My D.C. Insider - Amber Macdonald

Summary

Tosh Show Episode Summary: "My D.C. Insider - Amber Macdonald"

Introduction In the January 14, 2025 episode of the Tosh Show, host Daniel Tosh welcomes Amber Macdonald, a seasoned political speechwriter with a remarkable ability to transform mundane zoning issues into compelling poetry about America's soul. Throughout the episode, Tosh and Macdonald delve into the intricacies of political communication, Amber's unique upbringing, her career trajectory, and her perspectives on current political dynamics.

Amber Macdonald’s Background and Upbringing Amber begins by sharing her unconventional childhood, having grown up in a commune in Indiana known as The Way International. She recounts living in what was formerly a convent, where her parents were deeply involved in strict religious practices. This upbringing instilled in her a sense of skepticism and a drive to seek her own path.

Notable Quote:

• Amber Macdonald [20:07]: "The cult itself was international. We lived in a dorm in an old convent, and my parents would leave me in the room while they attended Bible classes. It was a very different time."

Transition to Political Speechwriting Amber explains her transition from a challenging childhood to pursuing higher education in English and theater, eventually moving to Los Angeles to chase an acting career. Despite her creative endeavors, financial struggles led her to volunteer for political campaigns, where she discovered her knack for speechwriting.

Notable Quote:

• Amber Macdonald [30:15]: "I started volunteering for campaigns and eventually begged to write speeches. My first one was a five-minute speech, and seeing someone else use my words was the greatest day of my life."

Role and Challenges of a Political Speechwriter The conversation shifts to the demands and responsibilities of a speechwriter. Amber emphasizes the importance of defending the integrity of her words against overzealous edits by lawyers and other stakeholders. She highlights the delicate balance between creativity and political correctness required in crafting speeches that resonate with diverse audiences.

Notable Quote:

• Amber Macdonald [35:10]: "Every speech feels like a puzzle. I’m constantly defending my choice of words to ensure the message remains clear and impactful."

Perspectives on AI and the Future of Speechwriting Amber voices her concerns regarding the rise of artificial intelligence in speechwriting. While she acknowledges AI's potential in handling repetitive tasks, she worries about the lack of rigorous critique and the loss of essential creative processes that foster skilled writers.

Notable Quote:

• Amber Macdonald [36:22]: "AI can handle the inane work, but it can’t replace the critical feedback and creative struggles that shape truly effective speechwriters."

Personal Anecdotes and Life in D.C. Amber shares personal stories from her time in Washington, D.C., illustrating the human side of political life. She reflects on the camaraderie among her colleagues, the challenges of low pay, and the relentless scrutiny that comes with working in the political arena.

Notable Quote:

• Amber Macdonald [48:55]: "Being in D.C. is tough. The pay is horrible, but most people are good-hearted and genuinely trying to make the world a better place."

Balancing Professional and Personal Life The discussion also touches on Amber's efforts to maintain a balance between her demanding career and personal life. She enjoys baking and engaging in community activities, which provide a much-needed respite from the high-pressure environment of political speechwriting.

Notable Quote:

• Amber Macdonald [42:00]: "I bake cakes and bike to relax. It’s a meditative process that helps me decompress after long days of crafting speeches."

Conclusion and Final Thoughts As the episode wraps up, Amber expresses her commitment to continuing her work in political speechwriting, aiming to influence positive change within the Democratic Party. Tosh appreciates her insights and encourages listeners to reflect on the behind-the-scenes efforts that shape political narratives.

Notable Quote:

• Amber Macdonald [54:21]: "I have a four-point plan to fix America, starting with taking care of my daughters and then working towards broader political reforms."

Key Takeaways

• Amber Macdonald’s unique background in a strict religious commune influenced her critical thinking and career path.
• Speechwriting requires a delicate balance between creativity and political constraints, necessitating constant defense of word choices.
• AI poses both opportunities and challenges for the future of political speechwriting, potentially streamlining tasks but risking the loss of nuanced human creativity.
• Personal well-being and hobbies like baking play a crucial role in maintaining balance amidst the pressures of a political career.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Amber Macdonald [20:07]: "The cult itself was international. We lived in a dorm in an old convent, and my parents would leave me in the room while they attended Bible classes. It was a very different time."
• Amber Macdonald [30:15]: "I started volunteering for campaigns and eventually begged to write speeches. My first one was a five-minute speech, and seeing someone else use my words was the greatest day of my life."
• Amber Macdonald [35:10]: "Every speech feels like a puzzle. I’m constantly defending my choice of words to ensure the message remains clear and impactful."
• Amber Macdonald [36:22]: "AI can handle the inane work, but it can’t replace the critical feedback and creative struggles that shape truly effective speechwriters."
• Amber Macdonald [48:55]: "Being in D.C. is tough. The pay is horrible, but most people are good-hearted and genuinely trying to make the world a better place."
• Amber Macdonald [42:00]: "I bake cakes and bike to relax. It’s a meditative process that helps me decompress after long days of crafting speeches."
• Amber Macdonald [54:21]: "I have a four-point plan to fix America, starting with taking care of my daughters and then working towards broader political reforms."

Conclusion The episode "My D.C. Insider - Amber Macdonald" offers an insightful look into the life of a political speechwriter navigating the complex world of politics and personal identity. Through engaging conversations and personal anecdotes, Amber Macdonald provides listeners with a deeper understanding of the behind-the-scenes efforts that shape political discourse in America.

Transcript

[Jon Stewart]

Jon Stewart is back at the Daily show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors, and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm Jason Alexander.

[Peter Tilden]

And I'm Peter Tilden. And together our mission on the really Know really podcast is to get the.

[Jason Alexander]

True answers to life's baffling questions, like.

[Peter Tilden]

Why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum a failure? And does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign. Jason Bobblehead the ReallyNo really podcast.

[Jason Alexander]

Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of numbers.

[Amber]

So that's why we created the Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts to give you the context you need to make sense of it all.

[Jason Alexander]

Every day in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters. It's.

[Amber]

You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this Meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC.

[Jason Alexander]

Follow the Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. What's the craziest thing you've ever written that actually made it into a speech where you were just like, oh, let's just see if I can get this in there.

[Amber]

Nothing ever.

[Jason Alexander]

Or get him to say Baba Booey.

[Amber]

They won't do that.

[Jason Alexander]

Kosh Show POS TOSHOW for Show hey guys, it's me. Believe it or not, this is what Daniel Tosh normally looks like. Like a hungover Andrew Luck. Like a even gayer Abraham Lincoln. Like an Amish who's lost his way. Welcome to Toss show, guys. I've been in the mountains. This is my first day back, and I'll clean up before the interview, but I wanted you to see me raw. Never been able to grow a proper beard. It's not good. Eddie, what do you think of it?

[Eddie]

It's looking pretty. I don't know. Yeah, it's not it never really gets to that big, huge burly. I don't think you let it go that far. You should try it for a year.

[Jason Alexander]

It's just. It just gets more and more. Pubic. Hairy.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

Well, anyway, you know, it's good to be back. I'm excited to shave. What I miss. Happy New Year.

[Eddie]

Happy New Year to you. Glad to have you back.

[Jason Alexander]

How was your Christmas?

[Eddie]

It was good. Austin, Texas, with the family.

[Jason Alexander]

I had a great Christmas. We all got rsv.

[Eddie]

Oh, nice.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah, my wife's brother came, just sick as could be. Got all of us infected immediately. And then they left. And then we had like two weeks alone of just snotting and coughing. Just lovely. Just your head feels like it's gonna explode every night when you're trying to lay down kids screaming. Just. Just a magical time of year. No, I did have a good time. You know, it's. I want to say this what I think I now, because of this show, believe it or not, I just love Christmas so much because every time I opened a gift that someone gave me, I was just so excited. I was like, oh, I'm giving this away.

[Eddie]

Yeah, there you go.

[Jason Alexander]

And I was just watching people fume. Now I'd like to read a text from my father. He sent me this. What does it say? Back in August, by the way? As we close in on our octogenarianism. They're turning 80. Octogenarianism. We have decided to shut down birthday and Christmas gifting. We are quite out of step of what is in or even appropriate anymore. A well wished text will assure each of our family members of our never waning love and concern. But this does not preclude my purchase of a model car for my grandson that somehow catches my eye. Okay, so Scrooge McDuck there says, no more gift giving. Doesn't want to receive anything. Doesn't want to give anything. Now, I didn't let that go. I reach out to them, what's going on, Grinches? And my mom flat out says it. She goes, I watch you give away stuff on the show. You just make fun of everybody that gives you something. You don't need anything. So we're not giving you anything.

[Eddie]

I kind of like it. I like her.

[Jason Alexander]

I love it. Yeah, I love it. It finally worked. The whole point of this. Stop giving me things. It. It worked. Speaking of gifts, my alma mater, UCF Central Florida Knights in Orlando, Florida, they get football. Great Scott Frost.

[Eddie]

He's bad.

[Jason Alexander]

Last time he was the coach of the UCF Knights, they were undefeated. Now Then he went on to his alma mater at Nebraska and just laid a big turd.

[Eddie]

Four years of it.

[Jason Alexander]

I have to admit, I said a lot of nasty things about when he left. I was like, stay. You've got things cooking at a school that'll give you everything. And, you know, he's like, no, I gotta go. This is. This is my destiny. I was a quarterback here, you know, in the 80s when Nebraska mattered.

[Eddie]

Late 90s.

[Jason Alexander]

All right, 90s. Whenever. Now, am I worried that Scott Frost, who is given this second chance, this opportunity to redeem his deplorable behavior, to coach this powerhouse football program, is going to leave again? I am. I am. And I understand that. Listen, when I went to ucf, I graduated a semester early. Why? Because I wanted to get out of there. I can relate. I just don't want it to happen. I want you to stay there, do us proud, and win it all. Anyway. Ah. Any resolutions this year?

[Eddie]

Nope.

[Jason Alexander]

I wasn't positive of what compilation garbage John was gonna pump out during the break, but I saw that we did the poop story montage. Well, let me tell you something. You know, I say every year, my New Year's resolution is not poop myself. I didn't make it.

[Eddie]

I mean, it was so early in the year.

[Jason Alexander]

So early. Here's what happened. I'm in Tahoe. I go to my favorite cakery. Okay, yeah, it's not called a bakery, Pete. It's called a cakery.

[Eddie]

It's his favorite one. Pete.

[Jason Alexander]

It's my favorite cakery. It's sugar pine. Allison is the owner and her husband, Brett, I believe. They're both wonderful people. I go in there, and they've got so many good things. They got a banana cinnamon bread that I love. Always get a slice of that. Their cookies look perfect, so I always have to grab a couple of those. And this is breakfast. You know, I'm getting the biscuit sandwich, I'm getting the eggs. But this day, I decide, well, I'll get a hot chocolate as well, along with all those. I also had a donut. It doesn't matter, guys. It's a cakery.

[Eddie]

You got a problem?

[Jason Alexander]

That's not a problem. It's called breakfast. And when you're in the mountains, you need a lot to survive.

[Eddie]

You gotta fuel up well.

[Jason Alexander]

We always get the breakfast, and then we park at this little park around the bend, and you take a hike through the woods. There's a little gnome door. My son loves to open it up. He brings a toy every time and leaves it. You're supposed to take a toy, leave a toy. We just give a toy every time. Some kids just leave rocks in there. That's. That's bullshit. And then they take my kid's good toy that he leaves. But whatever. We say hi to the gnomes, and then we. There's a picnic table on the lake, and we eat. We eat our breakfast. It's just magical. It's just a routine. Well, anyway, halfway through this walk. Let me say something else. When I'm holding my daughter, her knee is going into my stomach. And if my stomach is remotely suspect at the time that it's just putting pressure for me to get everything out.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

You understand?

[Eddie]

Sure.

[Jason Alexander]

This walk is maybe three quarters of a mile. About 100 yards in. I tell my wife, how great is this? I said something to the effect of, what a wonderful morning. And then I said, hey, oh, I don't know if I can do this. And she's like, what? I go, yeah, I gotta go back. She's like, where are you going? I go, I don't know. So I just took my daughter and I start walking back. I go, you guys go to the gnome door, let my son put his toy in there so he doesn't freak out, and then just hurry back. Well, anyway, they're going. I make it maybe 25 steps the other direction, and I'm like, oh, no, it's here. I start yelling for my wife to come back. She's not. I start walking into the woods a little deeper. There's snow, you know, a foot or two on the ground. I set my daughter down, stand her up. She immediately falls, starts screaming. Can't deal with that now. Pull my pants down and go to the bathroom. And it's like molten lava through the snow. It fires through the snow. My wife. I see my wife coming back, and she. Because she's just following the sounds of her screaming daughter who's sitting in the snow. She's not hurt. There's just sitting there watching her dad, you know, go to the bathroom, empty.

[Eddie]

Himself into the woods.

[Jason Alexander]

She sees me, she's mortified. She picks up my little angel, and I'm like, oh. And then I use snow to wipe. By the way, great wiper. Great wiper. It's easy. Anyway, we go back. We get back in the car. I'm like, sorry about that, guys.

[Eddie]

Hey, everybody. Sorry about.

[Jason Alexander]

Now, here's the thing. Did I actually break my resolution? I say, no. And here's why. If a man is walking through the woods and says to his wife, oh, my goodness, honey, I need to pee. And then walks into the woods and pees and comes back. Nobody's like, oh, my goodness, can you believe what he did?

[Eddie]

Yeah, right?

[Jason Alexander]

So I did the same thing, but mine was the other. Yeah, mine was violent diarrhea. And my wife's like, yeah, but the difference is if you told that person they can't pee, they wouldn't just start peeing all over themselves. And I'm like, oh, okay. Maybe I accept that as the difference. When I got back to the car, I was like, well, I might as well just do a courtesy wipe with one of my kids wet wipes, you know, from their little diaper bag. And as I did that, I looked up and there were two people walking toward my car from the trail that might have just seen me put my hands down my pants and wipe. But I'm not sure they did. I'm not sure. If you're out there and you saw that, my apologies. I didn't even look before I went for the extra, you know, clean wipe. They wouldn't recognize me. I got, you know, I got my beard. I tell you what I should do. If I shave this and then just this bottom part, I look like one of those guys that hates America. But that's not true. I love this country, okay? And so does my guest today. Enjoy.

[Jon Stewart]

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on the Daily show and in your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's podcast, politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm Jason Alexander.

[Peter Tilden]

And I'm Peter Tilden, and together I'm on the really Know really podcast.

[Jason Alexander]

Our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions, like why.

[Peter Tilden]

They refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor.

[Jason Alexander]

We got the answer.

[Peter Tilden]

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's gonna drop by.

[Jason Alexander]

Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us.

[Amber]

How are you?

[Jason Alexander]

Hello.

[Peter Tilden]

My friend Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park.

[Jason Alexander]

Wayne Knight. Welcome to really, really, sir. Bless you all.

[Peter Tilden]

Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging.

[Jason Alexander]

Really? That's the opening. Really? Yeah, really? No, really.

[Peter Tilden]

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500 a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead.

[Jason Alexander]

It's called really? No, really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Paw show. My guest today is a political speech writer whose words have either moved you or made you say, fuck that shit. It really is a country of widely differing opinions. She can spend boring zoning ordinance issues into poetry about the battle for America's soul. And if you thought the ineffective speeches at the Democratic National Convention went on too long, you can blame her for it. That said, please welcome Amber.

[Amber]

Thank you very much.

[Jason Alexander]

How are you holding up? Huh?

[Amber]

Things are. Wow. They have been better, I would say.

[Jason Alexander]

I mean, anger, furious. Where are you this time around?

[Amber]

Resigned. Like, we knew. We knew this was a possibility. I was not as heartbroken and shocked. I mean, heartbroken, yes, but not as shocked or unprepared as 2016.

[Jason Alexander]

Of course, when I hear people say, insiders tell me, oh, that we knew all along that she couldn't win, I get so enraged. I'm like, well, you know what would have been nice for the American economy? If they told tip us off on that and save us all a billion dollars of donations.

[Amber]

I mean, I think that's such a. It's so easy to just be like, uh, DC Consultants, insiders, like, it's not a person. There are many different people in D.C. with various opinions. Of course, some people thought she couldn't win. Many people thought she could win it. This is one of those things where if. If she had won, we would have all said, obviously, obviously, she would have won. It's such a. It was such a. A slam dunk.

[Jason Alexander]

I mean, I just go either way. I see myself. Listen, I had Obama. That was in my lifetime. I'm thankful for it. I was at a good age for it. Moved me. I don't think I'm ever gonna let myself get fall in love. This vested. It's just too much for my soul. I can't handle it.

[Amber]

I feel like maybe rock the vote kind of broke us all and made us feel like voting was this, like, magical identity thing. And what it actually is, is, as AOC says, like a chess move. We are trying to move things forward we are doing our best. You know, we push. We've gotten a lot of really important things done. Obama got things done. Joe Biden got a lot of really important things done. And now we're gonna get pushed back. And you just have to keep. You just have to keep going. You don't have to fall in love every time. You just do.

[Jason Alexander]

No, I haven't fallen in love. I haven't fallen in love. Love. I don't know what to do. Sack of shit. I know that you liked tarot cards, so I'm actually afraid to ask this. Do you believe in ghosts?

[Amber]

I'm also afraid to answer this.

[Jason Alexander]

Do you believe in ghosts?

[Amber]

I lean toward. I lean toward. No, but I might believe in ghosts also.

[Jason Alexander]

I wish that was on the ballot.

[Amber]

I don't think I lean toward. I don't like to take like a hard stance on things like, because, I don't know, you don't have to see or prove things just to make them real.

[Jason Alexander]

I have a very differing opinion.

[Amber]

Really? Do you?

[Jason Alexander]

Sure. What did the tarot card say about coming onto my show?

[Amber]

I did not do a reading for it. I know I should have.

[Jason Alexander]

Do you believe in ghost writing?

[Amber]

As a ghost writer, I do believe that you can do it and they exist.

[Jason Alexander]

You ever write for the wrong side?

[Amber]

No.

[Jason Alexander]

Could you?

[Amber]

No.

[Jason Alexander]

See, I've written jokes for comics that I don't agree with. I've never, like, I think their style of comedy is just garbage.

[Amber]

It's like, I have worked for people who believe things that I don't really agree with. And maybe I've made a pitch or I've said like, yeah, sure, I can make that argument. But there's like a line for me that if I don't, I can't write a speech about. I'm very pro choice. I could never write a speech that's like, here's why we should ban abortion. Like, that would just be. I don't want to do that. That's just not. That's not who I am.

[Jason Alexander]

Well, you don't have to. Thankfully, it's going to be banned.

[Amber]

It's too late.

[Jason Alexander]

I apologize for all of your rights.

[Amber]

Can you take responsibility, please?

[Jason Alexander]

I'll take some responsibility, sure.

[Amber]

Great. Thank you.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm a single issue voter.

[Amber]

What is it?

[Jason Alexander]

Abortion.

[Amber]

That's your one issue?

[Jason Alexander]

Yes.

[Amber]

Great. Love that.

[Jason Alexander]

I just. Whatever gets me to, like, they can do whatever they want. That's where I vote down the ballot.

[Amber]

Great.

[Jason Alexander]

But man, has it come back to bite me. Well, that's why people always. It always gets Me mad when people, like, if I say, oh, I can't wait to check in on these MAGA fools in four years and be like, how much better is your life? And some of their rebuttals, do you.

[Amber]

Check in on them? I regularly check in. My whole family are maga. I've got so many connections. I regularly have to go in and be like, what's Brad Barton up to? That's crazy.

[Jason Alexander]

I have similar family members as well, but they like to push back. Oh, well, let's see how worse your life is. And to that I'm always like, you care so much about women's reproductive rights. You live in California. They're not gonna be affected there. And I'm like, well, yes, they're probably not gonna be that affected here, but that's not what I'm voting for. I'm voting for this 17 year old girl in Arkansas.

[Amber]

Well. And they could be affected here in various, various ways.

[Jason Alexander]

Well, we'll take care of it here.

[Amber]

Yeah, figure it out.

[Jason Alexander]

California's gonna figure it. Oh, I swear, one of these days I'm just gonna. I'm gonna take my whole state with me. We're moving to Cabo. California to Cabo. All right. One could argue that you and I were both raised and Christian. Cult said. If we wanna. I don't know if we wanna use that word, but yours sounds way more culty. Culty.

[Amber]

It probably was.

[Jason Alexander]

Talk about what your childhood was like.

[Amber]

There was like different phases, so I remember my first memories were we lived on a commune in Indiana with like a farm, a working farm.

[Jason Alexander]

How many people is this?

[Amber]

I mean, the cult itself was international. I don't wanna brag, but it was like the second largest cult for a while. Oh, I know, I know.

[Jason Alexander]

What was number one? Scientology.

[Amber]

Yeah. Uh, yes, I think. Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

All right.

[Amber]

Oh, I could be wrong. No, I think that's right.

[Jason Alexander]

You know, we were. Whatchamacallit. What's the one where you can't dance or you burn in hell?

[Amber]

Baptist.

[Jason Alexander]

No. What was the movie?

[Eddie]

Footloose.

[Amber]

Footloose.

[Jason Alexander]

We were Footloose.

[Amber]

Okay.

[Jason Alexander]

That was our world. Okay, go on.

[Amber]

We lived in a commune. I don't know, maybe I'm too young to remember how many people were there, but 200 maybe somewhere. I don't know.

[Jason Alexander]

Not thousands, but.

[Amber]

No, no, no. And it was an old, like a convent. It used to be a convent. And they bought it. Just creepy, super creepy. And we had, like, dorms and so we lived in like a dorm, which I think, I think the weirdest Part that I just learned recently, like, in the last month, that my parents would work on the farm during the day, and then they would go to Bible class at night for, like, hours. And I was like, what did you do with me, the baby? And they're like, oh, we just left you in the room. And, like, somebody would walk up and down the hallways just to make sure all the babies were okay. And I was like, you left babies alone?

[Jason Alexander]

Anyway, it was a different time.

[Amber]

It was the 80s they didn't actually care about.

[Jason Alexander]

This is when America was great.

[Amber]

That's back. We're all trying to get back there.

[Jason Alexander]

What year are we trying to get back to again? I always forget.

[Amber]

80S, 60s, 20s, I don't know.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah, I have a theory about that, too.

[Amber]

What is it?

[Jason Alexander]

You ever go to talk to a friend of yours that never left your hometown, and then when they, like, oh, this place sucks now. It used to be so much better. They're the ones that have the revisionist history.

[Amber]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

That People that, like, never go on to anything else because they were in.

[Amber]

High school and they had, like, a great time.

[Jason Alexander]

Right.

[Amber]

And so they remember making out at the drive in.

[Jason Alexander]

Those are the people that. All of those people are the ones, like, things used to be better.

[Amber]

That's who just won the election.

[Jason Alexander]

Yes, exactly. But you're still cool with Christianity?

[Amber]

I'm back. Back into Christianity.

[Jason Alexander]

Do we want to talk about the name of the cult, or is that.

[Amber]

Yeah, yeah. It's called the Way International.

[Jason Alexander]

The Way International the Way. And they're still around, so I follow them on Instagram. Sure you do.

[Amber]

I like to keep up with, like.

[Jason Alexander]

What, do they post ass shots?

[Amber]

No, but what's interesting is they were, like, big for a minute, and then they got sued by, like, tons of women for, you know, rape and sexual assault, like, as happens.

[Jason Alexander]

Yep.

[Amber]

It kind of fell apart. And then they started. They kind of, like, are coming back, and now they're, like, revisionist. Like, if you go to their Wikipedia, everything about all the scandals are gone. Like, they have edited it, and now they're just like, Instagram full of, like, happy people at camp, like, singing songs and doing aerobics.

[Jason Alexander]

What's the one that the God Hates Fags church.

[Amber]

Oh, Westboro Baptist.

[Jason Alexander]

Here's why. I honestly have some. Don't take this out of context.

[Amber]

All right.

[Jason Alexander]

Where I can accept them.

[Amber]

Okay.

[Jason Alexander]

Over other. I like that they have a hard line.

[Amber]

Okay. I don't disagree with you. That I appreciate people who are consistent.

[Jason Alexander]

Right. These churches. These churches that just keep kind of evolving. We're okay with. We love gay people.

[Amber]

Oh, well, I go to a church now that loves gay people, right?

[Jason Alexander]

Because they all want money, so they just keep opening their arms up.

[Amber]

That's not true. That's not true.

[Jason Alexander]

No. Come on.

[Amber]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Jason Alexander]

Every mega church in this country should not be tax exempt.

[Amber]

Dinner. Tash, I should not have to tell you that Jesus says nothing about gay people in the Bible. There's not a single verse and you should know that.

[Jason Alexander]

What about Sodom and Gomorrah?

[Amber]

Sodom and Gomorrah. Okay. That's an angel that comes and is like, excuse me, can I go rape your.

[Jason Alexander]

Wasn't that a bunch of man on man stuff going on? And it just sickened the Lord.

[Amber]

No, What I. I would argue that what sickened the Lord was someone who showed up at a door and was like, hey man, can I rape your angel guest? And they were like, no, no.

[Jason Alexander]

Well, that's. You don't want it. But back to this megachurch stuff.

[Amber]

Megachurch. Okay. Yeah, that's a.

[Jason Alexander]

All of those should be.

[Amber]

That is money driven. Yes. I mean, I can't. That's like a complicated but. Yes. I don't. I don't know that I disagree with you.

[Jason Alexander]

Oh yeah, I'm getting heated already. By the way, your parents strict religion. Strict religion. Didn't stay married.

[Amber]

I know. That's how we got kicked out of the cult.

[Jason Alexander]

Oh, they kicked us out. That boots you.

[Amber]

If you get divorced.

[Jason Alexander]

When did they get divorced?

[Amber]

Communicated when I was 6. So they like to.

[Jason Alexander]

Why did you make them break up?

[Amber]

I just. I don't know. I really wanted an interesting life and I was like, you two being happy not to.

[Jason Alexander]

Which one of them was more vested into the church?

[Amber]

My mom, I'd say, is much more religious. She is still very, very deeply religious. And my dad now is like a little more open and casual. Like we're still. They're still Christian, but like, how long.

[Jason Alexander]

Did it take you to un. Brainwash?

[Amber]

I guess when I went to college, I was sort of like, oh, I have to. I have to rethink some of this stuff. And it was. It was gradual. Part of the whole idea of the way was like question everything, question all authority. Because they don't believe that other churches have it right. They're very anti trinity.

[Jason Alexander]

That's. Every religion, every religion believes we are right and everyone else is wrong.

[Amber]

100%. 100%. But part of their thing was like, everyone else is wrong and only our little group is right. And I think that instilled in me this, like, skepticism of everything. And so then I was like, oh, wait, what if this? What if this is wrong? And then I started to kind of.

[Jason Alexander]

Go, do they believe that everyone else burns in hell?

[Amber]

No. Hilariously, they believe everyone who isn't Christian burns in hell. But very hilariously, to me, they believe if you accept Christ into your heart and you're baptized and all that stuff, you go to heaven. But they also believe most Christians are wrong, so they're fixed for that. Is that in heaven we're all gonna have jobs, and if you don't follow our path, then you're gonna have a really shitty job. Like being a bone cooker.

[Jason Alexander]

Damn it. Are you telling me that I'm gonna have a bad job? Yes, because I've been baptized and I've accepted them. Right.

[Amber]

So you'll go to heaven that way.

[Jason Alexander]

Thank you.

[Amber]

But when God burns the earth and it's full of dead corpses, you're gonna be the ones picking up bones, which I think is the funniest way to punish you.

[Jason Alexander]

Because I've always been told, too, that heaven there's gonna be. When I've asked these questions as a child, like, so all of my Jewish friends are gonna burn in hell. So all of every Buddhist burns in hell is why can't we definitively say, why won't you say that?

[Amber]

I think they do.

[Jason Alexander]

No, no, my Sunday school teacher wouldn't say it.

[Amber]

Oh, really? My Sunday school teacher would. Oh, well, yeah, they were happy to.

[Jason Alexander]

Tell, but they always would say that there's gonna be more people in heaven than there will be.

[Amber]

Well, there's like, a second chance.

[Jason Alexander]

When Jesus comes back.

[Amber]

Yeah, when Jesus comes back.

[Jason Alexander]

Oh, if he comes back, I'll fall back.

[Amber]

There's a second chance.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm sorry about that.

[Amber]

Ooh, my bad.

[Jason Alexander]

I was way off.

[Amber]

Yeah. So you're just getting the second chance.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm starting to love the way. I don't know what their dues are, but it's gotta be cheaper than the Soho House.

[Amber]

I think it's cheaper. They were very communist for a while. You had to give them all their money and then they would dole it back out.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm not gonna do that. All right. You studied English in college and then moved to LA to pursue acting.

[Amber]

I studied in English and theater.

[Jason Alexander]

Okay. I didn't know about the theater. Yeah.

[Amber]

Wow. Who's your research team?

[Jason Alexander]

Just Dylan. How long were you out in la?

[Amber]

Seven years.

[Jason Alexander]

Did you enjoy Los Angeles?

[Amber]

Yes, I love la. I could never live Here again. But I love it.

[Jason Alexander]

Don't say you could never live here.

[Amber]

I don't think I could.

[Jason Alexander]

You might have to when we separate.

[Amber]

No, I'll go to. I'll go to the East Coast. I like the weather better.

[Jason Alexander]

So you move out here to pursue acting. Was it. Did you say, did it run its course? Did you lose interest? Did you like. Oh, I'm not gonna.

[Amber]

Well, I was very poor.

[Jason Alexander]

That's what you're supposed to be when you moved out.

[Amber]

I know you were. Yeah, it just was exotic. I mean, I did a bunch of things. It was very fun. I did like stand up for a little while. I did improv for many years in a lovely time community. I was a clown. I did lots of fun stuff. I just. No one was ever gonna pay me, so I just had to, you know, like, make money.

[Jason Alexander]

I mean, my, my theory on show business is that if you just don't quit, eventually you'll get.

[Amber]

Something will happen.

[Jason Alexander]

You'll get like a commercial, a paycheck.

[Amber]

A paycheck. Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

I don't know if it's gonna be a great paycheck, but if you never quit.

[Amber]

No, I think you're right. You're probably right. I just.

[Jason Alexander]

It just waits for people to quit. That's what show business is.

[Amber]

I do think, like, I'm a big fan of like abandoning your dream. Like at some point you're just like, oh, hey, maybe this dream sucks and isn't for me. And it turned out like I defeated. And I felt so miserable and sad and worthless all the time. And I felt like, oh, maybe I'm just like a bad person who can't do anything. And then I started to get into politics and everyone was like, oh, you're amazing. And I was like, I'm good at something, it turns out. So I just needed a different.

[Jason Alexander]

And that's way more important in the scheme of things. Do you believe?

[Amber]

Do I. No, I don't.

[Jason Alexander]

Good.

[Amber]

Cause it's not. The real important job is comedian. I think that is.

[Jason Alexander]

No, it's not either. I'm a big believer that my job is embarrassing.

[Amber]

Embarrassing, yes.

[Jason Alexander]

When I think of like actual standup. I'm going to go make people laugh.

[Amber]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah. It's ridiculous.

[Amber]

Yeah, well, that's. I, yeah, I'm. I agree.

[Jason Alexander]

I do not put any self importance on this. You actually had a clown service business.

[Amber]

Yes, sadly.

[Jason Alexander]

Okay, let's.

[Amber]

It didn't go anywhere.

[Jason Alexander]

Go ahead and put the. Right there. When she said it didn't go anywhere. Put the sad Clown voice. Right.

[Amber]

There.

[Jason Alexander]

Are most democratic speechwriters former clowns?

[Amber]

No, I might be the only one.

[Jason Alexander]

What was your clown experience?

[Amber]

Ugh, man. I mean, it was like the worst and the best. And I really. I say clown, but I was. I don't want to. I don't want to impress you too much, but I was a princess.

[Jason Alexander]

You don't want to toot your own nose?

[Amber]

Yeah, I was a princess. I would dress up mostly as, like, Belle and Cinderella and the Little Mermaid, and I would just show up and 5 year olds just adored me and I would do magic and, like, balloon animals and. Oh, but.

[Jason Alexander]

So you weren't a clown at all?

[Amber]

I was a clown, yeah. Bubbles the clown was my name. I did both.

[Jason Alexander]

But you were a princess.

[Amber]

I did both. Cause, I mean, you've probably hired something for your child's party. Maybe.

[Jason Alexander]

How did you transition completely from LA broken dream to speechwriter?

[Amber]

I started. I was just doing a lot of, like, volunteer work for Planned Parenthood and murders.

[Jason Alexander]

Sorry.

[Amber]

No, I started, like, I don't know, volunteering. I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing. And so I, like, showed up. Actually. The Democratic Party of the San Fernando Valley is, like, kind of a big power player.

[Jason Alexander]

Okay.

[Amber]

And so I showed up to the campaign headquarters and I was like, put me to work and I volunteered for a campaign and I would, like, work during the day and come at night to, like, run their phone bank. And they gave me an award for the best volunteer. And then I got from there. I got a job with Bob Blumenfield, who's a council member now in la, but he was an assembly member. And it was like, I got paid, like $27,000 a year to go to council meetings and be like, bob Blumenfield cares about the potholes. And I was like, what could be better than this? Like, I was so happy.

[Jason Alexander]

I love it. I love it when people are happy about what they do.

[Amber]

Where did I go from here? And then I was like, oh, but I can't. I can't do, like, I can't do policy. I'm not, like, smart enough for that. And I'm not like a comms. I don't want to talk to reporters. And then I was like, oh, I used to write plays. I'm a playwright. And I was like, oh, speechwriting is just like playwriting for one person. So I just begged Bob to let me write his speeches when he was here in the district. And I remember my first one I did, it was like a five minute speech. And I like, pored over it. And it was so. Like, I tried so hard, and I gave it to him, and he went to the event, and he read one line that I had written and nothing else.

[Jason Alexander]

And I was like, was that a gut punch?

[Amber]

No, I was thrilled.

[Jason Alexander]

You were thrilled?

[Amber]

I was like, this is the greatest day of my life. Like, it just was so. Again, I was so broken from, like, auditioning. And, like, one of the last auditions I did. I'm sure you are familiar with these, but one of the last auditions I did, they lined us all up, and they were like, just do the chicken dance with no music. And it was just like, a line of people being like. And it was the most humiliating thing. So coming from that to, like, someone read something I wrote, just felt like.

[Jason Alexander]

I mean, I never. There's. I don't think. Regardless if I landed a spot or not, there was never an audition that I thought, oh, that was worth it, because I got. No, no, I was. I was. And I. I mean, I did, you know, a fraction of what my peers were doing. I wouldn't audition. I just, like, no. One time I went for an Apple, won a huge campaign, and it was. Sure enough, it was like, yeah, start. Start dancing and walking and dancing. And I'm like. And I think I. I don't know if I actually did it. I think I might have just got up and left.

[Amber]

Yeah, I went to an Apple one once, and they were like, you're perfect for this. We would hire you on the spot, but Steve Jobs has to make the call. And just, like, for an hour, just, like, told me how amazing I was. And then I never heard from them. And it was just that where I was like, you probably died. It's probably what happened.

[Jason Alexander]

Most campaigns have no budget for speechwriters, but they'll hire you and put you under some, like, a different title. Is that true or no? Or if they don't have money for a speechwriter, they'll be like, no, no, we'll still hire you, but you have to do other things.

[Amber]

No, no, no. Most Hill office. Most congressional offices don't have budgets, okay. For speech raters. So the Senate has more money per office. House members don't have much of a budget, so they only get, like, 10 staffers. Or depending on who they are, they get maybe more. But most Hill offices don't. Won't have speechwriters because they're just like, you have a comms director and maybe a press secretary, and that's it.

[Jason Alexander]

Are you always looking for work? Is it?

[Amber]

No, I don't want to work. No, I do want to work. I love working. Hire me.

[Jason Alexander]

But people come to you. Is that where you're at now?

[Amber]

Yeah. So I left the White House a year ago, and now I help people. I write speeches. I do trainings. I do narrative development. This is all. Sorry if it's boring, but, you know. Yeah. I help people find their voice in various different ways, and they hire me for, you know, nonprofits or for profits, some politicians. Still.

[Jason Alexander]

You lead with jokes still?

[Amber]

Is that sometimes? Yeah. I don't know.

[Jason Alexander]

Do you put swear words in any of your speeches?

[Amber]

Have I ever. Yes, but not generally. No. People are still fairly anti swear words.

[Jason Alexander]

Just be cool. Little blue speech.

[Amber]

Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

Oh, this one's edgy. Here we go. What's the craziest thing you've ever written that actually made it into a speech where you were just like, oh, let's just see if I can get this in there.

[Amber]

Not nothing ever.

[Jason Alexander]

Or get them to say, baba booie.

[Amber]

They won't do that.

[Jason Alexander]

I know that's not. That example.

[Amber]

I had some, like, really creative speeches that I was like, oh, this is so good. And then, of course, I gave it to the person. They were like, oh, thanks. Maybe not.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah. Do you ever watch them take your speech and do this to it?

[Amber]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, editing is, like, a big part of the process.

[Jason Alexander]

Well, because, like, in a writer's room on a television show, writers, if the room is a good room, they can fight for their.

[Amber]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

So do you get to fight for.

[Amber]

Your words that all the time. That's like, half of what I did at the White House was just like, I think of myself when I'm in that room. I do think of myself as, like, the noble artist defending the human language. And like, every. You know, every speech is like, there are 15 lawyers who want to put in, like, eight different clauses and not say one, but, like, achieved a positive outcome or, like, you know, all the different things that people want to change. And I am always, like, it is my sacred duty to defend, like, the message and the voice and to make this sound like something anyone could understand. So I got into a lot of fights of just. I mean, that's. I. That was like, half my role is just like, this word.

[Jason Alexander]

Do you play tricks? Like, I know a lot of writers will be like, oh, I know I'm not getting this in, but that'll at least make me get this in.

[Amber]

Yeah. Like, make it really extreme, and then be like, I guess I'll just tone it down a little. Bit. And that's what I really wanted.

[Jason Alexander]

Do you think AI is going to steal some of your work?

[Amber]

I am worried about AI ruining the next generation. I'm not worried about me so much. I, I'm amazing, very talented. But you get to this place by doing a lot of, like, inane work. And that is what AI can do. But you have to, like, do it. You know, you got to like, write a bunch of dumb talking points and figure out what reporters are responding to and write the first draft and then have someone rip it up and tear it to shreds and tell you why you suck. And if AI is doing that, then there's just a generation of new writers who don't get that experience. And that's what I'm really worried about.

[Jason Alexander]

How much of being a speechwriter is rewriting the same speech a lot? Is that what you do? You just give it a little refresh?

[Amber]

Oh, you mean the same speech?

[Jason Alexander]

I don't know.

[Amber]

In general, it depends.

[Jason Alexander]

If you have stuff on file that you're like, like, oh, this works again.

[Amber]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, some people want the same speech over and over and over. Some people, like Dr. Biden never, like, she likes different stuff. So we would do new speeches all the time. It was a lot of new speeches. And sometimes you like, pull like, oh, that's a good story. Put it over here. It's like a puzzle that you're putting together, but it just depends on the person. Everyone's kind of different.

[Jason Alexander]

By the way, speechwriters make tons of money. True or false?

[Amber]

False. No, no.

[Jason Alexander]

It doesn't matter how high up the.

[Amber]

The, I mean, there, there are different. Yes, there are some speech writers who make lots of money. Like White House speechwriters don't make money.

[Jason Alexander]

Do you get credit?

[Amber]

No.

[Jason Alexander]

Well, always or never? I'm sorry. Never.

[Amber]

I, I, I am publicly, like, I was Dr. Biden's speechwriter. I, that is public knowledge. You could google me.

[Jason Alexander]

And do you like to say Dr. Biden just to infuriate the. Right, yes.

[Amber]

Dr. Biden.

[Jason Alexander]

Be honest. As a speechwriter, how nerve wracking is it to watch Joe Biden deliver a speech or answer a simple question?

[Amber]

I love Joe.

[Jason Alexander]

I love him too.

[Amber]

It is not as nerve wracking as standing with his teleprompter when he's speaking and watching. Because we would always, you know, we did a lot of events together. And so like his speechwriter and I would always be like, together at the teleprompter. And I would just be like. Cause they have to go like, oh, God, oh, God, he's jumping. He's jumping forward. And like, you know, he.

[Jason Alexander]

Reading a teleprompter is a skill.

[Amber]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

It's a real skill and it takes practice. I did a show for 13 years off a prompter.

[Amber]

It's hard.

[Jason Alexander]

And what's also a real skill is the teleprompt operator. And you need to have a magical connection with that person that knows when you're off book. They. They know. Oh, well, you basically hit this note. Let's get you to the next spot.

[Amber]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

And I can. You can always tell when it's like that. That relationship's garbage right there. They're all. Yeah, I mean, that's why. I mean, say what you want about Trump, and I hope it's bad stuff, but the fact that. Is anyone writing for him, I mean.

[Amber]

He had speechwriters or he has speechwriters, but does he use. I imagine they are nonsense. Sort of like giving him like, cues.

[Jason Alexander]

The nonsense to read what his teleprompter would say. I would just be fascinated.

[Amber]

I would love. I would love to. Did you see at one of the Republican rallies, they had the teleprompter up. I think it was Kari Lake. And they were like, get off stage, Trump is waiting. And I was like, oh, that's what we need, like, for the, you know, the pre show. People who are like, it's my turn to talk.

[Jason Alexander]

I hate, I hate everything that the Democratic Party does right now.

[Amber]

Great.

[Jason Alexander]

Just. They're just shambles. How dare you, all of you guys.

[Amber]

I take full responsibility.

[Jason Alexander]

Get that shamble.

[Amber]

It's all me.

[Jason Alexander]

But that's what happens. I say this right now because I'm on the heels of four years, and then at the end of four years, I'm going to be all, yeah, you're.

[Amber]

Going to be all in.

[Jason Alexander]

I just got a text. They hear me. I just got a text from so and so, who worked under so and so. And. And they said this. We're good. We're good.

[Amber]

We're gonna crush it. Don't worry.

[Jason Alexander]

I should just go back. I gotta start screen grabbing all the bullshit that I heard.

[Amber]

But that's the thing. Everyone gets to be. Everyone just gets to look back and be like, I knew the whole time. Like, no one knows.

[Jason Alexander]

No one knows. And it's always gonna be close.

[Amber]

It's always gonna be close.

[Jason Alexander]

So weird that we're like that. That, like this country has 50% of people that think this way and 50% that think that it just Seems like it might not be real. Maybe I'm gonna start dealing with believe in what's his name.

[Amber]

What's his name?

[Jason Alexander]

That dumb football player.

[Amber]

What?

[Jason Alexander]

Aaron Rodgers.

[Amber]

Wait, what? What does he say?

[Jason Alexander]

I don't know. He's a conspiracy nut.

[Amber]

Oh, don't do that.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah. I'm not a conspiracy nut. You know why? Because I don't believe people can actually keep secrets.

[Amber]

Oh, my God. Can I confirm that? Having worked in the government, so many people are like, this is a government conspiracy. I'm like, kids, it's not. We're not that competent. It's just the dummies that, you know, doing their best.

[Jason Alexander]

Right.

[Amber]

The idea that we can cover up anything is laughable. Like, we're just not. There's just too many people.

[Jason Alexander]

Yes.

[Amber]

Like, think about how many leaks come out of everything.

[Jason Alexander]

The moving parts alone. Yeah. No, it's. What? That makes me feel good.

[Amber]

Yeah. You're right.

[Jason Alexander]

Is politics mostly theater?

[Amber]

Some theater policy is not theater. Policy is important and hard, but no one cares about it, so we have to present it to the world.

[Jason Alexander]

Do you want to run for office one day?

[Amber]

Never.

[Jason Alexander]

What do you do to relax?

[Amber]

Mmm. I bake. I bake cakes and I bike.

[Jason Alexander]

What kind of cakes are you doing? Are you doing, like, the crazy? I don't know that it's a cake cake.

[Amber]

No, I'm not that good.

[Jason Alexander]

Okay.

[Amber]

I'm just. It's like a nice. I actually started after Trump won the first time because I was, like, working. I was writing speeches in my basement alone, and it's, like, very sad and lonely.

[Jason Alexander]

Because you were doing what Trump wanted. You were turning into the woman.

[Amber]

Exactly. A sad lone harpy.

[Jason Alexander]

Learn how to bake. Got it.

[Amber]

Exactly. I was like, how do I become more feminine? But it just. It's very meditative. You, like. You know, you, like, sift the flour, and I, like, make myself a cocktail and listen to an audiobook.

[Jason Alexander]

I hate sifting flour.

[Amber]

I like it. It's very, like. I don't know. It's very vital.

[Jason Alexander]

Ugh. It's just like.

[Amber]

Oh, no, I don't like that one. It hurts your hands. No, you gotta do the.

[Jason Alexander]

The bowl.

[Amber]

Yeah, yeah, that's great. And then I make elaborate. My children, because I have twins. I have. Every year, I get. I tell them. They get to each pick a theme, like a cake choice, and then I put them together. And so, like, one year we had, like.

[Jason Alexander]

You're like the mom that has two kids that play for different universities, and she sews both jerseys together.

[Amber]

Yeah. Like, that. Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

Are you cool Mom? Do they talk to you normal, or do they talk to you like mom?

[Amber]

Yes. I think we talk a lot, but I'm like, mom, like, I have to lay down the law. We have to. My husband. I are very like, we're not your friend.

[Jason Alexander]

You're right. Cool mom in my head is just the movie mean girls. She walks in, it's like, I'm one of you. Yeah.

[Amber]

I'm not like other moms. I'm a cool mom. Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

What's your go to favorite cake?

[Amber]

Oh, well, there's this really good chocolate cake that I put salted caramel on that's really good. It's very rich. And then you make homemade salted caramel.

[Jason Alexander]

How many layers are we talking?

[Amber]

Well, the cake sheet. No, the cake is like, three layers. And then if you do tears.

[Jason Alexander]

What's the most tears you've ever done?

[Amber]

I've only done three.

[Jason Alexander]

Okay.

[Amber]

Yeah, I did, like, a couple wedding cakes. You've done wedding cakes Just, like, for friends.

[Jason Alexander]

Right. But there's. I mean, there's. There's still a wedding.

[Amber]

I made a superhero girls cake for the girl's birthday one time. I made little chocolate Poison Ivy into, like, Wonder Woman.

[Jason Alexander]

That's amazing. Well, I care more about the cake than any speech you've written.

[Amber]

Yeah, me too.

[Jason Alexander]

I did. We had a naked cake for our wedding.

[Amber]

You like that?

[Jason Alexander]

I did. I'm not an icing person.

[Amber]

Oh, I think people say that, but I make really good icing.

[Jason Alexander]

I like icing.

[Amber]

It's cream cheese and not too sweet.

[Jason Alexander]

Okay.

[Amber]

It's really good.

[Jason Alexander]

Eh, sometimes I like it. Sometimes. Do you mess with cookies and other things Bars?

[Amber]

Not really.

[Jason Alexander]

Brownies. Where you at on brownies?

[Amber]

Pies. I make a lot of pies.

[Jason Alexander]

I love a good pie.

[Amber]

Yeah. Especially for holidays.

[Jason Alexander]

I need a heavy amount of crumble on top, though. I need crust all over it.

[Amber]

Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

I don't need some of these fruit pies. Some of them are hideous.

[Amber]

I'm not the biggest fruit pie. The only fruit pie I love is. It's apple pie with salted caramel. I really. I'm just. I really love salted caramel.

[Jason Alexander]

Do I say caramel or do you say caramel ever?

[Amber]

I say both.

[Jason Alexander]

Okay.

[Amber]

Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

Do you ever laugh at the fact that the way you were raised and now what sits before me and how you raise your daughters?

[Amber]

No, I was gonna ask you that, actually. Do you ever feel like if I don't give my children, like, crippling guilt and anxiety, then they won't Turn out right?

[Jason Alexander]

Oh, no.

[Amber]

I feel like. I don't know, I feel like, don't you have to go through a phase where you're like, am I a bad person who will burn in house? I don't know. I'm not doing that to my kids. But there is a part of me that's like, oh, is that critical to being a good person before? Do you have to grow out of it in order to recover and then be normal?

[Jason Alexander]

I mean, I think maybe they won't. They might not have some of the drive that I had.

[Amber]

Yeah, I mean, I guess it's similar to, like, going to middle class and then having, like, more resources. And you're like, they're not gonna know what it's like to, like, fight.

[Jason Alexander]

I don't know. I just, you know, like, Elon Musk. You love that guy.

[Amber]

Oh, God, what a guy.

[Jason Alexander]

So it's like, people can say things like, oh, what have you done? Like, what's he's done? Let's say he's a million times smarter than I will ever be. Let's say his contributions to the world actually have a long term effect. And it has like, blah, blah, blah. Whatever you want to say, I'll agree to all of it without even fighting. But guess what?

[Amber]

What?

[Jason Alexander]

All my kids love me. That to me, is all I cared about.

[Amber]

No, I agree.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm like, my kids love me. Your kids don't love you.

[Amber]

No, no. You'll die alone, surrounded by your money, cozied up in your money.

[Jason Alexander]

Well, that part of it sounds nice. Yeah, that part of it.

[Amber]

Every billionaire is a policy failure.

[Jason Alexander]

When is Mitch McConnell gonna die?

[Amber]

Oh, God. Do you think he's made a pact with the devil to just go forever?

[Jason Alexander]

I have no idea.

[Amber]

I don't know.

[Jason Alexander]

All I want is my kids to run up and hang from his neck.

[Amber]

Cause you have so much affection for him and you want them to have.

[Jason Alexander]

A feeling, not hurt him. I just want them to see how far they can. I want them to take it. Because when they wrestle me, sometimes they fish hook me and move my face around and they think it's funny.

[Amber]

Do you worry that that's gonna be you?

[Jason Alexander]

No.

[Amber]

Cause they're fish hooking me.

[Jason Alexander]

I don't worry at all. I just want them to. I want Mitch McConnell to take that one and just grab it and pull it over his head and just go, ah. Like scare kids. Oh, my God. Goodness. Forget politics. Who's the most genuine person you've met in dc?

[Amber]

Well, like, human. Like, I have lots of Friends like you don't know them.

[Jason Alexander]

Are they, are they good people?

[Amber]

Oh, yeah, no, D.C. is full of good people. I, I so the way that people on la, I feel that people on dc, of course, in the same way, like most people come to D.C. because they love America and they love. And there are of course people who are just like, assholes who want to make money and, like, have power. But most people, like, the hours suck, the pay is shitty. Like, pay on the Hill is terrible. Pay at the White House is horrible. Administration's okay. But, like, it's, it sucks. It's a shitty job. And then you just get shit on all the time. Like, every time something happens, everyone's like, these assholes over here. Like, we are, we are disappointing all the time. But for most people are trying their best. Like, lots of people are, are good people who just want to make the world better.

[Jason Alexander]

It's a great city. Yeah, I've always loved it too.

[Amber]

Yeah, it's great. It's got, like, nature, we've got beautiful, like, monuments and museums. They're all free. I'm so spoiled. I can't take my children anywhere now because any museum that wants to charge us, I'm like, this is outrageous.

[Jason Alexander]

When I was younger, in my 20s, and I would be walking around D.C. and I was like, this is the greatest city in the world. But I always said, what am I gonna do when I'm 70? Because that's all I see when I'm walking around, really. DC is just other 70 year olds enjoying everything. And I'm like, I'm like, just, I'm in their little group.

[Amber]

No, it's a lot of people.

[Jason Alexander]

I know, but not doing the touristy stuff that I was doing at 20.

[Amber]

No, I know. Yeah, yeah, that's true.

[Jason Alexander]

Everybody, everybody gets a gift on the show. This is all my Kamala gear.

[Amber]

Oh, my God, thank you. I love it.

[Jason Alexander]

Yep. And this, my son brought it to Share Day his Kamala doll because he was so excited for the first female president. And that was a huge failure. So.

[Amber]

Okay.

[Jason Alexander]

He doesn't need that ever again.

[Amber]

Thank you. Oh, but, you know.

[Jason Alexander]

Oh, you think she's gonna run again? Maybe I'll keep it.

[Eddie]

Maybe I'll keep it.

[Amber]

Your son needs no female role model.

[Jason Alexander]

And we just.

[Amber]

Because she didn't win, she's still the first woman vice president.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah.

[Amber]

So significant person.

[Jason Alexander]

Get that off my desk. What's. Throw that on the floor. We don't need no all that on the floor. I don't all do. What size? What size Feet do your daughters have?

[Amber]

What? Why?

[Jason Alexander]

I'm just curious.

[Amber]

I don't know.

[Jason Alexander]

Five.

[Amber]

Five, I think five.

[Jason Alexander]

My wife is tiny feet.

[Amber]

Oh, God. I have a friend who is a.

[Jason Alexander]

Size 5 foot, but she has shoes. She's too old to wear some of her cool shoes. So I'm giving your daughter some cool shoes. One of your daughters gets. These are golden goose.

[Amber]

Oh, they're actually gonna love those. Okay.

[Jason Alexander]

These are golden goose.

[Amber]

Wait, your wife bought these?

[Jason Alexander]

No, she had them a long time. Those are probably a thousand dollars.

[Amber]

No way.

[Jason Alexander]

Yes.

[Amber]

Wow. They're gonna love them. Okay, well, no, I think they'll definitely.

[Jason Alexander]

Hold on, because she shouldn't have those anymore. I'm like, you're too old, lady.

[Amber]

Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

By the way, some of this stuff has never been worn. Those just look aged. That's what they're. Then I got these. One of your daughters can have these, too.

[Amber]

Okay, good. I need one for both of them.

[Jason Alexander]

Wow.

[Amber]

Yeah, that's.

[Jason Alexander]

They're Uggs. She'll love those.

[Amber]

They've been telling me that I need to buy them. Uggs, and I just refuse. So now.

[Jason Alexander]

Now you got. You bring those. Look, there's still a sticker. Wow.

[Amber]

These are like house Uggs, I think. Where does one pair of these.

[Jason Alexander]

Can I tell you why she had those? Yeah, it was, I think, for a baby shower that she, like. Oh, they had silly pink something. And she didn't wear them.

[Amber]

She didn't wear them?

[Jason Alexander]

No, no.

[Amber]

They're house Uggs to wear around your. Right.

[Jason Alexander]

But it was, like, for a baby shower.

[Amber]

Okay.

[Jason Alexander]

It doesn't matter what the story.

[Amber]

I love it.

[Jason Alexander]

Get it off the desk, please. Do you ever put on the old princess outfit for the girls?

[Amber]

No, but I did. No. Oh, I blow their mind. I sold all my presentations.

[Jason Alexander]

But do you do the magic to.

[Amber]

No, but the other. Like, a month ago, my husband ran a race, and it was like a small race, and they had a balloon person.

[Jason Alexander]

Did you write speeches for it? And he lost?

[Amber]

No, actually, he won. He won the race. And they were doing ballooning, and I was. My daughter came up to me, and she was like, do you see this dog? It's awful. And I was like, okay, hold on. And I, like, went over and I made her. I was like, can I borrow this? And I made her a dog. And then the children just lined up, and for an hour, I just started making balloon animals for kids. And my husband came over and was like, I won this race, and they gave me a medal. And you were over here making balloon animals and I was like, sorry.

[Jason Alexander]

Oh, I have one more thing.

[Amber]

Oh, my God, I get so many presents.

[Jason Alexander]

No, this isn't good.

[Amber]

This is great. Cause I always have to bring things home for my kids and I always forget.

[Jason Alexander]

This is actually just for me. Okay. It's a card for my wife that I want you to write inside for me.

[Amber]

Oh, I get paid a lot of money to do that.

[Jason Alexander]

No, no, I know. That's why this is a gift. That's why it's a gift. Okay. You just have to. I just need you to pen something, by the way.

[Amber]

Oh, this is my gift to you.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah. By the way, isn't that a good card?

[Amber]

That's actually pretty. I would. That's so cute. I would put this in a child's bedroom.

[Jason Alexander]

Oh, well, we've got enough things curated on our shelves in our children's bedrooms. I'll let you work on that later.

[Amber]

Okay?

[Jason Alexander]

You just. We'll do that later. Okay, that's fine.

[Amber]

I can't come up with something on the spot.

[Jason Alexander]

All right, yeah. You know what? I'll just have you mail it to her.

[Amber]

Okay, great. Can you give me the address?

[Jason Alexander]

I will.

[Amber]

Okay.

[Jason Alexander]

You think I'm joking?

[Amber]

Dear wife, yes, you are the love of my life.

[Jason Alexander]

Well, listen, you can freestyle if you want to, but I. And nothing's off limits because normally. What? I. I don't know if you're. There's no way you saw this. Who died? Who was great? The Duck Affleck.

[Amber]

What?

[Jason Alexander]

Gilbert Godfrey.

[Amber]

Oh, Gilbert Godfrey.

[Jason Alexander]

Gilbert Godfrey. Just rest in peace. The sweetest man. There's a documentary about him, and he was like a weird hoarder of freed stuff from hotels, but his wife pulled out all the cards that he'd ever written her, and all of them just say, fuck you.

[Amber]

Oh, I thought it was gonna be so sweet.

[Jason Alexander]

Every one of them. Every one of them is like, f. Fucking shut up. Not even shut up. It's like, it's your birthday. Go fuck yourself. Oh, and it tickled me. She just had so many of them.

[Amber]

Oh, was she lovingly showing them years.

[Jason Alexander]

And years and years. They have kids, you know. It's just the sweetest thing in the world. It brought a tear to my eye when I watched it. I was like, oh, my goodness. So good. So good to write like that. Amber.

[Amber]

Yes.

[Jason Alexander]

Thank you for being on the show.

[Amber]

Thank you for having me.

[Jason Alexander]

I really hope you turn this whole thing around.

[Amber]

I plan to. I plan to. Yeah. I've got a four point plan to fix America.

[Jason Alexander]

You don't need to fix America.

[Amber]

Okay. Just the Democratic Party.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah, that would be nice. But also what you should do right now is just for the next four years, let's just take care of the daughters.

[Amber]

Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

And then pop your head back up.

[Amber]

Yeah, yeah, that's my plan. Yeah. Go to the park, you know, bake some cakes.

[Jason Alexander]

Oh, man. By the way, the cakes, I didn't talk enough about that.

[Amber]

You didn't make money for tarot either? I was promised.

[Jason Alexander]

Oh, well, I mean, is that really something you believe in or is it just something?

[Amber]

Yeah, well, yes, yes. I love it deeply. But it's not like.

[Jason Alexander]

Do you go to readings or do you give readings?

[Amber]

Yeah, I give readings.

[Jason Alexander]

Ugh.

[Amber]

Dumb. Actually, no, I think I could convince you that it's not dumb, because. Do you want me to.

[Jason Alexander]

To convince me? Yeah. I'm dying for this.

[Amber]

Okay. Tarot cards are, like universal, like Jungian symbols. You know Joseph Campbell's hero's journey.

[Jason Alexander]

Yes.

[Amber]

So that is sort of the. Do you not. You do.

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah, it was more for John's.

[Amber]

So those symbols are like universal symbols that we project our subconscious onto. Basically, we are laying out cards and then we tell a story, and that's just like storytelling. So it's not like magic. It doesn't have to be magic. Like, I'm not telling the future.

[Jason Alexander]

It's therapy for witches.

[Amber]

Exactly. It's therapy for witches. Yes, exactly.

[Jason Alexander]

I don't believe in therapy, so I've got a lot of problems. I don't want to work through my problems by talking about it. Oh, sorry.

[Amber]

You don't want to work through your problems. Got it. I'd prefer to suppress. Nothing is wrong. Ever.

[Jason Alexander]

No, everything's wrong I'm aware of.

[Amber]

Oh, sorry. You're just accepting. Well, that's very Buddhist of you, isn't it?

[Jason Alexander]

Look at that, guys.

[Amber]

You're enlightened.

[Jason Alexander]

I finally found my religion. All right. Thank you for fixing the world, Amber.

[Amber]

Okay. You're welcome. Thank you.

[Jason Alexander]

I don't have a sign off.

[Amber]

Oh, no. Okay, work on it. Do you want me to write you one?

[Jason Alexander]

Write me a sign off that I can do for you.

[Amber]

Very expensive for my.

[Jason Alexander]

All right, we'll pay for it, guys. Do we have it in the budget?

[Amber]

Hire me.

[Jon Stewart]

Please catch Jon Stewart back in action on the Daily show and in your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special Content just for podcast listeners like in depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jason Alexander]

Foreign Alexander and I'm Peter Tilden and.

[Peter Tilden]

Together on the really Know really podcast.

[Jason Alexander]

Our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions.

[Peter Tilden]

Like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor.

[Jason Alexander]

We got the answer.

[Peter Tilden]

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by.

[Jason Alexander]

Mr. Brian Cranston is. What?

[Amber]

How are you?

[Jason Alexander]

Hello.

[Peter Tilden]

My friend Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park.

[Jason Alexander]

Wayne Knight, welcome to really no really, sir. Bless you all.

[Peter Tilden]

Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging.

[Jason Alexander]

Really? That's the opening? Really? No, really? Yeah. No, really.

[Peter Tilden]

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win 500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign Jason Bobblehead.

[Jason Alexander]

It's called really no really and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Paw show. Hey, thank you, Amber. Enjoy the inauguration. You guys can't believe it, but I somehow shaved for the interview and then grew back the scruff for the send off. That's wild stuff. How you doing, Carl? You get groomed tomorrow? There are some knots in you. I can tell. Anyway, hey, guys, you know our free plug segment?

[Amber]

Yeah.

[Jason Alexander]

It's having an effect on me. We've plugged bowling two times and I haven't bowled in 10 years. And I found myself recently bowling.

[Eddie]

Look at you, buddy.

[Jason Alexander]

And it really opened my eyes to how out of touch I've become. And I'm going to share it with you. Now, granted, this is in Tahoe. This is an incline village. And it's a. A Hawaiian chef opened up a bowling alley up there and they've got nice food. Now, you would never associate bowling with good food. As far as I'm concerned, they're even their thing. Their little line on their. I don't know if it's their promo. It just says, come for the food, stay for the bowling. Now the whole thing is booked up constantly. My wife's like, we gotta go. It's new and it's doing well. So we go there. We got a large group, way too many kids, you know, And I order pokey. You know, let's see what the stomach can handle. The guy's like, do you want the pokey spicy? I'm like, absolutely spicy. Pokey. I'm at a bowling alley. Of course I want. I want uncooked fish as spicy as possible.

[Eddie]

So good?

[Jason Alexander]

Yeah. And I got. And they got chopsticks on the ready, by the way. Delicious. My stomach handled it fine. No problem. Now let's talk about the bowling. They're like, you can have six people per lane. We had 11. That's already. I'm just like. My wife's like, well, the kids don't really count. And the lady's like, yeah, they count, but you can't have 11 people. And we're like, ah, we'll stand and just hover. And she's like, whatever. So she lets us bowl. We get into teams. So not everybody's just. You're not bowling all 10 frames. So my son is just furious that he's bowling once every eight minutes. I threw five frames. You ready for this, Eddie?

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Jason Alexander]

You're going to be proud of me. First roll, strike. Second roll strike. Third roll, spare. Okay.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Jason Alexander]

Then double gutter. Double gutter. Don't know how that happened. And then I. They had me do the 10th frame so that we could come back and win, you know? Think I'd pick off three strikes in a row. And I got a nine. What pound ball. Do you think I was using 13? 12. Should have. I used a 13.

[Eddie]

Might have kept you out of the gutter.

[Jason Alexander]

Ah, I was using a 12.

[Eddie]

I mean, later in the. The oil patterns are so different. Later.

[Jason Alexander]

Okay. I don't. There was no oil pattern. I don't know what that means. Here's Eddie. What? I want you to guess for real. I just. Just. And not. Not for where I was, but just. This is just to show you how in touch I am, because I thought. This is ridiculous. What do you think? Bowling for one hour, one lane, one hour. What is. What does that cost? I thought it should be like $2.50.

[Eddie]

I was gonna say 40.

[Jason Alexander]

You said 40.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I'm gonna think 40.

[Jason Alexander]

It was 50.

[Eddie]

All right.

[Jason Alexander]

Okay. So you're not out of touch, but isn't that number huge?

[Eddie]

Well, it would seem so. But you have 11 people there.

[Jason Alexander]

Well, we're not supposed to have 11 people. If I would have had one person, it would have been $50.

[Eddie]

It's way better, though, then you get bull more.

[Jason Alexander]

That's better. Ugh. My takeaway. Still, I don't get bullying at all. All right, let's talk gambling for a split second. I had a bad season betting on football. It's always easy for people to mock people's picks from the sidelines. But now I'm giving you an opportunity. Put in the comments section, your lock of the week. Any bet that you think I should make, I will put all my money on it. I'll do it starting next week. Okay. Check out tossshowstore.com get some merch. We got some new stuff coming out, some new headwear. I think Eddie's tour, he's gonna be in key West, Minneapolis, St. Louis, my tour, we're gonna be in New York and New Jersey in April and then I'm gonna do the Midwest in June. Also might head out to Lisbon for a quick pop up. If you're in Lisbon, you might want to come check out my show. The free plugs. Okay, we got any new free plug music this year? Woo. That is sexy. I didn't know free plug music could sound sexy. Well, that's good because this free plug is for the ladies. Whitefish, Montana, if you are a woman, if you identify as a woman and you are intimidated by the terrain park at the ski resort, come on down for lady power park hour on January 18th from 10am to 4pm lady power park hour. And it's from 10am to 4pm what does that mean? Is it one hour or is it all day? Well, whatever they need to rename it. It's ladies only. Non competitive introductory level slopestyle event at Whitefish Mountain Resort. Open to all skill levels, from first timers to those with years of experience. Our goal is to build confidence and a community for ladies in the terrain park. Now see, on ski resorts they have, they have, you know, a couple runs. A little small portion of the run will be the park where they got the ramps, the rails, the boxes. And a lot of times it's intimidating because, you know, the cool guys just hang out there and just kind of keep walking back and forth and hitting those jumps really hard. And you want to go over it because it's fun to go over a box. You just go slow over on your snowboard and you feel like you did something. Well. This is to build confidence for the ladies in there. All right? The event will be run by women in an effort to make it a comfortable and supportive environment and will be more fun and hype than competitive. Alright. Jeez. Oh, there's gonna Be prizes. I didn't know that. Prizes will be awarded, including best trick, Biggest air, best wipeout, best costume, most attempts, and most improved. I feel like they missed a few categories. Most attractive. Huh? If you're gonna make it ladies only, let's make it a beauty contest. Prizes are all donated by women, owned, run or funded companies. What if there's like a. What if I wanted to donate a prize? I'm not allowed to because. Because I was cursed with this hideous penis. That's a shame. Well, if they reach a certain level of participation, they will divide participants into separate categories. This is ridiculous. All right.

[Eddie]

That's a lot.

[Jason Alexander]

That's the Lady Power Park Hour, which, as we have learned, is six hours long. That's a good free plug. Nobody get hurt out there. It's not worth the prize. Going off a jump too fast. You know what I always thought they should invent? What's this for the big jumps. You know how, like, when you're driving down a road and they have those new speed limit signs and it'll show your speed or say, slow down or too fast.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Jason Alexander]

I think they need those right in front of those jumps, those big jumps. Like, you need to be going 21 miles an hour when you hit this and you'll land safely on the downslope.

[Eddie]

I like it.

[Jason Alexander]

And it should say, like, if you're going too fast, like, slow down so that you don't overshoot the landing, because that's where you really get hurt. You overshoot the landing or short the landing. That's where trouble. So we need these little signs that tell you how fast you're going and if you need to speed up or slow down. Yeah, that one's free. See you next week.

[Jon Stewart]

Jon Stewart is back at the Daily show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondence and contributors, and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm Jason Alexander.

[Peter Tilden]

And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the really Know really podcast is to get the.

[Jason Alexander]

True answers to life's baffling questions, like.

[Peter Tilden]

Why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor. What's in the museum of failure and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign. Jason Bobblehead the Really no Illy Podcast.

[Jason Alexander]

Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The forces shaping markets and the economy are often hiding behind a blur of.

[Eddie]

Numbers, so that's why we created the.

[Amber]

Big Take from Bloomberg Podcasts to give you the context you need to make sense of it all.

[Jason Alexander]

Every day, in just 15 minutes, we dive into one global business story that matters.

[Amber]

You'll hear from Bloomberg journalists like Matt Levine. A lot of this Meme stock stuff is, I think, embarrassing to the SEC.

[Jason Alexander]

Follow the Big Take podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.