Podcast Summary: "La versallesca almorrana que dio pie al himno británico"

Podcast: Todo Concostrina
Host: Nieves Concostrina (Cadena SER)
Date: July 3, 2025
Episode: Acontece que no es poco

Overview

This lively episode of Todo Concostrina dives into one of history’s most curious butterfly effects: how the anal fistula (or "almorrana") of France’s King Louis XIV not only elevated the status of French surgeons but also, eventually, inspired the melody for “God Save the King/Queen,” the British national anthem. Through Nieves Concostrina’s trademark blend of humor, irreverence, and meticulously researched storytelling, listeners are guided through surgical drama at Versailles, the social hierarchy of barbers and surgeons, courtly music, and a tale of unintended consequences that links 17th-century French medical mishaps to a song now iconic in the UK.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Royal Fistula: Context, Surgery, and Documentation

• Thorough Medical Histories:

  • Louis XIV's health issues—especially his infamous anal fistula—were obsessively documented by his physicians.
  • Notable Quote:

    "Sus tres médicos dejaron un diario entre 1647 y 1711 donde especificaron el más mínimo detalle... Yo supongo que dejaron de apuntar cuatro años antes de que se muriera Luis XIV, porque a lo mejor ya es que ya no daban abasto a tomar apuntes con tanto achaque." (Nieves, 01:34)

• The First Operation:

  • The first major intervention was on November 18, 1686.
  • Nieves colorfully describes the scene:
    • The king positioned “con el culo en pompa” (“buttocks up”), facing the large window, surrounded by his ex-lover Madame de Maintenon, the Minister of War, four apothecaries, the royal confessor, and, of course, surgeons.
    • Notable Moment:

      "Estaba el ministro de la Guerra, no entiendo por qué, por si había que declararle la guerra a la fístula, no lo sé, pero bueno..." (Nieves, 02:44)

2. Social Impact: The Rise of the Surgeon

• From Barber to Surgeon:

  • The operation's success allowed Charles François Félix de Tassy (“Carlos Paco”) to become a medical celebrity.
  • The successful surgery helped elevate surgeons from the status of "barberos" (barbers) to recognized professionals.
  • Notable Quote:

    "Consiguió tras la operación... que los cirujanos dejaran de ser considerados unos carniceros y que se bajaran los médicos un poquito del pedestal al que se habían subido." (Nieves, 04:51)

• Institutional Changes:

  • Following de Tassy, surgeons like Georges Maréchal and François Giraud de La Peyronie continued the work of professionalizing surgery.
  • The Real Sociedad de Cirujanos de Francia was founded, leading to the 1743 decree giving surgeons equal status to physicians and incorporating surgery into medical schools.
  • Notable Point:

    "Así fue como el 23 de abril de 1743... se declaraba la igualdad en importancia y estatus de médicos y cirujanos." (Nieves, 06:38)

3. The Downside: Lethal Consequences

• Collateral Damage:

  • While Louis XIV survived, the operation (or its wider cultural ripple) had tragic side effects for others, such as the heroic Don Juan de Austria, who reportedly died from a botched hemorrhoid operation.
  • Notable Quote:

    "Este hombre fue derrotado por un almorrano. La operación salió regulinchi y murió. Héroe de Lepanto, pero lo mató una almorrana al pobre." (Nieves, 04:19)

• Jean Baptiste Lully’s Fate:

  • Lully, the king’s favorite composer and friend, died after accidentally stabbing his own foot while conducting with a metal-tipped staff—ironically, during a performance celebrating the king’s recovery from the fistula.
  • He refused amputation (“un bailarín no se deja cortar las piernas”) and succumbed to gangrene.
  • Notable Moment:

    "Estaba dirigiendo una orquesta que interpretaba un Te Deum en honor de la salud del rey y porque la almorrana ya era historia. Y ahí es cuando se clavó el bastón." (Nieves, 11:17)

4. From Versailles to London: The Birth of "God Save the King"

• Musical Origins:

  • Lully’s composition for Louis XIV, “Grand Dieu sauve le Roi,” became popular in France.
  • Composer Handel, visiting France in 1714, heard the tune and later adapted it for the British royal anthem, which became “God Save the King (or Queen).”
  • Notable Quote:

    "Es lo mismo exactamente, porque el original es francés. Gran Dios salva al Rey. Es una música que compuso Jean Baptiste Lully para una letra que le escribieron a Luis XIV para celebrar el restablecimiento del rey y la muerte de la almorrana." (Nieves, 13:20)

  • Memorable Moment:

    "En 1714... Händel escuchó esta musiquilla y se quedó con ella. Como Händel acabó empadronado en Londres... hizo unos arreglos y se lo ofreció al rey Jorge I, que acabó siendo el God Save the King." (Nieves, 13:36)

• Ironic Legacy:

  • The anthem remained in France until the monarchy fell. As Nieves wryly notes:

    "Se acabó el himno y todo claro... lo hemos decapitado y ya no lo salva ni Dios." (Nieves, 14:14)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Humor about the Surgery:

  "Solo desgranar es el verbo adecuado." (B, 02:24)
  A running joke on the double meaning of “desgranar” (to break something down, but also close to "defecate") given the anatomical subject matter.

• On Court Theater and the Birth of the “Roi Soleil”:

  "El rey era la luz que disipaba las tinieblas de la noche, la luz que anunciaba un nuevo día tras aplastar a los nobles rebeldes." (Nieves, 09:53)
  Explaining how Louis XIV became "the Sun King" through theater, not for being a Parisian luminary.

• On the French Ditching Their Royal Anthem:

  "Le dijeron a los franceses, le dijeron a los... oye, que os podéis quedar para siempre con el himno al King o a la Queen o a quien queráis, que nosotros tiramos ya por la República y ya no queremos que Dios salve al rey." (Nieves, 14:15)

Timestamps of Key Segments

• [01:01 – 02:32]: Context and dramatic scene of Louis XIV's operation
• [03:38 – 06:38]: Social consequences for French surgery and rise of the profession
• [07:24 – 08:01]: Downside—historical figures killed by their own almorranas
• [08:01 – 10:43]: Artistic court life and origins of “Rey Sol” nickname
• [10:43 – 12:21]: Lully’s fall from grace, accident, and death
• [12:58 – 14:15]: From Lully’s hymn to “God Save the King/Queen” and the anthem’s journey to Britain and back

Tone and Language

Nieves Concostrina narrates in her signature, witty, and irreverent style, blending erudition with colloquial humor. The banter between her and her co-host Carlos adds playfulness and warmth, making the medical and musical history of Versailles unexpectedly riveting.

Bottom Line

This episode cleverly reveals how a king’s embarrassing medical affliction set off a cultural and professional domino effect—upgrading surgery’s social status, inspiring musical masterpieces, and ultimately giving the UK its beloved anthem. As only Nieves Concostrina can, she stitches together medicine, music, and monarchical trivia, leaving listeners with the surprising reminder that even a royal almorrana can change world history.