Podcast Summary

Todo Concostrina – “¿Quién da la vez para asesinar a Pizarro?”

Host: Nieves Concostrina (with Carlas Francino)
Date: June 26, 2023
Podcast: SER Podcast – Acontece que no es poco

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode offers Nieves Concostrina’s characteristically sharp and irreverent historical analysis. She explores the dramatic assassination of Francisco Pizarro, the infamous conquistador of Peru, delving into the brutal politics, betrayals, and vendettas underpinning his violent end. Through witty storytelling and biting commentary, Concostrina revisits the dirty business of the Spanish conquest, focusing on the greed, envy, and rivalry that ultimately led to Pizarro’s death “a lo bestia” (in brutal fashion).

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Who Writes History? (01:08–01:29)

• The hosts reflect on historical narrative and partial truths:
  • “La verdad es la primera víctima de la guerra y al final los que ganan son los que escriben la historia.”
    — Nieves Concostrina [01:16]

2. Pizarro’s Rise and Betrayal of Atahualpa (01:29–04:09)

• Pizarro amassed history’s greatest treasure in gold, which Atahualpa, the captured Incan emperor, delivered as ransom, only to be executed anyway:
  • “Pizarro lo engañó. Le dijo: ‘Si me entregas tanto oro, te dejo en libertad’. Atahualpa entregó seis toneladas de oro y Pizarro se lo cargó. A eso se le llama tener palabra.”
    — Nieves Concostrina [01:59]
• Nieves critiques the hypocrisy and brutality of the conquest, noting how Atahualpa was baptised before execution to make his death supposedly “less painful.”

3. The Envy and Fallout over Gold Distribution (04:36–06:28)

• Tensions boiled over between the Pizarristas (Pizarro’s men) and Almagristas (followers of Diego de Almagro), a pivotal division among the conquerors:
  • Pizarro and his brothers took the largest share; Almagro’s men arrived too late for a cut.
  • Carlos V (the King) reinforced divisions, naming Pizarro supreme leader while sidelining Almagro.

4. Seeds of Revenge: Almagro’s Discontent and Execution (06:28–09:00)

• After a disastrous campaign in Chile, Almagro returned empty-handed, seized Cuzco, but was outmaneuvered, captured, and executed by Pizarro’s faction—sowing deep resentment and thirst for vengeance.

5. Warning Signs and Family Counsel (09:00–10:36)

• Hernando Pizarro, before returning to Spain, warned his brother Francisco not to allow more than ten Almagristas ('los de Chile') within 50 leagues, foreseeing assassination plans.
  • “No consienta vuestra señoría que estos de Chile se junten diez en cincuenta leguas alrededor de donde vuestra señoría estuviera, porque si los deja juntar, le han de matar.”
    — Hernando Pizarro, cited by Nieves [09:20]

6. The Assassination of Pizarro — “A lo bestia” (10:36–12:26)

• The murder was brazen and brutal: On June 26, 1541, after skipping mass—possibly fearing a public attack—Pizarro was ambushed in his Lima mansion.
  • The attackers stormed in, shouting “¡Muerte al traidor!” [11:08]
  • Most guests and servants fled; Pizarro received multiple sword wounds, two of them fatal.
  • He drew a cross in his own blood, prayed for confession, and asked for water—the latter offer met with a jug smashed over his head and a curse to “drink water in hell” from one assailant, Barragán.

7. Aftermath, Forensic Ironies, and Documentation (12:26–13:48)

• The killing was so well-documented, “hasta el más mínimo detalle de la tráquea,” that later studies of Pizarro’s remains could match wounds to historical accounts.
• Many attackers, unable to land a blow, dipped their swords in Pizarro's blood to claim they’d participated.
• An additional twist: the body revered at Lima Cathedral was misidentified for centuries; the true fate of his remains is "for another episode."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On History’s Bias:
  “La verdad es la primera víctima de la guerra y al final los que ganan son los que escriben la historia.”
  — Nieves Concostrina [01:16]

• On the Nature of the Killing:
  “A lo bestia, a lo bestia, fue tremendo. ... Eran tantos los que querían matarlo... Tuvieron que coger número, como en la charcutería.”
  — Nieves Concostrina [01:59–02:44]

• On the Morality of the Conquest:
  Quoting Peter Brook, shared by Carlas:
  “El bien y el mal son los conceptos más ridículos que existen... la religión es la salsa que baña todo aquello que significa destrucción en el mundo.”
  — Peter Brook, cited by Carlas Francino [04:09]

• Epic Forensic Detail:
  “La de Pizarro debe ser una de las muertes más documentadas de la historia, o sea, hasta el más mínimo detalle de la tráquea.”
  — Carlas Francino [12:26]

• On the Afterlife of His Remains:
  “Hasta finales del siglo pasado tuvieron a un tipo enterrado en la Catedral de Lima, ... haciéndose pasar por Pizarro. No era él, porque era un tipo cuchimizado absolutamente. ... Resulta que el que había dentro se había muerto como poco de un catarro. ¿Dónde le eches está Pizarro?”
  — Nieves Concostrina [13:27]

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:16] — Discussion on bias in historical narrative.
• [01:59] — Account of Atahualpa’s ransom and murder.
• [04:09] — Quotation about religion and destruction.
• [06:28] — The split between Pizarro and Almagro factions.
• [09:00] — Hernando Pizarro’s prescient warning.
• [10:42] — Detailed narration of Pizarro’s assassination.
• [12:26] — Discussion on the documentation and identification of Pizarro’s remains.

Episode Tone & Style

Vivid, ironic, and direct, Nieves Concostrina combines rigorous historical research with biting, popular commentary, mocking both the hypocrisy and the violence surrounding the conquest. Her frank delivery, black humor, and sharp anecdotes make the retelling as engaging as it is enlightening, never shying away from the grotesque or absurd.

For Further Listening

The discovery and real resting place of Francisco Pizarro’s remains will be tackled in a future episode.