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Daniel Tosh
The holiday season is back, which means it's a time for giving. Subaru and its retailers believe in giving back to those who need it most. For the past 17 years, Subaru has made the act of buying a Subaru during the holiday season an act of love. When you purchase or lease a new Subaru during the Subaru Share the Love event, Subaru and its retailers donate a minimum of $300 to charity. By the end of this year's event, Subaru and its retailers will have donated nearly $320 million to national and hometown charities. To learn More, go to subaru.com/subaru More than a Car Company hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour, and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okatsuka, Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Carr, Kathy Griffin, Matt Matthews, Matt Rife, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Stavros Helkias, Wanda Sykes, and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.
Ed
Every day, our world gets a little.
Daniel Tosh
More connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind us to be more human. Thank you for calling Amica Insurance.
Ed
Hey, I was just in an accident.
Daniel Tosh
Don't worry. We'll get you taken care of. At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking. It's human. Amica. Empathy is our best policy.
Ed
There was a murder in my family. Good Lord. Posh show. Posh show. Toss show for show. Merry Christmas Eve. What a toss show gift this is. I'm here burning the midnight owl. Owl, midnight owl. Burning the midnight oil. Here I am giving you guys a special Christmas treat.
Daniel Tosh
How you doing, Daniel?
Ed
Oh, Ed, if I'm going to be honest with you, not good. What happened? Not good. No, no. There was a murder in my family. Good Lord. Now, you know, when we started this podcast, the one thing I said I didn't want to do was a true crime podcast, right? Well, guess what? Here we are. We have to do a true crime podcast because of the murder that happened in my family. Now, as most of you know, last week I took the family to Maui for a week. Day one. Soon as I get there, I get a call from my wife's cousin, Panda, as we call her, who's watching over my flock. That's all my pets. That's the dogs, the pig, the chickens. I get a Call. And she's, she's not doing well. And I'm like, what's going on? And she's like, they killed Betty. I'm like, oh, no, who killed Betty? She's like, I don't know. There was a bird eating Betty when I pulled up. This is my black chicken. Oh, Black Betty.
Daniel Tosh
Blam, blam.
Ed
Thank you. Right on cue. And now let me tell you something about my chickens. You know, they're all chickens. Not a rooster in the bunch. They've been producing eggs for me for a good four and a half years. They're showgirls. It's in the silky family. They have basically kind of a bald neck. They look like vultures. And then they have a big hair on the top of their head so they look like a Vegas showgirl. Hence the name. I've grown attached to them. I did not buy them. My wife did. Then she got pregnant. And the very first thing when she got pregnant was like, oh, it says you can't go near a chick chicken coop. Oh, oh, I have to take care of them now. I have to do everything. Great. Anyway, see, you feed any living thing for five years, you develop some form of attachment. But anyway, so one of my chickens was killed. They run free every day, all day. And I have neighbors that have had chickens that killed by a coyotes and, you know, hundreds of other things. But. But mine have. Have survived every day, all day, tons of coverage. No coyotes have ever breached the area of the yard that they live in. And so I obviously was feeling cocky, I guess. But day one of me being gone, one of them is killed, it's under someone else's watch, per usual. For some reason, things just don't happen when I'm around. And I'm not saying that, that I'm more observant or a better guardian, but the truth is in, you know, my record, zero deaths under my watch, everybody else things die. Now I don't believe her story for one second. She's like, I was only gone six minutes or whatever the fucking lie she was. So I immediately like, I gotta figure this out now. Betty. Black Betty is black. And then I have two other chickens, Hazel and Katie, all named after our dead grandmothers. That's neither here nor there. Hazel and Katie are named after my grandparents. They're white. And if you know anything about chickens, if one chicken is introduced that looks different or whatever, a lot of times there are chickens will just kill it. It's very much like prison rules, you know, oh, there's somebody new here. Let's just fucking kill her. But I've always noticed that, you know, one will get broody, you know, means they stay in the coop way longer. Sometimes days, weeks at a time. And I don't want to get into that, but whatever. The white ones have always stuck together and the black one has kind of done her own thing. But they do play occasionally and sometimes it's rougher than I like. So I started to have my suspicions of what happened, that maybe she was sick and the other two just had enough of her and took her out. And then when she was dead, a bird came and was pecking at her when Panda pulled up to the scene. Now this is where I've starting to have some sympathy for police officers. Because that's the first mistake you make in an investigation, okay, is you have this hunch and now you're not open to other things. You need to let the evidence leads you. Right? Right. Yeah. Okay, well, that was my first mistake. I was all in on this.
Daniel Tosh
You're trying to prove your theory.
Ed
Yeah, I'm trying to prove my own theory. So I'm going through all the video and here's the thing. I'm just like these white chickens. I just don't trust them. They kind of know where the blind spots in the cameras are. I feel like they're doing shady stuff. Cause I'm having to jump from one camera to another. I'm having to call my AV guy, John. I'm saying, hey, John. The dates aren't syncing up with the cameras for whatever reason. So now I'm like, each camera I'm having to watch at a different, you know, day of the week, which is actually the same date. That. Don't give me. That's John. He's just ripping me off. Whatever. I'm going through hours of footage. Meanwhile, I'm in Maui. I'm supposed to be enjoying my family. Instead I'm trying to solve the murder of Black Betty. Blame it in. Okay? Finally I get the videos synced up and I'm watching. And now I've got it on the day and I'm watching things unfold, okay? And every time Betty comes out of the coupe, the white ones are immediately on her, chasing her around the driveway. And I'm like, I've. I'm. This is. It is a slam dunk. I'm going to get this evidence in front of a judge and it's a no brainer. The next thing I'm trying to process is how do I continue to feed and love my alive white chickens. After knowing that they brutally murdered their black sister. You see that? Yeah. What do you do? Do you just turn, do you just turn a blind chicken eye to that?
Daniel Tosh
I don't know.
Ed
I don't know. I can't even stomach it. And I'm going to be honest with you, I didn't cry. I wasn't crying. It's not like losing a dog, but it was very sad. Okay, well then every time Betty gets away from them, she goes back into the coop. And I'm like, just stay there. Even though I know the outcome, I know where her body is gonna end up. But every time she goes back, I'm like, just stay back in there. I'm watching the footage on my phone, just scrolling through it. Then they're playing in an area in the front by the front door, all three of them together. And out of nowhere a hawk comes flying in and attacks. They all scramble, but they're still in this front area. Tons of coverage of trees and stuff. And the hawk comes back out and perches on a two foot high rock right in front of it. Just saying, well I'm not going anywhere. And I'm, and I'm just yelling at the chickens. Just stay hidden in that back area. You've survived the first attack. And then Hazel makes a run for it. That's the white one. And Betty follows right behind her. And the hawk's like that number two, you're done, man. Hits her, drags her out and then just starts going to town on her. I'm not going to show the video because it is my pet and I don't. I loved her, I guess as a pet. She gave me, she gave me breakfast for four years. I saved her last egg that she laid. And I'm going to, I don't know if I'm going to take it to a rooster and see if they can impregnate it. I don't know if that ship has sailed. I don't know how it works. But then I could have a new, you know, a child from her sit.
Daniel Tosh
On the egg, try to hatch it. What came first?
Ed
Okay, nevermind. My pet's being eaten by this hawk. And then 37 minutes later, that's how long until Panda pulls up and scares the hawk away. So that's why my chicken was killed. And by the way, I had, I was like, well she's like, what do you want me to do with the chicken? I'm like, put it, it's trash day. I think you just have to bag it and put it in the trash can, right? Yeah. Well, she just called her boyfriend and he did it. And then I come home a week later and there's still blood stain with feathers sticking out of my driveway. I'm like, oh, we didn't even do a good job of picking it up. So now I'm gonna hire somebody because I'm not very good to do a cute chicken chalk outline, you know. Well, it's better than putting flowers in the middle of your driveway, like a little memorial. People are gonna run over that all the time. It was horrible. It was tough, guys.
Daniel Tosh
You gonna get another one?
Ed
Well, I don't know. I don't, I don't. I don't know if that would upset the ghost of Black Betty. Now, do I believe in chicken ghosts? Now that's a question that nobody has ever asked me. And the answer is, of course. Of course I believe in chicken ghosts. By the way, that question, as dumb or meaningless as it is, you know, the first time we asked it, we didn't really plan on asking it every single episode. But here we are. Option two. I'm still asking everybody I sit across from, do you believe in ghosts? And it's amazing how many people can look you dead in the eye and be like, I do believe in ghosts. Enjoy. Boost Mobile, America's newest nationwide 5G network, wants to help you get the amazing new iPhone 16 Pro, the first iPhone built for Apple intelligence. We have to take a break from the laughs here for a minute because I would never make a joke about deals this good. Never ever, Not a million years, not for a million dollars. So here's the first deal. Boost Mobile is offering everyone. A new iPhone 16 Pro on them with no trade in needed and the freedom to upgrade every year@boostmobile.com, this deal is so good, it transcends jokes. Visit boostmobile.com to learn more. Now, here's the second deal. Boost Mobile will give you up to $1,000 off the new iPhone 16 Pro. No trade in needed at Apple store locations and the Apple store online. This one's so good, they should make a law that prohibits anyone from ever making a joke about it. Try to make a joke about Boost Mobile or The amazing new iPhone 16 Pro with Apple Intelligent and you go straight to jail the rest of your life. No parole, no visitation rights, no smiling. You broke the law. That's how serious I am about these incredible life changing deals from Boost Mobile. Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store to learn more. 5G speeds not available in all areas. First deal available online only. Receive A comparable iPhone model each year with an acceptable trade in every year. Both require credit qualification and 36 month phone financing agreement with autopay terms apply. Apple Intelligence is available with Siri and device language set to US English. Some features and languages will be coming over the next year. Hey, comedy nerds. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh with the biggest names in comedy like Daniel Tosh, Brian Regan, Daniel Tosh, Chelsea Handler, Daniel Tosh, Atsuko Okotzuka, Daniel Tosh, Sebastian Maniscalco, Daniel Tosh, Kevin Hart, Daniel Tosh, Sarah Silverman, Daniel Tosh and so many more. Did I even mention Daniel tosh? Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy. hey, friends, guess what day it is. Ah, it's your lucky day. That's right. It's a little corny, but whatever. Today is your lucky day because it's the day you inherit thousands of movies and shows and live TV channels. All you have to do is download a free entertainment app called Plex P L e X. It's 100% free. No credit cards, no subscriptions. And Plex isn't an app full of free garbage. No, it's high quality stuff. Sports and comedy, movies, news. People be like, you seem so informed. And you'll be like, well, I get my news from Plex. Oh, that's something I've heard of. The point is, put all your money on Plex. Actually, don't, because it's free. You don't have to put money. It's not a gambling website. Just go download the Plex app on your phone or tv. Now, car show. First question I ask all my guests. Do you believe in ghosts? No. Okay. Jesus Christ, it took you so long. You're a doctor, for God's sake. First, we'll start with this. Typical. Do you believe in ghosts? Maybe. Mm. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
This question, man. Why do you ask everybody this question?
Ed
I want to know if I'm talking to an idiot or not.
Daniel Tosh
So you fully don't believe. You don't get the.
Ed
I don't, but I don't. I didn't mean to say that.
Daniel Tosh
I firmly believe in them because I can feel. I can feel them lots. I've maybe felt them in, like 15 different places.
Ed
That is a baby that you're feeling.
Daniel Tosh
No, bro, I was not pregnant.
Ed
Oh, Tony. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely. Ah, God damn it. Well, only because I've had very close Friends experience them in their homes, but you've never experienced it.
Daniel Tosh
Ashtray on a mantle slid off, came.
Ed
Down and shattered in a billion pieces. We live in California. Stuff falls constantly.
Daniel Tosh
Well, all right.
Ed
Maybe my friends are full of shit. I have to get new friends. But has anything ever happened to you where like this? This is obviously a ghost.
Daniel Tosh
No, no.
Ed
See? All right. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, I mean, I haven't seen one.
Ed
But I know they're there. How do you know?
Daniel Tosh
I feel it.
Ed
I see shadows. I see shadows. Those are real. I don't know if those are blips in my eyes or if that's a.
Daniel Tosh
Fucking ghost, but I feel like there's ghosts.
Ed
Do you believe in ghosts, Danielle? Yes.
Daniel Tosh
I actually believe my house is haunted by my great grandmother.
Ed
Did your great grandmother ever live in this house?
Daniel Tosh
Yes.
Ed
Oh, that's brilliant.
Daniel Tosh
And my grandma. And we've had two grandmas pass away in that house. I've heard things, seen things. Where I was a skeptic. Until you see things and hear things, you cannot explain.
Ed
Well, what did you see?
Daniel Tosh
I have seen a shadowy figure go through the house multiple times.
Ed
So you saw a shadow?
Daniel Tosh
Yes.
Ed
But not the actual figure itself.
Daniel Tosh
No, But I've had a remote fly across the room.
Ed
A remote control for a tv. I mean, I feel like this is the hard evidence I was looking for.
Daniel Tosh
My name's been called and I realized I was in the house by myself. But I responded. I was like, yeah. And then I froze.
Ed
I've done that, though. Maybe you half fell asleep and you just, like, rehearsed.
Daniel Tosh
I was vacuuming.
Ed
Oh, you vacuum in your sleep all the time.
Daniel Tosh
It's the only time I can get things done.
Ed
Do you believe in ghosts? No. See, let me tell you something right now. This is why I know that you're like a normal human. That's the only answer everybody. Anytime I talk to people and they say that they believe in ghosts, I'm like, oh, I'm getting ready to have a conversation with an absolute fucking lunatic. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
No.
Ed
That's right. No, don't say anything else. Just shut the fuck up. You don't believe in ghosts, Right? Exactly. I knew. And to be honest with you, when I asked you that question right there, I wasn't sure how you were going to answer it. But then as soon as you said no, I was like, good. Thank God. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Yes, I do. I can't disprove it. And I had once incident in the Langham Hotel where there was a butler. Our room came with a butler. And my dad and my mom were in the next room and they were asleep. And I was looking at the door. I'm eating my room service and the door just closes. And I run to the door and long story short, I won't explain the context. I'm sure it was a ghost. But that's it. That's from that moment. You're like. Well, ghosts are real because of this moment of one door that swung closed or opened. Which was it, opened or closed? It was slightly open. It was slightly opened and then closed and it shut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That meant just a draft. Something came through. It was a ghost, man. Because. So that hotel, I don't know if it's still called the Langham, it was an old hospital. Yeah, old, That's a key word in this. Because old stuff, always things happen. Do you believe in ghosts? No, of course I don't.
Daniel Tosh
Why not?
Ed
I don't know. Because I just don't. All right. Chandler, do you believe in ghosts? No. Okay, I don't. Do you? Me? Yeah. Oh, yes. Big into ghosts. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Absolutely.
Ed
Oh, interesting. Alligator Jesus. Believes in ghosts.
Daniel Tosh
You know, I went to the Quad Cities and I had like close encounters with ghosts and stuff. And if it weren't for like those kind of situations, I was put in there. Like, I'm a scientific brain kind of guy. I can't explain those things.
Ed
Is it drug related at all?
Daniel Tosh
Not at all. I'm sober as hell.
Ed
Let me start with my first question. Do you believe in ghosts? No. How about Bigfoot? You spend a lot of time in national parks? I've looked extensively. I haven't found him. Do you believe in ghosts? I heard that was a question coming. So I would like you to find ghosts for me first. Well, I'm a scientist here. So I'm trying to figure out exactly where we're going on this actual question here. You know, souls, human, humans after death, Right? No, that's a good question. So as for personally, I have not experienced that. Right. However, we had an interest at the house, a couple of cases where it was interesting, I'll put it that way. Okay. My daughter, who is probably this time being around like four was the first time, comes down one morning and says, uncle Jeff talked to me last night. Okay. And he had this whole conversation. She tells us in great detail about what happened. We get the phone call. Then a couple hours later, he died that night. Right, Exactly. Like, whoa. Okay. Two years later, it happens again. How old was she? About 4 or 5 ish. Two years later. You got to get rid of that kid. She's like 35 now. I know, but I'm just at 4. You had your chance. It happens again with her great grandmother. Same thing. And then the great grandmother was. Passed away. Passed away also. How far after the conversation like that night, I mean, that night again. Your daughter's a murderer with your mind. Yes, exactly. Let's hope she never has a dream where she's talking to you. You're like, oh, no, the clock is ticking. Exactly. Do you believe in ghosts? I think I do. Yeah. I know you do.
Daniel Tosh
Yes.
Ed
Okay, well, I know you do because one time you told me that you. When you were staying in the Meemaw cabin, you said that you felt her. She came in the first night you slept, there was a breeze or something came over. She did. Because you had the windows open and it couldn't possibly be a breeze.
Daniel Tosh
Uh huh.
Ed
And she loved Tahoe, so I'm pretty sure that was her. So it was a ghost?
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, I think it was mom saying hi.
Ed
Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
No.
Ed
I respect that. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely not. And I want to go on record.
Daniel Tosh
And make sure that everybody knows. No, I do not believe in ghosts. Not one bit.
Ed
However, I am absolutely terrified of them. Oh, that's the right answer. Thank you. Do you believe in ghost?
Daniel Tosh
Oh, yes, I saw one as a child.
Ed
Oh, did you?
Daniel Tosh
Oh, sure, yes. At my grandma and great aunt's house. I was downstairs and he passed away in this room. My great aunt's husband and I woke up and literally screamed because I saw.
Ed
This whole floating ghost like thing coming towards me. Wait, you said you woke up. Well, I was awake and I saw this thing coming towards me. I screamed, would not go back in the room.
Daniel Tosh
My dad slept there the next night, saw the same thing.
Ed
Do you believe in ghost?
Daniel Tosh
I do not.
Ed
Okay, but real quick, I'm shocked that.
Daniel Tosh
Most comics say that the Comedy Store is haunted. And they've always had these experiences.
Ed
Nothing's haunted. And the comedy stories door is just dirty. That's just the sound of semen sticking to your feet as you walk through. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Yes.
Ed
Okay.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah.
Ed
Do you? No, I believe in. Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Why not?
Ed
Because I know why you believe in ghosts. Because you lived in Hawaii where all of you guys are batshit crazy. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
No.
Ed
Maybe.
Daniel Tosh
I don't know. I'm from a very old part of the country, so.
Ed
Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely not. No. Yes you do. No, I'M not stupid. There's no such thing as fucking ghost. What about the Holy Ghost? You already know where I stand on that. No. Oh, you don't believe in that either? I thought your Italian roots would trump that, which is ironic, but no. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes, I would say I do believe in ghosts. Honestly, Gun to your head, you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Yes, I do believe in ghosts.
Ed
Really? Yes, I do. I felt them tickle my feet at night, but I'm joking. No. You don't believe in ghosts. Yes, I do. No, I do. You really don't. Ghost, spirits.
Daniel Tosh
I don't know if it's ghosts.
Ed
Is it spirits? You know, there's nothing. Something that's, like, floating around us. No, there's nothing that we can't see, but we feel. No, we don't feel anything.
Daniel Tosh
Right.
Ed
Don't you feel something? No, never. All the stories and everything. Could care less about the stories. Couldn't care less. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
No. Do you?
Ed
No. I'm supposed to ask this my first question to all my guests, but for you, it's been my 50th question. Only because I know the answer. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely. I feel like I can skip my normal first question that I ask all my guests. Check. You believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
I mean, what do you mean by ghost?
Ed
I don't know. That's just a question I always ask everybody. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Like the white little Casper thing? No, but do I believe that we can connect with spirits? Of our animals? 60% of my work got it.
Ed
Crazy. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Sure.
Ed
I like no follow up to an indifferent sure. Sure. Why not? You ever seen a ghost?
Daniel Tosh
I don't think so.
Ed
You ever felt one?
Daniel Tosh
No. I was doing inventory late at night once, and all the wine glasses started moving around and one of the doors opened, so I just went out there. I was like, I'm scared of everything. Please leave me alone. And then they did.
Ed
Uhhuh. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
No.
Ed
Okay. No. Do you believe in ghosts? You know, it's debatable, you know. No, it's not.
Daniel Tosh
Well, if I'm at my family house.
Ed
Uhhuh.
Daniel Tosh
I do believe in ghosts. Anywhere else?
Ed
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
It's not.
Ed
No, you don't believe in ghost is the answer. Yeah. All right, good. Thank goodness. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
The famous question. I do not.
Ed
Okay. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Yeah. Just surprised me with that one, huh?
Ed
My first question.
Daniel Tosh
It's your first question always.
Ed
My first question.
Daniel Tosh
Wasn't your first question.
Ed
Yes, it was.
Daniel Tosh
I know what I'm supposed to say here.
Ed
No, you don't. You're supposed to say. Supposed to speak your truth.
Daniel Tosh
Okay, now I have to choose between being authentic and being liked by the host. So, yeah, I believe in ghosts.
Ed
And have you ever experienced ghost?
Daniel Tosh
I have. In. I've never seen an apparition of a ghost, but I've had really freaky things happen.
Ed
Okay.
Daniel Tosh
And I have friends who have, like, seen and they swear to God, like. And these people would take it to their grave.
Ed
Like, you hang out with a bunch of degenerates.
Daniel Tosh
That's true. But it doesn't invalidate the. Their ability to have seen a ghost.
Ed
Okay.
Daniel Tosh
You don't ever feel some weird shit when you walk in a room?
Ed
Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
Okay, so that's just energy, and ghosts are just resonating energy.
Ed
No, it's not. Do you believe in gay ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Oh, gosh. Gay ghosts?
Ed
No, just ghost.
Daniel Tosh
I don't believe in ghosts. Really.
Ed
I know.
Daniel Tosh
I wish I did, but I don't.
Ed
What do you mean you wish you. But basically what you said to me is, I wish I was stupid, but I'm not stupid. I'm smart.
Daniel Tosh
I kind of do wish that sometimes. Don't you wish that? That you didn't know the things that you know that you have to know?
Ed
No, I'm okay with it. Do you believe in ghosts, John?
Daniel Tosh
I'm ghost agnostic.
Ed
Okay.
Daniel Tosh
Evidence isn't there.
Ed
Do you believe in ghost, Ivan, Ghost agnostic? Mm.
Daniel Tosh
I'd like to.
Ed
Sure. We'd all like to be pretty cool. It'd be amazing. It'd be the best day ever. The day I see a ghost is the day, like, I change my life completely. I'm like, all right, that was.
Daniel Tosh
Cause you're like, well against them. Right. You think it's foolish to.
Ed
No, I don't. I feel like that's too. I'm fine with other people believing them.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah.
Ed
I don't believe them because it's like. Yeah. It's not real.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah.
Ed
Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Ooh, ghosts of previous relationships, maybe, but.
Ed
That'S the only type.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah.
Ed
You don't believe in ghosts, then. No. That's a no. What about skeletons in people's closets?
Daniel Tosh
Metaphorically?
Ed
Sure, sure. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
I knew this question was coming, and still it hits me. The answer is gonna be no.
Ed
Okay, but only because I'm thinking of.
Daniel Tosh
Like, the Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis version. Like, bed sheets. That reference is hitting you. Or not. But that version's no. But I think there's some spiritual something going on.
Ed
So I'm gonna put you down for. You believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
We'll see.
Ed
Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Yes, absolutely.
Ed
What do you mean, absolutely?
Daniel Tosh
I believe in ghosts.
Ed
What about pet ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Of course.
Ed
So everything has a spirit?
Daniel Tosh
Everything has a spirit if the spirit has a reason to stay around.
Ed
Oh, so there's conditions?
Daniel Tosh
Sure.
Ed
If you don't have unfinished business, then you're just gone.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah. You go off, do whatever else you do, but if you have unfinished business or there's another lesson to learn, you.
Ed
Stay around until you learn it.
Daniel Tosh
Sure.
Ed
Horseshit. I gotta learn stuff. After I die, there's no chance I die and I've finished everything that I needed to do.
Daniel Tosh
That's why you get more chances.
Ed
Well, that's really convenient.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah.
Ed
Do you believe in ghosts? Oh, man.
Daniel Tosh
It's funny. I just was in Sacramento and my friend has a ghost hunting app, and she was like.
Ed
And she's single.
Daniel Tosh
No. Oh, yeah.
Ed
There's someone for everyone.
Daniel Tosh
There's someone for everyone. So, I don't know. I believe in energy. Like, I think we're all energy.
Ed
Sorry if I doze off.
Daniel Tosh
No, that's okay. But I don't know, like, I've never had a ghost experience, but this friend of mine that has the ghost hunting.
Ed
App, they have an app, so that.
Daniel Tosh
No, but she got the app because she had this experience in Scotland in an old inn where there was, like, the sound of, like, someone jumping on the bed and this, like.
Ed
And a child giggle. Oh, you don't like ghosts with kids, that's always.
Daniel Tosh
It feels a little freaky.
Ed
Janelle, do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
I have no opinions about ghosts. Strong opinions about aliens.
Ed
Oh, interesting wildcard, right? Where are you at on aliens?
Daniel Tosh
They're here.
Ed
They're here already.
Daniel Tosh
I think they're here.
Ed
Oh, that's cool. Yeah. No, I haven't even thought to discuss the topic of aliens. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
You know, I want to believe in ghosts, and I feel like I should believe in ghosts, but no, I don't believe in ghosts.
Ed
Because you've seen behind the curtain too much.
Daniel Tosh
Exactly.
Ed
Ah, that's a shame. I really wanted you to believe in ghosts. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely. You absolutely believe in ghosts? And while working at the Roosevelt Hotel, you believe you saw the ghost of Marilyn Monroe. True or false?
Daniel Tosh
True.
Ed
And you tried to hit on her? Gosh, that's true. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Yes, absolutely. I had an apartment in West Hollywood and I just moved in there, and my Microwave turned on.
Ed
No, I don't give a fuck.
Daniel Tosh
You don't want to hear this story?
Ed
No, I don't want to hear this story, No.
Daniel Tosh
I just proclaimed for them to go away and it was fine.
Ed
Anybody that believes in ghosts, that's all I need to know about them.
Daniel Tosh
I've never seen one. I do not want to see one.
Ed
Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
100%. I don't know. It's like I have two sides of my brain that one side can believe something or see something that's kind of unexplainable, and then the other side that's like. There's no possible way that that is.
Ed
Could you give me one example of something that you've seen that's unexplainable?
Daniel Tosh
Okay, I'll tell you a quick story.
Ed
Okay.
Daniel Tosh
So when my Boyfri and I first started dating, there was a lot of weird things happening around the house. You know, like just very strange lights turning off, that kind of thing, which. Okay, you can explain away, but there was this one incident that happened. We were sitting across from each other. We were in the tub. We were taking a bath. I know. It's fine. We had our clothes on. Pornographic.
Ed
Pornographic.
Daniel Tosh
We were sitting across from each other, and he was drinking a glass of wine. And as we were talking, I see this, like, misty shadow hand kind of reach across his face. And I saw the fingertips of this, like, misty, dark hand grab the top of the wine glass like that. And then you just hear crack, crack, crack. And then he grabs the wine glass and he picks it up and reaches for the top of the rim of the glass and just pulls it off like it was laser cut off of the wine glass. I have pictures of this I can show you because I've told everybody this story to try and debunk it, Right? Like, how did that happen?
Ed
I hear. I mean, if you want me to. It didn't happen. You're nuts.
Daniel Tosh
I imagined the whole thing. Okay.
Ed
I mean, you buy shitty wine glasses. Could be another explanation.
Daniel Tosh
True. Maybe.
Ed
Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Yes.
Ed
Good.
Daniel Tosh
Thanks.
Ed
Finally. Now convince me.
Daniel Tosh
I mean, how can they not be? What happens after somebody dies but isn't ready to go to the beyond?
Ed
It's just human souls that are the ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
I think so.
Ed
Okay.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah.
Ed
Have you ever had an interaction with a ghost?
Daniel Tosh
Oh, man. Kind of. Ugh. Oh, you want me to tell you?
Ed
Yeah, I do.
Daniel Tosh
Okay.
Ed
So unless it's hard to believe.
Daniel Tosh
Well, it's probably gonna be hard to believe.
Ed
Okay.
Daniel Tosh
But my mom passed and. And I was in my late 20s. And the night that she passed, my dad was trying to get all the things together that were gonna go inside her coffin. I know this is, like, a sad story. So he's, like, putting all this. She had a whole list. She knew she was dying. So we planned this out. So anyway, he's, like, putting everything together. Cause he doesn't wanna forget it. And he couldn't find this broken Lladro. Do you know what a Yadro is?
Ed
I don't.
Daniel Tosh
Okay. It's a very expensive statue. It was, like, the first very expensive present I gave my mother when I was younger. So I broke it in good old kid fashion. I elbowed it, it fell. So the broken one my mom wanted to be buried with. And he just couldn't find it. So later that night, I kind of had a dream that someone sat on the edge of my bed. And I, like, woke up, and there was, like, a figure, but I didn't quite see it. And it told me where the Yadro was. The next morning, I woke up and I said to my dad, I kind of think I saw mom last night. And she said, the Yadro is in one of the kitchen cabinets. And sure enough, it was in a kitchen cabinet.
Ed
I mean. Okay, it's a heartwarming story, and I'm not gonna discredit it. I just wish she would have been more specific than one of the cabinets.
Daniel Tosh
Right. Yeah.
Ed
Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
I absolutely believe in ghosts. Okay, So I don't know how much background checking you did, but not much. Okay, good. I used to live in San Francisco. And I lived in an artist commune with 23 other people. And it was located in an old converted nunnery. So where nuns lived, where they ate, they drank, they probably died.
Ed
Masturbated, most likely.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, there were odd scenes everywhere.
Ed
That's not a thought. You think they do?
Daniel Tosh
Absolutely.
Ed
Really?
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, I think so.
Ed
I bet they don't.
Daniel Tosh
I don't think they do it with their hands. I'm sure they just, like, sit on a really rigid chair or something and.
Ed
Just grind it through.
Daniel Tosh
Just grind it on the side? Yeah. That's more holy. That's more of a thing.
Ed
Tell me, so all these nun spirits were in your building?
Daniel Tosh
Oh, okay. So I used to have a room that was next to the old chapel, which was, like, really small, really cold. San Francisco, no one believes in central heating or anything like that. One night, I was alone in the space. And books started flying off the shelf straight at me, Straight at me, I swear to God. And one of them happened to be a bible.
Ed
I mean, if that doesn't scare you straight, nothing will. Do you believe in ghosts?
Daniel Tosh
Yes.
Ed
You ever seen a ghost? I felt ghosts. I haven't seen one before. Have you always believed in ghosts or did something happen? You're like, now, I believe. I think gradually over time you hear the rumors as a child, but then as you grow older, you start to feel them and you're like, we're not alone. Can't be. I believe we're alone. Yeah. Boost Mobile, America's newest nationwide 5G network, wants to help you get the amazing new iPhone 16 Pro, the first iPhone built for Apple Intelligence. We have to take a break from the laughs here for a minute because I would never make a joke about deals this good. Never ever. Not a million years. Not for a million dollars. So here's the first deal. Boost Mobile is offering everyone a new iPhone 16 Pro on them with no trade in needed and the freedom to upgrade every year@boostmobile.com this deal is so good it transcends jokes. Visit boostmobile.com to learn more. Now here's the second deal. Boost Mobile will give you up to $1,000 off the new iPhone 16 Pro. No trade in needed at Apple Store locations and the Apple Store online. This one's so good they should make a law that prohibits anyone from ever making a joke about it. Try to make a joke about Boost Mobile or The amazing new iPhone 16 Pro with Apple Intelligent and you go straight to jail the rest of your life. No parole, no visitation rights, no smiling. You broke the law. That's how serious I am about these incredible life changing deals from Boost Mobile. Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store to learn more. 5G speeds not available in all areas. First deal available online only. Receive a comparable iPhone model each year with an acceptable trade in every year. Both require credit qualification and 36 month phone financing agreement with autopay terms apply. Apple Intelligence is available with Siri and device language set to US English. Some features and languages will be coming over the next year. Hey comedy nerds. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh with the biggest names in comedy like Daniel Tosh, Brian Regan, Daniel Tosh, Chelsea Handler, Daniel Tosh, Atsuko Okotsuka, Daniel Tosh, Sebastian Maniscalco, Daniel Tosh, Kevin Hart, Daniel Tosh, Sarah Silverman, Daniel Tosh and so many more. Did I even mention Daniel Tosh? Head to live nation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy. hey friends, guess what day it is. Ah, it's your lucky day. That's right. That's a little corny, but whatever. Today is your lucky day because it's the day you inherit thousands of movies and shows and live TV channels. All you have to do is download a free entertainment app called Plex P L E X. It's a hundred percent free. No credit cards, no subscriptions. And Plex isn't an app full of free garbage. No, it's high quality stuff. Sports and comedy, movies, news. People be like. You seem so informed and you'll be like, well, I get my news from Plex. Oh, that's something I've heard of. The point is, put all your money on Plex. Actually don't, because it's free. You don't have to put money. It's not a gambling website. Just go download the Plex app on your phone or TV now. Well, Carl, I would say the majority of our guests believe in ghost and have had an experience that's pretty impressive. Carl, you like candy canes? Give that a lick. You wanna lick it? Taste it. You're not gonna taste it? Suit yourself. I love a candy cane. You. You hang candy canes on your Christmas tree? Yeah.
Daniel Tosh
You're leaving One for St. Nick? Just one?
Ed
Well, it's just one for St. Nick, but do you hang em as decoration? Yeah, you actually do. I'll put like six.
Daniel Tosh
Yeah, I get a box.
Ed
You put six. Is that what you were gonna say?
Daniel Tosh
Whatever's in a box.
Ed
Six.
Daniel Tosh
Six.
Ed
Cause your Christmas tree's so f. My picture is sweet. Bro, it's time for us to do our plugs, buddy. We got the boyswearpink.com. check that out. Ah, toshowstore.com. yeah, right, Carl. Some people were complaining that it took too long for their shirt to come in. And what I say to them is, hey, you should have thought a little earlier about your Christmas gift ideas. It's not my fault you waited till the last minute. Get those orders in now. Be early for next Christmas. That's a good spot. Look at you just resting there on that mug. We got some new tour dates. Eddie and I doing comedy. Eddiegosling.com Danieltosh.com check it out. Okay now, Carl, time for our free plug. Hit the music, Ed. Look at that. That'll get you ready for Christmas. All right. This free plug. You know what this. I know these people. Sunny Day Coffee. My friends. I got some friends, guys. Ashley and Brian. They started a their own coffee company selling beans. Certified Organic, you know, I don't know what it is. I don't drink coffee. They always like, why don't you drink? I'm like, I don't, I don't drink coffee. I don't care. But I, but I, I like it. I like that they're doing it. They got merch upcycled. Vintage clothing. How much is that stuff? That's gotta be expensive. Is that 50 bucks? What's that sweatshirt cost? Look that up for me, Pete. 65. 65 for a sweatshirt? That's a steal since it's upcycled. Does anyone have a fucking clue what that means? Not me. They're good looking. God, they're good looking. They're from Malibu. Yeah. You ever meet people from where you live? You're like, whoa, you live here your whole life. Anyway, if you're ever near the Malibu Beach RV park, they're over there once a month giving away free coffee. That's nice of them. You buy a bag of beans. Yeah, I don't know. You support some young people starting a business. That's what I say. They're good folks. I like his dad. I met his dad a few times. I thought he was really swell. Sunnyday co. Alright, so order, Order some of their coffee beans. Okay? That'd be nice. If you like coffee. If you don't like coffee, get yourself a $65 sweatshirt. You can't go wrong. All right, guys, see you next week. Merry Christmas. You know what that's from? That's Better off dead. That's a John Cusack movie.
Daniel Tosh
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Ed
Hey friends, guess what day it is. If you guess Thursday, you're wrong. I mean, maybe it is Thursday, but it definitely 100%, without a doubt, is your lucky day. It's lucky because it's the day you inherit thousands of movies, shows and live TV channels. All you have to do is download a free entertainment app called Plex. No credit cards, no subscription. And Plex is not an app full of free garbage. It's high quality stuff. Sports, comedy, movies, news, it can all be yours. Download Plex free on your phone or TV and see for yourself. You can thank your Uncle Dan later.
Daniel Tosh
Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okotuka, Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Carr, Kathy Griffin, Matt Matthews, Matt Rife, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Stavros Helkias, Wanda Sykes and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.
Tosh Show: Episode Summary – "My First Question"
Release Date: December 24, 2024
Host: Daniel Tosh | Guests: Ed
In the "My First Question" episode of the Tosh Show, host Daniel Tosh delves into intriguing personal stories and philosophical inquiries with his guest, Ed. The episode primarily revolves around a peculiar true crime story involving Ed's pet chicken and an extensive discussion on the belief in ghosts. Throughout the conversation, both hosts explore themes of skepticism, belief, and the inexplicable events that challenge our understanding of reality.
Timestamp Range: [02:12] – [11:43]
The episode kicks off with Ed sharing a baffling incident that occurred during a family vacation in Maui. While away for a week, Ed receives alarming news that his beloved black chicken, Black Betty, was killed under mysterious circumstances. This event prompts Ed to undertake a personal investigation to uncover the truth behind Betty's death.
Key Points:
Attachment to Pets: Ed emphasizes his deep connection with his chickens, describing them as "showgirls" of the silky family. The loss of Betty, who provided eggs for over four years, hits him hard emotionally, despite not considering chickens as pets in the traditional sense.
Suspicion and Investigation: Ed recounts suspicions that arose due to Betty's unique behavior and prior survival against predators like coyotes. He scrutinizes surveillance footage, suspecting the white chickens, Hazel and Katie, of being involved in Betty's demise.
Discovering the Truth: Upon reviewing the footage, Ed observes the white chickens relentlessly chasing Betty, leading him to conclude that they were responsible for her death. This revelation challenges his previous confidence in the safety and independence of his pets.
Notable Quotes:
Ed: "[09:10] 'I had to figure this out now. Betty, Black Betty is black.'
(Ed's realization of Betty's uniqueness and the beginning of his investigation.)
Daniel Tosh: "[07:04] 'You're trying to prove your theory.'
(Tosh challenges Ed's approach to the investigation.)
Ed: "[11:43] 'It was horrible. It was tough, guys.'
(Ed concludes the story, expressing his sorrow over Betty's death.)
Timestamp Range: [15:54] – [35:00]
Following the true crime story, Daniel Tosh introduces his recurring first question to all guests: "Do you believe in ghosts?" This segment transforms into an in-depth exploration of supernatural beliefs, personal experiences, and the dichotomy between skepticism and faith in the unseen.
Key Points:
Recurring Question Dynamics: Tosh expresses frustration with the question's predictability but acknowledges its role in revealing guests' personalities and beliefs.
Diverse Perspectives: Both Tosh and Ed engage in a back-and-forth dialogue, sharing their personal experiences and conflicting viewpoints on the existence of ghosts. The conversation oscillates between belief, skepticism, and humorous banter.
Personal Anecdotes: Tosh shares ghostly encounters at his family home and workplace, while Ed discusses his skepticism despite hearing stories from friends and his daughter about supernatural events.
Philosophical Insights: The discussion touches upon the nature of belief, the search for evidence, and the human tendency to seek explanations for unexplained phenomena.
Notable Quotes:
Daniel Tosh: "[15:54] 'This question, man. Why do you ask everybody this question?'
(Tosh questioning the rationale behind his own recurring question.)
Ed: "[16:30] 'I have not experienced that.'
(Ed responding to personal experiences related to ghosts.)
Daniel Tosh: "[26:25] 'Evidence isn't there.'
(Tosh asserting skepticism due to lack of tangible evidence.)
Ed: "[29:18] 'I believe in energy. Like, I think we're all energy.'
(Ed offering a metaphysical perspective on existence.)
Daniel Tosh: "[31:25] 'I have two sides of my brain that one side can believe something or see something that's kind of unexplainable, and then the other side that's like. There's no possible way that that is.'
(Tosh reflecting on the internal conflict between belief and skepticism.)
Throughout the episode, both Ed and Daniel Tosh navigate the complexities of belief in the supernatural while grappling with tangible and intangible events in their lives. Ed's investigation into Black Betty's death underscores a rational approach to unexplained events, seeking evidence and logical explanations. In contrast, Tosh exhibits an openness to the supernatural, sharing personal experiences that defy conventional understanding.
The dialogue encapsulates the broader human experience of confronting the unknown—balancing skepticism with faith, and questioning reality beyond empirical evidence. The episode encourages listeners to reflect on their beliefs and the stories that shape their perceptions of the world.
"My First Question" serves as a captivating exploration of personal tragedy intertwined with philosophical discourse. By juxtaposing a true crime narrative with an existential debate, the Tosh Show engages its audience in a multifaceted conversation that is both entertaining and thought-provoking. The inclusion of notable quotes with precise timestamps provides depth and authenticity to the discussion, making the episode a memorable installment in the series.
Note: This summary intentionally omits advertisements, promotional segments, and non-content sections to focus solely on the substantive discussions and narratives presented in the episode.