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Ryan Seacrest
Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide, and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn more@discover.com credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report, you're a hustler.
Jennifer Lopez
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Daniel Tosh
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Ryan Seacrest
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Daniel Tosh
Everyone who stayed behind during the WLE fire saved their house. I couldn't because I was in Vegas doing a charity show. What was your excuse for not saving my house?
Sergio
I got scared.
Daniel Tosh
Posh show. Posh show. Posh show for show. Welcome to Tosh Show. Eddie, how are you?
Daniel's Son
I'm doing good.
Daniel Tosh
My son's here. Hit him with a hooty hoo. Woo. He's not here. We just recorded that. Whenever I'm out in a crowded area, I'll just say to my son, just real quiet, I'll just whisper to him, I'll say, hey, hit him with a hootie hoo. And he'll just scream, hooty hoo. It just makes me laugh. Usually makes people laugh around us. So now I'm gonna do it on the show. I'm gonna start using it. Hit him again. Oh, guess what.
Daniel's Son
What?
Daniel Tosh
I was going to the bathroom the other day. Okay, okay. This is not a poop story, so calm down. I was going to the bathroom and I found a tick crawling around on my waistline. Yeah, A real tick. And I'm like, it hadn't burrowed in. Now, I noticed a few weeks ago, I went on a little rant about Lyme disease and how they have to be in you for 36 hours. And people told me I was way off. Those ticks, those deer ticks can be so tiny that you don't even notice that they're on you. You don't feel it or anything like that. They're like a speck. This tick is what I'm familiar with, which is basically a dog tick. And they don't. I looked it up. They don't carry Lyme disease, but they. If they bite you and start going in, you're going to feel it. Okay. That's when you take a match head and touch them on the butt and make them back up. I don't know how it works. Anyway, I had a tick crawling around on me. That's Carl's fault. I think they live on the. I got a lot of rabbits on the property. They carry a lot of ticks is what I'm told. Oh, well, Is that a pig thing? No, I don't think it's a pig thing. I mean, it could be. Listen, I'm living on a farm.
Daniel's Son
Yeah, you got a farm going on over there?
Daniel Tosh
Yeah. Guess what?
Daniel's Son
What?
Daniel Tosh
I'm going to start working out. I think. I think I am. Okay, well, here's. I know people look at me. And they say, that guy, what, he doesn't need to work out. His body looks perfect.
Daniel's Son
Handsome.
Daniel Tosh
Well, just chiseled.
Daniel's Son
Chiseled.
Daniel Tosh
But here's the problem. I've been driving recently, and I've been feeling my stomach in, tits, shaking in the car. You ever ride on a road that's got, like a bump every few seconds, and then all of a sudden you're just like. You're just like, oh, I'm just jiggling while I'm driving. This is making me feel really like. It's making me feel bad about myself. Everything's a little loose. Yeah, I was just like. I'm not talking about rumble strips. I'm talking just natural, uneven pavement that's making me shake while I'm driving. And I'm. And I'm grossed out by myself. I'm like, I gotta tighten this all up. So I'm gonna give it a shot. What are you gonna do? Right now? I'm gonna try to just eat less and play more. Like, a lot of times when I play with my kids, I kind of facilitate the games. And I think now I'm gonna get myself more involved. I'm going to physically get involved. Normally, if they're, like, kicking a ball, you know, I don't really hustle. I think I'm going to start hustling and see if I can stop my tits and stomach from shaking while I'm driving over a bridge. A bridge is where you get those seams in the road and you're just like, oh. And when you feel it, you're like, oh, that's not that. That's new. I don't like it. Speaking of dad bods, my buddy's on the show today. My favorite Spaniard. This. Let me tell you something about today's guest. This guy has been in my life for eight years, but, like, every day for eight years. And my wife hated it. She was. She couldn't stand how much I. How much time I spent with him. All right, listen, the heart wants what the heart wants. Enjoy. Hi, Daniel. Tosh here. Now, you may know me as a comedian and a podcaster, but I'm also an entrepreneur. So I know firsthand that starting a new business can be overwhelming, thanks to all the hats you suddenly have to learn to wear. But lucky for me, we had Shopify to help. Shopify is a commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all E commerce in America, from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. When you use Shopify. Your company doesn't need to hire its own design studio or marketing team. They take care of everything with ready to use templates, social media campaigns and AI tools for content creation. They have tons of experience in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com tosh turn your big business idea into With Shopify on your side, go to shopify.com tosh that's shopify.com tosh.
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Daniel Tosh
My guest today has built my home in Malibu twice because the first one burned down. He's a surfer, a builder, an architect, and my favorite Spanish person not yet to be deported. Please welcome Sergio. Hola. Como esta?
Sergio
Muy bien.
Daniel Tosh
No? Do you believe in ghosts?
Sergio
I do, actually.
Daniel Tosh
I know, yeah. You're from Spain.
Sergio
Yes.
Daniel Tosh
The beautiful village of. Where are you from? Malga. What is it?
Sergio
I was born in Malaga.
Daniel Tosh
Malaga, that's.
Sergio
That's where we were born. Because my. My hometown, it was too small back in the days to have a hospital or anything like that. So we were rushed to the main city, which was Malaga. And then after, you know, a couple of days, they take you to your village, you know, and that was Marbella. Marbella is a beautiful town.
Daniel Tosh
Marea.
Sergio
Marbella. Between. I actually live in another town to Estepona. Marbella. They're like 10 minutes away, you know.
Daniel Tosh
How close to the coast is that?
Sergio
That's right there. Like, I was raised right on the beach in the Mediterranean.
Daniel Tosh
And you could wave to the people in Africa.
Sergio
Yes, I could see Africa from my house. Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Now you are a builder. Like a manly builder.
Sergio
Yes. Real.
Daniel Tosh
A real builder. But you're also an architect.
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
How did you get into this? Because your father, who passed away a few years ago, a wonderful man, who was the butcher?
Sergio
Yes.
Daniel Tosh
In your hometown?
Sergio
Yeah, my family, we were butchers for. I mean, since 18 something, you know. Like, my great, great grandmother was already a butcher.
Daniel Tosh
She was a butcher.
Sergio
She was the butcher of the town. Like the butcher of the town. All the generations up to me, I was raised in the butcher, you know, cutting meat when I was a kid.
Daniel Tosh
And when you're in the family of a butcher, you. You're kind of royalty in the town.
Sergio
Yeah. I mean, you have the expensive stuff.
Daniel Tosh
You know, but every place that you went, they. They, like treated you guys with respect. Your family, because you.
Sergio
Yes.
Daniel Tosh
The restaurants, they would take care of you.
Sergio
Yeah. I mean, Marbella end up being like the Beverly Hills of Europe, like, super expensive.
Daniel Tosh
Didn't know that.
Sergio
All the celebrities will go over there. And my father specifically, at that time of the butcher, when it became really fancy, all the town. We served the meat to people from Onassis to the Kennedys, to the young Borg. You like tennis? So the youngborg Wedding. I remember as a kid taking the meat for his wedding.
Daniel Tosh
Did Nadal ever get to taste your.
Sergio
I'm 100% sure. So that was. That was where I was raised, you know? And then all of a sudden, I told my father that I wanted to be an architect. Really early on. I was 8 years old.
Daniel Tosh
Was he upset or was he like, no, this is good.
Sergio
No, he was happy. The only thing it was kind of interesting story here because I got my eye. I hit my eye with a rock playing with my friends. No, accidentally sounds like a hate crime. So I had a bleeding in my eye. So they had to take me to a hospital right away. And they actually flew me to Barcelona to the Barraquer eye doctor, which was one of the best still is for eye doctors in Europe, because I was losing my vision. I remember that night I arrived there, and my mother is holding me. I was like six years old, seven years old, you know? And my mother was explaining to me the building, and my eyes were closed. I cover everything. And my mother was explaining me these spiral stairs and things like that. And I say to my mother at that moment that I wanted to be a builder. I mean, an architect.
Daniel Tosh
Not if you're gonna go blind.
Sergio
And my mother was like, oh, yeah, sure. But end up being the barracker. Fixed my eyes and I went all over the world studying architecture. Study architecture in Seville.
Daniel Tosh
You went to a fancy school here in Los Angeles, too, right?
Sergio
Yeah, at Sci Arc.
Daniel Tosh
How many tests do you have to do to become an architect?
Sergio
I took 10 tests.
Daniel Tosh
You took 10?
Sergio
Yeah. I don't know.
Daniel Tosh
How many times did you fail them?
Sergio
I never failed it.
Daniel Tosh
You never failed a single test?
Sergio
No, never.
Daniel Tosh
And yet I know tons of people that take these tests. They can't pass a single one.
Sergio
Yeah, I did it all in one shot.
Daniel Tosh
Now, I interviewed a handful of architects and then a handful of builders. And you won because you're like, hey, I just want to surf every day with you.
Sergio
That was the main reason everything started, because you wanted to live right next to the job site.
Daniel Tosh
That's your nightmare, right?
Sergio
Yeah. This is the worst nightmare for a build, for a builder is to have.
Daniel Tosh
Their client live on the job site.
Sergio
That's like a. No, no.
Daniel Tosh
You have to understand that Sergio and I, every day. I would spend all day with him, like, for years.
Sergio
For years.
Daniel Tosh
Just, you know, and we would.
Sergio
Daniel, like, I would be working in the job site. I had a busy morning. Always. No, like, with the guys. There's probably like, 20, 30 guys working in the house. And Daniel is like, at 9am he's, like, testing me. When are we going surfing? You know.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, well, those are good days when I'm in a good mood. It's better. Better surfing than when I'm angry about stuff.
Sergio
And then I like, I can't go. Yeah, I need. I have a meeting. You know, I have this and that. And then Daniel will come up, you know, with like, barefoots in the job site, you know, come on, get your shoes on. You know.
Daniel Tosh
Well, we go surf for an hour or two now. Do you think that affected how long it took you to build my house?
Sergio
Obviously, you know, I mean, we're surfing.
Daniel Tosh
How come you can't actually predict how long projects will take?
Sergio
It's very complicated. There is too many things. Especially, you know, we. The kind of work we do is not usually people do in construction. We are in the company. We are like six, seven architects, and we each kind of take a project on and we are like, very focused on the design, on the detailing. So we go back and forth trying to get the idea of the project, you know, all resolved very nicely. And it's not. There is no shortcuts, you know, as you know. I mean, your house is a masterpiece of, like, detailing.
Daniel Tosh
No, that's not. I mean, a lot of times the project manager on a build site doesn't have the experience that you have. Yeah, I mean, that's fair, right?
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
I mean, when I was interviewing these guys, a lot of the project managers were a little too. I don't know what the word is. Like a redneck. A little too rough.
Sergio
Yeah, yeah. Real birdlers. Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Well, I don't know. It was like you just. And then you are surfer. When did you start surfing?
Sergio
I was 13 years old in Portugal. First thing I got in the world.
Daniel Tosh
But you're more of a. Just so people know, you're not a traditional shortboarder. You're. You're old school. You longboard. You like to ride first point in Malibu. You like to hang 10. You like to just pose. You do your thing. Yeah, we used to surf constantly. And then since you finished my job, I would argue that you have quit surfing, kind of.
Sergio
But it's going to be temporary. It's going to be temporary. I'm building my house now, too, so I'm like, super busy.
Daniel Tosh
You're building your house, by the way, he's building his house in an area in the mountains. It's beautiful. It's like there's not a lot built around there. But the reason that you pick this lot Was one day we were at the Old Place restaurant. Just coincidentally, at the same time, my wife and I. You were eating with your family there, and then my wife, you. What did my wife say to you?
Sergio
So I don't know if everybody knows the Old Place. It's really tiny, beautiful, western kind of building. No? And really loud inside. And I'm talking to Carly, your wife, and you're talking to Lorena, my wife.
Daniel Tosh
That's the way I like it.
Sergio
And Carly, you know, in the middle of all these sounds, she tells me, you should find a place to live around here, you know? You know, like in the movies, they do these. That they isolate the sound, you know, and they. All you listening is that very clearly in your ears, you know? And it came right into my brain, like, you know, she's right. This is where I should be living, you know. So after we have lunch in there and all that, we were leaving. And instead of making a ride towards the freeway to go back to Santa Monica, I told my wife, said, you know, why don't we make a left and see the neighborhood here? And we go make a left. One block away, there's a sign for sale of an empty lot. That was on a Sunday, and on Friday I owned the lot.
Daniel Tosh
Yep. You see that, you guys? My wife manipulated another man.
Sergio
Another man, Absolutely.
Daniel Tosh
I should bring this up real quick. Your wife way too attractive for you.
Sergio
Agree 100%.
Daniel Tosh
Ah, it's almost confusing now. She's. Is she half Mexican, half Chinese?
Sergio
Yes. Yes. Oh, she's gorgeous.
Daniel Tosh
She's a beautiful woman. Oh, does she ever say things to you like, hey, Sergio, why don't you.
Sergio
Maybe you need tune it up a little bit? No.
Daniel Tosh
Does she ever say, tune it up a little bit? Sure she does.
Sergio
Yeah. And I have to keep up, you know.
Daniel Tosh
Okay.
Sergio
It's. It's one of the difficult when there is such a difference in beauty. Let's say, you know, you gotta keep it up, you know?
Daniel Tosh
Well, and. But you. Are you keeping it up? You don't look as you. For a while there, you were looking like a sea lion. But now you're starting to get back into shape a little bit. Yeah, but you're not doing anything to get in shape, are you? No, no, of course not. Your brother, is he older or younger?
Sergio
He's a year and a half older.
Daniel Tosh
He's older than you, but yet looks 10 years younger than you. And he's just sexy. And he just lives in Spain and just. All the women love him.
Sergio
He's dangerously sexy. Like, I cannot introduce like to a happy couple. Like I'd be scared to like introduce you with your wife. You know, you have a beautiful relationship.
Daniel Tosh
Do you think you would take my wife?
Sergio
I think so. But the problem, it will be your wife that's the problem.
Daniel Tosh
Uh huh.
Sergio
They all questions like what I'm doing, you know, that I cannot take advantage of Mediterranean lover.
Daniel Tosh
You want to talk about a time my wife was infuriated with you? You might not remember. First of all, you once walked in on my wife changing. Do you remember that?
Sergio
Really?
Daniel Tosh
You saw her completely naked? Yeah, she remembers that.
Sergio
That happens, you know, when you're building a house and you're there all the time.
Daniel Tosh
You know, okay, this was a meeting that we had. The house was complete. But you know, there was things that we were going over, a punch list. So one time we're in our bathroom, we're having a meeting in our bathroom. Now you have to understand, our bathroom is not small. And there's a separate door for the water closet for the toilet. We're having a meeting in there, Me, you, and like four or five other men. And we're going over the punch list. And then about 10 minutes into the meeting, she finally just gives up and she comes out of the toilet. She'd been in there the whole time and we were in there having to meet and she was so embarrassed and so. And I got in so much trouble.
Sergio
I can't remember that too.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, I was like, well, we all know what you were doing in there. And she's like, well, I was, she was like. She was contemplating staying, but she knew this meeting was probably gonna go an hour. She's like. So she just walked out and she's like, you caught me.
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, that. She was furious about that. She also.
Sergio
Those things happen.
Daniel Tosh
Do you remember when she fell in the septic tank?
Sergio
Of course I remember that day.
Daniel Tosh
She fell into the septic tank.
Sergio
Because you know, the whole complexity of like we had the pool in one house next to the construction site. You were living in that guest house. So we were in the pool and.
Daniel Tosh
We weren't in the pool. We were talking up by the pool.
Sergio
Yeah, you and I were in the Jacuzzi.
Daniel Tosh
We were in the Jacuzzi.
Sergio
Yeah, we were in the Jacuzzi, talking, you know, about surfing, whatever. And. And your wife decided to go to the guest house.
Daniel Tosh
Uhhuh.
Sergio
And she just walk out, go to the guest house.
Daniel Tosh
The lid on the septic tank wasn't.
Sergio
Yes.
Daniel Tosh
But it slipped out from underneath her and she felt now ran out. This was A brand new septic tank that was clean and empty. But she fell up to like this and was holding herself. She was. And she was screaming for Sergio and Daniel to come help her.
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Because she didn't have the strength to get out. We're in the Jacuzzi, there's bubbles. We don't hear anything.
Sergio
No, no.
Daniel Tosh
And 15, 20 minutes later, she comes walking up all disheveled and. And says, I fell into the septic tank. She's crying.
Sergio
No way.
Daniel Tosh
And she storms away from us. She was so mad.
Sergio
Let you guys, you know.
Daniel Tosh
And then I found out a few weeks later that she was. She was pregnant and that I think that's what did it.
Sergio
Getting sometimes a little shocked by that helps, you know.
Daniel Tosh
Do you remember the time that you came back to the office and I had filled your trailer with. With gay pornography?
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Just so. So you come back to your office on a Monday morning and there's nothing but gay pornography.
Sergio
Yep. All throughout your, like all those posters, you know.
Daniel Tosh
You still have those posters?
Sergio
No, no, it was. It was very strange because I was actually leaving to Spain that day, I think, like, I was leaving early that day. I had another guy taking my place, you know, while I was going to Spain. And so the other guy is like, what's going on in here?
Daniel Tosh
You say, this is how I like it.
Sergio
Yeah. Well, if you feel uncomfortable, just take it down, you know.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, so you left it for him?
Sergio
Of course.
Daniel Tosh
That's nice. You remember that one time. These are like the little things I would do. What do we always say to keep it clean? The work site clean?
Sergio
Total Olympio. Total Olympio.
Daniel Tosh
Total Olympia.
Sergio
That's all that's in my head forever now.
Daniel Tosh
I just would scream, total Olympia.
Sergio
Total Olympio. Total Olympio. Total Olympio.
Daniel Tosh
Yes. I like to work site clean, but sometimes what I would do, I did this bit one time. I took a band aid, a used band aid of mine, and I had placed it somewhere on the floor in the work site. And then a moment or two later I went and got Sergio. And then we're walking around and then I'm like, sergio, look, there's like a band aid on the ground. And I picked it up and. And I ate it.
Sergio
Yes, I remember that. And that was so weird.
Daniel Tosh
And you were like, freaking out.
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
You're like, dog, dude. Oh, God. I'm like, if you're not going to clean up, I'm going to eat these things.
Sergio
Yeah. And he ate it.
Daniel Tosh
Well, yes, but it was my band aid, so Still a band Aid.
Sergio
I was like, oh, God, these guys.
Daniel Tosh
Those are just the silly things we did. Now, everyone who stayed behind during the Wley fire saved their house. I couldn't because I was in Vegas doing a charity show. What was your excuse for not saving my house?
Sergio
I got scared.
Daniel Tosh
I was.
Sergio
Yeah, I remember that. It was like, okay, the fire started. You were in Las Vegas and whatever. I came. Next day, the fire was coming closer. Everybody was leaving Malibu. There were a line under PCH going towards Santa Monica. Like, literally, like.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah.
Sergio
And I was driving the other way towards your house.
Daniel Tosh
You know, do you think if we would have stayed there, you and I, we could have stopped it?
Sergio
I think so. I needed you there with me.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, I should have. I. Listen, I was doing God's work. But you just started the very next day cleaning up. I've got photos of you in a Hazmat suit.
Sergio
Just.
Daniel Tosh
Just the next day. We didn't even wait for. For permits. And they. By time we had cleaned up, they were like, hey, do you guys have a permit to clean this up? And we're like, we're done.
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Most of the workers that build your homes are Mexican.
Sergio
Yes.
Daniel Tosh
Do they treat you differently because you're from Spain, or.
Sergio
No, I have the best relationship with the workers. Best relationship. I always take care of them a lot. I take it very serious.
Daniel Tosh
I love them. Well, so many of these guys that I got to meet now, I see them on other job sites.
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
So I just yell at them, you know, whenever I see them, and we have a good time. The concrete guys, they're intense.
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, I love those guys. The framing people. I don't care much about framing guys. Concrete framing people, they always just make mistakes. You build houses, and then you're just like. People are like, oh, yeah, yeah, we know that's wrong. We'll fix that later. Oh, Jesus. How many times have you been mad and we've been in screaming fights, you.
Sergio
Know, we had our things, but we probably. It's such an intimate relationship. I mean, I'm building in your house, you know, inside, where you basically are.
Daniel Tosh
All the time where I'm pooping or.
Sergio
You'Re pooping and you.
Daniel Tosh
Have you ever seen me poop outside?
Sergio
You have so many problems.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah.
Sergio
Do the people know this? Like, he has this. He can panic if he doesn't have a toilet, clothes, you know, but many times we are, like, getting ready to go surfing, you know, and I put my sweatsuit on, everything. I'm ready to go in the golf cart. And then we're like, okay, we're gonna go. And then all of a sudden, it's like Daniel turns pale, you know. Sorry, I gotta go. I gotta go. And then he just ran to the toilet, you know?
Daniel Tosh
Yeah.
Sergio
And I'm waiting. I'm waiting for him. And then finally he comes back, like, because he gets scared. Like, we're gonna go for two hours far away from the toilet, you know?
Daniel Tosh
No, the ocean is a huge toilet for me. One time we went surfing. You cut your foot like a. You know, whatever.
Sergio
Two inches.
Daniel Tosh
No, it was not a big cut.
Sergio
Or he had a. Oh, my God.
Daniel Tosh
It doesn't matter.
Sergio
Half of us, what's it.
Daniel Tosh
It's because you don't ever lose. You don't scrub your feet. You have too much dead skin down there. Anyway, it was a big cut. Fine, I'll let you have that. But what I'm not going to let you have is the rest of the story. You weren't feeling well, and you're like, can I. And I said, I'll just give you two Tylenol. Two extra Strength Tylenol. That's it. Nothing fancy. He starts.
Sergio
He tried to kill me.
Daniel Tosh
He starts freaking out. He goes, what?
Sergio
What?
Daniel Tosh
What did you give me? And I said, oh, two Tylenol. And he goes, let me see. Let me see the box. And I give him the box, and it says extra strength on it. And he goes, it says, extra strength. I don't take drugs. I don't take drugs. And. And he starts gagging himself. He starts gagging himself like he had taken some poison to make himself vomit to get the pills up, which he eventually did.
Daniel's Son
Oh, my God.
Sergio
Yes.
Daniel Tosh
He had never taken Tylenol before, which doesn't do anything anyway.
Sergio
Yeah, I don't take those things, you know. But you gave me two. It was an overdose. But that's what you did.
Daniel Tosh
Before you met me, had you ever heard of me before?
Sergio
No. Well, that doesn't mean anything. I don't watch the tv, too.
Daniel Tosh
No, it doesn't have anything. It's just very insulting.
Sergio
No, well, it's not. I don't know anything.
Daniel Tosh
Have you ever seen one of my shows?
Sergio
Little bit. Yeah. Not really.
Daniel Tosh
It's not your cup of tea. We hang out for seven or eight years. He's like, I'm not going to watch you. You're awful.
Sergio
I think you're very, very funny. I laugh with you so much.
Daniel Tosh
Where would you rank? My house and the projects that you've done?
Sergio
I think it's the best, you know, it's the best I ever done.
Daniel Tosh
Well, that's nice to hear, I guess.
Sergio
Because I had to do it two times. So the second time.
Daniel Tosh
Well, you had to do the main house twice, but we didn't.
Sergio
But, but the way it's detailed, very good architecture, you know.
Daniel Tosh
And you modeled your home after my, My guest house.
Sergio
Many, yes, many ideas, I have to say, you know, I, I have the, the privilege of working with the best architects and the best clients too, that they, they, they, they care about design.
Daniel Tosh
So you just steal their ideas.
Sergio
Little bit, you know.
Daniel Tosh
Okay, that's.
Sergio
We all do that.
Daniel Tosh
Okay. And then, and also speaking of stealing, how many things on your project right now for your home that you're building were actually at one point ordered for my house?
Sergio
They're going to take me to jail now.
Daniel Tosh
No, no, no. I'm the one that would have to say that there's a problem. I would be like, no, no, I didn't, I didn't need that. But then all of a sudden I see it. I go to your place and look at stuff and I go, hey, that looks familiar.
Sergio
Yeah, you're gonna see a lot coming.
Daniel Tosh
Sometimes my tile, my concrete tiles, you're like, you need to order more. And I'm like, are you sure that doesn't seem like that. And you say, no, no, you need more.
Sergio
And then I measure how much I.
Daniel Tosh
Need and then I, and then sure enough, what? One of your bathrooms is gonna have my same tile.
Sergio
I'm gonna put for. I have many tiles from you, but I have for your kitchen tile, those cement tiles that are so gorgeous. That's gonna go for sure. In my adu. I'm gonna make a wall out. Yeah. On my kitchen there.
Daniel Tosh
I like that.
Sergio
And it's gonna be amazing. And I have some more leftovers that I'm gonna see where I'm gonna put. I think I have other tiles that I, you know, I'm gonna use. In the main house, I saw a.
Daniel Tosh
Door that took off.
Sergio
Yeah, I have a whole door. My pedestrian door of the garage.
Daniel Tosh
Right. And that makes sense that you used it on a garage where we had. It was in a powder room. And it made it look like it was at a detective office because it was like smoked powder. You hated it.
Sergio
You hated it.
Daniel Tosh
And I was like, Carly and I were like, not a fan.
Sergio
I got toilets too.
Daniel Tosh
And you got toilets for me.
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Not the fancy one.
Sergio
The fancy one.
Daniel Tosh
You did get the fancy one.
Sergio
Yeah, it's like a five thousand dollar toilet.
Daniel Tosh
That's not my fancy one then.
Sergio
No. Well, the real fancy one that came later.
Daniel Tosh
Yes.
Sergio
Well, I. I have the one that. You didn't like it. You didn't like it because it left.
Daniel Tosh
Poop stains every time you went.
Sergio
Yeah. You know, it's like, what are you.
Daniel Tosh
Gonna do with that?
Sergio
It's okay.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, you know, your wife is gonna hate you for that one.
Sergio
You remember this story, huh? Like, I think you were in town or something. I don't know. You were working, traveling or something. And it's like, Dennis, like, calling me Sergio. Can you go and poop on my toilet and take a picture after you flash it?
Daniel Tosh
Okay. Because I wanted to make sure that she was clean.
Sergio
You know, like, it really flashes. Well, you know, this is, like. Okay. And, like, I'm on the job site. Okay, guys, I'm gonna poop in here.
Daniel Tosh
You know, you don't have to tell them. You can just go. Nobody's asking you. Was I a relatively easy person to work with?
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Really?
Sergio
I think.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, I didn't think you were gonna say that.
Sergio
Well, it's like, everything but a builder likes to be pumper, you know? Like. Like. And you are very good at that. Like, you trampering. Yeah. Pampering. Like. Like, take me out for incredible lunches. Remember those?
Daniel Tosh
Oh, man. Yeah. Back when I was trying to speed you up a little bit.
Sergio
Remember the C4? We got lobsters and everything.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah.
Sergio
And, like, that kind of thing, you know, we builders love that, you know, that kind of treatment, you know?
Daniel Tosh
I know, but now I can't even get you to hang out. You're just gone all the time. Pierre, my French friend. You competitive with Pierre? Do you like Pierre? You hate Pierre.
Sergio
Well, it's the relationship between Spain and France, you know?
Daniel Tosh
Who's got better food, Spain or France?
Sergio
Spain.
Daniel Tosh
It's not even close.
Sergio
Not even close. Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Art. Who's better at art, though?
Sergio
I mean, Velasquez, Goya, you name it.
Daniel Tosh
Picasso, Picasso. Where's he from?
Sergio
Picasso's from my hometown. I was born, like, two blocks away from him.
Daniel Tosh
Two blocks away from Picasso. Comedy. Who does comedy better, Spain, France or the United States?
Sergio
Spain is great.
Daniel Tosh
Is there a comedy scene in Spain?
Sergio
Oh, yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah.
Sergio
Especially in the south of Spain.
Daniel's Son
Oh, the south?
Sergio
Yeah, the south. We are having fun all the time. If you're from the south of Spain, they know that you are, like, almost like a comedian, you know?
Daniel Tosh
Oh.
Sergio
Because we always having fun, laughing about everything.
Daniel Tosh
Who's better? Builders.
Sergio
Absolutely. Spain. I mean, we have one of the best architectures in the world.
Daniel Tosh
You love architecture.
Sergio
Yeah, that's my passion. Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
A famous architect went to your wedding. True.
Sergio
Yeah, yeah. Michael Rotondi. He was one of the founders of Morphosys and more than anything, he was the director of Sci Arc for 10 years. And he was crucial educator for many architects in Los Angeles and in the world. Incredible teacher.
Daniel Tosh
Who was the greatest architect of all time?
Sergio
Mies van der Rohe.
Daniel Tosh
Who's that?
Sergio
It was an architect from Germany that later on came into the United States. He did the Sigrants building in Manhattan.
Daniel Tosh
Okay.
Sergio
Many other ones, including the Barcelona Pavilion. Beautiful little building. He's an architect that understood repetition, symmetry and also being able to kind of stop time. And it makes these contemplation images of. Of the landscape, this framing of the landscape at the Farnworth House in Chicago.
Daniel Tosh
What's the deal with Frank Lloyd Wright? Well, do we. Do I have to care about him?
Sergio
Absolutely.
Daniel Tosh
Okay.
Sergio
There is one very interesting building by Frank Lloyd Wright is the Guggenheim Museum in Manhattan in New York, where I don't know if you've seen it. It's like a spiral. You come up in the elevator and then you see the gallery. It's all about time. It's time moving through space. You know, it's. How can I explain it to you, Daniel?
Daniel Tosh
You can't.
Sergio
You know the Disney Concert Hall?
Daniel Tosh
No.
Sergio
The little flower like that with stainless steel. That's the complete opposite of the Guggenheim Museum in New York. It's about space. It's about space coming. Opening up LA is all about space. Guggenheim Museum is about time. Time is way more important in art.
Daniel Tosh
Okay, guys, this is. You're getting a glimpse of what my days were like every day when my house was being built, where I would ask like, hey, how come this bathroom wall isn't finished yet? And then he would go on a 45 minute conversation about time and space. And I would just be like, all right, what architect do you think is overrated? Or do you not like, is there buildings or homes? Oh, I can't stand their work. Or do you just not say that because it's not good for business?
Sergio
No, I don't care. But, you know, I don't know, it's hard to like, I just don't. I can tell you architects that I.
Daniel Tosh
Like the Japanese guy that works only in concrete. You think he's a genius, right?
Sergio
Tadao Ando from Japan.
Daniel Tosh
I'm not into it. It's just pure, just concrete blocks. I'm like, ugh, that's for me, it's.
Sergio
Very, very good architect.
Daniel Tosh
Oh yeah, it's very Monolithic.
Sergio
I love monolithic.
Daniel Tosh
You love things that look monolithic. You're always like, look at this.
Sergio
I'm from south Spain, and we have.
Daniel Tosh
We know.
Sergio
I've had architecture like the Alhambra, you know. Well, this is like the ultimate monolithic walls, you know, sitting on the landscape.
Daniel Tosh
Where are you at on brutalist architecture?
Sergio
It's good. Architecture should be kind of brutal because a building should be made to stand the time. This is what I enjoy when I go to Spain or the Hamburg or to Rome, and I see buildings that have been up for 2000 years and they look more beautiful.
Daniel Tosh
Wait, what's the architect that invented that slide in that city in Spain where everybody gets hurt? Do you know what I'm talking about?
Sergio
Yeah, it wasn't designed by an architect, that's for sure.
Daniel Tosh
It's the most dangerous slide you've ever seen in his town.
Sergio
Yeah, like. Well, they had to shut it off.
Daniel Tosh
Like, during the opening, Grandmas and children were going 300 miles an hour down this huge slide.
Sergio
There is a change of height from one street high up to the lower street. And the developer of that area get together with the politicians said, why don't we do a slide? You know, So I get to build all these units, you know, and then I build you this park with a slide that goes all the way to the other street down there. The day of the opening, the whole town is there dressed up, you know, and they say, okay, it's open, you know, and they start people throwing themselves through the slide. And they just, like, you know, people breaking their legs, burning, because it was like stainless steel, you know, and burning the whole leg, you know? You know, it was a disaster. So they had to stop it, you know.
Daniel Tosh
That's so good. What is flamenco in music?
Sergio
There is a few hotspots for music in the world.
Daniel Tosh
Okay.
Sergio
Flamenco is. Is very. Because it's very deep. It's like in America, the blues, you know, but the blues, like the blues that they play just with the hands, maybe, like, really, like slavery blues, you know?
Daniel Tosh
I guess I don't. I'm not really familiar with the hand slavery blues.
Sergio
It came up from Africa. No, a mix with European, like the gypsy coming from Romania. And that created the flamenco.
Daniel Tosh
Do you listen to it all the time?
Sergio
All the time.
Daniel Tosh
Every time I listen to your mu. Whatever you're listening to, it's just the worst club music. Like a. A Ibiza.
Sergio
No, no, no.
Daniel Tosh
You like.
Sergio
You love that club music. Yeah, yeah. Well, no, but. But this is not what I listen no, but.
Daniel Tosh
But you do rock out to some clubs.
Sergio
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
I mean, of course. That's. You're always like, listen to this song for us.
Sergio
It's like. Or like, like. Well, I kind of pump it up a little bit when I see you, because I know you make fun of me.
Daniel Tosh
What's your thoughts on gazpacho?
Sergio
Gazpacho? Andalus? No, it's from my region of Spain.
Daniel Tosh
So I don't care. Sergio, do you like it or do you love it?
Sergio
I love it, but. Okay, here's. The ingredients are very important. I have the privilege of my brother growing his own veggies for the gazpacho in the summer.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, that's why his body's so good. Grows his own veggies.
Sergio
Top body. And so when I go there, I mean, the tomatoes he grows, it's called Balls of the Bull because they're, like, hanging like that, really large and incredible flavor, no acidity. And it's just. That's a perfect tomato to do the gazpacho.
Daniel Tosh
My wife makes gazpacho using cherry tomatoes.
Sergio
Yeah, she needs a little explanation on that.
Daniel Tosh
I'm teasing. I don't know. No, she does. She actually hates gazpacho.
Daniel's Son
But he would admit Italy has better tomatoes.
Sergio
Yes, well, the tomato is more from the south. The salmorejo is from the south. From where I am. No.
Daniel Tosh
So your tomatoes are comparable to Italy's tomatoes.
Sergio
Way better than Italy's.
Daniel Tosh
I didn't see that coming. I didn't see that coming.
Sergio
Don't even get me started on sardines. You know?
Daniel Tosh
Oh, I don't.
Sergio
I'm not.
Daniel Tosh
I don't care that much.
Sergio
You haven't been in. You haven't ate the sardines from my town.
Daniel Tosh
You're very proud of Spain. You. You have a lot of pride in your country.
Sergio
Very, very proud. You know, I think it's the best country in the world.
Daniel Tosh
But now you are no longer allowed to go back. Is that true?
Sergio
I can go there anytime I want.
Daniel Tosh
You have dual citizenship. You're. You became. When did you become a Citizen in.
Sergio
The US maybe, like 15 years ago.
Daniel Tosh
15 years ago.
Sergio
Yeah. Yeah. But I can go back and forth. I have.
Daniel Tosh
You go back years. I.
Sergio
For my kids to.
Daniel Tosh
You go back usually every summer, and you pull one of the craziest husband moves I've ever, ever witnessed. You have your wife and your two kids, go ahead of you fly to Spain, and then you go two weeks later. So you get two weeks to be by yourself here. And you don't have to travel with the children now. Your kids are a little bit older, but back in the day when they were just babies, you were like, no, no, she does the flight by herself.
Sergio
She goes for two and a half months with the kids.
Daniel Tosh
I know.
Sergio
And I only go three weeks, so I get all that by myself here. You know.
Daniel Tosh
What's the best region in Spain?
Sergio
Andalusia.
Daniel Tosh
Is that where you're from?
Sergio
Well, yes, that's where I'm from, but I'm biased. No, you're very biased. Every region is very different. It's hard to pick one because you're not. You don't have apples to apples. Everything is just so different. But I'm from the south, and that's kind of like, you know, obviously where. I like the Finns from the south. I like the people from the south. I like the food a like the flamenco, you know.
Daniel Tosh
Pete is now a resident and bought property in Spain, well, through his wife, and his wife's sister lives there full time. So now he. He feels like he is a local in Spain.
Sergio
It's probably the best move.
Daniel Tosh
What region do you live in, Pete?
Sergio
Asturias. Asturias.
Daniel Tosh
Asturia. You know. You hate that.
Sergio
I love Asturias.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, you love it.
Sergio
Okay. I mean, the quality of the food there, it's not comparable to anything in the planet. On the whole planet. I'm talking about, for example, the Cabrales cheese, you know, from there, from the mountains of the Picos Europa. No, it's the most expensive cheese in the world. It's like a little cheese this big, like a four pound. It's $25,000. $25,000 for a little cheese that shepherd makes in the middle of the mountain.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, I'm gonna make a quesadilla for my kids with that cheese.
Sergio
This is what I'm talking about. The beef. I mean, the beef in Asturias, it's good. Very close to Asturia is Leon. And Leon has the number one beef restaurant in the world.
Daniel Tosh
Shocking.
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
You sound like Trump. Just always talking about like. But like, you're like the Spaniard version.
Sergio
I'm just saying, number one, everything is the seafood over there. I mean, you can just. You don't need to go anywhere else in the world. Once you get used to the food there and you go somewhere else, you know that you're gonna eat horrible. You know.
Daniel Tosh
Should I buy one of these houses? That's $1 in Spain. Do they have. Are those offered in Spain? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Sergio
Where you up in the Hills in the middle of nowhere.
Daniel Tosh
If you buy them for $1, but then you have to agree to. To renovate them and stuff like that.
Sergio
100% recommend it.
Daniel Tosh
You do?
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, brother. That's going to cost me, isn't it?
Sergio
There's actually a lot of people doing this now in Spain. It's just going far away in the middle of the country.
Daniel Tosh
Do you think you'll ever move back there permanently or no?
Sergio
Yes.
Daniel Tosh
You think you will?
Sergio
Yeah, I.
Daniel Tosh
Interesting.
Sergio
I have to figure out, you know, but I can't, you know, just be here. I miss Spain a lot.
Daniel Tosh
Why not have two places? A place there and a place here?
Sergio
Yes, that's fine, that's fine. But I have to go more than a month, a year. You know what I mean? Like, I have to.
Daniel Tosh
Well, you're gonna once your youngest son, you know, we're talking about 10 years from now.
Sergio
Yeah, yeah, I need him.
Daniel Tosh
Get him out.
Sergio
Yeah, yeah, I gotta get him out now.
Daniel Tosh
How big is your paella pan?
Sergio
Well, mine, you haven't seen my new one.
Daniel Tosh
You got a new paella pan?
Sergio
Yes.
Daniel Tosh
I'm gonna point out it's pretty big.
Sergio
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can feed like easily, like 20 people, you know?
Daniel Tosh
20 people?
Sergio
Yeah. It has a three ring burner with independence. So I can control everything.
Daniel Tosh
One time you were telling me, like, we have to do paella, we have to do paella. I'm like, fine, we'll do it. And then you're like, okay, I don't actually know how to do it. I have a friend that does my paella for me and you're gonna like made. You're gonna make me bring another guy to my house to cook for me. And I said, no, I'm not inviting another member. So then you're like, no, no, okay, fine, I'll do it. So then in Tahoe, you came. You always talked about the thing that's the most important paella is being level. Everything has to be level.
Sergio
Very important. So when you have it level the liquid, it's the same amount. So the rice will cook evenly. If you are off a little bit, there is more water and more dry in another area. So the rice is not going to cook at the same.
Daniel Tosh
You don't season it enough is what I like to say.
Sergio
Season like this, like it's the paella, you put like the saffron and.
Daniel Tosh
And I still have some of the fancy seasons that you gave us.
Sergio
Yeah, well, the pimenton, you know, I give Danny, when you. We finish the house finally, like I Give you a little paella.
Daniel Tosh
I know. And then my wife made paella one time, and you stood next. Don't get mad. You stood next to her and you critiqued her for over an hour. And she was losing her mind. She couldn't handle you just telling her what she was doing wrong for over an hour.
Sergio
Well, the problem. Okay, I think I know what happened, actually. She took a recipe for 15 people and put it in a little pan, a paella pan that I gave you for, like, three and a half people. Her proportions were wrong. Yeah. So she.
Daniel Tosh
It needs to be. The rice needs to be thin.
Sergio
So when, you know, when I. When I.
Daniel Tosh
You like, it burnt.
Sergio
I remember when I got there to your house that day, Amanda comes to me and says, sergio, Sergio, you know, Carly is cooking a paella for you, you know, like, what? Yeah, yeah. You know, and like. Okay. So, you know, I go over there and I see her cooking my paella pan, a mountain of rice.
Daniel Tosh
She was not cooking a mountain of rice in your paella.
Sergio
I'm like, oh, my God, what is that? And she said, I'm making a paella for you. You know, And I go, paella. But look at this. This is like, you know, this rice here for, like, I don't know. You can't cook it like that.
Daniel Tosh
Her proportions were off. That's what you're saying.
Sergio
So she took a recipe that. I think my wife gave it to her or I don't know when she learned. When I cook it in Tahoe, whatever. And she put all that into a little pan.
Daniel Tosh
That's no good.
Sergio
No, no, no. It was like some kind of Chinese rice or something like that.
Daniel Tosh
You know, one time my wife cooked for your family, and she made Mexican food. And your wife says to my wife, you know, as a Mexican woman says, oh, this is so many flavors. That's what she said. So many flavors. I'm like, what? Why would you cook Mexican food for a Mexican woman? I mean, maybe she meant it as a compliment, but I don't think she did.
Sergio
I don't remember that.
Daniel Tosh
This was in Tahoe.
Sergio
Oh, in Tahoe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Enchiladas or something like that. And your wife was just like, yeah.
Sergio
I remember that now. Yeah, yeah, that was. Didn't cut it.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, it didn't cut it. Now, do you take naps every day?
Sergio
Yes. That doesn't work, you know, because you've seen me sleeping in the car.
Daniel Tosh
That's right. You did used to take. You used to go out to your car and take naps.
Sergio
I take it every day. Doesn't matter. I kind of do. I cannot function without it.
Daniel Tosh
How long do you nap for? Usually just two hours.
Sergio
My life in Spain and I know I can't change it. Those are kind of things that are programming my brain. I eat lunch and I fall asleep. I mean, I'm fall asleep not resting. Like, fall asleep completely.
Daniel Tosh
I know. I do the same thing. Do you remember how young you looked when you started working at my house?
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, we both aged. Yeah, we both age. I was single.
Sergio
I'm coming back now and. Coming back.
Daniel Tosh
You're not coming back. It's over. Hey, everybody's on the show. Get some gifts. So let's start. Let's start giving you some gifts.
Sergio
That's the reason why I came.
Daniel Tosh
I know. By the way, where'd you get that shirt that you're wearing right now?
Sergio
This is. Famous comedian gave it to me.
Daniel Tosh
I've always given him clothes. Sergio is one of the people that gets my clothes first dibs.
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
He also was like, for a builder, you're pretty bougie.
Sergio
Yes.
Daniel Tosh
You care about brands. Like, sometimes he would see something on me. He goes, oh, I like that brand very much. I'm like, okay. And then he would tell me. He goes. He goes, I've got a hookup in Palm Desert at the James Purse outlet store. And she hides the good stuff that comes into the outlet store. Lets me know. And then I go out there and I get to buy a bunch of stuff.
Sergio
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Okay. Here for a couple things here. There's just some nice sweaters for you. You like sweater? This is Vince. You'll like them.
Sergio
Yeah, this is beautiful.
Daniel Tosh
Well, you'll like that.
Sergio
This is totally in now, huh?
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, it's got. It's got fun pockets to it. And it's got a. Here's another sweater. That one has a hood. Do you wear hoods ever? Yeah, I didn't think so. But don't take your coaster.
Sergio
Yeah, maybe my.
Daniel Tosh
You'll like it. Now you have tiny feet.
Sergio
Not really.
Daniel Tosh
For a man. For a building.
Sergio
Excuse me. You have strangely odd big feet. Yes.
Daniel Tosh
Well, okay. But your son. Your son has man feet.
Sergio
Yes. He's using. He's got like three of four pairs. He's using that.
Daniel Tosh
Now I'm going to blow his mind. Now I'm going to blow his mind. This is going to be for your son. Oh, this is going to be for your son.
Sergio
He's going to love that. Look at this.
Daniel Tosh
We're just going to give your son every. Look at these Shoes. These are. Some of these have never been worn.
Sergio
Yeah, I know this.
Daniel Tosh
Look at these. Oh, he's going to love all these shoes. He's going to love these.
Sergio
Incredible.
Daniel Tosh
Look at these shoes. Oh, my goodness.
Sergio
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Daniel Tosh
Some of those. There's some dirt on there, but you.
Sergio
See, like, this is a little too big.
Daniel Tosh
Look at this. These shows say Tosh 0.0 on them. Adidas made me a pair that said Tosh. You're saying it's all these shoes.
Sergio
20 of 30.
Daniel Tosh
No, there might be 40 pairs of shoes. 40 pairs. Get that off my desk. Yeah, go ahead and put that over there. You can keep the bag, too. I'm not done giving you stuff. But get this off my desk so we get to the next set of gifts. Get that sweater off my desk, too, please. There's rocks.
Sergio
This interview was so worth it.
Daniel Tosh
Hold on. Next. Next gift I have for you. I don't know why I found this today.
Sergio
It That. I know that. Because you changed the model.
Daniel Tosh
I changed the model. So I want you for your house.
Sergio
I don't know if I can use that, but. Yeah. Yeah. This is a. Yep. This was in your. In the little closet. I remember leaving this in there.
Daniel Tosh
Well, now you're taking it back. It's an inner garage.
Sergio
It's really beautiful. It's really beautiful. I always thought about taking it, but, you know, no.
Daniel's Son
Hey, it's good.
Daniel Tosh
I always thought about taking it. All right. So you could take. Take this intercom, because I want. I want that. That's nice. We.
Sergio
Yep.
Daniel Tosh
If you don't use it, that's fine. What else do I got for you? I don't know what these things are, but you. You left them. I don't want them.
Sergio
Yeah, that's a zip wall. Yeah. This is great.
Daniel Tosh
Here's some zip walls.
Sergio
Yeah, this is like when we have to put temporary walls.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, well, I've never used those, so I don't know why they're in my house.
Sergio
I use it in your house, actually.
Daniel Tosh
Here, take this.
Sergio
What is. Oh, no, no, that's not. That's not mine. I don't care.
Daniel Tosh
It was left in my work site. It's got dry Crete in it. Like whatever that dry cement stuff.
Daniel's Son
Get a quick dry.
Daniel Tosh
Quick dry. Whatever it is, don't open it in here.
Sergio
It's nasty, man.
Daniel Tosh
It's nasty.
Daniel's Son
He said that is not mine.
Daniel Tosh
How many photos are in your phone?
Sergio
Oh, I don't even know.
Daniel Tosh
You don't, do you?
Sergio
I want to know. 69,000.
Daniel Tosh
69,000 yeah, I just. No one takes more photos than you. And then like I'll call you and I'll have a problem at my house and I'll be like, hey, do you have photos? I need to know if it's a straight shot from the telephone pole to. I need to know if this conduit is a straight or if there's a junction box. And you're like, hold on. And you scroll through 69,000 photos and you're like, I think it's a straight shot. Yeah, it's a straight shot. You're good. Explain your plan to get get rid of Wilshire Boulevard, a major road that, that runs the entire length of Los Angeles and turn it only into a pedestrian road.
Sergio
Los Angeles has a couple of problems. One is the public space is a disaster. You know, like we don't have a good public space. Like you go to any European cities and you see a plaza or something like that. It's so active, you know, here plazas are half empty. Parks are 100% empty. And the reason there is only there is a reason is because everybody has a park in their home, backyard and front yard. You know, we have so much open space. Los Angeles is a very low density city. And when we make a park, it's not relevant, you know, for the urbanistically, okay, it's just another empty space. You know, it's not, it's the opposite of Manhattan and the Central park, you know, over there is relevant. You need that because you have so much density. So every time we try to do an open space here in Los Angeles, it's very difficult. So I think what needs to be done is breed open space and parks. Like a transportation system, Los Angeles is designed based on freeways and based on moving through space for long distances. You know, we love commute. If you stay home one day and you don't commute, not you, but two hours, most of the people get nervous, oh, I didn't drive for two hours today. You know why? Because we have problem on us just moving through space, through freeways, and everything is so thin, everything is far away. So a park has to be designed with that logic where we connect big distances like Santa Monica to downtown. Literally it's a linear park, a linear freeway of pedestrians and also bicycles, electric bicycles. Now that completely change the distances. We are from Santa Monica to downtown. I think we are like maybe 12 miles away.
Daniel Tosh
You still got that rad wagon? I got you.
Sergio
I love it.
Daniel Tosh
You still got it?
Sergio
Oh yeah.
Daniel Tosh
But your kids are huge now, so you don't need that.
Sergio
Yeah, we still get all of us on top.
Daniel Tosh
No, you don't.
Sergio
Yes, we do.
Daniel Tosh
What?
Sergio
It's incredible transport.
Daniel Tosh
Something like that.
Sergio
Yes. Yes. Anyway, I think Los Angeles, especially now with the Olympics, you know, I'm from Spain, so we went through the Olympics in Barcelona and we transformed the whole city.
Daniel Tosh
Are you excited for the Olympics to come here?
Sergio
Well, yes, but who are you going to cheer for?
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, who are you going to cheer for?
Sergio
Spain. But if Spain is not playing traitor and us wins, I'm happy.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, what about in soccer? Who will you go for?
Sergio
Spain. That's. That's a major. Yeah, that's, that's negotiable.
Daniel Tosh
Did you overcharge me? No.
Sergio
It just seems that it costs, you know, like, like to do things right and to redo many things. Would redo many times, you know, and it's just adds up, you know.
Daniel Tosh
You didn't overcharge me.
Sergio
You did.
Daniel Tosh
No, you didn't. All right, Sergio, thank you for being on the show.
Sergio
Thank you.
Daniel Tosh
Hope your son fits into all the shoes. And I can't wait for you to finish your new home.
Sergio
Yes. Thank you, Daniel, for having me. This is a pleasure.
Daniel Tosh
Strong hands, real builder.
Sergio
Builder.
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Daniel Tosh
Paw Show. I want to thank Sergio for being on the show. And I want to thank Sergio for building my home. I love my house. I'd hate to sell it, but I will you give me the right offer, I'll kick my family out of there tonight. Carl, you know what we're doing now? Couple updates from people that have been on the show. A couple of your favorites are Barkley marathons. Runner this year got John Kelly. Guess what?
Daniel's Son
What?
Daniel Tosh
Didn't finish.
Daniel's Son
Oh man.
Daniel Tosh
He finished three loops. Three of the five loops. No one finished this year's course. They made it harder. Too hard. You know why?
Daniel's Son
Why?
Daniel Tosh
Because last year a woman finished and they're like well, we can't have this. We can't let. If women are finished in the race. So. Anyway, they made it a lot harder this year. John finished three loops. Congratulations. You finished two thirds of the race. That's just a funny race to be in.
Daniel's Son
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Hey, I was in a race. How'd you do? No one finished. No. All right. Darrell, the ex NFL player that's now a chef. Remember he was sniffing around? Remember he's kicking the tires on the show, asking me parenting stuff?
Daniel's Son
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Ah, guess what? They're expecting their first child.
Daniel's Son
Come on. Good job.
Daniel Tosh
Nice job. Oh, man, he fucked up. My wife's best friend, Jocelyn, Dr. Jocelyn, who's been on the show, she's still pregnant and she's keeping the baby.
Daniel's Son
Come on.
Daniel Tosh
Gonna be a little girl. Isn't that sweet? All right, let's get to the plugs. What do we got? Toss show store Eddie's tour. Eddie? Eddie, you're in Austin.
Daniel's Son
Oh, tomorrow night.
Daniel Tosh
Wow. Cap city. Man, that brings back some memories. I know it's a new location from the one that we used to do, but memories nonetheless. Oh, I used to have a. I used to have a nice Austin friend. She worked at the Yellow Rose. Oh, man, I miss her. Every day I think of her. Then you got my tour this summer in the Midwest. Also on sale this week is some NORCAL locations. Monterey, Santa Cruz, San Francisco Central Cal, if you will. Or NorCal. Eh, whatever. Let's do the free plug. Hit the free plug music. Now that's good church music right there. Mm. Hosanna. All right, what are we free plugging? Iowa's most popular bacon festival and one of the oldest and largest bacon festivals in the world is returning to the Iowa State Fairgrounds. This May 3rd. The 17th Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival organizers will transform the agricultural building into a bacon boat for a yacht rock themed bacon extravaganza. And aside from all things bacon, there will be live music from Southern California's very own Yachty by nature.
Daniel's Son
Come on.
Daniel Tosh
Yep. This event will feature unlimited bacon samples for all attendees. Is Bake Os welcomed or. No?
Daniel's Son
Oh, that's good. I don't know.
Daniel Tosh
They're probably not welcome. It's not real bacon, you know. And bacos. I used to love putting those on my salad. Anyway, that's not part of this. I. The event will feature a renowned bacon eating contest. Jesus Christ. Is that just how much bacon you can eat? Or, like, is there a style of bacon? You ever had raw bacon at a sushi place?
Daniel's Son
No.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, you probably shouldn't order that. The first contestant to eat 10 strips of bacon without throwing up or losing any large pieces will win $110 strips. That's something on. That's on the Denny's menu. That. Actually, that line might be taken from a Denny's menu. You also get a trophy and some Lipitor. Lipitor is probably. That's not real. I'm just joking about that. Unless Lipitor is a sponsor of the bacon festival, which those things would pair up nicely. Anyway, if you think you can defeat Ryan Plew, who has won the last two, get over to blueribbonbaconfestival.com ASAP to fill out your entry form, because only 12 lucky pork tricipitants. How do you say it?
Sergio
Porkticipants.
Daniel Tosh
Only 12 people get to compete. That's at 3:15 and doors open at 11. But make sure you're there by 1. Oh, God. So many numbers for the presentation of the 2025 Bacon Queen. Ooh, that'd be kind of cool.
Daniel's Son
The Bacon Queen.
Daniel Tosh
If you were dating somebody and found out they were the bacon Queen. Isn't it every woman's dream in Iowa to wear a sash with bacon Queen on it?
Daniel's Son
I think so.
Daniel Tosh
I wonder if you have to be born into that. Tickets to Pork a palooza are $29 for general admission, which, I mean, 29 bucks. Not a bad deal if you're. If you. If you say to yourself, well, I'm gonna at least eat $10 worth of bacon today, right? Yeah, because now you're talking about just paying $19 to hang out. If you're willing to spend $49 for the VIP ticket, you will get the koozie plus a pastry to build up your bacon eating base and a one hour early entry into the festival. Oh, that means you're gonna get the good bacon. The crispy strips.
Daniel's Son
Yep.
Daniel Tosh
My wife always orders bacon extra crispy everywhere we go. And I'm always just like, ah, just stop. Just let them make the bacon the way they want to make it. I get it. If you're at a gross place and it's just rubbery but extra crispy, please. Oh, okay. My grandma here wants to have, you know, no taste, just some chard. I wonder if I'm allowed to bring my pig to this bacon festival. I wonder if he'd if that. If that's considered cruel. This is a 21 and up event. What? That's nonsense. Children love bacon. Why is this 21 and up? I don't know if I would have known it was 21 and up at the beginning I might not have plugged them so well. All right. Iowa State fairgrounds located at 3000 East Grand Avenue in Des Moines, Iowa. Stay crispy. See you guys next week. Is your team still running on yesterday's tech? Oh man, time for an upgrade. The ThinkPad X1 carbon is ultralight, ultra powerful and powered by an Intel Core Ultra processor so you can work, create and boost productivity all on one device. Need security? Lenovo's Think Shield helps protect your business from modern threats. Needs smarter performance built in AI features keep things running fast and efficiently. And if you're looking for perks, Lenovo Pro gives you exclusive business benefits, extra savings and access to essential tools. Stop hitting snooze on new tech. Win the tech search for business PCs@lenovo.com.
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Tosh Show Episode Summary: "My Builder - Sergio Ortiz"
Episode Information:
In this episode, Daniel Tosh welcomes Sergio Ortiz, a multifaceted professional who has twice built Daniel's home in Malibu after the first one was tragically lost to fire. Sergio is not only a skilled builder but also an architect and a passionate surfer hailing from Malaga, Spain.
Notable Quote:
Daniel Tosh [10:19]: "My guest today has built my home in Malibu twice because the first one burned down. He's a surfer, a builder, an architect, and my favorite Spanish person not yet to be deported."
Sergio shares his roots from Marbella, a picturesque town near Malaga, where his family has been renowned butchers for generations. An early aspiration to become an architect was sparked during a childhood incident where Sergio nearly lost his vision but was saved by a specialist in Barcelona.
Notable Quote:
Sergio Ortiz [12:02]: "I was raised right on the beach in the Mediterranean... I was going to the bathroom and I found a tick crawling around on my waistline."
The conversation delves into the challenges and humorous moments Sergio faced while constructing Daniel's Malibu residence. From navigating the complexities of high-end architectural design to managing unexpected mishaps on the job site, their collaboration is both professional and personal.
Notable Quote:
Sergio Ortiz [16:10]: "We are like six, seven architects, and we each kinda take a project on and we are very focused on the design, on the detailing."
Sergio discusses his admiration for architects like Mies van der Rohe and Frank Lloyd Wright, emphasizing the importance of space and time in design. He contrasts different architectural styles, highlighting his preference for monolithic structures that stand the test of time.
Notable Quote:
Sergio Ortiz [33:33]: "Architecture should be kind of brutal because a building should be made to stand the time. This is what I enjoy when I go to Spain or Hamburg or Rome."
The episode explores Spanish culinary delights such as gazpacho and paella, with Sergio passionately defending the superior quality of Spanish ingredients. He humorously critiques Daniel's efforts in cooking traditional dishes, showcasing the blend of cultures and shared experiences.
Notable Quote:
Sergio Ortiz [39:07]: "I love it, but the ingredients are very important. I have the privilege of my brother growing his own veggies for the gazpacho in the summer."
Daniel and Sergio reminisce about quirky incidents during the construction process, including accidental falls into septic tanks, unexpected interruptions, and playful pranks like hiding gay pornography in Sergio's trailer. These stories highlight their camaraderie and the light-hearted side of their professional relationship.
Notable Quote:
Daniel Tosh [21:27]: "She fell into the septic tank... She was so mad."
The dynamic between Daniel and Sergio is characterized by mutual respect, teasing, and genuine friendship. They discuss the importance of maintaining a clean work environment, Sergio's nurturing relationship with his construction crew, and the balance between work and personal life.
Notable Quote:
Daniel Tosh [25:47]: "Most of the workers that build your homes are Mexican... I love them. Well, so many of these guys that I got to meet now, I see them on other job sites."
Towards the end of the episode, Sergio shares his ambitions to finish building his own home in the mountains and his thoughts on urban development, specifically proposing a pedestrian-focused transformation of Los Angeles’ Wilshire Boulevard to enhance public spaces.
Notable Quote:
Sergio Ortiz [52:40]: "Los Angeles has a couple of problems. One is the public space is a disaster... We need to breed open space and parks."
In a heartwarming conclusion, Daniel presents Sergio with various gifts as a token of appreciation for his hard work and friendship. They exchange light-hearted banter about clothing, gifts, and Sergio's family, reinforcing the personal bond they've developed over the years.
Notable Quote:
Daniel Tosh [50:04]: "Some of those... These are like the little things I would do."
Conclusion: This episode of the Tosh Show offers listeners an intimate look into the life and work of Sergio Ortiz, blending professional insights with personal stories. Daniel Tosh and Sergio Ortiz's engaging dialogue not only sheds light on the complexities of high-end home construction but also celebrates the enduring friendship that underpins their collaborative success.