Todo Concostrina – Acontece que no es poco

"Bufonadas monárquicas: La curación de escrófulas y el lavado de pies a los pobres"

Date: February 29, 2024
Host: Nieves Concostrina, SER Podcast
Episode Focus: Peculiar historical rituals tying monarchy and religion—specifically the "Curación de escrófulas" and the royal foot-washing of the poor.

Overview

In this episode, Nieves Concostrina uncovers the bizarre, tradition-laden spectacles of European monarchies, focusing on two striking rituals:

1. The Royal "Curación de escrófulas" (the king’s alleged healing touch for scrofula sufferers), mostly practiced in France and England.
2. The Lavado de pies a los pobres (the ceremonial washing of paupers' feet by Spanish royalty), which lasted in Spain until the 20th century.
   Concostrina calls out the intersection of monarchy, religion, and social hypocrisy, exposing these rituals as a blend of theatricality, superstition, and cynical performance.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

A. Setting the Scene: Ridicule and Shame around Monarchical Rituals

• Nieves characterizes the episode’s subject as a “payasada real”—a royal buffoonery (00:42).
  • Quote: “Es un asunto muy extravagante, por no llamarlo que esto es una payasada real o una real payasada monárquica, no sé cómo decirlo.” (Nieves, 00:42)
• Context: She says these rituals should provoke embarrassment if modern royals were listening.

B. The French "Toque Real": The King's Magic Touch

• Scrofula ("escrófulas") explained: Infectious lumps associated with tuberculosis, commonly appearing on the neck (03:16).
• The Ritual: In Versailles, Louis XIV ("el repollo") would touch scrofula sufferers, reciting, “El rey te toca, Dios te cura.”
  • No real healing; blame shifted to God if the 'miracle' failed (03:16–04:35).
• This custom, “toque real,” persisted for centuries in France and England, not just Spain.

C. The Spanish Performance: Washing the Poor’s Feet

• Biblical origin: Ritual rooted in the Gospel of John—Jesus washing his disciples’ feet at the Last Supper (04:38).
• First in Spain: King Fernando III (called “San Fernando” but never canonized—Concostrina calls this a royal fib) began the tradition in 1242 (04:38–06:48).
  • Quote: “San Fernando no existe. No es que nunca lo canonizaron, se lo inventaron. Lo llaman San Fernando, pero no existe.” (Nieves, 05:02)
• The ritual persisted in Spain for nearly 800 years, evolving into what Concostrina describes as a “burla carnavalesca” (a burlesque or farcical show).
• 12 poor men and 12 poor women (chosen and cleaned up by palace staff) stood in for the 12 apostles.

D. The Last Royal Footwashing (1931)

• Alfonso XIII and Queen Victoria Eugenia performed the last instance of the ritual on April 2, 1931 (07:15).
  • Quote: “La última vez que Alfonso XIII y su señora, la reina consorte Victoria Eugenia, lavaron los pies... fue el 2 de abril de 1931, jueves Santo. Doce días después fueron expulsados con viento fresco.” (Nieves, 07:15)
• Ritual faded after the monarchy’s exile; no more “theatrillo” (stage show/parody).

E. Detailed Description of the Ritual (08:43–12:00)

• Preparations:
  • The poor were cleaned, dressed (men in cape, hat; women in humble dress), with feet especially manicured beforehand.
• Performance:
  • The King and Queen gently washed (and even kissed) each pair of feet, helped by nobles (“grandes de España”) who dressed the paupers afterwards.
  • Nobles helped seat the poor at a grand banquet table.
• Banquet & Gifts:
  • The poor were served elaborate Lenten meals—tortilla de patata, merluza, confit fruits, no meat.
  • Excess food given in baskets for families; dishes, utensils, even serving ware were theirs to keep—but many would sell them immediately upon leaving (11:20).
  • Quote: “Nada más salir de palacio, los pobres, por lo general, solían vender toda la vajilla porque les importaba un pito tener un recuerdo.” (Nieves, 11:20)
• Concostrina likens the entire performance to “poner a Cristo vestido de frac” (dressing Christ in formalwear).
  • Quote: “Esto era como poner a Cristo vestido de frac.” (Nieves citando a Galdós, 12:00)
• She connects this to modernity: Pope Francis still washes feet every Holy Thursday, whether of the poor or prisoners.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the hypocrisy:
  • “Aquí hemos venido a vivir bien, no a lavar pies de pobres. Los pobres, ¿cuanto más lejos, mejor.” (Nieves, imitándose a Juan Carlos I, 01:40)
• Social critique:
  • “Esto es postureo, efectivamente, pero es muy serio... se acabaron los teatrillos, el paripé ya no era necesario mantenerlo.” (Nieves, 07:15)
• Reflection:
  • “...vuelve el pobre a su pobreza, vuelve el rico a su riqueza y el señor cura sus misas.” (Nieves citando a Serrat, 12:50)

Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------| | 00:42 | “Payasada” introduction, critique of monarchical rituals | | 03:16 | Explanation of scrofula and the French “toque real” | | 04:38 | Origins and rationale behind the royal foot-washing | | 05:02 | Countdown to Spanish tradition, 'San Fernando' myth | | 07:15 | Last royal foot-washing in 1931 and context of end | | 08:43 | Detailed description of the ritual and subsequent feast | | 11:20 | Poor selling royal gifts, critique of material “recuerdos” | | 12:00 | “Cristo vestido de frac”—summary, comparison to present | | 12:50 | Quoting Serrat on poverty, summing up the episode |

Conclusion

Nieves Concostrina’s inimitable tone combines biting satire with investigative storytelling, making “Acontece que no es poco” both entertaining and educational. Through scrutiny of royal rituals like curing scrofula and foot-washing, she exposes the performative showmanship of past monarchies—illuminating not just historical oddities, but ongoing issues of class, belief, and spectacle.