My Favorite Clown - Gilly

Summary

Tosh Show – "My Favorite Clown – Gilly"

Host: Daniel Tosh (credited as "Carl" in this transcript)
Date: May 5, 2026
Guest: Guilford “Gilly the Clown” Adams
Co-hosts: Dylan
Length: ~62 minutes

Episode Overview

In this playful, offbeat episode of the Tosh Show, Daniel Tosh brings on Guilford Adams, better known across Los Angeles as "Gilly the Clown." The conversation journeys through the nuanced, often misunderstood world of modern clowning, including Gilly’s circuitous route from junior high magic, collegiate diving, acting, and even rock bands to his current life as an LA-based, one-man clown company. Along the way, Tosh and his co-host Dylan riff about celebrity advice, the etiquette and future of clowning, the challenges of performing for kids, and why even clowns have their limits. Nothing is sacred and much is hilarious, as usual.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrity Advice & Recovering Addicts (01:40–06:15)

• Daniel Tosh derides the phenomenon of celebrities dispensing advice on health, wellness, or religion, especially former addicts:

  • “Nothing annoys me more than hearing about health, physical health or spirituality…when it’s coming from a former addict.” (Carl, 01:42)
  • “Don’t tell me what I need to do to be healthier when you used to do heroin…I just don’t care.” (Carl, 02:07)

• Tosh’s own advice for life is tongue-in-cheek and anti-preachy:

  • “Have fun. Don’t work too hard. Don’t try to have all the answers. Get a couple good friends. Hang out with them a lot.” (Carl, 05:54)

2. Birthday Parties & Kids’ Evolving Tastes (06:04–08:30)

• Tosh shares the logic and logistics of birthday parties in his household:

  • “You celebrate [your birthday] on your birthday…Not our fault your birthday fell on a Monday.” (Carl, 06:41)

• He bemoans over-planning when a child’s interests inevitably change last-minute.

• Endorses clowns as the universal party favorite: “What I should have done is gone with a clown. Because young or old, everyone loves a clown.” (Carl, 08:23)

3. Gilly’s Origin Story: Texas, Magic, Church, and Diving (09:13–14:09)

• Gilly explains how his interest in magic and clowning began in the Methodist Church, which featured “caring clowns” for outreach and gospel spreading.
• Details homemade clown shoes (old Jordans, duct tape, big foam fronts) and his first gigs—nursing homes.
• High school and sports distracted him until a return to “physical acting” in college, pivoting from a springboard and platform diving background to acting.

“Jesus was a magician to a lot of people. He just didn’t charge. That was kind of his whole thing.” (Guilford, 09:59)

• Gilly draws parallels between bombing on stage as a comic and wiping out in diving—“You gotta get back up there right away.” (Guilford, 12:10)

4. Physicality and Evolution into Clowning (18:08–20:21)

• After discovering his tribe in the theater arts (vs. hard-partying swimmers), Gilly transitions from athletics to acting, leveraging his physicality (tumbling, flips).
• Names slapstick legends (Chaplin, Keaton, Three’s Company’s Jack Tripper) as influences.

5. Band Days & Wife’s Reaction to Clown Life (20:21–22:18)

• Gilly describes meeting his now-wife at a band gig (frontman/guitar). Discussion turns to how/if she liked the clown angle:
  • “I said, ‘I’m also a clown.’ And I saw her eyes go [brink]. Most people don’t like that, but it’s good.” (Guilford, 20:54)
• Admits his house is full of clown art (now relegated to the back house).
• Has performed as a wedding groomsman—in full clown attire—once.

6. Los Angeles Clown Company & Clown Taxonomy (22:18–24:52)

• Gilly is the sole employee and “chief executive clown” at his company.
• Explains clown types: Whiteface (the “boss clown;” his), Auguste/Aoose (the “#2,” more chaotic), Character, and Hobo/Tramp.
• Compares clown types to "Seinfeld" cast members for relatability.
• Offers a short, comic history of domain name rivalry in the LA clown scene.

7. On Clown Names & Wanting a Nickname (25:30–26:07, 56:02–57:30)

• Gilly always wanted a nickname; “Gilly” stuck professionally (better than “Turtle,” which failed to catch on in Boy Scouts).
• Later in the episode, the hosts riff on possible clown nicknames for him—“Springy,” “Guillotine,” “Plunge,” but never settle.

8. Clown Craft: Gags, Gigs, & Kid Psychology (26:17–33:26)

• Performs a simple clown gag for the hosts (“It’s a tie!”).
• 80% of clown business is kids’ parties; sweet spot age range is 3–7 (28:04).
• Discusses why face painting is less comfortable for male clowns, and the nuances of physical boundaries:
  • “As a man, I want distance with the kids...It looks weird when a guy does it.” (Guilford, 29:29)
• Talks juggling (claims he should be better!), balloon twisting, and trying but failing at unicycling.

9. Clown Fear, Community, and the ‘Dying Art’ (32:07–35:36)

• On "clarophobia": Gilly thinks most clown fear is social—a “way of building community” by sharing a dislike.

• “If I drove here and I’m parking in the bottom of a garage…there’s a clown standing in the corner...Even I’d be like, what the—? Dude, that’s scary.” (Guilford, 33:10)

• Gilly’s documentary “American Clown” was inspired by media panic and decreasing clown visibility, but he notes a small resurgence:

  • “There’s kind of a burgeoning sort of scene…not only here, it’s happening in New York, too.” (Guilford, 35:30)

10. Modern Clown Gigs: From Bachelorette Parties to Animal Pranksters (36:21–48:48)

• Describes offbeat gigs: adult parties, clubs (Jumbo’s Clown Room), possible future bachelor/bachelorette antics, and surreal experiences like being pranked on “Animal Pranksters.”
• Has been asked to scare kids, sat in bedrooms waiting as a “scary clown.”
• Details a strange singing telegram job that ended in an on-camera prank reveal.

“I remember going out to the balloons and I was trying to pump up the balloons and my hands are shaking so bad. These kids were just looking at my hands. I was like, this is horrible.” (Guilford, 42:07)

11. Clown World: Gender, Ethnicity, Community (49:22–50:34)

• In LA, clowning skews male, but social media (esp. TikTok) has seen a boom in “bouncy girl clowns” and other diverse expressions.
• Ethnicity: Not just white men—mentions Filipino and Black clowns, and cultural traditions from Latin America.

12. Clown Ethics, Horror, and “Killer Clowns” (38:52–40:47)

• Clown world has its ethics, enforced at the peer level. Notes that pop culture’s “ambassadors” (Pennywise, the Terrifier) don’t help legit clowns’ images:
  • “We don’t have the best ambassadors for clowning. We have Art the Terrifier and Pennywise…stone cold killers.” (Guilford, 38:59)
• Gilly doesn’t watch horror clown movies—prefers implied threat to gruesome visuals.

13. Life and Aging as a Clown (53:43–54:39)

• Gilly admits he’s aging, still takes falls but limits stunts to adrenaline moments.
• His kids have never seen his diving prowess; his family finds his clown jokes embarrassing.

14. AI, the Future, and Tolerance (55:11–55:26)

• Briefly muses on whether AI could ever replace the personal connection of a party clown.

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Memorable Quotes

• On health advice from former addicts:

  • “Don’t tell me what I need to do to be healthier when you used to do heroin…I just don’t care.” (Carl, 02:07)

• On how churches launch clown careers:

  • “Jesus was a magician to a lot of people. He just didn’t charge.” (Guilford, 09:59)

• On clown business reality:

  • “I’m a white face, but…I have kind of like an Auguste status. White face typically are number one…Auguste is kind of a number two.” (Guilford, 22:43)

• On physical boundaries as a male clown:

  • “As a man, I want distance with the kids. You can’t do certain things. Like a female clown can hold the hand of a kid…it looks weird when a guy does it.” (Guilford, 29:29)

• On fear of clowns:

  • “If I drove here…and there’s a clown standing in the corner...and I am a clown—I’d be like, what the…That’s scary.” (Guilford, 33:10)

• On the “dying art” of clowning:

  • “Just like a little weed would grow through the sidewalk...there’s still life here. I think there’s a resurgence of clowning.” (Guilford, 34:57)

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Notable Moments and Segments

• Clown Gag Demo: Gilly’s quick tie race trick (26:31–27:05)
• Balloon Animal Live: Gilly makes a balloon dog on air (30:14–30:28)
• Daniel’s Son Wants To Be A Clown: “My son, what’s his answer? Clown.” (Carl, 28:35)
• Party Hangover Horror: “I’ve been really hungover before…I was trying to pump up the balloons and my hands are shaking…” (Guilford, 42:07)
• 'Animal Pranksters' Storytime: (47:12–48:48)
• Gift Parade: Tosh gifts Gilly a Ghostbusters pack, kids’ musical instruments, and a clown hat (51:00–53:21)
• Clown Nickname Brainstorm: “Springy,” “Guillotine,” “Plunge” (56:02–57:30)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Clown Types Explained: 22:34–23:54
• Clown Nicknames/Naming: 25:30–26:07, 56:02–57:30
• Gilly’s Favorite Gag: 26:31–27:05
• Clowning for Kids vs. Adults: 27:20–28:36
• Live Balloon Dog Demo: 30:14–30:28
• On Juggling & Unicycles: 30:48–31:36
• Fear of Clowns/Media Hysteria: 32:07–35:36
• Horror Clown Pop Culture: 38:59–40:46
• Gilly’s Dark Partying Days: 41:41–43:08
• Hidden Camera Prank: 47:12–48:48

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Summary Table – Gilly the Clown’s Skills

| Skill | Proficiency | Notable Comments | |---------------------|------------------------|-----------------------------------------------| | Balloons | High | Can do balloon animals live; “beautiful dog.” | | Face painting | Least developed | Less comfortable as male with kids | | Juggling | Moderate (4 objects) | “I should be better!” | | Unicycle | Tried, not skilled | Faked it for a gig once | | Comedy (verbal, slapstick) | High | Leverages physicality from diving background |

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Tone & Style

The conversation style is witty, breezy, and self-aware, with Daniel Tosh’s trademark irreverence always lurking. Gilly brings earnest, slightly nerdy clown-insider knowledge but happily rolls with the teasing and exposes the odd, sometimes noble, sometimes seedy world of 21st-century clowning. The episode is full of asides, personal confessions, absurdist riffing, but also honest talk on arts, boundaries, and survival for working clowns.

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Takeaways for the Uninitiated

• Clowning is a physical craft and subculture with rules, hierarchies, challenges, and surprising ties to theater, community service, and even competitive sports.
• Pop culture gives clowns a bad rap, but within the art, there’s pride, camaraderie, and real heart—despite or because of Gilly’s stories of hangovers, odd gigs, and LA grift.
• The future of clowning may be uncertain, but as Gilly notes, “there’s still life here”—from kids’ parties to LA fringe theater and TikTok resurgence.

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[This summary excludes all advertisements, non-content banter, and promotional content to focus squarely on the episode’s substantive and comedic core.]

Transcript

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Carl (Podcast Host)]

When a kid wants a balloon animal, it's too complicated. How do you trick them into asking for a giraffe or a dog instead?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Well, sometimes I say, I'm all out. They say, can I have this? I'm sorry, man. I'm all out of those.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Posh show. Posh show Toss show for show. Hey, guys, it's toss show time at the wheel. Daniel Tosh at the other wheel. Not really his. Not a wheel.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Feeding coal into the. The machine. The fire engine. Keep it going.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You talking about steam?

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

We're steam engine. And we're paddling.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

We're coal. Oh, that's right. Cole's having a big comeback.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Cole's huge. Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Hold. That's not how I wanted to start, but I don't care. You know, Nobody cares what celebrities think. We all know that's not true. Of course you care what celebrities think. That's why they. There's advertising. That's why they spend millions of dollars, you know, using celebrities to hawk products because it does work. Because it's why Trump is president, because he was a celebrity. And dumb people are like, yay, I like that guy. Whatever. That's not the argument I want to have, all right? Nothing annoys me more than hearing about health, physical health or spirituality, anything to do with religion when it's coming from a former addict. I just can't. I tune out. It's the worst messenger. Don't tell me what I need to do to be healthier. When you used to do heroin, like, I just don't care. Oh, you found God.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Great.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I've known about God my whole life, okay? I didn't. I didn't spiral to the depths of. Of hell with my heroin problem. First, though, those people. That's my. That's my least favorite. And. And if you really care about your message, you should know that some people, when they hear you talk, go, oh, shut the up.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

And I get it.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You. You. You fixed yourself. Congratulations. That's great. Let's tone down the aggressive. This is what we need to do.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Do they think people that are on heroin are listening to them? Because that's who the methods would be for, right?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

No, it's just anybody that doesn't believe in God or anybody that doesn't believe in how they should eat or fuel their body, they should do this. It's rfk. You were a junkie. If you've ever done crazy amounts of drugs, and now you're telling me how to live, I'm not going to listen to you. I don't want your advice. I don't care about your perspective. I'm happy that you're no longer doing the things that would ultimately kill you.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Right?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

But I don't need you to tell me what's going to happen to my soul after I leave this earth. I mean, it sounds like I'm shitting on people that have turned their lives around. I just don't want them to try to preach to me.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Right?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

And I'm. I'm telling you this because it's a waste of time, because you're making me want to eat more sugar.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I'm going to do it because you're

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

making me want to get more processed food. You're making me want to go to Taco Bell by telling me that this is what I need to do every morning when I wake up. I need to squeeze a lemon into my warm water and gargle it for 45 seconds. Shut up. I'm going to wake up. I'm going to have Cinnamon toast Crunch with my kid, okay? After my wife leaves the room and go about my day like someone that wasn't, you know, on the brink of driving my car off Mulholland because I was on an eight ball. I don't even. You say you're on an eight ball or you're duping.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I mean, they're two different drugs, but, yeah, sure, you can.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, whatever. Just all of it. Just leave me alone. I'd rather listen to the. What's McCall? The guys knocking on my door. Little boys in the suits with the bikes? Yeah. The Church of Jesus, Latter Day Saints. Church of Jesus Christ. And is it Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints. How do you say it?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Church of Jesus Christ.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Of two of.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, wow.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Well, there's their problem. It's confusing.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

It's not. It's not good. You know what? Don't knock on my door either. Everybody trying to make your lives. I can make your life better. You listen to me. I'm barely a celebrity anymore. At the height of my fame, I was barely a celebrity. So you can listen to me. I'm going to give you advice. Have fun. Don't work too hard. Don't try to have all the answers to everything. Get a couple good friends. Hang out with them a lot.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

There you go.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

That's it.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

There you go.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Welcome.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

There's my advice.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

What about heroin?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Don't do heroin, okay? Don't do heroin. Don't go to church if there's good games on, Right? But if you want to go to church because it's like a community thing and there's, you know, you like the upbeat nature of it all, great. But you don't have to. Don't shove it down other people's throats if they don't agree with you. I'm not mad at people that are recovering addicts. I just don't want them to be the messenger for the good book or for my physical health. Seems fair, that's all. My daughter just had her birthday party, which was a huge hit. We have a couple rules in our family about birthdays. You celebrate them on your birthday. You don't get, oh, we're going to do it this Saturday. No, you're not. Not our fault your birthday fell on a Monday this year. Deal with it. Monday's the party, okay? That's rule one. We celebrate your birthday on your birthday. Second rule we have about birthdays is I don't get to plan them. My wife's like, no, no, I'll take care of this. And she does. And she plans this elaborate themed birthday party for my daughter. And when I say elaborate, you know, she rents out a play place that does birthday parties hourly. They churn them out. It's no big cost, but. And she's like, my daughter wants a princess theme. Well, you know, my wife is on this three months before the birthday now we're a week out from my daughter's birthday. Guess what? She hates princesses. I'm like, you planned it too soon. She loves mermaids. She only loves mermaids. And my daughter doesn't know what goes into planet A bird. So now we're putting tails on princesses. I just got, you know, all the decorations. I'm taking the icing on the cake. I'm smearing a tail on it. What I should have done is gone with a clown. Because young or old, everyone loves a clown. Enjoy paw show. My guest today is one of the greatest working clowns in Los Angeles. He can do mad magic. Balloon animals, juggle. But most impressive skill might be his ability to put on his makeup in under 30 minutes in his car. Please welcome Eddie's dream guest, Gilliford, AKA Gilly the Clown.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Hey, thanks. Thanks for having me here.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

My pleasure.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

This is great.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I mean, I'm gonna be so happy today. Oh, Eddie loves a clown.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Eddie's rocking the dimples, man. He got a dimple, dig?

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

My grandma used to say that.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What does she say now?

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Yeah, Nothing.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Now he's silent. Huh? She's.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Yeah, really silent.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Are you estranged?

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

She's very silent.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Do you believe in ghosts?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

It's a huge no from Gilly with profanity. All right, enough clowning around here. What are your thoughts on the warning? Iran?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I. God, I don't know. Too many to count.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay. Where are you originally from?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Texas. Originally. I was born in Louisiana, though. Orleans, and then I moved to Houston when I was a kid. Then I went to College in Austin, Tennessee, and then Austin, and then I moved out to LA in 2000 or so.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

How did you get into clowning, by the way?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Is that the proper term, get into clowning?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Clowning.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Do you say?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You can say clowning, get into being

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

a clown, or how'd you become a clown? People say that.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Nobody says clowning.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Clowning. I. I mean, I don't know.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I'm not gonna say it.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You can say whatever you want.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay, well, how'd you. How'd you become a clown?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You know, I did it a little bit in. In my. When I was in junior high, and I kind of got into it. I was a part of the Methodist Church, and so they taught us some magic skills and that sort of stuff.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

At the Methodist Church, they teach magic.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Jesus was a magician to a lot of people. To a lot of people. He just didn't charge. That was kind of his whole thing. But, you know, they teach a lot of. The Methodist Church would Teach about caring clowns and that sort of stuff. So it'd be people that would go outreach but spread the gospel. They still do that. There's a lot of caring clowns out there. So that's why there was probably got it. But I did that. And then I, you know, and I remember make my own clown shoes. I had old Nike Air Jordans and taping them up with duct tape and big foam fronts. I remember doing all that. And I did a couple shows. I did one show for a nursing home for a bunch of old people that are probably with her grandma now. And then after that, you know, I got into high school and sports and all that stuff. Girls and kind of forgot about it. But then when I became an actor, I transitioned from being a springboard diver in college and high school into acting.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Well, let's talk about the springboard diving for just a moment. Did you get a scholarship for this?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I was junior. I did Junior Olympics, but I was a walk on because I wanted to do Division 1.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

We went to Tennessee. University of Tennessee in Knoxville.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Great experience. Had fun.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I loved it, man. I loved it. Knoxville was great.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What was your dive of choice, voice? What was like. This was my best knife.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I was better the higher I went up. So 10 meter was kind of my thing. That was my jam.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

10 meter. But that's not a springboard. That's platform.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

That's platform.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

That's the tallest. Well, now it's taller because they do Red Bull cliff diving and stuff. Platform is what you would compete in. And then the higher I went, I just felt like I could. Had something called rip entries. I could rip pretty well. You just tighten up and you just rip the water and it's like.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

And it sucks away. It's almost like a vacuum. He's just like, beautiful.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You're like, whoa, that's awesome. Like, when you throw a rock and you throw a rock and it goes nowhere. Like, dude, no splash, man.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I never do that with rocks. I'm a skipper. I like to skip rocks.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I'm a skipper. Okay. Yeah. Anyway, you can do that. People call you the skipper.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

No, no one does a skipper. No one calls me the skipper. Did you ever do you start on your hands? Do you do that one from the 10 meter?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You did all the dip.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I did, like, inward three and a half. That's kind of my big dive. Good back three and a half. I kind of chickened out. It was like, that's a lot of somersaults. And then I was sc did you ever just straight? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. Oh, it's horrible.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

How do you recover? How do you get back up there?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Well, you got right away. You just do it right away just to get it out of your way, you know? I mean, imagine the same as a comic, right? You bomb. You're like, I got to go back on stage right away because that sucks.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

But you, you belly flop or hit your back from 10 meters, usually.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Your balls.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, your balls. Oh, yeah.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

And you swim around a little bit like, oh, I'm going to die. I'm going to die. And then, you know, you come back up, you're like, okay, let's do that again.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What about synchronized. You ever do synchronized diving?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

That wasn't a thing. I'm old, you know. That wasn't a thing. They would do like clown diving a little bit. That's another place.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What's clown diving?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You know, it's like where guys would do kind of. They land on their butt on the end of the board and do a flip and a half.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Kind of like in Back to School. Rodney Dangerfield doing the triple Indy. That was kind of. Yeah, kind of like clown diving, like doing all these reverses and they flip on the board. So a lot of guys could flip on the board and do a backflip and land back.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Could you do that?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Never did that.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You never. Did you try it?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No. That seems scary.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I always got scared of like after like two or three big bounces, like I. I needed to go.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

The double bounce?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, the double bounce and stuff gets really scary. Did you like. I. I'm sorry to focus so much on diving for a second, but did you. It's funny cuz you're in a clown.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Did.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Did you always have to roll that big wheel to get it back for the perfect spring?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, I was a five. I'm like a five or a six. Some guys are like, these numbers mean well. It's like one is like no bounce. And then two, three, four, then nine is like loosey goosey, you know, those guys are like, like there was one meet I drove. I dove behind Greg Luganis. It was at SMU in Texas. And then you just saw him. This is like after the Olympics. And just the way he would hurdle from that board and just. I mean, it was like he was like a God, you know, and just could ride the board. He would go to nine.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You dove after him after his famous one where he hit the back of his head.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Well, not after that.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You were the next diver. I wasn't that is amazing.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

What a story.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, it was a great story. John.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

John, you got it. You got it. John. Good. He followed Greg Louganis after the infamous head. Wasn't it him? Yeah.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

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[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

To Texas.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah. So I discovered that diving people weren't. The swimmers were very jocular and kind of like, you know, like, like they would, like, you know, bang chicks. And, and no disrespect, I just, I wasn't that way. I wasn't built that way.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You weren't built that way to bang chicks?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Well, no, I mean, I guess I was, but I was, I was more prudish at 19 or 20.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You know, like, I just was. I wasn't just trying to hook up at bars. And like, they do things like they would drink and then they would go like we'd walk back to our dorms and they jump on people's cars, on the hoods. And so people would come out drinking their coffee. I imagine like, dude, some dude just jumped on my hood in my car last night and left a big dent. I thought like, that's crazy. So that I was like this and this is not my tribe. And so I did a play called Royal Hunt of the sun as a Peter Schoffer played at Equus and stuff. And it was with this Argentinian acting group called Diablo Mundo. You know, they barely spoke English, but They would, after I got cast in the play, doing a monologue from a monologue book and I would go to this, this bar or whatever afterwards and they would take it over. And I thought, this is more my tribe of people. These people, you know. And so I kind of made the transition from. I quit diving and I went into acting.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay, now from traditional acting.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

To full circle childhood clown experience.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

It came back because I didn't have any acting. Like, I didn't do plays in high school. I didn't do any of that stuff. But I was physical. I could move, I could do flips, I could do somersaults. Like, everybody else was like, you know, they'd done musicals, so they had like pencil stick arms and stuff. Like. So I got into Shakespeare and I got into doing all the servants. And when I got into college and really studied, I got a BFA in acting or drama production, whatever they call it, you know, I started like, oh, well, I'm good at this stuff. I can like tumble. People can grab me and throw me and I can do a flip on stage and back flips and stuff. And so the clowning just came natural. I was like, who else does this? And it was Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton and, you know, it was like, oh, well, these guys are awesome. And then, you know, back in the day, like Jack Tripper on Three's Company as a kid, I watched that all the time and to me that was like my gateway of like, well, he works as an actor and well, maybe I can just be like that big physical comedy type things.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Is this before the move to LA or.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No, no, it was right when that move happened. 2000.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You met your wife after one of your band's shows?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What was your role in the band?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I played guitar, kind of frontman. But there's other front men.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

It's gigantic.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

How long were you in this band?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Five years, seven years? I don't even know.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Was that started in Texas?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No, that was out here.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

And it became kind of a bands that broke up. We all just started like playing a happy hour and then that kept kind of going for like 10 years almost.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

When did she find out you were also a clown? Or is she finding out right now?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You think she'll watch this?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Probably not.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You know, that night actually, she was kind of staring at me a little long and she's kind of looking at me and I was looking at her and I was like, oh, I think she's looking at me. And so I went, talked to her and she's like, well, what do you do? And so I led with my best. I was like, well, I'm an actor. And she was like. I was like, oh. And she. I think she even said, you're not a musician only, are you? And I was like, no, no. And then I said, I'm an actor. And she's like. I was like, I'm also a clown. And I saw her eyes go brink. I was like, oh, that's good. That's. She likes that. Most people don't like that, but it's good. Especially most girls. And, you know, like, before, when I was single, if I brought a girl home and she saw I have clown art everywhere, and if she saw that and she's like, ooh, it'd be like, right away, like, this is clown art.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Just.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Just clown. I have clowns. I have pictures of clowns, velvet paintings, clowns. It's just full of clowns still to this day.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Or no. Yeah, you haven't dialed it.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I have a whole clown house. Well, it's all. It's all in the back house now.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Thank you.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

It's on the back house.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

She's relegated it to a back house. Fine. Yeah, that's acceptable. You didn't do anything clownish at your wedding, did you know?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No, it's just legit tradition. I have been a clown at a wedding before, though. For my buddy Matt Morgan, I was the only clown. Is one of the groomsmen.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

That's. Visually, it's beautiful. Yeah, I can see that being pretty. Especially if it was. If it was like a really traditional wedding.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

It was. And then, like, one clown.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I like it. I like it. I'm not mad at it. You are the chief executive clown at Los Angeles Clown Company. First off, congratulations. Oh, things. And how many clowns do you employ?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Just me.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Perfect. Yep.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

But I got. I got the room to. I got the room to grow.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

There's four types of clowns. White face, a character, and hobo tramp.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, that's correct.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What kind are you?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I'm a white face, but I have kind of like an aoose status. So white face typically are like the number one. And then a goose would be kind of like, you know, sort of like number two, for lack of a better, you know. And then. Okay, Seinfeld, right? Seinfeld was the number one. You know, he's a little bit weird and he's particular, and he's like, you know, Jerry, but he still break up with the girl because of whatever insane reason George Constanza is like, A two. Like George and. And really Julia Dreyfus. They're kind of two. So they're kind of like. They're batty. They're crazy. But then they can. You can actually talk. And there is some sense. Kramer's just flat on three. Like, he just. He's all over the place. And so that's kind of like. That's how I would kind of characterize a lot of those clowns. Maybe the tramp is like a three. You know, the tramp could kind of move around a little bit. And that was made popular by Weary Willy Emmett Kelly back in the day around the Depression with Ringling Brothers. And the specialty clown can also move around in status. But the Augusta is usually two. And then the. The white face typically is sometimes the boss clown.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

The number one Los Angeles clown company.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What is this?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

So I was a clowns for hire back in the early 2000s. Because you had to be in the phone book, right? Because you had to. And you had to be like a. And I, you know, I know a clown. Yeah, yeah. So the guy, he had a database called Clowns for Hire. And I wanted to get on it, but I was Clowns for Hire. And he was like, well, you can't be Clowns for Hire. That's my database. I was like, well, what should I be? He's like, well, you're in Los Angeles, right? And I was like, yeah. He's like, why don't you be Los Angeles Clown? And I was like, oh, great idea. And I looked at the domain name. This is pre the gold rush of domain names. And it wasn't taken. And then some. And he might listen to this. So I don't want to say, but there was another guy that got LA Clown. And I didn't think to get LA Clown. Cause that's LA Clown. And then I was like, well, you know what? Now I have now. And it feels like there's. We're kind of butting up against each other, Right? I'm Los Angeles Clown. He's LA Clown. That's not good. So I was like, I'm going to make the full Los Angeles clown company. So I just started using that name, you know, and it looks like a bigger enterprise.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

How's his company doing?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Not very good. Not very good.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Eddie. He early domain name. Started squatting on everything.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, really?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Just thought it was hysterical. He's got everything. He's got everything.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Big pull, tight hole.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

That's a good big pull, tight hole. Yeah.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

He has that hotdogdiet.com pirate flu.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No one's taking that one.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Pirate flu.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Hobo mouth. Hobo mouth?

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Yeah, it's a disease you get from sharing harmonicas.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

So he does all day.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

It was fun. It was expensive.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

How often do you have to renew all these?

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

No, I just had to stop. It was ridiculous.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, it's stupid. It's expensive, right? Then they keep up charging you, so stop.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

All right, here we go. How does a clown pick their name?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You know, I always answer the phone as Gil or Gilly, so it just became easy with Gilly. And I'll be completely honest. I've always wanted a nickname. No one ever gave me a nickname. I remember I was being in the Boy Scouts, and there was one point where, like, they were talking about these silver turtles, which is like a little baked potato, and you put vegetables and stuff in it. And they were saying how I made a great one as a patrol eater. And then someone saw other kids like, hey, we should call him Turtle. And I was like, that's a. I love that nickname sort of thing, you know? Turtle, Turtle. And then they were like, no, you're not gonna. We're not gonna call you Turtle.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Never stuck.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

So I always kind of wanted a nickname.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

That's.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

That's.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

That's a shame, Turtle. I always wanted the knowledge of Boy Scouts without actually ever going to the Boy Scouts. I really wish I would have learned some knots.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You're not good at them. What?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You know, knots are great, man. It's. It's tough. I'm an Eagle Scout. I went all the way. Yeah, I did.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I'm not mad at that either. What's your favorite gag to do?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I'll. I'll do it. I'll do it. Here you go.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Oh, no.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

We're gonna have a race. Eddie, I need you to join in, because. Here we go. I'm gonna put this up here, and after I roll this end up, I'm gonna roll up this other end just like this. Now, by show of hands, who thinks the big end is gonna win the race? Yeah, I'm so.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Yeah, me.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

A big one. Who thinks the small is gonna win? Me. Who doesn't care one way or the other. Completely apathetic. Oh, maybe the sound guys. Okay, here we go. So I'm gonna count down from three. Down to two, down to one. You said big end, you said small. Let's see, we go. I'm gonna count down. Count with me. We'll go three, two, one. Ready?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Three, two, one.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

It's a tie.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

It's a tie, you guys.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

It's a tie.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

We knew it was a tie. Cause it's around his neck. What percentage of your clown business is children versus other acting and then adult

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

between my clown business. What percentage is children and adult? I would say 80, 20.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You know, and then as far as being an actor, I mean, it's just

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

not all acting, just clown acting. Like straight clown acting.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, maybe. So if I did 80, 20, maybe clown acting would be 10% of that, you know, so maybe 70, 20, 10.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Where's the age range for kids? What's the sweet spot for clown work

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

with kids 3 to 7? But it depends, right? I can do 2 year old and I can do a 9 year old, but it depends like how, you know, sheltered the kids are. You know, like sometimes a 9 year old doesn't get out a lot or he's comes from a lower income family, whatever, you know, like he's not on screens a bunch. He could be awesome and love a clown.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You know, but if I'm doing Calabasas, that kid could be an asshole.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You know, he wants, he wants my kid and my son.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

My son, 7.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

In his yearbook.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

There's. They ask all the kids on this one page, it asks the kids what they want to be when they get older. And you know, you get all these dicks here.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

A producer. What 7 year old says they want to be a producer? You know, a congresswoman. Okay. I like it. I'm not mad at this. My son, what's his answer? Clown.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Really?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yep.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I love it.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yeah.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

That's awesome.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

My son's like, clown. Only one that has the most ridiculous answer. My son wants to be a clown. He's like, today I said, I'm interviewing a clown today. He's like, dad, does he know how to juggle? I said, yes, he knows how to juggle. I go, will you film him juggling? And I said, well, I can show you a video of him juggling. And then he goes, no, no, I. I want it from, from your phone so that I know that it's like he really did.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

It's not AI'd. This is what the generation next generation's gotta think about.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

He's worried about. He doesn't want, you know, phony juggling videos.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

All right. You juggle?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Balloon animals.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, I do balloon face paint. Yeah, sure.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What's your least favorite of those?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

My least developed skill would be face painting because it's, you know, I'm a guy and then I'm drawn on a kid's face. And, and I used to be.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I mean, I like the way you said that. I'm a guy and I'm painting on kids faces.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

It just feels like you kind of want distance, you know? As a man, I want distance with the kids.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I get you. I respect this perfect clown.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I don't. You can't do certain things. Like a female clown can hold the hand of a kid and kind of like, la la la la la. It looks weird when a guy does it. If I'm underneath the parachute with a kid, they're like, like, it just, it looks weird.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I mean, I respect him.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You can't do it.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I respect him so much. This is what you want to hear from a clown. You don't want clowns under parachutes with your children. When a kid wants a balloon animal, it's too complicated. How do you trick them into asking for a giraffe or a dog instead?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Well, sometimes I say, I'm all out. They say, can I have this? I'm sorry, man, I'm all out of those. Let me do a balloon.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What's a good animal to say?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I'll do a little doggy here.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

And how did you learn this?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I, you know, I, I remembered doing balloons when I was younger and I just kind of picked it up a little bit more. So here's a little dog right there.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

It's a beautiful dog.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

A little cute dog, you know. But I try to learn things all the time. A lot of times you'll do events. So a lot of the events I do will be like balloons for three hours or like, oh, we want a strolling juggler for three hours. And I, and I typically do them if it's enough money because it just, it's a chance to practice, you know, like, I'm just gonna practice and I get paid to practice.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

How long have you known how to juggle?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Long enough that I should be way better than I am.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What's the most you can juggle?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I can do four a little bit. Four balls. But it goes to crap pretty quickly, you know. But I do pens and I can do fire and then I can do rings and stuff.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Can you interject some object that's extremely heavy, like a bowling ball, into it a little bit.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I can do three random objects. Over the years as a performer, I've like, I did like an anti smoking campaign where I juggled water. And you know, people ask you to juggle weird stuff. So.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Can you ride a unicycle?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I can't. Not very well.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Tried.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yes. And I've even gotten hired before and I said I could ride a unicycle and then I couldn't and they were all disappointed.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

There's self balancing unicycles now. Are there like the one wheel thing? Technology. I had a self bouncing unicycle.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh yeah. Okay. Okay. I could see that. Like the little. Yeah, the little one wheel.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

It takes a little bit of skill on the.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Do you have a one wheel? No. Okay.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

But I do have an E bike that's okay, hold on. That's made by the onewheel people. So you can press a button and it'll self balance into wheelie mode and you can just ride a wheelie around.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

That's cheating.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

That's cheating.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

That's not good.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I know it's not good. It's dumb. Whatever. What do you say to people that are terrified of clowns?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Stop it. You know, I think there is a. They call it clarophobia I believe is the term. But I'm from Texas, so I can barely talk.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I'm from Florida. I'm worse.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I think there are people that are terrified, but I think the vast majority of people, it's a way of building community. So. So I think when people say they dislike clowns, I think it's just a way of like feeling like engendered by other people. You know, when the reality is it's like. I mean, clowns can be scary. If I drove here and I'm parking the bottom of a garage, I'm getting out of my car. I'm like the fourth level and there's a clown standing in the corner with the bl. And I am a clown. I'd be like, what the. Dude, that's scary. You know, you need to be like lit or something or like in an open area. Like that's like terrifying. So I think, you know, and that's what people are picturing. When I came here and Eddie took super long to get me, I was outside just kind of standing out there, kind of wait. It's like just, you know, as my dad's in my dick, in my hand, just kind of waiting around. I wasn't literally like that, but just kind of standing there and people are like, oh fucking. You know, they're kind of looking at me. It's a weird spot, but I'm out in the open. People can escape. If I walk to apartment building and like I. The elevator opens, they're like, geez, dude. It's like. I know.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, I know.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You're not expecting that, are you? You know, so I Have some sympathy for that. It's not. It's not good.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Your documentary made it seem like clown is a bit of a dying art. What do you think the future of the clown world is?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

So, yeah, I started this doc, American clown, about 10 years ago, and it was because I was working as an assistant to Ronald, and that job was ending the Field Ronald program. They. They basically fired us. And they've. And it happened right at the. In Southern California. If you lived here, there was like a clown scare, and then clowns were coming from overseas and they were gonna, like, do a whole bunch of horrible stuff. It was a story that the news was pushing, and they would call me as a company, like, hey, will you come and talk to us about how there's this crazy clown scare? It's like, dude, what. You are fueling this. And why am I going to go there and have a dis. And. And for free, by the way, in face and be like, you're taking our jobs? It kind of pissed me off. So that was why I did the doc. And I know that's kind of a long answer to what you're saying. I. But I feel like 10 years later, as all this dust kind of settles, that there's like, you know, just like a little weed would grow through the sidewalk or something. There's still life here. And I think there's kind of a resurgence of clowning with a lot of people because they haven't seen it, and they're like, where. Where'd all the clowns go? You know, in fact, when I did American Clown, I would tell people like, you don't see clowns anymore. Other than the horror movies. You don't see them at the circus. Ringling doesn't have them anymore. You don't see them at McDonald's. You just don't see them at all. And I think there's a place. There's kind of like a. There's an emptiness there for a lot of people. Like, yeah, that was. That was kind of fun, you know, like, what. And also in the LA sort of comedy scenes, because it's not Groundlings or Upright Citizens Brigade, a lot of these people do clowning. It's kind of. This is another possible venue, like Natalie Palamides and Chad Damiani and all these guys are doing it at the Elysian Theater. And so I think there's kind of like a burgeoning sort of like, scene kind of happening. It's not only here, it's happening in New York, too. So I think in a lot of Ways that maybe it's kind of coming back.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

How would a live show or venue that just features clowns work?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

So it's not typical whiteface, it's buffoonery, it's failing in public. It's like being vulnerable. It usually involves nudity and like, you know, so there's like a lot of like, it's almost like theater of the absurd, you know, that it kind of. And I. And there's a. I think there's a market for it. You know, I go to and I do like the occasional 30 year old birthday at a bar or whatever. I'm met with nothing but goodwill and love from those people. You know, they're just like, oh, I love clowns. I don't, you know, it's crazy when like, you know, my generation or the 40 something, they're always like, oh, I'm scared of clowns or I don't like them when I think that's because of poltergeist and because of it and because of these things that they just haven't kind of moved past.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Have you ever done a bachelorette party?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I have actually. Well, did I? Or was it bachelor party?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I think I'd like to make this happen too.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Bachelorette party?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yes. We gotta get like a good bachelorette party or it's just absurd.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I did go to Jumbo's Clown Room recently. Last year. One of the little side hustles. I have a woman that I work with, her daughter works at Jumbo's Clown Room. And I've been there before, but never as a clown. And so. And she gave me a bunch of money because Scarlett, the woman that, that, the young lady that works there, she was putting out like a, A great cookbook. Like Wine, Wine me, dine me 69 me I think is the name of the book.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Beautiful, Beautiful.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

And it's a great name.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

And it's like squatting on that title.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah. And. And then so she gave me a bunch of money just to go and make kind of a fool of myself. And it was, it was awesome. In fact, I'm gonna go for like my next decade birthday. I'm gonna get a bunch of my friends and I'm gonna like just spend like $10,000.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Work at a golf tournament.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No. Okay, golf tournament. Where did that come from? I don't know. Why, Why a golf tournament? I don't know, because of the clothes or something.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Just rich people on a golf course and then have a clown just mocking the whole thing.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Great, I would love to do that, but I haven't done that yet.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I think there should. It visually seems pretty.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

They haven't had a clown out there not since dwarf on golf. Have they had anything, you know, you remember dorf on golf?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I don't even remember I watched it recently.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Kidding me?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

This is so hysterical. Have you ever been pulled over by the cops in full?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

In full clown? No, I haven't been. I haven't been pulled in full clown. You think it would be a dream.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I think it'd be okay. I think you'd get out of the ticket.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You think?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Probably one cop's gonna be a dick and write it. I mean, who knows?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I was terrified when I got my clown car wrapped in all these clown stickers. And I was drinking a lot in those days and partying a lot.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What is your clown car?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

It's like an hhr. So it's like a PT Cruiser looking car. But then it's got.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Maybe it was gonna be like a tiny, tiny car.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No. Okay. I mean, they do have those, sure. But I was terrified that get pulled. I would drive it at night and I'd be like, you know, probably not. I shouldn't be driving is before Uber. This is back in the day when.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Back when you were encouraged to just get home.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, you got to get home, dude. There's no car service for you. But I was terrified of getting, like. Like, just somebody taking a video of me, like, getting handcuffed behind my car. So I had to, like, get rid of that, you know, I had to, like, just only do that car during the day.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Is there a code of conduct with clowns?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Who enforces it?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Or is it just like, other clowns?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Other clowns could frown upon it. Right now. We don't have the great ambassadors, not the best ambassadors for clowning. We have Art the Terrifier, and we have Pennywise. Well, those guys are like stone cold killers. Yeah. Right at this point. And if anything, Crusty, perfect example. Crusty used to be kind of on the outer fringes of what was acceptable as a clown. But now Crusty, he's in a good area. People love Crusty.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Move the goalposts.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

We've moved the goalpost because other crimes are so horrible. Like, they murder children. Like, Crusty looks good. You know, he's got some family issues. The dad's a rabbi or whatever. You know, he smokes in costume. Not the best thing. But child murderers, right?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

The Terrifier. I haven't watched one of those movies. Do you watch that stuff?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No, I don't like It.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. That's not my thing.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I know David Dornton. Who? He was in the documentary that I did, American Clown. Nice guy. Really nice guy. I think there's room at the table for everybody. Some people love the horror clowns. Not my thing.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Not my thing.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I'm not a big. I like the it, but I don't like it once it goes to the supernatural.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

That part of it, I lose interest. I liked it when he was just creepy and hanging, but then once I found out that it was.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I don't need to see. Yeah, I don't need to see the monster. I just. I like. I like the. The inference. Right. I like. That's what's scary. Blair Witch Project is good because you never see it. You just see this person standing in the corner.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I've still yet to watch that movie.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, it's good.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I don't want to watch it. I don't want to watch shaky cameras.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You're more of a static camera guy.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I love static cameras. I've always said it.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Lock it off.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Fuck mary. Kill Ronald McDonald. Bozo. Krusty the Clown.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I'm gonna kill Bozo. I'm gonna fuck Ronald, and then I'm gonna marry Krusty. Cause I just. I love Crusty. I love everything about Crusty.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You know? Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Wait, what happened to Ronald in that one?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I fucked him.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay. Comics hang out with other comics. Do clowns hang out with other clowns?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, but not many. Not many.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You have a lot of clown friends?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I have some that are really good friends. I got my buddy Laffy Pants. He's a very good friend of mine, you know, And I. I know a lot of comics, too. And some comics are, like, easy to be around, and some comics are pretty intolerable. Right. Same thing goes for clowns.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Where does Brendan Walsh fall on that spectrum?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

He's actually very easy to be around. He's very easy to be around because he's funny, but he's not like. And then he'll get angry. Like, he's not always working on material, you know? Like, you can, like, have a conversation.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Sure. There's an off button.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, yeah. It's like, I. I want someone to just be like. Like, okay, we're clocking out now. We can just talk, you know? And so some clowns are like that. I used to say that I never trusted a clown that didn't smoke pot, and I kind of still stand by that.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Talk about your dark days with old Laffy Pants.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, Laughing Pants. I had. I've had some dark stuff. I mean, I've. Yeah, I mean it's, it's true. I've done, I've done some things that I'm not particularly proud of.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You used to party hard.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah. Yeah. I've never had sex in clown face. You know, I have snorted a line in clown face before. You know, taken a bong hit. I mean, I had a party, you know, like, hey man, you wanna show?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

But not like a seven year old's birthday party.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No, no, no, no. I've been really hungover before. I remember one party. Ah, God, it's like a nightmare. And I got no sleep at all. I mean, it's just 15 years ago, 20 years ago, before I got married, before I had kids, I had no sleep at all because I was partying all night and I tried to lay down, but it just wasn't going to happen. And I remember like going out to the balloons and I was trying to pump up the balloons and my hands are shaking so bad and these kids were just looking at my hands and I was like, this is horrible. But see, here's something I will say I'm Gen X and like I made. There was one time I didn't make a party, but I made a bunch of parties hungover with no sleep. And so listen, I was there. I might have smelled like booze, but I made that party. And I know that's a silly thing to be proud about, but I am. I'm proud. Like I didn't, I didn't fall through.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay, so you're, you're proud of Almost Perfect Streak?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Almost Perfect Streak, yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You know, we'll be right back. You could be saving money right now by switching to Mint Mobile. It's a no brainer, guys. Let's go. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. Well, not literally, but you know what I mean. Unfortunately, those big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money too. After years of overpaying for wireless, are you fed up with crazy high bills, bogus fees and free perks that actually cost more in the long run? I am. I'm fed up. John back there been waiting a long time for this ad because he loves Mint Mobile service. How's your reception, John? Perfect. Always perfect.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Always.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

He pays the least out of the whole staff, if you can believe it. You know, I don't like that. I got to get in on this. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] tosh that's mint mobile.com tosh upfront payment of $45 for a 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 a month new customer offer for first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fee extra. See Mint Mobile for details.

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[Carl (Podcast Host)]

PA show have you ever been hired for any work? Not sexual per se, but, you know, like, oh, we want you to come over and just sit on pies instead of throw.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I have not. I have not.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

As a clown. Although I. But I. I wouldn't necessarily say no.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay. And just out of curiosity, if anyone

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

is actually listening, this at least my hourly rate plus dry cleaning.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What are some of the stranger gigs you get asked to do?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Well, sometimes I'll get asked to do like really deplorable stuff, and then I usually think it's like a radio station or something, kind of like, you know, trying to punk me or something. Because they're like, I want you to scare my kid.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Or.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

And I'm like, I don't want to do that. I have. I did.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Have you ever scared someone?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I have.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

There was for money. Like, they hired you to scare somebody?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, there was a guy that was a director of a popular show and he was like, hey, I'm out of town. I'm in Canada shooting. That's where they shoot everything now, apparently. And so I'm out of, you know. But my son is his birthday and I want you to scare him when he gets home from school. I was like, eh, he loves clowns. He loves them. He loves Pennywise. I was like, okay. I mean, I just want them to be in on the joke, right?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Everyone loves Pennywise. Until he comes for you.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, until he's there. And so I did it. I went in, and the mom was really nice, and then the little sister was all excited.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

How old is the scare victim?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

12. Okay, 10 or 12. Seems like, you know, somebody sat in his room for longer than I thought I would. It was kind of a little weird because you're just like, I'm in this little kid's room, you know, with these balloons, just holding them, kind of looking at him. And. And he eventually kind of came in, and he was.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Oh, God.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

And then he kind of came back after, you know, and he was like,

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

oh, did you scream or do anything? You stayed still in the corner?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, I just stayed still. And we walked in. I was like, hello. And then he was like, ah. I was once hired to do a singing telegram as a clown. And when I walked into the house, the guy looked like he was developmentally delayed, the dude. And when I got into the room, he was like, okay, now in a second, I'm gonna have you jump around and start singing this song. And it was like an old McDonald. But he had rewritten the lyrics to it, and it was about like, I like you when you touch me. Like, it was. It was. It was a little salacious. I didn't think anything of it at the time. But then, as I'm doing, I'm like, what's so. And I'm seeing the environment. I was like, I don't know. This is not. This feels weird. I'm like, you know What? I'm getting 200 bucks. I'm just gonna do this. And so when I jumped out, there was a pug. It was like a little pug that was in, like, a high chair, you know? And then there was a bunch of pugs all over. Like, all over, you know? And I was like, hey. And then. And I started kind of singing, but I was like, this pug was going on. This pug was not having it. And the pug was like, all. You know, and he was like, I think you just need to pet him, maybe get closer to him. And so I got close, and the pug was like, I just don't think he. And I did it. He's like, do a magic trick for it. And I was like, oh, my God, dude. And so I. I did it. And then he's like, oh, oh. And he said, oh, I just got one more thing. And I was like, what? He's like, have you ever been on tv? He's like, what are you talking? He's like, you're on Animal Pranksters. And I was like, oh, dude. And then. And all these doors opened and all these grips came out. Like, hey, man, good job. Pretty good.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You know, I love that until the end.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I know.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I wanted it to be just. I know.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Well, me too.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Fucked up world.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

But I was like, I just need to call somebody. Cause this guy. This is not safe for all these dogs. It was bad. They were peeing and pooping in the ground. It was disgusting.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Nothing bothers me.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I hate.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You say some people don't like clowns. I. I hate hidden camera prank shows more than anything.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I was not a fan either. I'm still not.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You shouldn't have signed the waiver.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Well, I did.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What's the guy gal ratio? In the clown world in LA and

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

the people that I know, I would say it definitely favors men. But on TikTok and stuff, there's a crazy burgeoning community of, like, clowns that I. I would say primarily most of them are female.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I think there's a lot of interesting things happening, whether they're practicing clowns or whether they're fetish clowns or whether they're like. There's like these different things. There's like, bouncy girl clown, and she's kind of like, you know, voluptuous, but she's into clowning and Grimaldi and all these old sort of things, and she's created this. I'm sure a lot of guys are sliding into her DMs, like, I love you, you know, but she's. She's passionate about clowning.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What about the ethnicity? Is it primarily white?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No, there's. It's actually very much. I have a friend Tina, who is Filipino. I have a friend Carlos Ragas, who's African American. But, you know, there are a lot of white dudes. Yeah, Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I didn't know if it was like a. Primarily a white male thing.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No, no, not at all. And I think there's. And that's just a mayor. I mean, you have clowns in the Mexican culture and clowns in South America, and they're all over the place.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Ten black clowns do white face.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

They did as Ronald. There was some black clowns that did Ronald and whiteface.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I think that's fine. Everybody that's on the show gets a gift. Oh, you just get stuff from my house. It's just used stuff that I don't. Now. You have twins. Do you have twin boys? Do you. Do you always have to buy them, too?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

They'll do different things. They want different things. Right. Like, one loves Darth Vader. One loves Boba Fett. They pick Elaine.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Do they like to dress up?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay. Any of them like the Ghostbusters?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay, good.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Got this. Oh, my God.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay, It's a real pack. Here.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

This will. You're giving this to me?

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

This is stupid. This will actually get used more than I. Than I. That my wife's gonna want.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

That's fine. It's not in my house anymore, so that's. This is. There's.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, my God.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You know, we get the whole uniform there.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

All right, all right, great.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay, take that off. Now, do you please get this off my desk? Get it off my desk. I know what you're doing. You do music classes with kids. Yeah, I used to have music class hosted at my house for kids.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, Like a little mama. Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. And that's done. But all these parents just leave their instruments.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

So I wanted to give you all the instruments so you'd have them for other future gigs with kids so that they would have them. Okay. You're gonna love it.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Fill up that PT Cruiser.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Oh, we're gonna fill it up. Oh, like, all. All the instruments.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, dude. Yeah. This is a good gift for me. I like this. Good.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

There's gonna be. It's gonna be stuff.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, my God.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I love it.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

This is great.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Whatever the kids need. We got this thing. You put it around their neck. I think. I think they hit the sides of it or something. I don't know. We got the parachute. Don't get under it with the kids if you're in the clown outfit.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No, we can't do that.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

But look, I got all of it. I got every instrument in the world in here.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, my God. Oh, I love it.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

This is a good one. I can't stop giving you this stuff.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

It just goes on forever and ever.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Oh, it's gonna. We're not even close to done. What are all these? You can juggle these.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, my God.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You can do. I don't know what you do with.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

These are great. These are silks. Yeah, we can.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, you can use these silks.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

These are great.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Look at these.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh, that's adorable.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

This one's nice.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, look at that. Oh, triangle. I actually need a triangle.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Dude, you just got a triangle.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Dude. I. I I, I, that's not the

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

right, that's not the right thing to hit the triangle with.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

No, it's not doing a thing on Sunday. Harmonica in Santa Monica for an orchestra. And I have a bit with the triangle.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Well, now you got a tiny triangle.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

This is great.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

We gotta get all this off my, my desk.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Got you a hat too. Cuz I felt like this. I, this hat doesn't. It seems like it's a hat that a clown would wear.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

So you brought all this stuff and then on the way out you're like one more like.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

That's crazy. It actually fits me. This would fit me.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Do you have a big head?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, I do.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I have a huge head.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I have.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Do you really huge.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

So when you're buying, you do seven and three fours.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

If I have my hair's longer, I go up to eight.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You do not.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yes, I know.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

They even go up to eight.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

They go to eight.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I'm right at the top of the thing. Seven and three fours.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Look. Look at us. Can you still take a fall? Are you getting too old for falling around?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I can in the moment.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Do you just, do you force yourself to keep doing it?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I think the adrenaline gets going and you do, you know, it's like I just do it flip you. You ever, you know, I couldn't do that anymore.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You don't go upside down anymore?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Well, I could do that in the water on a board, but I can't do it on the ground. There's no way.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

When's the last time you jumped off a diving board? Like a real diving board?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Spring, 10 years ago.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Do you see, do you see a diving board and get a little bit of an urge?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I saw one yesterday. A little bit. Uh huh. Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

That's cool. It's cool to know that like, like if I were your kids and like I knew dad could really jump off of it.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

They've never seen me do it. They never seen me do it.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I don't get that at all. My kids have seen anything that I can do. Impressive. They saw it like week one of their life.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

That's great. That's great.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I'm not hiding anything. Do your kids get into the clown or do they like, hey, Gilly, knock it off. I need dad.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Both. They do like the fact I'm a clown. But everyone hates my jokes. My wife, my kids, everyone hates it. And if I do jokes with other, like if I see twins, you know, I'm always like, I like, oh, you guys are you guys, you guys could almost be Brothers. And they're always like, well, we are. We're twins. Like, I know, but you could almost be brothers. And my kids are just like, groaning the whole time, like, dad, stop it with the jokes. Like, I'm legit embarrassing them, you know? And I. But I can't stop. I'm like, just let me play with these kids for a little bit.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

You want one of your kids to become a clown?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I hope not, but I wouldn't care. I. I would want them to do whatever they want to do.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Have you used them, as in a magic trick yet?

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have. I have. And. And honestly, maybe clowning is AI. Maybe. I don't know.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

You're gonna.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

How are you gonna. AI go into a party? You know, I mean, I guess you. You could. Or you could get like, some virtual

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

AI is coming for everybody. And you know what? I can't wait for it to come for what? Mothers.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Oh,

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

that's. Knock them off their high horse.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Yeah, let's, you know, tell me about it. Tell me now. We're preaching. Preach.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Listen, you're. You're doing. You're doing the Lord's work. Thank you for your service.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

My pleasure.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

I really appreciate it.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I want to thank Guilford for bringing Gilly on the show. We gotta give Guilford a proper nickname. What do you think? Old silly Gilly?

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Silly Gilly.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Maybe he is.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

We're not going to give him Turtle. Turtle Reminds me of the 1980s movie North Shore. There was a character Turtle then. Entourage had a character. So turtles off the table. But we. We gotta give Guilford a nickname. Guilford's such a good name.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Guilford.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yeah, Guilford.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Guilford Adams. Sounds like a president.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Well, let's give him a nickname, Bob. No, come on. Something cool.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Springy.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Something cool.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

He's a springboard dude. Springy.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

No, I don't. I don't like that. Dylan. That's stupid.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Guillotine.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

The guillotine.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

The guillotine is. That's the one.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

No, I don't like it. Chop your head off. That's an awful nickname. I mean, I like. I like where Dylan's head was at with the diving board. I just don't know what it is. No. Splash. Splash. Tiny splash. Plunge.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Plunge is good. Hey, Plunge.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Plunge this.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Plunge coming? Yeah, Plunge will be there.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Plunge.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

I think it works.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

And it works. It works well with a clown because when you think of a clown, they

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

drink from a plunger.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Listen, Guilford, we're going to work on your nickname. Maybe somebody in the comments section will come up. The perfect nickname for him.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

That's who's going to get it.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

That would be good. We give him a great nickname and then hopefully throw some work his way too. Yeah, I would like to hire Gilly the Clown for things that I'm supposed to attend. PTA meetings, stuff like that.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Yeah, perfect.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Just a straight stand in, you know. You know, it'd be funny. Hire him to be your house manager. He's just in your house.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Doing nonsense all day.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Like, I'm talking to people, showing up for, like, appointments.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Yeah. He's just gotta meet my plumber when he shows up and just.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Yeah, it's real bad over this way.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

That'd be delightful. I could hang out with him way more than I could hang out with most comics.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Yeah, I could see that for sure.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

What if that became my podcast? My niche podcast? We do. Cause a lot of people that do podcasts, some of them have multiple podcasts. What if I have a second podcast where I only talk to clowns?

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Pretty good.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Boun around.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Oh, man, I like it. Okay, let's do some of our plugs. Patreon.com toss show, maybe on Patreon. That's where I do my interviews with clowns.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Clown town.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

That'd be pretty good. My first farewell tour. The first leg of it. Rave reviews. I don't know if you picked up the local Evansville paper, but. Gushing now. Where are we off to next, though, Ed? We got to do some. All kinds of stuff in the. The Northeast.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Right.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I can't wait to get to Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Bethlehem, Hershey, Wilkes, Barrels. I don't know where else we're going to be. D.C. bunch of D.C. a bunch of shows in upstate New York, right? Connecticut.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Atlantic City.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Atlantic City, yeah. Oh, my goodness. I swore last time I went to Atlantic City that I would never return. Well, you're breaking it. Well, listen, you're only as good as your word. What else we got? Tosshowstore.com. get yourself some merch. Get a cool tee with Carl's face on it. Okay? Okay. All right. You're playing me off. Fine. Music's going. That means it's time for they love me, they love me, not hit me with they love me.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

All right, let's see. This is from Dougie Craig 5113. Tosh is one of the few people I'm okay with hawking for the betting sites because he actually gambles.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Okay. When I was in the Midwest, I just had to keep switching states every day. Transferring the Money over. But man, that was fun. Listen, gambling is a real problem in this country, and you shouldn't do it unless you you're doing it purely for entertainment purposes. But me, oh, man, I'm on a hot streak right now, Heater. And I feel like I'm doing it to change lives.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

Invincible.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

I'm Gamb. I can't lose.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

You can't lose.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Give me. Give me a game. Coming up. I'll tell you the winner. Spurs. All right, next.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

BB 1257.

[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

Unhoused.

[Dylan (Podcast Co-host)]

So dumb. How many years until we have to change the word again? I propose houseless.

[Carl (Podcast Host)]

Fuck off. Yep. So stupid. You're mad because I'm calling people that don't have a place to live unhoused instead of what we used to say, homeless. You know what? My grandfather used to say a lot of words that I bet you wouldn't be comfortable shouting in a crowded elevator in Atlanta. Oh, my goodness. So fucking evolve or shut up. Those are your two options. Who cares that people are saying, oh, this is what we changed the word. We don't say that. We say this. Okay, fine. Just tell me what the new word is and I'll start saying that one. My grandfather. What a colorful character. The problem was he just really preferred one specific color. See you next week.

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[Guilford (Gilly the Clown)]

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