My Favorite NFL Player Turned Chef - Derrell Smith

Summary

Tosh Show Episode Summary

Title: My Favorite NFL Player Turned Chef - Derrell Smith
Host: Daniel Tosh
Guest: Derrell Smith (Chef Darrell, Uncle Rel, Relly Crocker)
Release Date: November 26, 2024

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1. Introduction of Derrell Smith

In this engaging episode of the Tosh Show, host Daniel Tosh welcomes Derrell Smith, a multifaceted individual whose impressive resume spans being an NFL player, executive producer, cooking show host, and entrepreneur. Derrell’s unique journey from the gridiron to the culinary world offers listeners a captivating glimpse into his diverse talents and passions.

Notable Quote:
Daniel Tosh [10:15]: "My guest today is one of those guys who's annoyingly good at everything he tries."

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2. Early Life and Overcoming Adversity

Derrell shares his formative years growing up in Philadelphia, where he faced challenges, including an incident where he was jumped at school. This traumatic experience, where his Pokemon card binder was stolen after defending himself, highlights his resilience and determination from a young age.

Notable Quote:
Derrell Smith [11:17]: "Our school was K through 12. So he K through 12 is a horrible idea."

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3. Football Career Highlights

Derrell delves into his athletic journey, emphasizing his high school prowess as a running back in Delaware. His dedication earned him the Gatorade Player of the Year title and a full scholarship to Syracuse University. Although his NFL career was brief, primarily on practice squads like the Bucs and Houston, he reflects on the physical demands and the brutal nature of professional football.

Notable Quote:
Derrell Smith [14:07]: "I wasn't scared to get hit. And once I got hit the first time, I liked it. So I just kept getting better and better."

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4. Transition to the Culinary World

After retiring from football and obtaining a master's degree in advertising from Syracuse, Derrell discovered his passion for cooking. Inspired by his Italian girlfriend’s meatballs, he began experimenting in the kitchen, eventually winning a meatball competition while working at the 360i agency in New York City. This success led him to establish his own company, Amazing Balls, and participate in food festivals like Smorgasburg.

Notable Quote:
Derrell Smith [27:05]: "I became obsessed with meatballs. Over time, I practiced so much, and I got so good at it that I would just bring it into my coworkers. I knew it was good."

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5. Building a Culinary Brand

Derrell discusses his journey into the business side of cooking, from operating pop-up stalls to managing a full-fledged culinary show. His involvement with Tastemade and eventual move to Los Angeles were pivotal in expanding his reach, allowing him to produce content that showcases his authentic personality rather than adhering to traditional cooking show formats.

Notable Quote:
Derrell Smith [33:36]: "I would rather just give you my real personality versus giving you the standard cooking show template. Tell it how it is."

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6. Thanksgiving Traditions and Football

The conversation shifts to Thanksgiving, where both Daniel and Derrell express their enthusiasm for the holiday’s football traditions and food. Derrell shares his unique Thanksgiving cooking methods, such as brining turkeys and perfecting his meatball recipes, while also humorously critiquing common side dishes like marshmallow-topped sweet potato casseroles.

Notable Quote:
Derrell Smith [35:02]: "I like to have some music on at all times. And then I'll mute the football out of respect for the family."

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7. Personal Anecdotes and Culinary Adventures

Derrell recounts memorable experiences, including catering a burlesque party at the Chelsea Hotel, where his distinctive approach to food won over an eclectic crowd. These stories underscore his belief in the universal language of food and its ability to bridge diverse communities.

Notable Quote:
Derrell Smith [38:31]: "But the cool thing about food is, once before I got into it, you wouldn't know these little worlds exist. But at the end of the day, everybody gotta eat. And it's cool to be able to serve."

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8. Reflections on Post-NFL Life and Future Aspirations

Derrell reflects on life after football, emphasizing the support provided by the NFL Players Association (NFLPA) and his continued passion for sports through activities like cycling and supporting college football. He also touches on his aspirations, including hosting a triathlon and his desire to mentor future generations.

Notable Quote:
Derrell Smith [46:29]: "I'm built like a baseball player. I look like Stanton. We have the same build."

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9. Parenting and Personal Life

Towards the episode’s end, Derrell offers candid insights into parenting, advocating for embracing the challenges that come with raising children. His humorous take on fatherhood and balancing personal life with professional endeavors adds a relatable dimension to his persona.

Notable Quote:
Derrell Smith [48:18]: "Cause she's gonna be a bitch. Her innards are changing."

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10. Closing Remarks

Daniel Tosh wraps up the episode by expressing gratitude for Derrell’s participation and highlighting upcoming events like the Malibu Chili Cook Off. The episode concludes with light-hearted banter and final thoughts on Thanksgiving traditions.

Notable Quote:
Daniel Tosh [49:32]: "I hope he wins that cook off next year. Then I'll take some ownership in it."

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Conclusion

This episode of Tosh Show masterfully intertwines Derrell Smith’s journey from an NFL athlete to a celebrated chef, offering listeners an inspiring narrative filled with personal anecdotes, professional insights, and heartfelt reflections. Derrell’s authenticity and diverse experiences make for a compelling conversation that resonates with anyone navigating career transitions and personal growth.

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Note: Timestamps are indicative and based on the provided transcript. Not all sections may have exact timestamps due to overlapping content.

Transcript

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[Daniel Tosh]

No. Okay.

[Eddie]

What is a.

[Daniel Tosh]

Go ahead?

[Eddie]

Don't take this offensively.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm gonna take it offensively. Ask me about white people Thanksgiving.

[Eddie]

What is that like.

[Daniel Tosh]

Posh show. Posh show, Tosh show. Posh show. If there's product in my hair, it must be Tuesday. Toshow. Eddie.

[Chef Darrell]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

Guess what?

[Chef Darrell]

What?

[Daniel Tosh]

Thanksgiving. Right around the corner. Hit me with a gobble, gobble. You went. You went authentic. Oh, gee, that turkey sounds good. Are you excited for this Thanksgiving?

[Chef Darrell]

I am excited. I love Thanksgiving.

[Daniel Tosh]

We're sharing it together. We are. Oh, our families are going to be together.

[Eddie]

We're going to. Yeah.

[Chef Darrell]

Be thankful.

[Daniel Tosh]

We're going to watch a lot of football.

[Chef Darrell]

We're going to watch all. Nothing but football.

[Daniel Tosh]

Bears. Lions. Now, Detroit has been playing on Thanksgiving Day since. Are you ready for this? 1934. There were only two teams back then.

[Chef Darrell]

Wow.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know who the other team was, but Detroit was losing on Thanksgiving Day. That was the tradition. For 90 years, they've lost every single game by double digits. Well, this year is going to be different. They're going to destroy the Bears. They are on their way to the super bowl now. They won't get to the super bowl this year. They'll probably lose in the first or second round. They won't lose in the first round because they'll probably have a buy. But that's good. Yeah, they'll make it to week two of the playoffs and the town will be like, yeah, that's good enough, Motor City. Let's build a car.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right. The next game is the Giants and Cowboys. These are two bottom feeders in the NFC East. They have fallen. Cowboys are unwatchable at home, just unwatchable. And the Giants, they got rid of Saquon Barkley for Daniel Jones, who's now a third stringer. Congratulations, general manager. Way to really eyeball talent. Now the final game, the entree of Thanksgiving, the reason that we slaughtered the indigenous people. The Dolphins versus the Packers.

[Chef Darrell]

There it is.

[Daniel Tosh]

Here it is. Give thanks and ye shall be thanked upon.

[Chef Darrell]

Yeah, I like getting thanked upon.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, the Dolphins go up to Green Bay, probably the most depressing city in America past October 31st in the overhead shots. Try to paint it as a cute, quaint town, but it is fucking horrible. Thank goodness it's at night, so the Dolphin players won't be super depressed when they see the nothingness that is the Green Bay area now. You know that team is owned by the fans, right? And that's incredible. I just wish the fans would move and then bring the team with them and we could have the Montecito Packers. That would be fun. I wonder how many people have to move from the city of Green Bay to bring the team with them. What if it's just four or five influential families?

[Chef Darrell]

Right.

[Daniel Tosh]

You know what? We're thinking of getting a timeshare down in Baja. Could we move the packers to San Jose del Cabo? That would be delightful.

[Chef Darrell]

Right?

[Daniel Tosh]

No players are going to complain about doing some sweet deep sea fishing, you know, and then getting to play a football game against the packers down there in San Jose del Cabo. The point is, I need to get the Green Bay packers out of Green Bay. For a while there, they were like, you know, two games a year in Milwaukee. That was always silly. Where would I want the Green Bay packers to move?

[Chef Darrell]

I mean, does it have to be near a bay?

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, it probably does need to be near bay. It's not going to Oakland.

[Eddie]

Maine.

[Daniel Tosh]

Maine. That's a good idea. Bring them over to Bar Harbor.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

There you Go the Bar Harbor Packers.

[Chef Darrell]

That sounds great.

[Daniel Tosh]

Bring them to Maine. Maine is so much more fun to visit than Green Bay. Now. Appleton, Wisconsin, don't get me started. Love it. Oshkosh. Love it. Madison. Heaven on earth. Milwaukee. I'll be honest with you, I enjoy it. But Green Bay? Oh, depressing. Here's the thing. When you're in Green Bay and you're like, wow, this couldn't get any worse, realize there's a whole country above you. By the way, Thanksgiving, it's probably, you know, one of the worst holidays. But the food. What's your favorite piece of food that day, Eddie?

[Chef Darrell]

I think I like stuffing.

[Daniel Tosh]

The stuffing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Ah.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm. I'm in your wheelhouse. Mine is the rolls.

[Chef Darrell]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

I just like the roll. If the rolls aren't good, I'm furious at the meal. And they. They need to be plentiful. I need at least four rolls to get me through a fucking horrible Thanksgiving meal. And you know where we're gonna be, Eddie? We're gonna be in the beautiful state of Hawaii.

[Chef Darrell]

Right?

[Daniel Tosh]

We're gonna be in Maui. The rolls that I want, I want the local rolls. I want the King's Hawaiian.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, it's so soft, those King's Hawaiian. If you get the round loaf, that'll make you the best French toast you've ever had. By the way, if you're gonna do the wishbone, you break the wishbone.

[Chef Darrell]

I do.

[Daniel Tosh]

By yourself?

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Chef Darrell]

Just go that way, win either way.

[Daniel Tosh]

Good point. Now, me, I got a little strategy with wishbone. You gotta grab up real high. You know, you see the other person pinching the bottom of it, and that's like a sucker. Another thing I'm going to say about Thanksgiving, the sweet potato casserole. If you put marshmallows on it, you might as well sit at the children's table because that's fucking clown food. Nobody wants that. All right, let's get into the show. Today's guest knows everything about football and Thanksgiving dinner. Enjoy the flavor, the tradition, and the.

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[Daniel Tosh]

Paw Show My guest today is one of those guys who's annoyingly good at everything he tries. His resume includes NFL player, executive producer, cooking show host and founder of his own company. Please welcome Chef Darrell, AKA Uncle Rel, AKA Relly Crocker.

[Eddie]

I love that intro. I'm going to steal that.

[Daniel Tosh]

How are you?

[Eddie]

I'm good. How about yourself?

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm well, thank you. How many people call you Relly Crocker?

[Eddie]

A couple. They only know me from Instagram. Not many.

[Daniel Tosh]

First question Darrell okay. Do you believe in ghosts?

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Daniel Tosh]

You ever seen a ghost?

[Eddie]

I felt ghosts. I haven't seen one before.

[Daniel Tosh]

Have you always believed in ghosts or did something happen and you're like now? I believe.

[Eddie]

I think gradually over time you hear the rumors as a child, but then as you grow older, you start to feel them and you're like, we're not alone. Can't be.

[Daniel Tosh]

I believe we're alone.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're originally from Philly?

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Daniel Tosh]

You were jumped? Yep. So I much like the Fresh Prince.

[Eddie]

Just like the Fresh Prince, I actually grew up in Overbrook, where he's from as well. And I went to a school called Lamerton. And one day at lunch, we had this big mound of snow, and we had a snowball fight, and I hit this kid in the face with a snowball. And he was a part of this gang. Our school was K through 12.

[Daniel Tosh]

So he K through 12 is a horrible idea.

[Eddie]

Absolutely. I agree with that. And this kid, he was part of this gang. Hit him in the face. A couple weeks later, he's like, man, we fighting. I was like, all right, bet. So we went to this place called the News Nook, which is across the street from the library near Lamberton. And he was there with all his gang. And everybody's in a circle, and me and him one on one, and I whooped his ass.

[Daniel Tosh]

And then all of a sudden, nobody jumped in.

[Eddie]

Nobody jumped in for a couple minutes.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Eddie]

And then they felt bad for him, I guess. And they came out of everywhere. First, somebody hit me in the back of the head. Then somebody came from this way. Somebody came from this way then. And they stole my book bag with Pokemon cards in it.

[Daniel Tosh]

How many Pokemon cards?

[Eddie]

That book, like, a binder of Pokemon cards.

[Daniel Tosh]

I just went to get some Pokemon cards for my kid the other day, literally. And they're like, oh, we don't sell small packs. We just have this big pack, and it's $80. And I'm like, that is insane. I said, no, thank you. I'm not spending $80 on my kid.

[Eddie]

That's crazy.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right, wait, wait. What grade were you in during this jump this year?

[Eddie]

Seventh grade, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

And what grade was he?

[Eddie]

We were all in seventh grade.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, he was in seventh grade, too.

[Eddie]

Well, the bigger gang was in 11th grade, so the young gang was seventh grade. We were all seventh graders. The big gang was 11th grade. I remember my sister was trying to jump in the fight. She had to be around, like, six, seven at that time. And my friends are holding back my young sister. Long story short, my parents sued. So we got money for those Pokemon cards. Hopefully at least $80 for the Pokemon cards I had.

[Daniel Tosh]

Fighting's never been my thing. I've always been like, if in school as a child, there was a K that I could tell he wanted to fight and would instigate with me. And you always hear of like, kind of tougher parents saying, oh, don't back down. I had parents that are like, yeah, you can back down. Just who cares if you don't want to do it? Just like, you don't deserve yourself. Don't want to get in trouble, Just walk away, it's okay. And I did. I always was like, hey, I'm not going to fight.

[Eddie]

That's admirable.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, it might be. I felt like a pussy quite a bit, but, you know, there's worse things than it worked out. And then they moved you to Delaware.

[Eddie]

Delaware.

[Daniel Tosh]

What was life like in Delaware when you first moved there? Were you like, oh, this is different.

[Eddie]

Delaware is different. It's interesting because in Philadelphia, it's very segregated, so you got black community, you got white community, you got rich folks, non rich folks. Whereas in Delaware, everybody's forced to be together. And it's beautiful. Like, it's a cool place. It's a lot of farmland, no taxes, so everything's cheap. Gas is super cheap.

[Daniel Tosh]

I know nothing about Delaware, really. Although I did date one girl from Delaware. She's. Oh, my goodness. Now that I think about her.

[Eddie]

Was she a farmer?

[Daniel Tosh]

No.

[Eddie]

And she was from Delaware. No.

[Daniel Tosh]

But she had cystic fibrosis.

[Eddie]

Oh, okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

That was bad.

[Eddie]

Okay, I got you.

[Daniel Tosh]

Anyway, good times. We met in Philly, anyway. All right. You were a star athlete in high school.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

When did that start? When did you feel like, oh, I'm different. I'm better than the rest of these kids that I'm playing with at birth.

[Eddie]

So my biological father played football at Cheney. I remember as a kid, we would play catch, and every time I drop the ball, he'd make me do five pushups. And around seven years old, my stepfather came into my life and he put me in organized football. And once I got in organized football, I wasn't scared to get hit. And when you play football, once you get hit that first time, either you say, I like this or I don't like this, and I liked it. And so after that, you just keep getting better and better. And by the time I got to high school, I was salivating at the mouth.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're running back all through high school?

[Eddie]

Only in high school. Actually, growing up, I was a center. And once I got to high school, never carried the ball in my life. My coach was like, man, we gonna turn you into a running back. And by my senior year, I was the number one ranked player in the state. I was Gatorade player of the year. Got a full scholarship to Syracuse, but.

[Daniel Tosh]

That Was Delaware, right?

[Eddie]

Delaware. It ain't Florida, but if I would have been in Florida, I would have got Gatorade. Player of the year, too.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right.

[Eddie]

Did you play? You played sports? No, No. I could see you as a kicker or even a wide receiver.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, I think a wide receiver, that would have been nicer to lead with that. No. Extremely athletic, but didn't play football.

[Eddie]

And you're tall, too.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

Punters are tall.

[Daniel Tosh]

Fuck punters.

[Eddie]

Nah, punters are dogs.

[Daniel Tosh]

Don't care.

[Eddie]

Oh, fair enough.

[Daniel Tosh]

Football's not my thing. Love it. Love watching it. No desire to play it. You know what killed me with team sports? I always liked individual sports. I hated listening to coaches give me the rah rah thing. I'm like, yeah, I get it. We need to have more points at the end of the game. Is that the objective? Coach got it. So I never enjoyed losing because of knuckleheads.

[Eddie]

Fair enough.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, I hated it.

[Eddie]

Were you a swimmer?

[Daniel Tosh]

I did surfing.

[Eddie]

Okay. Okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

I competed there a little bit for a while. I like, you know, all those things. I like tennis.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Now, granted, I live for watching football.

[Eddie]

Who's your team?

[Daniel Tosh]

The Dolphins.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

You think TUA should have walked?

[Eddie]

Hell, yeah. That's not something to play with. Too young. I'm 36. I'm pretty sure once I get to, like, 45, my body will hurt even more. And I didn't play long in the NFL. Right. When that adrenaline is flowing and you feel invincible. When you're young, it's all fine and dandy, but when the OGs tell you how they feel, you see people who retire from the NFL walking with canes or compression sleeves on their knees or wonky and, like, gotta eat their food blended. That's a different experience. Man, you gotta listen.

[Daniel Tosh]

Syracuse, is it considered prestigious amongst safety schools?

[Eddie]

Among safety schools. What does that mean?

[Daniel Tosh]

It's throwing shade.

[Eddie]

I would say now that I live in la, I would say Syracuse is the USC of the east, like a private school in the middle of the ghetto. But the only difference is our students don't stay in Syracuse. Whereas USC students probably stay in la. Our students just go back to New York City. But in terms of prestigiousness, Syracuse is our network is ridiculous.

[Daniel Tosh]

Now, did you know Pete Relyea? You were a freshman at Syracuse when he was a senior. He works on this show.

[Eddie]

Oh, really? No, I didn't know him.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, man. He was a big man on campus.

[Eddie]

What's up, Pete?

[Daniel Tosh]

I love that, by the way. What was it like being a star athlete at a Division 1 school. Were you just swimming in women? Yeah. Did you cook a lot in your kitchen on South Campus?

[Eddie]

Yes, I would actually cook for my teammates. I remember it was one time we cook for some lady friends that came over. I'd never.

[Daniel Tosh]

Fried chicken, it's a mess.

[Eddie]

It's a mess. But if you put the heat too high, it'll give the illusion that it's done when it's not.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, no.

[Eddie]

So this kick, this chicken I fried, it came out perfect. Golden brown. And when they went to bite into.

[Daniel Tosh]

It, everybody got salmonella?

[Eddie]

Possibly.

[Daniel Tosh]

You ever shit yourself as an adult?

[Eddie]

As an adult, I've never shit myself. But I remember when I was in school, one time I went to wipe and a little got on my finger and it got on my shirt and I had to go back to class.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, man.

[Eddie]

And I had to, like, take off my shirt and like, wash it, put it under the dryer.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's no good. That's no good at all. I mean, how. How old was this?

[Eddie]

I was probably about like 21, 22.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh. Oh, geez. Okay. All right.

[Eddie]

It's embarrassing.

[Daniel Tosh]

You made it to the NFL, by the way, your first year that you didn't get drafted, but you made it to a team and you were the Bucks.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

Practice squad.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's the practice squad make?

[Eddie]

Not much. They make probably make like 9,000 every two weeks back then. That's actually good money.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's great money, but it's not life changing. You never have to work again money, obviously. Nine thousand for two, Is that just during the season?

[Eddie]

During the season? You don't get paid in the off season.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Eddie]

But I went to school in the off season, so I was okay. And then I went back to Syracuse, finished up my masters during the off seasons, and then I would just fly back to. By my second year, I was with Houston, so I flew back to Houston, played on the team, and then off season, would just go back to school, finish up.

[Daniel Tosh]

What was your playing weight with the Bucs?

[Eddie]

I was in a 4:3, so I was about 230. The linebackers are super small there.

[Daniel Tosh]

And your weight today?

[Eddie]

About 240. Less muscle.

[Daniel Tosh]

You want to not have that cane at 50?

[Eddie]

Well, I ride a bike now.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Eddie]

So I ride a bike a lot. I had two knee surgeries in college. The way I ended my career is in practice. I compressed one of my vertebraes, put my neck down when I hit somebody, and compressed the vertebrae. So that still is painful. But like this morning I did some yoga.

[Daniel Tosh]

If I could right now, snap My fingers and get you to the weight that you wanted to be. What would it be?

[Eddie]

This one. I look good.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, you look good, but 240 is still a lot of weight to carry around. Yeah, on the knees, especially new knees. Well, I'm big boned, so that's not a thing.

[Eddie]

If you see my lady, her bones are like this big. Like her arms, like you can look at her arms.

[Daniel Tosh]

I showed you your skeleton. I'm going to let you know it's not different.

[Eddie]

Is it the same?

[Daniel Tosh]

Yes, it's the same.

[Eddie]

I don't believe that. I would have to see this. I would have to see this. I feel my bone. That's a bone. That's a big ass arm. That bone is big in there.

[Daniel Tosh]

I know it's big.

[Eddie]

You're telling me your bone is the same size as my bones?

[Daniel Tosh]

Probably.

[Eddie]

Really?

[Daniel Tosh]

Am I wrong?

[Eddie]

I'm looking at any scientist.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's not that different.

[Chef Darrell]

I'm seeing big boned is a thing.

[Daniel Tosh]

Big bone is a thing.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Chef Darrell]

So it's not a medical term, but it's, it's such a thing. People have bigger bones sometimes people have bigger bones.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, but is it like drastically bigger? Whatever.

[Eddie]

If you see my lady in me, my bones are much bigger.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, well that's male, female, maybe it's. I'm maybe male to male.

[Eddie]

Maybe milk, maybe.

[Daniel Tosh]

How brutal is the NFL? Describe what it feels like when you're just going against another top athlete, just collisions. What does that feel like?

[Eddie]

NFL is brutal, but everybody there is prepared for that. The NFL is the best professionals in the world. And so a hit, it's a hit, but it's a perfect form hit. And everybody practices perfect form. They practice coming in, being in the right position. And so it's not necessarily painful. Yes, yes, it is painful because just by nature a hit is painful. But as a professional, you know how to do it the right way. You know how to take a hit the right way. And it's not as bad as it sometimes looks or seems. It's just the fact that everybody is so good and so big, the injuries happen. Like those things will just happen because that's the nature of the game. But most of the time you practice the right form, right things. So it's not as bad as it seems.

[Daniel Tosh]

That seems scary, man. It seems fast. Seems fast.

[Eddie]

Very fast.

[Daniel Tosh]

Are you still quick?

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah. I'm an athlete at heart. I feel like.

[Daniel Tosh]

You feel like if you get out there right now, you feel like you'd be good for a game?

[Eddie]

Hell no. No Hell, no. Not even one play. Because those are elite athletes.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. Respect.

[Eddie]

I'm not an elite athlete. But I'll say this. If you and me were to race, there's the athlete in me would make sure that I. Unless you super fast, and I'm pretty quick. You are.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. Yeah. I raced the fastest Paralympian with no legs. I smoked him.

[Eddie]

That was nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

But I raced him with his blades in the sand.

[Eddie]

That's hilarious.

[Daniel Tosh]

So he didn't stand a chance.

[Eddie]

He didn't stand a chance.

[Daniel Tosh]

He thought he could.

[Eddie]

Well, that's a strategy, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

Listen, I didn't pick. I did pick the place. My mother, her whole life, she's always told me, she's like, I could be a running back. She's like, I just have the ability to get out of the way.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

To this day, this woman's like 80 years old and she's like, I can still. I know I could do it.

[Eddie]

I'll tell you this. If I was a linebacker and I saw your mom, I would light up.

[Daniel Tosh]

Light her up.

[Eddie]

Oh, my gosh. I would tear her ass up in the hole. Come through the A gap. I'm a killer.

[Daniel Tosh]

I can't believe tearing my mom's ass up.

[Eddie]

Tear it up, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

When your career ends in the NFL and you're not a star player, how do they take care of role players or people that had a small role on the team post the NFL? Is it nothing? It's like, all right, see ya.

[Eddie]

NFL players union does a good job because anybody who makes it to the NFL, that's not. That's hard to do. It's not easy. I don't care if you're practice squad or whatever level you're at. NFLPA does a good job of protecting anybody who makes it to the NFL. So now, for instance, I get 50% off Cole Haan shoes because I'm a part of the NFL. I know, right? Sounds a comfortable.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's a very comfortable shoe.

[Eddie]

Absolutely. So, like, things like that, man, you still get discounts. They still. There are, like, insurance plans that you can get through the nflpa. And so I'll say that the nflpa, they do a really good job of taking care of everybody who makes it to the NFL. NFL, I don't know. Like, that's a different entity. And once you're out of the league, I don't think that's their problem anymore.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you like football now?

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah. I like watching college football more than NFL. I'll actually be in Syracuse this weekend.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Eddie]

I like Being on the sideline, the energy of a stadium is like none other. And at Syracuse is cool because we have probably one of the loudest stadiums in the country. We have a dome. And being on the sideline of a game, I still love it. Still love it.

[Daniel Tosh]

So who's your favorite pro team?

[Eddie]

Eagles. Die Hard.

[Daniel Tosh]

Die Hard Eagles. So is Eddie. Oh.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, sing it, Eddie.

[Eddie]

E, A, G, L, E, S. Sly Eagles.

[Daniel Tosh]

I said sing it. And then he just does this weird Eagles stuff. All right. You know, I always liked Barry Sanders. When he was interviewed when I was a kid, they're like, do you ever watch football? He's like, nope. And he's like, you ever seen the Super Bowl? He's like, nope. He, like, wasn't into football.

[Eddie]

Some people would like that.

[Daniel Tosh]

But he made it to the top of the profession and was like, listen, I'm great at this. It's given me a wonderful life, and I respect that. But, I mean, the two don't have to go hand in hand. You don't have to love what you're great at.

[Eddie]

Yep. You know what's wild? I'm a chef now, right. And I love food. I love to cook food, but I don't eat out a lot. Like, I don't necessarily go to a bunch of restaurants. I appreciate really good food.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, but you can make good food, so why go out?

[Eddie]

But that's. That's the same as I go out.

[Daniel Tosh]

Because I can't make good food.

[Eddie]

But that's the same as Barry Sanders.

[Botox Voiceover]

Like, he.

[Eddie]

Of course he could. He could make good plays, but he doesn't necessarily watch good plays. It's more so to him, I would say, in relation to it. Food for me is a feeling. It's not something where it's a obsession. Like, I'm not obsessed with it, but I'm good at it. It kind of spews out of me the same way Barry Sanders played football is kind of the same way that I kind of do food now. And so I could. I could. I could appreciate his stance on not watching the game but still being great at it.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, to make it to the top and then walk away. I think you did pretty good.

[Eddie]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Talk to me about. After you finished football, you had finished getting your masters at Syracuse, and then you went to work for a bunch of agencies throughout the.

[Eddie]

Yep. So I worked in advertising. I have a master's degree in advertising. After college, went to Boulder, Colorado, worked as an intern in production, and then I moved to New York City.

[Daniel Tosh]

Talk about the women in Boulder, Colorado.

[Eddie]

Hairy.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh.

[Eddie]

Yep. But. But kind. Hairy. Kind and.

[Daniel Tosh]

But kind.

[Eddie]

And shoeless.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

How'd you get into meatballs?

[Eddie]

One day after class, I made a really good recipe out of the air. Had everything in the fridge. I remember making it and calling my best friend, like, yo, come over. We got a winner, man. And. But at the time, I had an Italian girlfriend.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Eddie]

One time, her Meemaw made meatballs for New Year's, which was, like, a special time. Like, she never made meatballs. She would only make them for, like, special occasions.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Eddie]

And they were like, yo, meemaw made meatballs. And everybody was, like, super hyped about it. And I remember eating this meatball, and I was like, I didn't know meatballs could taste this way. Like, mine were good. When I tried it, the sauce was really the driver. But when I tasted that meatball, I knew the potential of a meatball. And after that, I just, like, I became obsessed with meatballs. And over time, I practiced it so much, and I got so good at it that I would just. I would bring it into my coworkers. I knew it was good.

[Daniel Tosh]

Where were you working at the time?

[Eddie]

I was in New York City at an agency called 360i, and my boss, there was a competition coming up, meatball competition coming up. And she was like, yo, these meatballs you bring in, you should enter them in this competition. And I did, and I won. And I.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's pretty great.

[Eddie]

Started the company and also bought you a little gift. We started the maze balls based on the. It's for the fridge. That's Grandma.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's your. That's your grandma?

[Eddie]

That is. It's based on the women in my family. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Eddie]

So the idea is that whenever you eat my food, it makes you feel as though Grandma made it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Maze balls.

[Eddie]

It matches the colors.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'll be honest with you. I don't have a fridge. It's cladded in the wood the same as the cabinets.

[Eddie]

Oh, that's cool.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Eddie]

I believe it. That's cool.

[Daniel Tosh]

Thank you very much.

[Eddie]

You're very welcome, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right. No one in here ever brings anything in other than a receipt to be, like, reimbursed.

[Eddie]

That's hilarious.

[Daniel Tosh]

So how did you transition from making these people enjoying it, winning a con, or was winning the contest where you're like, okay, I can make this my full time job Being a chef?

[Eddie]

Not necessarily. When I won the competition, I still had a job.

[Daniel Tosh]

Right.

[Eddie]

But I knew that if these people liked it all we need is more people to taste it and more people would like it.

[Daniel Tosh]

You did a pop up while you were still working and we're pumping out thousands.

[Eddie]

Thousands, yeah. So I worked at. I worked in advertising, but then on the weekends there was something called Smorgasburg. Have you heard of it?

[Daniel Tosh]

I've heard of it.

[Eddie]

So Smorgasburg LA versus Smorgasburg, Brooklyn. Two totally different experiences. At that time, I would say it was probably harder to get into Smorgasburg than it was to get into Harvard. Like, this thing was very competitive. 10,000 people per day, every single weekend. And meanwhile, when I started making meatballs, I'd only made meatballs for maybe like 10 people. Here we are, like, making meatballs for thousands of people every weekend.

[Daniel Tosh]

How many people did you have to help you?

[Eddie]

2. I had my girlfriend at the time, and then my sister would come up from Delaware and help me roll meatballs. And I had four roommates.

[Daniel Tosh]

You always had your back?

[Eddie]

Always had my back since 6 years.

[Daniel Tosh]

Old, trying to jump and scrap.

[Eddie]

Always back, man. Shout out to my sister, Deshante, did.

[Daniel Tosh]

You have the oven space for this?

[Eddie]

No. But you. I mean, if you really want something, you make it work.

[Daniel Tosh]

I know. I just. I always just appreciate people with that type of drive. Yeah, I mean, I guess I had drive at some point in my life. I just don't remember.

[Eddie]

I grew up watching Tosh0.

[Daniel Tosh]

I remember that show.

[Eddie]

Right. Like, as an artist, whatever your form of art is, or whatever your form of expression is, you figure out ways to just like, to do it. I don't know if before Tao, I don't know if you were getting like big ass checks, but it was probably days where you were like, poor or like, damn, I don't know how I'm gonna pay rent, but fuck it, I'm still gonna put out this piece of art because people want it. And it's a form of expression that I have to get out. I can't explain why I have to get it out, but I have to get it out. And for me, I feel as though meatballs was that thing. It sounds crazy, but I knew I was really good at it. And I knew from this competition I was the best at it, at least in my region. And so I did what I had to do. And now I could look back at it and say, like, that was crazy. Like, I would never do it again now. But in the moment when you have to do something, that was what it was. I had to get my food out to the masses and we did some crazy shit to get to it, but I did it.

[Daniel Tosh]

You ever had ikea's meatballs?

[Eddie]

They're tasty.

[Daniel Tosh]

Are they good?

[Eddie]

They are.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'll be honest. I know about them just because of pop culture, but I don't know if I've ever had Ikea's meatballs.

[Eddie]

They're good with the mashed potatoes, gravy, and I think it's lindenberry. That shit is delicious. And they're like a dollar for like 20. They're tasty, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

What are they doing over there at ikea? Are your meatballs in stores?

[Eddie]

No, not yet.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. Is that a plan, potentially in the future, you'd be okay with that? Oh, yeah. You're not like, no, I want to do it this whatever version. Smaller? No. So how'd you land a cooking show on Tastemade? Again, your career is fascinating.

[Eddie]

After Meatballs Smorgasburg, I was let go from that job, so they made it easy to do it full time. That was April 2017, and Bed Bath beyond in Sunset park because they had opened up a studio kitchen, first of its kind in America, and their resident chef had retired before that. They had me come in, do a demonstration to demo the meatballs. They liked it. They liked my personality. And so they bought me back to take over his job as resident chef at Bed Bath Beyond, Sunset Park.

[Daniel Tosh]

This is not like. Not every Bed Bath and Beyond has this.

[Eddie]

There's only one.

[Daniel Tosh]

Only one.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

There's like a full working kitchen. You can come in and just see somebody, and they're filming this. They have cameras. They have everything.

[Eddie]

Whole, whole audience, live audience. And I would cook the food and they would film it, and I own the content. A friend of mine who was at Tastemade saw it, passed it on to their team. They reached out to me, came out here, did some content with them. And then over the years, we just kept building a relationship. 2020 hit. Everything shut down. By this time. Amazeballs, which is the company. We were in Smorgasburg again. Got back into Smorgasburg. We had a licensing deal with Levy Restaurants at Barclays center, and we were also doing corporate catering at offices around in City. And so I was like, move to la? Why not? I want to get out of Brooklyn. It's tight here. Everything shut down. When I moved to la, I had a shoot with Tastemade during lunch. They were like, yo, we want to offer you a TV show. I was like, all right, cool. I like that. And so we came up with the show, shot it a few months later. And then season two came, season three came. We just.

[Daniel Tosh]

How about the producers? Did they understand what they were doing with you? You would go off the rails?

[Eddie]

Oh, absolutely.

[Daniel Tosh]

And they didn't really know how to capture that. Is that fair?

[Eddie]

Kind of. I would say it's like, show that I have was kind of like this. Like, you're prepared, right? You have notes, but along the way, you just kind of, like, riffed off and you freestyle.

[Daniel Tosh]

We started talking about fucking getting shit on our fingers.

[Eddie]

Exactly. But with the show, it's the same thing. Like, they give you kind of a guardrail, but then once you get into the moment, like, a different character comes out, I don't know what it is. Like, anybody who goes on film, like, whatever your. Your caricature, like the big personality, big whatever, that's what comes out on camera. And I really can't control it. And so we would just be in the film room, and whatever came to mind, I would just say it. And sometimes they keep it. Sometimes they take it out.

[Daniel Tosh]

But did you have to fight for stuff?

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah. By my second season, I got an executive producer credit, so I was able to kind of come in and be like, nah, let's keep that.

[Daniel Tosh]

Your catch phrases were unlike anything I've ever heard on a cooking program. It included, my God, I'm gonna tear your ass up.

[Eddie]

Ow.

[Daniel Tosh]

And that's the stuff.

[Eddie]

That's it, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

You can't have a catchphrase. I'm gonna tear your ass up.

[Eddie]

That ass up, man. It's instinctual, too.

[Daniel Tosh]

I love it.

[Eddie]

Most of the time, you eat, you wanna say it, but you never hear people on TV say those stuff. Most of the time, you see a.

[Daniel Tosh]

Cooking show like, hi, y'all, we're here.

[Eddie]

To make some cornbread. But in my TV show, like, I'd rather just give you my real personality versus giving you the standard cooking show template. Tell it how it is.

[Daniel Tosh]

Tear. That's up. You find Thanksgiving stressful? No, you cook. Sometimes you have, like, a special way. You do the turkey or.

[Eddie]

No, I brine my turkeys. And then I do low and slow. And then the final hour, I'll put a little salt on the crust, on the skin to crisp it up, turn up the heat, and then you come on nice and brown.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't do any of it crispy. That sounds good. Yeah, that sounds good. I like a traditional Thanksgiving meal, but have no desire to do it.

[Eddie]

What is a.

[Daniel Tosh]

Go ahead, sir.

[Eddie]

Don't take this offensively.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm gonna take it offensively. Ask me about White people Thanksgiving.

[Eddie]

What is that? Like, do you have like candy yams or is it pumpkin?

[Daniel Tosh]

I fucking hate pumpkin. Almost of any kind.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't even like pumpkin pie. I think it's disgusting. Same. No, all the tradition, you know, the green bean casserole with the fried onions on top, the cream of mushroom soup inside of it, the mashed potatoes and gravy, the yams, all of stuff. The sweet potatoes. We'll do all that. Get a little individual crock pot of the sweet potatoes. I like that. If the chef is whipping something like that up.

[Eddie]

What about music? Do y'all play, like, certain. Do you have like a playlist for Thanksgiving?

[Daniel Tosh]

No, not a playlist, but I like to have some music on at all times. And then I'll. Out of respect for the family, I will mute the football.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah, same. When we eat, my mom makes us mute the football, which is. But luckily, like, where we sit, you can kind of still see the game. But. Yeah, that's saving miles.

[Daniel Tosh]

We mute the football now. Look at that. We're not that different.

[Eddie]

Yeah, not at all. Look at that. And no pumpkin. That was a surprise. I'm not going to lie. But I'm.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, I'm not. I'm sure a lot of fucking people love the pumpkin. You guys all like pumpkin?

[Eddie]

No, I hate it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Nope, see, there's.

[Eddie]

Here we go. Half and half.

[Daniel Tosh]

Half. Speaking of your grandma before, what. What did she cook that you would miss?

[Eddie]

So my. My grandma was from the south, so. Grits.

[Daniel Tosh]

Grits.

[Eddie]

She cooked a lot of grits. Hence, that's my. That's kind of like my default. I could eat grits with anything. I put meatballs on grits. Oh, yeah?

[Daniel Tosh]

Approve of that?

[Eddie]

Yeah. Grits, catfish. My mom actually makes the best Mac and cheese I've ever had. So, like Southern style food for big boned people.

[Daniel Tosh]

Everyone says that they have like the best Mac and cheese thing. And then I taste. I'm like, yeah, all right. It's good.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's not that different.

[Eddie]

It's not. But I think it's just nostalgia.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Eddie]

I would say that's the thing.

[Daniel Tosh]

Once it feels like home.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Once it feels like home. There's a frequency that comes through the food. When you taste and you're like, yep, that's it. You ever had a chitlin?

[Daniel Tosh]

Have I had chitlins, Eddie?

[Chef Darrell]

I don't think you have.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't think I have.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I've only had them once. But don't eat those.

[Daniel Tosh]

Talk about these crazy parties that you Used to cater.

[Eddie]

I remember this one party I did at the Chelsea Hotel. It was my doctor at the time, he was my chiropractor. Him and his partner would do these underground weed and burlesque parties. And so he invited me to it and he was like, oh, we would like for you to cater it. And they tell me the location of a day of. And so I pull up to the hotel and I have this. My sous chef was like, this super Christian lady. Like, old school Christian lady. Guaranteed she'd never seen anything like this. So we go into the party, and we're next door to the dressing room, and we set up our table and I'm serving the food and people walking in. Everybody's in mask and, like, suits and shit like that.

[Daniel Tosh]

And this is a sex party.

[Eddie]

It wasn't a sex party. It was a burlesque party, man. We weren't in the main room, so we don't know. I don't know. It's just people coming in, they're masked up and we're serving the food. Then all of a sudden, everybody goes in there and they take their seat. And out of this room comes, like, this woman dressed as a clown with, like, a bussier, like, super tight and, like, a thong on and high heels. Dressed like a clown, just, like, walking in the room. Behind her is another woman, runs out the room with, like, tassels on her nipples and, like, runs into this room and does her dance thing. And then you see, like, these two guys come out just fully in leather, like red leather and high heels, and ones walking like a dog. And the other one's just, like, behind him, like, hitting them with his whip. And I'm serving food right next to this white people. White people, all of them. And I was like, man, this is some crazy shit. And I guarantee that woman next to me was like, I'm never doing this again. Cause I hit her up again after that and she was like, nah, I'm busy, man. I was like, damn.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did they enjoy the food?

[Eddie]

They loved the food. Absolutely. Yeah. Yep. Love the food. That's the cool thing about food. Like, once before I got into it, you wouldn't know these little worlds exist. But at the end of the day, everybody gotta eat. And it's cool to be able to serve.

[Daniel Tosh]

Even the guy walking like a dog.

[Eddie]

Yeah, That's a fact, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

You guys gotta sit up and eat at some point.

[Eddie]

You gotta chip his little fucking apple water for fucking feeding. Yeah, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you do any new catchphrases while you were there?

[Eddie]

I Didn't say, tear that ass up, I'll tell you that.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, everybody's on the show. I try to bring them stuff. I just give you stuff that's laying around my house. Okay. It's never exciting. Let's see what I got for you. First thing I got for you, we never use this. It's this fancy spice rack. I don't know if you've heard of March Pantry, but if you look it up, it's hundreds of bucks.

[Eddie]

Okay. And I can have this?

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. It's yours.

[Eddie]

Shout out to you. This is a heavy ass stand.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, yeah. Yeah. Well, don't scratch my beautiful table. I just got this table.

[Eddie]

Fair enough.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, put that on the floor. You can put that on the floor, please. You ever. You ever fuck with chili?

[Eddie]

Hell, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, then this is where I gotta get you. This right here. Malibu Chili Cook off, my man.

[Eddie]

You all won a chili competition, too.

[Daniel Tosh]

Next year. It's in September.

[Eddie]

Okay?

[Daniel Tosh]

You're entering.

[Eddie]

Boom Boom. You do this?

[Daniel Tosh]

No, but my friend Mona. Shout out Mona. She'll get you. Make sure you're in.

[Eddie]

All right.

[Daniel Tosh]

Look at that. You gotta tighten it up. My head's bigger.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah. You had this on your head.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Your head is big.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, that looks good.

[Eddie]

Looks good. All right.

[Daniel Tosh]

It looks good. You interviewed. I saw you posted with Ricky Williams.

[Eddie]

Yep.

[Daniel Tosh]

One time I was doing something with Ricky. We were shooting something, and he knows that I'm a Die Hard Dolphin fan. And he said to me, honestly, he was like, hey, you know, when I left, when I quit, were you mad? And I was like. I was like, what? I was like, absolutely mad. I was like, they destroyed you. They forced you to run through the middle for a decade and just hammered you because you were the only person on the team that could do anything. He was after Marino before, whatever. And I was like, this notion that I. That I, as a fan, a fanatic, care like, I don't want them to destroy themselves. I was like, you're nonsense. Ricky now with Tua, he should take his 96 million and go.

[Eddie]

It's guaranteed, too. He got some money. Guaranteed.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, no, no. He's got 96 guaranteed. And the other hundred is like. But here's, you know, here's the thing with him. You know that it's Hawaiian. They've got this culture. His entire family is geared around football. I've heard stories about his father raising him. And it wasn't do five push ups. It was a little more intense.

[Eddie]

500.

[Daniel Tosh]

Or it was. Or it might have been something. Else, I'm not speaking on what I don't know, but I'm just saying their whole livelihood is football. Their whole family lives. He's got a lot of mouths to feed, and I don't think he's going to. I don't think he's going to walk away under any circumstance.

[Eddie]

I mean, if you can't feed it with 96 million. How big are these mouths?

[Daniel Tosh]

I know.

[Eddie]

Crazy big balls.

[Daniel Tosh]

I know. And you got no income decks there, too, so. Adam, listen. I always thought it would be great if someone came out like a Heisman Trophy winner, waited for the draft, got drafted number one, and then said, no, thank you. I'm not playing.

[Eddie]

That would be lovely.

[Daniel Tosh]

In fairness, that what really did happen. Charlie Ward.

[Eddie]

Yeah. He got the Heisman, went to basketball.

[Daniel Tosh]

Said, you know what? I'll sit on the bench in New York for two decades and just make.

[Eddie]

Bank, collect checks, brains intact with a Heisman. What?

[Daniel Tosh]

This is why I've always felt bad's not the right word, but whatever. A little sad toward football players. Whenever you play your last football game, whether it's high school or college or pros, that's it. You rarely. It's one of the. Nobody's has. Oh, a fun pickup game of tackle football, you're done for the rest of your life. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Unless it's Thanksgiving.

[Daniel Tosh]

Right. But it's not. It's still not. I mean, do you still go. You go all out still? No.

[Eddie]

Hell no.

[Daniel Tosh]

Hell, of course not. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

That'd be the scariest Thanksgiving.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

I just. You know, I've always been grateful. Like comedy, where it's like, oh, I can do this till I'm an old man if I want to. I think it's great that while you made it to the mountaintop, you're like, mm, I found something else. Cycling meatballs. All right.

[Eddie]

Oh, meatballs. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Fuck cycling.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, fair enough. Cycling. Really? Does that get you going? You're like, you love it.

[Eddie]

Hell, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, man. I see you guys on the PCH in your pelotons. Oh. Groups of you. And I'm just like, oh, shit, I'm gonna hit them. I'm gonna. Get over. Get over.

[Eddie]

I don't do that. I'm not like a.

[Daniel Tosh]

You don't race with people?

[Eddie]

No, I do by myself. And I wear, like, this hat. I have no shirt on. Like, I. I ride my bike like a fucking Huffy. I ride expensive bike, like Huffies.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's funny to me, though, that they do all, like, wear the tight gear and everything. Like that. It's like. Well, you're not actually in a race. Why does it matter?

[Eddie]

I don't care for them, okay? But I ride my bike.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're not wearing the pants?

[Eddie]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

You don't have the butt thing?

[Eddie]

I wear this shit, man.

[Daniel Tosh]

You don't have a pad in your ass?

[Eddie]

Nah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, okay. That's really.

[Eddie]

I wouldn't say. I'm a cyclist. I like to ride bikes. I like to ride my bike because it's like. It's my form of meditation versus it being like, I'm going to this destination and trying to be a douche and take over the lane. I like to be in a cut. I'll ride on the beach, not near cars. And especially in la. These people drive crazy.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, we got texts to send out.

[Eddie]

That's a fact. Today the lady was sitting in text right next to me.

[Daniel Tosh]

But, yeah, I hit a guy on a bike once when I was first moved to la. He was riding, and I wasn't going fast, but I turned into a gas station and he was going straight and I clipped him, knocked him off the bike. And he was. He probably was unhoused. He jumped off his bike, looked at me, and just goes. And got on his bike and rode away. I was like, oh, Jesus, this place is terrifying.

[Eddie]

Hilarious. A monster.

[Daniel Tosh]

If you could play a different professional sport, not one that you're necessarily good at, but what would be like, that would be a pretty fun professional sport.

[Eddie]

To be Baseball, man. That Check. What? And I'm built like a baseball player. I look like Stanton. Like, we have the same build.

[Daniel Tosh]

And by the way. And they can 45. Doesn't bother them. They'll fucking go out there and still keep swinging it.

[Eddie]

Hell, yeah, man. I could do that shit.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right, so baseball, that would be your.

[Eddie]

That would be the one. And I love to swim, so I love swimming.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, but there's no money in swim. That's the opposite of what you're saying for baseball, swimming is. There's no money.

[Eddie]

Well, I would probably do, like, the Olympics. Not the Olympics. What's the Cathlon? One of those athlons.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know.

[Eddie]

Where you run, swim and bike. That one. I would like to do that.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, you can do a triathlon this week.

[Eddie]

There we go.

[Daniel Tosh]

You want to do that?

[Eddie]

I would love to do that. But I think the thing is, when you're an athlete, you're born that way. Like, I can't help but be a competitor in everything. Like, if I have children, I will never let my children Win at anything until they actually can. Even then I'll fucking break a hip.

[Daniel Tosh]

Trying to beat them. That's big talk. Until you have that kid. And then you want to see their face light up.

[Eddie]

No, I want to see them mad as fuck. Come on, run at me.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're going to have children.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Hopefully soon. Yeah, hopefully soon. I mean, we practicing, man. I'm shooting that shot. I'm Steph Curry boy.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, yeah, you thank God after each shot.

[Eddie]

Amen. Amen.

[Daniel Tosh]

Good for you. I'm not shooting my shot anymore. I had my shot snipped.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Yeah. How was that?

[Daniel Tosh]

It wasn't so bad.

[Eddie]

Is it like a dog where you become like super nice after they neuter you?

[Daniel Tosh]

No, I'm just as horny as I was before.

[Eddie]

That's good to know. I love that.

[Daniel Tosh]

I waited till I was 44.

[Eddie]

Are you happy with that decision?

[Daniel Tosh]

No. Oh, God, I wish I was still single.

[Eddie]

Damn hilarious. No, if you could go back, would you have had children earlier or would you have waited too?

[Daniel Tosh]

No, no, wait. I would have liked six more months of being single. That's it. And I would have. I needed to know that I was going to be locked up after that. So I could have gone like a madman for six months.

[Eddie]

That would have been nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

Get the Rolodex. Just with tons of extra.

[Eddie]

Hey, big head. Mm. I have a serious question.

[Daniel Tosh]

No.

[Eddie]

What is your advice to a first time male parent, especially dealing with a pregnant significant other?

[Daniel Tosh]

You have to suck it up.

[Eddie]

Mm.

[Daniel Tosh]

Cause she's gonna be a bitch.

[Eddie]

I believe that. Okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

Her innards are changing. Like where, like organs were are now completely in a new spot in her body. She's gonna be. It's gonna be awful for a year and a half. And you just have to embrace that, have grace and have fun.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

And then it's just. It's silliness.

[Eddie]

Do you like kids?

[Daniel Tosh]

I love it.

[Eddie]

You like your kids?

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, I like kids in general, but I like my kids a lot more than the other kids.

[Eddie]

When you, when you watch them, is it interesting? Do they, like, do things that you do and you're like, oh, shit.

[Daniel Tosh]

Or somewhat. I don't notice it as much as my wife will point it out to me. But it really is a time machine in the sense that you all of a sudden, oh, fuck, I get to relive life again.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Huh.

[Daniel Tosh]

So that part of it's neat. You're like, oh, this is different. And I always knew that you were gonna care more about them than yourself. But when I was just my own self. That's all I wanted to care about and I was good with that. But then when you get the kids, you're like, oh, this is fun, seeing all their silliness.

[Eddie]

I look forward to it.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's good. You'll be good.

[Eddie]

Thank you.

[Daniel Tosh]

You'll be good.

[Eddie]

I appreciate that.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right, well listen, Darrell, we appreciate you being on the show and I look forward to seeing you at the Malibu Chili Cook Off.

[Eddie]

Hell yeah, brother. Thank you.

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[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this holiday season. Unwrapped sweet savings on all your favorite holiday Candy now through December 31st. Shop in store and online and save on holiday candy like Ferrero Rocher, Russell Stover Gift Box Bra, Soft Jellies, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Hershey Candy Cane kisses, M&MS, and Hershey Milk Chocolate Kisses. Get these holiday favorites before they're gone. Offer ends December 31st. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

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[Daniel Tosh]

Toshow. Thank you, Darrell. I hope he wins that cook off next year. Then I'll take some ownership in it. We're gonna do that segment we haven't done in a while. Hello from Tosho from Sydney and Justin. They invited me to their wedding. The invitation was in both English and French, so I. Who knows where the wedding is? I didn't click on the link because I'm terrified of that stuff. I don't click on links. Anyway, nice of you to reach out. I wish you all the best. Zero chance I'm going to be at your wedding. All right. Boyswearpink.com toshowstore.com Guys, get your gear. I saw my father in law walking around town with his horrible knees wearing a Tosh show sweatshirt just this morning. I'm like, look at you. He's like, I'm spreading the word. Just want people to ask me about it. I told him right where your office is. I'm like, God damn it. What else? Eddie's tour. Go to his website. Go to our website, danieltosh.com. check out our tour. And now. You ready? You ready, Carl? Free plug. Let's do the free plug. Hit the music. Oh, wow. That is depressing. That is extremely depressing music. Well, it's free. Okay. This week's free plug is from the Wheeling turkey trot, a 5K on Thanksgiving morning in beautiful Wheeling, West Virginia. Oh, where is that exactly? What's that near what? Real city Pittsburgh. Near Pittsburgh. Oh, man. Wheeling. Join us Thanksgiving day at The Alma Grace McDowell center, located on the beautiful Wheeling University campus. The event kicks off at 8:30am with a 1K children's fun run. Look at that. I've never been involved in a 1K. You get a shirt for that? Do you have to wrap up an aluminum foil at the end of a 1K?

[Chef Darrell]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right, then. The 5K run and walk begins at 9am sharp. You think they let the walkers go out in front? No, they make the runners go in front. But they should do it the opposite way so that the walkers are getting past. This is scary. Today is the last day for virtual signup, which is $35 plus a $4.60 processing fee. Or you can just come with a sweaty wad of cash on race day. I'm guessing all proceeds benefit the Wheeling Parks and Rec. Get yourself out there, Burn off some calories before you sit down and gorge yourself while your uncle rattles off some light hate speech. Yeah, I don't know what you guys do. We all have traditions. Anyway, happy Thanksgiving. See you next week. Eddie do the gobble gobble again.

[Del Taco Voiceover]

The flavor, the tradition and the spirit of Carne Asada lives on at Del Taco. Join the asada today with Del Taco's new limited time half pound Chipotle Carne Asada Steak Burrito packed with sweet, spicy and smoky flavor. Wrapped up and grilled to perfection, the whole Carne Asada steak menu delivers the bold flavors you crave with epic burritos, loaded fries and street tacos starting at just 2.99. Only at Del Taco.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this holiday season, Unwrapped sweet savings on all your favorite holiday Candy. Now through December 31st. Shop in store and online and save on holiday candy like Ferrero Rocher, Russell Stover Gift Box Bra, Soft Jellies, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Hershey Candy Cane kisses, M&MS. And Hershey Milk Chocolate Kisses. Get these holiday favorites before they're gone. Offer ends December 31st. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[DSW Voiceover]

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