Tosh Show – “My Bachelorette, Panda – Amanda Lambert”

Host: Daniel Tosh
Guest: Amanda “Panda” Lambert
Date: February 10, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of the Tosh Show is a wry, candid, and often hilarious exploration of Daniel Tosh’s quest to find love for his wife’s cousin, Amanda, aka Panda. Having spent six months in a semi-serious attempt to match Panda with a worthy suitor among the show’s eclectic fanbase—to little success—Tosh takes a deeper dive into Panda’s dating history, desires, family dynamics, and what’s gone wrong so far. Familiar regulars like Eddie, Hutch, and even Amanda’s aunt-in-law, Travis, join in, providing an intimate if comically chaotic, portrait of Panda as the podcast’s most eligible bachelorette.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Die with Zero” Philosophy and Tosh’s Family Traditions

• Tosh and Eddie discuss the “die with zero” retirement strategy—the notion of spending your money and not stockpiling it for others (02:11).
  • Daniel Tosh: “It’s hard because you don’t know when you’re gonna die. Unless you do. Cause then it’s easy to plot it out.” (02:34)
• Tosh describes family’s (especially wife Carly’s) penchant for creating new traditions around events like Valentine’s Day, and his own quirky travel habits. Panda is ribbed for her single status on Valentine’s.
  • Daniel: “Our tradition for Valentine’s Day every year ... we go to a nice lunch. The end. There’s no flowers. There’s no gift.” (06:29)
  • Amanda: “Fruit booters.” (rollerbladers; 07:04)

2. Defining Panda’s Ideal Match—Aunt-In-Law’s Criteria

• Tosh calls Travis (Amanda’s aunt-in-law) to get her take on what kind of partner would be ideal for Panda.
  • Desired traits: Tall, liberal, vegetarian/vegan, smart, funny, adoring (10:10)
  • Travis: “She can go down five years ... and go up ten years.” (10:26)
• Discussion of Amanda’s past relationships, including a 7-year boyfriend who never said “I love you.”
  • Travis: “Yeah, he was wrong. And her brother tried to say that. I think her dad said that. My husband said that...” (11:02)

3. Amanda’s (Panda’s) Relationship History & Personality

• Tosh gives a blunt, humorous rundown of Panda’s past: multiple long-term relationships where she often followed love across states, and ill-fated matches (16:53–26:04).
  • Daniel: “You dated him for seven years. He didn’t say I love you? Not once? Nah, it’s weird. I don’t get guys like that.” (22:22)
• Panda moved from Florida to California for work—and to escape a breakup—at Tosh’s suggestion, joining Tosh Point O just as the pandemic shuttered the show. Amanda reflects that it was the right decision, even with relationship and job woes (22:45).

4. Why Panda Turned her Love Life Over to Tosh

• Amanda explains that dating apps are “garbage,” (23:21) and trusts Tosh more than algorithms despite his over-the-top methods.
  • Daniel: “You don’t do the apps?”
    Amanda: “No. They’re garbage. They’re horrible.” (23:17–23:22)

5. Family Ties and Emotional Soft Spots

• Amanda’s adoration for her brothers, who don’t return the affection as strongly, is a running joke. Tosh suggests this dynamic might be the crux of her dating woes (24:08).
  • Daniel: “You’ve had a weird physical attraction to both of your brothers almost your entire life.”
    Amanda: “That’s true. It’s very true. They’re my first loves.” (24:16)
• Her parents’ divorce and dynamics with her father’s new wife (25:11–25:33).

6. The Wildest Dates & Red Flags

• Panda has dated a range: a guy who never said "I love you," one who was obsessed with introducing her to his mom on the first date, a performer from Progressive’s “Don’t Turn Into Your Parents” ads, and a man with a unique sexual request.
  • Daniel: “Who was the guy that always wanted to pee in your butt that you dated?”
    Amanda: “I was wondering if you were gonna bring him up.” (28:45–28:48)
  • Daniel: “You’ll fly through some red flags.”
    Amanda: “I sure will.” (29:17)

7. The Horse Content: Not a Dealbreaker

• Many potential suitors seem worried Panda is “all about horses,” but she clarifies that while horses will always be in her life, her partner doesn’t need to share that passion (30:16).
  • Amanda: “It always will be. Yeah. But you don’t need to be into it.” (30:16–30:21)

8. On Romance, Dating Preferences, and “Dealbreakers”

• Panda is open to romance, wants someone successful and passionate, prefers active dates over dinners, and expects the guy to pay on the first date but isn’t wedded to gender roles (27:40–31:03).
• She’s flexible on age but wants a tall, masculine man (41:21).

9. Blunt Q&A — Relationship, Sexuality, and Openness

• Tosh and Amanda handle a series of direct, often irreverent questions from the audience:
  • Would she date a Trump-era ICE agent? (“No.” 53:59)
  • Nazis? (“I don’t love them.” 54:03)
  • Willing to date women? (“I wish I was a lesbian sometimes because I can’t find the right dude.” 37:12)

10. The Failed Suitor Call-In Bit

• Tosh and Panda reflect on the call-in gimmick’s total collapse: most callers are not serious, often want to talk to co-host Eddie, or just joke around (32:20–32:43).
  • Daniel: “People have realized at this point that it’s just a bit. That’s why we’re doing this interview, so that people can see there’s a real person’s feelings on the line.” (32:08)

11. Amanda’s Life in Malibu—Pigs, Guesthouses, and “Art Panda”

• Amanda describes quirky Malibu life: living in Daniel’s guesthouse, running an arts and crafts business for rich kids, and living with a mini pig (47:38; 51:28).
  • Amanda: “I texted Carly a picture of a concrete pig...next thing I know I have joint custody of a real mini pig.” (47:16–47:38)
  • Daniel: “You wear one dumb hat every day of your life.”
    Amanda: “I do. I love it.” (50:52)
• Family jokes continue: Amanda, Tosh, wives, in-laws, and pets make for a lively, unconventional extended family (48:53).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Dating Red Flags:
  Daniel Tosh: “You’ll fly through some red flags.”
  Amanda: “I sure will.” (29:17)

• On Dating Apps:
  Daniel: “You don’t do the apps?”
  Amanda: “No. They’re garbage. They’re horrible.” (23:17–23:22)

• Amanda’s Aunt-in-Law on Her Ideal Partner:
  Travis: “Tall, liberal... be nice if he was vegetarian or vegan. Smart and funny. Who would adore her.” (10:10)

• On Family Dynamics:
  Daniel: “You’ve had a weird physical attraction to both of your brothers almost your entire life.”
  Amanda: “That’s true. It’s very true. They’re my first loves.” (24:16)

• On Being Open-Minded:
  Amanda: “I’m open-minded in the beginning. Cause you’re getting to know someone.” (29:25)

• On Not Wanting a “Pretty” Partner:
  Amanda: “I don’t like pretty men. I like good looking men. Masculine men...girls feel safe with tall men.” (42:38, 42:46)

• On her hat:
  Daniel: “She’s got this hat that says...Make America Great...she thinks it’s the funniest thing ever.”
  Amanda: “It says Surfing Cowboys.” (51:05–51:07)

Important Timestamps

• Introduction to “Die with Zero” philosophy: 02:11
• Calling Amanda’s aunt-in-law Travis for matchmaking wisdom: 09:33
• Amanda’s relationship background and move to CA: 18:21–23:00
• Wildest Exes Stories: The “pee in the butt” guy, commercials boyfriend, etc: 28:45–29:28
• Horses and dating myths: 30:16–30:49
• Straightforward questions: romance, money, dating philosophy: 27:40–31:03
• Show’s call-in segment floundering: 32:02–32:43
• Amanda’s quirky Malibu life and Art Panda business: 47:16–51:28
• Direct question round (sexuality, politics, etc.): 37:12, 53:59, 54:03
• Amanda’s ideal age range & expectations: 41:21–42:31

Tone and Style

Staying true to Tosh’s signature irreverence, the episode is playful, sarcastic, and brutally honest. Panda rolls with every jab, showing warmth and good humor. Candid discussions about family, breakups, pet pigs, and the LA dating scene are shot through with Tosh’s deadpan and cynical comedic style.

Conclusion

This episode offers a behind-the-scenes look at one woman’s meandering journey through modern dating, seen through the filter of Daniel Tosh’s acerbic wit. It’s a candid blend of comedy and sincerity, mixing family banter, bad dating stories, and the stubborn hope that 2026 might finally be Panda’s year. For listeners, it’s an entertaining, affectionate, and at times, uncomfortably real examination of love, family, and why sometimes, your best shot at romance just might need the intervention of a stand-up comedian.