My French Friend Returns - Pierre Labasque

Summary

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Tosh Show: "My French Friend Returns – Pierre Labasque"

Host: Daniel Tosh
Guest: Pierre Labasque
Date: October 28, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, Daniel Tosh welcomes back fan-favorite and "Tosh Show" legend, Pierre Labasque, his charismatic French friend, for an encore interview. Two years after his previous appearance, Pierre reunites with Tosh to share updates about his life, exchange cultural banter, reminisce on classic stories, and deliver new tales of awkward encounters, travel misadventures, and French quirks. True to form, the episode brims with laughter, teasing, and deeply personal revelations, all delivered in Daniel's signature no-holds-barred comedic style and Pierre’s unfiltered charm.

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Main Discussion Points & Segments

1. Catching Up & Return to the Show

• Pierre’s Emotional Journey (16:01–18:20)
  • Pierre shares his initial anxiety about being on Tosh Show, worrying he’d be deported or lose his job over what he said.
  • On being recognized: “Even at the bank, the banker recognized me: ‘Oh, are you the guy from Tosh?’... if he sees my bank account it’s no good because I don't have much money.” (18:10 – Pierre)
  • Pierre admits the attention hasn’t led to the romantic opportunities he’d hoped for, despite some odd fan DMs.
• Why the Delay in Returning (15:42–17:47)
  • His discomfort stemmed from having filmed before seeing any episode; asked Tosh not to air his segment, worried about fallout, but was reassured by friends and Tosh's wife.

2. Culture, Food, and French Quirks

• French Breakfast Rituals (14:22–15:26)
  • Pierre describes his morning bread and jam dipped in coffee served in a bowl, much to Tosh’s bemusement.
    • “I drink my coffee in a bowl, not a mug, with milk and coffee.” (14:37 – Pierre)
    • Tosh: “Most humans don’t drink from a bowl.” (15:22)
• Pierre’s Eating Habits & Culinary Confessions (27:44–32:12)
  • Hilarious recount of a first date ruined by digestive issues and a non-soundproof bathroom.
  • Tosh mocks Pierre’s meals: “Are you still making your weird pasta, macaroni, hot dog dishes?” (29:33)
  • Pierre notes a famous chef wanted to use his mashed potato and hotdog concoction.

3. Vegas, Gambling, and Pierre’s Big Win

• Blackjack Story (06:03–09:20)
  • Daniel entices Pierre onto the show by offering a $1,000 hand of blackjack in Vegas.
  • Pierre, nervous and superstitious about the Asian dealer: “No, no, no, the dealers are all Asian...I don’t think that’s a good sign.” (07:42 – Pierre)
  • He wins $1,000, is overwhelmed by how easy it seemed, and is giddy all weekend.
  • Daniel: “Now I’ve introduced him to something way safer than poontang. Gambling.” (09:48)
  • Memorable quote: “That only took a few seconds and I made $1,000. We just gotta stay here.” (09:09 – Daniel recounting Pierre)

4. Spa Antics, Surfer Tales, and Male Bonding

• Spa Incident, Sauna Creep (21:09–24:00)
  • Pierre confronts a man in a spa who gawks at Daniel: “‘Hey man, you got a problem?’…he was looking under your towel.” (23:00 – Pierre)
  • Daniel: “I was being sexually gawked!” (23:30)
• Surfing Adventures, Mishaps, and Jokes (40:45–42:22)
  • Wave pool “butt, f*ck you” prank leads Pierre to get sucked into the wave machine.
  • Tosh and Pierre poke fun at each other’s wetsuits and surfing habits.
  • “People are gonna think we’re making love to each other.” (42:01 – Daniel Tosh)

5. Life Changes and Career Moves

• Coral Gardeners & Saving the Reefs (32:37–34:41)
  • Pierre is now working for Coral Gardeners, traveling between LA, France, and Tahiti.
  • Tosh admires his “dream job”: “You’re restoring coral reefs throughout the world…get to work from home and go to Tahiti.” (32:44 – Daniel Tosh)
  • Pierre shares: “The people are very, very nice…insane colors, beautiful.” (33:08)

6. Personal Growth, Relationships & Sobriety

• Sobriety Update (27:06–27:17)
  • Pierre confirms he’s over two years sober.
• On Relationships & Women (42:24–43:19)
  • Rejects idea of settling down: “No, the more I think about it, no. I like the feeling of being in love, but you become different. You lose your focus.” (42:52 – Pierre)
  • Perfect woman: “Short, brunette, blue eyes, petite.” (43:19 – Pierre, teasing Tosh whose wife fits that description)
• Fan Encounters & DMs (18:40–20:24)
  • Pierre recalls weird fan videos, including one with “a thumb on the butt, I thought she was just itchy.” (20:14 – Pierre)

7. Odd Jobs, Diets, Pet-sitting & French Luck

• Pet-sitting and Animal Antics (44:41–45:07)
  • Pierre, not a pet person, confesses to pet-sitting despite lacking enthusiasm for animals.
• Lucky Sweater & Gifts Segment (46:06–49:05)
  • Tosh restocks Pierre’s wardrobe with luxury sweaters: “There’s probably not a sweater under $400 I’m giving you.” (47:08 – Daniel Tosh)
  • Tosh gifts Pierre a rare French soft top surfboard and other presents, prompting banter about style and practicality.

8. Travel, Homesickness, Family

• Travel Logistics (50:58–51:54)
  • Pierre details the marathon journey from Malibu to his family home in France: “18 hours to get to your house. That is so long, Pierre.” (51:54 – Daniel Tosh)
• Dreams of Visiting Tahiti and France (34:08–34:19)
  • Tosh expresses desire for Pierre to take him to Tahiti; Pierre is non-committal about returning to France full time.

9. Listener Interaction & Amanda’s Suitors

• Listening to Voicemails (54:49–60:42)
  • Aftershow segment where Daniel and Ed listen to potential suitors leaving messages for Amanda, Daniel’s wife’s cousin.
  • Notable voicemails:
    • “I’m 100% pure hunk. Six-foot-four…well, six-foot-two.” (54:59 – Caller)
    • Listener claims to have the cure for Amanda’s recurring “balloon” eye: “It’s a form of rosacea…you take minocycline capsules, 50mg…” (58:08 – Jim)
    • Conversation ends with Jim fangirling over Daniel’s early standup: “I’ve been a fan since the beginning, since Comedy Central back before your hair plugs!” (60:20 – Jim)

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Notable Quotes

• Pierre, on fame: “If he’s finding out [about seeing me on the podcast], everybody’s gonna find out—and I’m screwed.” (17:47)
• Daniel Tosh, on surfing: “Now people are just going to think we’re making love to each other.” (42:01)
• Pierre, on accidental celebrity: “Some girls, they were good, they still find me…either on LinkedIn or Instagram.” (19:44)
• Pierre, describing culture clash: “You, you eat, I don’t know—you mix lunch and dinner at the same time.” (32:07)
• Pierre, about his love life: “I make love. I don’t have sex. I make love. I’m a lover.” (43:07)
• Daniel, on Pierre’s new life: “You wanted to do something meaningful.” (34:52)
• Pierre, on travel to France: “I came here 16 years ago, for three months. I never left.” (50:37)
• Daniel, on his gift-giving: “There’s probably not a sweater that I’m giving you that’s under $400.” (47:08)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [06:03–09:20] — Vegas Blackjack story (Pierre’s big casino win)
• [14:22–15:26] — French breakfast quirks (coffee in a bowl)
• [15:42–18:20] — Pierre’s anxiety about being aired on Tosh Show
• [18:40–20:24] — Fan interactions and weird DMs
• [21:09–24:00] — Sauna story and confronting the spa gawker
• [27:06–27:17] — Pierre’s two years of sobriety
• [27:44–32:12] — Digestion disasters, Pierre’s meals, and cultural food differences
• [32:37–34:41] — Pierre’s new job restoring coral reefs and traveling
• [40:45–42:22] — Surfing stories and wetsuit jokes
• [46:06–49:05] — Pierre receives a haul of luxury sweaters and a rare surfboard
• [50:58–51:54] — The epic journey from Malibu to Pierre’s family in France
• [54:49–60:42] — Listener voicemails: Amanda’s potential suitors, “pure hunk,” and eye cure

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode ebbs between playful mockery, candid reflections, and endearing friendship. Daniel and Pierre’s rapport is as tight as ever, mixing heartfelt moments (“You’re my soulmate”—Pierre, 14:11) with the sort of ribald humor and absurd situations Tosh fans expect.
Listeners get a sense of Pierre’s transformation: he’s more settled, working a meaningful job, sober, but just as much an accidental clown as he was two years prior. Daniel, ever the provocateur, delights in drawing out Pierre’s quirks, blunders, and earnest anxieties for comedic gold.

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Final Thoughts

"My French Friend Returns" offers an offbeat, intimate window into real friendship, cross-cultural banter, and the messy, relatable stuff of midlife. The episode is laden with laugh-out-loud stories, memorable one-liners, and the unique chemistry Daniel and Pierre share—cementing Pierre’s place in the Tosh Show lore.

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Transcript

[Daniel Tosh]

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[Pete]

Morning Zoe. Got donuts.

[Eddie]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[Pete]

Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you Teach me. So Dana.

[Eddie]

Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at T Mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

[Pete]

Wow, impressive. Let me try. T mobile is the best place get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network.

[Pierre]

Nice.

[Eddie]

Jeffrey, you heard them.

[Daniel Tosh]

T mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition.

[Pete]

So what are we having for launch?

[Eddie]

Dude, my work here is done.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

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[Daniel Tosh]

Data1H20T mobile.com hey guys, thanks for listening. Please like and subscribe. Rate and review. All good stuff. Positive. Miss you, Brody. Talk about that one time that you made love to a man in Vegas.

[Pierre]

Yeah, I got tricked.

[Daniel Tosh]

To show. Posh show. Tosh show. Welcome to Tosh. It's another week. Eddie's back. How was your vacation, Eddie?

[Ed]

Great vacation. Went to dc.

[Daniel Tosh]

The District of Columbia.

[Ed]

Oh yeah?

[Daniel Tosh]

Everything go well?

[Ed]

Everything went swimmingly.

[Daniel Tosh]

R.I.P. colonel. General.

[Pierre]

Colonel.

[Daniel Tosh]

Colonel.

[Pierre]

Colonel.

[Daniel Tosh]

Gossip got it on the right first try. Emotional.

[Ed]

Emotional?

[Daniel Tosh]

You took the family in front of the Epstein memorial.

[Ed]

On the way out of town we went by the Epstein Trump statue.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's a real thing. See now a lot of people, including my in laws, they thought that that was just some AI hoax. But you're telling us that there is a Trump Epstein permitted statue in D.C. that you can visit?

[Ed]

It's called something like friendship. Eternal friendship.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, that's nice. And you took a photo in front of it with the kids.

[Ed]

Took a photo.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh man. Well, we don't want to throw off the algorithm by talking about Epstein too much up top. But that's nice. That's nice that they honored Trump and his friendship. Yeah, good stuff. I, too, laid someone to rest this week. Another chicken of mine passed away. Now, didn't get the same bells and whistles. I just put her in a bag and put her in the trash can. But the thing is, she was doing fine. She had an infection on her neck, and that had been going on for six months to a year.

[Pierre]

Okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

You know, I don't like to. It's a chicken.

[Ed]

It might go away.

[Daniel Tosh]

It might go away. Didn't seem like it was affecting her personality or her level of enjoyment in life or comfort. She was still laying eggs. But then I was like, you know what? I'm gonna have a mobile vet come out and look at it. And she came out and she cleaned her with some, you know, medicine and scraped a bunch of it off and clipped a bunch of it. And I was like. And it started looking better in two or three days. And then I saw her just standing in the driveway, just in the middle of the driveway with, like, flies around her. I'm like, this isn't good. And I said to Carly, I said, hey, I think Hazel's gonna die. And I go, should I go kill her? And Carly's like, no. I'm like, well, I know it's coming. I can just tell death is right there. This isn't the humane thing to do. She's like, how are you gonna do it? I'm like, I don't know.

[Ed]

Yeah, I'm curious as to what your procedure might be.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know what it would have been.

[Pierre]

Get the.

[Daniel Tosh]

Go ahead. Anyway, I just feel like it would be one of those things where, like, oh, you gotta be responsible. And this isn't. No one wants to do this, but just do it.

[Ed]

End it suffering.

[Daniel Tosh]

Anyway, that night, I walk out and I'm, like, closing up their coop for the evening. And I notice she's asleep on the ground and there's ants crawling on her. And I'm like, ah, this is bad. So I. I put her. I cleaned her up a little bit, and I put her in the. In the bed. And she was moving around a lot, but then settled down, and then I walked inside. I go, she's gonna. She's gonna be dead in the morning. And I went out in the morning, first thing, and there's 10,000 ants on her. And she was stiff as a board. So I'm guessing that's the way she wanted to go.

[Ed]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Being. Being just eaten to death by ants.

[Ed]

She had this infection. Were you still eating the eggs?

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah.

[Ed]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Is that bad?

[Ed]

Oh, I would think, like, if the animal's sick, you wouldn't want to eat.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, here's the thing, Ed. There's multiple chickens. How do I know which egg came from which chicken?

[Ed]

Okay, I gotcha.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, so I'm sorry. Now I'm just gonna start throwing away all the eggs. That seems wasteful. None of us got sick.

[Pierre]

All right, you did say.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, do you want any of the eggs, guys? I can bring eggs in.

[Pierre]

Yeah, I like it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, who wants to eat our last egg? I kind of saved it.

[Ed]

John said.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, John, you want to eat their last egg?

[John]

Yeah.

[Pierre]

That seems like a Pete thing, but I'll do it.

[Ed]

Seems like a Pete thing.

[Daniel Tosh]

Hey, I hear we got a sponsor, A new sponsor for Dylan's Dongs.

[Ed]

We sure do.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right, hit the music. We are children. Speaking of children, Eddie and I, you know, and Pete, we just did a show in Vegas, and who tagged along with us? Our French buddy, Pierre. Now, some of you may know that I called Pierre a few weeks ago, and I asked why he wouldn't be on the podcast, and he's like, listen, I want you to pay me. And some people were upset with that, that he asked for money. But what he was really saying is, I don't get anything out of this. I'm not looking for any type of attention. He's like, but if you want to throw some bones my way, I'll take them. Now I'm not going to pay Pierre. But he was in Vegas with us, and he's never gambled in his life. And I said, listen, if you're on the podcast, I. I will let you play one hand of blackjack for $1,000. I had a chip on me, guys. I had $1,000 chip. I go, and if you win, you can take the money, but then you have to be on the podcast. And normally, if you're in a casino, they don't let you pull out cameras and film. But the people at the Cosmopolitan, they're just as sweet as can be. They're like, of course you guys can film in the high, high limit room. And so Eddie whips out his camera. Pierre is so nervous. Like, I don't. You can't tell in this video. But he is terrified. He has no idea how to play. I'm like, you're just going to wave your hand if you don't need a card, you're going to go like this. If you do. And we'll tell you if you need a card. He was just so scared. So he puts the thousand dollars down. Dealer deals them first card, 10. Dealer showing her card, 9. He also, I would like to point out, Sorry to build the suspense. He says to me as we're walking, he goes, no, no, no, no. We should. We shouldn't do it now. And I said, what's wrong? I got a show coming up in 10 minutes. We have to do it right now. And he's like, all the dealers are Asian. That's. I don't. I don't know if that's. He's like, I don't think that's a good sign. And I'm like, what are you talking about? It's the best sign in the world. They tend to gravitate toward this activity.

[Ed]

They love this.

[Daniel Tosh]

Anyway, he puts his thousand dollars down. I'm like, don't touch it ever again. It's gone now that it's in that circle. And they deal him a 10. Dealer shows a 9. Then another picture card picture. So he gets a 20. Doesn't have to do anything. I'm like, you're done. Just wave it. Dealer turns over a 10. She's got a 19. Gives him $1,000. He starts freaking. He's like, oh, no. He's like, are you serious? He's like, that only took a few seconds, and I made $1,000. He's like, we just got to stay here, Pierre. I realized what I unleashed.

[Ed]

Yeah, you created something.

[Daniel Tosh]

But he was like, okay, I'll leave. And we left. And I mean, he was riding that high for the rest of the weekend. Just couldn't believe that he had won. He kept texting me, oh, thank you so much. I'm like, I didn't do anything. I mean, other than giving you $1,000 to play a hand of blackjack. But you won.

[Ed]

Big winner.

[Daniel Tosh]

Big winner. You won too, Eddie.

[Ed]

I did win.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, you did. You went over to. Did a little hit and run on the roulette table, threw four different numbers down and hit one of them. Boom, boom. Then you got Pete to do it. Pete did it. Meanwhile, me, I'm just betting on sports. Losing Pierre's. Pierre's got a few vices, you know. Loves the poontang.

[Ed]

Poontang hound.

[Daniel Tosh]

Now I've introduced him to something way safer, way more responsible. Gambling. Let's see how this works out. Enjoy. Why do most of us want to learn a new language? It's probably not about memorizing grammar tables or topping a leaderboard. It's because we want to speak it out in the real world with real people. Babbel gets you there fast. Babel recognizes that real world connections are at the heart of language learning. Their courses are designed by over 200 language experts, real human beings to teach you relevant words and phrases you'll actually use so you can start speaking with confidence in as little as three weeks. Babbel lets you practice real life conversations step by step without the stress. You build the confidence to speak up when it matters. From ordering a coffee to chatting with new friends abroad. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 55% off your Babel subscription at babbel.com Tosh get up to 55% off at babel.com for forward slash Tosh spelled B A b b e l.com Tosh rules and restrictions may apply. You spend a third of your life in bed. I spend upwards of 50%. Shouldn't you get a pillow that's customized to your sleep? I upgraded my pillows to Coop Sleep Goods. These pillows are crafted with a revolutionary blend of memory foam and microfiber. This pillow offers customizable support for immediate, lasting comfort. Experience the benefits of an adjustable memory foam pillow designed to meet your unique sleep needs. It's hyperallergenic and certified safe that's rigorously tested for harmful chemicals. What else can I tell you about this pillow? Edge to edge support, fully adjustable and made with cooling gel infused memory foam and microfiber. Upgrade your sleep. Visit coopsleepgoods.com tosh to get 20% off your first order. Oh, they're up in the game around here. That's coopsleepgoods.com tosh that's c o o p sleepgoods.com tosh ag1 next gen is a daily health drink clinically shown to support gut health. AG1 is good for energy, daily nutrients and immune support. But what tickles my fancy is that AG1 is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. You can trust AG1 for your daily nutrients because they use a clinically backed formula. AG1 Next Gen is helping to raise the standard with their trials and quality testing. They continually invest in rigorous peer reviewed clinical trials to make sure their product is delivering what our bodies need and AG1 is NSF certified for sport, the gold standard in independent quality and safety certifications. Head to drink ag1.com tosh to get a free welcome kit including a bottle of vitamin D and five AG1 travel packs when you first. Subscribe. A $76 value. That's drinkag1.com tosh toss show. My guest today is a Toss show legend. He's in the top five of our most viewed episodes. But it's been almost two years since he's been on the pod. So let's see how much he's grown emotionally and deteriorated physically. Please welcome the return of my French friend, Pierre.

[Pierre]

Hello, Daniel.

[Daniel Tosh]

Two years.

[Pierre]

Three years. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Your hair looks different.

[Pierre]

More white.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's all white now.

[Pierre]

Your ass looks different. No, they look good.

[Daniel Tosh]

I put this shirt on today going, oh, this is like the most Pierre type of shirt. And then you showed up in that and I just laughed.

[Pierre]

Yeah, well, I wanted to wear this color one, but I couldn't find it, so I found this one. That's another one you gave to me.

[Daniel Tosh]

We already know that you don't believe in ghosts. First question I ask all my two time guests. Do you believe in soulmates?

[Pierre]

Yes. Oh, you're the proof. You're my soulmate.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm your soulmate. That's the sweetest thing you've ever said. Do you believe breakfast is the most important meal of the day?

[Pierre]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you?

[Pierre]

Well, I have bread and jam and butter in my chocolate bowl.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's what you eat for breakfast?

[Pierre]

Yeah. Dip my bread in my bowl. In my.

[Daniel Tosh]

Your bowl of what?

[Pierre]

Coffee. I mean, people think it's weird because I drink my coffee on the bowl. In a bowl with milk and coffee.

[Daniel Tosh]

Hold on. You drink coffee out of not a mug, but a bowl? Why do you drink coffee out of a bowl?

[Pierre]

I don't know. It's always been this way. Why is it you have more?

[Daniel Tosh]

You could always just have a refill.

[Pierre]

Of coffee, a big bowl, and I drink after.

[Daniel Tosh]

And you do this just. Just at home? How have I never known this?

[Pierre]

Well, come for breakfast and.

[Daniel Tosh]

And you. You dip your toast with jam into your bowl.

[Pierre]

My friend came and I offered him a coffee and I give him my bowl. I say, here's your coffee. And he looked at me, he's like, are you serious?

[Daniel Tosh]

Like what?

[Pierre]

The bowl. You want to touch it?

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, most humans, I would say, don't like to drink out of a bowl.

[Pierre]

Why not?

[Daniel Tosh]

I. It's we. Because we've. We have. That is the craziest thing to start off the interview with. You're our first repeat guest or encore, as they say in France. Why did it take so long to have you back on?

[Pierre]

Because my first experience, I think I was not comfortable you invited me the first time. You said oh, we're gonna have a good time. But I never seen the show before.

[Daniel Tosh]

Because the show didn't exist.

[Pierre]

Exactly.

[Daniel Tosh]

So we shot your interview before the show was ever out.

[Pierre]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Three months before it ever came out.

[Pierre]

And then I thought at the time that was fun. When we talked, I was like, oh, that's cool. But then when I came home at night, I freaked out.

[Daniel Tosh]

I was like, so this is what happened. I interviewed him, and the show hadn't begun yet. We were just shooting interviews, as many as we could before the show came out. And then three months later, we started rolling out the episodes. Well, Pierre, from the day I interviewed him till the day it came out, was calling me every day saying, hey, you can't air that interview. You were scared. You go, I'm gonna be deported.

[Pierre]

Yeah, I'm gonna lose my life.

[Daniel Tosh]

You said, I'm gonna get fired from my job.

[Pierre]

Yeah. I'm gonna lose my girlfriend. I'm gonna lose everything.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm gonna lose my girlfriend.

[Pierre]

So I couldn't p. Now, first I talked to you, and you say, dory, you'll be fine. And I think you start getting annoyed by my pushback. So I reach out to Pete. I said, pete, I need to talk to you. I don't think this is a good idea. Don't put it live. And people was like, well, you'll be fine. Don't worry about it. I was like, well, that's not going to go anywhere either. So I talked to Kali. I went to see Kali, and I said, kali, what do you think? Should I do it? Can you help? He's like, no, it's okay to worry. It's a bit. It's a bit much.

[Daniel Tosh]

And so then you believed my wife. And why are you going to visit my wife? Well, here's the. You also left the country. You went back home to France. When it came out, I remember Escape. And you were like. You were so scared. And then the feedback was positive. People liked it. And you weren't fired. You weren't deported. Your girlfriend did break up with you.

[Pierre]

But the first thing is you reach out to me and you say, it's on. You send me a text or something. And I feel like I was like, oh, shit, here we go. And right after, a friend reached out to me say, oh, dude, I just saw you on tv. And I'm thinking, what? That guy who's reached out to me lives in Oxnard. He doesn't have Instagram, he doesn't have Facebook. He doesn't have any social. No Tinder, no Nothing. And if he's finding out, like, everybody's gonna find out, and I'm screwed. So I was like, I better watch it. And I watch it from my hotel room in Paris.

[Daniel Tosh]

Were you so scared?

[Pierre]

Well, I wasn't scared.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you laugh? Did you say, oh, this is good? This is. Oh, I'm interesting.

[Pierre]

I liked our complicity, I think.

[Daniel Tosh]

How many times have you watched your episode?

[Pierre]

I watched it all the time. I watched the comments.

[Daniel Tosh]

You read the comments?

[Pierre]

Uh, hu.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you ever reply to people?

[Pierre]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did anybody get angry with you from that episode? Did you get in trouble? Did you get any pushback from anyone?

[Pierre]

No. I was surprised because I wasn't really comfortable, but people reach out to me or talk to me, even in the streets. One time I was at the bank and the banker recognized me. So he was really serious and he recognized me. He's like, oh, are you the guy from. From Tosh? And he flipped his attitude. And then I was thinking, damn, if he sees my bank account, it's no good because I don't have much money. And then he realized that he changed attitude, so he became serious again. And we talked about.

[Daniel Tosh]

But you didn't like that he saw how much was in your account. You said to me, though, after. After that it came out, you're like, oh, I wish I would have given you my Instagram handle so that people could reach out to me. If girls wanted to date me or go on a date with me, they would have an act. Do you want to put your Instagram handle up?

[Pierre]

We could, but some girls, they were good. They still find me.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, they still found you?

[Pierre]

They find me, yeah. Either on LinkedIn or Instagram. But I received some. Some weird.

[Pete]

You.

[Daniel Tosh]

You received. Was it sexy stuff or.

[Pierre]

No, but I received some. Yeah, I received some crazy video. Is that girl. She was pretty hot, actually. She keeps sending me videos. One time she had a thumb on the butt, and I thought she was really itchy because that was really there.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, man, that's a good fan. How many women have you hooked up with as a result of being on this podcast?

[Pierre]

What? The podcast didn't help me.

[Daniel Tosh]

It did not.

[Pierre]

That's.

[Daniel Tosh]

Guys, Come on, girls.

[Pierre]

Oh, I hear you say it's gonna.

[Daniel Tosh]

Change my life, and it hasn't changed it. That's a shame.

[Pierre]

You wanted to get some surfboards, and we never get the surfboards either.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, man. All right. We need surfboards and women. Tell people about when I brought you to Vegas.

[Pierre]

You mean with a gay guy?

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. I don't know. That he was gay, but I'm sure he was.

[Pierre]

We went to Vegas with your team. My team?

[Daniel Tosh]

You mean Pete?

[Pierre]

Pete. And Eddie was there.

[Daniel Tosh]

Eddie opens for me. He's not really my team. We don't have jerseys. We don't huddle up before the show and put our hands together.

[Pierre]

So you went to the massage place?

[Daniel Tosh]

First we went to a spa.

[Pierre]

And you told me to behave.

[Daniel Tosh]

I told you to behave? Because a lot of times Pierre goes to massages and other things happen. I don't know how do you make other things happen at massages? What are you doing?

[Pierre]

I'm just relaxing.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you go when you get your pee pee touched? Is this a different type of spa? Is this a place that looks different?

[Pierre]

It's probably cheaper than the one you took me, right?

[Daniel Tosh]

Is that what it is? It's just like a cheaper place, I guess.

[Pierre]

Cheaper? You got better.

[Daniel Tosh]

You don't have to speak for yourself. But if someone were to go to one of these spas, how do they get their pee pee touched?

[Pierre]

Maybe open your legs a little bit. That's an invitation.

[Daniel Tosh]

There's no, like, hey, I'm paying for this.

[Pierre]

I think you just do it.

[Daniel Tosh]

You have a good place. I'm very confused. This never happened for me. You know who happened?

[Pierre]

You come with me.

[Daniel Tosh]

It happened for Jon Jon.

[Pierre]

I know that story in the car was. I was laughing so hard, I was crying.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, back to this. So we went to the spa, me, you, and Pete. And we first got in the sauna. And I'm just sitting there with my eyes closed with a towel on.

[Pierre]

Well, there's different.

[Daniel Tosh]

There's different tiers. Like, I'm sitting on the high bench.

[Pierre]

Yeah, Pete is pretty high. I think he was sitting.

[Daniel Tosh]

Pete's always next to me.

[Pierre]

No, I was in between the two.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, you were between us. Okay, so it's me, you, and Pete sitting on a bench. I have my eyes closed.

[Pierre]

Yeah. And there's one guy was perpendicular.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, one guy's perpendicular.

[Pierre]

And I was. I didn't have my eyes closed. I was looking.

[Daniel Tosh]

You were looking around. I had my eyes closed. And then one time, all of a sudden, with my eyes closed, I hear Pierre go in the most American accent I've ever heard him, hey, man, you got a problem?

[Pierre]

Because I caught him a few times going, he's looking under your towel.

[Daniel Tosh]

Like he was looking up. Looking up at my. Looking up my dress.

[Pierre]

Yeah, your legs were open. And he keeps looking. So I caught him once, twice. I was like, dude, are you okay? Cuz he was checking on You. But I don't know if you liked it or if you. Because that was abuse. I was like, what are you saying?

[Daniel Tosh]

I was being sexually assaulted. Isn't that assault? What do you mean? A guy's looking.

[John]

It's gawking.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's gawking. Okay, I was being sexually gawked. I didn't know it, but I just knew that as soon as I heard Pierre, I just. A grin came over my face cuz I'm like, oh, we're about to get into a rumble in this spa. Because Pierre is furious that this guy tried to look at my dong. But he got up and left, didn't he?

[Pierre]

Well, at the beginning, he pretend nothing happened, but I told him again, say, hey, like, you. Okay? And then, yeah, he left.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, I appreciate it, but I thought Pete.

[Pierre]

Pete would say something.

[Daniel Tosh]

You thought Pete? Pete is useless when it comes to security.

[Pierre]

Maybe he liked it too.

[Daniel Tosh]

Pete, did you like it?

[Pierre]

I didn't see it happen. I just heard. Of course he didn't see it.

[Daniel Tosh]

None of us, we were just relaxing. I say no harm, no foul. The guys. If my legs are spread and he wants to take a peek, I say, let him. Right? Yeah, let him. Sure. By the way, you were gonna switch your. Your will so that I could get your money. Have you done that yet?

[Pierre]

No. You. If something happens to me. You.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, because you were gonna transfer to me, so it's an easier thing because I'm here in America and then I would send all your money to your family.

[Pierre]

I thought you had. You had money. So you're not going to try to.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm not going to screw me and I'm talking about it. So now I definitely can't do it. I got to send it off to your sister. That's the goal, right?

[Pierre]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right, well, when are you going to make that official? Because that's when I'll kill you. Is there anything you said last time that you wish you hadn't said?

[Pierre]

No. Maybe we were a bit heavy on the. On some stories and we could have.

[Daniel Tosh]

Kept this under maybe the sham marriage. Were you worried about that one?

[Pierre]

I was worried about everything. After all the panic attack, have you.

[Daniel Tosh]

Reconciled with that girl that wrote that song about you?

[Pierre]

Yeah, people text her after the show and she loved it. She was super cool, so that was brilliant. She has a new song after, like, she put in those. Nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

Did you ever hang out with her again after that? No.

[Pierre]

I think somebody, you know, with Instagram, she find out and. Yeah, she thought that was good. You know, I Was surprised because even my ex wife thought that was funny.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh yeah, that's right. The one that. Yeah, you told about. You told a few stories that you were worried about.

[Pierre]

Yeah, the whole feedback was good. I think I was the only one being worried.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, the feedback was good. Then there was one girl that had an itchy butt.

[Pierre]

Itchy butt.

[Daniel Tosh]

You have a photo of me that I sent you of when I was like in my 20s and my hair was real stupid long, but. But you send it to me once a week. You just send me the photo of.

[Pierre]

Myself all the time. I try to put it as your profile at Sohouse as well. So when you click, when you check in, it's that phrase that comes out.

[Daniel Tosh]

They wouldn't change it though. By the way, the Soho House in Malibu. Don't you think because you bring them up so regularly, you talk about them on this pod. Don't you think they should give you a free membership? They could, but Soho House, I don't need anything. I'm happy to pay for two memberships. One for my. My membership and my wife's membership. I'm paying two memberships for our house. So I think you could at least give Pierre a free membership annually to the Soho House in Malibu.

[Pierre]

I've got a drink there now.

[Daniel Tosh]

You have your own drink? Yeah, named after you.

[Pierre]

Kind of called the Jogo.

[Daniel Tosh]

Why? Oh, what's wrong with it?

[Pierre]

When you drink too much, you have a funny belly and you have to go to the toilet pretty quickly.

[Daniel Tosh]

Last time you were on the show, you hadn't had a drink in six months. You still sober?

[Pierre]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're completely sober?

[Pierre]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, good for you.

[Pierre]

Years.

[Daniel Tosh]

Two years of sobriety.

[Pierre]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

How do you celebrate? What about that drink they gave you? Almost made you shit yourself.

[Pierre]

The drug go? Yeah, it's like.

[Daniel Tosh]

There's no alcohol in that.

[Pierre]

No, it's. It's like a ginger.

[Daniel Tosh]

You. You crap yourself quite a bit as well, don't you?

[Pierre]

I have fun, yeah. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

You recently went on a date and you brought her back to your place, but you're.

[Pierre]

Yeah, I got a bit sick.

[Daniel Tosh]

What happened?

[Pierre]

Well, I got a bad stomach and I was rushing to go back to my place. I was trying to make conversation in the car, but I couldn't wait to be in my place. In my place, there's no door. It's like a sliding door.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's like an accordion door. Like, almost like an old closet door for his bathroom. So it's not soundproof at all. So he goes into his place with this Girl on a first date.

[Pierre]

Yeah. Just met her.

[Daniel Tosh]

And you turn up the stereo very loud.

[Pierre]

Really loud.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Pierre]

And the water and everything.

[Daniel Tosh]

And then you. And then you explode.

[Pierre]

Yeah, I was a bit sick.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, but you didn't. It didn't all go into the toilet.

[Pierre]

You mean I sprayed?

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. Yes. Did you explode?

[Pierre]

No. I don't remember. Maybe.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, you have. You have the same problem that I have where you kind of have a weak stomach.

[Pierre]

Yeah, I get too excited. I don't know.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's not fun. It's just the worst when your stomach explodes.

[Pierre]

You know, when I make my food now, I buy premade platters from. From whole food. And I buy them nearly to expiration. So I leave them in my fridge. But after one week they go bad. But I still want to hit them. So by the weekend, he messed up my stomach. And I blame the guy at the bar saying, your drinks are not good. That makes me sick.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, but it's probably your old food.

[Pierre]

Yeah. Last time there was a shrimp.

[Daniel Tosh]

Have you. How come you don't consider. You know you can freeze food.

[Pierre]

Yeah. I stopped doing this.

[Daniel Tosh]

You need a woman. You eat horribly. I've said, I. I've put photos of your meals up. Are you eating better? Are you still making your weird pasta, macaroni, hot dog dishes?

[Pierre]

I still do that sometimes. But there's that guy in. In Venice. He has a beautiful restaurant called Riviera. I think he's a famous chef.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Pierre]

And after the.

[Daniel Tosh]

He's a French chef?

[Pierre]

No, he's American.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, he's American.

[Pierre]

And I bump into him. He's a really nice guy and he's. I say, hey, Travis, how you doing? It's been a while. Or things like you sold your restaurants and what's next for you? And he said, oh, I've got a new project I want to do. Like a new concept. It's hot dog with mashed potatoes and pasta on top of it. I'm looking at him like, what is he talking about? And then I realized, like, oh, shit, he saw the episode.

[Ed]

You did.

[Daniel Tosh]

You put a hot. You put a hot dog on top of mashed potatoes?

[Pierre]

Yeah. Maybe you want to say when you invited me to Tao and you didn't feed me.

[Daniel Tosh]

Ok, here's the difference between. Pierre and I spend a lot of time together in the ocean, you know, but we go our separate ways. But when we. Occasionally, if we're together outside of our homes, it's apparent how different our lives are. I go to bed at 9 o'. Clock. Pierre is thriving at that time. So I fed him what I thought was a dinner at like 3:30, 4:00 in the afternoon. And then I went to bed at like 8:30 or 9. And he was in my house in Tahoe. And he was confused.

[Pierre]

I was hanging in the kitchen. He said to me, okay, good night. And I was hanging in the kitchen trying to keep you. I was like thinking, well, he's going to give me dinner or something.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, he was like, he was confused. Well, what about, what about dinner? I haven't had dinner. So anyway, he goes down to his room, which is in the basement, and he's. And he's confused. So you just started finding a s' more kit that happened to be down there. And he just ate all the chocolate out of the samor kit. So now I'm fucking stuck with graham crackers and marshmallows. But that's how he survived the night, was just eating chocolate.

[Pierre]

But the day after you took me to a nice restaurant.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, but you were so mad that you didn't have a proper dinner. And that's the difference. Listen, French culture, they love to eat late at night. And you know, I'm just. I just don't do that.

[Pierre]

You, you eat, I don't know, you mix your lunch and your dinner at the same time.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's called Linner. You've never heard of Linner?

[Pierre]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's a lunch dinner. I love Linner. There's no reservations required for Linner. That's my favorite time.

[Pierre]

Yeah, we're starving.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's your living situation these days? How's it going?

[Pierre]

Good. Everything's good. I mean, I'd like to spend more time with you surfing, but you get mad with that.

[Daniel Tosh]

You've got a new job. Our schedules aren't as good as they used to be.

[Pierre]

You get mad.

[Daniel Tosh]

You work for a company that is saving the world.

[Pierre]

Pretty much, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Coral gardeners.

[Pierre]

Yeah. Do coral reef restoration.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're restoring the coral reefs throughout the world, which is kind of a dream job for you because you get to work from home and then sometimes you have to go to France or you have to go to Tahiti for long periods of time. And you're just sending me photos of everything that you're seeing in Tahiti. You love Tahiti.

[Pierre]

It's nice. Beautiful. Yeah, it's insane. The colors and the beauty. The people are very, very nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you speak the same type of French or.

[Pierre]

No, they have a different accent, but yeah, we, we speak.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, it's the same. I didn't, I didn't know.

[Pierre]

They have their own dialect.

[Daniel Tosh]

Uhhuh.

[Pierre]

But otherwise they speak French. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do they think that you're from there or. No. Can they tell immediately that you're not from there? I don't know.

[Pierre]

Yeah, I mean, Polynesian difference.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you ever. Do you ever have nice accommodations or. Because you're saving the world, do you have to stay in shitty places?

[Pierre]

Depends. Last time wasn't so good.

[Daniel Tosh]

But you don't get to stay in those cool overwater bungalows.

[Pierre]

No, no. I mean, the last place we had a. We had a pool, so that was nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Pierre]

But I was sharing the place with couple ladies and I left them the room and I have to sleep in the mezzanine.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you get to surf while you're working now?

[Pierre]

I surf sometimes. Not enough, but sometimes we surf. I want to take you there. Yeah, I'd like to take you there.

[Daniel Tosh]

I would love for you to take me there. Pierre's gonna take me to Tahiti. I want to go. You, me and my wife to go to Bora Bora.

[Pierre]

Oh, yeah. That's nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

There's no surface.

[Pierre]

I don't know if Callie wants to travel with me.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, she doesn't. Do you miss working in the bikini business?

[Pierre]

Yes. Nice environments. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you still talk to those old. The people that used to.

[Pierre]

The Chinese.

[Daniel Tosh]

The Chinese.

[Pierre]

I don't speak. No.

[Daniel Tosh]

No. I think you left your job to work to save the world with the coral gardeners.

[Pierre]

But.

[Daniel Tosh]

But when you left, were they sad to see you go?

[Pierre]

Yeah, they were. They tried to keep me, but I was done. I wanted to do something meaningful.

[Daniel Tosh]

Meaningful?

[Pierre]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Although bikinis are meaningful.

[Pierre]

Nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

You went to fashion week, though, or bathing. What is it called? Bathing suit in Miami?

[Pierre]

Swim week.

[Daniel Tosh]

Swim week. Swim week.

[Pierre]

That's nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

Swim week. You went to swim week in Miami. How was that?

[Pierre]

It's nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

What do you do there?

[Pierre]

I just look around. You never been to swim week?

[Daniel Tosh]

No, I think I've been to swim week before I lived in.

[Pierre]

I recommend it. It's very interesting.

[Daniel Tosh]

What's the latest styles that the women are wearing on the beach in Miami?

[Pierre]

It's crazy. They don't even wear on the beach. It's in the street. They wear G string with a little cover up. Middle of the street.

[Daniel Tosh]

Beautiful.

[Pierre]

It's confusing.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's confusing. We'll be right back. Okay. We got a cat food ad. Who's got cats in here? John's got cats. Great. I just pray to God he's using smalls. You use smalls? Oh, yeah. Smalls. Cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free ingredients you find in your fridge and it's delivered right to your door. Forget cats. Can humans eat it? Maybe John should know that after switching to smalls, 88% of cat owners reported overall health improvements. That's a big deal. Now the team at Smalls is so confident your cat will love their product that you can try it risk free. That means they will refund you if your cat won't eat their food. What are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve for a limited time because you are a Tosh show listener. Get 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com tosh one last time that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head over to smalls.com tosh what a deal. The episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. You and I make decisions every day but on prize picks being right can get you paid. Don't miss any of the excitement this season on prize picks or where it's good to be right now. The NBA season started. Everybody always wants to know how old Danny's picks are for the upcoming games. Well you guys are in luck because this pod is the only way you can get them. So listen up. Remember Prize picks is simple to play. Just pick more or less on at least two players statistics and you can get in on the action in more than 40 states for NBA. I only make picks about rebounds because it's the most beautiful part of of such an exciting game no matter the total. I see Chet Holmgren and I always pick more because he is tall Jimmy Butler. I always pick less. I believe his nickname these days is Less is more. With Butler Zion Williamson if he plays pick the more or the less. I actually don't understand his body. Remember as Kawhi always says, the Boardman gets paid. Download the app today and use code tosh to get $50 in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup. That's code tosh to get $50 in lineups AFTER you play your first five dollar lineup. Prize picks it's good to be right. The other day we were out of something at the house and one of the kids was melting down because of it. Or maybe it was my father in law. Hard to tell the difference. You're probably thinking just go to the store and replace it. Well it's football season so if you think I am going to the store to restock anything, it sure won't be on a Saturday or Sunday, Not a Monday or Friday. Thursday, actually. Sometimes games start on Wednesday, which leaves Tuesday. But that's the day I deliver my podcast fans the content that they crave. So what did I do? I opened Instacart's easy to use app. After a few taps, my order was placed, and in as little as 30 minutes, my delivery ended the meltdown so I could continue yelling at the TV the entire game. I'm a fan. Instacart brings convenience, quality, and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most, which this time of year might be watching the game and letting Instacart restock whatever it is that my kids are hollering about. Nothing could be more convenient. Download the Instacart app and use code toShow20 to get $20 off your first order of $80 or more. That's code tosh. Show20 to get $20 off your 1st order of $80 or more. Offer valid for a limited time. Excludes restaurants. Additional terms apply to show. How many strangers have approached you to say that they recognized you from the show?

[Pierre]

Yeah, there's a few around Malibu especially. Or even, like, when I'm with you surfing. You know, some people, they recognize, but I feel like I have to change the attitude. I have to be nice to people.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're always having to be nice to people, and then I come along and I'm the sour puss. When we went to Palm Springs, you almost were killed by a wave pool.

[Pierre]

Well, it's a set of three waves, and the best is the second wave, and you always want it to be on the second wave because you're super competitive.

[Daniel Tosh]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait. I'll just say that I wanted to be on the second wave because of what you just said. It was the best wave. Yeah, the second wave. You pay for the thing, and I paid for it. So I felt like I get to. I get to ride the same. And I rode all the waves, but I like the. I like the better waves.

[Pierre]

You gave me one of the second wave. Yes, but I could tell you were still annoyed that I. That you have to give it to me. So I'm waiting for the wave, and then you come from behind, you see, and you say, abut. Fuck you. I'm like, what? And you keep going closer. I say, abbot, fuck you. So I focus on you creeping behind my back. And I forgot about the wave was coming, so I got sucked into the machine.

[Daniel Tosh]

Into the machine?

[Pierre]

Yeah. And my boat flew. I was panicking. You Just laughing at the back. And I keep thinking about, fuck you.

[Daniel Tosh]

I just paddled up next to him. I whispered into his ear, butt, fuck you.

[Pierre]

And.

[Daniel Tosh]

And then. And then the machine swallowed out of control and his board bangs into the wall. It was just chaos. Are we going surfing today?

[Pierre]

Yes.

[Daniel Tosh]

What are we gonna ride?

[Pierre]

Normal board. But last time. I told you there is no wave. I told you to take you soft top, and you show up with no leash.

[Daniel Tosh]

I show up, he goes, hey. He goes, let's go surfing right now. I'm like, okay, what board should we bring? And then he goes, just bring soft top. I'm like, ah, I think it's bigger than that. Anyway, I show up with a soft top, the waves are huge, and I got no leash on.

[Pierre]

I'm out there looking like you lost your pole.

[Daniel Tosh]

I lost it a couple times.

[Pierre]

You surf with your hat? Your pink hat.

[Daniel Tosh]

Why is that funny?

[Pierre]

No, because the way you look.

[Daniel Tosh]

Like.

[Pierre]

I told you there's a wetsuit, gives you a good butt. And after, you always show me your butt on your wetsuits because it gives you a nice butt. Just like checking your butt on your wetsuits.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't.

[Pierre]

I don't.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, I don't think we always. I don't think I'm always showing you my butt in a wetsuit.

[Pierre]

No, but you know the wetsuit I'm talking about?

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, there's. Yeah, I have one wetsuit that's too small for me and it kind of like. Kind of like gives me like a perma wedge. I don't like it. I don't like any of this. All this stuff is people are gonna just think we're just making love to each other. I'm sure there's a lot of confusion among our viewers, so please explain to everybody who. Why you and Amanda are not dating.

[Pierre]

She's family. I don't date in the family.

[Daniel Tosh]

He won't date in the family. He also doesn't want to have children. That doesn't seem good for this situation. You think you're ready to settle down now?

[Pierre]

No more I think about it. No. You know, I had a girlfriend for a week.

[Daniel Tosh]

A week?

[Pierre]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

You know, you don't think you could date somebody long term right now?

[Pierre]

No, I don't. Like. I was thinking about it. I like the feeling of being in love. It's. I don't like. Stupid, stupid. You become different. You lose your focus. You lose your.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, you lose your focus. What focus do you have?

[Pierre]

Focus in life, in career and things. Like when you're in love. You just become. I don't know. I don't like it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, it's a trap. When's the last time you had sex?

[Pierre]

I make love. I don't have sex. I make love.

[Daniel Tosh]

You only make.

[Pierre]

I make love. I'm a lover.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you have a girlfriend right now?

[Pierre]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

No. What are you looking for?

[Pierre]

I don't know.

[Daniel Tosh]

Describe your perfect woman.

[Pierre]

Short, brunettes, blue eyes, petite.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're describing my wife. I know what you're doing. That's nice. That's. I'm getting cucked right here on my own podcast. You. Recently, you were baptized, but you went down to do it at the beach. But when you went down to the beach, you were like, oh, no, I can't get baptized here because there's a dead whale that washed in.

[Pierre]

Yeah, there was a dead whale down.

[Daniel Tosh]

The beach and it stunk to high heavens. So you just walked further away from the dead whale and then went in and were baptized?

[Pierre]

I got baptized a bit further, but, yeah, the whale was there.

[Daniel Tosh]

That didn't seem like a sign to you, that maybe.

[Pierre]

No, you said that was a sign.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, congratulations. Well, he was baptized and there was a dead whale that washed in. Do you still own. Jesus? That's. What is wrong with you?

[Pete]

I forgot about the dog.

[Daniel Tosh]

You almost fucking knocked our table over.

[Pierre]

Ladies.

[Daniel Tosh]

Were you just that jumpy? He scared you.

[Pierre]

I don't know. What was that thing? I forgot.

[Daniel Tosh]

Don't act like the one thing that you and Carly share in common is neither. Carly and Pierre are the only two people on this planet that don't love Carl.

[Pierre]

I don't mind Carl.

[Daniel Tosh]

I know, but you guys don't love him.

[Pierre]

No.

[Daniel Tosh]

Not a pet person. Yet some people hire you to be a pet sitter. You've done that before, and you're like, do they know that you don't like animals?

[Pierre]

I don't mind them.

[Daniel Tosh]

We had Sergio on the show who claimed that Spain was the best at everything. But we also had Donato on who's Italian, who nailed the question and said the only thing France did best was cheese and America was only good at movies and comedy. Your thoughts?

[Pierre]

Well, it's pretty jealous.

[Daniel Tosh]

Where'd you get that sweater?

[Pierre]

You give it to me.

[Daniel Tosh]

Last time you were on the show, I gave you some sweaters. And then recently you told me that they don't fit or they don't. They're all worn out.

[Pierre]

I think I got tired of them. I wear them so much. There's one I like with the skirt. That was my Lucky sweater that I tried to bring today for you. I couldn't find it. I don't know why I put it.

[Daniel Tosh]

How do you have a lucky sweater that you can't find? And what makes them lucky?

[Pierre]

Because every time I was going out, like, ladies and people were coming, talk to me and say hello.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. So it's just about. It's just about women.

[Pierre]

The vibe. Good vibe. That's where it was.

[Daniel Tosh]

Everybody that's on the podcast gets gifts. Here's the gift. Time.

[Pierre]

I like gift.

[Daniel Tosh]

You love gifts, don't you? Okay, the first gift I have for you. Oh, you're gonna loved it. Hey, is this. This is your company?

[Pierre]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

That you work for, Coral Gardeners. But the hat, it's. It's not. I have a huge head, and this just kind of sits on top of my head like a little boy.

[Pierre]

Yeah, it's trendy. That's the new thing. 20, 26, 25. It's how you want to wear your hat?

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know.

[Pierre]

I'll get you another hat if you want.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you guys have different hats?

[Pierre]

Yeah. Yeah. We have a new model that came out I would give.

[Daniel Tosh]

You give me a new model?

[Pierre]

Yeah, because this.

[Daniel Tosh]

This model, I don't know. Do you wear these?

[Pierre]

I don't wear hats.

[Daniel Tosh]

But you don't wear hats. Do you give it to your son? I give. I give it to my son. Fine. I keep it. All right. Okay. More gifts. You ready? Okay. Now, I want you to know that every sweater I give you is. Has. Here's a nice Vince sweater. Look at this. You like that one?

[Pierre]

No, not so much.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. Excuse me. There's probably not a sweater that I'm giving you that's under $400. You like that one or no, not so much. Not so much.

[Jim]

Okay.

[Daniel Tosh]

What about this one?

[Pierre]

This we get. It's better.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, that one's better.

[Pierre]

That's better.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Pierre]

This looks like a pajama.

[Daniel Tosh]

A which one? I think it'll look good on you.

[Pierre]

It's a little striped.

[Daniel Tosh]

What about this one?

[Pierre]

That's nice. I get that.

[Daniel Tosh]

I can't stop sneezing. Oh, what about this one? This could be your new lucky sweater.

[Pierre]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's lucky.

[Daniel Tosh]

Here's another sweater.

[Pierre]

No sweater.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah. You need sweaters. This one. Look at this one from the dry cleaner. That's like. That's just a nice black sweater. You'll love it.

[Pierre]

I love it.

[Daniel Tosh]

Look at this.

[Pierre]

Thank you.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're stocked back up on sweaters.

[Pierre]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Get those off my desk.

[Pierre]

I'm good. For two years until I come back.

[Daniel Tosh]

Get the sweaters. Okay. That's one gift. You're gonna love this next gift.

[Pierre]

That's a lot of gift today.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, so many gifts. This is a crappy French, French brand soft top that is meant for children that Pierre made me buy. And he rides one of these boards all the time when the surf is crappy. And why don't you?

[Pierre]

Why don't you?

[Daniel Tosh]

And they don't make them anymore. You see? Can't find them.

[Pierre]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

So he's always, like, in his is dying. So I'm like. I'm like, you can have mine.

[Pierre]

Why don't you keep it? You don't want to surf it?

[Daniel Tosh]

I rather. I like the Catch surfboards better.

[Pierre]

Okay. Well, thank you, Daniel.

[Daniel Tosh]

Catch. Feel free to send me a bunch.

[Pierre]

There's our friend from fcs, wanted to give us some boards, but we never went down there.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, tell him. Tell him to send them to us. But you'll love that board.

[Pierre]

Yeah, I love that board.

[Daniel Tosh]

Now you got a backup already.

[Pierre]

It's nice. Thank you.

[Daniel Tosh]

Now, originally, that board was $99, and then they started selling them for way more money. And then they stopped selling them completely. And Pierre panicked. He's like, how are we gonna get these boards? I'm like, who cares about these shitty boards? You jogging?

[Pierre]

Yeah. I'm joking. Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

You know who's jogging now? My wife's jogging all the time.

[Pierre]

I should jog with her. Yeah, that's funny.

[Daniel Tosh]

She's doing a 10k.

[Pierre]

That's good. What about you?

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm gonna watch the kids and we're gonna. We're gonna choose. I should run. I'm out of shape and I feel like I'm having a heart attack. Every day I surf now, I get so tired in the water.

[Pierre]

When we had that paddle race, we paddle and you're so competitive. I could tell you won't let go. And when we arrive to the. To the peak, you're like, dude, I'm so tired. I'm gonna die.

[Daniel Tosh]

I'm gonna die. Yeah. I can't. How old are you now? Are you 47?

[Pierre]

I'm 47.

[Daniel Tosh]

Last week, did you do anything fun for your birthday?

[Pierre]

Yeah. There was a big gala, you know, the planet conservation called the NAT Gala. But I wasn't invited. I went next door with my friend and we met them.

[Daniel Tosh]

Who do you think is going to win the super bowl this year?

[Pierre]

Notre Dame?

[Daniel Tosh]

No, that's college football. Super bowl, pro football. Who do you think is going to win it?

[Pierre]

I told you. They have the jersey. I thought they were from Seattle, but they're from San Francisco.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're about Seattle. You're talking about Seattle.

[Pierre]

They have Red and.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, Gould. The 49ers. Yeah. San Francisco 49.

[Pierre]

Yeah. This one's going to win.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, That's a good pick. 49ers is a good pick.

[John]

Home game.

[Daniel Tosh]

Do you think you'll ever live in France full time or do you think you'll always live multiple places?

[Pierre]

I don't know. I came here 16 years ago. I was coming for three months. I never left, so I don't know what's going to happen.

[Daniel Tosh]

You go back a lot now?

[Pierre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

And you just bought a home near your parents home. Oh, sorry.

[Pierre]

I'm trying.

[Daniel Tosh]

You're trying to buy a home near your.

[Pierre]

That's why I'm asking you. Money for the show.

[Daniel Tosh]

How long does it take you to get from right here, from your house here in Malibu to your childhood home? Explain to me how I have. Because you're always inviting me and I always say no, but I want to know exactly how long this takes.

[Pierre]

I have to leave Malibu, then get to LAX.

[Daniel Tosh]

That's one hour.

[Pierre]

Yeah. LAX to Paris.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay.

[Pierre]

That's 11.

[Daniel Tosh]

11 hours.

[Pierre]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, so now we're 12 hours plus an hour. That. 14 hours.

[Pierre]

Charles de Gaulle to Paris train station.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay. Shuttle from the, from, from the airport in Paris to the train station. Hour is an hour.

[Pierre]

Yeah.

[Daniel Tosh]

To the train station.

[Pierre]

Yeah. Then when I have to.

[Daniel Tosh]

Then you get on a train.

[Pierre]

If I can catch the first train. Otherwise I have to wait a little bit. Times two hours. I wait, I take the train for.

[Daniel Tosh]

Three hours, three hour train ride.

[Pierre]

And then my parents, my dad comes pick me up. It's another 30 minutes drive, like 17.

[Daniel Tosh]

18 hours to get to your house. That is so long, Pierre. Thank you for letting me talk to you on air. We'll do this again in two years. Yes, every two years. Whether you want to or not. Car show. I want to thank Pierre for being on the podcast. And I know they won't believe it, Ed, but I had no idea what he was going to wear. I went through my wardrobe rack, as I always do, and I try to dress in a theme that will right, match the mood of whoever I'm interviewing. And I'm like, what dumb looking French shirt do I have? And then sure enough, I have this, this sweater with lines. And when he walked through the door in one of my old sweaters with lines, I was like, perfect.

[Ed]

Couldn't have been happier.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, I know. And people don't believe. They think, oh, we planned that, but we didn't. There's no reason to plan it. That's not funny. What's funny is Meath going, oh, I want to dress stupid like a French person, and hitting nail on head.

[Ed]

And then he shows up.

[Daniel Tosh]

When he got dressed, he wasn't like, oh, I want to look like a stupid French person. He was like, I want to look like a sexy French person. We didn't plan it. All right, we have some plugs. Carl, here's our plugs. Okay, tour, guys. I hope the real tour's on sale right now, because if it is, everyone in this country is getting a treat. And when I say this country, I'm talking about this country. And Canada, I'm talking about North America minus Mexico and all those little countries until you get to Panama, which a lot of people refer to as Central America, but it's not. It's just all north. That's all North America.

[Ed]

North and south.

[Daniel Tosh]

Guys, there's just two. There's two continents, okay? There's no Central America as a continent.

[Pierre]

Yeah, it's south. North America.

[Daniel Tosh]

It's just north and south. But we're not going to include Mexico. And I don't know why we don't ever include Mexico. Is there any tour stops we should start doing in Mexico?

[Pierre]

Mexico City?

[Daniel Tosh]

Let's look into that, because, I mean, I'm going to be pretty selective. You met your wife in Tijuana, right, Pete? Oh, man. That was it. She was writing for a donkey show at the time. Yeah.

[Ed]

Punching up the script.

[Daniel Tosh]

She was. She's like, yeah, why don't you do this with the ping pong ball? And they're like, all right. Thank you, Carl. You're not interested. My bad.

[Ed]

Paid her in fireworks.

[Daniel Tosh]

I think my house is sold. So come on. Sorry. If you were eyeballing that she's gone, let's do. Let's do Amanda, my wife's cousin. Let's see if we got any new voicemails from potential suitors. And that will one day hopefully become a member of my family. And more importantly or equally as important, give her children. Tick, tick. Let's go.

[Ed]

Here we go.

[Pierre]

Hey.

[Caller]

Interested in potentially being a partner for Panda?

[Daniel Tosh]

Good.

[Caller]

Your wife's cousin.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yep.

[Caller]

I'm 100% pure hunk. Six, four, one. Six foot two. We'll say six foot two. Only the other questions I can't remember. Did I mention I'm 100 pure hunk?

[Ed]

100 pure.

[Daniel Tosh]

If you're a hundred percent pure hunk, you don't even need to tell me your height. I know. You're over six feet. He didn't. He didn't say he was 80. Hunk, right? Somebody five' ten, 100% hunk.

[Ed]

Thanks for. I'm glad he called us. What are we. This is nice.

[Daniel Tosh]

I can't believe that guy's still on the market.

[Ed]

Right?

[Daniel Tosh]

He sounds like. Like an old prospector does basement wearing.

[John]

A skin suit that he's not.

[Daniel Tosh]

But he's 100% pure hung. All right, that.

[Ed]

We'll put him in the maybes.

[Daniel Tosh]

Oh, no, no. That's a definite. That's a slam dunk.

[Ed]

You gotta be at the top.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, of course. I mean, we haven't had 100% pure hunk yet.

[Ed]

We have. Well, actually have not Panda.

[Daniel Tosh]

I guarantee right now, just her hearing that got her little. Her moisture wicking drawers got him working overtime.

[Ed]

I guess. I don't know.

[Daniel Tosh]

Anybody else call?

[Ed]

We do have another call.

[Caller]

Hey, Tosh, please call me. Dude, I know what's wrong with Panda's eye. I had the same problem, and it took them forever to fix it, but I know. I know it'll work. It'll fix it. She'll be so happy. It's like, unbelievable. My number's 828808. 828808.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right, it says 828808.

[Ed]

We gotta ring them up.

[Daniel Tosh]

Well, yeah, if this guy can solve her. Now, some people, you know, I can't assume that everybody watches every podcast, but Amanda gets this eye thing a couple times a year, you know, six times a year, where her eye just balloons up in the morning. It's like this for 24 hours at most. It's a bit of a red flag, I'll be honest. And she takes fistfuls of Benadryl and it goes away. But she's had many doctors look at it, and nobody could pinpoint what was wrong with it. This caller, who I'm guessing wants to bang the shit out of her, says he can also fix it. All right, well, his number is 828808. Give a ring, Ed.

[Ed]

All right, call him out.

[Daniel Tosh]

Hello?

[Jim]

What's up, Daniel? I recognize your voices.

[Daniel Tosh]

Nice, nice. What's your. I don't even have a name. What's your name?

[Jim]

My name is Jim.

[Daniel Tosh]

Hey, Jim, thanks for calling the hotline to end up marrying my wife's cousin. But you have medical information. You think you can fix her eye problem?

[Jim]

I absolutely know I can, because I had the same problem, and I went to dermatologist after dermatologist. And they always give me these creams and they say, put this cream on and put this cream on. And some of them had freaking steroids, Some of them didn't. It was just ridiculous.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay, what is it? What's the fix?

[Jim]

It's a form of rosacea.

[Daniel Tosh]

Okay?

[Jim]

You take an antibiotic. And the antibiotic they gave me was minicillin, M, I, N, O, C, Y, C, L, I, n, e, minicillin capsules, 50 milligrams. And whenever my eye would start, kind of starting to get a little issue, I just start taking two capsules a day. And it won't happen. And you can if you. If you take them all the time. But I didn't want to do that because it's an antibiotic. But my doctor said you can just take them all the time. It'll never happen. So I just wait till I get a little twitch in the eye. I start taking them, and it goes away immediately.

[Daniel Tosh]

But how many days do you take it after it starts? Like after you feel it coming on? You take two antibiotics that day? Do you take two the next day too?

[Jim]

Yeah, I take it for like two weeks, and then I quit.

[Daniel Tosh]

I mean, two weeks, That's a lot of antibiotics in your system. I don't know why that makes me suspect of it, but. All right.

[Pierre]

It.

[Jim]

Tell Panda and she'll be happy because this is so old. I know she's sick of it. I was sick of it. I. And I couldn't believe the number of doctors I went to. That would be like, just don't.

[Daniel Tosh]

I don't know.

[Jim]

One guy said, I tried everything. I give up.

[Daniel Tosh]

Huh?

[Jim]

I was a dermatologist.

[Daniel Tosh]

Are you?

[Jim]

And I said, oh, thanks, Jim.

[Daniel Tosh]

Are you interested in marrying her, or is that not what you're calling about at all?

[Jim]

Oh, I'd love to marry her. She's hot. But it wouldn't work out there for several reasons. One of. One of the big ones. I. I do not like horses.

[Daniel Tosh]

It. I'm gonna be honest with you. It's. It's the biggest hurdle we've got with her. Ah. All right. Hey, well, I'm gonna pass on all the information and, yeah, thanks for the call. Jim. Wait.

[Jim]

Daniel.

[Daniel Tosh]

What?

[Jim]

I gotta. I can't believe I'm talking to you. Dude, I've been a fan of yours since the beginning. Since Comedy Central back before your hair plugs. I mean, holy shit, Jim.

[Daniel Tosh]

They're not plugs. It's just prp. It's just platelet enriched blood.

[Jim]

Well, whatever it is, I mean, I'm just. I'm saying I've been a fan of you from the very beginning. I've seen all your comedy specials. I'd love to see you in person. It's. And I'm in Florida, by the way. I. I was born in Florida. Now I'm back here living in.

[Daniel Tosh]

Where are you in Florida?

[Jim]

I'm in Claremont, right outside of Orlando.

[Daniel Tosh]

Huh.

[Jim]

All right, so if you have a comedy show, come nearby here. I'll go see you.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right, Jim. I appreciate it, man.

[Jim]

Hi, brother.

[Daniel Tosh]

Nice talking to you.

[Jim]

I can't believe I'm talking to Daniel Tosh.

[Daniel Tosh]

Hey, believe it. Thanks, Jim.

[Jim]

I watched your podcast today with the Mitchellin dude. The three star dude.

[Daniel Tosh]

Yeah, he's a nice guy. All right, Jim, I gotta go.

[Jim]

All right, brother.

[Pierre]

Love you.

[Daniel Tosh]

See you, buddy.

[Jim]

Bye.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right. It seems like a man's just gotta take just tons and tons of medicine for weeks.

[Pierre]

Weeks of medicine, vanity over not having any antibodies.

[Daniel Tosh]

All right, see you next week.

[John]

AI agents are everywhere. Automating tasks and making decisions at machine speed. But agents make mistakes. Just one rogue agent can do big damage before you even notice. Rubrik Agent cloud is the only platform that helps you monitor agents, set guardrails and rewind mistakes so you can unleash agents, not risk accelerate your AI [e-mail] that's R U V R I K dot com.