← Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ?
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- [00:00]
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- [00:27]
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Eggland's Best Announcer
For my family, I'm always at my best. That's why I also want the best in my kitchen. And that means only Eggland's Best eggs. They're always so fresh tasting and delicious, with 6 times more vitamin D, 10 times more vitamin E, and 25% less saturated fat than ordinary eggs. So why give your family less when they can have the best? Eggland's Best Better taste, better nutrition, better eggs. For added convenience, look for our hard cooked, peeled eggs.
- [01:36]
Tony Mantour
Welcome to why Not Me? Embracing Autism and Mental Health Worldwide hosted by Tony Mantour, broadcasting from the heart of Music City, usa, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests share their raw, powerful stories. Some will spark laughter. Others will move you to tears. These real life journeys inspire, connect, and remind you that you're never alone. We're igniting a global movement to empower everyone to make a lasting difference by fostering deep awareness, unwavering acceptance, and profound understanding of autism and mental health. Tune in, be inspired, and join us in transforming the world one story at a time. Hi, I'm Tony Mantour. Welcome to why Not Embracing Autism and Mental Health Worldwide. Before we jump in, if you haven't already, tap the follow button. It takes two seconds and it helps more families that need to hear these conversations. Joining us today is Liam Edward Golder. His autistic journey did not begin in childhood with a clear roadmap. It unfolded later in his life. Not only did he find out later in life, but his father was diagnosed autistic at age 70. This conversation is about what happens when clarity arrives late, how it can bring relief, grief, validation and healing all at the same time. It's about seeing your parent and yourself through a new lens. He has a great story to tell. So before we dive into our episode, we'll be back with an uninterrupted show right after a word from our sponsors
- [03:26]
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- [03:58]
Eggland's Best Announcer
For my family, I'm always at my best. That's why I also want the best in my kitchen. And that means only Egglin's Best eggs. They're always so fresh tasting and delicious with 6 times more vitamin D, 10 times more vitamin E and 25% less saturated fat than ordinary eggs. So why give your family less when they can have the best Egglands best? Better taste, better nutrition, better eggs. For added convenience, look for our hard cooked peeled eggs.
- [04:26]
Tony Mantour
Thanks for joining us today.
- [04:28]
Liam Edward Golder
No, I appreciate you asking me on this. It's amazing. Really, really excited.
- [04:32]
Tony Mantour
Yes. Great to have you on. You just mentioned you recently discovered you are autistic. If you would tell us a little bit about that.
- [04:41]
Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, yeah. What it is. I basically, I've got family with autism. Basically my dad, I'll go more into that as well. But my dad got diagnosed late with autism and Asperger's syndrome and my nephew as well, autism. And it didn't occur to me really that I had it as well, you know. And then I started to notice patterns and things and part of the show and the build up of different things that have happened actually led me to realize I basically have got it as well. So it's because mine is actually a lot to do with creativity. Mine actually I see as a strength which I've realized rather than trying to be seen as a weakness or worry or something to be, you know, concerned about. It's Led me to the world of creativity through my music, you know, through having a career full time job in music, you know, 30 years in music as a number one songwriter and singer and promoter for different celebrity artists as well and all these things. But my creative brain, because of the autism and I've got ADHD as well to add to it. But it's basically I realized that my creative brain and my ideas and the way I look at the world differently has really helped with the music, you know, and helping others with the songs. And it's a strength. You know, some ideas I get very easily. I get words very easily in my head. Very. I've got like a photographic memory. I could write a song just from scratch on the spot. So fan, you know, and helping say working in music and that creative aspect of that. And I realized through the family. So I probably got it through the generation of my own dad.
- [06:06]
Tony Mantour
How long ago was it when you found out that your dad was autistic?
- [06:11]
Liam Edward Golder
It probably was about, roughly about 10 years ago because he was diagnosed really late. He wasn't diagnosed until he was about probably 70.
- [06:18]
Tony Mantour
Oh, wow. Okay.
- [06:20]
Liam Edward Golder
And he'd been living with this for so long and you know, his mannerisms are very drawn. Like I can be. I can look quite straight faced and he looks very expressionist at times and does doesn't, you know, he doesn't understand what's going on sometimes and see, he doesn't understand emotions sometimes. Mine's different way I get it is different.
- [06:36]
Tony Mantour
You both have a certain thing in common is that you both have been diagnosed autistic later in life.
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Liam Edward Golder
Yeah.
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Tony Mantour
With that said, what are some of the similar things that you see you both have in common, similar friends?
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Liam Edward Golder
I think it can be quite both. Both of us can be withdrawn. I mean in certain situations I'm very like, dad will be on his own a lot and he will be in his own mind, on his own faults. And I get that sometimes as well. I can be very much great in crowds even though I work in music and I love music and stuff. We're both not that great in crowds and loud noises.
- [07:13]
Tony Mantour
I can totally understand that.
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Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, you know, the headphones and all that stuff. I lose myself the headphones quite a lot.
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Tony Mantour
When you learn that your dad was autistic, did that lead you down the path to questioning about yourself at all?
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Liam Edward Golder
A bit at the time, but I was very lost in his diagnosis. I got very lost in that at the time. I used to look at autism very differently and the symptoms and things. And I think there's that stereotype of what autism is or how it should be or what people think it is, you know, sometimes, because he's like a quite a version of me, I didn't think as much about myself at the time. I thought more about him. But as time went on, I started noticing things in myself, like menus I find really hard to read. I feel very overwhelmed. I started noticing, especially in New York over the years, every time there's a menu, I was overwhelmed with trying to look at this menu. To me, it looks like an atlas. I'm, like, completely overwhelmed with it. It just feels like so much information.
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Tony Mantour
I'm curious. Everyone has their perception of what they think autism is.
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Liam Edward Golder
Yeah.
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Tony Mantour
Yeah. So what were your perceptions of what you think autism was? And then when your father was diagnosed, did it change your perception at all?
- [08:22]
Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, I even worked in autism, but I used to always think it was just a vagueness, you know, not responding to other human emotions and being very cut off from the world and things. I used to just think that. And then I realized it wasn't just that. There was so much more to it, you know, as well as seeing shapes or hearing sounds or processing things differently in people and not always recognizing people's emotions or things, which he does a lot. He doesn't recognize people's emotions sometimes. And you have to remind him. And they go, oh, all right. Oh, yeah. Oh, they're thinking that that person is thinking this and they're upset about this or they're worried about this. You go, oh, are they? Oh, well, I sort of. I can register it sometimes. I don't always register it, but that was one of the friends. But bright lights as well. I noticed even in supermarkets, bright lights would get me a bit like in the shops, you know, the bright lights, or I've been in the bathroom and that sort of thing. Or like that. But I say the big thing for me has been music. My big obsession is music. And I always was stuck on a lot on one subject, which has been
- [09:15]
Tony Mantour
that when you learned of your diagnosis of being autistic, did you get that through a therapist? And then once it was confirmed that you truly are autistic, what went through your mind? What were some of the first thoughts that you were thinking with your new diagnosis?
- [09:32]
Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, it was like a therapist years ago in the beginning. And then I recently found out more about it since the show. And I thought to myself, but when I found out and it was, like, confirmed, I was like, well, actually, it makes sense now. I always felt a bit weird Sometimes I felt very different from the world a lot. I always felt I didn't fit into a lot of situations and always felt a bit odd or just very different. And I could never understand why apart from the adhd. And then I thought, oh, you know, because I say photographic memory and I can remember like loads of numbers and. But I remember feeling actually quite relieved and happy that I actually found. Oh, that makes sense. You know, that makes sense. Now I feel relieved and I said, surely I feel now that I can use it as a strength.
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Tony Mantour
Sure. Now did you tell anyone? Yeah, perfect. Now who did you tell? And of course what was their reaction to the diagnosis?
- [10:19]
Liam Edward Golder
Well, my partner, my family and they said, yeah, of course that makes, that makes perfect sense as well because some of the things that, you know, I've always been good with numbers and remembering words and having this sort of being able to memorize things like what a lot of people would forget about. I just keep remembering all these like a number plate from 30 years ago, my dad's car and stuff like that. The big thing for me has been the music focus, like hyper focus on, on that. You know, I've worked to say 30 years in music helping others and famous people and it's not held me back, you know. You know, my mind feels very busy at times and there's a lot to process. It's made me with a creative level of things that excel really I think. And I'm not seeing it as a barrier. They say I work with all different celebrity artists and music artists and write songs for them and promote them and I'm side acts as well, you know, and it's a daily, it's full time job and you know, potentially working with like Hot Chocolate band from the uk, lots of other people like Wu Tang Clan potentially and lots of big names, you know, like say Lincoln park and I've done before Adele and stuff. So.
- [11:20]
Tony Mantour
Did you ever feel like you as a translator for your father to other people?
- [11:24]
Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, yeah, sometimes it has felt like a translator. Yeah. Because I've had to sort of be a messenger so fan.
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Tony Mantour
Yeah. Because he was autistic and still trying to comprehend things.
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Liam Edward Golder
Autistic and he's got. Yeah and he's also got paranoid personality disorder just to add to it. So that obviously has been a challenge as well. He thought someone was trying to trick him or against him or something. You know, someone like our old dog, a pet dog, he'd think that they were trying to take the dog or something and I'd have to, you know, reassure him and say, no, they're not trying to take the dog. They just. They're just saying hello to the dog. It's all good intentions, you know?
- [11:55]
Tony Mantour
Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. When you found out your father was autistic and then later realized you were autistic too, did that change how you understood him? Did it help you separate his struggles from his strengths and see them through a different lens? Was there ever a moment where you thought he wasn't being distant or difficult, he was just being overwhelmed?
- [12:19]
Liam Edward Golder
Absolutely, yeah. I realized why he struggled throughout his life, you know, and I realized why he was so withdrawn and why he found it hard to communicate with people. It all sort of clicked into place that he was the reason why Harry was, you know, but he wouldn't react to certain situations at all.
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Tony Mantour
Right now, after his late diagnosis, did you notice any shift in him, almost like a weight being lifted off his shoulders? Did having that understanding give him relief and, of course, some clarity in his life?
- [12:52]
Liam Edward Golder
I think so. I think so, because I think he'd always. He'd always been like, asking questions and thinking a similar thing, why he felt different, why he couldn't engage in connections easily, which I think I've struggled with in my life. I struggled to connect to people and have conversations and really sort of to feel understood as well. So I was not really feeling that. Not really feeling understood. I think it's. It's a lot to do that as well. And he definitely felt different. And you could say to him, you could say, well, there's a fire outside or something, which it wasn't. And it just. It just go, oh. He wouldn't actually really anticipate a danger or worry or fear. You know, he wouldn't. He wouldn't pick up on something to worry about. He just think, oh, well, now, you
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Tony Mantour
say that you are originally from England, correct?
- [13:35]
Liam Edward Golder
Yes. Yeah. Originally from London.
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Tony Mantour
Now, how long have you been here?
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Liam Edward Golder
Well, I've been in New York for four years. Four years.
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Tony Mantour
Okay. So have you noticed a difference in how people have reacted from where you were in England to the people that you deal with on a continued basis here in New York? Have you noticed a difference or has it been about the same reaction in both areas?
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Liam Edward Golder
Well, not. Not yet, as such, because I've not gone into detail with all family in New York, but partner, apart from that, I've actually just been going through the. Some fabric uk and they were just, you know, just supportive, really, and just was like, wow, this is just what it is. We actually understand. And they went oh, yeah, because you've always been like. They said. They said to me, oh, you've always been really good with numbers. You've always been really good at words and songwriting and super focused on the music. Like that really tunneled on it. And I said, yeah, because I could. For a long time. I used to think, why am I so heavily focused on music all the time? Like, constant. Yeah, my whole brain is going through it all day long. On subject, of course, I do think of other things were important, you know, like love and other things. I have porn things. But the music is always, like, there and it's continually running and. But I was like, why music? Like, why can't I think about something else or do something else? You know, I was really, like, trying to battle that sometimes.
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Tony Mantour
Is there any part of you that kind of resisted your diagnosis, possibly because of what you witnessed growing up with your dad?
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Liam Edward Golder
Oh, I actually embraced it.
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Tony Mantour
Awesome.
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Liam Edward Golder
I had a sense of comfort in it, actually, because I thought, well, now that gives me the answers of why I was, you know, some of the questions I had about different things and thinking, why do I. Why am I important words and why do I import these numbers? And, you know, I remember people's like, date of births very easily or star signs very easily or details about their. They tell me something, can I remember it? And they go, how do you remember that? When my parents got married, they told me once and I remembered and they said they was like, oh, wow, you remember that church. And yeah, I say with the songs, I can just read off a song and like, normally I could just. I could. I could do a song live and just like, literally write a whole song.
- [15:43]
Tony Mantour
Have you had any stressors, meltdowns? Have that affected you in any way at all? Burnout?
- [15:49]
Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, I think I've had mental burnouts, I think, where I've worked so hard and I'm getting so many ideas because my. My brain is very creative, so get so many creative ideas mixed with the ADHD as well. And anxiety. I've had bouts of anxiety in my life. I think sometimes your brain can feel a bit overloaded, you know?
- [16:07]
Tony Mantour
Yeah, yeah, I can. Now, how do you deal with it if you have some anxiety coming on, how do you put yourself in a position of where you can deal with it?
- [16:17]
Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, I. Yeah, I've had. Over the years, I've had anxiety, especially working in music and building that and getting that to a successful level and knowing that, you know, I was basically, you know, music industry is a tough feel anyway. And on top of that making a living for music to add to the, you know, plus having, you know, health conditions, you know, it's a lot to do because I've got other people's careers in my hands as well. You know, they're depending on me. I'm trying to do the best I can do. It's been really successful. It continues to build. I've worked with over 80 different celebrities, wrote with some of them as well, songwriting, done things that I wouldn't even imagine that I would have achieved, you know, still achieving it, you know, and I'm not letting the autism or anything hold me back. You know, it's actually now a superpower almost, you know. Yeah.
- [17:02]
Tony Mantour
Yeah. That's a great way of looking at it. Now, since you have gotten your diagnosis, have you seen a change? Now you're getting to know what autism is. You're starting to get a better grasp and understanding. How have you adjusted to this and what kind of changes have you seen yourself make moving forward?
- [17:23]
Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, acceptance. More acceptance of myself. Because I really. I found it very hard to accept some of my patterns. You know, I felt very strange at times, and I thought, well, no one else is doing these things that I know, so why am I memorizing all this stuff? Why am I so heavily focused on one subject? Sort of. But basically, I adjusted really quick because suddenly I've got the sort of clarity. I've had the clarity on different areas. And then I was like, oh, of course, now that's that. That absolutely, completely. I'm not, you know, a doctor or working at school. All these things that you think about doing when you're a child, and they say, oh, you should go and be this or be that. The music for me always happened, but I couldn't accept it for a long time, even though I was doing. I try to come away from it, but it keep coming back like a boomerang. So I could never, you know, couldn't escape it, really. And now I enjoy it. I enjoy it and I embrace it now because I accept the way I am, that I'm not actually. It's not like it's not a hobby. It's not just like I do, you know. You know, people are engineers or whatever they do, and we've all got a purpose. It took me a long time, but now I've accepted my purpose and what I have and how my mind thinks, you know, obviously, it's okay now.
- [18:31]
Tony Mantour
Most kids, as they're growing up, they always have these perceptions of their parents. Why do they make me do this? Why do they make me do that? They're always questioning them. They don't know what they're talking about. Did you have any challenges like that? He hadn't been diagnosed autistic yet, but he did have some of those tendencies. Then after he got his diagnosis and you found out he's autistic, then you get your diagnosis of being autistic. Did that build a bridge that made the both of you closer because of the understanding you gained from being autistic?
- [19:11]
Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, I mean he actually. Sorry, I'm just processing everything. Yeah, he just like after the diagnosis I think, yeah, I did, I did feel closer to him and understand more why he was. Because I didn't have the guidance. Like I didn't have the career guidance. I come away from school and I struggled through school sometimes, you know, I did well in the end actually. But the social aspect, I really struggled with the actual academic side I struggled with in certain subjects but excelled in well, course music, maths and English and things. But I didn't have the guidance when I left school of what to do. He didn't say anything to me. He didn't say you should be fought about this job before, about that. He didn't say anything. And I know why I didn't now because he wasn't thinking about it because he was stuck in his autism. So I just found my own path and obviously that led to the music. And I remember not having no guidance and I remember thinking that's just odd. I've got no guidance at all. Nothing, you know. But I don't hold it against him at all. Now I understand why now.
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Tony Mantour
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Now you say you're concentrating on your music.
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Liam Edward Golder
Yeah. 30 years now. 30 years of it. Yeah.
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Tony Mantour
How do people find you? Give us your websites and social media so people can follow you on what you're doing.
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Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, I've got. It's, it's. Well, because I do what I do. I do, I do pr. Remarketing communications for bands and songwriters, sinners, all kinds of music. Basically the website or the company son Heroes Music PR and the website is www.son-heroes-music-pr.com look me up under Liamid Recorder. But Song Heroes is the company I've had for years and years. I say 30 years I've been doing all this now. Yeah. So the marketing and PR and basically like a music agent for all different kinds of bands and famous and non famous singers and songwriters and every. All kinds of music. You know, people can find me. I do, I do radio Packages, tv, magazines, record labels, music venues, you know, you know, music for airports and shopping malls, restaurants, hotels, all of that. You know, there's so much that I cover which my. My creative brain just focuses on like a machine, really.
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Tony Mantour
Have you had any challenges that you've had to overcome because of your autism with the work that you do and the clients?
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Liam Edward Golder
I think just having a structure. Like, I've got a really good structure with it, but, you know, if a lot's going on at once, you have to balance that and then learn to structure that. Like anything in life, just have that structure and balance of what's going on. And I think that, yeah, the challenge was just. Just really prioritizing what was important, feeling overwh, like we talked about earlier, not to feel burnt out by the actual clients or the workload. So it's just having that happy balance,
- [21:43]
Tony Mantour
you know, now that you understand yourself better after your autism diagnosis. Add to that, you now see your father's life in a different lens because of it. What kind of legacy are you hoping to carry forward now?
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Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, that's a great. That's a great question. The music legacy, but also the health aspects. I'm, you know, writing with different celebrity artists, seen him with them sometimes before and promoting them, being their agent and publicist, really, but also while having ADHD and autism. And I think to be like, well, okay, you can achieve things, you know, you haven't got to be put in a box or you haven't got to not. The legacy is that you can to help to inspire others because you can achieve these things, you know, you haven't got to just think, right, well, I've got autism or got ADHD or whatever you have, and think, right, well, I'm not going to do anything, you know, I'm just going to sit there on the sofa and just put the headphones on and shut yourself off the world for the next 80 years or whatever. And I thought, no, to do something, you know, I'm going to. I'm not going to let it stop me. In fact, it's now become the fuel to make things even bigger and build that legacy even stronger and say to other people, you can do it. You can do things beyond all the challenges, you know, you haven't got to think that you can't when people say you won't be able to do that. We've all had it at times in our life.
- [22:56]
Tony Mantour
Yeah, absolutely. So two different autism diagnosis actually connected two different people because of it.
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Liam Edward Golder
Yeah.
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Tony Mantour
The beauty is it did not separate you Tell us what that connection means to you today, now that you have a better understanding of autism.
- [23:13]
Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, well, I have a lot more understanding and empathy and compassion. And one of the big things was he always looks so vague as that, whereas I do. I recognize I do it just now. To me, it's like, well, I can relate to the reasons why he is how he is, you know, and it wasn't to be rude. He wasn't being rude. He wasn't trying to be distant. He wasn't trying not to care about situations. It's just that he didn't understand his emotions in the world, and he didn't really know how to respond to a lot of situations and still doesn't. But he's also just like a sweetest guy. So he's absolutely amazing, you know, and he's always gonna be the person that sits in the corner in the room, but that's fine, you know, because that's how he is. But that's that. And the fact is, still a great person. And the fact that he's actually, you know, he's had three children. He's been married to my mom 61 years, you know, despite his health issues, and been a success, you know, Been a success. So. So he's done amazing and that as well, you know, it's an inspiration to think that can. You can do things. You know, I was told, you know, don't work in music, you'll be a loser, you know, oh, it'd be a hobby. What will your real job be? You know, I had a business advisor, and he said, well, I. I think working the music industry is going to be hit or miss, so that I wouldn't actually do it. I wouldn't bother. And I come out of the meeting, you know, and I'll deflate it. And I thought, oh, geez, is he right or not? And I was like, no, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm look back, you know, and I'm glad I did because I. I built a career and I built income and built, as you like saying earlier, like, what's going to be a legacy because of music? And I would, if I had listened to the. That, you know, the naysayers and all the people that say, you can't do this and don't do that. I've never done it, you know, I've
- [24:43]
Tony Mantour
heard all those naysayers myself, so I totally get it. Completely.
- [24:48]
Liam Edward Golder
Yes. Yes.
- [24:49]
Tony Mantour
How old is your dad now?
- [24:51]
Liam Edward Golder
Well, Dad's actually, God bless him, he's he's 81 now.
- [24:54]
Tony Mantour
Oh, nice.
- [24:55]
Liam Edward Golder
Yeah. Yeah, he's 81. So he's doing well. I mean, he's amazing, really. You know, what he's been through and, yes, it's fantastic.
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Tony Mantour
Is he still in England or is he here in the States?
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Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, he's. Yeah, he's in England still. So. So he was. He was born in England, so he's there with mum and the other rest of the side of the family. So he's there. But, yeah, you know, he's always been my hero because he's always been a great dad. Even through his struggles, he finds that kindness, you know, and you do feel his love, even though he expresses it differently and he's concerned and never. And again he'll break out of what he's in and they go, oh, are you okay? That sort of thing. Or, oh, do you need something? Or. You're right, you know, how are you? You know? But I say he's become a great person despite all these challenges.
- [25:34]
Tony Mantour
Nice. That's just so good. Now that you know this about yourself, how do you see yourself living differently now? Not in spite of autism, but because of it?
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Liam Edward Golder
I'm a lot more confident, feeling a lot more comfortable. As I said earlier, I just. I've just come to a place of acceptance and realizing why I think the way I do, and I've always had a different way of thinking, and I never knew why. And I thought. And I thought it was strange. Now I don't. I don't think it's strange now. I think it's actually got its. It's got its own uniqueness. I say, especially with the music that's really, you know, to help others with the music industry, which I'll. I'll keep doing. Go and keep going for that and keep helping people and successfully get them out there. But I will keep pushing the music out there and keep helping people, getting their music out, you know, and changing the world in my own individual way.
- [26:20]
Tony Mantour
Yeah, that's just so good. Well, this has been great, Great conversation, great information. I really appreciate you taking the time to join us today.
- [26:31]
Liam Edward Golder
Yeah, thank you, Tony. I really, really enjoyed it and really grateful to you for having me on the show. Yeah, absolutely. It's been amazing.
- [26:39]
Tony Mantour
It's been my pleasure. Thanks again. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know someone who has a story to share, tell them to contact us at WhyNotMe World. One last thing spread the word about why not me? Our conversations are inspiring guests that show you are not alone in this world.
- [27:24]
Liberty Mutual Announcer
Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this rush hour ad to keep you calm, which could help your driving. And science says therapy is great for a healthy mindset. So enjoy this 14 second session on us. I think you've done everything right and absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, anything that hasn't gone your way could probably be blamed on your father not being emotionally available because his father wasn't emotionally available, and so on. And now that you're calm and healing, you're probably driving better, too.
- [27:51]
Eggland's Best Announcer
Liberty. Liberty.
- [27:52]
Liam Edward Golder
Liberty.
- [27:53]
Eggland's Best Announcer
Liberty.
- [27:55]
Tony Mantour
If you like the show, please take a moment to rate, review and subscribe.
- [28:00]
Liam Edward Golder
It really does help the show to grow. Thank you for listening.