienen que proteger, eso es que ya tienes a todo el mundo, hasta la peineta.”
• Historians argue there were at least three separate groups plotting his assassination, illustrating how universally despised he was.

3. Calígula and the Famous Horse Myth

• The idea that Calígula made his horse Incitatus a consul is probably a myth or gross exaggeration.
  • [04:03] Nieves: “Lo de nombrar cónsul a su caballo... parece que no. Lo dicen los expertos, entre ellos la historiadora Mary Beard... Ella ve probable que Calígula, que era un insolente, pudiera decir algo como ‘mi caballo Incitatus es más listo que vosotros.’”
• The real part: Calígula’s horse genuinely enjoyed a life of luxury — a marble stable, ivory manger, slaves, and guards.
• A humorous detour compares Calígula’s horse to Jesús Gil’s famous horse, sparking anecdotes about Spanish pop culture.

4. The Assassination: How and Where It Happened

• Calígula was killed during the last day of the Juegos Palatinos, a series of theatrical performances honoring Emperor Augustus.
• The murder was supposed to happen earlier but faced delays. Ultimately, the conspirators acted after a day of public entertainment.
• A key accidental detail: During the opening sacrifice, the blood of a sacrificed flamingo splashed onto Senator Asprenas — an incident with unforeseen, deadly consequences.
  • [05:52] Nieves recounts: The step-by-step of the assassination, including the role of Cassius Chaerea, the pretorian commander whom Calígula often mocked.
  • Calígula endured numerous humiliations toward Chaerea, who finally seized his moment:
    • [09:03] Nieves: “Esta vez no le dio tiempo ni para hacer el chiste. Recibió un espadazo entre la clavícula y el cuello... En total, contadas 30 puñaladas.”
• The violence extended to Calígula’s wife and daughter, demonstrating the ruthlessness of Roman politics.

5. What Happened After?

• Although everyone hated Calígula, his assassination was still a magnicidio (murder of a head of state), causing immediate chaos.
• The bloodied Senator Asprenas was killed as a mistaken collaborator, simply because of the flamingo blood — a bitterly ironic twist.
  • [10:17] Nieves: “Por mucho que el hombre intentara explicar que esa sangre era del flamenco que le había salpicado, no del emperador, no hubo forma. Lo dejaron en el sitio.”
• The Senate briefly fantasized about restoring the Republic, but the military made their own decision: They grabbed Calígula’s uncle Claudio and made him emperor, allegedly finding him hiding behind a curtain.
• Discussion of how dangerous it was to refuse such a “promotion” and how Claudio survived by playing the fool — only to later be poisoned.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Calígula’s Reputation:
  • [01:40] Nieves: “Por muchas estatuas que destruyeran, por mucho que se ordenara el borrado de su memoria, nada, aquí seguimos fascinados por su figura.”
• On Historical Myths:
  • [04:03] Nieves: “Lo de nombrar cónsul a su caballo... parece que no. Lo dicen los expertos, entre ellos la historiadora Mary Beard...”
• On Roman Vengeance:
  • [09:55] Nieves: “Había ganas de venganza. Y se vengaron tanto que también se cargaron, solo un rato después, a la esposa y a la niña de Cali.”
• On Claudio’s Reluctance:
  • [10:58] Nieves: “Dicen que lo encontraron escondido detrás de unas cortinas, acojonadito, perdido, diciendo que no, que no, que no, que me dejéis, que yo no quiero ser emperador.”

Important Timestamps

• 01:08 — On leadership: Mandar vs. Dirigir
• 01:32 — Calígula’s short, infamous legacy
• 04:03 — The horse and the myth busted
• 05:52 — Setup and execution of the assassination at the Games
• 09:03 — Details and brutality of the murder
• 10:17 — Aftermath, including collateral deaths and political chaos
• 10:58 — Claudio’s reluctant accession
• 13:05 — Brief discussion of the series “Yo, Claudio” and the legacy of Roman emperors

Tone & Style

Nieves delivers this history lesson with trademark wit, irreverence, and skepticism toward legend. She effectively demystifies exaggerations about Calígula, highlights the dark humor in Roman politics, and draws clever parallels to modern figures. Carla acts as an astute and lighthearted conversational partner, keeping the narrative engaging and accessible.

Summary for New Listeners

This episode offers a vivid, no-nonsense look at Calígula’s turbulent reign and murder, stripping away sensationalism to get at historical truth. Listeners will come away with a clearer understanding of Roman imperial politics, the blending of myth and fact, and why certain stories — like the consul horse — have persisted. The conversational approach keeps things lively without sacrificing depth, making complex history approachable and memorable.

Highly recommended for anyone intrigued by ancient history, infamous rulers, or simply great storytelling.