My Beekeeper - Jeremy Jensen

Summary

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Tosh Show – "My Beekeeper - Jeremy Jensen"

Host: Daniel Tosh
Guest: Jeremy Jensen (Owner, Bill's Bees)
Date: August 4, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this engaging and laugh-out-loud episode, Daniel Tosh interviews Jeremy Jensen, the owner of Bill’s Bees, for a deep yet comedic dive into the world of beekeeping. The episode moves from Tosh’s failed corporate gigs and stand-up hardships to an unexpectedly fascinating exploration of bees, their biology, honey, pollination economics, the realities of running a bee business, and Jeremy’s personal, entrepreneurial journey. Listeners get a firsthand look at why bees are vital—and just how weird, messy, and occasionally tragic their lives can be.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Pain & Price of Corporate Comedy

[00:27–06:34]

• Tosh and Eddie share war stories about corporate stand-up gigs; Tosh hilariously laments the misery versus monetary rewards.
• Notable discussion about booking rates and the oddities of talent agent sites.
• "You know, a little bit of your soul dies, but...you made more money than you would in a week." – Daniel Tosh [00:48]
• Humorous riff on whether they’d perform for any audience if the price was right.

2. Jeremy’s Start in Beekeeping

[06:35–13:35]

• Jeremy got into beekeeping at age 12 after learning about colony collapse on the news. Launched his career via Craigslist by removing wild hives and keeping the bees.
• Parental support: Jeremy’s father encouraged him, contrasting with Tosh’s own “dream killer” dad.
• At 16, Jeremy attended the LA County Beekeepers Association class, met Bill (namesake for Bill’s Bees), who later put Jeremy on payroll.

Jeremy: "I had about 20 beehives that I had rescued out of people’s yards and attics and basements." [06:50]
Daniel Tosh: "At 12 years old, you had 20 beehives!?" [06:54]

3. Growing Up Bee-Obsessed

[13:36–15:15]

• Jeremy’s high school was filled with bee-related mishaps ("too many bees on my truck"). Drove multiple vehicles, had a robust operation.
• Through college, scaled up to 300 hives; after graduating, Bill sold him the business on a handshake deal over breakfast.
• Bill, now retired, "sailed off into the sunset" on his boat, The Honey Bee.

4. Beekeeping Business Realities

[14:21–16:13]

• Beekeeping businesses are hard to sell; most assets (boxes, hives) are sold off.
• Bill’s Bees’ reputation and brand value were significant in the sale.
• Under Jeremy, the company has grown to 10 farmer’s markets a week and hundreds of hives.

5. Bee Biology & Fascinating Facts

[17:00–22:44]

• Lifespans: Worker bees live ~28 days, queens up to three years; winter bees can last up to a year in lab conditions.
• Role separation: Drones (males) mate and eat; worker females do everything else, queens only lay eggs (up to 3,000 per day).
• Queen creation: Special feeding of royal jelly turns a larva into a queen; first hatched queen kills rivals.
• Honey production: Bees dehydrate nectar to turn it into honey; a healthy hive can produce up to 500 lbs/year.

Jeremy: "There's never been a hive that successfully had two queens... But occasionally, a mother and daughter can coexist if their pheromone signals fade." [18:11]
Daniel Tosh: "Do you consider bees your pets?"
Jeremy: "Employees." [18:50]

6. The Business of Bees: Pollination, Products, and "Big Honey"

[22:45–26:43]

• Almond pollination in California is the bee business jackpot.
• Hives are transported for pollination contracts—almonds alone require 90% of the nation’s beehives.
• Direct-to-consumer honey brings higher margins than bulk honey sales.
• Bill's Bees produces honey, pollen, beeswax, soap, lotion, lip balm, and candles.

Jeremy: "Wildflower is definitely our best seller, because of the allergy benefits." [25:29] Jeremy: "If you sell honey in a barrel, you only get $3 a pound... at the farmers market, we charge a little more for it." [23:00]

7. Allergies, Honey Claims, and Safety

[25:47–26:04]

• Local wildflower honey might help with seasonal allergies.
• Honey is not recommended for children under one due to botulism risk.
• "A spoonful a day," especially in yogurt, is Jeremy’s routine.

8. Hive Expansion, Safety, and Kid Culture

[26:34–27:40]

• Bill's Bees now manages 600–700 hives, with plans for further expansion.
• Residential (backyard) hives are generally safe for kids—bee suits available.
• Jeremy has done school visits but was asked by his wife to avoid traumatizing kids with the story of drone bee’s extreme mating death.

Jeremy: "She technically doesn’t rip it off; it technically explodes when he ejaculates. And then..." [28:06]

9. Bee Sex, Death, and Swarms

[27:57–31:00]

• Graphic detail: drones die after mating, their "exploded" penis is ejected from the queen, who stores semen for life.
• Bee swarms as "one of the most fun things"; Jeremy has caught them mid-flight and orchestrated bee beards for $2,500 per shoot.

Jeremy: "You mate with the queen and then... it explodes after it ejaculates." [28:06]
Daniel Tosh: "Why didn’t they show that in Bee Movie?" [28:39]

10. Honey Fraud & Beehive Thefts

[32:48–36:38]

• Hive theft is a "big problem." Tech-savvy beekeepers now hide AirTags in hives.
• Most "bear" honey in grocery stores varies in quality. Some brands cut honey with rice syrup and blend imports.
• Advocates for buying local honey for purity and allergy benefits.

Jeremy: "They cut it with rice syrup." [36:18] Jeremy: "If you read the label, it says product of US and Argentina...not a lot of standard." [36:09]

11. Threats to Bee Health

[36:43–37:24]

• Bee population crisis: up to 60% national hive loss in a bad year (mostly due to mites).
• Commercial keepers must constantly split and replenish hives to keep pace.
• “Our whole industry revolves around making two to three hives out of one every year just to keep up.” [37:01]

12. A Day in a Beekeeper’s Life

[37:30–38:08]

• Jeremy rises at 5 am ("whenever the sun comes out"). Sundays are off; crew handles weekend markets.
• Discusses parenting a 2-year-old and the struggle of bee stings in the family.

13. Bee Behavior, Dead Bees, and Morticians

[38:15–39:08]

• Bees use pheromones to communicate; smoke disrupts these signals, calming the hive.
• Dead bees are cleaned out by specialized "mortician bees" who carry corpses out of the hive.
• Children often buy bee-themed gifts for Jeremy’s baby; his daughter has been stung multiple times (intended as a cautionary tale).

14. Miscellaneous Fun Facts & Memorable Moments

[39:41–42:03]

• Children under one should not eat honey.
• Bears are not drawn to honey per se—they eat bee larvae.
• Jeremy’s fondness for Honey Nut Cheerios (with extra honey).
• "Beekeepers are really in it for the bees… we're all kind of bee nerds." [36:26]
• Jeremy’s favorite honey is sage, despite it being a rare harvest.
• Tosh samples honey sticks on-air: “I already feel my allergies are better.” [49:37]

15. Beekeeping Products & The Bill’s Bees "Tasting Flight"

[44:10–48:05]

• Jeremy brings a selection: candles, soap, hand balm, honey tasting flight (with different floral sources).
• Discussion of hand balm versus traditional lotion, and wax-related products made from leftover honeycomb.

16. "Big Honey" vs. Local

[35:26–36:38]

• Large "honey packers" prioritize profit and sometimes dilute quality.
• Local honey supports both bees and small businesses.

17. Closing Gags and Personalities

[51:01–51:06]

• Tosh signs off musing about bee sex, mortality, and the surreal facts learned from Jeremy.
• Eddie and Tosh close with their signature comedic post-mortem and call out Sue, a fan whose life the podcast helped.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On bee roles:
  "The males are called drones. All they do is mate and eat honey. That's their whole life." — Jeremy [00:03, 17:25]

• On getting stung:
  "I'd rather get stung than wear the gloves." — Jeremy [09:21]

• On the economics:
  "The pollination effectively pays for the bees' care for the year." — Jeremy [22:55]

• On honey’s shelf life:
  "Never goes bad. Found it in the Egyptian pyramids. It was still good." — Jeremy [20:56]

• On bee mating:
  “She technically doesn’t rip it off; it technically explodes when he ejaculates... then her vagina will spit it out and she'll wait for the next one to come.” — Jeremy [28:06]

• On honey fraud:
  "They cut it with rice syrup. They cut it with rice syrup." — Jeremy [36:18]

• On being a beekeeper kid:
  "I was the weird kid in high school, man. Well, yeah, I got kicked out of school one day because I had too many bees on my truck." — Jeremy [13:44]

• On bee death:
  "Bees take care of them. There's mortician bees. If someone dies in the hive, they pick them up and they haul them out." — Jeremy [38:52]

• On local honey’s allergy benefit:
  "Wildflower. Definitely wildflower. Because of the allergy benefits..." — Jeremy [25:29]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------------|--------------| | Tosh’s corporate comedy woes | 00:27–06:34 | | Jeremy’s beekeeping origin story | 06:35–13:15 | | Buying Bill’s Bees & business details | 13:15–16:13 | | Bee biology: roles, lifespan, queen | 17:00–22:44 | | Honey production process | 22:45–23:30 | | Pollination & economics | 23:23–26:43 | | Safety, allergies, and beehives at home | 27:10–27:40 | | Bee sex & life cycle | 27:57–29:46 | | Beehive theft, honey fraud, “big honey” | 32:48–36:38 | | Bee population threats | 36:43–37:24 | | Bee day-to-day, kid stings, and products | 37:30–39:39 | | Sampling products & honey tasting flight | 44:10–48:05 | | Audience gifts, weird bee trivia | 51:01–54:36 |

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Tone & Style

• Daniel Tosh: Irreverent, rapid-fire, deadpan with regular comedic tangents and asides.
• Jeremy Jensen: Earnest, knowledgeable, unpretentious, and game for a laugh—even when explaining the most bizarre facts about bee anatomy and business.

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Summary for Non-Listeners

This episode is a masterclass in both comedy and apiculture. Daniel Tosh uses his signature wit to draw out Jeremy Jensen’s deep, practical bee knowledge—covering everything from why honey doesn’t spoil, the mechanics of bee sex and death, to the economics of keeping thousands of hives and dodging hive rustlers. The conversation is equal parts educational and hilarious, loaded with fun facts you’ll immediately want to share, and the kind of one-liners that make Tosh famous.

If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to be a modern beekeeper—or why bees matter more than you know—you’ll leave this episode with new appreciation for these insects, and maybe for the bee nerds who care for them.

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For more: Visit BillsBees.com

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Transcript

[Daniel Tosh]

What's the difference between a queen and a regular? All the other bees.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So there's three kinds of bees, okay? The males are called drones. All they do is mate and eat honey. That's their whole life. So they, you know, honey nut, cheerio.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is that really what that's from? Tosh show. Posh show. Toss show. Posh show. It's toss show time. Hey, Eddie, question for you.

[Eddie]

Yeah?

[Daniel Tosh]

You've done. Stand up for a minute. You ever do any corporate shows?

[Eddie]

Yeah, I have done some.

[Daniel Tosh]

You have? Do you have a corporate agent?

[Eddie]

No, I always just got them through. Like, Comedy Central would throw me some corporate shows every once in a while.

[Daniel Tosh]

What corporations did you perform for?

[Eddie]

Mr. And Mrs. T's Bloody Mary mix, Those kind of gigs?

[Daniel Tosh]

Corporate shows, if you don't know, you know, companies have a party or whatever reason and they hire a comedian and. And you perform it, and the venue's usually poor or, you know, the conditions aren't perfect. But what offsets that is the amount of money, right? They pay you a pretty good rate to do this show. You know, a little bit of your soul dies, but you're. You're. You're. You made more money than you would in a week. I had done a couple in my career, and each one of them had gone so spectacularly poor that I swore on. On the unborn births of my future children that I would never, ever do it again.

[Eddie]

Do you remember which ones they were?

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, I mean, I can name one of the soul Crushers. I was in, I don't know, somewhere in Ohio, and I'm working at a club. You know, maybe it's Go Bananas. And you're there from, like a Wednesday through Saturday. And they say to me, hey, come in a day early. You're making $1,000 for the week. Come in a day early. We'll give you an extra $250. You're gonna go to this restaurant and do a show. And I'm like, perfect. And then I went to this restaurant. I was like, oh, there's no stage. And they're like, no, it's. You're in the back room. I'm like, oh, okay, there's a private room in there. I go to the back room. There's just one long table back there, and there's people having a dinner. And they're like, okay, you're gonna perform at this dinner. I'm like, there's no microphone. So I just stood at the head of the table and just started doing jokes. And it was awful. It was uncomfortable. And I didn't have the experience to roll with it. And then I said, okay, that's it. And then they're like, okay, you can sit down now and eat. And I'm like, that was, I just was like, that was the most horrible thing ever. And then a couple times, my manager, Christy Smith, she, you know, forced me to, like, do a thing for Comedy Centrals, you know, like their upfronts. A version of that where you. I would perform for all of the people that worked in New York and LA at the Comedy center. And those things were just painful as well. Well, anyway, recently I looked at this website. There's a lot of third party agents that think somebody sent me this link. They're like, hey, did you see that? This is your rate. And I'm like, whoa. This website says that they can book comedian Daniel Tosh. That's me, for 500 to $750,000. That's my rate. And I want to tell this website that has no authorization whatsoever, you're in the ballpark. Yeah, you've piqued my interest. I'll show up for a half million dollars. Probably. I'm not going to the Middle East. What's the name of the website?

[Eddie]

Celebritytalent.net oh.net.

[Daniel Tosh]

okay. I wonder if anyone actually has booked talent through that.

[Eddie]

I don't know. Right.

[Daniel Tosh]

Are you on their website?

[Eddie]

No, I looked. I'm not.

[Daniel Tosh]

No. It's a shame. And would you do it for 500,000?

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Daniel Tosh]

Would you do any show for a half a million dollars?

[Eddie]

Any show?

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. Can I create? Yes. Stand up. Nothing. Nothing weird other than like, oh, maybe it's, it's four people that are, you know, a bunch of Jeffrey Epstein types.

[Eddie]

Would you quit? There you go. That's a good. Yeah, I'd pass on a few things.

[Daniel Tosh]

Or would you try to play dumb and be like, I don't know what they do. I'm sure everybody's bad if you, if you go far enough back. You know, people try to justify money.

[Eddie]

No, I think I could turn down a couple of things.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, it's, it's, it's at this island that used to be owned by a famous magician, you're basically just doing what

[Eddie]

he used to do. Maybe.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, it's, it's, it's not my cup of tea, so I just say no. But I like to know that I'm leaving just millions of dollars on the table. I got an offer once in Miami to, to perform at some guy's wedding that was a bazillionaire and the number just kept going up and up and up. I'm like. I'm just. I go. Just so you know, I'm gonna say no. But to make this entertaining, offer me, like, the craziest number ever. And he's like, I'll give you 5 million to do it. And I was like, I'll do it. He's like, oh, motherfucker. By the way, the website said up to 749. It didn't say, like, a little deal. It didn't say 750,000. It said 749. Now, that's before agents, guys. You got this third party, whatever bullshit number they take. Then my real agents over at William Morris Endeavor, Stacy, Mark, she'll claw her 10% off. Christy will hack her 10%. The business managers will get their five. And that's usually where I cap it. And then I got to bring Eddie. And Pete always wants a taste. Yeah, Yeah. I barely walk away with $350,000. That's a sting. And speaking of ding, Today's guest. You just wait. Enjoy. My guest today is the bee's knees. He cultivates what is often considered the most important animal species on Earth. Huh? Ed? Bees. He's supplying local honey to the farmers markets here in Los Angeles. Please welcome the owner of Bill's Bees, Jeremy.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Hey, guys.

[Daniel Tosh]

Who's Bill?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Bill taught me about the bees years ago when I was but a young lad, about 12 years old, I went to a beekeeping class with Bill. I had about 20 beehives that I had rescued out of people's yards and attics and basements.

[Daniel Tosh]

At 12 years old, you had 20 beehives?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I did, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

A beehive. I'm sorry, but how many bees are in a beehive?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

About 20 to 50,000, 100,000 in the

[Daniel Tosh]

spring, you had four. Five of those. 20. I'm not doing. You had 20 of those. I can't do that math. Five?

[Eddie]

That's impossible.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, my God. That's too many bees.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

A lot of bees at 12. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you stumble upon this? How does a 12 year old get into bees?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So I heard the bees were dying off. I saw it on the news, you know, colony collapse disorder. Bees are dying everywhere. And I thought, hey, that sounds kind of interesting. I could keep some beehives. I mean, bees make honey. And so it sounds like a little money factory. And I could sell the honey, and then I could buy cars and take girls out on dates.

[Daniel Tosh]

Were your parents okay with this?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

My father's an enabler. And so he said you know, if you're interested in that, I've got, you know, some land out in the desert. You can put bees there. And what is that?

[Daniel Tosh]

My father's a dream killer. Just pitch any idea. It's like, absolutely not the end.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So I put an ad on Craigslist and said, you know, beehive removal, pay for my gas. I gave my dad the gas money and he'd take me around and I keep the bees.

[Daniel Tosh]

That is pretty incredible.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I didn't know what I was doing and I thought, how hard could this be?

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

My first beehive I found in a tree in front of a family friend's house. And I said, well, I can't do anything about that. It's about 40ft up there and his name is Tony. Tony says, oh, no, no. I got just the solution. My neighbor's got a forklift.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, what a fun neighbor.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah. So he lifted this 12 or 13 year old kid up on the forklift and I put the beehive in a box and they set me down and I was off to the races.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you ever see the movie My Girl?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I didn't. I've never seen it.

[Daniel Tosh]

You kidding me?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

Right now. We're gonna. You watch that.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

We're gonna watch My Girl.

[Daniel Tosh]

After this, you are gonna sob. Spoiler alert, he dies.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

All right.

[Daniel Tosh]

Allergic to bees. Allergic to bees gets stung by a swarm.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

What a pussy.

[Daniel Tosh]

How often were you stung as a child?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Not that often. I wore a bee suit.

[Daniel Tosh]

You wore a bee suit even for that removal on the forklift?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah. Well, I got some duct tape and like a mosquito net.

[Daniel Tosh]

Does that actually work?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, it worked pretty good that time.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, can be. I mean, I don't know how. I'm sure it doesn't have to be Kevlar, but what's an actual bee suit made out of?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It's a canvas.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I get stung all the time now. I don't like wearing the suit.

[Daniel Tosh]

You just get stung constantly?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah, I wear the little hat. I don't like to get stung in

[Daniel Tosh]

the eyes, of course. Okay.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I used to show up to high school with my eyes swelled shut.

[Daniel Tosh]

What about getting stung on the hand? It doesn't hurt you at all now?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

You get used to it. I'd rather get stung than wear the gloves.

[Daniel Tosh]

You'd rather get stung than wear gloves?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And if I'm getting stung, that means I'm doing something wrong. So that's their way of communicating that, hey, fuck you.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, so you're not getting stung constantly. It just happens occasionally.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah, every now and then.

[Daniel Tosh]

And you're like. But do you react?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

You flinch, you know, there's some four letter words every now and then.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, all right. You're a human. I just didn't know. I didn't know how tough of a human you are. Like, no, I just don't feel it anymore.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

But. So after I got a few beehives, I thought, you know, I could learn some more about these bees. And so I heard there was a beekeeping class by the LA County Beekeepers association, and I went to.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is it still around?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It is. We've been around since 18, 40, 50. And so I went to this class and Bill was teaching it. And after the class, he says, hey, you look like a strong young man. You look like you got some dirt on your bee suit. Do you want to learn some more? And I said, sure.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're 12 at this point.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Sixteen. I just got my driver's license.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm 16.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I just got my driver's license. I'd been keeping bees and removing them. And so I thought I got to get some formal education.

[Daniel Tosh]

I always feel like if you're 16 years old, you know, as a man, you're old enough to be like, all right, if something sexual or weird happens to you, that's on you. Oh, yeah, okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So I showed up at 8am and Bill says, all right, man, we're gonna go keep bees in the city. I did the first day. And I said, what are you doing tomorrow, Bill? And he goes, see, at 8am and we went out harvesting honey and we harvested 10,000 pounds of honey.

[Daniel Tosh]

And you thought you were working for free all this time?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, yeah, I'm working for free, man. I'm here for the experience.

[Daniel Tosh]

Uh huh.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And so a month goes by, same thing, you know, every day. What are you doing tomorrow, Bill? And he says, hey, what's your Social Security number?

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, this is when the weird stuff starts happening.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And I said, I don't know, what do you want that for? And he goes, I'm putting you on payroll. And I said, why? I don't work for you, Bill. And he says, yeah, you do. You have for a month, every day. And I said, well, I don't want to work for you. I got my own business here. I got my own beehives. Like, I don't want a job. And he goes, give me your Social Security number. And I said, okay, all right, I guess I work for you.

[Daniel Tosh]

How much was bees bringing in when you were a 16 year old kid?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It was a good job. You Know, I mean, I was making enough that I was able to buy more bees and buy cars and I had Cars.

[Daniel Tosh]

Plural or just. You were somebody that just kind of. Kind of kept changing cars. You didn't keep them long?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

No, I had pickup. I drove to school. I had a big work truck, you know, big flatbed, you know, hobby.

[Daniel Tosh]

You had multiple cars in high school?

[Eddie]

Uh huh.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Tractors and trailers.

[Daniel Tosh]

What in the hell?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I was the weird kid in high school, man. Well, yeah, I got kicked out of school one day because I had too many bees on my truck.

[Daniel Tosh]

On your truck?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Well, yeah, I was piled up with boxes. I had work to do after school.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And they said, man, they're swarming around your truck. And I said, well, I gotta take care of that. I guess I'm gonna go home. And they said, well, when are you coming back? And I said, tomorrow. So I worked for Bill for a couple years. I graduated high school, I went to college.

[Daniel Tosh]

You finished college? You didn't go to college to study bees?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Business management and entrepreneurship.

[Daniel Tosh]

Mm.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So I quit working for Bill in college because I said, I got too much to do, man. I got 300 of my own beehives. I got, you know, school. I've got all kinds of stuff. I'm doing farmers markets for myself. And I finished college. And I said, well, now I got a degree, like, maybe I should go get a job. So I said, bill, can I. Let's have breakfast. I want to talk about, you know, what I'm going to do. And I said, you know, I'm thinking about quitting the bees. Like, it's. It's a lot of work and I could probably get a job making more money. You know, I'm going to need a lot of capital to get enough bees to get up to the level that I really want to be. And he says, oh, don't do that. And I said, well, give me a better option. He goes, I've already drawn up the papers. You're buying Bill's bees. That's what we came to breakfast for today.

[Daniel Tosh]

He had already determined he was selling you his company.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

And that probably infuriated his children.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

His children did not care about the bees.

[Daniel Tosh]

Didn't care at all?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

No, not a care.

[Daniel Tosh]

And by the way, did you. Did you look at that offer and say, not so fast, Bill, and then do a little of this? I did push it back. Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

But it was a great offer.

[Daniel Tosh]

It was a good offer.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It was a great offer.

[Daniel Tosh]

So you didn't haggle them much. Was this on a handshake?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, what did you have for breakfast that morning?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Eggs and bacon.

[Daniel Tosh]

Dude, two eggs and a side of bacon. Does that hold you over? Do you need to go?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, that's perfect.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's enough.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. I didn't know if you needed some crazy meal.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

You know, I'm not a kid anymore.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, I hear you.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

When I was working for Bill, I used to eat a dozen eggs for breakfast.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, that's what I wanted to hear,

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

but I was 16 years old.

[Daniel Tosh]

I know, I know, but a dozen eggs, that's what he used to eat. A dozen eggs for breakfast. Now, does Bill just immediately turn over?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah, pretty much within a couple of weeks of signing the papers. Bill bought a boat. He named it the Honey Bee, and he actually sailed off in the sunset,

[Daniel Tosh]

never to be heard from again.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

He lives down in Long beach now. He's on a sailing team. My dad has become friends with Bill. They go lobster fishing together. So every few months I hear a story about, you know, fun with Jeff and Bill, and they crashed into a rock the other day, and that's terrifying. They almost tipped over the little dinghy. And I'm like, you guys are going to. You can have an SOS call one of these days.

[Daniel Tosh]

How. How old your dad?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

68.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

67.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Two retired aerospace engineers.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, they'll be fine.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah, exactly.

[Daniel Tosh]

They'll figure it out. When Bill's company, when you took it over, how big was your company versus his company?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So the problem with beekeeping businesses is it's hard to sell them because. Daniel, do you want to buy a beekeeping business? We got a bunch of beehives.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean. I mean, I'm not against it, but you're talking to the right sucker.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It's hard to sell a beekeeping business.

[Daniel Tosh]

Agree, Understood.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Bill decided he would sell off most of his assets, you know, the boxes and the hives and the stuff as he went along. And so he had really shrunk his business down. He was probably down to 50 or 60 beehives, and I was running close to 400.

[Daniel Tosh]

Was the name of his company did he have clients that were more impressive or.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah, he had some people know the name around town. Has been around for 30 years, all over the farmers markets. We do about 10 farmers markets a week now. And so for now, Bill is a great name. Call me Bill.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do people call you Bill on accident?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

They do. I get the phone calls and they say, hey, is this Bill?

[Daniel Tosh]

Uh huh.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Close enough.

[Eddie]

Yeah, kind of.

[Daniel Tosh]

Jeremy. Bill. It's all the same. What's your favorite Pearl Jam song? Jeremy?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Even Flow.

[Daniel Tosh]

God damn it. We'll be right back. Paw show. Do you believe in ghosts? That's the first question?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yes.

[Daniel Tosh]

What about, do bees have ghosts?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I don't think so. They only live 28 days. That'd be a lot of ghosts.

[Daniel Tosh]

Bees only live 28 days.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

28 days, but the queen can live three years.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

He's got longevity.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's the oldest bee on record?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So there's been some cool studies that came out last year about. There's summer bees and winter bees. The summer bees, they live 28 days. They fly, fly, fly until their wings fall off. The winter bees that don't leave the hive very much, they can live in lab conditions for up to a year.

[Daniel Tosh]

Mm. See, captivity, not so bad. What about the queen? You seek em out. How do you purchase a queen so

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

you can breed queens? You breed them, but I purchase them out of the county because we have aggressive queens in Los Angeles, in Southern California. All the queens are aggressive.

[Daniel Tosh]

That makes sense, does it?

[Eddie]

Kind of does, yeah.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And so we purchased them from queen breeders up in Northern California. And effectively all you have to do is take a hive, take their queen out, give her to another hive, or move her into a queen bank and make them queenless. And they'll say, oh my gosh, we need a new queen. And they'll start making new queen bees. They'll feed a single egg, lots of royal jelly, and it'll develop her reproductive organs more than a normal bee. And they'll do that to about 30 or 40 eggs at a time. And when the first one comes out, she'll go and she'll sting all the other ones. So it's just her. And if you catch it at the right time, you can pull all of them out, put them in an incubator and let them all hatch.

[Daniel Tosh]

This is so bizarre. Why don't I know any of this stuff?

[Eddie]

Explain royal jelly.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Royal jelly is a secretion from the bee's abdomen and it's protein packed. It's this nutrient rich substance that all of the bees eat for a small time period of their life. And when they feed it to a queen, she eats it for her whole life. And so this extra nutrient allows her to develop fully.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's the difference between the queen and regular? All the other bees.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So there's three kinds of bees, okay. There's males, there's females, and there's queens. The males are called drones. All they do is mate and Eat honey. That's their whole life. So they, you know, honey nut, cheerio.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. Is that really what that's from? Did they come up with it that way?

[Eddie]

Please, please let it be true.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Okay, the females, the worker bees, they do all the work. They collect the honey, they collect the pollen. They take care of the queen, they take care of the babies. And they keep the beehive thermally regulated, so it always has to be about 96 degrees inside the beehive. And then the queen bee, she does one thing, she lays eggs. She lays about 3,000 eggs a day to keep up with the attrition of the bees that are dying off.

[Daniel Tosh]

There's never been a hive that successfully had two queens.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yes and no. The answer is no. Oh, but if a queen gets old and her pheromone wears out sometimes I've seen it where a mother and a daughter can inhabit the same beehive because the daughter can't smell her to go kill her. I've even seen a grandmother. And we can tell because we put a little paint dot on their back. And the paint dot has a international code of what color it is. And then we know what year they're from.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's kind of like a mahjong every year, getting a new card. I mean, so much work. And did you learn all this right away when you were 12 or did you start. I mean, how long did you never

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

stop learning with the bees?

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you consider bees your pets or. No.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Employees.

[Daniel Tosh]

Employees.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Uh huh.

[Daniel Tosh]

What. What about workman's comp? When one of them gets hurt, you do anything?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I got a little whip. Oh, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, no, sure.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It's a comedy podcast.

[Daniel Tosh]

Political, political. It's a political podcast that occasionally gets funny. Do bees have personalities?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

The hive does. There are nice bees and mean bees. The Africanized killer bees you've heard of, I call. Those are mean bees. We get our bees from Northern California, where it's too cold for the killer bees to live. So if they want to go out and sting the hoodie out of somebody and they all abandon the hive, it freezes to death. And so the hive can't live through the winter because they were all too busy stinging someone. So we'll get our bees from some partners we have up there that breed queens. That's their whole business. And they'll ship them in the mail, they'll ship them down to us, and then we introduce that queen into our. Our hives.

[Daniel Tosh]

How do you ship a bee in the mail overnight? Okay, if I want to get a queen. What's that going to set me back?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

About 35, 40 bucks.

[Daniel Tosh]

For one queen? For one bee, man, that's a good business, too. Every hive has. What's the range?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

When they're small, they have about 30,000 bees, and then they'll grow up to 150,000 in the spring.

[Daniel Tosh]

And how do you know this?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

You can weigh them by the pound. Bees by the pound.

[Daniel Tosh]

The amount of honey that they need, that they have to produce for themselves is what, how much?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

We set our beehives up to weigh about 200 pounds. That's bees, babies, and honey. Once they weigh 200 pounds, that's enough to get them through a year. And then everything they make on top

[Daniel Tosh]

of that is for us, a good hive. How much honey are they producing weekly? How often do you go in there? We go monthly.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

We go weekly into the hive, but we measure our harvest annually. And so we're hoping to get 2, 300 pounds of Hive, up to 500 in a good year. I've seen a thousand, but that's pretty rare. We need a lot of rain for that. And all the honey production is based on rainfall.

[Daniel Tosh]

So are you looking forward to this big old super El Nino?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is that good?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

That's good. That's great.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, that's interesting, huh?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And if we have a big year, we stock up barrels of honey and we make sure we have enough to get through the dry years.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is it true that honey never goes bad?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Never goes bad? Found it in the Egyptian pyramids. It was still good.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's true. Yeah, I believe you, but I'm not going to check it out. I'm not going to. I'm not going to fact check you. I'm just going to say that's true.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Can be.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do they recognize each other?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

They can smell each other, if they're from the same hive or not.

[Daniel Tosh]

Death. Do they care about death? When somebody.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So there's a hierarchy of bees. When they're born, they're. They live in the house, they clean, they take care of the babies. They move the honey around to where they need it. When they get a little older, they become guard bees and they guard the door. They make sure no invaders are coming. And the oldest bees are foragers, and they go out looking for nectar and pollen every day. And then they come home, and they just don't come home one day.

[Daniel Tosh]

If they only live 28 days, what's considered an older one?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

10, 20 days old? 15 days old?

[Daniel Tosh]

So hard to think about life if you only live 28 days. I don't want to sound like an idiot. Good luck. But how does a bee make honey?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So how the bees do it is they'll fly to a flower, they suck up nectar, and that nectar is about 90% water. They use their proboscis to suck it out. It's their big honey tongue. And then they put it in their honey stomach. They'll fly back to the beehive and they spit it out and the other bees catch it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do they only do one suck or do they go to multiple flowers before coming back to the hive?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

If the flower is full of nectar, they can fill up on one. If there's not that much nectar, they have to go to multiple, and that's all dependent on rain. And then the bees will pass this ball of nectar back and forth around the beehive until they get about 70% of the water out. They dry it down to 15% water, more or less, somewhere between 8 and 20%. And then it's honey. And they'll store it away.

[Daniel Tosh]

Can be sting more than once, Just once.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Only the queen can sting more than once.

[Daniel Tosh]

And they do die immediately after being stung.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Pretty much. Pretty much within a few seconds. It rips their innards out.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do they know this?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

You know, I've always wondered that.

[Daniel Tosh]

I wonder if there's a way we could, you know, let them know.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I should have brought a bead interview.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, that's a good podcast. How much of your business is just pollinating?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So the pollination effectively pays for the bees care for the year.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And so the pollination pays for their care, their medications, their foods, their moving, their gas, their insurance, the honey production. The reason we sell at farmers markets is if you sell honey in a barrel, you only sell it for about $3 a pound. And we feel it's worth more than that. And so selling it at the farmer's market direct to a consumer, you get a high quality product direct from the beekeeper, and we charge a little more for it.

[Daniel Tosh]

How far will you travel with your bees to pollinate?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

We'll go all the way up to Fresno, Fresno Madera. We'll do almonds and oranges up there in February.

[Daniel Tosh]

Almonds is the big ticket item.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yes, Sir. Takes about 90% of the nation's beehives to pollinate the almond crop in California. And California produces 95% of the world's almonds.

[Daniel Tosh]

What do you exactly do? We pollinate the almonds.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

We move in two beehives an acre, and then they'll pay us about two hundred and some dollars a hive to leave them until the flowers are gone. And then they say, hey, the flowers are over. Get them out. We come in the night and we leave in the night.

[Daniel Tosh]

If you have someone that has a hive that they're renting from you in their backyard, do you take it for this almond season?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I don't. I leave it in their backyard because there's so much blooming in the city that they might be making honey during that time. And so we'll leave them in the yard and they. They're already working. They're already working. Girls.

[Daniel Tosh]

If you don't need honey or if you're not a big honey person but you want. What are. What's another reason for me to want a hive in my yard?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It's great for the environment. Bees are struggling. There's really no way to quantify how many wild beehives are dying every year from all of these diseases that are being transmitted between hives. And the best way to help bees is to have bees around and keep bees because the beekeepers, me is taking care of them, making sure there's no parasites and diseases in the hive and spreading that genetic, you know, those bee genetics in that area.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is there any regulations in any of the areas where I'm not. You're not allowed to have a beehive?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

There are some municipalities in LA that are anti bee, but generally Louisiana is pretty bee friendly. What about apartments on the roof?

[Daniel Tosh]

You're allowed to put them up there?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you have a beehive, John?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I don't, not yet.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, I feel like I'm gonna end up doing it. That's what annoys me. Same. Oh, man. Besides honey, what else is the bread and butter of the business?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So we do honey, pollen, beeswax, soap, lotion, lip balm and candles.

[Daniel Tosh]

What is your best selling honey?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Wildflower. Definitely wildflower. Because of the allergy benefits, wildflower honey has a little bit of pollen from a lot of different plants. And as long as it's within made within about 100 miles of where you live, it's probably got something that you're seasonally allergic to in it. And so taking a little bit of wildflower honey every day helps you get immune to your allergies.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. I have bad allergies and I know this. So that's not just made up by the bee community. No. This allergy thing.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

No, it really helps. I think my allergies are better.

[Daniel Tosh]

And what do you. How much honey do you ingest a day?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

A spoonful I put it in my yogurt.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know if I'm. I don't want to. I don't want to have yogurt every day.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Just a spoonful of honey.

[Daniel Tosh]

Fine. I'll figure a way to do it. You sell a 5 gallon jar of honey for $335. Care to explain yourself?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Hey, what do you want to use 5 gallons of honey for?

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Restaurants, bars, a lot of people use, you know, big quantities. And so we supply them.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's the point of buying a small jar of honey if it's going to last forever?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I don't know. I want to sell everyone a big jar.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's the current number of hives you're at?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Right now we're somewhere between 6 and 700 right now. Next year we're hoping to be 1000.

[Daniel Tosh]

And do you have capacity to continue to grow?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, yeah, yeah. We're set up to grow and grow. That's our goal.

[Daniel Tosh]

How much land do you have to keep them on?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

We're always looking for places to keep our bees. Anybody that has, you know, 10, 20 acres somewhere and is willing to host some beehives, we'll give them as much honey as them and their family can eat. And we'll set the bees there for as long as the flowers are blooming, maybe it's two months. And we'll bring them in with a forklift and a truck, set them down, maybe 50 or 100 hives. And when they're done making honey, we harvest the honey and take them to the next place where there's more honey to make.

[Daniel Tosh]

And now people that are wanting to do the just like a single hive at their house.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is that safe for if you have tons of kids Absolutely. Playing around? It does.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Absolutely. I think the kids should all know about bees and know that know about them.

[Daniel Tosh]

Great. But I mean, is it going to produce a few more stings things in

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

the yard, you know, I don't think so. I haven't had that experience with my clients.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Most of them like to get their kids bee suits and, you know, have them introduced to the bees and do a beekeeping day with us.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you go to schools?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I have.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is that fun?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It's not my favorite thing to do. I hear it really great with kids.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, that's what, that's what I want to hear from a new dad.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

My wife had to tell me that I can't tell the story about, you know, when the drone mates with the queen and she rips his dick off anymore because that was a little traumatic to the kids.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, but that does happen.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It does. It does. They only get one. They only get it once.

[Daniel Tosh]

Wow. You mate with the queen and then what does she rip it off with?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

She technically doesn't rip it off. It technically explodes when he ejaculates. And then.

[Daniel Tosh]

That sounds like John back there. He's got a weird penis thing that always is messing up the first thing

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

he showed me when I walked in.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's thirst is. What is it? Torst.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Torst. It's one wall. It's the penis. Penis is functioning.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, but the penis, it's got problems.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

He's got a pit groove too.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, so it explodes after it ejaculates.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah. And then her vagina will spit it out and she'll wait for the next one to come.

[Daniel Tosh]

Good grief. I got gang bang 30 times.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And then.

[Daniel Tosh]

Why didn't they show that in B movie?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I know. That was good content.

[Daniel Tosh]

It wouldn't have been a flop if you show that.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And then she stores up all that semen in her spermatheca. It's an organ inside her just for storing semen. And she dispenses a little bit onto each egg for the rest of her life. And when her spermatheca runs dry, the beehive says, well, you're worthless. And they make a new one. And she goes blind from the semen that has a compound in it that causes her to go blind. She goes blinded immediately after she fills up her spermatheca.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So then she flies back to the hive and that's why she doesn't leave.

[Daniel Tosh]

She doesn't make love in the hive.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

No, she doesn't. She wants strange. She wants different. Different drones from different hives. And that's how they keep the gene pool diverse.

[Daniel Tosh]

And they just all know, hey, there's a. Over here.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

They go to the drone mating area, and so they fly around in a cloud. It's actually really cool to see.

[Daniel Tosh]

But they don't die when their penises explode.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, they do they? Yeah. Immediately.

[Daniel Tosh]

You sting somebody, you die. You ejaculate, you die.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

That's the. It's the circle.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, it's not really a circle at all. It's just a short, tiny, straight line.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And then my wife also told me I couldn't show kids the B penis anymore. I thought that was really educational.

[Daniel Tosh]

Uh huh. Was it? Because it looked unusual.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It's really big for the size, like proportionally.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Because you can squeeze the drone and the penis pops out.

[Daniel Tosh]

Why would you do that well, you

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

can judge how much semen they have in their testes and see how the springtime is progressing. So if their testes are full of semen, that means that there's lots of resources out in the environment.

[Daniel Tosh]

This is like the most twisted groundhog shadow story I've ever heard.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Check this out, kids.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's gonna be a long summer. How can you tell, dad?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Well, so I have an employee that does the school talks.

[Daniel Tosh]

Now the swarm. You ever seen a swarm of bees?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, man, I love bee swarms. I caught a swarm on the golf course the other day.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you really? Yeah, Mid flight.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah. Exactly.

[Daniel Tosh]

What did you do? You just walk out there and start

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

jumping in the swarm pretty much like a crazy person.

[Daniel Tosh]

And you really do, like, look. How do you look for the queen

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

in that she's a little bigger. It's easiest to find him when they land. But I have snatched the queen before. I said, there she is. She's mine. And then you hold your hand up, and they'll all cluster on your hand.

[Daniel Tosh]

What are your thoughts on the guy that used to wear the big beard?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I've done him.

[Daniel Tosh]

You've done a beard?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I haven't put him on myself, but I've put them on lots of other people. We charge 2,500 bucks if you want a beard.

[Daniel Tosh]

People want to pay for this?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah. There's really a trick to it from a beekeeping standpoint. You have to basically tell that beehive that they're swarming. And then I bring them home, and I bottle feed them for three or four days on my kitchen counter. My wife loves that bottle feed. What, the bees?

[Daniel Tosh]

All of them?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

All of them.

[Daniel Tosh]

How do you bottle feed thousands of bees?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

They drink about a gallon of sugar syrup a day. If they're on your counter. Mm.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And they stick their proboscis, their little tongue in there, and they'll suck it out.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. And then now.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And then, they're fat and happy, and the queen's in her own little box. And we'll hang the queen on the actor's neck in a necklace. And then we dump the bees in their lap, and they all crawl up their chest, and they'll be on their face, and we'll kind of sculpt the beard a little bit to make sure it gets all, you know, beardy. And we've done that. I've done some wild photo shoots. I did one over here in Topanga with a purse designer, and this poor woman, she didn't know she was getting bees. Put on her.

[Eddie]

This model.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And they said, all right, get naked. We're putting bees on you. And they laid her in the grass and said, dump the bees on her. And I said, okay. I'm so sorry.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, what a gig.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah. She said she wasn't getting paid enough.

[Daniel Tosh]

No. But how about you?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

That was fun.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Big Sean got a bee beard.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, Big Sean getting a b beard. You want a bee beard, Ed?

[Eddie]

No, I do not.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Why not? You'd have to shave your beard to get a beard.

[Daniel Tosh]

You have to shave. They can't be in his regular beard.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

They get upset with the beard.

[Daniel Tosh]

We don't want to do that. We don't want to upset them.

[Eddie]

Dylan.

[Daniel Tosh]

Dylan. We'll get you a bee beard.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I'll do it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, I'm sure you'll do it. You're drunk.

[Eddie]

He's drunk and full also. He's sweet.

[Daniel Tosh]

People really steal beehives?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, yeah. It's a big problem.

[Daniel Tosh]

This like a new thing, or has this been going on?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It's been going on for hundreds of years.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's like stealing copper from people's acs.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, yeah. And they'll. They look like beekeepers. They'll show up with forklifts and trucks, just like a beekeeper would. And they'll show up in the orchard, they'll pick up your beehives, and they'll take them somewhere else. And they usually are stealing them to rent them out to another farmer. And they'll rent them to that farmer, and then they'll disappear.

[Daniel Tosh]

And you. How do you. And you stop this?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I put air tags in them.

[Daniel Tosh]

But you can hear an air tag when. When you track it.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

It beeps.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

The bees, they'll. They'll mummify it in there. They'll entomb it in propolis. And if you put enough air tags in the load, you know, they steal 100 beehives. They have to go looking for all these little air tags inside the beehives. So throw air tags in them. And the sheriff goes out and says, hey, what you doing, man? And a lot of arrests are made every year for people rustling beehives.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's what I try to do with my kids with the air tags. But I can never find a good enough hiding spot on.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

They make a shoe now.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, a spot in the shoe.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's good.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I got a runner.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, it's just all I think about.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Cause I don't have the special set of skills to get my kids back.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I gotta track em, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

Right. I'm all for microchipping them. What about the bear? You like that little bear?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I like the bears.

[Daniel Tosh]

Grocery stores.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is that garbage honey, though?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It depends on the brand.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, is the bear not copyrighted to a specific brand?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

No, we have bears.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, you got bears too?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

We sell bears.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, good.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

All the beekeepers have bears.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do bears actually like honey?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

They actually eat the babies. They're a big problem for us. We build electric bear fences around most of our bee yards. In bear areas.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, only in bear areas. Gotcha.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

But you know, right here in the Santa Monica mountains, bears are a problem. I just got a call last week from, hey, the bears came through my bee yard. What do I do?

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't want that. Are they attracted to it? Can they smell it from distance?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

No, but if they walk by and they say, hey, that's a beehive, they'll eat it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, now I'm not having bears walk by my yard. Were you a fan of hunting at Cheerios growing up?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, absolutely. With extra honey?

[Daniel Tosh]

With extra honey.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

No, there's not enough on it. They're stingy.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, yeah, there's plenty. There's plenty.

[Eddie]

You can taste it.

[Daniel Tosh]

You put honey on your cereals?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I put honey on my Cheerios.

[Daniel Tosh]

You don't eat honey in a Cheerios either.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I didn't even know there was another type of Cheerios.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, really?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I thought there was only honey nut. My wife bought these Cheerios for our baby and I was like, what are these disgusting Cheerios you bought,

[Eddie]

Like, packing penis?

[Daniel Tosh]

I tell you what you need. Apple Jacks.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, baby, I love Apple Jacks. Put some honey on there.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, that's not gonna work. Is big honey a thing? Is the stuff in grocery stores? No good.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

There's beekeepers and then there's honey packers and big beekeepers. They all care about the honey and the bees, and that's what they're about. They want to make high quality honey and have healthy bees. Because if the bees are healthy, their business is good. So beekeepers are really in it for the bees. We love our bees. We're all kind of bee nerds. Honeypackers are some of the larger honey packer brands are about the bottom line. And what you want to look for is a local honey made by a beekeeper. Some of the stuff in the grocery stores, you'll notice it says, you know, US honey, but if you read the label, it says product of US and Argentina. And there's not a lot of standard on how much has to be US honey and how much is Argentinian honey or Vietnamese honey or wherever there's a trade. What do they call it? An embargo on Chinese honey.

[Daniel Tosh]

What do they cut it with? They cut it with rice syrup. Oh, look at that.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

They cut it with rice syrup.

[Daniel Tosh]

I knew they were going to do something shady. You just can't trust them.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And so they'll transship honey through other small countries and relabel it as Malaysian honey. So trans shipped honey is a big problem for the industry. And I tell people the best way to get good honey is to get it from the farmer's market or from a local honey company.

[Daniel Tosh]

It seems like bees are so popular now, yet you're still. They're still taking a hit.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah, we got big problems in the bee industry. Last year we lost about 60% of the beehives in the country.

[Daniel Tosh]

How do you lose 60% in a year? Those? The mites. What are those?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

The mites. The mites kill the bees. The worst.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's 60%?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yep. And the national average, year over year is 30%.

[Daniel Tosh]

How do we recover from a 60% loss?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So commercial beekeepers today, as opposed to 40 years ago or 30 years ago, before. The mites are really good at growing beehives. Our whole industry revolves around taking up one beehive, taking half the bees out and putting them in another box, giving them a new queen bee and making two beehives. And we'll make two to three beehives out of one hive every year just to try to keep up and maybe grow.

[Daniel Tosh]

Mm. This is constant work. You just never get to, like, take. You take days off?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I do. Oh, I do take. I take Sundays off.

[Daniel Tosh]

But there's farmers markets on Sundays.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I have a crew working on Sundays. Yeah. So someone's working.

[Daniel Tosh]

What time does your workday start?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

5.

[Daniel Tosh]

5am yeah.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, whenever the sun comes out.

[Daniel Tosh]

I know. It's so early. What time do you go to bed at night?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

10, when the baby stops screaming.

[Daniel Tosh]

Does the baby stop? Yeah, you're out of the bad window.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

She's two. She just stopped. Knock on wood.

[Daniel Tosh]

She's. But. And she still naps.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

She does nap.

[Daniel Tosh]

She take a two hour nap.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

She's a two hour girl.

[Daniel Tosh]

Good. She down by 8pm?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

No, she's up till 10 last night.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, that's. Oh, that's no good. No, I'm not going to lie.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

She SCREAMS Daniel.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, listen.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

SCREAMS.

[Daniel Tosh]

There's got to get a. Got to get a thick door. Why does smoke calm bees?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So bees communicate through pheromones and when we smoke them, it interrupts their pheromone communication. So they can't say, hey, sting this MFer. And they are pretty chill. We give them a puff of smoke. Everyone's okay, we can get in there, do what we need, and get out.

[Daniel Tosh]

Can you put any kind of smoke in there?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Pretty much.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. Can bees get high and is it okay if they get high?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Bees can get high. I have heard beekeepers that prefer the marijuana smoke. It's not my thing.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I prefer the natural, you know, just burlap or grass or pine cones.

[Daniel Tosh]

Probably cheaper.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It's way cheaper than marijuana.

[Daniel Tosh]

What do you do with dead bees? What are they doing?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Bees take care of them. There's mortician bees. It's one of the jobs of the hive. If someone dies in the hive, they pick them up and they haul them out. And you'll actually see a bee flying out of the beehive every now and then carrying one of their sisters. And they pull them out and drop them in the bushes.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. Are you all in on bees? Do you do silly things? Do you wear bee outfits? Do people buy you stuff that you like?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

People buy me a lot of bee stuff.

[Daniel Tosh]

And you're like, I don't need this.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

We had a baby about two years ago, and you would not believe how many bee themed baby things live in our house.

[Daniel Tosh]

Has your baby been stung yet?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

A lot of times. And we don't even have bees at the house.

[Daniel Tosh]

Why is that funny?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

She tries to pet him.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, you can't let your daughter pet bees.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Well, how could I say no? I do it well.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, there's a lot of things that you do that I'm sure you don't want your daughter to do. Why can't children under one year eat honey?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

There's a risk of botulism. Botulism Spores are transmitted in, like, dust, and they can survive in honey. And so you could, in theory, have botulism in honey and not know it and feed it to a child. It's pretty rare. It's like, really rare.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

But better safe than sorry.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did your daughter taste honey before? She was a year maybe. Okay. Southern comedians. Okay. You know killer bees?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, the comedian. Oh, no, no, He's a Southern comic. He's Save Up.

[Eddie]

Save Up.

[Daniel Tosh]

Save Up. You ever been to Alabama? Save up. He just does his bit over and over. It's like, oh, yeah, Save Up. Yeah. You get it. His name's Killer Bees. Now, the other comic, the other Southern comic I once opened when I was a real young kid for Milo Tremley. Hey, he was a Southern guy. And then he always had songs and props and he's like, don't mess with my nipple ring. Or I don't remember. But he'd like pull his shirt up, have his big stupid nipple ring on. That's not part of it. What's interesting is that he drove around in a van that he made look like a big bee. It had a plunger stinger out the back of it, and it said don't worry, be happy on the back of it. And I just was like this. And I just remember I was sitting in Nashville opening for this guy, and I was just like, what am I doing with my life? This guy's driving. This guy's driving around in this van. I don't know.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, that's what I need. I need a plunger on the back of my van.

[Daniel Tosh]

Where were you at on the other? Stinging. Like the wasp.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I'm not into wasps.

[Daniel Tosh]

You don't? Do you care about that?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

These are my thing. Wasps. Kentucky.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's the.

[Eddie]

Isn't yellow jackets?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yellow jackets look just like bees, but they don't serve a purpose.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I'm not into it.

[Daniel Tosh]

They don't pollinate anything. So it's okay if I get rid of them, right?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I mean, they do pollinate. They do.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, shit.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

But not like bees, okay? Bees are prolific pollinators and they will pollin and they will make more honey than they need. They'll make honey for next year and the year after that. They'll make more honey than they can ever eat. Wasps, yellow jackets, you know, the other pollinators, butterflies, they just. They're hand to mouth. They go and they look for what they need and they eat it.

[Daniel Tosh]

What are hummingbirds doing? Just, you know, just eating.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Looking beautiful.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know. They're always playing with the flowers. I didn't know if they had a purpose other than just being pretty. We'll be right back. Paw Show. Everybody's on the show gets a gift. Okay. First thing I wanted to give you is this. This is from our friend over here. Does car washes buzz wax?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, thank you.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, then this.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, that's. That's fitting.

[Daniel Tosh]

This is for your daughter. I'm done with this.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

What is it? Oh, it's a. It's a toilet. It's a put on your toilet. Shitter's full, Clark.

[Daniel Tosh]

You put it on your toilet.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

She's potty trained.

[Daniel Tosh]

Good.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

One year old. She's gonna love this.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. You put that.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did she unfold through? What else?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I Got for her through the hole. That's a big bag.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got stuff like this. You got to come home with stuff. You just give it to her.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, that is so creepy, Daniel.

[Daniel Tosh]

What are you talking about?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

What am I talking about? It's a baby.

[Daniel Tosh]

She's gonna love it.

[Eddie]

Look at.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

She's gonna love it.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's stuff.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

There's some. Oh, my gosh.

[Daniel Tosh]

Has she been in a tutu or ballet outfit yet?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, she loves the ballet.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, good. We got some ballet outfits.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, my gosh.

[Daniel Tosh]

My daughter.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

She's gonna love it.

[Daniel Tosh]

What about gymnastics? We got some gym gymnastics outfits. Those will be cute. And then a hat. We got to keep her out of the sun. Oh, does she like unicorns?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

She does now. I'm going to tell her it's a stinger.

[Daniel Tosh]

Doesn't matter. Tell her it's a stinger. All right. You watch sports?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I don't.

[Daniel Tosh]

Get this off my desk. Get this on my desk.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah, See, I was thinking. What am I going to do with this? I'm just going to throw it on the floor. I'm going to do this.

[Daniel Tosh]

We'll help you later.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Okay. This is so creepy.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, it's not. It's just a doll notice. Sports.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I. I don't understand sports none. I kind of get baseball and golf, you know, I can understand. I like hot dogs, so I like baseball.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, you like baseball. I thought you were gonna. Sorry, we're just on the heels of the fourth of July. I thought you were like, I like hot dog eating contests.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

You look like the fourth of July. No, it's just because you want a hot dog real bad.

[Daniel Tosh]

Joey Chesnut broke his personal best this year, guys. 17,000.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I see you're in a fishing audio.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, anyway, listen, I want you to have this because it's really gonna be a good year. Miami Heat are getting. I want you to jump on the bandwagon. They're getting a lot of great players now.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I'm a Miami Heat fan.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, you're gonna love that.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I love it. Thank you.

[Daniel Tosh]

Please get that on the floor. You brought some stuff here. I did, but. Do not scratch my dad. I know.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I'll hand it to you.

[Daniel Tosh]

I know it's a wood crate. I will just. I'm scared of. Oh, look at how cute this is.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So we got some. Some of our different products. We make candle soaps, lotions, lip balms. In the back, we have a honey tasting flight.

[Daniel Tosh]

What do you think of Burt's?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Bert's a good guy. Burt got screwed man, there was a documentary about Burt. I felt bad for Burt.

[Daniel Tosh]

I didn't. I don't even know what happened to him. What happened to him?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It's called Burt's Buzz. Burt's wife screwed him out of his name.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, so she's the one that reaped all the benefits.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, yeah. And then she, like, paraded Bert around

[Daniel Tosh]

for years, and he wasn't into it. Oh, I gotta look into this.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Bert just wanted to play with his bugs.

[Daniel Tosh]

I didn't know that. So you guys make your own lip balm?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Make our own lip balm.

[Daniel Tosh]

Candles.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Candles, soaps, lotions.

[Daniel Tosh]

All kinds of stuff from our hive to your home. Natural beeswax, soap. Do you say bar of soap or bar soap?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I say bar of soap.

[Daniel Tosh]

See, I say bar of soap, too. Yeah, but it's bar soap.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Is it really?

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, I don't know that it's. It's official, but I think it's bar soap. I don't like it either. What are these tins?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

These tins are hand lotion.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So it's a balm, so you can take it out and rub it in your hands. And it's all natural, so there's none of the, you know, kind of crazy stuff that's in the products in the store.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's the shit? What's that green tin that I have?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, the worker hands. O', Keefe, o'. Keeffe.

[Daniel Tosh]

Some version of that. This is. This is a.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

This is the natural.

[Daniel Tosh]

This is a balm.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Will it smush if I press into it?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Poke it. And so we do them in these tins, like, with, like, these little pucks. Because a lot of people, like, take it out and use the warmth of their hand to get it on them. So it's kind of fun.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm gonna use it.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

And it's just another thing to do with the beeswax. The beeswax, it's part of the honey extracting process. We slice a little piece of honeycomb open, and we have this beeswax left over. So we make candles and lotions and all kinds of stuff with it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Garden roses. The scent. Oh, here it is. Lavender. What is the other one? Vanilla bean. Oh, man, this is gonna work for me.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I'm like a drug dealer.

[Daniel Tosh]

You know what I like about this? Here's my little. I keep a hand balm handy. Okay. And you keep this in your car. I don't have to worry about the heat, like, turning it to just complete the thinnest liquid ever. Hand balms just completely Melt to nothing. I don't think. I don't think I'm selling it the right way, but I know that this is gonna work for me in my life. It's not for everybody's problem. It's just for my problem. I love it. What is this thing over here? This is. Oh, these are fancy honeys.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

These. So this is our honey tasting flight. This is all of our local honey.

[Daniel Tosh]

I love doing this at the Farmers. Do you have to give it away to kids? You give them a free stick every time.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

We don't.

[Daniel Tosh]

You don't give them free sticks.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

We charge them two bucks a pack.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. Okay, good. When I see kids, I'm like, I don't want to ask for anything because I see, like, sometimes they'll give out a stick. I'm like, I don't want to. Let's just buy something.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

This is my favorite soap. This smells like Irish Spring.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, who fucking wants to?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I love Irish Spring. I'm an old man.

[Daniel Tosh]

Dude, you're an old soul. I mean, it smells nice to me, but I don't like. When you said Irish Springs. I didn't like that. What is this one?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Cranberry sage.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

My wife might like it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It's kind of frilly.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, you don't know what my wife's into. Okay. She's real butch.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I still like the Irish Spring.

[Daniel Tosh]

Here's a tasting flight, you guys, of honey.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Those are kind of fun.

[Daniel Tosh]

How different does honey taste?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So they're actually all super different. A lot of times what we'll do is we'll line them all up and we'll do it like a sommelier. Get wine glasses and knows the different scents. And the sage is my favorite. I don't tell that to people. I probably shouldn't say it on a podcast, but I'm going to anyway.

[Daniel Tosh]

Sage is your favorite?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Sage is my favorite, but it's one of the hardest ones for us to make. It's kind of a specialty honey for us. And we make. We don't make the most of it every year, so I try to push, you know, other honeys that we make a little more of. But I sure love it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you do. My dad always would just do toast with butter and honey. Oh, yeah, that was his move.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

A little bit of sourdough toast, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, now you're talking my language. I can do that. That's my world. This is real nice. Well, thank you. Am I supposed to. Am I supposed to chug one of these, by the way?

[Eddie]

Do These have to be.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do I have to cut the top of it?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

I hate doing that.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Need a knife?

[Daniel Tosh]

No. Do you keep a knife on you at all times? You're a real man.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, it's not a knife.

[Daniel Tosh]

Let me see your knife. I'll bring my knife out.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I won't set it on your table though.

[Daniel Tosh]

This? This. I only have this knife.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, that's pretty.

[Daniel Tosh]

An old Swiss Eddie bought me this 20 some odd years ago. It's the only gift I've ever not re gifted. I have it with me at all times. I never lose it. What are these sticks? What are kids supposed to do with this?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

You just suck the honey out of them.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't even know how to eat these things.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

So if you bite the end of it, not the flat way but the vertical way between your two front teeth, it should pop right open.

[Daniel Tosh]

Uh huh.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

There you go.

[Daniel Tosh]

When's the last time you just sucked some honey?

[Eddie]

Hmm? I mean, like, I might never have done this.

[Daniel Tosh]

You suck it at the farmer's market.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah, I'm good.

[Eddie]

You do this.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I've got children. Every time we go to the farmers market.

[Daniel Tosh]

I have children too. I ignore them when they ask for shit.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I'm like a drug dealer, man. They can't. They can't walk by first time. I love this honey. This is my guy.

[Daniel Tosh]

How much am I supposed to inject?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Oh, man, you're getting a sugar rush.

[Daniel Tosh]

You are going to get a. That's the thing. You get such a sugar rush.

[Eddie]

It's pretty funny to be like, how

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

much do I drink?

[Eddie]

You can say three sticks.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

My whole business is a sugar rush, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

There you go. Oh, there you go. Squeeze the honey out. There you go.

[Daniel Tosh]

I already feel my allergies are better.

[Eddie]

There you go.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

You look, the color's back in you.

[Daniel Tosh]

What if I just kept doing this till it was all gone? What's the most. That should be a contest. Do you think anybody could chug that?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

I'd be impressed. I don't know how many calories is in a jar.

[Daniel Tosh]

When you do this stuff at the farmer's Market, you don't have to put all the stuff back there.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

The nutrition facts, no Farmer's Market. We're fully in compliant when we go into stores. We do other stores around town. We have honey at the airport even.

[Daniel Tosh]

Which airport?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

LAX and Burbank, never been there. And so we do honey around town, you know, gourmet shops. And we're at the Grove. We've got a couple of stores at the Grove. That sell our honey.

[Daniel Tosh]

But if honey is only supposed to be, like, you're supposed to have local honey, then you. You're not looking for world domination.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

Right. Like your business is just Southern California.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Yeah, that's kind of our main. Our main thing. We ship nationwide because honey is so different across the nation. You know, a sage honey doesn't taste like a tupelo honey, and so an orange blossom. You know, you're only making orange blossom honey in California and Florida. And so if you like orange blossom honey, you got to have it shipped.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right? You got answers. That makes sense. So people can get your honey everywhere. They just go to your website. Is that.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

They do billsbees.com.

[Daniel Tosh]

billsbees.com. Look at Bill. And meanwhile, Bill is just on a boat.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

He sailed off in the sunset doing

[Daniel Tosh]

God knows what with your father right now. Jeremy, thanks for being on the show.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

It was a pleasure, friend.

[Daniel Tosh]

Appreciate it. Paw show. I want to thank Jeremy for being on the show. Man, that guy knows a lot about bees. Big guy with the bees knows everything. You imagine ejaculating and then immediately dying. No, that sounds amazing.

[Eddie]

This. You're done.

[Daniel Tosh]

That sounds like one of those parties in the Hollywood hills I've never been invited to hear about.

[Eddie]

You.

[Daniel Tosh]

You go there, you. You ejaculate, and you die. Oh, that sounds awesome. Well, good for him. Fascinating stuff. Hey, we have a new sponsor to the show.

[Eddie]

All right.

[Daniel Tosh]

Want to know who it is?

[Eddie]

I do.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's nail on head. They finally came to us, and we're like, yeah, we've been waiting for the call. We're the right. We're the right show for your website, Kalshee.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, what's more fun than trading on our future,

[Eddie]

which is predicting the future.

[Daniel Tosh]

I tell you what, I could clean up on Kalshee if I were from the future, because I remember every single outcome of every sporting event election. You can predict the price of the crunchwrap supreme, which I don't think I would be allowed to do since I once worked for Taco Bell. But I'll be honest, honest with you, I don't think they care. Currently, I don't think there's anything about me on Kalshee's website that you can predict. What I'd like, though, is maybe an over under on how long until I shit my pants.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

Then. Then you would probably say, oh, I bet Daniel's just going to put a ton of money on the under and go home and shit his pants. No, because that would be inside My pants trading. You can't do that. See, Kalshee, this is the content you get when you sign with a winner. Normal. We're going to start an account, too. A toss show account. I'm going to fund it. Not a lot. I'm going to give all of you access. And by all of you, I don't mean you guys. I mean the people that work here. Eddie, Pete, Dylan, John Dylan. We're going to put a breathalyzer on your computer. You don't do any late night crazy wagers, but yeah, we'll just start predicting away. I'd like to know how long people think this podcast will keep going. What are your predictions?

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

17 years.

[Daniel Tosh]

17 years? You're talking about shattering the tosh point zero record.

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

Like, we go 20, we're out.

[Daniel Tosh]

I can predict for certain we will go through next August. Past next August. I can't. I can't guarantee anything.

[Eddie]

So there's where it becomes fun.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm on a real heater lately as far as not crapping my pants. I don't want to talk about it. I'm not Cal Ripken, you know, I'm not talking about those type of numbers, but I'm, you know, more like Joel Embiid Games played Numbers. Guys. This segment was brought to you by Kalshee. I look forward to a long, financially irresponsible relationship with them.

[Eddie]

Yep, me too.

[Daniel Tosh]

Now onto our regular plugs. Patreon.com tosshow that. That site just gets more and more content every week. My first farewell tour is in its victory lap. Make sure you come out to the remaining fall shows. Tossshowstore.com get your merch now. Play the music. Let's do it. They love me. They love me not. What do you got for me, Ed?

[Eddie]

I can't express to you how much I enjoy your podcast. I was in the middle of a mental breakdown when my son told me about it. We used to watch Tosh Point O together. This podcast is so wholesome and smart and hilarious. It really helped to drag me out of the sad hole I was in. I mean, your show and the four medications I'm on now. Thank you, your depressed, appreciative friend, Sue.

[Daniel Tosh]

Sue. I mean, that's great. That's what we do the show for. Well, thank you, Sue. What now? Let's bring it down a notch, right? They love me, not you.

[Eddie]

Bring on the ICU nurse for when your body fails you this year because you're so old and depressed from your terrible show. Ended.

[Daniel Tosh]

Already ended. And the show or end my life.

[Eddie]

I mean, maybe your life.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, is it clear? Not necessarily. If it's just end my show that I can't end the show? Buddy, you just heard Sue's only alive because of my show and her four medications.

[Eddie]

Right?

[Daniel Tosh]

But if it's end my life, well, then we should do that on the podcast, too, because I bet you that would. I bet John would get excited about that move the needle. He'd be like, oh, he'd still send five or six, you know, back and forths about what we should title it to get the most traction, because I

[Jeremy (Bill's Bees Owner)]

do that all the time.

[Daniel Tosh]

My. Whatever. Fuck that guy. See you next week.