Podcast Summary: "Acontece que no es poco | La conquista de Tenerife y el palizón guanche a los castellanos"
Host: Nieves Concostrina
Co-host: Carlas
Date: May 29, 2023
Podcast: Todo Concostrina, SER Podcast

Overview

This episode explores the relatively lesser-known history of the conquest of Tenerife, focusing on the dramatic and bloody conflict between the indigenous Guanche people and the invading Castilian forces. With Nieves Concostrina’s signature humorous and candid style, listeners journey through the gripping story of how the Guanches delivered a humiliating defeat to the Castilians in the first Battle of Acentejo, only to later lose everything due to disease and overwhelming force. The discussion also reflects on the enduring erasure of the Guanche people and the persistence of myths about the Spanish conquest of the Canary Islands.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Misconceptions About the Canary Islands and Spanish History

• Initial Reflection: Nieves notes that for many people in mainland Spain, the history of the Canary Islands is relatively unknown. The islands were not always part of Spain; each island had its own distinct identity and leadership.
• Common Tricky Question: "¿Cuándo se completó la conquista de las islas Canarias por parte de Castilla? ¿Antes o después de que Colón llegara a América?"
• Clarification: While it's widely assumed that the Canary Islands were part of Spain before Columbus's voyage, in 1492 only some islands were under Castilian control. If Columbus had landed in Tenerife, his voyage could have ended in disaster due to local resistance.
  • Quote [03:37]: "Si Colón llega a arrimarse a Tenerife en aquel agosto de 1492 que pasó por Canarias… de allí no sale un tripulante vivo." — Nieves

2. The Two Battles of Acentejo: "Matanza" and "Victoria"

• Setting the Scene: In northern Tenerife, two neighboring towns—La Matanza and La Victoria—commemorate the contrasting fates of the Castilians and Guanches.
• The First Battle (Matanza de Acentejo, May 29, 1494):
  • Commanded by Alonso Fernández de Lugo, the Castilian forces met a brutal defeat at the hands of the Guanches, who employed clever tactics and local knowledge.
  • Memorable Explanation [05:33]: “En La Matanza de Acentejo es donde los castellanos se llevaron un palizón de los guanches.” — Nieves
• The Second Battle (Victoria de Acentejo):
  • Although initially outmatched, the second wave of Castilian attacks coincided with a devastating epidemic among the Guanches. As a result, the Castilians were able to conquer Tenerife with relative ease.
  • Insight [06:38]: “Más que ganar los castellanos, más bien ganaron los virus.”

3. Tactics and Cultural Context

• Guanches’ Isolation and Disunity:
  • The Guanches did not have boats or navigational knowledge and were socially and politically isolated from other islands, which made it easier for conquerors to proceed island by island.
  • Commentary [06:10]: “No se hablaban. No conocían la navegación tampoco, no habían ido de visita a la de al lado.”
• Divide and Conquer: Castilians exploited the lack of unity, often converting and using local leaders from conquered islands to aid further invasions.
  • Quote [06:54]: “Lo que más ayudó a la conquista castellana fue la desunión. No hicieron frente común.”

4. Anecdotes and Humor

• Nieves’s Signature Style: The conversation is peppered with witty asides, from bad jokes about the "Islas Afortunadas" ("porque allí murió Franco una hora antes") to lighthearted remarks about local delicacies.
• Musical Interlude: The hosts briefly quote "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash, a playful addition to the narrative about fiery battles [07:59].

5. The Guanche Strategy and Triumph in the First Battle

• Lugo’s Overconfidence: Alonso Fernández de Lugo arrives expecting surrender. Instead, he is rebuffed by Bencomo, the Guanche leader.
  • Quote [09:20]: "Te vas a ir tú, tu dios y el dúo sacapuntas ese de Isabel y Fernando a tomar por donde amargan los pepinos."
• Clever Tactics: Guanches allow themselves to be raided for cattle, only to use the animals and traditional whistling ("silbo") to sow chaos and orchestrate a devastating ambush at Acentejo.
  • Insight [10:50]: "Los guanches esperaron que los invasores llegaran con las ovejas al barranco... y cuando estuvieron encajonados, los guanches llamaron con sus silbidos... ese desbarajuste lo aprovecharon para liarse a palos y pedradas."

6. The Role of Disease in the Final Downfall

• “La Modorra Guanche”: When the Castilians returned for a second assault, the Guanches had been decimated by an unknown epidemic, possibly brought by Europeans but never fully identified.
  • Quote [11:32]: “Los castellanos... llevaron a Tenerife un arma secreta, sin saber que la llevaban: la enfermedad."
  • Disease Symptoms [12:01]: "Vómitos, pústulas, modorra... hasta que se morían."
• Castilian Victory by Default: Weak from disease, the Guanches could not resist, leading to the ultimate conquest of the island by the Castilians.

7. Extinction and Legacy of the Guanches

• Complete Erasure:
  • The combination of disease, enslavement, killings, and mass suicides left not a single Guanche survivor.
  • Reflection [13:19]: “No queda un guanche. Entre los que murieron, los que fueron esclavizados y asesinados, y los que se suicidaron… no queda ni uno.”
• Historical Perspective: Nieves acknowledges the tragic past but notes the importance of remembering and understanding this history.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:37] Nieves: “Si Colón llega a arrimarse a Tenerife… de allí no sale un tripulante vivo y las tres carabelas las habrían hecho astillas.”
• [05:33] Nieves: “En La Matanza de Acentejo es donde los castellanos se llevaron un palizón de los guanches. Y en La Victoria de Acentejo es donde el palizón se lo llevaron los guanches en la segunda batalla.”
• [06:54] Nieves: “Lo que más ayudó a la conquista castellana fue la desunión.”
• [09:20] Nieves, simulando al líder guanche: "Te vas a ir tú, tu dios y el dúo sacapuntas ese de Isabel y Fernando a tomar por donde amargan los pepinos."
• [11:32] Nieves: “Los castellanos, al igual que hicieron en América, llevaron a Tenerife un arma secreta, sin saber que la llevaban: la enfermedad.”
• [13:19] Nieves: "Pues eso, que no queda ni uno [guanche]."

Timeline of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Event | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:15 | Introduction to the conquest of Tenerife | | 03:20 | Clarifying timing of conquest vs. Columbus's voyage | | 04:25 | Explanation of the two battles: Matanza and Victoria de Acentejo | | 06:06 | Lack of unity and navigation among the Canary islands' indigenous peoples | | 08:30 | Start of detailed recounting of the confrontation between Lugo and Bencomo | | 09:15 | Guanche refusal to surrender; display of local humor in dialogue paraphrase | | 10:11 | The clever trap at Acentejo; tactical use of cattle and silbo whistling | | 11:32 | The devastating impact of disease on the Guanches | | 13:00 | Reflection on the end of the Guanche people; mass death and suicides |

Tone and Final Thoughts

From start to finish, Nieves Concostrina’s wit and irreverence provide both entertainment and incisive critique. The episode is both a lively recounting and a solemn reminder of a tragic past that shaped the archipelago—providing listeners with new knowledge and a humanizing perspective on Tenerife’s fraught incorporation into Spain.

Final Reflection [13:19]:
"Sepamos también que no queda un guanche. Porque entre los que murieron por la enfermedad, los que fueron esclavizados y asesinados y los que se suicidaron, pues eso, que no queda ni uno." — Nieves

Useful for anyone curious about:

• The real story of the Canary Islands' conquest
• How warped perceptions and gaps in historical knowledge persist
• The tragic end of the original Guanche culture

[End of summary]