Podcast Summary:

Podcast: Todo Concostrina
Host: Nieves Concostrina (A), with co-host (B)
Episode: "Napoleón llega a Santa Elena"
Date: October 17, 2022
Duration Covered: [00:02]–[13:27]
Summary by: SER Podcast Summarizer

Main Theme and Purpose

This episode of Acontece que no es poco, with Nieves Concostrina, takes a closer look at the final years of Napoleon Bonaparte, focusing on his exile to the remote island of Saint Helena after his defeat at Waterloo. Emphasizing both the historical facts and the peculiarly irreverent tone characteristic of the show, Concostrina unpacks Napoleon’s dashed expectations, his monotonous routine, and the calculated cruelty of his captors in his forced retreat from the world stage.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Napoleon’s Expectations vs. Reality ([00:58]–[02:48])

• Napoleon initially believed, after his surrender, that he would live in comfortable, respectful confinement in England due to his status as a former ruler.
• The British, however, were determined to prevent another escape like the one from Elba.
• Instead of a cozy English estate, Napoleon was shipped off to Saint Helena, "a remote pile of rocks surrounded by cliffs" (A, [01:37]).
• The harsh conditions and unwelcoming environment immediately dashed his hopes:

  “Ni mucho menos. Fíjate que cuando Napoleón aceptó por fin que ya no podía seguir dando la turra al mundo… pensó que permanecería súper vigilado, pero viviendo confortablemente…” (A, [00:58]) “Le dijeron los british: te vamos a mandar a una isla muy chula de donde no vas a salir en los días de tu vida, pesado.” (A, [01:26])

2. The Harsh Reality of Saint Helena ([02:48]–[03:56])

• The island is depicted as bleak, cold, damp, and lonely; the house assigned to Napoleon was even infested with rats.
• The British made sure escape would be impossible:

  "Allí lo dejaron los británicos: 'Ahora vas y te escapas otra vez. La que nos hiciste en la isla de Elba no nos la vas a volver a hacer, solisto.'" (A, [02:57])

3. Attempts at Escape and Strict Surveillance ([03:56]–[05:43])

• Napoleon investigated his surroundings, trying to find possible escape routes, but the vigilance was intense.
• Contrasted to his previous exile on Elba, where he enjoyed relative luxury and autonomy (including the failed “Vuelo del Águila”/Flight of the Eagle escape), in Saint Helena he was subject to much stricter control.

  “Esta vez no iba a ser una simple deportación. Esta vez iba a ser una absoluta incomunicación.” (A, [05:37])

4. Napoleon’s Companions and Speculated Affairs ([05:45]–[07:42])

• Only a handful of loyalists accompanied Napoleon: a marshal, baron, count, and a general, with two wives among them.
• There were persistent rumors about Napoleon's affair with Madame Montolón, the wife of one of his companions; the birth of a daughter named Josephine Napoleone three years into the exile fanned these rumors.

  “Napoleón no reparaba en territorios, en mujeres ajenas. Que era el emperador.” (A, [06:13]) “La señora tuvo una hija tres años después… la niña se llamó Josephine Napoleone Montolón.” (A, [06:40])

• When Madame Montolón and her child left the island, Napoleon fell into a deep depression, accelerating his health’s decline.

5. Life with the Malicious Governor Sir Hudson Lowe ([07:42]–[10:06])

• The British purposely sent Sir Hudson Lowe, described as “el oficial más vengativo y con más mala leche” (the most vengeful and mean-spirited officer), to make Napoleon’s life miserable.
• Napoleon lost privileges (couldn’t wander freely), had his budget slashed, and was never addressed as “Emperor”—just “general.”

  “Nada de majestad. A usted se le trata de general y va que chuta. Como mucho lo podemos llamar Llamadme doña Elena, que decía ella.” (A, [09:20])

• The governor held a personal grudge, blaming Napoleon for the death of thousands of British soldiers at Waterloo.
• Even Napoleon’s companions were threatened with exile or death for any hint of escape planning.

6. Napoleon’s Downfall and Reflections ([10:06]–[13:15])

• The isolation, the relentless monitoring, and the inhospitable climate made the last years unbearable for Napoleon.
• His brother, José Bonaparte, refused to risk his own comfort in New Jersey for a rescue attempt.

  “José Bonaparte se instaló en su casoplón de Nueva Jersey a cuerpo de rey... bastante mal las había pasado en España por culpa de su hermano.” (A, [11:32])

• Napoleon lamented not dying gloriously in battle:

  “En Santa Elena, Napoleón echó de menos no haber muerto en algún campo de batalla con un poco de épica y esquivando balas. No, las putadas del gobernador.” (A, [12:22])

• One of Napoleon’s bleakest reflections during exile:

  “Cada día que pasa es solo una victoria sobre el tiempo, sobre nada más. Creo que voy a dormirme. Hoy será un día horrible.” (A, [12:54])

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On British Deception and Exile Location:

  "Le dijeron los british: te vamos a mandar a una isla muy chula de donde no vas a salir en los días de tu vida, pesado."
  (A, [01:26])

• On the Harshness of the Environment:

  “Es una isla que... no es más que un montón confuso de peñascos bordeados por acantilados.”
  (A, [01:37])

• On the Governor’s Vengeance:

  “Solo necesitamos que esté permanentemente cabreado para que fastidien a Napoleón todo lo que pueda. Y efectivamente, le fastidió. Pero bien.”
  (A, [07:31])

• On His Treatment in Exile:

  "Nada de majestad. A usted se le trata de general y va que chuta."
  (A, [09:18])

• Napoleon’s Own Words on His Fate:

  "Cada día que pasa es solo una victoria sobre el tiempo, sobre nada más. Creo que voy a dormirme. Hoy será un día horrible."
  (A, [12:54])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:58] – Explanation of Napoleon’s expectations post-Waterloo
• [01:26] – Description of British plans for Napoleon's final exile
• [03:56] – Attempts and futility of escape from Saint Helena
• [05:45] – List of loyal companions and rumor of affair
• [07:42] – Introduction of Governor Sir Hudson Lowe
• [08:38] – Details about Napoleon’s monotonous daily life
• [09:18] – Insistence on disallowing imperial titles
• [11:30] – Discussion of José Bonaparte’s inaction
• [12:54] – Napoleon’s bleak personal reflections

Conclusion

This episode utilizes Nieves Concostrina’s engaging and witty analysis to bring history alive, revealing not only the harshness of Napoleon’s last years but also how the consequences of political downfall can be lonely and deeply humiliating. The historical facts are enlivened by rumors, colorful expressions, and a critical look at the personalities involved, all while maintaining the host’s trademark blend of rigor and irreverence.