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Daniel Tosh
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Daniel Tosh
Wayfair Every style, Every home. Before I go on stage, I check to make sure my zipper is up. And then when I'm on stage throughout the show, I have this gesture. Occasionally, I check to see if my zipper is down. Never in my life, in 30 years of performing has my zipper ever been down. I did the full first show with my zipper down. Posh show, Posh show. Posh show for show. Hello and welcome to Tosh Show. Daniel Tosh, fresh off the road with Eddie Gosling.
Eddie Gosling
Also here. Fresh off the road.
Daniel Tosh
Are you rested? Did you sleep well?
Eddie Gosling
I did, yeah.
Daniel Tosh
When we're on tour, Eddie sleeps the longest.
Eddie Gosling
I do.
Daniel Tosh
He doesn't reply to our text until 10:30, which is fine. You know, he's staying awake sometimes till two in the morning to go into these hotels. Now this tour that we just finished went from the New England area, then it dipped down into the Pennsylvania area and then over, you know, New Jersey, D.C. and then up to Canada. Oh, let me tell you something, if you know me, you know I love being on tour. And I did it right at the end of school. My kid finishes school. We go to the last day of school, they have the fire department come, they spray everybody with a hose, which is fun. And I'm the only adult that runs out there fully clothed I just, like, walked up to my son in the middle of it, and then all his friends just lose it. They're like, oh, your dad's just getting soaked. That's fun. But anyway, I take my son. He's coming with me on the first part of the tour alone. I'm not bringing anybody else. The wife, the daughter, the dog. They're staying back. They're going to meet us a little bit later. They're giving us a head start. We fly first to New Haven, Connecticut. And I'm going to be honest with you, I didn't know that the show was going to be that large. It was a huge first show. I was not prepared. I like to ease into it. Got to see Charles again. Charles is my bus driver. I'm going to interview him on the show when it works with our schedule, because he doesn't just drive me, you know, he drives other a list comedians and bands. And he'll tell you about it. It's interesting. He'll let you know who's on the up and up and who's a piece of shit. And I've had a ton of bus drivers in my life. And Charles, Charles knows what he's doing behind that wheel. You say, how hard is it? I'm like, I've seen him do incredible things. You know, the parking, the backing up, the tight quarter. It's just so stressful. He's got to do all this with me constantly in his ear saying stupid stuff like, hey, you know any good place to get chicken?
Eddie Gosling
You want a donut, Charles?
Daniel Tosh
Oh, I'm always trying to feed him donuts, trying to keep him awake. Okay, so first off, we're in Wallingford, Connecticut again. I said it was too big, but the green room, man, things have changed. I mean, it used to just be like some dank, dirty hole behind the stage, but this, this had a full arcade and like a candy store, but no store. You just got to eat it. My son is like, this is night one.
Eddie Gosling
That's great.
Daniel Tosh
The spreads backstage are never that impressive for me because I don't ask for a lot. I like some local candles, you know, one or two, and then I keep those, and then I have my candles the rest of my year. But anyway, this was this place. They had some candles. And this woman writes me this long letter about how she's so happy that I'm requesting some of her candles. And I didn't request them, but it was nice enough. And she's like, can you give me a plug? And I'm like, What? But I'm going to she devil's coven. She writes me this whole long letter about how the reason that she's not there to hand me her candles in person because she's got a big head injury. And then we drove on to Boston, and by the way, this tour, smack dab in the middle of the World Cup. So it's so fun. You know, we were in Boston when the Scots were there drinking up all the beer, and I kept. I kept saying, please slow down. No. My son and I were walking around and everyone's in kilts.
Lowe's Announcer
Right.
Daniel Tosh
That was just fun.
Eddie Gosling
The tartan army.
Daniel Tosh
I think I have to get to this point and just say that Boston may be the greatest city in our country. Wow. And I know I always tease Boston about, you know, that certain type of person, you know, and sure, you've got your Mark Wahlberg's, your Dane cooks, and all of these types of people that you're like, yeah, that. That perpetuates a stereotype that maybe I don't love, but I don't really run into the cliche.
Eddie Gosling
Right.
Daniel Tosh
Blue collar Boston union guy. That's just. I just find it wonderful. I find it beautiful. I find people being nice, and it's pretty. I'm just saying, I. I haven't had a bad time in Boston in a long time, and the shows are the best. We were playing at a place that's attached to Fenway, the Fenway Theater. So, like, Eddie and Pete go into the game. They paid 50 bucks each for standing room only seats. Now, I hate to do this, but when I was a kid, I get into bush Stadium in St. Louis, like, for 2 to 3 bucks, 5 bucks.
Eddie Gosling
I told you, we got ripped off, Pete.
Daniel Tosh
$50 for standing. But we got to actually see the game. My son and I like. Like, they had a door open backstage, and we could, like, walk to the game, and then their green room was beautiful, and they had that dumb, stupid beer game you play where. Where you've got a hook on the wall and. And you've got a metal loop tied to a string, and you got to swing it, you know, 20ft away, and it's got a hook on. My son at seven, just immediately addicted. They had tons of video games. Couldn't care. He just. He wanted to hook that thing so bad. I think he hooked it twice. I don't know if this comes across on the podcast, but I'm a little ocd and I have a routine, and that routine is magnified when it comes to performing before I go on Stage, I check to make sure my zipper is up. And then when I'm on stage throughout the show, I have this gesture. Occasionally, I check to see if my zipper is down. Never in my life, in 30 years of performance, has my zipper ever been down. I did the full first show with my zipper down. It mortified me. I'm told nothing happened, Nothing popped out. You ever performed with your zipper down?
Eddie Gosling
No.
Daniel Tosh
I know my fans would just say, like, something. Hey, dummy.
Lowe's Announcer
Exactly.
Daniel Tosh
You quit fucking trying to be cool. Fucking zippers down, cocks out. Sir, from Boston, you remember where we went?
Eddie Gosling
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
To the birth of Christ. Bethlehem. We headed to Bethlehem. And that was weird because, you know, I just fall asleep in the bus and then I just wake up. I'm in a parking lot and I look out my window and. And it's Mad Max. I'm in a dystopian future. There's this old. I don't even know what it was, like, run down old steel mill.
Eddie Gosling
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, it was terrifying. And I'm just in the. In. In this bus alone with my son. I'm like, I. I think we're here, but we have to survive for 36 hours. Well, we went into a casino and that was nice because they had a play area for the kids. So I go to this casino, I'm headlining their theater. You know, I'm on the marquee, you can see me. And I get to this place where there's a play area for the kids, and they're like, oh, this is for drop off. You have to drop your child off. And you go gamble. I'm like, yeah, I get it. And then I introduce who I am. And she's like, yeah, but you're not allowed back here. I'm like, I know, but I'm not. I'm just. I just want to watch my kid play for a little bit. I'm not going to. I'm not going to go anywhere. And they wouldn't allow me to do that. Isn't that weird? I'm headlining. Technically, I'm an employee of the casino right now. Let me sit down in a chair out of the way while my son plays on your dumb fucking little play structure. So then I go, okay, well, there's an arcade that we can go to. And then I was like, oh, no, I've passed on the gambling gene. Because it was this arcade where you win tickets, you know, and one of them, like a claw machine, and you start literally not picking up prizes, picking up rolls of tickets. At the end of playing this One to win tickets. Said, come on, be a good sport. Try again. And I go. And my son clocked it. He goes, that doesn't mean being a good sport. I'm like, I know. It's literally trying to turn you into a little addict. And he was. Because he was like, he. He went up and looked at the. The prizes, and. And all the good prizes were, like, thousands of tickets. And he's like, how many do we have? I'm like, we've got 82 now. You got a finger skateboard? We called it a day. Do you remember eating lunch here, Eddie?
Eddie Gosling
I do.
Daniel Tosh
Do you remember what you ordered?
Eddie Gosling
Yeah, I got a crab cake sandwich.
Daniel Tosh
Okay. Eddie gets a crab cake sandwich. Again, it's just Eddie, myself, my son, and Pete at this restaurant. Pete gets up to do something, maybe go to the bathroom, maybe, like, I have no idea. He has an iced tea. Eddie didn't enjoy his crab cake sandwich. And so Eddie puts his entire crab cake sandwich, wedges it into Pete's iced tea. And my son thinks that's hysterical, because it is. There's a fucking whole crab cake sandwich in this fucking. In Pete's iced tea now. And it kind of looked pretty.
Eddie Gosling
I stabbed it.
Daniel Tosh
And then Pete comes back and he goes, I was gonna drink that. My son thought that was hysterical. He's like, yeah, you can still drink it. Put a straw in there. Yeah, that show was fine. Then we were off to Pittsburgh again. It's only this. Only the second drive of the tour. Pete almost has an explosion in his pants. Pulls a ME runs up, tells, Charles, Charles, like, I'm pulling over now. And he just.
Lowe's Announcer
He just.
Daniel Tosh
Just whips the bus off her. You know, my. My son and I are in the back rolling out of bed. What the fuck is this? Pete had to take an emergency dookie here.
Eddie Gosling
He did.
Daniel Tosh
And. And that set the tone for the tour. My stomach, spoiler alert. Lock solid. All tour Pete loose, miserable. Just Lou. Everywhere he was going. He was barely making it. I lost some weight on this door. And Pittsburgh, I mean, come on. I tell the people there, it's, you know, the greatest city in America to raise a family. Yet 50% of the streets I walk down with my son in Pittsburgh were the fucking most frightening places I've been in America, so travel and leisure. Must have skipped those. I don't let my son bring toys on the tour because it's always a fun activity to walk around a city, find a toy store, and then I'll pick him up something stupid. Okay. We found this toy store in Pittsburgh. And I mean, I can't do this justice. We walk in, it's like an old house in a bad neighborhood. And it is terrifying. And there's like no toys, but they're like. There's a wall, a pegboard wall, and just random things hanging from it that are for sale. One wall had like, you know, some Trump memorabilia, and then like another, like, had two or three Legos. And then I see the person that works there, and I don't want to show a photo of them because it's like I'm mocking them, which I kind of am, but I feel like I can mock them if I don't show the photo. And just like old man, like scoliosis bent all the way over, like, to over a 90 degree bend. And just like everything about it screams horror movie. Don't go in, don't. And then he has another old lady that also works there. And she's like, there's an upstairs too. And I'm like, oh, if. And my son's like, okay, great, let's go upstairs. I'm like, don't go upstairs. We are never getting out of this house.
Eddie Gosling
That's where they skin you.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, my good. It was so much worse than what you're evening. Imagine, like, if this was for the horror movie, they'd be like, okay, guys, dial it back. This isn't believable. It's so terrifying. And the toys are mismatched from eras gone by. And she's. Now I'm talking to her and she's like, who you buying for? And like, you're. How old's your girl? I'm like, he's a boy. He just has long hair. And she's like, seven. Okay, this is good for seven year olds. Like, she picks up just a random thing. She goes, I don't ring people up. I don't. That's not for. That's what. Phil. Phil downstairs, he'll ring you up. But I don't. I'm like, I'm not buying what you're handing me. Just because it says for a seven year old. How is it still open? It makes no sense. Thank you. So then my son all of a sudden goes, dad, can I get this? And I'm like, what? It was like a perfect Mandalorian Lego kit. Age appropriate for him. I'm like, how did they have this here? None of. They had like a whoopee cushion. Like, that was the shit. Like, you know, itching powder. And I'm like, okay, yeah, you can get that. I go downstairs and then I'm like, oh, no. I'm like, buddy, I know we're not gonna be able to get. I only have Apple Pay. There's. And I go, do you take Apple Pay to the old man? He's like, yeah. I'm like, oh, okay.
Eddie Gosling
Like, what?
Daniel Tosh
And he rings me up and he's like, okay, $87. What the fuck? It was a fucking. It was like a lego box. Like 180 pieces. 80 fucking 6. I was like, this is crazy. Anyway, I paid for it because I wanted to support Grandma and Grandpa's, you know, surgery. Yeah, this isn't mom and Pop. This is great Grandma. Somebody is gonna tell us. Oh, my goodness. You went in there? That store hasn't been open in 57 years. You saw two ghosts.
Eddie Gosling
That's great.
Daniel Tosh
Still got charged. Yeah, they had Apple pay. Fucking ghost at Apple Pay. We'll be right back. If you need to go from an airplane to dinner without changing your pants, should be able to keep up. That's why I'm excited about the Jetsetter Tech Pant from Jack Archer.
Shannon Maldonado
Oh.
Daniel Tosh
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Eddie Gosling
We're going to get it.
Daniel Tosh
We're getting this ball. What are the odds of that? Then we went up to the old catch up place and you know, we just booed, we just booed Aaron Rodgers. He wasn't there, but we just, you know, my son took a photo with his back turned to the stadium and said, we'll watch the Steeler game when he's gone. Pittsburgh then is where my wife and daughter flew in. So then the circus really started going. And the reason they came into Pittsburgh is because they wanted to go the following day to the water park in Hershey, Pennsylvania, which I'd been building up for a while. I told my son, we're going to a water park. We've never been to a real proper water park. And it's been a long time since I've been to a water park. And I'm thinking, Hershey's gonna do this right? And our bus gets there in the morning and you know, we're parking 30 miles away from wherever it is and we stand at a bus stop, load up in the tram, got the whole family in there. We're all happy going to a water park. You know, my wife looked up online, said, make sure you bring your towels, but we're in our bathing suits and stuff. Now. I've never been to Hershey's park, but here's what you might not know. It's an amusement park. A proper, beautiful amusement park. And deep inside of the amusement park is a water park. So most people dress like normal people. We're like ready to go to the beach and we're like having to walk through the amusement park. I guess there's places where people are like, oh, there's lockers and you change into your bathing attire once you get into the water park port. But it's just a bizarre setup. There should be a separate entrance to the water park.
Eddie Gosling
I think so.
Daniel Tosh
You think so? It's not even close. It's so deep into the amusement park. You go down boardwalk, you take a right. It was. Oh, and Pete thankfully just came with us, you know, just help. But he's dressed in all black. Like he, you know, has his costume for being on tour, but looks insane next to this family all in their bathing suits. So he's just sweating and you know, he's like, finds a table. We just like start doing water slide rides. And then there's this one big ride, and they're like, you have to go on this. It's being decommissioned after 47 years. And I'm like, that's not a selling point.
Eddie Gosling
It's the opposite.
Daniel Tosh
But we sure as shit got on, you know, loaded up. I got video. It just goes up a big hill and splashes down and creates a way. Everybody gets drenched, but you look underneath it and you know, why it's being decommissioned. Everything on it is, like, just rusted. You know, it has the integrity. The structural integrity has been compromised. One of the mat rides where you hold onto a mat and you start. I'm like. And he's next to me on a different. We're like, race. I'm like, is he okay? This thing is going 1,000 miles an hour. But he liked it.
Eddie Gosling
He's, like, loving it.
Daniel Tosh
I was scared shitless. Meanwhile, Pete, again, the guy, the stomach is just failing him on this tour. Guess what the week was that were there Hot dog week. So Pete's just fucking polishing off fucking dogs in the sun, dressed in all black.
Eddie Gosling
I didn't know this.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, it was hot dog week. And he's just in there eating hot dogs. And then I'm like, well, fuck if he's just going to eat hot dogs. I go over to this place, and they have nachos, okay. But they come in a bag of Doritos. You get this big bag. You ever seen these places, like, fair food shit?
Eddie Gosling
Yes.
Daniel Tosh
And I think it's funny because my son will think it's funny. You know, he's had a Dorito before. He knows what crack cocaine it is. And I'm like, well, can I get that without. With. With the salsa on the side? And she looked at me, she goes, no. And she put the salsa in. Which I respected on so many levels.
Eddie Gosling
It's funny. You would love that. Like, okay.
Daniel Tosh
I was like. She goes, she said, no, and then just poured it in.
Lowe's Announcer
No.
Daniel Tosh
So I just had this big bag of diarrhea, and I'm like, just, all right, Pete, let's go. Let's see which one of us blows up first. And they've got one hotel that you. You stay at the Hershey Hotel. And it's like this weird mansion that feels racist. They're like, do you want the dark chocolate room or the. The, you know, like, all right, I'll take the dark chocolate room.
Eddie Gosling
Something with pillows.
Daniel Tosh
They give. No, they give you a free candy bar. Check. But the hotel pool was nice, and it had a water slide Too. Like, a big one. And my son had just as much fun there. Did you go to the gym at the Hershey Hotel?
Eddie Gosling
Yeah, I did. There's, like, a bowl of Hershey's Kisses right at the counter.
Daniel Tosh
Right. It's just too much.
Eddie Gosling
Too much chocolate.
Daniel Tosh
It's Hershey. They lean on it too much. It's just everything has to be about the chocolate. Have you had their chocolate milkshake? It's the best milkshake you'll ever have. It's not. It's not the best milkshake I've had. I've had better. You want to know where a better milkshake is? Down the street here at Kiss, the most expensive store in the world where you can buy, like, Adidas shoes, but it's like, the Kith brand, so now they're $900, and. But they also sell milkshakes for 20 bucks. Guess what? They're better.
Eddie Gosling
Pretty good.
Daniel Tosh
No, they're better from Hershey. We go to Baltimore, and Baltimore. I don't want to be the guy, but, you know, it. The city is so bad. It's so sketchy.
Eddie Gosling
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
I mean, it depends on where you're at, but. Oh, my goodness. So we pull into this theater, and we have this private little alley that's indoors in a garage, and then they close the garage door on us. And I'm like, all right. That was your experience of Baltimore, guys. No. You know, my son starts skateboarding on the stage backstage, and that's. That's it. We're not. We're not going out and about. Not because I'm worried about it. Eddie goes out, but I'm like. It's just too. It's a lot. But this venue, thankfully, is near Fadely Seafood. It's a big fish market. Anyway. They have the best crab cake sandwich you'll ever have. It's just so good. Oh, my goodness. I'm sure somebody there's better ones now. I don't care. It's. I know what tastes good. That tastes so good. And that made me happy. So we had those backstage, we did the show, and Baltimore's crowds were amazing. I was like, God damn it. I didn't think they were going to be good. It was great. And we didn't even stay the night in Baltimore. We just went on to D.C. because I'm going to stay in Georgetown, and I like that. But the problem with going to DC Was we're right on the heels of our president Dipshit doing his weird, you know, fight night in his front yard. And so that was. You know, I didn't want to be photographed in. In D.C. like, I'm not here for this. I got my own thing going on.
Eddie Gosling
Right?
Daniel Tosh
You know, I'm not pretending to be Nate Bergazzi, where it's like, oh, I didn't know that this president was controversial. I was just. I was just. I love fights. Like, oh, shut the fuck up. I'm. I told the audiences, like, you know, I fucking hate performing in D.C. right now, as it seems like it might be a sign of endorsing this horrible pile of shit. And I don't mean that in a disrespectful way. I love our country. I respect the office, but, God, I fucking hate that guy. That's what I love about D.C. the actual. The actual city of D.C. it's like 90% Democrats. To know that the president has to live in a place where everyone hates him is just funny. So I was there multiple nights doing multiple shows, and they're great. When I'm on tour, I like to go to the hotel gym. I don't like to go out and about and run, but if I can go to the hotel gym, I'll do the treadmill. I started doing this, but I brought the wrong shoes for this tour. I had some Vejas, and they were. They're more casual sneakers. They're not good for, you know, five miles on a treadmill. So I'm like, oh, well, D.C. is a perfect place. I found a great running store. I go there. You know, it's a good running store when everyone that works there is under £90. You know what I'm talking about?
Eddie Gosling
You're right.
Daniel Tosh
Like, those weird runners where you're like, oh, you don't weigh anything, and your body doesn't know how to get tired. And I pointed at a few cool running shoes. You know, none of the brands am I familiar with. I'm like, do you have this one or this one in a 12? And he comes back and he goes. He goes, no, I don't have either of those. I have this one, and I go, I'll take it. Okay. You're not gonna believe this, John. This is my first pair of real running shoes in my life. The day I buy them, I'm walking back in a bag with my family back into the hotel. Who do I see in the lobby? Usain Bolt. I see Usain Bolt in the lobby with the craziest shoes I've ever seen on my. I wish they would have offered me those. And I'm like, this is A sign that I'm going to be the next great runner. It's almost a passing of the torch. What are the odds of that? As soon as I saw him, I'm like, I can't believe this is happening. I'm like, I got running shoes. I was like, look at this. He didn't care. You know who else? Medicine, D.C. Dr. Jocelyn and Andy, my Live Nation promoter who's been on the show. A lot of toss show guests were a part of this tour, and Andy's great. I worry about Andy, though, because he's in this relationship with this girl. I hope you guys don't cut this out, but I really. I really hope they tie the knot, you know?
Eddie Gosling
Yeah, I do, too.
Daniel Tosh
I feel like Andy's ready. Come on, Andy, Pop the question already.
Eddie Gosling
Yeah, come on.
Daniel Tosh
Let's go, Eddie. Eddie's family met us in dc, too. And then Eddie, you know what he did? He went to the reflecting pool, shot his own personal video to show how disgusting the water was. I'm not saying that he contaminated it. Not saying that he didn't, but it's gross, man. Looks like you did your own. You were like, I'm tired of the fake news.
Eddie Gosling
Right.
Daniel Tosh
And you went there and you were like, oh, it is, in fact. But did you notice that people were vandalizing it, or. No, no, no. Eddie and his wife visited Eddie's father in Arlington Cemetery. You went in per your mother's request.
Shannon Maldonado
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
And this, by the way, this was on the heels of Father's Day, so it's double whammy for you. And there's a huge line to get into Arlington, and you're like, hey, I'm not here for this. Right.
Eddie Gosling
I got a family pass. So they're like, okay, you just come this way, sir.
Daniel Tosh
Wait, you have a family pass?
Shannon Maldonado
Yeah.
Eddie Gosling
If you have somebody buried there, you don't have to go through, like, all the security.
Daniel Tosh
Well, wait, wait, but what do you have to show them the pass? You actually carry a card?
Eddie Gosling
Well, I took it with me there, but it's like.
Daniel Tosh
You have a card.
Eddie Gosling
I do.
Daniel Tosh
Is it plastic?
Eddie Gosling
No, it's like you could actually put it on your. If you could drive your vehicle on there if you want.
Daniel Tosh
How. How far of a walk in to his.
Eddie Gosling
He's on, like, the backside of the cemetery, so. But there's a. A tram that they. For people visiting.
Daniel Tosh
Is the tram. Is that a depressing tram?
Eddie Gosling
A little bit, yeah.
Daniel Tosh
I don't want to be on a tram going to see.
Eddie Gosling
And they pull up and there's like, services going. So they go, you got to get out here because we can't really go through it. So you just. Now you're walking between graves to get over to your site.
Daniel Tosh
Oh, my goodness. That is so intense. Did you go to pop up bagels?
Eddie Gosling
No, I didn't make it.
Daniel Tosh
Well, I went to pop up bagels and lived up to my hype. Now they give you an insane amount of cream cheese, but whatever. And it's kind of like a tear and pull, and you just, you know.
Shannon Maldonado
Mm.
Daniel Tosh
Those bagels are good. We had some people at the show dressed in a Tosh Point O gear and Arn Anderson gear.
Eddie Gosling
Yep.
Lowe's Announcer
Huh.
Eddie Gosling
Father, son.
Daniel Tosh
A father son. Did you meet them?
Eddie Gosling
I did.
Daniel Tosh
You and them now in a group text with Hutch.
Eddie Gosling
Nope.
Daniel Tosh
Eddie really gets out there and meets the people. I had a friend come out to see me in D.C. and I haven't seen her in. In, I don't know, maybe 40 years. It's a girl that I used to babysit when she was a child, and now she has four children. They're all grown. It was nice. I was like, and she looked great. Here. She's going to learn something right now about the meeting. She comes onto my bus with her oldest son, and not until they were leaving did I realize that was her son. And I thought it was her husband. Yeah. I didn't know.
Eddie Gosling
Wow.
Daniel Tosh
The best thing about D.C. was after all the shows there were finished, we sent our families packing. Eddie sent his family home. I sent my family home. And now it's just the boys off to Atlantic City. And I don't know when the last time you went to Atlantic City is, but it's worse. I haven't been to Atlantic city in 12 years. We were at the. The casino, the Hard Rock, which used to be Trump's casino, before that failed miserably. And they were even, like, showing us backstage. This is where, like, he had some weird lounge area.
Eddie Gosling
VIP area.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, a little VIP area to hang. And it was just tons of. He had furniture piled up everywhere. The casino floor seemed nice, but once you started walking through the belly of the beast, it was depressing. Then I got in my room, and I'm like, you know, I have this view of the boardwalk. I'm like, oh, this isn't bad. And then I'm like, the ceiling height is really low, and that's kind of a sign. And then I'm like, wait a second. There's a balcony, but I just see bolts in the door, bolting the door closed. I'm like, that's not good. I didn't like that. But I understand why they do that. Yeah, you string a few hours together, you're going to want that door open. And the security guys in Atlantic say they're just as Jersey as you want. And I'm gambling on my cell phone like a degenerate. Anyway, you know, they got live dealers now. It's just bizarre what you can do. I'm starting to understand why people say, oh, you shouldn't support these things, are they're ruining people's lives. But to me, it's just making my time in your state sparable. Well, we headed right off to Wilkes Barrel. And that, my friend, was a mistake. As bad as Atlantic City was, we should have stayed. I had no idea that Wilkes Barre was going to be as depressing as it was. This is close to home because my manager, Christy, is from there. She's like, oh, you should have told me a month ago. I would have put a whole list of things you should do. I'm like, knock it off. Nothing here on that list is worth it.
Eddie Gosling
Yeah, I don't know where that would be.
Daniel Tosh
Closed store, Closed store. Closed store. Cell phone store. Eddie and Pete were like, let's. Let's go into this dollar store. And I don't want to go into a dollar store. Like, now I'm just trying to be like, I don't know what. I'm like, I'm not going in. So I refuse to go into the dollar store. They go into the dollar store separately. First Eddie goes and he gets detergent
Eddie Gosling
or do laundry that night.
Daniel Tosh
So, yeah, yeah, whatever. He doesn't want to use the bus laundry or the backstage laundry. And then Pete goes in, and Pete comes out with, like, food. He's like, got ramen? I'm like, what are you buying? He's like, oh, they look good. He's like, spicy ramen. But it wasn't like the old packs that we used to buy, like, you know, 15 for 2 bucks. This was just like, a big bucket. And then he's like, I got leftover shrimp cocktail from two nights ago. I'm gonna throw it in there. And I'm like, you're gonna do fucking what again? This is the person that's had the bad stomach the whole tour, and now the bus stinks to high heavens. And he's throwing his shrimp cocktail and into this warm, stinky mess. And I'm like, is it good? He's like, no, it's disgusting. Like Carl Weathers from Arrested Development, by the way. We had just come. As far as sleeping goes. We had slept the last three nights in the D.C. four seasons, and now we're at a Best Western in Wilkes Barre. And it is so gross. And it's. They're decorated for the 250th. I took photos of this, like, really decorated. Oh, they're ready. There's also a person. We're not going to label him. He was being super loud. He was punching signs. He had a. You know, I don't know what he had in his hand, but Pete and the bus driver were positive that he was going to deface our bus because it was next to the hotel and they didn't want to leave. So they grabbed, like, a broom handle or something. I don't know what they were going to fight him with, but it was definitely happening. I'm asleep. The next day, Eddie's in the elevator with him. The guy's going to get breakfast.
Eddie Gosling
He's, like, coming down from.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, he's staying at this hotel.
Eddie Gosling
What the fuck?
Daniel Tosh
No. Well, I'm just saying, you guys. You guys profiled him, and turns out he was just another guest at the hotel.
Eddie Gosling
Had a bad night.
Daniel Tosh
Maybe it was a good night.
Eddie Gosling
It was a good night. Who knows?
Daniel Tosh
From Wilkes Barre up, back up, back up to New York, we're going, like, Port Chester was raining in Port Chester, and we didn't have a lot of options. But Pete, we were next to a Home Depot, so he just went in and got us some big old cheap umbrellas for 11 bucks each. We own those now.
Eddie Gosling
They're fun to walk around with.
Daniel Tosh
Although these are pretty flimsy. I'm not. I don't. You know, A strong gale and they're done.
Eddie Gosling
Yeah, they will destroy it.
Daniel Tosh
But we. But he found us a local seafood spot to have lunch, and it was just delicious. And then they gave us soup. This clam chowder, the hottest temperature I've ever experienced in soup. We ate our entire meal, and by the end of our meal, our soup was just at about the point where we could put it to our mouth.
Eddie Gosling
So hot. And you love hot.
Daniel Tosh
I love hot. But that was. I don't know what they're doing. That's like McDonald's lawsuit coffee. Hot.
Eddie Gosling
Yep.
Daniel Tosh
From there, quick drive over to Huntington, New York, Long Island. I. I thought the. I thought the town was cute.
Eddie Gosling
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
I thought it was adorable. Nice little restaurants. We went to one restaurant. What was the name? What was the name of the lunch spot?
Shannon Maldonado
Shed.
Daniel Tosh
The Shed. When we get there, I'm looking at the menu. And I see that they had this long list of mocktails, non alcoholic drinks. And I see the names of them and they're stupid. So right when the server comes, she says, do you guys. Is water. Do you want spark cleaner still? Or whatever? And I just say, I'll take in a straight face, I'll take a revenge of the Pink Panther. And you know, like they, they didn't. Had even had process that I could look at a menu that quickly. That's what made the joke funny, that I just go, I'll take a revenge of the Pink Panther. And she goes, oh, okay, great. And they both were just dumbfounded. And then I'm just waiting for them to react so that I can laugh. But anyway, by the way, the beverage was good to start. I remember ordering biscuits because they had biscuits on the menu. We had biscuits and I ordered something else.
Eddie Gosling
Deviled eggs.
Daniel Tosh
Deviled eggs, that's right. I don't like deviled eggs. I mean, they're fine, but I'm like, let's get these. And now I'm just, you know, I'm just doing silly orders. Pete, what was your entree, Pete?
Eddie Gosling
I had a lobster roll.
Daniel Tosh
He had a lobster roll. Now what do you think you get coleslaw or we had fries. That doesn't matter. We get our sides. Pete gets a lobster roll and his sides and then says, can I have a side of chicken? And I thought that was crazy. Now let's understand that Pete's big Charles
Eddie Gosling
says he wears it well.
Daniel Tosh
Yes, he's, he's, you know, he's. He has to be over 220. 230. I don't know what he weighs. He's. He's a big person. He's tall. Six, four. So I get it that you need more food, but it's just, you order like a normal lunch and then like a side. And she's like, like, you just want chicken
Eddie Gosling
flinch.
Daniel Tosh
She fucking flinched. She's like grilled. And he's like, yeah, here's how, you know, they flinch because a plate comes out and it's a, like a chicken breast, but it's like sliced in strips. So it's. Yes, they, they've never made that you don't order at lunch. Just like, I gotta get my calorie. I don't know what it is. I just found it bizarre.
Eddie Gosling
Yeah, the cook was like, this must be for the table's kid.
Daniel Tosh
It's like a wrestler, you know, like, okay, super protein meal. I got. I got to get to 226 by the. By midnight.
Eddie Gosling
We're good though, again.
Daniel Tosh
It's funny that I'm pointing these things out now because he was the poop machine on the. On the tour. He had deviled eggs, a lobster roll, biscuits and a side of chicken. This venue was. Was really unique. I don't like it for standup. I don't like any place that doesn't have fixed seats. I like the old theaters. I don't like a lot of aisles. It's not safe. I get that. But it makes for better laughter. But this was like a rock venue and it was, you know, it was beautiful and cool and it had a speakeasy underneath with private rooms. Like, you go into a phone booth and then the wall opens up and then there's another dining room table. A bunch of walls moved. Whatever people. I had my. My brother's wife and his kids come there and that family's fun to hang out because it's like my brother's wife and her parents. You know, I look just like my brother. So it's just very weird for them to watch me perform because they really only know my brother. And like, who is this guy?
Eddie Gosling
It's funny.
Daniel Tosh
It's like, why is. Why is Andrew saying bad things on stage? You know who else came to see us there in Huntington? Our old friend Trey Galleon.
Eddie Gosling
Right.
Daniel Tosh
Trey is a comedian that lives in New York, but when I knew him was back in Austin and he, at the time, I don't know if he was a cab driver or he had stole a cab, but I'm still uncertain. He used to drive me around in a cab. He just had a cab and we would go hang out and he, you know, if I was in town, he would. He would definitely help me get wherever I needed to go. And his, you know, funny. He was a funny young comic then and now he's. He's riding a motorcycle, which terrified me. But, you know, he didn't say anything about the show. I don't know. Did he like the show?
Eddie Gosling
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
What'd he say?
Eddie Gosling
Hey, great show, guys.
Daniel Tosh
He said, great show.
Eddie Gosling
Probably something just like that.
Daniel Tosh
That's not good enough. We'll be right back. This episode of Tosh show is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.
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Daniel Tosh
pa
Lowe's Announcer
show
Daniel Tosh
and then we're off to Syracuse, which is really Pete's stomping grounds.
Eddie Gosling
Exactly.
Daniel Tosh
Oh. Everywhere we went, Pete's like, I had sex there.
Eddie Gosling
Just the history, the lore.
Daniel Tosh
He's like, yep, I know that building. Got my. Had my first hand job there. The only thing I really remember about Syracuse is that Charles kept saying, we gotta. We gotta stock up. I'm like, we're going to Canada. He's like, no, you gotta stock up before you cross the border. I'm like, what? He's like, going and buying cans of dip because he's like, nuts. So much cheaper here in America and they hate us up there. I'm like, nobody hates us. They hate you. Not me. Charles couldn't be happier at all these places in Canada. He's like, you just got to get to Tim Hortons and get a brand muffin. I'm like, I don't want a brand muffin from Tim Hortons.
Eddie Gosling
He's pretty excited about it.
Daniel Tosh
He loves brand muffins from Tim Hortons. Now, our first show in Canada was in Windsor. That's a peculiar city. You're just looking over the river at Detroit. And Windsor historically has been a very safe, non violent city. Yet Detroit is not so just. For generations, people have always, like, looked over the river and been like, oh, that's. That's where the dangerous stuff happens. Now. I love performing in Detroit. Windsor. I turns out I do not love this show, which was at Caesar's Palace.
Eddie Gosling
Yes. Not palace, just Caesar's.
Daniel Tosh
Nice hotels. Caesars. They have me in a beautiful suite. I wake up, I go to order room service and I'm like, oh, no, there's no menu in here. I got to turn on the tv and then you have to like scroll over to dining in room dining, there's a QR code. I got to hit that to get the menu on my phone. And then everything on the menu is like, this is available for pickup downstairs. It'll be ready in 15 minutes. They don't bring it to you. Pete's like, let's just eat in the sports book. And I'm like, okay, but we go to the sportsbook, and we don't get, like, a private booth or anything remotely vip. Do I need vip? No, apparently not. They put us, like, in the front seat table in front of the big screens. So anybody that's, like, watching all the gambling action that they have going on, they're just, like, seeing us in this front seat. It was the grossest meal I've had. And then Pete always. Whenever I say something like, it's the grossest I've had on this tour, he's like, that's not the worst. I'm like, no, it's the worst I've ever had. It was so bad. And then Pete's like, bring your. Bring your passport. I'm like, why do I need my password? He's like, well, we get a per diem, so we have to prove that this is us. I'm like, oh, good God. So now I'm, like, trying to get my gross chicken Caesar wrap comped because I have a per diem. I'm signing it to the room. It's just. And then he's like, right on it. Tosh on the bill. And I'm like, people, now there's guys next to me like, hey, we get a photo. And I'm like, oh, this is later. You know, whatever. By the way, that's the meal. Humiliating. Just gross. But now let's take it up a notch. This is how I knew that this show was gonna be a train wreck. I want to go gamble for a little bit, so let's go sit down. I'm playing Ultimate Texas hold'.
Shannon Maldonado
Em.
Daniel Tosh
There's four people at the table, older couple, and then a very old man. And then one other person left. Doesn't matter. At one point, this other older man, when I say older, I'm saying 60s, 70s, or 59, and lived a horrible life. He just comes up to our table at some point and goes, hey, you guys want tickets to the comedy show tonight? And I say, no, I'm good. Okay. The oldest guy goes, well, who is it? And then the wife of the other couple goes, it's Daniel Tosh. Now, meanwhile, I've been at this table for 45 minutes. She doesn't know recognize me, doesn't. There's no acknowledgement. And then he's like, I don't know who that is. And then the old guy goes, I don't know who that is, but I'll take him. And then the. The other guy goes, yeah, here, take him. I don't want him. And he just. He didn't try. Not even try to sell him or anything. Just. I'm like, oh, this is my show tonight. This is. It was just a dose of reality.
Eddie Gosling
Ah, that's so good.
Daniel Tosh
So then what did I do? I put my money in blind and made a bet and won, got up and left. I'm at Caesars, the casino. So I know that if I'm at a casino, there's going to be people at the show that might not want to come or aren't familiar with my comedy. But backstage, when I tell you that there were a hundred rented wheelchairs and walkers that they take from people when they put them in their seat, and then they pile them up backstage. So Eddie's on stage, I'm backstage collecting my thoughts, and. And I'm just listening to these ladies just bringing one after another, wheelchair after wheelchair, and I'm just going, oh, this show is not going to go well. Off to Toronto. Which, let me be clear, I shit on Toronto constantly. But it's. They get it. The hotel.
Eddie Gosling
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Holy cow. That Four Seasons in Toronto, just beautiful. And we're at. We're at the Four Seasons for two nights there, and. And we're there at the same time a WNBA team is there, right? What was it?
Eddie Gosling
The Mercury.
Daniel Tosh
The Mercury, who had just gotten into the fight with, you know, Clark in Indiana, but they took over the gym. It's just like. They're just using it like it's their personal gym. So now I'm like, having to work in sets with, you know, I'm like, that's too much weight. Let's. Let's change the pin. I'm six four. But these girls, some of these big girls that are my exact. There's something about when a woman's my exact height that I'm like, oh, you're big and they're wide. And then some of them are dressed fancy and sexy, but they're still like 6:2. And I'm just like, oh, well, I wanted to say cute things like, hey, why don't you guys be nicer to Caitlin? But I was totally intimidated. John, you'll find this amusing, okay? Toronto, you know, home to the World cup, the game that was fun while I was getting ready to perform was Iraq, who lost 50 to I don't fucking care. But that was going on during Pride Week. So you had a bunch of Iraq fans and Pride Week at the same time. And I enjoyed seeing that dynamic unfold in the streets. But I didn't get my dream scenario in the World Cup. As most people know, I was pulling for Iran, and I was hoping that if Iran would win it all, that they would get an invite to the White House, and that. That would have been my. My dream scenario. But now I'm going to root for my second favorite team, which is the US Of A. Yo, Toronto's good, though. I. I don't. I'm not. I. I will continue to shit on it, but this was probably my most positive experience ever in Toronto, where I just had fun. But from Toronto, we went to Ottawa. Ottawa. We were not even. We never even stepped foot in the city. We did a show in and out. I would say that was probably the most impressive bus parking job I've ever seen a human do. He had to go a quarter of a mile in reverse with 2 inches on each side.
Eddie Gosling
He's crazy.
Daniel Tosh
Our bus is 13ft, and there's a bridge that. That might be 15ft, but it has scaffolding under the whole thing doing repairs. So he's. He's just eyeballing it. He's like, I think I got three inches. Just so you know, I've had a bus driver, you know, miscalculate before and get stuck on a highway in Chicago, have to get police to shut the road down while he backed up. And then we're off to Montreal, and Montreal's the best. But I was there on a Sunday during the World cup lot going on. I don't sell great. I didn't sell a ton of tickets, but I still love the city so much. We flew home right after the show in Montreal, and we had an early show, so we were like flying out at 8:45, but we had to land in Detroit to go through customs. But I was so excited to land in Detroit because I got to jump back on my phone and gamble for the 45 minutes while we cleared customs. That's when you know you have a problem. By the way, we're on a plane flying home, and my tray table's not working right. And I'm like, I could fix this. And I had a multi tool with me, and I started fixing it. Eddie. I'm like, eddie, take a photo of this. Because my wife mocks me anytime I go someplace, like an Airbnb or a hotel room, if I see something that's broke that I have the means to fix it, I go for it. I did that. I pulled it off, didn't I? Yeah.
Eddie Gosling
And then the thing came right back down flat and flush. And like, there you go.
Daniel Tosh
I fixed it. The worst part about the tour was just we got so into the World cup that when we got into Canada, none of our streaming services were working. But Eddie found some workaround on one of his apps, but it was only broadcasting in Spanish, so. Which is if you're gonna ever have to listen to a language that you don't completely understand. Watching soccer in Spanish is a pretty good one. Yeah, because they get pretty into it. We did 17. 17 days, 23 shows, 2,894 miles on the bus, 4,989 in the air, total stage time. Guess how long I was on stage for that tour? 32 and a half hours.
Eddie Gosling
Oh, it's a good noise.
Daniel Tosh
That's a lot. 32 and a half hours. Eddie, what was your favorite show?
Eddie Gosling
First show. Toronto.
Daniel Tosh
First show. Toronto was your favorite show. Good for you. I'm gonna say that my best show. I can't believe I'm gonna say this. It might have been Baltimore. I liked that crowd. I liked the energy. That's because I loved my DC shows. I love. You know, I love. I love Toronto too. Worst. What was your worst show? What show did you like the least, Eddie?
Eddie Gosling
Wilkes Barre.
Daniel Tosh
Wilkes Barre is Wilkes Barre.
Eddie Gosling
Wilkes Barre.
Daniel Tosh
Then don't call him Wilkes Barrel.
Eddie Gosling
Well, they had a bad show.
Daniel Tosh
I mean, Windsor's by far and away my worst show. I don't even know if I was doing stand up at one point. I was just like, guys, what is happening? Okay, so while we're on the road, we got some emails. Eddie, you're gonna read those out?
Eddie Gosling
Sure, man. Hi, Daniel. I'm attending your show tonight in Pittsburgh with my girlfriend. I wanted to ask you if you be into the idea of letting me propose to my girlfriend at your show tonight in front of everyone. We're both lifelong fans of you, and I think it would be an unforgettable special experience. Thank you for your time.
Daniel Tosh
I wish I would have heard about this before now. I would have said yes. Yeah, I would have said of course. Come on up and propose to your. To your girlfriend. That would have been great. Ah, next time, hold off. Don't do it. Just wait till I get there next time, and then I'll let you propose.
Eddie Gosling
What do we got here? Hi, my name is Christian and I'm taking my stepson Derek to the show in Hershey tomorrow. Was reaching out to see if it was possible to meet Daniel after the show. Tomorrow and get a picture with him. My stepson and I grew up watching the show and something we've always enjoyed. Thank you. Christian Kaiser.
Daniel Tosh
Yes, come on over.
Eddie Gosling
Hi Daniel. Casual POD listener here, but longtime fan. I bought tickets to your show in D.C. where I live but recently became aware that I will actually be out of town for work on the 19th. I know you love helping your fans so I was wondering if you could swap my tickets out for the ones in the Wilkes Barre show. It's a four hour drive but I really want to hear your jokes. Let me know if this is possible. Matt Sapphire.
Daniel Tosh
Hang on to it and come see me in Asheville, North Carolina. I'll swap it out. I know the ticket is long gone, but you come see me in Asheville, North Carolina. That's got to be a short drive to eight hours. Ten quick heads up.
Eddie Gosling
The best burger in D.C. is Prime Steak Burger at Bourbon Steak in the Four Seasons Hotel. Yeah, I work there but that's not why it really is the best. Enjoy. Win Robertson.
Daniel Tosh
Well, it's useless to me now. Eddie. Yeah, we're not there. Nothing I can do about the burger. I'm not going to grubhub it here.
Eddie Gosling
Hi Daniel. My entire family will be at your show in Wallingford. We're having dinner at the library Wine and Bistro at 5. Stop by and we'll buy you a dessert since you don't drink. Lori. Deal.
Daniel Tosh
See that? Actually I wish would have gotten to me earlier. Pete, this is on you. You're supposed to give me this information when people write into the show. I could have gotten a free dessert.
Eddie Gosling
You'd love that.
Daniel Tosh
I would have loved it. And by the way, desserts travel so I can. I can put it in my refrigerator and eat it hours later.
Eddie Gosling
Thanks for making the world a funnier place. I'll be at your show in Pittsburgh. Best Mexican food is Duo's. The chef was brought here from the French Laundry by CEO of Duolingo. Give it a try and let me know. All the best Joshua Sasbo.
Daniel Tosh
I'm not doing that. You think I'm going to eat fancy French laundry style Mexican food in Pittsburgh? Ah, I'm doing the Primanti brothers last one.
Eddie Gosling
Hi Tosh. My wife Cece is a clinical nutritionist and would love to help you with your digestive issues. She has helped many autistic dads with their IBS and tummy problems.
Daniel Tosh
Okay, I don't, I don't like that she is like throws in the autistic there but right that's okay. But Pete's the one that's having problems, right? Well, listen, we're doing another leg of this tour in the fall and I want people starting now to email me or you know, comment your recommendations for the cities or your request if you need something. If you need me to spot you a ticket here or there, which I'm going to be honest, I'll probably turn down 90% of those.
Eddie Gosling
But there's 10% you won't.
Daniel Tosh
No, I change it to 98%, I'll
Eddie Gosling
turn them down maybe 2.
Daniel Tosh
I'll give out a handful of tickets. But yeah, send those requests now so that I have time to process. You know, I can't just have people willy nilly proposing to people on stage, you know, and bopping into restaurants to pick up my free dessert before shows. Get your request in early for the fall dates. Attention Pete. That's what you should make the email out to. And check out our store, tossshowstore.com check out our Patreon page, patreon.com ToshShow check out the tour dates. You got it. And see you in the fall on the road. See you here next week. You're listening to this podcast so I know you've got a curious mind. Here's a helpful fact you might not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over $900 on average. Pop over to progressive.com answer some questions and you'll get a quick quote with discounts that are easy to come by. In fact, 99% of their auto customers earn at least one discount. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates 12 month savings of $946 by new customer surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary.
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Host: Daniel Tosh
Guests/Co-Hosts: Eddie Gosling
Release Date: July 7, 2026
In this candid, irreverent episode, Daniel Tosh recaps the first leg of his farewell stand-up tour through the Northeast and parts of Canada, joined by longtime friend and opener Eddie Gosling. It's a sprawling, behind-the-scenes look at travel snafus, unconventional green rooms, family hijinks, and the quirks of performing in wildly different venues. Throughout, Tosh's signature blend of sarcasm, observational humor, and genuine admiration (for cities and audiences) comes through, providing listeners not only with road stories but also a tour of America (and Toronto) through the jaded eyes of a touring comic dad.
"Never in my life, in 30 years of performing has my zipper ever been down. I did the full first show with my zipper down." (01:00-01:28, 06:36-07:49)
"This had a full arcade and like a candy store... My son is like, this is night one." (03:57-04:23)
"Boston may be the greatest city in our country." (05:24)
“He goes, that doesn’t mean being a good sport.” (09:27)
“You went in there? That store hasn’t been open in 57 years. You saw two ghosts…Still got charged. Yeah, they had Apple Pay. Fucking ghost at Apple Pay.” (15:03-15:41)
"Baltimore's crowds were amazing." (26:06)
"I fucking hate performing in D.C. right now, as it seems like it might be a sign of endorsing this horrible pile of shit." (27:32)
"This is a sign that I'm going to be the next great runner. It's almost a passing of the torch." (28:52)
“I don’t even know if I was doing stand up at one point. I was just like, guys, what is happening?” (55:53)
“I mean, Windsor’s by far and away my worst show.” (55:53)
"I'll swap it out… Asheville, North Carolina. That's got to be a short drive to eight hours. Ten." (57:19)
"Boston may be the greatest city in our country." (05:24)
"I don’t like any place that doesn’t have fixed seats. I like the old theaters. I don’t like a lot of aisles. It’s not safe. I get that. But it makes for better laughter." (41:47)
"I don't let my son bring toys on the tour because it's always a fun activity to walk around a city, find a toy store, and then I'll pick him up something stupid." (12:04)
"At one point, this older man comes up to our table at some point and goes, hey, you guys want tickets to the comedy show tonight? And I say, no, I'm good ... she doesn't recognize me, doesn't. There's no acknowledgement.” (48:19)
For more road stories, updates, or to pitch your own cities and requests, Tosh directs fans to the show email and his website for the next tour leg.
“Get your request in early for the fall dates. Attention, Pete.” (59:30)
End of summary.