Grant (2:19)
Posh show, posh show. Posh show. For welcome to the hoedown, I'm your host, Daniel Tosh. Let's get it going. If you think your sister's fine, grab her where the sun don't shine. If you think your cousin's sweet then you can elicer feet. Oh, man, it's good to be back. Ed, how are you? I'm good, how are you? Good, man, I'm doing great. Before I start the show, Eddie, I want to say congratulations to the Michigan Wolverines for kicking the dog out of the national champion Ohio State Buckeyes. Yeah, that's got to feel good, right? You win the national championship and then Michigan has to be like, yeah, well, we beat you badly. Woo. Do you hear that? We were an answer on Jeopardy. I did hear this. Oh, man. It was a, a. Just ask spindly comedian, Daniel. A load of, I guess it was a load of tosh. By the way, spindly, that's not a compliment. But you're allowed to, you're allowed to throw those adjectives around when it's a thin person. You think had I been tipping the scales the other direction, they would have been like, just ask this fat fuck. Portly cream. Oh, portly. That would have been better than. Yeah, they probably wouldn't have put fat fuck. They probably would have went portly. But you get it. Inappropriate. Yeah, whatever. You know, we're in trying times here in SoCal. I'm gonna start saying SoCal at all times. Yeah, everybody's getting back to their new normal. You know, every time I leave to go somewhere, whether it's a store or work, I always, I always sneak out of the house. You know, I don't say goodbye. Slipping out. Well, you say goodbye. People always say, oh, what if that was the last time you saw your family? And that would make me want to give a more genuine goodbye. But the reality is, if I actually say goodbye to my children, then for the next 15 to 30 minutes, they're whining, crying, holding on to me, don't leave, blah, blah, blah. And it's like I can't get anything done. So what do I do? Instead of saying goodbye to my loved ones, I always just quietly disappear. That's how I leave my house every day. Yeah, makes sense. It's just not worth it any other way. By the way, let me speak in my family. You know, I have conversations with my son every day and you know, he's getting older and his vocabulary is getting better. But for some reason, the other side of the family, my in laws, they can't wrap their head around the fact that I'm talking to him like my father in law. I'll ask my son like, oh, what are you watching? And then my Father in law. Oh, we're watching, you know, this sea beast movie. I'm like, I'm, I'm not talking to you. The other day he like, they had this Lego toy and it was like a little Formula one car. And I said to myself, I go, where does the driver sit? And immediately, Greg, my father in law, goes, oh, they sit right there. And I just looked at him like, what, you don't think I fucking. The only thing, I don't know where the driver sits in the car. I'm just trying to have a conversation with a five year old. They just get so excited that they know the answer to something, that's what it is. So they just immediately chime in. That's great. What'd you do today, buddy? Oh, we went to the park. Oh, okay. You went to the park. Thanks. 70 year old, you gotta start saying your son's name before you ask the questions. Maybe. Okay, Eddie, you're right. So when I start teasing them about constantly answering the questions that were meant for a child, he says, my son says to me, well, dad, you should say my name first. That way they know not to answer. He's like, he's already got it. So that's what I'm gonna do. Unbelievable. I'll tell you what, I wish I could trade in laws with today's guest. They're good people. You guys are in for a treat today because today's guest. This is a world that I've always been fascinated by to a creepy level. Enjoy. Well, hello there, fellow entrepreneurs. Daniel Tosh here. It's a new year. 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