Todo Concostrina: "Sobre las hojas de parra y los peligrosos mojigatos"

Host: Nieves Concostrina | SER Podcast | September 14, 2023

Overview

In this engaging and irreverent episode, Nieves Concostrina delves into the historical and cultural phenomenon of censoring nudity in art—particularly the obsession with covering genitalia using “hojas de parra” (“fig leaves”). Drawing on her signature blend of wit, critique, and historical insight, Nieves traces the roots of this prudish practice, exposes its absurdities, and recounts some of the art world’s most memorable censorship scandals—from the Renaissance to the present day.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Modern Censorship and Continual Prudery

• [01:18] Nieves starts by referencing a recent (April 2023) incident in Florida, where a school director was fired for showing art students images of Michelangelo’s David and Botticelli’s Venus. Some parents accused her of “using pornography,” sparking debates on prudishness and parental control over class content.

  • Quote:

    "A ver, que estos padres son idiotas. Pues no hace falta explicarlo, se nota, se huele."
    — Nieves Concostrina [01:48]

• Nieves connects this to a broader historical pattern, highlighting the danger “mojigatos” (prudes) pose as censors: their actions, while sometimes laughable, are socially harmful.

2. The “Fig Leaf” Myth—A Botanical Correction

• [04:08] Nieves clarifies that most art depicts Adam and Eve covering themselves with fig leaves or, occasionally, other botanicals—not vine leaves (“parra”) as commonly believed. This error is rooted in historical confusion.

  • Quote:

    "Cuando un tonto coge una linde, la linde se acaba y el tonto sigue. Y parece que todos hemos pillado la linde de hablar de hojas de parra cuando no son de parra."
    — Nieves Concostrina [04:09]

• She points out that Biblical references (Genesis 3:7) specifically mention fig leaves.

• Anecdotes on artistic license: Some artists, like Durero, used apple branches, tying it back to the supposed “apple” eaten by Eve—though the Bible never explicitly states it was an apple.

3. Artistic and Religious Obsessions with Nudity

• [06:28] The Genesis story is read verbatim: Adam and Eve, realizing their nakedness, “entrelazaron hojas de higuera” (wove fig leaves together) to cover themselves.
• The episode traces how different epochs and authorities (notably the Catholic Church) demanded that artists physically or visually “cover up” nude figures in both sculpture and painting.

4. Major Censorship Scandals in Art History

a. The Sistine Chapel’s “Braguetone” Additions

• [07:08] The most infamous example: The Last Judgment by Michelangelo in the Sistine Chapel.
  • Post-Council of Trent, censorship was enforced by Pope Paul IV, who tasked Daniele da Volterra (“Il Braghettone”) with painting over genitals and buttocks:
    • Quote:

      "Por eso el hombre que lo pintó, este hombre se le conoce como el Braguetone."
      — Nieves Concostrina [07:43]

  • Initially 22 “calzones” (breeches) were painted; later popes added more. Today, only the original XVI-century covers remain as historical testimony.
    • Quote:

      "Con la mala leche que gastaba Miguel Ángel, si pilla el calzones este, a los papás les falta Vaticano para correr."
      — Nieves Concostrina [08:38]

b. Michelangelo’s David and Queen Victoria

• [09:05] Even the renowned David has been targeted. In Florence, it was once exhibited with a fig leaf; but the real extravaganza came with a full-scale plaster cast sent to Queen Victoria. Upon seeing a 5-meter nude in her museum, she fainted; and the director had a one-meter fig leaf fashioned—secured with hooks in case of royal visits.
  • Quote:

    "La reina vio aquel tío de 5 metros de alto y en pelotas, le dio un pataflus."
    — Nieves Concostrina [09:27]

c. Other Notable Cases: Apollo and Oscar Wilde’s Tomb

• [10:41] The Apollo Belvedere in the Vatican had a fig leaf affixed on papal orders, removed only in the 20th century.
• The tomb of Oscar Wilde, sculpted by Jacob Epstein, faced religious outrage because the angel’s genitalia were visible. After much protest, a fig leaf was added—until furious Christian ladies one day smashed it with canes, damaging the sculpture irreparably.
  • Quote:

    "Yo creo que era para ver lo que había debajo, pero bueno, rompieron la hoja y desgraciaron todo lo de debajo."
    — Nieves Concostrina [12:06]

  • Nieves quips that had the Bible writers considered noses shameful, we’d be wearing underwear on our heads.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On censorship and prudery:

  "Los mojigatos son muy ridículos y la verdad es que esto daría mucha risa si no fuera porque esos mojigatos son censores y por tanto muy peligrosos, mucho para la convivencia y para el progreso."
  — Nieves Concostrina [02:12]

• On the “paño de pureza” (modesty cloth):

  "Yo no sé qué les pasa a esto los curas del Escorial, les pone nerviosos ver penes de mármol."
  — Nieves Concostrina [03:32]

• On biblical inspiration and artistic interpretation:

  "En ningún sitio se habla de manzanas. Y que luego, fíjate que la mala Pécora hizo que la mordiera Adán, porque las mujeres son malísimas."
  — Nieves Concostrina [05:16]

• On the Oscar Wilde tomb incident:

  "Si les hubiera dado a los guionistas por inventarse que en vez de la entrepierna lo impúdico son las narices, ahora llevaríamos bragas y calzoncillos en la cabeza para taparnos la nariz."
  — Nieves Concostrina [12:21]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:18 — Modern censorship in schools; Florida incident
• 04:08 — The origin (and error) of the “hoja de parra” myth
• 06:28 — Genesis reference: Adam & Eve and fig leaves
• 07:08 — Sistine Chapel & “Il Braghettone”
• 09:05 — Michelangelo’s David, Queen Victoria, and the giant fig leaf
• 10:41 — Apollo Belvedere and the fig leaf
• 11:20 — Oscar Wilde’s tomb and the destructive prudery

Tone and Style

Nieves Concostrina’s commentary is as entertaining as it is enlightening, mixing irreverence, sharp social critique, and humor. Her ability to draw contemporary parallels to historical events brings the topic to life, inviting listeners to reflect on the absurdity—and dangers—of censorship both past and present.

Summary prepared for those seeking the historical curiosities, cultural critique, and memorable storytelling that define "Acontece que no es poco" with Nieves Concostrina.