My Favorite Military Long Distance Runner - Paul Johnson

Summary

Summary of "My Favorite Military Long Distance Runner - Paul Johnson" Episode on The Tosh Show

Released on June 10, 2025, "My Favorite Military Long Distance Runner - Paul Johnson" is an engaging episode of the Tosh Show, hosted by Daniel Tosh alongside co-host Eddie Gosling. In this episode, Daniel interviews Paul Johnson, an ultra-runner and Navy veteran, who shares his extraordinary journey of running across the United States to raise awareness and funds for mental health issues in the military.

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Introduction of the Guest: Paul Johnson

The episode kicks off with Daniel Tosh introducing Paul Johnson, highlighting his impressive feat of running from Los Angeles to New York City in just over seven weeks. Daniel humorously probes Paul’s motivations, setting a lighthearted yet respectful tone for the conversation.

Notable Quote:

• Daniel Tosh [03:25]: "How many miles a day are you running?"
• Paul Johnson [03:25]: "About 60."

Paul’s Background and Military Service

Paul delves into his background, discussing his seven-year tenure in the Navy. He shares personal anecdotes about his father's passing and the role he had to assume in taking care of his mother during this challenging period.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Johnson [05:00]: "He was great. We would prank. Me and Eric would prank him a lot."
• Daniel Tosh [08:03]: "I told you, you're my dad now."

The Ultra-Run Across the United States

Paul provides a comprehensive overview of his ambitious run, detailing the route from Los Angeles through California, Arizona, New Mexico, and touching Texas before making his way to New York City. He candidly discusses the physical and mental challenges he faced, including extreme weather conditions like sandstorms and intense heat.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Johnson [22:03]: "I'd say I'm upper middle of the pack. The advantage I have is that I've got strong legs."
• Daniel Tosh [27:25]: "You were on foot. We did Santa Monica Pier."

Training, Diet, and Daily Routine

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around Paul’s rigorous training regimen and unconventional diet. Paul candidly shares his high-calorie intake, primarily consisting of powdered donuts, golden Oreos, and other high-sugar foods, which fueled his extreme mileage but also led to severe weight fluctuations and digestive issues.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Johnson [28:13]: "I would eat three bags of donuts in the morning."
• Daniel Tosh [29:27]: "You would start your day off with what? The powdered donuts."

Support Crew and Logistics

Paul explains the crucial role of his support crew, a team of five individuals traveling in an RV and a Ford Transit van. They handled logistics such as food, hydration, and emergency situations, allowing Paul to focus solely on running.

Notable Quotes:

• Daniel Tosh [25:30]: "Did you sleep in the RV as well, or did you guys get a hotel?"
• Paul Johnson [25:42]: "We had a full-time crew of about five."

Challenges Faced During the Run

The duo discusses the numerous obstacles Paul encountered, including mechanical failures, navigational errors, and physical ailments. Paul's resilience is evident as he navigates these setbacks with determination.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Johnson [37:09]: "A little over 600k."
• Daniel Tosh [37:34]: "My goodness. That is awful."

Fundraising and Impact

Paul proudly shares that his run successfully raised over $600,000 for mental health initiatives within the military. Despite facing financial setbacks due to unexpected expenses, Paul emphasizes the positive impact of his efforts.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Johnson [37:09]: "A little over 600k."
• Daniel Tosh [37:34]: "Nuts. Wait, was it because the RV?"

Other Ultra-Running Endeavors

Beyond his coast-to-coast run, Paul discusses his participation in other grueling races, including the Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc in Europe and a 100-mile race in Antarctica. These experiences underscore his dedication and passion for ultra-running.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Johnson [45:35]: "I have, but that's why I'm not doing them again."
• Daniel Tosh [46:17]: "That's pretty neat."

Post-Run Life and Future Plans

In the concluding segment, Paul reflects on his transition back to civilian life, expressing excitement about the newfound freedom and the ability to pursue personal interests without the constraints of military obligations.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Johnson [49:05]: "I can just go wherever I want without having to tell anybody."
• Daniel Tosh [50:19]: "You got sponsored by shoes, but they didn't really sponsor you."

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Conclusion

The episode wraps up with a humorous exchange between Daniel Tosh and Eddie Gosling, recounting amusing anecdotes and promoting upcoming tours and merchandise. Despite the lighthearted end, the core of the conversation remains a testament to Paul Johnson's remarkable endurance and commitment to a noble cause.

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Key Takeaways:

• Resilience and Determination: Paul's ability to push through extreme physical and mental challenges is inspiring.
• Support Systems: The importance of a dedicated support crew in accomplishing such ambitious goals.
• Awareness and Fundraising: Successfully raising substantial funds for mental health issues highlights the impactful role of personal endeavors in broader societal causes.
• Personal Sacrifices: Paul's candid discussion about his diet and personal life offers raw insights into the sacrifices made during ultra-running endeavors.

Notable Impact: Paul Johnson's story serves as a powerful example of how individual passion and perseverance can contribute significantly to important causes, inspiring listeners to pursue their own challenges while supporting meaningful initiatives.

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Quotes Highlights:

• Paul Johnson [28:48]: "You just gotta put sugar in and burn it off right away."
• Daniel Tosh [27:32]: "Why are you an idiot for not having a shirt on?"
• Paul Johnson [35:25]: "The whole point of the run was I want to do it A, B, the fundraising and C, the awareness."

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This detailed summary encapsulates the essence of Paul Johnson's journey, providing listeners with a comprehensive understanding of his motivations, challenges, and triumphs, all while maintaining an engaging narrative flow enriched with memorable quotes.

Transcript

[Daniel Tosh]

This is an iHeart podcast tired of the price of everything going up these days? Groceries, rent, you name it, it's all going up. But not at Metro. They've got your back. Metro has lowered their prices and are giving you a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. One line now 20% lower. Family plans also lowered. Oh and you also get a free 5G phone, all with no ID required and no activation fees. Stop by your neighborhood Metro store, visit metrobytmobile.com or call to find out about their AMAZ offers. Bring your number. Not available if currently at T Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days. Guaranty covers monthly price of on network, Talk, text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan. Exclusions apply [e-mail] Pro paint days are back at Lowe's and Milo's Pro Rewards. Members can save even more with limited time deals right now. Buy one, get one half off Select HGTV Home by Sherwin Williams Primer and Ceiling Paint plus get free same day delivery to your job site when you order by 2pm Offer valid through 6 13. Delivery by 8pm Subject to driver availability. Additional terms apply c loads.com SameDay Delivery for details with depression, it feels like every day you're just going through the motions. O Velody provides relief from symptoms of depression that's fast and lasts. In a study, O Velody started working for some as early as one week with significant improvement seen on average at six weeks compared to placebo. Imagine feeling more like yourself again with Ovelity. Ovelity is a prescription medicine for adults with major depressive disorder. Ovelity is not approved for children under 18. O may increase suicidal thoughts and actions in young adults. Tell your doctor about sudden changes to mood, thoughts or or behavior. Do not take Ovelity if you have a history of seizure, eating disorder or have abruptly stopped drinking alcohol or taking benzodiazepines, barbiturates or anti seizure medicine. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Do not take if you are allergic to dextromethorphan, bupropion or any of the ingredients in ovelity. Do not take with maois. High blood pressure, manic episodes, serious eye problems and dizziness can occur. Report all medicines you take to avoid a life threatening condition. Do not take a velody if you are or may become pregnant. Side effects can include dizziness, headache, diarrhea, feeling sleepy, dry mouth, sexual function problems and excessive sweating. Ask your healthcare provider if a velody is right for you, visit auvelty.com that's a U V L I T Y.com or call 866-496-2976 for more information. Original Penguin is an icon brand known for vintage, inspired clothes for an original good time. This year, the Original Penguin is celebrating their 70th anniversary of their iconic logo. To celebrate all these decades of good times, the brand has curated a capsule collection of nostalgic yet modern styles inspired by the iconic archive of mid century designs. To get your hands on Original Penguin's capsule collection and join the brand in celebrating 70 iconic years, go to originalpenguin.com and use code TOSH for 20% off. How many miles a day are you running?

[Paul]

About 60.

[Daniel Tosh]

60 miles a day.

[Paul]

Some were less. Some of them. I think my biggest day was 80 miles and my lowest was like 35.

[Daniel Tosh]

Tosh show, posh show. Tosh show, Pro show. Hey, guys. Welcome to Tosh show with me, Mr. Edward Gosling. Eddie, how are you?

[Eddie Gosling]

I'm good. How are you?

[Daniel Tosh]

Liar. Eddie wasn't here last week. As everybody knows. He was gone. We missed him. The fans were angry because anytime Dylan or John or Pete chimes in, they're like, oh, they don't have the comedic chops. The show really took a dive.

[Eddie Gosling]

That's unfortunate.

[Daniel Tosh]

And you were on a cruise, is that right?

[Eddie Gosling]

I was on a cruise. I did a Caribbean cruise. Three days. It was pretty nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

By yourself?

[Eddie Gosling]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Good for you. Sometimes you need a little me time to recharge, and I like to get.

[Eddie Gosling]

On a cruise with 2,000 people. I don't know.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, you were taking care of your mother. Your father passed away. We're very sorry about that.

[Eddie Gosling]

Thanks, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

And your dad was. You know, I don't have a ton of military dad experience, but just always. Just a sweet man. Yeah, that was always. It was always, like, delightful. And to have, like, a goofball like you as a son who just always was talking nonsense. He really just rolled with the punches constantly.

[Eddie Gosling]

Yeah, he was great. We would prank. Me and Eric would prank him a lot. My brother. Really fun stuff. Great guy. Colonel in the military.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, that's just. That's just a lot. So you went back to Florida?

[Eddie Gosling]

Yep. Went to Florida.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, that's a. That was a beautiful.

[Eddie Gosling]

Nope, just hot.

[Daniel Tosh]

It was hot.

[Eddie Gosling]

Miserable.

[Daniel Tosh]

You look a little sunburned, if I'm being honest with you. The first thing I said I saw, Eddie gave him a big hug. I hate touching people. Yeah, big hug. Hug Daddy. And then I go, man, he looks sunburned. He's like, yeah, I fucking pressure washed my mom's house.

[Eddie Gosling]

Yeah. The whole back lanai was just like. I mean, when it rains there, you get everything. So I had to get through there and then some plants.

[Daniel Tosh]

She just immediately passed on her honey do list to you.

[Eddie Gosling]

It really was like we would. I do stuff during the day, and she would take out something from the freezer and thaw it out for dinner. And then we'd sit there and watch Jeopardy. And Wheel of Fortune, have dinner.

[Daniel Tosh]

And you just became your father.

[Eddie Gosling]

My dad.

[Daniel Tosh]

You became her father.

[Eddie Gosling]

Started wearing his clothes. Didn't do that. But I was like, I do feel like I'm feeling a void for her right now.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, yeah. And your mother, also a very sweet person. You know, if she's listening. Let's go. Come on out to California. You know, split your time. You come to California, you head on over to Austin to hang out with your other son. You play with these grandkids. Ah, we'll take care of you. You spend a day or two at my place. That's it.

[Eddie Gosling]

There you go. You know, set up.

[Daniel Tosh]

We got you three months at your place, two days at mine. We'll do it. We'll have some fun. Also, my stylist, Carrie, her father just passed away. Yeah, it's just awful. They say it happens in threes. Dylan. Dylan doesn't know his father. I don't believe.

[Eddie Gosling]

Right. He doesn't know. Yeah, he's a donor.

[Daniel Tosh]

John, how old were you when your father passed? I was 30 years old. Okay. And you were cleared of all charges? Yeah, yeah, they didn't.

[Paul]

They didn't know.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's pretty well. Well orchestrated. All right, well, so that didn't count because that was. That was quite a while. So the third. Well, it's. This is awful. Eddie. I owe you $5,000. Yep. Eddie and I made a gentleman's bet for $5,000 on whose father would go for us.

[Eddie Gosling]

We did not do that.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, no. Let's go. Double or nothing on wives.

[Eddie Gosling]

Carries over everybody.

[Daniel Tosh]

Why is.

[Eddie Gosling]

He'll live forever.

[Daniel Tosh]

Not if I have anything to say about it.

[Eddie Gosling]

Not if we go on a cruise.

[Daniel Tosh]

I got some tips. Well, I tell you, if I can do anything for you, you know I would. And actually, I talked it over with Carly, Eddie, and we would like to adopt you.

[Eddie Gosling]

Hey. Okay. That'd be great. Let's do that. I like the idea of you adopting me.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know if it's. Are you legally allowed to adopt someone that's older than you?

[Eddie Gosling]

I'm five years old, so barely older.

[Daniel Tosh]

Barely old. I bet you could. Okay, yeah, done.

[Eddie Gosling]

You're my dad now.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. I mean, I don't think you should call me a dad right away.

[Eddie Gosling]

I'd like to go to college.

[Daniel Tosh]

Again.

[Eddie Gosling]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, God. Well, I do want you to share a room with your little brother.

[Eddie Gosling]

Oh, my brother. Yeah. Big. My brother now.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, we're glad you're back. You only missed one day of work and we'll dock your pay.

[Eddie Gosling]

Okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you have to cancel any shows? Are you going to have to cancel any shows?

[Eddie Gosling]

No. He'll be buried at Arlington National Cemetery, so that's way better.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's fancy.

[Eddie Gosling]

Yeah, it's pretty fancy place.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, they do. I mean, I'm just going to ask. Do they do the.

[Eddie Gosling]

Yeah, Full military honors.

[Daniel Tosh]

How many. How many rounds they fire off? 16.

[Eddie Gosling]

21.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, it's a 21.

[Eddie Gosling]

21 gun salute or maybe seven guns. Three times. I think it's 21 fire.

[Daniel Tosh]

21. 21.

[Eddie Gosling]

Yeah. Because he was a bomber pilot, they've asked for, like a flyover, too.

[Daniel Tosh]

So they've asked for. Who knows to ask for the flyover.

[Eddie Gosling]

Who knows to ask? I mean, the funeral home that you do, they're kind of like, because he's a colonel and he was a pilot, you can ask for a flyover.

[Daniel Tosh]

But did you know to ask for this stuff?

[Eddie Gosling]

I mean. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

You did?

[Eddie Gosling]

I did.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, good for you. I mean, your parents, their affairs were in order, but it's just. It's always so like, oh, you just have to spring into action right away. Right.

[Eddie Gosling]

You got to start wrapping things up.

[Daniel Tosh]

Here we go. Now, today's guest, military, kind of, you know, Navy. I'm teasing, Seaman, by the way, when you came home from your trip with your family from Florida, did you consider jogging back instead of flying?

[Eddie Gosling]

Did not.

[Daniel Tosh]

No. See, today's guest would have told you, hey, take that $300. Just spend it on awful 711 meets and just jog 40 to 55 miles a day and you could get home in an easy 52 days. Enjoy. Hi, Daniel. Tosh here. Now, you may know me as a comedian and a podcaster, but I'm also an entrepreneur. So I know firsthand that starting a new business can be overwhelming, thanks to all the hats you suddenly have to learn to wear. But lucky for me, we had Shopify to help. Shopify is a commerce platform by millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all E commerce in America, from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started when you use Shopify, your company doesn't need to hire its own design studio or marketing team. They take care of everything with ready to use templates, social media campaigns and AI tools for content creation. They have tons of experience in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com tosh turn your big business idea into With Shopify on your side, go to shopify.com tosh that shopify.com tosh with depression, it feels like every day you're just going through the motions. O velity provides relief from symptoms of depression that's fast and lasts in a Ovelity started working for some as early as one week with significant improvement seen on average at six weeks compared to placebo. Imagine feeling more like yourself again with Ovelity. Ovelity is a prescription medicine for adults with major depressive disorder. Ovelity is not approved for children under 18. Ovelity may increase suicidal thoughts and actions in young adults. Tell your doctor about sudden changes to mood, thoughts or or behavior. Do not take Ovelity if you have a history of seizure, eating disorder or have abruptly stopped drinking alcohol or taking benzodiazepines, barbiturates or anti seizure medicine. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Do NOT take if you are allergic to dextromethorphan, bupropion or any of the ingredients in Ovelity. Do not take with maois. High blood pressure, manic episodes, serious eye problems and dizziness can occur. Report all medicines you take to avoid a life threatening condition. Do not take a Velody if you are or may become pregnant. Side effects can include dizziness, headache, diarrhea, feeling sleepy, dry mouth, sexual function problems and excessive sweating. Ask your healthcare provider if a velody is right for you. Visit auveledy.com that's a U V E L I T Y.com or call 866-496-2976 for more information. Original Penguin it's an iconic American brand known for vintage, inspired clothes. For an original good time, let me tell you something guys. Right now this this hits close to home to me. My grandfather always wore Penguin shirts. I remember a photo of him wearing a Penguin shirt when he hit his hole in one. Oh, that was a big deal for our family. This year the Original Penguin is celebrating their 70th anniversary of their iconic logo. Pete the Penguin. I didn't even know his name was Pete. Did you Pete, you should be wearing those shirts. Original Penguin has been an icon in men's fashion, becoming a full lifestyle brand that celebrates individuality and fun. To celebrate all these decades of original good times, the brand has curated a capsule collection of nostalgic yet modern styles inspired by the iconic archive of mid century designs. To get your hands on original Penguins capsule collection and join the brand in celebrating 70 iconic years, go to originalpenguin.com and use code tosh for 20% off. That's originalpenguin.com and Use the code tosh t osh for a 20% discount. That's nothing to sneeze at. Tired of the price of everything going up these days. Groceries, rent, you name it, it's all going up. But not at Metro. They've got your back. Metro has lowered their prices and are giving you a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. One line now 20% lower. Family plans also lowered. Oh and you also a free 5G phone, all with no ID required and no activation fees. Stop by your neighborhood Metro store, visit metrobytmobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers. Bring your number. Not available if currently at T Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days. Guaranty covers monthly price of on network, Talk, text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan. Exclusions apply. [e-mail] Paw show my guest today is insane. There's no other way to put it. He ran from LA to New York City in seven weeks to raise money and awareness for mental health issues in our military. He will be the third runner we have had on the show, but the second with legs. Please welcome ultra runner Paul.

[Paul]

Sounds great to me.

[Daniel Tosh]

Paul. I have so many questions. Let's start. Here we go. You ready? Do you believe in ghosts?

[Paul]

Yes.

[Daniel Tosh]

Mmm. Do you have proof?

[Paul]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, okay.

[Paul]

You just said believe.

[Daniel Tosh]

Uh huh. You ever have an experience?

[Paul]

So the ships for the Navy?

[Daniel Tosh]

Uh huh.

[Paul]

Down like the some of the engine plants. Weird stuff happens down there when you're.

[Daniel Tosh]

By yourself and it's ghosts.

[Paul]

Like the lights will turn on and off.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well sure. It's a ship.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

But now before I thank you for your service, what is it that you're running from?

[Paul]

Oof. It's deep boredom.

[Daniel Tosh]

No. Is that what got you into it for real?

[Paul]

No. My buddy wanted to run the Marine Corps marathon. I was like sure, I'll run a marathon with you.

[Daniel Tosh]

And had you never had ran a marathon?

[Paul]

I had run a Marathon because I did an Ironman back in college, but I hadn't run in probably close to four or five years.

[Daniel Tosh]

How many miles are you running in the Ironman?

[Paul]

26.2.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're doing a full marathon?

[Paul]

It's a marathon at the end.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's at the end. What's the hardest part of the Ironman?

[Paul]

I guess staying awake. It was a long. It was my first ever, like, long race, so it's just, like, super tiring.

[Daniel Tosh]

How long does it take you to do the Ironman?

[Paul]

I want to say it was like 11 hours to do 11.

[Daniel Tosh]

Isn't that incredible?

[Paul]

That's a short race now.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right, so you were in the Navy. How long are you in the Navy? You still in the Navy?

[Paul]

I'm in the Navy for another two days, and then I'm out.

[Daniel Tosh]

Two more days. Congratulations.

[Paul]

Thank you. So seven years total.

[Daniel Tosh]

Could anything tragic, theoretically happen in the next two days? That would make you, like, keep you in?

[Paul]

Oh, no. It's all signed. Paperwork's done, so it's not like we need you.

[Daniel Tosh]

This just happened. Aliens are off the coast of Blank. We need you out there.

[Paul]

You throw aliens in? I will volunteer. Go back.

[Daniel Tosh]

You'll go back?

[Paul]

Yeah. Well, only if it's aliens, though.

[Daniel Tosh]

What made you get into the Navy in the first place?

[Paul]

Needed something to do. My parents. Well, my mom wasn't in, but my dad was Air Force for four years. His dad was career army. My mom's got some army on her grandparents, so it just seemed like something interesting to do. Looked into it and then started applying. I was like, sure.

[Daniel Tosh]

When did you apply? How old?

[Paul]

So I went through the ROTC program that started when I.

[Daniel Tosh]

Where'd you go to school?

[Paul]

Penn State.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, were you there during Sandusky?

[Paul]

No, right after. I was safe.

[Daniel Tosh]

That would explain the running.

[Paul]

Yeah. Took very few showers there.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, that was quite a. Quite a thing. Were you hesitant to enroll there because it was right after? Or were you like, now's the time.

[Paul]

To go, Now's the time to go. You know, the market's down. Gotta slide in there while you can.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, man. Why can't they win a national championship?

[Paul]

You know, I've never actually been to a game, so I couldn't tell you.

[Daniel Tosh]

You never went to a game?

[Paul]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

You've never been to a white out?

[Paul]

I bought season tickets and I would resell them.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you make money off of it? Yeah. Oh, so it was like, just a business move?

[Paul]

I guess.

[Daniel Tosh]

Were you a hustler in college?

[Paul]

I don't know. About Hustler. But, you know, I was able to buy my ramen every day.

[Daniel Tosh]

Ah. I was getting into the old nifty lions. I can't even say that word properly.

[Paul]

I don't think they're a real animal.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's great. I agree. All right. You joined the Navy. Where were you stationed?

[Paul]

First three years I was in Rota, Spain, which is on the southern coast, right on the Straits of Gibraltar. So we have like a joint base between the Spanish and the US there.

[Daniel Tosh]

Beautiful.

[Paul]

Beautiful.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's beautiful.

[Paul]

I would go back there. Not in the navy? In a heartbeat.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. Because you were on the ship a lot.

[Paul]

All the time.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's the bad part about the Navy is having to be on the ship all the time.

[Paul]

Yep. And they're not like nice yachts either.

[Daniel Tosh]

I've never been on a cruise. I've never done a yacht that boats. That's not my world. You were stationed there for how long were you there?

[Paul]

Three years. Okay, so 2018 to 2021.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right. And where'd you head off after Spain?

[Paul]

San Diego. So I was there 2021-2023 sometime.

[Daniel Tosh]

You like San Diego?

[Paul]

Love it. Almost moved back there.

[Daniel Tosh]

A lot of good looking people down there in San Diego. I enjoy it. Sometimes I don't go. I don't. I don't love it as much as other people do, but that's. That's neither here nor there. You have any cool sailor tattoos?

[Paul]

Seven or eight.

[Daniel Tosh]

You do?

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Where are they? I'm not asking to see them.

[Paul]

Well, we can show them if you want.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, I'll look at your tattoo.

[Paul]

You're gonna get in there, though.

[Daniel Tosh]

Whether I want to or not. By the way, is it true that sailors drink a lot?

[Paul]

Yes.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you drink a lot?

[Paul]

Not anymore.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you drink while running?

[Paul]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

Can you drink a lot?

[Paul]

I used to be able to. Not anymore.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, but sailors in general, that is a.

[Paul]

It's a fact.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's a. It's not a stereotype. It's based on truth. Did everyone on the ships drink?

[Paul]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

But you don't drink when you're on the ships at all?

[Paul]

No, they don't.

[Daniel Tosh]

Right.

[Paul]

They don't have. The Spanish do so. We had a Spanish navigator who hung out with us as an exchange program. And he was so pissed the first day when he found out there was no beer on board.

[Daniel Tosh]

He was pissed he didn't understand our customs and rules. And we've always had that rule they used to like.

[Paul]

That's where a cup of joe came from. For Coffee. They got rid of alcohol and they said, I guess the guy's name was Joe or something. He got rid of it. He was Secretary of the Navy or Naval Operations something. And he got rid of it and they replaced it with coffee.

[Daniel Tosh]

Cup of Joe came from the Navy. Did you guys know that? Did not. Ah, that's great. We learned something today. Did you join Top Gun?

[Paul]

No, no. That's like a pilot thing. And I'm not a pilot, so no interest. I wanted to do explosive orange disposal, eod. It didn't work out when I applied for all the transfers. So I stayed as a service warfare officer on the ships.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you watch the new Top Gun Maverick movie?

[Paul]

I have.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you enjoy it?

[Paul]

I did.

[Daniel Tosh]

The opening sequence is all I like. I just like that. I just like people doing big thumbs up. Tom Cruise. What's your thoughts on him?

[Paul]

Don't like him.

[Daniel Tosh]

You don't like him?

[Paul]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

Why don't you like him?

[Paul]

When they filmed Top Gun 2, they basically contract out the ship to go to sea. So they sent 5,000 sailors to sea just to film the movie. And then when they were on the ship, none of the sailors were able to use, like, the gym or, like, they weren't even allowed to, like, look at him. They basically like, you can't look at him. You can't use the gym because it's for him only. So within the Navy, don't like him.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, I didn't know. I didn't know the Primadon was like that. I think it's just funny that he keeps doing these things. Watching him run is so silly. So while you're in the Navy, did you stumble upon this desire to become an ultra runner, or was this kind of always something that you wanted to do?

[Paul]

I completely stumbled upon it when I was living in San Diego.

[Daniel Tosh]

You seem just. I know nothing about anything for the most part. But as a runner, if I were to guess what an ultra runner looked like. You seem big. You seem bulkier. I am than I wanted you to be. I'm thinking, Kenya, yes. I'm thinking those runners.

[Paul]

Yes.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm thinking light, easy on the knees. You seem like. Like a big old dude going through. Is that normal? Are most ultra runners the heavy pros.

[Paul]

Do not look like me. The pros are stick figures that can fly up a mountain.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's what I. That's what I was thinking.

[Paul]

I'd say I'm upper middle of the pack. The advantage I have is that I've got strong legs. So I'm pretty good at the Climbing portion. But yeah, I carry around extra weight that most people don't.

[Daniel Tosh]

How did you decide? All right, well, I'm going to, you know, try to break the record and run across the United States of America.

[Paul]

The record was kind of an afterthought. I knew I wanted to do the run and when I first started training, I was like, there's no way I could do like 40 miles a day.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's how many people have done this run.

[Paul]

It's not. There's no real official tally. Probably somewhere less than a thousand.

[Daniel Tosh]

And it's 3,000 miles. Ish.

[Paul]

Within the running community, you have to do 3,000 miles. But as long as you go city to city across the coast, it counts.

[Daniel Tosh]

Why in Los Angeles to New York? Why don't people. Nobody, nobody does. North Dakota down to Texas?

[Paul]

Well, that would be up and down, not across.

[Daniel Tosh]

That doesn't. Well, I mean, I guess it all depends on your perspective and the time of the year, which way the planet is. No. Is there any shortcuts when you're running? Like. Like you're not running on a freeway ever, are you?

[Paul]

It depends. No interstates, but definitely freeways.

[Daniel Tosh]

How direct of a route are you doing?

[Paul]

We did it. La, where we go? California, Arizona, Northern Arizona, northern New Mexico. We touched the corner of Texas. I just like dipped my toe in it because I did not want to run through it.

[Daniel Tosh]

I tell you what, I did the Texas part. You were smart to just hit the corner of it because when you're driving, if you do the 10 the long way through, it's just horrible.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Just never ends.

[Paul]

But Kansas, Indiana, Illinois, Ohio, Kansas is boring.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's how boring run.

[Paul]

But they were some of the nicest people.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, sure, they have to be nice.

[Paul]

They got nothing else going for.

[Daniel Tosh]

Imagine being an asshole. And you live there.

[Paul]

That was Indiana. Oh, worst state.

[Daniel Tosh]

Why was Indiana the worst state?

[Paul]

They will. You'll have a four lane road. The massive shoulder. They will purposely cut across three lanes to try to hit you and run you off the road.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh yeah, that's just a couple bad apples, man.

[Paul]

No, I would run with like my.

[Daniel Tosh]

The Hoosiers.

[Paul]

Yeah. I'd run with my pole with like a carbon carbide tip on it. They get too close. They get it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you actually have some close calls?

[Paul]

Every day. A lot of cars.

[Daniel Tosh]

So many cars. It's such a bad idea.

[Paul]

It's a terrible idea.

[Daniel Tosh]

By the way, what is the world record running across the United States of America?

[Paul]

It is 42 days, 6 hours and 30 minutes. It's something like 72 miles a day.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. And how quickly into your run did you realize, I'm not going to break this record?

[Paul]

Day four.

[Daniel Tosh]

Day four.

[Paul]

Yeah. Call quits early.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. But you're like, I'm still doing. Did you always say, I'm going to still do this no matter what?

[Paul]

Yeah, because we were going to. We're doing the run.

[Daniel Tosh]

Right.

[Paul]

The whole point of the run was I want to do it A, B, the fundraising and C, the awareness. The record was just kind of icing on the cake. If we can do it, great. If not, then you're a good person.

[Daniel Tosh]

Because you keep saying the word we, but I don't give a shit how many people sacrificed to go on this little fucking voyage with you. You're the only one doing the work.

[Paul]

That's right. I had to carry the load.

[Daniel Tosh]

So how many people did you have coming along?

[Paul]

I had a full time crew of about five.

[Daniel Tosh]

And they're in an rv.

[Paul]

They're living in an rv? Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you sleep in the RV as well, or did you guys get a hotel?

[Paul]

No hotels. I had like a Ford Transit van that I was sleeping in.

[Daniel Tosh]

So there's two vehicles following you the whole time.

[Paul]

Typically the RV would, like, jump ahead for the day. They do shopping, laundry, maybe they get a shower once a week. And the Transit van would stay with me and kind of just follow me along, feeding me and giving me water.

[Daniel Tosh]

Would you shower every day in the.

[Paul]

In where the van had, like a little, you know, shower thing in it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Garbage showers.

[Paul]

I thought it was great.

[Daniel Tosh]

Look at you just doing it. All right. How many miles a day are you running?

[Paul]

About 60.

[Daniel Tosh]

60 miles a day.

[Paul]

Some were less. Some of them. I think my biggest day was 80 miles and my lowest was like 35.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't even get it. I don't get it on any level. I can't run three miles.

[Paul]

We can do it right now. We can go after the. We talk here. I'll take it out.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, I don't want to. It's just so hard. How often are you walking up hills?

[Paul]

I don't run up hills. You walk up them.

[Daniel Tosh]

What was the biggest elevation changes you were doing?

[Paul]

We did.

[Daniel Tosh]

Quit saying we.

[Paul]

It's not happening.

[Daniel Tosh]

They're in a car.

[Paul]

That's right. I made fun of them because they weren't acclimated. They tried to go running at 7,000ft in Flagstaff when I was up there, and they all just died because they weren't moving with me. Highest point was, I think, 9,000 or so feet in Taos, New Mexico. The most vert I did in a day was about 8,000 because we did two 4,000 foot climbs going up to Towson one day.

[Daniel Tosh]

How many days did it take you to get out of LA just because of the traffic?

[Paul]

I didn't have traffic.

[Daniel Tosh]

Where'd you go?

[Paul]

I was on foot. We did Santa Monica Pier, and then I'm still like learning all the roads out here, but I think it was foothill. Like, ran along foothill, I think. And then we stopped somewhere around Fontana on the first day. Second day, we were in Palm Springs. That was the 80 mile day. And then like getting to Palm Springs, we're literally running through like the desert. There was like a sandstorm rolling through. So, like you couldn't even see where you were running. You're just running through 10ft of visibility, getting sandblasted at 50 miles an hour.

[Daniel Tosh]

Were you wearing glasses?

[Paul]

I had sunglasses on. I didn't have a shirt on at that point because I'm an idiot.

[Daniel Tosh]

Sunburn?

[Paul]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, why are you an idiot for not having a shirt on? Why is that a bad move?

[Paul]

Heat, stress.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul]

So I didn't get sunburned, but, like, that was part of the reasons we had to call the record attempt was because my body just went into total shutdown on like day three or something.

[Daniel Tosh]

When did you like it? Click. You're like, I can go forever. Do you just not get tired now?

[Paul]

You get tired, but, like, the best part about the sport is it's really just like an eating competition.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Paul]

Because you just got to keep eating. If you keep eating, you make it to the end. Like, you're not running super fast comparatively to if you were sprinting. You're just kind of chugging along. You take some walking breaks, eat a lot of food, and you just keep going.

[Daniel Tosh]

Hold on. Your weight?

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

You started the race weighing what, 178? Probably 178. And then halfway through where, what'd you. What'd you. The lowest amount of weight?

[Paul]

Where, where were you at 1:50 something or like 160 below? 160s? Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Great. And then by time, you finished the race at 50. Two days later, you weighed what, 180 you had gained?

[Paul]

I gained. I gained all that weight back, plus a little bit.

[Daniel Tosh]

How is that possible?

[Paul]

Eat more food.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. I want to talk about your diet because it's just. It's just horrible.

[Paul]

It's great for running.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's not. I mean, there's. Nobody can say this is the right thing to do. You Would start your day off with what? The powdered donuts.

[Paul]

Powdered donuts.

[Daniel Tosh]

How many would you eat of those?

[Paul]

Those, like mini powdered donuts.

[Daniel Tosh]

You buy a sleeve?

[Paul]

No, like the big white bags at the grocery store.

[Daniel Tosh]

The big white bag. I hear you.

[Paul]

I would eat three of those in the morning.

[Daniel Tosh]

Three bags?

[Paul]

Yeah, three bags of donuts. And then like half a family sized thing of golden Oreos, like inside of pancakes. I'd make pancakes with the Oreos in them. And I would eat that for about three hours. And then I would eat all the powdered donuts. And that was like breakfast. It was delicious.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, I understand that you're burning calories, but there's better calories, better ways to get calories than like that.

[Paul]

Would you do it like a salad?

[Daniel Tosh]

No, not a salad, but I just don't think those donuts are the right things to eat.

[Paul]

You just gotta. You gotta put sugar in and burn it off right away. That's why I was losing weight, so.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, how did you gain weight then?

[Paul]

We started taking creatine about halfway through. So some of that water weight.

[Daniel Tosh]

We weren't taking creatine.

[Paul]

No, they were taking creatine too. That was a team effort.

[Daniel Tosh]

Everybody's getting.

[Paul]

They were like shoving pills down my throat. Throat at night. They're like, take your vitamins. And we also started eating a lot more.

[Daniel Tosh]

Like, what else were you eating? How much? What was a dinner like?

[Paul]

Well, you skipped lunch.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's lunch?

[Paul]

Lunch was Mac and cheese and steak.

[Daniel Tosh]

That makes more sense. Pasta and steak.

[Paul]

Yeah. If there was a burger, chain, McDonald's, I'd get a Big Mac or a single large fried and vanilla milkshake. Pizza. Half of pizza. Dunkin Donuts. We'd get like a full dozen of glazed donuts. Pop those down.

[Daniel Tosh]

Were you eating in a civilized manner or were you just like. Just like.

[Paul]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Pinkies were out and everything.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, but I mean, like, were you sitting down in restaurants ever?

[Paul]

No. You don't. You don't have time.

[Daniel Tosh]

I didn't think so. No.

[Paul]

You're like, I'm literally. You eat and run on the side of the road at the same time.

[Daniel Tosh]

You were jogging and eating.

[Paul]

It's my superpower. Iron gut.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, it's not your superpower. How is your. Your bms? Bms Bowel movements? Your shits?

[Paul]

Oh, yeah. Code browns.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Paul]

How are you?

[Daniel Tosh]

Code browns?

[Paul]

Plentiful and mixed variety.

[Daniel Tosh]

Right. So were you having loose stools?

[Paul]

First one of the day, yes. Second one of the day. About two hours later? No. Third One around lunch? Yes. And then sometime in the evening, it was back to solid. It was like, take turns, alternate.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's where I tell you your diet was off. Because, like, better foods would have maybe stopped somewhere.

[Paul]

And you still haven't said which foods, though.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know the answers. I just. You know, I would assume someone that's in this world would be like, this is what you should be eating. Not three bags of powdered donuts every morning. Just so many donuts.

[Paul]

So good.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, I'm not gonna lie. I can eat that stuff. Yeah.

[Paul]

Sounds like you're ready to run.

[Daniel Tosh]

What were you drinking? Were you only drinking water? Were you drinking some gross stuff?

[Paul]

Water, milkshakes, melted ice cream. Like the freezer sometimes didn't work.

[Daniel Tosh]

You loved, man.

[Paul]

Yeah, it's a lot of easy.

[Daniel Tosh]

Are you lactose intolerant?

[Paul]

No. Well, if I am, it's too bad. I guess I'm gonna get.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, I can't imagine what that would do to me if I was running. What about finding bathrooms?

[Paul]

There's a lot of foliage out there on the side of the road.

[Daniel Tosh]

So you were just doing your business wherever you could?

[Paul]

It would depend.

[Daniel Tosh]

Nobody had it. I mean, the RV obviously had a toilet, but they weren't next to you at all times.

[Paul]

I mean, the van had a toilet in it, but it was only for code browns. That was it. Otherwise, you know, Piss on the side of the road.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, sure.

[Paul]

Sometimes you just pop a squat in a bush because the rv, they're, you know, they leapfrog and you really gotta go, so you just find a bush.

[Daniel Tosh]

When you were using this portable bathroom in. In the van.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did they dispose of it.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Outside of the van immediately, or were they driving around with your shit?

[Paul]

I mean, it's like one of those containers where you can, like, shit in it a bunch of times and then you eventually just empty it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, so they weren't emptying it right away.

[Paul]

No, they would probably empty it.

[Daniel Tosh]

They were driving your.

[Paul]

Every three days. Yeah. The country, like my delivery drivers.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, I guess that's why you say we. They did a little bit of the work. What about wipes? Were you using wet wipes or.

[Paul]

Wet wipes. And a lot of lube.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's nice. Lube.

[Paul]

Oh, lube saves lives. There's no such thing as too much.

[Daniel Tosh]

Lube just because your butt was so sore.

[Paul]

Well, I mean, everything. Just chafing, you don't like. If you have any chafing, it's bad.

[Daniel Tosh]

Were your nipples burned?

[Paul]

No. You tape them?

[Daniel Tosh]

You tape Them?

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

And you lost all your finger toenails.

[Paul]

I probably lost three on that particular run.

[Daniel Tosh]

Were you listening to music?

[Paul]

All the time.

[Daniel Tosh]

You did?

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

What kind of earbuds are you using?

[Paul]

Shocks. They're like the bone conductive where it sits right here on your head, but it doesn't actually go in the ear.

[Daniel Tosh]

How long's that battery lasting?

[Paul]

10 hours.

[Daniel Tosh]

Wow. Did you get a sponsor from them?

[Paul]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's going on? What's the name of. Shocks.

[Paul]

Shocks.

[Daniel Tosh]

Shocks. It's almost embarrassing that I have to ask at this point, but, you know, if you don't do, do right by a serviceman. That alone. Good God. All right. You got sponsored by shoes, but they didn't really sponsor you.

[Paul]

No, it was like in kind support. I was about 20, 21, 22 pairs of shoes that we went through pretty much all Hoka, Bondies, Cliftons and Cielo's.

[Daniel Tosh]

Hokas are popular, but, man, I find them hideous to look at.

[Paul]

Well, they got good colors. You just don't like color then.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, I don't. I don't like the big. The big graphics on the side. It's too much for me. Hoka, are you a sponsor of the show? Come on, hook em up. Do something for him. So far, were you dating anybody during this?

[Paul]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

You have a strict no bust clause during a run.

[Paul]

No bust?

[Daniel Tosh]

Mm.

[Paul]

What do you mean?

[Daniel Tosh]

You know, take care of yourself.

[Paul]

Yeah. Not during the run.

[Daniel Tosh]

The whole time.

[Paul]

No. 51 days when I got back.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, no, I. That's what.

[Paul]

You know, your brain's just so fried. Like, you don't even. You just. All you do is you run and you immediately pass out and go to sleep.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're never horned up on a run?

[Paul]

No. It's so exhausting. Like, you just. You can't even think.

[Daniel Tosh]

How many hours a night were you sleeping?

[Paul]

Three to four.

[Daniel Tosh]

And was it like sound sleep?

[Paul]

You, like, wake up with, like, the meat sweats every couple minutes because of.

[Daniel Tosh]

All the meat that you were eating.

[Paul]

I didn't. Wasn't eating that much meat. It was mostly donuts.

[Daniel Tosh]

Steak. Yeah, steak at lunch with the Mac and cheese.

[Paul]

No. Like, your body is your freezing cold, but you're just. You. I would literally wake up. Like, I got out of the shower just soaked in sweat. Every morning.

[Daniel Tosh]

Were you worried that you weren't gonna be able to finish or every day would have you quit?

[Paul]

No. I mean, like, the answer is no. I wanted to every day, but then it's like, oh, well, I'm already using my vacation days. Like, I Might as well do this. Also, it's like I would feel bad about letting down everybody was coming out to run because we had, over the course of the run, we probably had close to 10,000 people come out along the way to run with us. So it's like, I don't want to let those people down.

[Daniel Tosh]

How often were you completely alone? What percentage of the race do you think? Race, whatever we're calling this cannonball run.

[Paul]

20 to 30% of it.

[Daniel Tosh]

You were alone.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. And the rest are just random people would run. Random people hop on any hotties, run next to you?

[Paul]

I couldn't remember because I was just so like focused on the ground in front of me.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did they want to chit chat at all?

[Paul]

Some of them did. And it's just like, please leave me alone. Other times if I was like in the headspace, I would have some conversation, but it wasn't very, very much.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did anybody like, hey, let's pick up the pace a little bit here.

[Paul]

They probably should have.

[Daniel Tosh]

We got a record to hit, buddy. Let's go. Not to be sexist, but who put gas in the RV's water tank?

[Paul]

My mom.

[Daniel Tosh]

Uh huh. And what happened? So she put gas in the water tank.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

So now you can't use water ever again on that rental rv. Well, the problem was you couldn't clean it out.

[Paul]

We would have, but after she put. She's always so embarrassed when I tell the story. After she had filled up the entire water tank with gas and she realized it, to get rid of it, she opened all the faucets and showers and just ran it through all the pipes in the rv rather than just siphoning it out and throwing some dish soap in there.

[Daniel Tosh]

In fairness, siphoning's hard. It is, but the fact that she had gasoline coming out the shower.

[Paul]

Yeah. And so Rob came back into the RV and he's like, yeah, I don't think this thing's supposed to smell like gasoline. And she's got like towels hanging up soaked in gas and everything. So it was like literally a driving bomb at that point.

[Daniel Tosh]

When did she realize that she was putting gas into the wrong spot after she filled it? I mean, that's a pretty good one to hold over your mother's head for the rest of her life. Like, as far as like, oh, cool, mom, things to do. That's a good one. How much money did you raise?

[Paul]

A little over 600k.

[Daniel Tosh]

How much did you pocket?

[Paul]

Negative 150,000. It costs a lot.

[Daniel Tosh]

You went in the hole?

[Paul]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Like you're on the hook for 150,000.

[Paul]

I was. It's paid.

[Daniel Tosh]

How'd you pay? Oh, my goodness. That is. That is awful. How much did you want? You wanted to raise what, a million?

[Paul]

A million was the goal? Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

If you would have raised a million dollars would have you pocketed money then.

[Paul]

I still would have lost money. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Nuts. Wait, was it because the rv? Did you buy this rv?

[Paul]

No, we. We destroyed that rv. Didn't get my security deposit back.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, you rented it?

[Paul]

Yeah. The insurance is always worth it for rv.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, they covered all the stuff that you guys did?

[Paul]

Yeah. I paid two fifteen hundred dollar deductibles for probably about fifty thousand dollars worth of damage.

[Daniel Tosh]

What did you guys do? Why were you guys so mean to their rv?

[Paul]

The generator blew up. My mom put gas in the water tank, and my crew chief crashed it into a concrete pillar in a parking lot.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's because they were like looking at you jogging the whole time.

[Paul]

He was asleep. Oh, and he was trying to park in a parking lot. He was super sleepy and he crashed into a pole. He also ran into a ditch in Indiana and like, completely blew up the drivetrain underneath.

[Daniel Tosh]

And what are they when. When these mishaps happen, are you like, jogging in place, waiting for them to fix shit, or do you just go on ahead?

[Paul]

You just keep going. I mean, that's why we had two vehicles.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're smart.

[Paul]

They'll figure it. They'll figure it out. That's their problem.

[Daniel Tosh]

And they always got to the next spot.

[Paul]

Yep, they did lose me in Prescott, and I had to call.

[Daniel Tosh]

Where is Prescott?

[Paul]

Arizona. Like just south of Flagstaff.

[Daniel Tosh]

The van wasn't next to you at all times?

[Paul]

No, they're like. There was a lot of times they would just leapfrog me.

[Daniel Tosh]

Mm. So I guess they can't drive in. That'd be so horrible to drive that slow at all times.

[Paul]

Usually I run on the left side of the road, but because of the. The bank, it would like, mess up your hip. So you gotta switch sides to balance everything out. And so when I'm running on the right side of the road, they would drive behind me at like five, six miles an hour.

[Daniel Tosh]

I couldn't help but notice a lot of vandalism on your journey. Is it legal to randomly spray paint your milestones on the sidewalk?

[Paul]

Debatable.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you guys clean that up or.

[Paul]

No, no, it's still there. Somebody sent me a picture on Instagram the other day. They're like, hey, your marker's still here.

[Daniel Tosh]

Ah, that's pretty good. Who the hell was the guy in your documentary that runs with the motorcycle helmet on?

[Paul]

Dead Scout. He's LA local. That's his thing. Runs with the helmet on in all black. He's done the transcon by himself four times now.

[Daniel Tosh]

With a helmet on?

[Paul]

Yeah, He's a psycho in the middle of the desert. He'll run like that, too.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you actually get runner's high?

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

You do? All right. I've never experienced it. Have you ever tried real drugs?

[Paul]

Not for another two days.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, that's right. I've never been a drug person, but I've also never been, you know, an exercise till I die person either. I'm not even sure if you actually asked a respected doctor what's worse for your body doing heroin or what you do. Heroin might be healthier.

[Paul]

There's only one way to find out.

[Daniel Tosh]

We gotta do heroin. All right. I mean, honestly, it's not healthy, right, to run that far.

[Paul]

Why not?

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, I mean, honest, it's bad. Are your knee like, you.

[Paul]

No, my knees are perfectly fine. Your glutes and, like, the whole posterior chain will start to get messed up. So that's why you have to, like, change shoes or change how you. How you're running.

[Daniel Tosh]

But, I mean, you talking about the hips thing with the sides of the.

[Paul]

Roads, like, that's all, like, that was definitely a pain. But eventually, like, it went away after we kind of, like, rehabbed it a bit.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's good stuff, man. That's good stuff. Has anyone ever been more excited to enter the state of New Jersey than you were on day 50?

[Paul]

I don't think anybody's excited to enter the state of New Jersey.

[Daniel Tosh]

Were you so happy to be finished?

[Paul]

When I saw my first sign for New York City in Jersey, I was like, oh, New York City, this way. I was the happiest person alive.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah.

[Paul]

It was like, we are done. Thank God.

[Daniel Tosh]

You finish in Times Square?

[Paul]

Yes.

[Daniel Tosh]

Police escort getting you into the city, it's impressive. And how long did it take?

[Paul]

51 days, 3 hours, and so many minutes.

[Daniel Tosh]

Were you late to work?

[Paul]

I almost was.

[Daniel Tosh]

How fast did you have to go back to work?

[Paul]

Right away, because I, like, you can only take so many vacation days at once. The maximum is 60 at once. I had all these days, and So I planned 50 because we're like, oh, let's try to get the wrecker. And then we realized, oh, man, we're not gonna make it in time. So I texted my boss and finally got them to approve an extra 10 days. But that's all they could do. So it's like you have to get it done by this day because I have to go back to work.

[Daniel Tosh]

What'd you eat when you were in New York City?

[Paul]

Cane's raising. Cane's about it. Some chicken tendies and fries.

[Daniel Tosh]

Uh huh. Listen, you're not gonna mess up.

[Paul]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's right. How do you even begin to plan something like this?

[Paul]

You get your friend to make the route for you. You get another. You just tell your friends to do it for you. Most of the stuff, once you get the route planned, it's pretty easy.

[Daniel Tosh]

But you were as an ultra runner. Is this like something that people talk about, like, oh, you ever gonna run coast to coast?

[Paul]

It's becoming more popular. The charity that it was done with, Team Red, White and Blue, they just did another version of it. They took 12 veterans and they carried a single flag from San Diego to D.C. i think they finished yesterday or two days ago. And they never stopped moving the flag. I think they averaged like a 7:45 pace. They would trade off like every 30 minutes for two weeks or three weeks straight. So they just raised another like 600k plus for that. But there's so many ways to do it. There's so many routes to take. People do San Francisco to New York, Louisiana to New York. So there's just so many ways to do it. The hardest part is getting the route figured out.

[Daniel Tosh]

I want to do Key west to Bellingham, Washington. How many miles is that? That's got to be over 5,000 is my guess. My guess is 5,211.

[Paul]

Let's say it's less. Say it's 4,000. 3,500.

[Daniel Tosh]

3,500. That's it. Man, I was way off. Are we ever thinking about running around the planet? And you have to swim whatever gaps you have to swim. We could, but you want to swim across the ocean. How about that?

[Paul]

We're gonna need the sponsors. I'm not pocketing. I'm not paying for that one.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, no. You're not coming out of pocket ever again.

[Paul]

No, no, sir.

[Daniel Tosh]

As long as I'm in charge of.

[Paul]

This, you're the new manager.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, I'm not the manager because I don't want to even take a cut of anything. I'm more the idea guy. And then I get people to make sure they pay for it. All right, what do we want them to do? You could just do a fun swim to Cuba just to show people how it's done. 90 miles. Is that an easy swim for you?

[Paul]

Probably not, but it's worth a shot.

[Daniel Tosh]

We'll have your mom in a boat next to you. Oh, man. The fact that she just turned on all the faucets is just so perfect. All right. Everybody on the show gets a gift. It's just stuff around my house that. I don't need. This gift, though. I was like, oh, man, this is perfect for Paul. A massage table.

[Paul]

Oh, perfect. Thank you. That's what I needed.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. I figure if anybody deserves to be treated.

[Paul]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Thank you.

[Paul]

Does it come with a massage therapist?

[Daniel Tosh]

I can get you a session.

[Paul]

All right.

[Daniel Tosh]

My guy's Ukrainian.

[Paul]

That's good.

[Daniel Tosh]

He's.

[Paul]

I knows what he's doing.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, he did. In fairness, he's never rubbed me. He's. He just does. My wife. She always. Her back always needs to be aligned. He's a chiropractor, too, so he's a little more legit. I like massages just to fall asleep. I don't want to be. I don't want to.

[Paul]

Don't want man hands all over you.

[Daniel Tosh]

No. I don't like man hands on me. Okay. That is true also. It is true. I don't like man, but that's not what I want to get into. I don't like to feel pain.

[Paul]

They can be gentle.

[Daniel Tosh]

This is what they say to you. I can be gentle. By the way, Paul may be the first guest that I've ever had that I didn't have to say, get this off my desk. Tell me about the days after finishing the run. Like, did you sleep for a week? How did it.

[Paul]

I slept for a day, and then I was pretty much back to normal. Like, the second day, I was, like, back to normal.

[Daniel Tosh]

How soon after you finished this race did you run again?

[Paul]

Two days later.

[Daniel Tosh]

How far did you go?

[Paul]

A mile. Warm up.

[Daniel Tosh]

Huh. Would you ever try it again?

[Paul]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

But you've done other races.

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Like other massive ultra marathons. What was the one over in Europe in the French house?

[Paul]

It was utmb. Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc. Some French words.

[Daniel Tosh]

It was beautiful.

[Paul]

It's. It's gorgeous. I got. I've done that twice now. It's 100 miles trails around the, you know, France, Italy, Switzerland. Back into France. It's gorgeous.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you have to be invited?

[Paul]

You either have to qualify to get direct entry or you enter a lottery.

[Daniel Tosh]

And how did you get into it?

[Paul]

I qualified. My first hundred mile race was in Auburn, California, and so I placed, I think, 21st or 22nd overall. And I Guess within my age group, I got automatic qualification for the French race for two years.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. That's pretty neat.

[Paul]

Yeah. Their foods aren't great. They just have a bunch of pasta, which was good, but no donuts.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. No. Most people, when you think of Italy and France, you don't think of good food. Paul, you gotta change your diet. Would you ever do a run in, like, Antarctica?

[Paul]

Already did.

[Daniel Tosh]

You did?

[Paul]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

When'd you do Antarctica?

[Paul]

November this past year.

[Daniel Tosh]

How was it?

[Paul]

Cold.

[Daniel Tosh]

Was it enjoyable?

[Paul]

No. It was exactly what it sounds like. It's Antarctica.

[Daniel Tosh]

I've wanted to go to Antarctica. I've never been.

[Paul]

I would go back, but not to run, because we did. We did a hundred miles down there and we set the new record for that.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did anybody else run with you? Did you run by yourself?

[Paul]

Well, this one was a Wii because Rob was with me. Yeah. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

So just two of you ran?

[Paul]

It was part of, like, an organized race, but we were the only ones that were actually doing 100 miles. Everyone else was doing, like, a marathon or 100K.

[Daniel Tosh]

What kind of shoes were you wearing to run in Antarctica?

[Paul]

They're like Salomons. They have, like, a zipper on the front. They go up, like, mid calf. They have, like, little nano spikes on the bottom for grip. A lot of trench foot because they're just not breathable.

[Daniel Tosh]

What about desert runs? Are you into those or not?

[Paul]

I hate deserts. Hate them.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's tough, right?

[Paul]

Yeah. Never doing a desert race probably ever. Well, I have, but that's why I'm not doing them again.

[Daniel Tosh]

I watched a thing on Bear Grylls, his team that films him when he does these survival shows, and they all are furious when it's desert hot because they're like. They'd much rather be in frozen tundras, because when they're in desert, it's just a matter of time. One by one, they will all pass out.

[Paul]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's just like. They just drop. Yeah, you can't. You can't. The heat wins every time.

[Paul]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

Have you ever considered running the Barkley Marathons?

[Paul]

No. I'll go watch, like, tailgate it, but I'm not running it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you hear about this year? No one finished.

[Paul]

Nobody. Well, it's because too many people. Two or three people finished last year.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, it's because one woman finished last year and they were like, fuck this.

[Paul]

Laz said, no way.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yep. That's what happened. They made it impossible.

[Paul]

The Barclays is just a scheme for him to get whatever T shirts or cigarettes he needs for the year. That's the entry fee.

[Daniel Tosh]

I bet you could. You don't think you could do it?

[Paul]

I could do it. I don't know if I'd finish it.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, the whole being able to. It seems very frustrating. I don't like that element of the race of like, oh, I didn't, you know, use my compass. Right. And now I'm not where I'm supposed to be. This is very disheartening, bushwhacking the whole way. Do you want this to be your job or no?

[Paul]

I like doing it for fun. Like, I don't want it to be my job. So, like, I have, like, I don't know when I'm going to do it, but sometime this summer I'm going to go on a cruise ship and run 100 miles on the cruise ship just because I can. And then I'll like, you know, chill out on the cruise ship the rest of the time.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's gonna be annoying if you're on that cruise seeing this guy just all day long doing laughs.

[Paul]

They're gonna hate me.

[Daniel Tosh]

I can think of better places to run. Where are you planning on living after you retire from the Navy?

[Paul]

Inland Empire. So about two hours east?

[Daniel Tosh]

Uh huh.

[Paul]

Yeah. Rancho Cucamonga area.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. You're gonna be a Southern California person?

[Paul]

Yes, I am.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is that good or bad? Are you looking forward to it? I mean, are you looking forward to civilian life?

[Paul]

Yes, yes. I can just go wherever I want without having to tell anybody or get approved to go. Like just drive out here, hang out all day. I'm gonna go for a run after this.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you like to run on the beach?

[Paul]

Beach Trail, road? Doesn't really matter.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. I mean, there's good trails here.

[Paul]

Yeah, that's what I was looking up.

[Daniel Tosh]

I know some trails. I don't run on them. I just walk and then yell at my kids, like, don't, don't touch that. All right, Paul. Well, thank you for being on the show. I look forward to you enjoying civilian life here in Southern California. And if I see you on the freeway, I'm not going to get too close to you. I'm going to go over, I'm going to make sure everyone around me knows, let's move over. He's got a poker. Do you always run with the poker still?

[Paul]

No, I haven't experienced these. I'm just on the trail so far here. So no roads yet.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's good. Stay on the trails. All right, Paul. Appreciate it.

[Paul]

Yeah, thank you.

[Daniel Tosh]

Thank you. With depression, it feels like every day you're just going through the motions. O velity provides relief from symptoms of depression that's fast and lasts. In a study, O velity started working for some as early as one week with significant improvement seen on average at six weeks compared to placebo. Imagine feeling more like yourself again with ovelity. O Velody is a prescription medicine for adults with major depressive disorder. MDD. O Velo Ovelity is not approved for children under 18. Ovelity may increase suicidal thoughts and actions in young adults. Tell your doctor about sudden changes to mood, thoughts or behavior. Do not take Ovelity if you have a history of seizure eating disorder or have abruptly stopped drinking alcohol or taking benzodiazepines, barbiturates or anti seizure medicine. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Do not take if you are allergic to dextromethorphan, bupropion or any of the ingredients in ovelity, do not take with mao. High blood pressure, manic episodes, serious eye problems and dizziness can occur. Report all medicines you take to avoid a life threatening condition. Do not take a velody if you are or may become pregnant. Side effects can include dizziness, headache, diarrhea, feeling sleepy, dry mouth, sexual function problems and excessive sweating. Ask your healthcare provider if a velody is right for you. Visit auvelty.com that's a U V E L-I-T-Y.com or call 866-4496-2976 for more information. Original Penguin it's an iconic American brand known for vintage inspired clothes for an original good time. Let me tell you something guys. Right now this this hits close to home to me. My grandfather always wore Penguin shirts. I remember a photo of him wearing a Penguin shirt when he hit his hole in one. Oh, that was a big deal for our family. This year the Original Penguin is celebrating their 70th anniversary of their iconic logo. Pete the Penguin. I didn't even know his name was Pete, did you Pete? You should be wearing those shirts. Original Penguin has been an icon in men's fashion, becoming a full lifestyle brand that celebrates individuality and fun. To celebrate all these decades of original good times, the brand has curated a capsule collection of nostalgic yet modern styles inspired by the iconic archive of mid century designs. To get your hands on Original Penguin's capsule collection and join the brand in celebrating 70 iconic years, go to originalpenguin.com and use code TOSH for 20% off. That's originalpenguin.com and Use the code Tosh T OSH for a 20 discount that's nothing to sneeze at. Tired of the price of everything going up these days? Groceries, rent, you name it, it's all going up. But not at Metro. They've got your back. Metro has lowered their prices and are giving you a five year old price guarantee on talk, text and data. One line now 20% lower. Family plans also lowered. Oh and you also get a free 5G phone. All with no ID required and no activation fees. Stop by your neighborhood Metro store, visit metrobytmobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers. Bring your number. Not available if currently at T Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days. Guaranty covers monthly price of on network, Talk, text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan. Exclusions apply. Apply details at metroby t mobile.com hey.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It'S Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Sargento cheese slices, best foods, mayonnaise, lay's party sized chips and snacks and Triscuits. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. Apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Daniel Tosh]

Paw show well thanks Paul. Now I'm told there is some rumblings in the community that are questioning the validity of his run. Something about him not releasing all of his geo tracker. I don't understand it. But I want you to know if he didn't run every step of the United States of America, I don't care.

[Eddie Gosling]

It's like you run one state, we're good. That seems fine.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, you run across, you pick a state.

[Eddie Gosling]

Maine.

[Daniel Tosh]

Fuck. You're going to run across Maine. There's so many bears and random things. That's impressive. Now you could run around anything. A track. I'm like whoa, you did a whole track? That's a quarter of a mile.

[Eddie Gosling]

Gotta respect.

[Daniel Tosh]

You run around Dutton's property, that's impressive.

[Eddie Gosling]

You speakin bout John Dutton?

[Daniel Tosh]

John. John fucking Dutton. Now there's, there's no distance that I won't be impressed with. My wife, we're going on a little trip and she's gonna be in a bathing suit and she goes oh I got a. I gotta get in shape. And I go we're leaving in two days. And she's like that's all it'll Take. I'm like. And I said. And I know this is wrong. I said, oh, that ship has sailed. Where you can get your body that you want in two days. That doesn't make any sense. And then she got mad at me, and then she just, like, took off and started running. She's like, not eating and she's just running constantly.

[Eddie Gosling]

Do you feel like you're motivating her?

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know. I don't care. She's not in the house. She's just toning up in two days. And then I go, then what are you gonna do? She goes, then you're just gonna eat like a monster while we're gone?

[Eddie Gosling]

She's like, yeah, I'm gonna do it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Good for you.

[Eddie Gosling]

We're toning up in four days.

[Daniel Tosh]

You got a four day tone up.

[Eddie Gosling]

Give me four days?

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. You're talking about. It's like seven minute abs.

[Eddie Gosling]

I'm gonna do it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Eddie's got seven minute abs. He can do it. Eddie's got world class calves. All right, what's our plugs? We got our tours. Eddie and I going on tour. We're seeing this great country and a lot of shows in America, too. Check out tossshowstore.com. get some cool merch that I will sign if I see in public. And you want me to sign it, but you got to take it off right there. Okay. And then you got to have a nice piece of sanded plywood that you put it on.

[Eddie Gosling]

Right. And probably a Sharpie.

[Daniel Tosh]

You definitely have to have a Sharpie. Not blue. I won't use blue.

[Eddie Gosling]

Right.

[Daniel Tosh]

Because blue is what the counterfeiters like to steal your name or something. I don't know. Somebody told me something once about that and I thought. I listened. How you doing, Carl? Should we tell people the horrible thing that happened the other day at the house?

[Eddie Gosling]

Oh, no.

[Daniel Tosh]

You guys want to hear this?

[Eddie Gosling]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. The other day, Carl and I are just doing what we do, going around the property, seeing if anything is out of order. Lo and behold, here comes potato, our beautiful 50 pound pig. And in his mouth, what was in his mouth, Carl, was a freshly killed rabbit. Wow. And like, it was. I was like, oh, he's been eating it. I don't know how he. I know he didn't kill it. It was either kill. Killed by some poison or something else or old age. Old age? I don't know. Do rabbits die of old age? I don't think they do live forever. No. I think. I think they automatically get eaten by a coyote or something. But anyway, so he's carrying this. This disgusting. You know, it's. It's a new kill. And he's running toward the house. And I'm like, oh. And I'm yelling at Amanda. I'm like, amanda, get the fucking rabbit out of his mouth. And she's grossed out, but she's like a farm girl.

[Eddie Gosling]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

You know, so she's trying to chase him and I'm like, get it out of his mouth. And it's just awful. I'm filming the whole thing. I got my camera out because I'm just laughing and I'm like, oh. Eventually I throw a rock at him. That's. That's what I had to do. I threw a rock and he dropped the fucking rabbit. I didn't hit him. I didn't hit him, but just. I threw a rock near him. He dropped the rabbit. And then she washed his mouth and stuff and.

[Eddie Gosling]

So gross, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's just. I'm living in filth. It's one thing if you leave these animals outside, but they sleep in my house every night just eating dead rabbits, running around, their carcass hanging from their body. That's disgusting. Anyway, now it's time for our free plug. Go ahead and hit the free plug music. Oh, that music would have paired nicely with my pig running around with a rabbit in his mouth. Sounds like that kind of music. Benny Hill. Shit. All right. This week's free plug is for Daniel's Western Meat Packers, Inc. Okay. Also known as Daniel's Meat. I saw this truck the other day and I took a photo of it because it just. Big, big truck in front of me just said Daniel's Meat. It's a family owned business. Since it began as a small butcher shop in Pico Rivera Daniels has grown into one of the largest purveyors of quality meat in Southern California. Their facility employs experienced butchers and nothing goes out the door without being tested by an in house safety and quality control management team. What are you talking. What are you. Test the meat. All right. Despite the name, Daniel's Meat, they don't just sell meat. They've got everything from Wagyu beef to poultry, seafood, lamb and world class assortment of cheeses.

[Eddie Gosling]

Okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

Daniel's Meat has cheese. These people are going to make a hell of a sandwich. They've been a wholesaler for decades, but are now also open to the public for pickups on Wednesday. Just Remember to order 24 hours in advance. The company that's small enough to know you, large enough to serve, you show up and they will slide Daniel's meat to you through a nondescript hole in a wall. Okay, they're not. That's a joke. Eddie wrote that. That's a joke. They're not shoving their meats through a hole in the wall.

[Eddie Gosling]

This is how I heal.

[Daniel Tosh]

For more information, check out their [e-mail] that's danielsmeat.com See you next week.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway, now through June 24. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Starbucks ground coffee, Red Bull energy drinks, Spam, Classic Planet Oat, Charmin bath tissue, Totino's pizza rolls, and Frito Lay chips. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Shop in store or online for easy drive up and go, pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Daniel Tosh]

Over the years of making my true crime podcast Hell and Gone, I've learned no town is too small for murder. I'm Katherine Townsend. I've heard from hundreds of people across the country with an unsolved murder in their community. I was calling about the murder of my husband.

[Paul]

The murderer is still out there.

[Daniel Tosh]

Each week I investigate a new case. If there is a case we should Hear about, call 678-744-6145. Listen to Helen Gone Murderline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. What happens when we come face to face with death?

[Paul]

My truck was blown up by a 20 pound anti tank mine.

[Daniel Tosh]

My parachute did not deploy. I was kidnapped by a drug cartel. When we stepped beyond the edge of what we know, I clinically died. The heart stopped beating, which I was dead for 11.5 minutes. In return, it's a miracle I was brought back Alive Again. A podcast about the strength of the human spirit. Listen to Alive Again on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen.

[Paul]

To your favorite shows.

[Daniel Tosh]

I think everything that might have dropped in 95 has been labeled the golden years of hip hop. It's black music month and we need the talk is tapping in. I'm N Simone breaking down lyrics, amplifying voices and digging into the culture that shapes the soundtrack of our lives. Like that's what's really important and that's what stands out, is that our music changes people's lives for the better. Let's talk about the music that moves us to hear this and more on how music and culture collide listen to we need to Talk from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an iHeart podcast.