Podcast Summary: "Acontece que no es poco | Versalles o la contemplación de ‘le roi’ repollo"

Podcast: Todo Concostrina
Host: Nieves Concostrina (SER Podcast)
Date: January 29, 2024

Overview

In this engaging and characteristically irreverent episode, Nieves Concostrina and co-host Carlos explore the day-to-day ceremonial life of Louis XIV, the “Sun King,” nicknamed here as “el rey repollo” (the cabbage king) for his ostentation and flair for spectacle. Through rich anecdotes and playful banter, they dissect not only the absurdities of royal protocol in Versailles but also reflect on the persistence of such rituals among monarchies, highlighting both their historical significance and their comic excesses.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction: The Ceremonial Meaning of "Levantar" (To Get Up)

• Contextual Play: The episode opens with a meditation on how the verb “levantar” changes meaning in a royal context: “Lo que para la mayoría no pasa de ser un movimiento físico... para un rey... se convirtió en sinónimo de exhibicionismo, de ceremonial y de cursilería.” (Carlos, 00:17)
• Setting the Scene: Nieves previews a detailed examination of a day in the life of Louis XIV, contrasting him with the more “mundane” routines of Spanish Bourbons.

2. A Day in the Life of Louis XIV — The “Three-Ring Circus”

• Ceremony of Le Lever du Roi (The King’s Rising)

  • Begins at 8:30 AM sharp. The first valet wakes the king: "Lo señor, es la hora" (Nieves, 03:58).
  • The ritual: washing, dressing (with elaborate wigs, lace, and ribbons), prayer; all in front of dozens of waiting courtiers who jockeyed for the privilege to enter by rank.
  • Notable moment: Even private acts, such as Louis XIV's hemorrhoid surgery, occurred semi-publicly—“incluso en aquel incómodo momento, 10 personas, incluida su amante favorita, contemplaron al rículo en pompa.” (Nieves, 02:23)
  • Memorable quote: “El levantamiento del rey duraba una hora... e inmediatamente después de tenerlo preparadico, a rezar.” (Nieves, 04:24)

• The King’s “Meeting Room”: The Throne, The Toilet, The Ches Percée

  • Louis XIV held audiences while sitting on a commode, “la ches percée”—a special chair with a hole. (Nieves, 05:44)
  • Duration: about 30 minutes, mostly for the sake of ritual, not biological necessity.
  • Notable quote: “Mientras el rey estaba sentado en el váter... él recibía a la gente y despachaba.” (Carlos, 05:44)

• Comparison with Modern Protocols

  • “Los hay incluso hoy... absolutamente ridículos, de verdad. Pero el absurdo ceremonial de Versalles lo impuso Luis XIV, medido al minuto y sin que nadie se lo saltara, ni familia ni príncipes.” (Nieves, 06:16)
  • The discipline and regularity were such that, according to the Duke of Saint-Simon, observers could know “a 300 leguas de distancia, con exactitud lo que está haciendo el rey” (Nieves, 06:46).

3. Public Mornings, Private Indulgences

• Daily Mass: After dressing, Louis XIV would proceed to the chapel, followed by courtiers, for a daily mass (08:35).

  • “Ese pecador, fornicador, adúltero, mal samaritano, déspota y gran soberbio... era cristianísimo.” (Nieves, 09:00)
  • Five days a year, he would take communion, accompanied by the ceremony of "tocar las escrófulas" (healing the king’s evil). Nieves promises to return to this in a future episode.

• Work and Lunch (Le Petit Couvert):

  • The morning after mass involved work with ministers, often around a large table with everyone in wigs.
  • Lunch was eaten alone but with doors open so the public could admire him: “Había que verlo.” (Nieves, 10:17)
  • Oddly minimalist on breakfast: “Este a lo mejor era el de los intermitentes... unas infusiones de salvia o verónica.” (Nieves, 10:29)

• Leisure and Excess in the Afternoon:

  • After-lunch activities included strolling through Versailles’ gardens, hunting, enjoying art (he reportedly kept the Mona Lisa at Versailles), trying on wigs, visiting lovers, or playing games—always surrounded by dozens or even hundreds of courtiers.
  • Notable quote: “Las tardes eran muy variadas y muy divertidas. Y todo esto con mogollón de gente alrededor.” (Nieves, 12:37)

4. Evening: The Grand Display

• Dinner (Le Grand Couvert):

  • Served at 10 PM; the king dined mostly alone.
  • The meal: Multiple soups, salads, roasts, desserts, and fruits, with dozens of staff and privileged guests present as admiring spectators.
  • “En Versalles había 324 personas cocinando solo para el rey... diariamente un despliegue alucinante.” (Nieves, 13:39)
  • “Durante la cena... lo miraran y lo admiraran, y decenas de criados... probando todo para que nada estuviera envenenado.” (Nieves, 13:48)

• The "Coucher du Roi" (The King's Bedtime):

  • End-of-day ritual: Dressed for bed, seated again on his velvet commode, flanked by privileged courtiers.
  • Notable quote: “Le ponían el camisón, lo sentaban otra vez en el retrete de terciopelo y también aquí daba el privilegio a algún cortesano de acompañarlo, por ejemplo, sujetando el candelabro mientras lo desvestían.” (Nieves, 14:22)

5. Closing Reflection: The Absurdity and Legacy of Royal Protocol

• The public nature of royal life has greatly diminished; now discretion is prized. Concostrina wryly notes modern monarchs’ “postureo de la austeridad”—pretending simplicity before the cameras.
• “Ahora han suprimido toda exposición pública porque cuanto más desapercibidos pasen, mucho mejor para ellos...” (Nieves, 14:47)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Royal Protocol:
  “El absurdo ceremonial de Versalles lo impuso Luis XIV... medido al minuto y sin que nadie se lo saltara, ni familia ni príncipes.” (Nieves, 06:16)

• On Public Privacy:
  “Mientras el rey estaba sentado en el váter... él recibía a la gente y despachaba.” (Carlos, 05:44)

• On Royal Meals:
  “Si, ese era el almuerzo flojo, es un almuerzo flojo comparado con lo que venía por la noche, que era le grand couvert.” (Nieves, 10:52)

• On Monarchical Absurdity:
  “Hay que contarlo despacito...” (Nieves, 09:28, referring to the ritual of touching the scrofula)

• Final Reflection:
  “Y esa era la dura vida de un rey. ¿Ya no son así? Ya no...” (Nieves, 14:29)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction to the Topic / King Repollo: 00:10–02:40
• Luis XIV’s Morning Ritual: 03:56–05:49
• The Toilet as Audience Chamber: 05:44–06:50
• Royal Rituals Explained / Protocols Now and Then: 06:00–08:00
• Morning Mass and Ministerial Work: 08:35–10:17
• Dining Ritual and Leisure: 10:23–12:57
• Evenings, Festivities, and Grand Couvert: 13:08–14:22
• Closing Reflection on Modern Royals: 14:47–end

Tone & Style

Consistent with Nieves Concostrina’s witty, colloquial style, the episode blends historical detail with a humorous, sometimes irreverent tone. The banter between Carlos and Nieves, references to contemporary “postureo,” and analogies to modern monarchy make the podcast both informative and entertaining.

Perfect for listeners fascinated by history's eccentricities, the quirks of monarchy, or anyone who enjoys a good story told with wit, rigor, and a healthy dose of skepticism.