Podcast Summary: "Acontece que no es poco | Juana, beata y santa y reliquias de gato"

Podcast: Todo Concostrina
Host: Nieves Concostrina (SER Podcast)
Date: June 1, 2022

Overview

In this characteristically witty and irreverent episode, Nieves Concostrina revisits the life, afterlife, and especially the posthumous legend-making around Joan of Arc (Juana de Arco). The focus is on how her memory and supposed relics were manipulated over centuries for political and religious purposes, leading up to the extraordinary result that fragments fraudulently attributed to the saint turned out to be Egyptian mummy and cat bones.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Joan of Arc’s Death and Political Manipulation (00:57–03:13)

• Concostrina humorously recounts how Joan was condemned and burned for heresy, only for her reputation to be politically "rehabilitated" decades later once it suited the French monarchy:

  • Quote: "Resultó que el mismo Dios que le daba instrucciones a ella para ir ganando batallas, luego dio instrucciones a los enemigos de ella para que se la cargaran. Esto son informaciones contradictorias." (01:08, Nieves Concostrina)

• After execution, Joan’s ashes were thrown into the Seine and "nadie nunca más volvió a ocuparse" (nobody cared anymore), until her legend was conveniently revived centuries later.

2. Beatification as a Political Operation (03:13–07:41)

• Concostrina explains that the French monarchy and Church used Joan’s reputation for their own narratives:
  • Quote: "Si resulta que luego habían quemado a Juana por hereje y por decir que hablaba con Dios, pues era como decir que había mentido. Luego hubo que anular el juicio de su herejía y declararla inocente o las cuentas no cuadraban." (03:44, Nieves Concostrina)
  • Joan was beatified in 1909 and canonized in 1920 as a reaction to France’s 1905 separation of Church and State. The Church needed to energize its followers after losing state support and “paguitas.”
  • The beatification spectacle and the giving out of "estampitas" showed deep hypocrisy from the same institution that burned Joan.

3. Invention and Exposure of Joan’s "Relics" (07:41–10:41)

• Genuine relics of Joan were impossible since her remains were destroyed, but centuries later, a supposed box of relics surfaced.
  • Quote: "Te lo inventas y ya está." (08:01, Nieves Concostrina, on how religious relics are fabricated)
  • These relics—bones and a piece of cloth—were "saved" from the fire and kept in a Paris pharmacy.
  • After canonization, they were handed to the archbishop of Tours, who eventually allowed scientists to analyze them in 2006—a rare move, as "jamás la iglesia permite el estudio de reliquias, porque claro, todas son falsas." (09:35–09:45)

4. Scientific Analysis: The Cat and the Mummy (10:41–12:02)

• Scientific tests revealed the so-called relics were actually from an Egyptian human mummy and a mummified Egyptian cat, thousands of years before Joan’s time.
  • Quote: "Uno de los huesos era de una momia egipcia y el otro era el fémur de un gato también momificado egipcio." (10:41, Nieves Concostrina)
  • The fabrication was easy for nineteenth-century pharmacists, who often stocked real mummy parts for medicinal use.

5. Pharmacies and Momias: Origins of the Fraud (11:00–12:40)

• Concostrina explains the abundance of mummy remains in nineteenth-century pharmacies and how the fraudster could easily assemble Joan’s "relics." A future episode is promised to dive into this bizarre chapter of medicinal history.
  • Quote: "Hasta el siglo XVIII vendían polvo de momia como remedio medicinal. Luego cayó en picado la venta. Pero algunos boticas todavía tenían un stock de momias en la rebótica." (11:24, Nieves Concostrina)

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Contradictory Divine Orders:
  "El mismo Dios que le daba instrucciones a ella... luego dio instrucciones a los enemigos de ella para que se la cargaran. Esto son informaciones contradictorias." — Nieves Concostrina (01:11)

• On Beatification Hypocrisy:
  "Lo suyo sería decir que impresionantes por el gentío y tal, pero se ajusta mejor decir que son vergonzosas." — Nieves Concostrina (04:10)

• On Relic Forgery:
  "Te lo inventas y ya está." — Nieves Concostrina (08:01)
  "La prueba del carbono 14 dijo que estos dos personajes, el gato y la otra momia, habían muerto entre el siglo VII y III antes de nuestra era, o sea, hacía 3.000 años." — Nieves Concostrina (10:52)

• On the Willingness of the Church to Allow Scientific Testing:
  "Esto es lo nunca visto, porque jamás, jamás la Iglesia permite el estudio de reliquias, porque claro, todas son falsas..." — Nieves Concostrina (09:45)

• On the Paradox of Joan's Fate:
  "Primero la ejecutan, luego la canonizan. Vaya empanada." — Nieves Concostrina (09:58)

Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:57: Introduction of the theme and Joan’s paradoxical political manipulation after death.
• 03:13: Motives behind Joan's posthumous "rehabilitation" and beatification.
• 07:41: The mystery of Joan’s relics and the fabrication of her remains.
• 10:41: Analysis revealing relics were a human mummy and a mummified cat from ancient Egypt.
• 11:24: Explanation on pharmacies carrying mummies and the origins of the relic fraud.

Conclusion

This episode employs Concostrina’s sharp humor and skepticism to dismantle the myth-making around Joan of Arc, especially focusing on the farcical creation—and eventual scientific debunking—of her supposed relics. Listeners are left with a vivid sense of the political opportunism and institutional hypocrisy behind sainthood, and an entertaining look at one of history’s oddest relic scams.