Podcast Summary:

Todo Concostrina – Acontece que no es poco | El Sínodo del Terror
Date: December 13, 2022
Host: Nieves Concostrina, with Carlas (SER Podcast)

Overview

This episode delves into a bizarre, gruesome, and almost unbelievable chapter in Church history: "El Sínodo del Terror" or "El Concilio Cadavérico" (The Cadaver Synod). Nieves Concostrina uses her signature mix of irreverence, sharp criticism, and black humor to recount the 9th-century Vatican episode where a deceased pope—Formoso—was exhumed and put on trial by his successor.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: The Morbid Curiosity of History

• [00:59] Carlas sets the tone: “Hoy va fuerte esto… tenemos uno de sobresaliente, Nieves, pero total.”
  This is not your average history lesson; it's exceptionally macabre, even for historical standards.

• Nieves contextualizes:

  • The Church, though portrayed as dignified, has deep roots in corruption, murder, and power struggles:

    “...la Iglesia... es una institución absolutamente pervertida... no parece importar que sus cimientos sean la corrupción, sean el asesinato, el poder, el dinero y la degeneración...” (Nieves, [01:28])

• The story is so shocking it sounds like B-movie horror fiction, but it’s all factual.

• The protagonist, Pope Formoso, is memorable largely for this bizarre episode.

2. Turbulent Times in the Papacy

• [04:00] Nieves paints a picture of chaos:

  • In 90 years, 24 popes, with 9 popes in just 9 years—violent deaths, assassinations, and depositions were the norm.
  • The papacy was “bought and sold” and not even children were spared as popes (starting at age eleven or sixteen).
  • Murder, poisoning, and brutal power grabs (e.g., Pope John VIII murdered with hammers).

• Quoting Nieves:

  “El papado se compraba... Juan VIII fue asesinado a martillazos en la cabeza... el Vaticano en estado puro.” ([04:00-04:54])

3. Pope Formoso: From Obscurity to Macabre Fame

• Formoso’s rise:

  • Became pope at age 75, “Formoso” meaning “handsome/beautiful”—a bit of dark irony.
  • His papacy was embroiled in political and territorial struggles, particularly involving the coronation and legitimacy of emperors.

• Key Rivalry:

  • Formoso crowned Arnulfo de Baviera as Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, angering Lamberto de Spoleto (who wanted the title).
  • Formoso was likely poisoned by Spoleto’s supporters for his opposition.
  • After Formoso's death, the see-sawing alliances in Rome continued with his successor, Esteban VI, who eventually sided with Spoleto.

4. The Cadaver Synod: Putting a Dead Pope on Trial

• [08:45] The chilling core event:

  • Formoso had been dead nine months when he was unearthed for the “trial.”
  • His decomposed body was dressed in papal vestments, propped on a throne, and tied upright to keep him from slumping.
  • A defense attorney was appointed in mockery; the process became an absurd but brutally real spectacle.

• Quote:

  “Sentar a un muerto es muy difícil. Así que lo tuvieron que atar al sillón para que no se escurriera y mantuviera una postura decorosa ante el tribunal.” (Nieves, [09:00])

  • Prosecution and defense carried on as if he were alive, emphasizing the grotesque theatricality:

    “El abogado de la acusación machacó a preguntas al muerto... Aquí lo lógico sería que el abogado de Formoso hubiera protestado. Protesto. El estado de mi defendido le impide responder. Bueno, pues no...” (Nieves, [09:44])

5. Verdict and Barbarity

• The “trial” concluded with Formoso being declared an illegitimate pope; all of his acts and decrees were voided:

  “El Papa fue declarado indigno servidor de la Iglesia, su pontificado ilegítimo y se dictó que todo cuanto había hecho, decretado y ordenado durante su papado era nulo.” (Nieves, [10:31])

• The formal degradation:

  • Papal vestments stripped, only his hair-shirt (cilicio) left on.
  • Three fingers used for blessings severed, burned, and thrown in the Tiber River.

  “Le cortaron los tres dedos con los que impartió bendiciones, los quemaron y los arrojaron todo al río Tíber.” ([11:55])

• The remains were further humiliated and dumped in the Tiber, all for public spectacle:

  “Lo que quedó de Formoso fue arrastrado por las calles de Roma... y arrojado al río Tíber ante una multitud encantada con el espectáculo.” ([12:07])

6. Fallout and Restoration

• A fisherman retrieved the remains, which were ultimately re-buried.
• Soon after, the orchestrator of the affair, Pope Esteban VI, met a grisly end himself.
• Pope Juan IX reversed the judgment, rehabilitated Formoso, and officially banned posthumous trials:

  “Juan IX ... prohibió juzgar a personas muertas, porque además de oler muy mal, es una soberana gilipollez.” (Nieves, [12:24])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Parece más propio de cine gore... que no de la condición de seres humanos.” – Carlas ([00:59])
• “Sentar a un muerto es muy difícil. Así que lo tuvieron que atar al sillón para que no se escurriera…” – Nieves ([09:00])
• “El abogado de la acusación machacó a preguntas al muerto…” – Nieves ([09:54])
• “...prohibió juzgar a personas muertas, porque además de oler muy mal, es una soberana gilipollez.” – Nieves ([12:24])

Timeline of Key Events

• [01:28] – Introduction to the Papal corruption and background
• [04:00] – The bloody succession of popes in the late 9th century
• [06:08] – Formoso vs. Lamberto de Spoleto: The political rivalry
• [08:55] – The exhumation and sham trial of Pope Formoso’s corpse
• [10:31] – The verdict and posthumous punishment
• [12:07] – Humiliation of Formoso’s body and aftermath
• [12:24] – Rehabilitation of Formoso and end of cadaver trials

Tone & Style

Nieves Concostrina delivers the narration with irreverent wit, direct criticism of clerical corruption, and dark humor. The episode is engaging, playing the grotesque elements for both their horror and their absurdity, reminding listeners that truth can indeed be stranger than fiction.

A must-listen episode for anyone interested in the darker, stranger corners of history, or those who appreciate sharp, unvarnished takes on entrenched institutions.