Podcast Summary: Acontece que no es poco | Muere el rey (del porno) Alfonso XIII

Podcast: Todo Concostrina
Host: Nieves Concostrina (SER Podcast)
Date: February 28, 2023

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode features Nieves Concostrina’s trademark irreverent historical storytelling, focused on the death of Spain’s King Alfonso XIII—the so-called "king of porn." The discussion delves into the former monarch’s controversial life, his opulent and hypocritical funeral rituals, and the peculiar legacy he left behind, mixing caustic humor with sharp historical insight.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Alfonso XIII: The Playboy Monarch

• King since Birth: Concostrina reminds listeners that Alfonso XIII was king even in utero, highlighting the extravagant and scandalous dimensions of his reign and personal life.
• "King of Porn": Notably, Alfonso XIII was the first person to set up a pornographic film production company in Spain—an almost forgotten facet of his biography.
  "[Fue] impulsor de cine porno en España, que fue el primero que montó una productora de cine porno" (03:01, A)
• Scandals and Exile: Despite grand claims of patriotism, he was forced into exile for suspending the constitution, supporting a coup, and betraying Spain and his family.
  "Decía ser patriota pero apoyó un golpe de Estado. Decía ser patriota pero suspendió la Constitución. Decía ser patriota pero traicionó a España y a los españoles..." (02:47, A)

Death and Last Days

• Date and Cause of Death: He died on February 28, 1941, at age 54, after years of excess—alcohol, tobacco, parties, and women ("sexoadicto").
• Lonely Demise: Died in the suite of the luxurious Gran Hotel in Rome without his wife, country, or subjects ("Sin esposa, sin país, sin súbditos").
• Life Mirrors Death: His last moments were marked by ritualistic hypocrisy, demanding Catholic symbols and relics to aid his passage into the afterlife, despite his "gran pagano" life.
  "Se pasan la vida pecando, creyendo que montando un tinglado cristiano queda todo apañado ya para ir al cielo cada día" (01:15, A)

The Hypocritical Funeral Performance

• Ritual Excess: The room was converted into a makeshift chapel with multiple mantos of the Virgen del Pilar, relics, and priests rotating to say continuous masses. "El tinglado que se montó fue el hubo que enviar dos mantos de la Virgen del Pilar, el hábito de Gran Maestre, la bandera española... varios curas que se daban el relevo dando misa permanentemente en la suite, saquitos con tierra de todas las provincias españolas." (06:41, A)
• The Double Mantle Fiasco (09:52): Due to logistical delays, two mantles of the Virgen arrived at once, including one "bordado en oro con la corona real" and another "más chungo" used on other royal deaths. "La Virgen del Pilar tiene un fondo de armario más nutrido que la casa Dior... Allí en el Pilar. Y la cambian tanto de ropa como a una Barbie, que a veces se lían." (10:32, A)

Franco’s Hypocrisy

• Official Mourning in a Political Farce: Despite despising Alfonso XIII, Franco decreed three days of national mourning, organized funerals in each Spanish province, and ensured a well-funded send-off. "¿Quién pagaba todos esos caprichitos funerarios? ...yo estaría por asegurar que los españoles. Porque Franco decretó duelo nacional..." (08:31, A)
• Absurd State Pageantry: The treasury covered all funeral expenses for a king neither the dictator nor the country wanted back. Alfonso XIII was ultimately buried in Rome because Franco never wanted Borbones in Spain, not even dead. "...decía y leo salió publicada en la primera del ABC..., el Gobierno acordará las medidas necesarias para el traslado de los restos al panteón del Real Monasterio del Escorial. Franco no quería los Borbones en España ni muertos..." (13:12, A)

Comic and Memorable Moments

• Connecting Past and Present: Concostrina jokes that Alfonso XIII’s story sounds like that of Juan Carlos I, demonstrating how little has changed in the royal family. "Cualquier oyente que se haya enganchado ahora creerá que estamos hablando del fugitivo Juan Carlos. Pues no, estamos hablando de su abuelo Alfonso XIII. Pero bueno, la genética no perdona." (04:34, A)
• The Manto de la Virgen Superstition: With characteristic wit, Concostrina notes that the only effect of dying under the mantle is the same as "morirte bajo la seta de David el Gnomo. Ninguno. Nada." (08:12, A)

Notable Quotes & Time Stamps

• On Hypocrisy and Religion:
  "Las hipocresías están directamente unidas a las religiones, ya lo sabes." (01:37, A)
• On Alfonso XIII’s Reputation:
  "En la europea se le conocía como el rey playboy..." (04:22, A)
• On Pageantry:
  "Morirse bajo el manto de la Virgen del Pilar, que luego queda muy bien puesto en la esquela pero que tiene el mismo efecto que morirte bajo la seta de David el Gnomo. Ninguno. Nada." (08:12, A)
• On Continuity with Modern Royals:
  "La monarquía de este país no pasan las décadas..." (04:25, A)
• On Royal Fashion:
  "La Virgen del Pilar tiene un fondo de armario más nutrido que la casa Dior... la cambian tanto de ropa como a una Barbie." (10:32, A)
• On Franco’s Motives:
  "Fue por puro postureo, por manifestar un disimulado respeto a una figura que Franco despreciaba profundamente." (12:06, A)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• King’s Death & Hypocrisy: 01:06 – 03:30
• Political Betrayal and Legacy: 02:47 – 04:00
• Personal Vices and Final Days: 04:01 – 06:00
• Funeral Pageantry: 06:16 – 08:50
• The Double Virgin Mantle Story: 09:52 – 11:56
• Franco’s Mourning Decree & Burial: 12:06 – 14:43

Tone & Style

Concostrina delivers the episode with sharp, irreverent humor and historical precision, ridiculing royal hypocrisy and Spanish political absurdity while presenting facts with memorable anecdotes and pointed sarcasm.

Conclusion

This episode masterfully dissects the end of Alfonso XIII: a king whose licentious lifestyle and ignoble death in a Roman hotel suite become a symbol for a monarchy plagued by excess, religious hypocrisy, and political farce. Concostrina’s biting commentary ensures listeners not only learn the factual story but grasp its ongoing relevance and satirical undertones.

To hear more about the burial and aftermath, the host promises to continue the story in the next episode.